1
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:07,360
Howard Wolowitz.
2
00:00:07,362 --> 00:00:09,529
Hey, Howard.
Dave Roeger here at NASA.
3
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,814
We need to talk
about your upcoming mission.
4
00:00:11,816 --> 00:00:15,835
Yes, yes, I've been doing
my push-ups.
5
00:00:15,837 --> 00:00:18,955
I'm still stuck at nine, but...
6
00:00:21,158 --> 00:00:24,961
...that's going all the way down
with no one holding me.
7
00:00:24,963 --> 00:00:27,464
That's great, uh,
but that's not why I called.
8
00:00:27,466 --> 00:00:29,599
We've run into a bit of a snafu.
9
00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:32,101
Your Soyuz capsule failed
the pressurization test,
10
00:00:32,103 --> 00:00:35,688
so bottom line,
mission's been scrubbed.
11
00:00:37,441 --> 00:00:40,543
You're kidding.
So what does that mean?
12
00:00:40,545 --> 00:00:43,480
Uh-huh.
13
00:00:43,482 --> 00:00:45,231
Uh-huh.
14
00:00:45,233 --> 00:00:47,250
Boy, I got to tell you,
15
00:00:47,252 --> 00:00:48,902
I'm really disappointed.
16
00:00:48,904 --> 00:00:50,370
This was my dream
17
00:00:50,372 --> 00:00:53,490
ever since I was a little kid.
18
00:00:53,492 --> 00:00:55,241
Okay, well, uh,
19
00:00:55,243 --> 00:00:57,277
thanks for the call.
20
00:00:57,279 --> 00:00:59,963
Yep, you, too.
21
00:00:59,965 --> 00:01:01,697
Yes! Thank you!
22
00:01:01,699 --> 00:01:05,201
Oh! Oh...
23
00:01:05,203 --> 00:01:07,554
I'm not gonna die in space!
24
00:01:09,341 --> 00:01:11,724
I'm gonna die
the way God intended,
25
00:01:11,726 --> 00:01:15,094
in my late 50s,
with a heart full of pastrami.
26
00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:19,399
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
27
00:01:19,401 --> 00:01:23,203
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
28
00:01:23,205 --> 00:01:24,737
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
29
00:01:24,739 --> 00:01:27,674
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
30
00:01:27,676 --> 00:01:29,692
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
31
00:01:29,694 --> 00:01:32,445
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
32
00:01:32,447 --> 00:01:34,547
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
33
00:01:34,549 --> 00:01:36,516
♪ Bang! ♪
34
00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:40,517
The Big Bang Theory 5x23
The Launch Acceleration
Original Air Date on May 3, 2012
35
00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:44,518
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
36
00:01:45,696 --> 00:01:48,665
I'm going to need
a larger shirt.
37
00:01:51,886 --> 00:01:54,254
This one's a little tight
under the arms.
38
00:01:54,256 --> 00:01:55,722
Okay.
39
00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:57,090
Do you think maybe it's tight
40
00:01:57,092 --> 00:01:58,558
because you're wearing
long underwear?
41
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:00,744
Yes, of course
that's why it's tight.
44
00:02:05,799 --> 00:02:07,165
You're kidding.
45
00:02:07,167 --> 00:02:10,201
Shouldn't the question be:
why aren't you?
46
00:02:10,203 --> 00:02:14,689
No, it should be: why are you?
Leonard,
47
00:02:14,691 --> 00:02:16,858
these rental tuxedos have been
48
00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:18,993
worn by hundreds
of sweaty strangers.
49
00:02:19,789 --> 00:02:21,973
I don't like my own sweat
touching my skin,
50
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,125
how do you think
I feel about theirs?
51
00:02:24,910 --> 00:02:26,828
Why don't you
slip this on?
52
00:02:26,830 --> 00:02:28,963
Said the hangman
offering a noose.
53
00:02:30,199 --> 00:02:31,916
Well, that wasn't
as entertaining
54
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:33,618
as when he rents bowling shoes,
55
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,537
but it was right up there.
56
00:02:35,539 --> 00:02:37,689
Well, that's it.
57
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,457
My orders have been rescinded.
58
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:41,826
I am officially "no go"
to space.
