1
00:00:09,504 --> 00:00:11,172
(exclaiming)
2
00:00:16,311 --> 00:00:18,379
(school bell ringing)
3
00:00:18,447 --> 00:00:21,115
(tires screech)
4
00:00:21,183 --> 00:00:22,149
D'oh!
5
00:00:23,718 --> 00:00:25,369
(grunts)
6
00:00:25,454 --> 00:00:27,204
♪ ♪
7
00:00:33,895 --> 00:00:34,845
(grunts)
8
00:00:41,887 --> 00:00:43,120
(laughter)
9
00:00:46,341 --> 00:00:47,408
(shrieks)
10
00:00:49,544 --> 00:00:50,578
Hey, shut up!
11
00:00:57,419 --> 00:00:58,252
(grunts)
12
00:00:58,277 --> 00:01:02,277
♪ The Simpsons 23x18 ♪
Beware My Cheating Bart
Original Air Date on April 15, 2012
13
00:01:02,302 --> 00:01:06,302
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
14
00:01:07,145 --> 00:01:07,995
(knocking)
15
00:01:10,064 --> 00:01:10,931
(cooing):
Dada.
16
00:01:37,759 --> 00:01:39,927
♪ ♪
17
00:01:55,110 --> 00:01:58,112
Okay, what's an appropriate
movie for you boys?
18
00:01:58,180 --> 00:01:59,180
No. No.
19
00:01:59,247 --> 00:02:00,714
Ooh, here's one!
20
00:02:00,782 --> 00:02:02,616
Happy Little Elves
Two: The Sequelf.
21
00:02:02,684 --> 00:02:03,684
Two kids.
22
00:02:03,752 --> 00:02:05,619
That movie's
for babies.
23
00:02:05,670 --> 00:02:08,422
Eh, watch whatever you want;
I got you here alive.
24
00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:09,373
(chuckles)
25
00:02:09,441 --> 00:02:10,941
Now I'm gonna visit
26
00:02:11,009 --> 00:02:13,577
the only court I could never
be in contempt of: food court!
27
00:02:13,645 --> 00:02:14,812
(laughs)
28
00:02:17,082 --> 00:02:19,850
Now, to save on calories,
29
00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:22,052
I won't eat the paper
in the fortune cookie.
30
00:02:24,439 --> 00:02:26,190
(humming)
31
00:02:26,274 --> 00:02:29,109
(wheezing)
32
00:02:31,346 --> 00:02:34,448
(panting heavily)
33
00:02:34,516 --> 00:02:38,152
Sir, I can't help but noticing
that you are very near death.
34
00:02:38,220 --> 00:02:41,589
Closer than you think.
35
00:02:41,656 --> 00:02:43,357
(humming)
36
00:02:43,425 --> 00:02:44,575
(grunting)
37
00:02:48,029 --> 00:02:49,613
Ow!
38
00:02:49,681 --> 00:02:51,031
Homer-- Can I
call you Homer?
39
00:02:51,099 --> 00:02:52,366
Sure. What's your name?
40
00:02:52,434 --> 00:02:54,184
Well, I'm not required
to tell you that.
41
00:02:54,252 --> 00:02:56,403
Homer, how long do
you want to live?
44
00:03:02,928 --> 00:03:06,347
I heard Lenny had
a terrible fall.
45
00:03:06,414 --> 00:03:08,032
You know who
else fell?
46
00:03:08,116 --> 00:03:09,700
Dr. Hibbert.
47
00:03:09,768 --> 00:03:12,736
Yeah, falls'll getcha.
48
00:03:12,804 --> 00:03:16,023
Well, I want to help you
make it to that glorious day.
49
00:03:16,074 --> 00:03:17,074
For money.
50
00:03:17,142 --> 00:03:19,476
This is
the Butt-Whisperer 9000.
51
00:03:19,544 --> 00:03:21,245
- Cushioned track...
- Ooh!
52
00:03:21,329 --> 00:03:22,780
hydration dock...
- Got to have that.
53
00:03:22,847 --> 00:03:24,248
built-in HDTV...
- Loving it.
54
00:03:24,332 --> 00:03:25,866
dog-walk side path...
- A must.
55
00:03:25,934 --> 00:03:27,935
liability opt-out button...
- Keep 'em coming.
56
00:03:28,003 --> 00:03:29,570
and drill sergeant mode.
57
00:03:29,638 --> 00:03:30,704
(beep)
58
00:03:30,772 --> 00:03:31,789
Run, you maggot!
59
00:03:31,856 --> 00:03:33,157
Faster, you tub of lard!
60
00:03:33,224 --> 00:03:36,543
(gasps) It's programmed
to my specifications!
