1
00:00:22,214 --> 00:00:23,180
D'oh!
2
00:00:50,182 --> 00:00:51,216
Hey, shut up!
3
00:00:58,915 --> 00:01:02,915
♪ The Simpsons 23x18 ♪
Beware My Cheating Bart
Original Air Date on April 15, 2012
4
00:01:02,940 --> 00:01:06,940
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
5
00:01:10,702 --> 00:01:11,569
Dada.
6
00:01:55,748 --> 00:01:58,750
Okay, what's an appropriate
movie for you boys?
7
00:01:58,818 --> 00:01:59,818
No. No.
8
00:01:59,885 --> 00:02:01,352
Ooh, here's one!
9
00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:03,254
- Happy Little Elves
- The Sequelf.
10
00:02:03,322 --> 00:02:04,322
Two kids.
11
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,257
That movie's for babies.
12
00:02:06,308 --> 00:02:09,060
Eh, watch whatever you want;
I got you here alive.
13
00:02:10,079 --> 00:02:11,579
Now I'm gonna visit
14
00:02:11,647 --> 00:02:14,215
the only court I could never
food court!
15
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,488
Now, to save on calories,
16
00:02:20,556 --> 00:02:22,690
I won't eat the paper
in the fortune cookie.
17
00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:38,790
Sir, I can't help but noticing
that you are very near death.
18
00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:42,227
Closer than you think.
19
00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:50,251
Ow!
20
00:02:50,319 --> 00:02:51,669
Homer-- Can I
call you Homer?
21
00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:53,004
Sure. What's your name?
22
00:02:53,072 --> 00:02:54,822
Well, I'm not required
to tell you that.
23
00:02:54,890 --> 00:02:57,041
Homer, how long do
you want to live?
24
00:02:57,109 --> 00:03:00,612
Long enough that me and Marge
can be one of those couples
25
00:03:00,679 --> 00:03:03,498
who just sit and hold hands.
26
00:03:03,566 --> 00:03:06,985
I heard Lenny had
a terrible fall.
27
00:03:07,052 --> 00:03:08,670
You know who else fell?
28
00:03:08,754 --> 00:03:10,338
Dr. Hibbert.
29
00:03:10,406 --> 00:03:13,374
Yeah, falls'll getcha.
30
00:03:13,442 --> 00:03:16,661
Well, I want to help you
make it to that glorious day.
31
00:03:16,712 --> 00:03:17,712
For money.
32
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:20,114
This is
the Butt-Whisperer 9000.
33
00:03:20,182 --> 00:03:21,883
- Cushioned track...
- Ooh!
34
00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:23,418
hydration dock...
- Got to have that.
35
00:03:23,485 --> 00:03:24,886
built-in HDTV...
- Loving it.
36
00:03:24,970 --> 00:03:26,504
dog-walk side path...
- A must.
37
00:03:26,572 --> 00:03:28,573
liability opt-out button...
- Keep 'em coming.
38
00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:30,208
and drill sergeant mode.
39
00:03:31,410 --> 00:03:32,427
Run, you maggot!
40
00:03:32,494 --> 00:03:33,795
Faster, you tub of lard!
41
00:03:33,862 --> 00:03:37,181
It's programmed
to my specifications!
44
00:03:42,688 --> 00:03:43,788
No.
45
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:45,456
Well, what about
ten dollars a day?
46
00:03:45,524 --> 00:03:47,425
Easy!
47
00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:50,478
How was Crappy Little Elves?
48
00:03:50,546 --> 00:03:54,248
My friend and I only see it
to rank on it.
49
00:03:54,316 --> 00:03:56,851
Get that stuff off!
50
00:03:56,919 --> 00:03:58,252
Take a picture first.
51
00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,420
Now!
52
00:04:00,623 --> 00:04:02,307
We're gonna be checking out
53
00:04:02,374 --> 00:04:06,427
a delightful Hong Kong horror
remake known as Crawlspace,
54
00:04:06,495 --> 00:04:08,796
based on Paxing kongjian.