59
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,045
I'm sorry, Howard,
but I got to tell you,
60
00:02:44,047 --> 00:02:46,014
I'm a little relieved
you're not going.
61
00:02:46,016 --> 00:02:47,164
Why?
62
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:49,166
Come on, you were
gonna go up in a rocket
63
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:51,302
designed in the 1960s
by the Russians.
64
00:02:51,304 --> 00:02:52,637
Yeah, so?
65
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,639
When was the last time
you were at Best Buy
66
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,841
and you heard someone say, "Ooh,
check out this Blu-ray player,
67
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,227
it must be good,
it was built in Russia"?
68
00:03:01,063 --> 00:03:03,398
Well, their technology
isn't that bad.
69
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,734
When you come back to Earth
in a Soyuz capsule, you free-fall
70
00:03:06,736 --> 00:03:08,703
from space
at 500 miles per hour,
71
00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:10,705
and the only thing
that slows you down
72
00:03:10,707 --> 00:03:12,490
is a little parachute
that pops out
73
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,208
right before you crash
into the ground.
74
00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:15,693
And the whole thing
was designed
75
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:18,246
by the same brilliant minds
who were unable to capture
76
00:03:18,248 --> 00:03:20,331
Rocky and Bullwinkle.
77
00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:23,367
All right, well, whatever.
78
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:24,586
I wasn't worried.
79
00:03:24,588 --> 00:03:25,720
You weren't?
80
00:03:25,722 --> 00:03:29,340
Let me explain the difference
between you and me.
81
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:30,725
You watch
82
00:03:30,727 --> 00:03:33,311
Star Trek; I live it.
83
00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:37,565
Oh, please. I don't remember
the episode of Star Trek
84
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:39,183
where the guy
never goes to space
85
00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:41,886
and brags about it
in a tuxedo store.
86
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,271
Make all the jokes you want,
87
00:03:43,273 --> 00:03:45,389
but there's only
one of us here brave enough
88
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,742
to almost do
what I almost did.
89
00:03:47,744 --> 00:03:50,895
Ah, much better.
90
00:03:53,282 --> 00:03:55,166
You must be burning up.
91
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:57,669
A little. But not more
than your urethras
92
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:00,622
will be after whatever's
in those pants swims up them.
93
00:04:03,125 --> 00:04:04,459
Well...
94
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:08,179
I cut quite the dashing,
yet hygienic figure, don't I?
95
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:12,433
I look like the Flash
about to get married.
96
00:04:14,470 --> 00:04:16,220
Oh! A tissue! A tissue!
97
00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:17,639
Oh, good Lord!
98
00:04:17,641 --> 00:04:19,857
Uh, where's he going?
99
00:04:19,859 --> 00:04:22,226
He keeps emergency
Purell in the car.
100
00:04:22,228 --> 00:04:23,778
Keys! Keys! Keys!
101
00:04:27,933 --> 00:04:29,484
Hey, you.
Before I come in,
102
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:32,770
you should know, I have gas.
103
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:36,124
For the record,
not your worst opening line.
104
00:04:36,126 --> 00:04:38,026
Check it out.
It's the gas I use
105
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:40,294
in my free-electron laser
to support high voltages.
106
00:04:40,296 --> 00:04:43,581
But it also has an
interesting secondary use.
107
00:04:45,168 --> 00:04:46,751
Here. Breathe this in.
108
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:50,621
B-Before I do it, if you're
a cop you have tell me, right?
109
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,640
Just try it.
110
00:04:52,642 --> 00:04:53,808
Okay.
111
00:04:55,345 --> 00:04:57,645
What's it supposed to...
112
00:04:57,647 --> 00:04:59,630
Oh, my God, that's so freaky!
113
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,436
♪ You're a mean one ♪
114
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:07,739
♪ Mr. Grinch. ♪
115
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,607
Okay. Me, me, me. Ready?
116
00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:13,411
Leonard, I am your father.
117
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,915
I have never been
more attracted to a woman
118
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:19,667
who sounds like a man
in my life.
119
00:05:19,669 --> 00:05:21,452
Oh...
120
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:23,538
Mm.
121
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:27,842
Hey... you know
how we've been...