61
00:03:36,611 --> 00:03:39,246
Oh, but I can't afford this.
62
00:03:39,314 --> 00:03:41,982
Homer, you can't
afford $300 a month?
63
00:03:42,050 --> 00:03:43,150
No.
64
00:03:43,218 --> 00:03:44,818
Well, what about
ten dollars a day?
65
00:03:44,886 --> 00:03:46,787
Easy!
66
00:03:46,855 --> 00:03:49,840
How was Crappy Little Elves?
67
00:03:49,908 --> 00:03:53,610
My friend and I only see it
to rank on it.
68
00:03:53,678 --> 00:03:56,213
Get that stuff off!
69
00:03:56,281 --> 00:03:57,614
Take a picture first.
70
00:03:57,682 --> 00:03:58,782
Now!
71
00:03:58,850 --> 00:03:59,917
(laughter)
72
00:03:59,985 --> 00:04:01,669
We're gonna be checking out
73
00:04:01,736 --> 00:04:05,789
a delightful Hong Kong horror
remake known as Crawlspace,
74
00:04:05,857 --> 00:04:08,158
based on Paxing kongjian.
75
00:04:08,226 --> 00:04:09,893
Well, count me out, Jimbo.
76
00:04:09,961 --> 00:04:12,429
I don't need to hear
how every chick in the movie
77
00:04:12,497 --> 00:04:14,315
got what was
coming to them.
78
00:04:14,382 --> 00:04:16,050
Shauna, food
for thought:
79
00:04:16,117 --> 00:04:18,919
if we don't watch movies
about torture in crawl spaces,
80
00:04:18,987 --> 00:04:20,738
how will we
know what to do
81
00:04:20,805 --> 00:04:23,374
if someone puts us in
a torture crawl space?
82
00:04:23,441 --> 00:04:25,576
Not if, when.
83
00:04:25,643 --> 00:04:28,462
Nah, I'm gonna go see one of
those Jennifer Aniston movies
84
00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:30,364
where she rolls her eyes
on the poster.
85
00:04:30,432 --> 00:04:31,999
Mm.
86
00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:35,569
Babe, you know I don't want you
watching a movie by yourself.
87
00:04:35,637 --> 00:04:37,404
You're a total perv magnet.
88
00:04:37,472 --> 00:04:38,639
Aw!
89
00:04:38,707 --> 00:04:40,507
So, I'll find
someone to take you.
90
00:04:40,575 --> 00:04:43,377
Someone unthreatening.
91
00:04:45,030 --> 00:04:46,930
Hey, you know our deal:
92
00:04:46,998 --> 00:04:49,133
chaperones cannot be
humiliating.
93
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,801
She's got you there.
94
00:04:50,869 --> 00:04:52,886
How 'bout this one?
Simpson?
95
00:04:52,954 --> 00:04:53,921
Let's see.
96
00:04:53,988 --> 00:04:55,622
No starter stache,
97
00:04:55,673 --> 00:04:57,107
temp tat,
98
00:04:57,175 --> 00:05:01,795
still has baby teeth
at nine and 24.
99
00:05:01,863 --> 00:05:03,864
Total pre-puber.
100
00:05:03,932 --> 00:05:06,200
Now, you stay close
to my Shauna.
101
00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:09,403
If someone so much as
peels a ladybug decal
102
00:05:09,470 --> 00:05:12,489
off her fake fingernails,
I'm blaming you!
103
00:05:12,574 --> 00:05:14,391
Come on, come on.
104
00:05:14,459 --> 00:05:17,094
The best murder's
always first.
105
00:05:17,162 --> 00:05:18,395
(dramatic music
playing inside)
106
00:05:18,463 --> 00:05:20,614
MAN:
Not my eyelids!
107
00:05:20,682 --> 00:05:22,516
ANISTON:
(groans) Are you telling me
108
00:05:22,584 --> 00:05:24,251
the real reason you
started dating me
109
00:05:24,319 --> 00:05:26,336
was so you could
buy my flower shop?
110
00:05:26,421 --> 00:05:29,156
Yes. Your lease was
the last thing stopping me
111
00:05:29,207 --> 00:05:30,707
from tearing this place down
112
00:05:30,792 --> 00:05:33,210
and building the biggest
horse crematorium in Manhattan.
113
00:05:33,278 --> 00:05:34,812
But none of that matters now.
114
00:05:38,149 --> 00:05:39,550
All right, we've
seen his ass.
115
00:05:39,617 --> 00:05:40,667
Let's go.
116
00:05:41,803 --> 00:05:44,338
Hey, I can hook you up
117
00:05:44,406 --> 00:05:47,174
with pinto
and black beans.
118
00:05:47,242 --> 00:05:49,476
Oh, I'll do anything
for free beans.