55
00:04:08,864 --> 00:04:10,531
Well, count me out, Jimbo.
56
00:04:10,599 --> 00:04:13,067
I don't need to hear
how every chick in the movie
57
00:04:13,135 --> 00:04:14,953
got what was coming to them.
58
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:16,688
Shauna, food for thought:
59
00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:19,557
If we don't watch movies
about torture in crawl spaces,
60
00:04:19,625 --> 00:04:21,376
how will we know what to do
61
00:04:21,443 --> 00:04:24,012
if someone puts us in
a torture crawl space?
62
00:04:24,079 --> 00:04:26,214
Not if, when.
63
00:04:26,281 --> 00:04:29,100
Nah, I'm gonna go see one of
those Jennifer Aniston movies
64
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:31,002
where she rolls her eyes
on the poster.
65
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,637
Mm.
66
00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:36,207
Babe, you know I don't want you
watching a movie by yourself.
67
00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:38,042
You're a total perv magnet.
68
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:39,277
Aw!
69
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,145
So, I'll find
someone to take you.
70
00:04:41,213 --> 00:04:44,015
Someone unthreatening.
71
00:04:45,668 --> 00:04:47,568
Hey, you know our deal:
72
00:04:47,636 --> 00:04:49,771
Chaperones cannot be
humiliating.
73
00:04:49,838 --> 00:04:51,439
She's got you there.
74
00:04:51,507 --> 00:04:53,524
How 'bout this one?
Simpson?
75
00:04:53,592 --> 00:04:54,559
Let's see.
76
00:04:54,626 --> 00:04:56,260
No starter stache,
77
00:04:56,311 --> 00:04:57,745
temp tat,
78
00:04:57,813 --> 00:05:02,433
still has baby teeth
at nine and 24.
79
00:05:02,501 --> 00:05:04,502
Total pre-puber.
80
00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:06,838
Now, you stay close
to my Shauna.
81
00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:10,041
If someone so much as
peels a ladybug decal
82
00:05:10,108 --> 00:05:13,127
off her fake fingernails,
I'm blaming you!
83
00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:15,029
Come on, come on.
84
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:17,732
The best murder's always first.
85
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:21,252
Not my eyelids!
86
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,154
Are you telling me
87
00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:24,889
the real reason you
started dating me
88
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:26,974
was so you could
buy my flower shop?
89
00:05:27,059 --> 00:05:29,794
Yes. Your lease was
the last thing stopping me
90
00:05:29,845 --> 00:05:31,345
from tearing this place down
91
00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:33,848
and building the biggest
horse crematorium in Manhattan.
92
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,450
But none of that matters now.
93
00:05:38,787 --> 00:05:40,188
All right, we've seen his ass.
94
00:05:40,255 --> 00:05:41,305
Let's go.
95
00:05:42,441 --> 00:05:44,976
Hey, I can hook you up
96
00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:47,812
with pinto and black beans.
97
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,114
Oh, I'll do anything
for free beans.
98
00:05:50,182 --> 00:05:51,182
Anything.
99
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,483
Hey, Nametag.
100
00:05:52,551 --> 00:05:54,485
Do you know
who her boyfriend is?
101
00:05:54,553 --> 00:05:56,087
Jimbo Jones.
102
00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:57,822
I got to go sort tortillas!
103
00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:00,425
Corn, flour, corn, corn,
no gluten, corn.
104
00:06:00,492 --> 00:06:01,659
Two stuck together?!
105
00:06:01,727 --> 00:06:03,795
Oh, now I got to fill out
a form!
106
00:06:03,862 --> 00:06:06,380
Listen, lady, you do not
two-time the man
107
00:06:06,448 --> 00:06:07,799
with the skull T-shirt.
108
00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:09,851
Jimbo doesn't care about me.