122
00:05:27,844 --> 00:05:30,712
taking things slow?
Mm-hmm.
123
00:05:30,714 --> 00:05:32,597
Well, I've been thinking, and...
124
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:34,498
maybe I'm ready to...
125
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,884
take things a little... faster.
126
00:05:36,886 --> 00:05:38,386
Oh...
127
00:05:38,388 --> 00:05:39,554
great.
Mm-hmm.
128
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,639
And I promise,
after waiting four months,
129
00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:44,959
fast is what you're gonna get.
130
00:05:45,844 --> 00:05:47,511
You know, just-just one thing.
131
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:49,397
Look, we're in a really
great place right now,
132
00:05:49,399 --> 00:05:50,698
and I don't want to do anything
133
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,366
that will make stuff
all weird again.
134
00:05:52,368 --> 00:05:54,235
So we won't let it get weird.
135
00:05:54,237 --> 00:05:55,653
Okay. Oh, and just a heads-up...
136
00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:57,855
mm, since the last time
you saw me naked,
137
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,490
I got a Cookie Monster tattoo.
138
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:02,126
The acceptable responses
when you see it
139
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:03,828
are "awesome" or nothing.
140
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,997
What about...
141
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,865
Cookies!
142
00:06:13,188 --> 00:06:14,972
Amy?
143
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,257
Amy?
144
00:06:16,259 --> 00:06:18,509
Amy?
145
00:06:20,045 --> 00:06:21,729
7:00, right on time.
146
00:06:21,731 --> 00:06:24,098
It's not an accident.
147
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,717
I waited outside your door
for 20 minutes.
148
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,903
Well, dinner's almost ready.
149
00:06:28,905 --> 00:06:30,321
I must say,
150
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,889
I was surprised
you chose to spend
151
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,407
our date night
in your apartment.
152
00:06:33,409 --> 00:06:34,776
As I mentioned,
153
00:06:34,778 --> 00:06:39,063
the Pasadena City Council is
debating longer crosswalk times,
154
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:42,366
and later, the LEGO store is
having a midnight madness sale.
155
00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:43,734
You ask anyone,
156
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:45,119
that's a hot date.
157
00:06:45,121 --> 00:06:48,172
Tempting choices,
but I have something special
158
00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:49,406
planned for tonight.
159
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,075
What can be more special
than having
160
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,377
an adequate amount of time
to cross the street
161
00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:56,914
on your way to buy
a tiny LEGO Indiana Jones?
162
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,350
With our friends moving forward
in their relationships,
163
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:02,553
I've decided that we should
make progress in ours as well.
164
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:04,605
Oh, dear Lord.
165
00:07:04,607 --> 00:07:07,358
Two years ago,
we didn't even know each other,
166
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,611
and now I'm
in your apartment after dark.
167
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,431
How much faster
can this thing go?
168
00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:16,234
I had a feeling
you'd be reluctant,
169
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,152
which is why
I'm going to dip
170
00:07:18,154 --> 00:07:19,904
into my neurobiological
bag of tricks.
171
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:23,474
Oh, you brain monkeys
kill me. Dip away.
172
00:07:24,326 --> 00:07:25,609
I have devised
173
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,495
an experiment that
I believe will increase
174
00:07:27,497 --> 00:07:30,047
your feelings for me
in an accelerated time frame.
175
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:32,283
And how do you propose
to do that?
176
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,584
Uh, hope you're not thinking
177
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:36,170
about some sort
of LSD thought control.
178
00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:37,421
Because there's
179
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:39,640
only one mind-expanding drug
that this man enjoys,
180
00:07:39,642 --> 00:07:41,625
and that's called school.
181
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:45,263
Human beings form emotional
attachments as they grow up.
182
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:48,349
In your case, to your mother,
superheroes, et cetera.
183
00:07:48,351 --> 00:07:49,466
I'm going to attempt
184
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:51,819
an experiment that will
get you to transfer
185
00:07:51,821 --> 00:07:53,487
those feelings to me.
186
00:07:53,489 --> 00:07:54,605
Well,
187
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:56,240
seems what's on the menu tonight
188
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:59,410
is malarkey with
a big side of poppycock.