119
00:05:49,544 --> 00:05:50,544
Anything.
120
00:05:50,612 --> 00:05:51,845
Hey, Nametag.
121
00:05:51,913 --> 00:05:53,847
Do you know
who her boyfriend is?
122
00:05:53,915 --> 00:05:55,449
Jimbo Jones.
123
00:05:55,517 --> 00:05:57,184
I got to go sort tortillas!
124
00:05:57,252 --> 00:05:59,787
Corn, flour, corn, corn,
no gluten, corn.
125
00:05:59,854 --> 00:06:01,021
Two stuck together?!
126
00:06:01,089 --> 00:06:03,157
Oh, now I got to fill out
a form!
127
00:06:03,224 --> 00:06:05,742
Listen, lady, you do not
two-time the man
128
00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:07,161
with the skull T-shirt.
129
00:06:07,212 --> 00:06:09,213
(scoffs) Jimbo doesn't
care about me.
130
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,465
He didn't even
notice my side braid.
131
00:06:11,533 --> 00:06:12,933
Oh, that is cool.
132
00:06:13,001 --> 00:06:15,636
Looks like two snakes trying
to kill each other on your head.
133
00:06:15,703 --> 00:06:17,221
That's what I
was going for.
134
00:06:17,305 --> 00:06:19,973
You know, for a second
grader, you're pretty sharp.
135
00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:21,592
I'm actually in fourth grade,
136
00:06:21,676 --> 00:06:24,278
but I read
at a second grade level.
137
00:06:24,345 --> 00:06:26,046
They think I might
have a problem.
138
00:06:26,114 --> 00:06:27,281
Wow.
139
00:06:27,348 --> 00:06:29,049
KEARNEY:
Why did I see that movie
140
00:06:29,117 --> 00:06:31,285
the day before I have to
clean the crawl space?
141
00:06:31,352 --> 00:06:32,953
Come on, boy!
We've got to go home!
142
00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:36,190
I saved big bucks
on the delivery charges.
143
00:06:36,257 --> 00:06:38,459
(grunting)
144
00:06:38,526 --> 00:06:39,593
(muffled):
D'oh!
145
00:06:39,661 --> 00:06:41,061
I got to go.
146
00:06:41,129 --> 00:06:42,296
He's my ride.
147
00:06:42,363 --> 00:06:44,164
Not so fast, Simpson.
148
00:06:44,232 --> 00:06:47,434
FYI, you got another date
tomorrow with Shauna.
149
00:06:47,502 --> 00:06:48,702
(chuckles)
150
00:06:48,770 --> 00:06:50,037
Why can't you do it?
151
00:06:50,104 --> 00:06:51,872
We're going to a seminar:
152
00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:55,008
"Extracting Lunch Money
from a Cashless Society."
153
00:06:55,076 --> 00:06:57,211
We're gonna rob the guy
giving the seminar.
154
00:06:57,278 --> 00:06:59,513
Bart and I'll figure out
something.
155
00:06:59,581 --> 00:07:00,681
Yeah.
156
00:07:00,748 --> 00:07:02,816
(humming)
157
00:07:02,884 --> 00:07:04,084
(slurping)
158
00:07:04,152 --> 00:07:05,252
(sighs):
Ah.
159
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,321
Doesn't get
any better than this.
160
00:07:08,790 --> 00:07:10,774
Huh?
161
00:07:10,859 --> 00:07:13,177
That's weird,
my armpits are getting wet!
162
00:07:13,244 --> 00:07:15,729
Wow, the TV's hooked
up to the Internet.
163
00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:19,116
You can stream whole
seasons of old TV shows.
164
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,200
Hmm.
165
00:07:20,268 --> 00:07:21,601
Seen it. Seen it. Seen it.
166
00:07:21,653 --> 00:07:23,020
British version was better.
167
00:07:23,087 --> 00:07:24,505
Totally scripted. Sued it.
168
00:07:24,572 --> 00:07:26,106
Stranded? What's that?
169
00:07:26,174 --> 00:07:28,008
Stranded was a show
about people marooned
170
00:07:28,076 --> 00:07:30,143
on a mysterious island
that's riddled with
171
00:07:30,211 --> 00:07:32,079
religious and scientific
paradoxes.
172
00:07:32,146 --> 00:07:33,547
It was huge.
173
00:07:33,615 --> 00:07:35,666
Well, the first season
and the last season.
174
00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:38,602
Well, islands are
always entertaining,
175
00:07:38,670 --> 00:07:41,004
from Gilligan to Iwo Jima.
176
00:07:42,223 --> 00:07:44,091
(dramatic music playing)
177
00:07:44,142 --> 00:07:45,058
(screams)
178
00:07:45,126 --> 00:07:46,326
A plane crash!