109
00:06:09,918 --> 00:06:12,103
He didn't even
notice my side braid.
110
00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:13,571
Oh, that is cool.
111
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:16,274
Looks like two snakes trying
to kill each other on your head.
112
00:06:16,341 --> 00:06:17,859
That's what I was going for.
113
00:06:17,943 --> 00:06:20,611
You know, for a second
grader, you're pretty sharp.
114
00:06:20,679 --> 00:06:22,230
I'm actually in fourth grade,
115
00:06:22,314 --> 00:06:24,916
but I read
at a second grade level.
116
00:06:24,983 --> 00:06:26,684
They think I might
have a problem.
117
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:27,919
Wow.
118
00:06:27,986 --> 00:06:29,687
Why did I see that movie
119
00:06:29,755 --> 00:06:31,923
the day before I have to
clean the crawl space?
120
00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:33,591
Come on, boy!
We've got to go home!
121
00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:36,828
I saved big bucks
on the delivery charges.
122
00:06:39,164 --> 00:06:40,231
D'oh!
123
00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:41,699
I got to go.
124
00:06:41,767 --> 00:06:42,934
He's my ride.
125
00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:44,802
Not so fast, Simpson.
126
00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:48,072
FYI, you got another date
tomorrow with Shauna.
127
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:50,675
Why can't you do it?
128
00:06:50,742 --> 00:06:52,510
We're going to a seminar:
129
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,646
"Extracting Lunch Money
from a Cashless Society."
130
00:06:55,714 --> 00:06:57,849
We're gonna rob the guy
giving the seminar.
131
00:06:57,916 --> 00:07:00,151
Bart and I'll figure out
something.
132
00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:01,319
Yeah.
133
00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:05,890
Ah.
134
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:07,959
Doesn't get
any better than this.
135
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,412
Huh?
136
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:13,815
That's weird,
my armpits are getting wet!
137
00:07:13,882 --> 00:07:16,367
Wow, the TV's hooked
up to the Internet.
138
00:07:16,418 --> 00:07:19,754
You can stream whole
seasons of old TV shows.
139
00:07:19,838 --> 00:07:20,838
Hmm.
140
00:07:20,906 --> 00:07:22,239
Seen it. Seen it. Seen it.
141
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:23,658
British version was better.
142
00:07:23,725 --> 00:07:25,143
Totally scripted. Sued it.
143
00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:26,744
Stranded? What's that?
144
00:07:26,812 --> 00:07:28,646
Stranded was a show
about people marooned
145
00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:30,781
on a mysterious island
that's riddled with
146
00:07:30,849 --> 00:07:32,717
religious and scientific
paradoxes.
147
00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:34,185
It was huge.
148
00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:36,304
Well, the first season
and the last season.
149
00:07:36,388 --> 00:07:39,240
Well, islands are
always entertaining,
150
00:07:39,308 --> 00:07:41,642
from Gilligan to Iwo Jima.
151
00:07:45,764 --> 00:07:46,964
A plane crash!
152
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,651
Wait a minute.
153
00:07:50,719 --> 00:07:54,438
That flashback raised
more questions than it answered.
154
00:07:57,209 --> 00:07:59,043
Oh, my God.
155
00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:00,478
Inside the coconut,
156
00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:03,548
my pet cat
from when I was little.
157
00:08:03,615 --> 00:08:05,583
And on his name tag
158
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,285
is the number of our flight!
159
00:08:07,352 --> 00:08:08,786
Purr-gatory.
160
00:08:08,854 --> 00:08:10,454
Where are we?!
161
00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:16,177
What a great opening episode!
162
00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:19,981
And I'm sure everything they
said will pay off handsomely!
163
00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:30,741
Hmm. Ah!
164
00:08:33,695 --> 00:08:34,862
Huh?
165
00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:36,497
Let's go. And
don't look guilty.
166
00:08:39,635 --> 00:08:41,636
Young lady, I need
to check your purse.