189
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:00,912
We'll see.
190
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:04,498
Let's start with a little
romantic dinner music, shall we?
191
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,987
Super Mario Bros. theme?
192
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,172
Yes.
193
00:08:11,174 --> 00:08:13,824
I see what you're doing.
194
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,459
You're attempting
to build on the work
195
00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:16,677
of Ebbinghaus by triggering
196
00:08:16,679 --> 00:08:19,630
an involuntary memory
of me playing that game--
197
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:23,184
admittedly the happiest
600 hours of my childhood...
198
00:08:24,136 --> 00:08:25,269
...but it won't work.
199
00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:27,104
Fine. There's no reason
we still can't have
200
00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:29,140
a lovely dinner.
Why don't you have a seat.
201
00:08:31,828 --> 00:08:33,861
Boink! Boink!
202
00:08:35,314 --> 00:08:37,398
May I offer you
something to drink?
203
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,983
You know I don't drink.
204
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,234
Not even...
205
00:08:40,236 --> 00:08:41,485
strawberry Quik?
206
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,740
I love strawberry Quik.
207
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:48,910
It's my favorite
pink fluid,
208
00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:51,996
narrowly beating out
Pepto-Bismol.
209
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:54,165
Oh, I know.
210
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,967
I think it will go nicely
211
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,785
with what I have prepared...
212
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,253
for dinner.
213
00:08:59,255 --> 00:09:03,257
Spaghetti with little pieces
of hot dog cut up in it!
214
00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:04,429
Just like your mommy
used to make.
215
00:09:04,454 --> 00:09:05,477
Oh...
216
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,145
yummy, yummy!
217
00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:11,148
We should do this more often.
218
00:09:17,689 --> 00:09:19,824
Uh-oh.
219
00:09:22,077 --> 00:09:23,227
I'm sorry. I did,
220
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,779
I crossed a line.
I didn't mean to!
221
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,664
Who says something
like that right in the middle
222
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,032
of sex?!
I don't know,
223
00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:30,067
it just came out.
People say weird things
224
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,419
during sex all the time.
225
00:09:31,421 --> 00:09:33,788
Okay, well, they
sure as hell don't say that.
226
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,456
It was the heat of the moment.
No,
227
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:38,075
the heat of the moment is,
"Ooh, yeah, just like that,"
228
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,861
not "will you marry me?"
229
00:09:41,746 --> 00:09:43,097
I'm sorry.
230
00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:44,799
Just-just give me
another chance.
231
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,600
Why, so you can crawl
under the covers and go,
232
00:09:46,602 --> 00:09:48,102
"Hey, baby,
want to go look for houses
233
00:09:48,104 --> 00:09:50,888
in neighborhoods
with good schools?"
234
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:53,107
Again, I'm sorry.
235
00:09:53,109 --> 00:09:55,359
You know, with Howard
and Bernadette getting married,
236
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:57,761
I got caught up
in a little wedding fever.
237
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,397
I take it back.
You can't
238
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:00,648
take something like that back.
239
00:10:00,650 --> 00:10:03,100
I mean, what are we
even supposed to do now?
240
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,820
Okay, at some point,
we'll look back
241
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:08,990
and this is going
to be a funny story.
242
00:10:08,992 --> 00:10:11,442
Why don't we just
start doing that now?
243
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,294
You're kidding.
No.
244
00:10:13,296 --> 00:10:16,464
Hey, do you remember...
245
00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:20,217
...that time when I proposed
246
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:23,087
to you in bed?
247
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:26,590
And you were all, like,
"What are you doing?"
248
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,727
That was so funny.
249
00:10:30,612 --> 00:10:33,798
So funny.
250
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,099
It's not funny.
251
00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:38,085
Give it a minute.
252
00:10:38,887 --> 00:10:41,772
Is that a little smile
I see there?
253
00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:45,259
I should go.
254
00:10:46,478 --> 00:10:48,195
Hey, I was thinking.
255
00:10:48,197 --> 00:10:50,147
For our first dance
at the wedding,
256
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:54,035
what if we learn the final number
from Dirty Dancing?
257
00:10:54,037 --> 00:10:56,454
You're kidding.