179
00:07:48,580 --> 00:07:50,013
Wait a minute.
180
00:07:50,081 --> 00:07:53,800
That flashback raised
more questions than it answered.
181
00:07:53,868 --> 00:07:55,702
(grunting)
182
00:07:56,571 --> 00:07:58,405
Oh, my God.
183
00:07:58,473 --> 00:07:59,840
Inside the coconut,
184
00:07:59,908 --> 00:08:02,910
my pet cat
from when I was little.
185
00:08:02,977 --> 00:08:04,945
And on his name tag
186
00:08:05,013 --> 00:08:06,647
is the number
of our flight!
187
00:08:06,714 --> 00:08:08,148
Purr-gatory.
188
00:08:08,216 --> 00:08:09,816
Where are we?!
189
00:08:12,554 --> 00:08:15,539
What a great opening episode!
190
00:08:15,607 --> 00:08:19,343
And I'm sure everything they
said will pay off handsomely!
191
00:08:21,596 --> 00:08:23,964
(dramatic music playing)
192
00:08:28,736 --> 00:08:30,103
Hmm. Ah!
193
00:08:33,057 --> 00:08:34,224
Huh?
194
00:08:34,292 --> 00:08:35,859
Let's go. And
don't look guilty.
195
00:08:35,927 --> 00:08:38,929
(alarm beeping)
196
00:08:38,997 --> 00:08:40,998
Young lady, I need
to check your purse.
197
00:08:41,065 --> 00:08:42,566
I didn't steal nothing.
198
00:08:42,634 --> 00:08:44,901
If anything
happens to her,
199
00:08:44,969 --> 00:08:47,971
I'll beat you up
from inside your brain.
200
00:08:48,039 --> 00:08:49,122
(grunts)
201
00:08:51,292 --> 00:08:52,559
I stole this.
202
00:08:52,627 --> 00:08:53,994
You stole perfume?
203
00:08:54,062 --> 00:08:55,329
Uh, yeah, me.
204
00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:57,514
I use it all the time.
205
00:08:57,582 --> 00:08:59,600
♪ Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi ♪
206
00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:01,034
♪ You-you-you-you ♪
207
00:09:01,102 --> 00:09:03,770
and I are taking a
trip to mall jail.
208
00:09:03,838 --> 00:09:06,039
Isn't that what used to be
the Beanie Baby store?
209
00:09:06,107 --> 00:09:08,342
Shut up.
210
00:09:09,844 --> 00:09:12,129
(explosion)
211
00:09:12,196 --> 00:09:14,264
This is so cool.
212
00:09:14,349 --> 00:09:15,766
You took a
fall for me.
213
00:09:15,833 --> 00:09:17,384
No one's done anything
for me before.
214
00:09:17,435 --> 00:09:18,685
Uh-oh.
215
00:09:18,753 --> 00:09:21,321
Don't worry. I made sure
he can't get too far.
216
00:09:21,389 --> 00:09:22,472
(tire pops, hisses)
217
00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:23,757
I'd use my legs
but I've forgotten how!
218
00:09:23,825 --> 00:09:24,825
Come with me.
219
00:09:27,011 --> 00:09:30,080
Hey, the first time we lost
Maggie was in this store!
220
00:09:30,148 --> 00:09:32,616
Bart, here's my
thank-you gift.
221
00:09:32,684 --> 00:09:35,218
What could a girl have
that I...
222
00:09:35,286 --> 00:09:36,953
Oh, my God!
223
00:09:37,021 --> 00:09:38,689
It's just like Dad's!
224
00:09:44,908 --> 00:09:47,710
Bart, you haven't touched
your mashed potatoes.
225
00:09:49,246 --> 00:09:50,446
More breast?
226
00:09:50,514 --> 00:09:51,881
What-- No!
227
00:09:51,949 --> 00:09:55,101
I'm offering you a
chicken breast, you boob!
228
00:09:55,169 --> 00:09:57,753
Doesn't anyone here realize
I'm only ten years old?
229
00:09:57,821 --> 00:10:00,139
Bart, no dinner
means no dessert.
230
00:10:00,207 --> 00:10:01,574
(gasps)
231
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,443
I'm just not ready
for cookies!
232
00:10:03,510 --> 00:10:05,912
You know, I should
get back to the treadmill.
233
00:10:05,979 --> 00:10:08,448
(chuckles)
234
00:10:08,515 --> 00:10:11,951
He exercises so much,
but he looks the same.
235
00:10:12,019 --> 00:10:14,187
I guess the weight will
all come off at once,
236
00:10:14,254 --> 00:10:15,521
some day in the future.