167
00:08:41,703 --> 00:08:43,204
I didn't steal nothing.
168
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:45,539
If anything happens to her,
169
00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:48,609
I'll beat you up
from inside your brain.
170
00:08:51,930 --> 00:08:53,197
I stole this.
171
00:08:53,265 --> 00:08:54,632
You stole perfume?
172
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,967
Uh, yeah, me.
173
00:08:56,018 --> 00:08:58,152
I use it all the time.
174
00:08:58,220 --> 00:09:00,238
♪ Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi ♪
175
00:09:00,305 --> 00:09:01,672
♪ You-you-you-you ♪
176
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:04,408
And I are taking a
trip to mall jail.
177
00:09:04,476 --> 00:09:06,677
Isn't that what used to be
the Beanie Baby store?
178
00:09:06,745 --> 00:09:08,980
Shut up.
179
00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:14,902
This is so cool.
180
00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:16,404
You took a fall for me.
181
00:09:16,471 --> 00:09:18,022
No one's done anything
for me before.
182
00:09:18,073 --> 00:09:19,323
Uh-oh.
183
00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:21,959
Don't worry. I made sure
he can't get too far.
184
00:09:23,178 --> 00:09:24,395
I'd use my legs
but I've forgotten how!
185
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:25,463
Come with me.
186
00:09:27,649 --> 00:09:30,718
Hey, the first time we lost
Maggie was in this store!
187
00:09:30,786 --> 00:09:33,254
Bart, here's my
thank-you gift.
188
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:35,856
What could a girl have
that I...
189
00:09:35,924 --> 00:09:37,591
Oh, my God!
190
00:09:37,659 --> 00:09:39,327
It's just like Dad's!
191
00:09:48,092 --> 00:09:50,894
Bart, you haven't touched
your mashed potatoes.
192
00:09:52,430 --> 00:09:53,630
More breast?
193
00:09:53,698 --> 00:09:55,065
What-- No!
194
00:09:55,133 --> 00:09:58,285
I'm offering you a
chicken breast, you boob!
195
00:09:58,353 --> 00:10:00,937
Doesn't anyone here realize
I'm only ten years old?
196
00:10:01,005 --> 00:10:03,323
Bart, no dinner
means no dessert.
197
00:10:04,826 --> 00:10:06,627
I'm just not ready for cookies!
198
00:10:06,694 --> 00:10:09,096
You know, I should
get back to the treadmill.
199
00:10:11,699 --> 00:10:15,135
He exercises so much,
but he looks the same.
200
00:10:15,203 --> 00:10:17,371
I guess the weight will
all come off at once,
201
00:10:17,438 --> 00:10:18,705
some day in the future.
202
00:10:18,773 --> 00:10:21,541
Don't you believe
anything Homer says.
203
00:10:21,609 --> 00:10:24,177
His first word was a lie.
204
00:10:24,245 --> 00:10:26,480
Who did this?
205
00:10:26,547 --> 00:10:27,514
Mommy.
206
00:10:27,582 --> 00:10:28,582
She did?!
207
00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:30,150
Then I'm gonna
withhold affection
208
00:10:30,218 --> 00:10:32,085
without telling her why.
209
00:10:44,148 --> 00:10:45,232
Huh?
210
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:47,534
Don't believe anything you were
211
00:10:47,585 --> 00:10:49,052
told by me in the past,
212
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:50,070
because that was not me.
213
00:10:50,138 --> 00:10:51,338
But this is me now.
214
00:10:51,406 --> 00:10:53,006
But in less than a second,
I'll be gone forever.
215
00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:56,226
I might be back!
216
00:10:59,747 --> 00:11:01,281
The lava being!
217
00:11:01,349 --> 00:11:05,152
That's why they showed a clip
of it on "previously on."
218
00:11:05,219 --> 00:11:06,386
Homer!
219
00:11:06,454 --> 00:11:08,622
You're using your
expensive new treadmill
220
00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:12,225
just to watch a show that went
off the air five years ago?