No,
258
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,821
come on.
259
00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,273
How cool would that be?
260
00:10:59,275 --> 00:11:03,194
Me running
into your arms...
261
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,496
you lifting me up
into the air.
262
00:11:06,831 --> 00:11:09,266
Oh, you're in a good mood.
263
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:10,634
Yeah, well, why
wouldn't I be?
264
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:13,054
You know, I'm marrying
the girl of my dreams,
265
00:11:13,056 --> 00:11:14,805
and I finally got
my mother to agree
266
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:17,224
not to come on
our honeymoon.
267
00:11:18,009 --> 00:11:20,344
Oh, hang on.
268
00:11:21,196 --> 00:11:22,396
Oh, it's NASA.
269
00:11:23,565 --> 00:11:24,899
Wolowitz.
270
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:27,802
Oh! Hi, Dave.
What's up?
271
00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:31,872
No kidding. Really?
272
00:11:31,874 --> 00:11:33,023
Well,
273
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:36,660
that's... great news.
274
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:39,530
Great, great news.
275
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,916
All right, I'll watch my e-mail
276
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,301
for the details.
277
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:46,470
Okay, talk soon.
278
00:11:47,906 --> 00:11:49,006
What's so great?
279
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:52,309
It looks like I'm going
into space after all.
280
00:11:53,596 --> 00:11:56,180
Oh, Howie,
that's wonderful!
281
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:58,349
Uh-huh, wonderful.
282
00:11:59,267 --> 00:12:02,770
Yay...
283
00:12:08,552 --> 00:12:10,136
What happened?
I thought
284
00:12:10,138 --> 00:12:12,305
they canceled your mission.
Th-They did.
285
00:12:12,307 --> 00:12:14,507
But NASA really wants
286
00:12:14,509 --> 00:12:16,893
my telescope up
on the space station,
287
00:12:16,895 --> 00:12:19,762
so they're putting me
on an earlier launch.
288
00:12:19,764 --> 00:12:21,764
When?
A...
289
00:12:21,766 --> 00:12:24,066
week from Friday.
290
00:12:24,068 --> 00:12:26,936
What? We're getting
married that Sunday.
291
00:12:28,005 --> 00:12:29,171
You're right!
292
00:12:29,173 --> 00:12:30,806
I-I can't go to space.
293
00:12:30,808 --> 00:12:33,309
I have to get married,
and no one can say
294
00:12:33,311 --> 00:12:35,661
that's not a good reason.
I'll call him back.
295
00:12:37,698 --> 00:12:39,332
Wait. I don't want to be
296
00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:41,150
the one who stands
in your way.
297
00:12:41,152 --> 00:12:42,985
Well, too bad, you already did.
It's a done deal.
298
00:12:42,987 --> 00:12:45,087
Oh, well.
But I forgive you.
299
00:12:45,089 --> 00:12:47,323
No. That's not how I want
to start our marriage,
300
00:12:47,325 --> 00:12:48,708
killing your dream?
301
00:12:48,710 --> 00:12:50,626
We'll have the wedding
when you get back.
302
00:12:50,628 --> 00:12:52,128
But wh-what about
303
00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:55,197
all the plans
and the guests?
304
00:12:55,199 --> 00:12:56,299
We'll call them.
305
00:12:56,301 --> 00:12:58,267
Although my dad's
gonna go a little nutso
306
00:12:58,269 --> 00:13:00,353
over losing his deposits.
307
00:13:00,355 --> 00:13:04,273
You're right, he is!
308
00:13:04,275 --> 00:13:06,025
Your dad's gonna be furious.
309
00:13:06,027 --> 00:13:08,861
There's no way he's
gonna let us postpone this wedding.
310
00:13:08,863 --> 00:13:10,296
Well, we tried.
311
00:13:11,698 --> 00:13:12,949
I'll talk to him.
312
00:13:12,951 --> 00:13:15,517
He won't say no to his little girl.
No!
313
00:13:15,519 --> 00:13:18,354
I-I should talk to him,
314
00:13:18,356 --> 00:13:19,822
man to man.
315
00:13:19,824 --> 00:13:21,657
But, Howie, my dad
can be a bully.