237
00:10:15,589 --> 00:10:18,357
Don't you believe
anything Homer says.
238
00:10:18,425 --> 00:10:20,993
His first word was a lie.
239
00:10:21,061 --> 00:10:23,296
Who did this?
240
00:10:23,363 --> 00:10:24,330
Mommy.
241
00:10:24,398 --> 00:10:25,398
She did?!
242
00:10:25,466 --> 00:10:26,966
Then I'm gonna
withhold affection
243
00:10:27,034 --> 00:10:28,901
without telling her why.
244
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,354
(dramatic music playing)
245
00:10:40,964 --> 00:10:42,048
(groans)
Huh?
246
00:10:43,183 --> 00:10:44,350
Don't believe
anything you were
247
00:10:44,401 --> 00:10:45,868
told by me in the past,
248
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:46,886
because that was not me.
249
00:10:46,954 --> 00:10:48,154
But this is me now.
250
00:10:48,222 --> 00:10:49,822
But in less than a second,
I'll be gone forever.
251
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:51,107
(roaring)
252
00:10:51,191 --> 00:10:53,042
I might be back!
253
00:10:55,562 --> 00:10:56,496
(gasps)
254
00:10:56,563 --> 00:10:58,097
The lava being!
255
00:10:58,165 --> 00:11:01,968
That's why they showed a clip
of it on "previously on."
256
00:11:02,035 --> 00:11:03,202
MARGE:
Homer!
257
00:11:03,270 --> 00:11:05,438
You're using your
expensive new treadmill
258
00:11:05,506 --> 00:11:09,041
just to watch a show that went
off the air five years ago?
259
00:11:09,109 --> 00:11:11,244
And when I wanted
to watch it with you then,
260
00:11:11,311 --> 00:11:14,113
you said it was
pretentious and repetitive.
261
00:11:14,181 --> 00:11:17,517
Marge, there're so many
mysteries I need to have solved.
262
00:11:17,584 --> 00:11:20,903
Now, if the Korean couple
can't speak English,
263
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:23,005
why were they doing
a crossword puzzle
264
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:26,676
where the answer to 23 down was
"enigma" spelled backwards?
265
00:11:26,743 --> 00:11:28,177
What does it mean?
266
00:11:28,245 --> 00:11:31,981
It means use the treadmill for
running or take it back!
267
00:11:32,049 --> 00:11:33,349
And where will I watch TV?
268
00:11:33,417 --> 00:11:35,117
On the TV!
269
00:11:35,185 --> 00:11:36,953
And where will I walk?!
270
00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:38,688
On the ground!
271
00:11:38,755 --> 00:11:41,557
- And where...
- This is the stupidest fight ever!
272
00:11:41,625 --> 00:11:43,292
We've had stupider!
273
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,027
I don't think so.
274
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,629
(slurps)
275
00:11:46,697 --> 00:11:48,297
JIMBO: Hey, Fart-tholomew.
276
00:11:48,365 --> 00:11:51,601
You did a sweet job
watching my woman yesterday.
277
00:11:51,668 --> 00:11:54,921
(both moaning)
278
00:11:54,988 --> 00:11:56,756
So, what do you
want to do now?
279
00:11:56,823 --> 00:11:59,425
What any boy would: push you in
a puddle and run away.
280
00:11:59,476 --> 00:12:01,811
Maybe I should be
faithful to Jimbo.
281
00:12:01,878 --> 00:12:04,313
He's bought me a lot of gum
over the past couple months.
282
00:12:04,381 --> 00:12:06,249
Listen...
283
00:12:06,316 --> 00:12:08,918
I could get wedgied for this,
but Jimbo's a jerk.
284
00:12:08,986 --> 00:12:10,419
You can do better.
285
00:12:10,487 --> 00:12:12,755
Wow. You told me
what's best for me...
286
00:12:12,823 --> 00:12:14,790
at risk to yourself.
287
00:12:14,858 --> 00:12:16,692
Come with me.
(gulps)
288
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:19,311
Shauna, I forgot to
grope you goodbye.
289
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:22,982
(both moaning)
290
00:12:27,321 --> 00:12:29,789
At last!
This episode promises
291
00:12:29,856 --> 00:12:31,691
to finally answer
one question.
292
00:12:31,758 --> 00:12:33,259
Whoo-ho-ho-ho...
293
00:12:33,327 --> 00:12:35,144
MARGE: Homie!
(shouts)
294
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,713
The kids are away
and Maggie's napping...
295
00:12:38,849 --> 00:12:41,000
Ooh, that's great.
296
00:12:41,068 --> 00:12:42,768
Can it wait another
104 hours?
297
00:12:42,836 --> 00:12:44,086
MARGE: Oh!