221
00:11:12,293 --> 00:11:14,428
And when I wanted
to watch it with you then,
222
00:11:14,495 --> 00:11:17,297
you said it was
pretentious and repetitive.
223
00:11:17,365 --> 00:11:20,701
Marge, there're so many
mysteries I need to have solved.
224
00:11:20,768 --> 00:11:24,087
Now, if the Korean couple
can't speak English,
225
00:11:24,155 --> 00:11:26,189
why were they doing
a crossword puzzle
226
00:11:26,257 --> 00:11:29,860
where the answer to 23 down was
"enigma" spelled backwards?
227
00:11:29,927 --> 00:11:31,361
What does it mean?
228
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:35,165
It means use the treadmill for
running or take it back!
229
00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:36,533
And where will I watch TV?
230
00:11:36,601 --> 00:11:38,301
On the TV!
231
00:11:38,369 --> 00:11:40,137
And where will I walk?!
232
00:11:40,204 --> 00:11:41,872
On the ground!
233
00:11:41,939 --> 00:11:44,741
- And where...
- This is the stupidest fight ever!
234
00:11:44,809 --> 00:11:46,476
We've had stupider!
235
00:11:46,544 --> 00:11:48,211
I don't think so.
236
00:11:49,881 --> 00:11:51,481
Hey, Fart-tholomew.
237
00:11:51,549 --> 00:11:54,785
You did a sweet job
watching my woman yesterday.
238
00:11:58,172 --> 00:11:59,940
So, what do you want to do now?
239
00:12:00,007 --> 00:12:02,609
Push you in
a puddle and run away.
240
00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:04,995
Maybe I should be
faithful to Jimbo.
241
00:12:05,062 --> 00:12:07,497
He's bought me a lot of gum
over the past couple months.
242
00:12:07,565 --> 00:12:09,433
Listen...
243
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:12,102
I could get wedgied for this,
but Jimbo's a jerk.
244
00:12:12,170 --> 00:12:13,603
You can do better.
245
00:12:13,671 --> 00:12:15,939
Wow. You told me
what's best for me...
246
00:12:16,007 --> 00:12:17,974
at risk to yourself.
247
00:12:18,042 --> 00:12:19,876
Come with me.
248
00:12:19,961 --> 00:12:22,495
Shauna, I forgot to
grope you goodbye.
249
00:12:30,505 --> 00:12:32,973
At last!
This episode promises
250
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,875
to finally answer one question.
251
00:12:34,942 --> 00:12:36,443
Whoo-ho-ho-ho...
252
00:12:36,511 --> 00:12:38,328
Homie!
253
00:12:38,396 --> 00:12:40,897
The kids are away
and Maggie's napping...
254
00:12:42,033 --> 00:12:44,184
Ooh, that's great.
255
00:12:44,252 --> 00:12:45,952
Can it wait another 104 hours?
256
00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:47,270
Oh!
257
00:12:47,338 --> 00:12:49,039
She walked away
258
00:12:49,106 --> 00:12:51,191
and slammed the door.
What does it mean?
259
00:12:51,259 --> 00:12:52,692
What does it mean?!
260
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,694
It means I'm mad!
261
00:12:54,762 --> 00:12:58,198
Oh, that's such a
first-take answer!
262
00:13:00,568 --> 00:13:03,854
♪ April ♪
263
00:13:03,921 --> 00:13:07,891
♪ Come she will ♪
264
00:13:07,959 --> 00:13:12,979
♪ When streams are ripe
and swelled with rain ♪
265
00:13:13,047 --> 00:13:17,150
♪ May she will stay... ♪
266
00:13:17,218 --> 00:13:19,603
This one's yours, Ralphie.