(slams door)
298
00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:45,855
She walked away
299
00:12:45,922 --> 00:12:48,007
and slammed the door.
What does it mean?
300
00:12:48,075 --> 00:12:49,508
What does it mean?!
301
00:12:49,576 --> 00:12:51,510
MARGE:
It means I'm mad!
302
00:12:51,578 --> 00:12:55,014
Oh, that's such a
first-take answer!
303
00:12:55,082 --> 00:12:57,316
(Simon & Garfunkel's
"April Come She Will" playing)
304
00:12:57,384 --> 00:13:00,670
♪ April ♪
305
00:13:00,737 --> 00:13:04,707
♪ Come she will ♪
306
00:13:04,775 --> 00:13:09,795
♪ When streams are ripe
and swelled with rain ♪
307
00:13:09,863 --> 00:13:13,966
♪ May she will stay... ♪
308
00:13:14,034 --> 00:13:16,419
This one's yours, Ralphie.
309
00:13:16,503 --> 00:13:17,503
(siren wails)
310
00:13:17,554 --> 00:13:21,590
♪ Resting in my arms again ♪
311
00:13:26,863 --> 00:13:31,050
♪ June ♪
312
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:34,687
♪ She'll change your tune ♪
313
00:13:34,755 --> 00:13:39,592
♪ In restless walks,
she'll prowl the night ♪
314
00:13:39,660 --> 00:13:46,248
♪ July she will fly ♪
315
00:13:46,316 --> 00:13:52,104
♪ And give no warning
to her flight... ♪
316
00:13:52,172 --> 00:13:56,292
Simpson, I guess you don't
have much respect for me.
317
00:13:56,376 --> 00:13:59,445
Well, who wears
a wool hat to a pool?
318
00:13:59,513 --> 00:14:00,613
(grunts)
319
00:14:02,282 --> 00:14:03,883
(laughing)
320
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:05,017
It's not fair!
321
00:14:05,085 --> 00:14:06,952
You know that's hilarious!
322
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:08,454
(grunts)
323
00:14:08,522 --> 00:14:09,755
(grunts)
324
00:14:09,823 --> 00:14:10,873
(whistle blows)
325
00:14:10,941 --> 00:14:12,908
No horseplay
in the pool area.
326
00:14:12,976 --> 00:14:16,529
This isn't play;
this is some serious payback.
327
00:14:16,596 --> 00:14:18,597
Well, that's, um...
328
00:14:18,665 --> 00:14:20,533
All right, you may
have found a loophole.
329
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:21,801
All right, I better check.
330
00:14:21,868 --> 00:14:23,536
Hello, Abby?
331
00:14:23,603 --> 00:14:26,639
I'm not calling about
the shift change! God!
332
00:14:26,707 --> 00:14:28,107
But, well, since
you bring it up,
333
00:14:28,175 --> 00:14:30,209
if there's a way to flip
Saturday with next Wednesday...
334
00:14:30,277 --> 00:14:32,978
Simpson, prepare to...
335
00:14:34,147 --> 00:14:35,748
Hey, no running on the deck!
336
00:14:35,816 --> 00:14:37,149
I'm on the grass apron!
337
00:14:38,852 --> 00:14:41,687
Huh? Ugh, everyone's
a swimming pool lawyer.
338
00:15:05,723 --> 00:15:08,121
Oh thank God, mom will
pound them.
339
00:15:08,146 --> 00:15:11,319
Why if it isn't Jimbo, Dorf
and Ernie.
340
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,107
(all laughing)
341
00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:15,534
Bart's not home yet.
342
00:15:15,559 --> 00:15:18,754
But I'm always looking to
encourage non-Milhouse play dates.
343
00:15:18,779 --> 00:15:20,014
Stick around.
344
00:15:20,039 --> 00:15:21,239
(groans):
Oh...
345
00:15:21,264 --> 00:15:22,505
SHAUNA: Hey Bart!
346
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:23,790
Oh, it's you.
347
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:27,022
Why do men always
think with their tongue?
348
00:15:27,047 --> 00:15:28,247
I came to help you.
349
00:15:28,447 --> 00:15:31,609
Then go back to Jimbo, and show
him every boob you've got.
350
00:15:31,634 --> 00:15:34,971
But you told me he was a jerk,
and I that I could do better.
351
00:15:38,086 --> 00:15:39,586
(groans):
Oh...
352
00:15:39,654 --> 00:15:40,687
All right.
353
00:15:40,755 --> 00:15:42,823
Follow me to a place
where nerds,
354
00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:44,524
dorks and dweebs can
gather in safety.
355
00:15:44,592 --> 00:15:48,612
This isn't, like, some creepy
place under an off-ramp?
356
00:15:48,679 --> 00:15:50,547
Okay, we'll go
to my second choice.
357
00:15:51,816 --> 00:15:54,418
Now you be careful
with Bart's undies.
358
00:15:54,485 --> 00:15:56,753
We will, Mrs. Simpson.
359
00:15:58,389 --> 00:16:00,357
Think of this as your
personal Asgard,
360
00:16:00,425 --> 00:16:03,593
and I, the all-seeing Heimdall,
guardian of the gate.
361
00:16:03,661 --> 00:16:05,028
All-seeing?
362
00:16:05,096 --> 00:16:07,431
Yeah, when's the last time
you saw your feet?
363
00:16:07,498 --> 00:16:08,865
Oh, that's it!
364
00:16:08,933 --> 00:16:11,050
Fellow bullies, I've got them!
365
00:16:11,102 --> 00:16:13,520
We'll be right there.
366
00:16:13,588 --> 00:16:14,938
You're a bully?
367
00:16:15,006 --> 00:16:16,273
A cyber bully.
368
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:17,841
Anything I do,
it is important that
369
00:16:17,909 --> 00:16:19,342
I can lie down while doing it.
370
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:20,811
(phone chimes)
Huh?
371
00:16:20,878 --> 00:16:23,113
You just got yourself
in a flame war...
372
00:16:23,181 --> 00:16:25,682
with a teenage girl.
373
00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:27,517
Oh, flame on!
374
00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:38,261
Oh! Oh!
375
00:16:38,329 --> 00:16:41,798
You have cloven me from my
ponytail to my slipper shoe!
376
00:16:41,866 --> 00:16:43,200
(sobs)
Get out!
377
00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:44,701
And never return!
378
00:16:44,769 --> 00:16:46,636
Oh, unless you want to
buy old Archie comics.
379
00:16:46,704 --> 00:16:48,338
20 pound bricks
are a dollar.
380
00:16:51,109 --> 00:16:54,845
Thank you all for coming to
my Stranded discussion group.
381
00:16:54,912 --> 00:16:56,413
Hey, I loved that show.
382
00:16:56,481 --> 00:16:58,181
Wasn't it awesome when
Colonel Darkwater...
383
00:16:58,249 --> 00:16:59,866
(horn blares)
Spoiler alert!
384
00:16:59,934 --> 00:17:01,701
I've only seen up to
season three,
385
00:17:01,769 --> 00:17:04,337
episode 17:
"Coconut Cream Die."
386
00:17:04,405 --> 00:17:07,808
So you don't know that season
five was a complete wank?
387
00:17:07,875 --> 00:17:09,242
(blaring)
Spoiler!
388
00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:10,777
Homer, calm down.
389
00:17:10,845 --> 00:17:13,380
It's not like any of this stuff
really took place.
390
00:17:13,447 --> 00:17:15,081
(blaring)
391
00:17:15,149 --> 00:17:16,650
Spoiler!
392
00:17:16,717 --> 00:17:18,385
Homer, for God sakes,
393
00:17:18,453 --> 00:17:20,754
I'm trying to put
Maggie to sleep.
394
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,756
(baby talk):
I'm sorry, sweetie.
395
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:25,459
It's a Strandie
discussion group.
396
00:17:25,526 --> 00:17:26,760
Yes, it is!
397
00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:29,095
We discuss why airplane
go crash-crash
398
00:17:29,163 --> 00:17:31,448
but people don't die-die.
399
00:17:31,516 --> 00:17:33,617
You wanna know what happens
on your stupid show?
400
00:17:33,684 --> 00:17:35,552
Firstly, the "mysterious island"
401
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:37,821
is 15 miles from Long Beach.
402
00:17:37,889 --> 00:17:40,123
Al, Doorway Three led to Hell
403
00:17:40,191 --> 00:17:42,726
despite the series creators'
repeated insistence
404
00:17:42,793 --> 00:17:45,896
it did not lead to Hell,
and the entire Strandiverse,
405
00:17:45,963 --> 00:17:49,132
is a piece of gravel
in a cosmic kitty litter box!
406
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,200
(gasps)
407
00:17:50,268 --> 00:17:51,401
Thanks, Marge.
408
00:17:51,469 --> 00:17:54,004
You ruined my show.
409
00:17:54,071 --> 00:17:56,806
Now, I'm going to
give you a spoiler
410
00:17:56,874 --> 00:18:00,810
about our marriage:
it's not great right now.
411
00:18:00,878 --> 00:18:02,579
(gasping)
412
00:18:02,647 --> 00:18:04,347
Well, since this is a
discussion group,
413
00:18:04,415 --> 00:18:05,749
let's discuss.