267
00:13:20,738 --> 00:13:24,774
♪ Resting in my arms again ♪
268
00:13:30,047 --> 00:13:34,234
♪ June ♪
269
00:13:34,285 --> 00:13:37,871
♪ She'll change your tune ♪
270
00:13:37,939 --> 00:13:42,776
♪ In restless walks,
she'll prowl the night ♪
271
00:13:42,844 --> 00:13:49,432
♪ July she will fly ♪
272
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:55,288
♪ And give no warning
to her flight... ♪
273
00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:59,476
Simpson, I guess you don't
have much respect for me.
274
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:02,629
Well, who wears
a wool hat to a pool?
275
00:14:07,134 --> 00:14:08,201
It's not fair!
276
00:14:08,269 --> 00:14:10,136
You know that's hilarious!
277
00:14:14,125 --> 00:14:16,092
No horseplay in the pool area.
278
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:19,713
This isn't play;
This is some serious payback.
279
00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:21,781
Well, that's, um...
280
00:14:21,849 --> 00:14:23,717
All right, you may
have found a loophole.
281
00:14:23,784 --> 00:14:24,985
All right, I better check.
282
00:14:25,052 --> 00:14:26,720
Hello, Abby?
283
00:14:26,787 --> 00:14:29,823
I'm not calling about
the shift change! God!
284
00:14:29,891 --> 00:14:31,291
But, well, since
you bring it up,
285
00:14:31,359 --> 00:14:33,393
if there's a way to flip
Saturday with next Wednesday...
286
00:14:33,461 --> 00:14:36,162
Simpson, prepare to...
287
00:14:37,331 --> 00:14:38,932
Hey, no running on the deck!
288
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,333
I'm on the grass apron!
289
00:14:42,036 --> 00:14:46,295
Huh? Ugh, everyone's
a swimming pool lawyer.
290
00:15:11,791 --> 00:15:14,189
Oh thank God, mom will
pound them.
291
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:17,387
Why if it isn't Jimbo, Dorf
and Ernie.
292
00:15:20,318 --> 00:15:21,602
Bart's not home yet.
293
00:15:21,627 --> 00:15:24,822
But I'm always looking to
encourage non-Milhouse play dates.
294
00:15:24,847 --> 00:15:26,082
Stick around.
295
00:15:26,107 --> 00:15:27,307
Oh...
296
00:15:27,332 --> 00:15:28,573
Hey Bart!
297
00:15:28,598 --> 00:15:29,858
Oh, it's you.
298
00:15:30,558 --> 00:15:33,090
Why do men always
think with their tongue?
299
00:15:33,115 --> 00:15:34,315
I came to help you.
300
00:15:34,515 --> 00:15:37,677
Then go back to Jimbo, and show
him every boob you've got.
301
00:15:37,702 --> 00:15:41,039
But you told me he was a jerk,
and I that I could do better.
302
00:15:44,154 --> 00:15:45,654
Oh...
303
00:15:45,722 --> 00:15:46,755
All right.
304
00:15:46,823 --> 00:15:48,891
Follow me to a place
where nerds,
305
00:15:48,958 --> 00:15:50,592
dorks and dweebs can
gather in safety.
306
00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:54,680
This isn't, like, some creepy
place under an off-ramp?
307
00:15:54,747 --> 00:15:56,615
Okay, we'll go
to my second choice.
308
00:15:57,884 --> 00:16:00,486
Now you be careful
with Bart's undies.
309
00:16:00,553 --> 00:16:02,821
We will, Mrs. Simpson.
310
00:16:04,457 --> 00:16:06,425
Think of this as your
personal Asgard,
311
00:16:06,493 --> 00:16:09,661
and I, the all-seeing Heimdall,
guardian of the gate.
312
00:16:09,729 --> 00:16:11,096
All-seeing?
313
00:16:11,164 --> 00:16:13,499
Yeah, when's the last time
you saw your feet?
314
00:16:13,566 --> 00:16:14,933
Oh, that's it!
315
00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:17,118
Fellow bullies, I've got them!
316
00:16:17,170 --> 00:16:19,588
We'll be right there.