414
00:18:05,816 --> 00:18:07,384
I think
they're having a spat.
415
00:18:07,451 --> 00:18:08,818
I'd say
it's more of a tiff.
416
00:18:08,886 --> 00:18:10,420
Oh, so I'm
a moron, am I?
417
00:18:10,488 --> 00:18:12,222
Fellas, fellas,
I know where this is going.
418
00:18:12,290 --> 00:18:15,659
Give me all your
weapons now.
419
00:18:15,726 --> 00:18:17,727
(grunts)
420
00:18:17,795 --> 00:18:21,131
Now it's time to talk about
what Carl wants.
421
00:18:30,548 --> 00:18:32,849
Oh, man, they have every
entrance covered.
422
00:18:32,917 --> 00:18:35,085
You'd have to be a
Navy SEAL to get in or out.
423
00:18:35,113 --> 00:18:36,413
LISA:
Hello, lovebirds.
424
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,614
Whoa!
425
00:18:37,682 --> 00:18:39,214
What are you doing here?
426
00:18:39,215 --> 00:18:42,134
I've been following your
storyline from afar, Bart,
427
00:18:42,202 --> 00:18:43,803
waiting for that
inevitable point
428
00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:45,838
where you get into trouble
you couldn't get out of.
429
00:18:45,906 --> 00:18:48,040
Perhaps I could
broker a settlement.
430
00:18:48,108 --> 00:18:50,109
Well, that's my boyfriend,
but he's a wad.
431
00:18:50,177 --> 00:18:51,894
And your brother's
not a wad, he's a dink
432
00:18:51,945 --> 00:18:53,529
on the road to doofus.
433
00:18:53,597 --> 00:18:54,997
Here, here.
434
00:18:55,065 --> 00:18:56,665
Ow.
435
00:18:56,733 --> 00:18:59,635
The lamb has returned
to the slaughter.
436
00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:01,237
Whoa, you should
write that down, man.
437
00:19:01,304 --> 00:19:02,605
I'll remember it.
438
00:19:04,257 --> 00:19:06,392
I don't think Shauna
should choose any of you.
439
00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:08,828
Shauna should choose Shauna.
440
00:19:08,895 --> 00:19:10,996
Your older sister's right, Bart.
441
00:19:11,064 --> 00:19:12,515
You don't want me?
442
00:19:12,582 --> 00:19:14,450
I want to find out who I am.
443
00:19:14,518 --> 00:19:16,419
And that's something only
444
00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:18,788
an inappropriately
older man can tell me.
445
00:19:18,855 --> 00:19:22,391
Well, that is one
lucky creepy guy.
446
00:19:22,459 --> 00:19:24,193
MARGE: Lisa, are you
out there in your slippers?
447
00:19:24,261 --> 00:19:26,362
Come inside!
448
00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:28,647
Well, Bart, I guess
that's our cue to skedaddle...
449
00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:30,566
Not so fast, Simpson...
450
00:19:30,634 --> 00:19:32,968
Uh, what was that thing
I was gonna do to him?
451
00:19:33,036 --> 00:19:34,837
Told you you should've
written it down.
452
00:19:34,905 --> 00:19:37,823
If I wrote down everything
you told me to write down,
453
00:19:37,891 --> 00:19:40,159
I'd have no time for punching.
454
00:19:40,227 --> 00:19:42,128
Whoa, you should
write that down, man.
455
00:19:44,664 --> 00:19:46,248
Lousy Marge...
456
00:19:46,299 --> 00:19:48,584
ruining the delicate
relationship
457
00:19:48,635 --> 00:19:50,619
between a man and his TV show.
458
00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:54,607
I'd tell my best friend,
but that's Marge too.
459
00:19:54,674 --> 00:19:57,209
MARGE: Homie, come
in the bedroom.
460
00:19:58,378 --> 00:20:00,012
(gasps)
461
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:04,733
Care to join me in a private
last episode party?
462
00:20:04,801 --> 00:20:06,919
Well...
463
00:20:06,987 --> 00:20:08,387
It's okay, Dad.
464
00:20:08,455 --> 00:20:10,189
He's just putting
the fear of God in me.
465
00:20:10,257 --> 00:20:11,924
Okay, but if this house
starts a-rockin',
466
00:20:11,992 --> 00:20:13,626
don't come a-knockin'.
467
00:20:13,693 --> 00:20:15,661
Have a wonderful
evening, sir.
468
00:20:17,097 --> 00:20:18,981
(moaning, smooching)
469
00:20:33,797 --> 00:20:38,234
Purr-plexing, isn't it?
HOMER: D'oh!
470
00:20:38,301 --> 00:20:42,301
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
471
00:21:24,211 --> 00:21:25,411
Shh!