317
00:16:19,656 --> 00:16:21,006
You're a bully?
318
00:16:21,074 --> 00:16:22,341
A cyber bully.
319
00:16:22,408 --> 00:16:23,909
Anything I do,
it is important that
320
00:16:23,977 --> 00:16:25,410
I can lie down while doing it.
321
00:16:25,478 --> 00:16:26,879
Huh?
322
00:16:26,946 --> 00:16:29,181
You just got yourself
in a flame war...
323
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:31,750
with a teenage girl.
324
00:16:31,818 --> 00:16:33,585
Oh, flame on!
325
00:16:42,729 --> 00:16:44,329
Oh! Oh!
326
00:16:44,397 --> 00:16:47,866
You have cloven me from my
ponytail to my slipper shoe!
327
00:16:47,934 --> 00:16:49,268
Get out!
328
00:16:49,335 --> 00:16:50,769
And never return!
329
00:16:50,837 --> 00:16:52,704
Oh, unless you want to
buy old Archie comics.
330
00:16:52,772 --> 00:16:54,406
20 pound bricks are a dollar.
331
00:16:57,177 --> 00:17:00,913
Thank you all for coming to
my Stranded discussion group.
332
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:02,481
Hey, I loved that show.
333
00:17:02,549 --> 00:17:04,249
Wasn't it awesome when
Colonel Darkwater...
334
00:17:04,317 --> 00:17:05,934
Spoiler alert!
335
00:17:06,002 --> 00:17:07,769
I've only seen up to
season three,
336
00:17:07,837 --> 00:17:10,405
"Coconut Cream Die."
337
00:17:10,473 --> 00:17:13,876
So you don't know that season
five was a complete wank?
338
00:17:13,943 --> 00:17:15,310
Spoiler!
339
00:17:15,378 --> 00:17:16,845
Homer, calm down.
340
00:17:16,913 --> 00:17:19,448
It's not like any of this stuff
really took place.
341
00:17:21,217 --> 00:17:22,718
Spoiler!
342
00:17:22,785 --> 00:17:24,453
Homer, for God sakes,
343
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,822
I'm trying to put
Maggie to sleep.
344
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:28,824
I'm sorry, sweetie.
345
00:17:28,892 --> 00:17:31,527
It's a Strandie
discussion group.
346
00:17:31,594 --> 00:17:32,828
Yes, it is!
347
00:17:32,896 --> 00:17:35,163
We discuss why airplane
go crash-crash
348
00:17:35,231 --> 00:17:37,516
but people don't die-die.
349
00:17:37,584 --> 00:17:39,685
You wanna know what happens
on your stupid show?
350
00:17:39,752 --> 00:17:41,620
Firstly, the "mysterious island"
351
00:17:41,688 --> 00:17:43,889
is 15 miles from Long Beach.
352
00:17:43,957 --> 00:17:46,191
Al, Doorway Three led to Hell
353
00:17:46,259 --> 00:17:48,794
despite the series creators'
repeated insistence
354
00:17:48,861 --> 00:17:51,964
it did not lead to Hell,
and the entire Strandiverse,
355
00:17:52,031 --> 00:17:55,200
is a piece of gravel
in a cosmic kitty litter box!
356
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:57,469
Thanks, Marge.
357
00:17:57,537 --> 00:18:00,072
You ruined my show.
358
00:18:00,139 --> 00:18:02,874
Now, I'm going to
give you a spoiler
359
00:18:02,942 --> 00:18:06,878
It's not great right now.
360
00:18:08,715 --> 00:18:10,415
Well, since this is a
discussion group,
361
00:18:10,483 --> 00:18:11,817
let's discuss.
362
00:18:11,884 --> 00:18:13,452
I think they're having a spat.
363
00:18:13,519 --> 00:18:14,886
I'd say it's more of a tiff.
364
00:18:14,954 --> 00:18:16,488
Oh, so I'm a moron, am I?
365
00:18:16,556 --> 00:18:18,290
Fellas, fellas,
I know where this is going.
366
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:21,727
Give me all your weapons now.
367
00:18:23,863 --> 00:18:27,199
Now it's time to talk about
what Carl wants.
368
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:41,169
Oh, man, they have every
entrance covered.
369
00:18:41,237 --> 00:18:43,405
You'd have to be a
Navy SEAL to get in or out.
370
00:18:43,433 --> 00:18:44,733
Hello, lovebirds.
371
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:45,934
Whoa!
372
00:18:46,002 --> 00:18:47,534
What are you doing here?
373
00:18:47,535 --> 00:18:50,454
I've been following your
storyline from afar, Bart,
374
00:18:50,522 --> 00:18:52,123
waiting for that
inevitable point
375
00:18:52,190 --> 00:18:54,158
where you get into trouble
you couldn't get out of.
376
00:18:54,226 --> 00:18:56,360
Perhaps I could
broker a settlement.
377
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,429
Well, that's my boyfriend,
but he's a wad.
378
00:18:58,497 --> 00:19:00,214
And your brother's
not a wad, he's a dink
379
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:01,849
on the road to doofus.
380
00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:03,317
Here, here.
381
00:19:03,385 --> 00:19:04,985
Ow.
382
00:19:05,053 --> 00:19:07,955
The lamb has returned
to the slaughter.
383
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:09,557
Whoa, you should
write that down, man.
384
00:19:09,624 --> 00:19:10,925
I'll remember it.
385
00:19:12,577 --> 00:19:14,712
I don't think Shauna
should choose any of you.
386
00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:17,148
Shauna should choose Shauna.
387
00:19:17,215 --> 00:19:19,316
Your older sister's right, Bart.
388
00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:20,835
You don't want me?
389
00:19:20,902 --> 00:19:22,770
I want to find out who I am.
390
00:19:22,838 --> 00:19:24,332
And that's something only
391
00:19:24,368 --> 00:19:27,057
an inappropriately
older man can tell me.
392
00:19:27,175 --> 00:19:30,711
Well, that is one
lucky creepy guy.
393
00:19:30,779 --> 00:19:33,417
Lisa, are you
out there in your slippers?
394
00:19:33,487 --> 00:19:34,681
Come inside!
395
00:19:34,712 --> 00:19:36,929
Well, Bart, I guess
that's our cue to skedaddle...
396
00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:38,886
Not so fast, Simpson...
397
00:19:38,954 --> 00:19:41,288
Uh, what was that thing
I was gonna do to him?
398
00:19:41,356 --> 00:19:43,157
Told you you should've
written it down.
399
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:46,143
If I wrote down everything
you told me to write down,
400
00:19:46,211 --> 00:19:48,479
I'd have no time for punching.
401
00:19:48,547 --> 00:19:50,448
Whoa, you should
write that down, man.
402
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:54,568
Lousy Marge...
403
00:19:54,619 --> 00:19:56,904
ruining the delicate
relationship
404
00:19:56,955 --> 00:19:58,939
between a man and his TV show.
405
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:02,927
I'd tell my best friend,
but that's Marge too.
406
00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:05,529
Homie, come in the bedroom.
407
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:13,053
Care to join me in a private
last episode party?
408
00:20:13,121 --> 00:20:15,239
Well...
409
00:20:15,307 --> 00:20:16,707
It's okay, Dad.
410
00:20:16,775 --> 00:20:18,509
He's just putting
the fear of God in me.
411
00:20:18,577 --> 00:20:20,244
Okay, but if this house
starts a-rockin',
412
00:20:20,312 --> 00:20:21,946
don't come a-knockin'.
413
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,981
Have a wonderful evening, sir.
414
00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:46,554
Purr-plexing, isn't it?
- D'oh!
415
00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:50,621
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
416
00:21:32,531 --> 00:21:33,731
Shh!