316
00:13:21,659 --> 00:13:23,659
He's gonna make you cancel
your space flight.
317
00:13:23,661 --> 00:13:24,994
We can only hope...
318
00:13:24,996 --> 00:13:27,113
that he doesn't.
319
00:13:28,332 --> 00:13:32,534
Bishop to queen four,
320
00:13:32,536 --> 00:13:34,236
level two.
321
00:13:34,238 --> 00:13:36,172
Check.
322
00:13:36,174 --> 00:13:37,840
Sheldon...
323
00:13:37,842 --> 00:13:39,475
knight takes bishop.
324
00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:41,344
You all right?
325
00:13:41,346 --> 00:13:43,512
I'm fine.
326
00:13:44,514 --> 00:13:45,648
Are you?
327
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,883
You left your queen
exposed from above,
328
00:13:47,885 --> 00:13:49,602
you trapped your
knight in the corner,
329
00:13:49,604 --> 00:13:53,122
and you keep sighing
and saying, "Why me?"
330
00:13:54,776 --> 00:13:56,275
Very well.
331
00:13:56,277 --> 00:13:59,395
Can I ask you
a question about women?
332
00:14:00,364 --> 00:14:02,698
We got you that book last year.
333
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:04,583
Wasn't everything in there?
334
00:14:04,585 --> 00:14:08,537
No, I'm having
a relationship problem with Amy.
335
00:14:08,539 --> 00:14:09,505
And by the way,
336
00:14:09,507 --> 00:14:11,824
that book gave me nightmares.
337
00:14:11,826 --> 00:14:14,627
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
338
00:14:14,629 --> 00:14:17,380
I screwed things up
pretty good with Penny.
339
00:14:17,382 --> 00:14:19,882
Look at us,
Leonard...
340
00:14:19,884 --> 00:14:22,685
engaging in the social
convention of men bellyaching
341
00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:24,804
about their ol' ladies.
342
00:14:24,806 --> 00:14:26,939
I guess we are.
343
00:14:26,941 --> 00:14:29,775
So, what's going on?
344
00:14:29,777 --> 00:14:31,427
Believe it or not,
345
00:14:31,429 --> 00:14:33,863
Amy has embarked on a campaign
346
00:14:33,865 --> 00:14:39,768
to increase my feelings
for her by making me happy.
347
00:14:39,770 --> 00:14:43,823
I'm sorry, that must be very
difficult for you.
348
00:14:43,825 --> 00:14:45,825
It's awful.
349
00:14:45,827 --> 00:14:47,827
This morning,
she arranged for me
350
00:14:47,829 --> 00:14:50,446
to be an Amtrak junior conductor
for the day.
351
00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:51,580
It-It's usually
352
00:14:51,582 --> 00:14:52,798
only open to children.
353
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,801
She got them
to make an exception.
354
00:14:55,803 --> 00:14:58,220
Shame on her.
355
00:14:58,222 --> 00:15:01,173
They let me
blow the whistle, Leonard.
356
00:15:01,175 --> 00:15:04,293
She's good.
357
00:15:04,295 --> 00:15:05,227
I know.
358
00:15:05,229 --> 00:15:06,929
And it gets worse.
359
00:15:06,931 --> 00:15:08,814
Her efforts are causing me
360
00:15:08,816 --> 00:15:11,133
to have affectionate
feelings for her
361
00:15:11,135 --> 00:15:14,270
at inappropriate times.
362
00:15:15,405 --> 00:15:19,075
You mean, like in bed
or in the shower?
363
00:15:19,077 --> 00:15:20,409
No!
364
00:15:20,411 --> 00:15:23,662
Would you please stop
referencing that infernal book?
365
00:15:24,815 --> 00:15:26,782
For example, this morning,
366
00:15:26,784 --> 00:15:29,034
I was calculating
the random motion
367
00:15:29,036 --> 00:15:31,003
of virtual particles
in a vacuum,
368
00:15:31,005 --> 00:15:33,839
when suddenly
the particles morphed
369
00:15:33,841 --> 00:15:37,376
into an image
of Amy's dandruff...
370
00:15:40,647 --> 00:15:42,264
...gently cascading down
371
00:15:42,266 --> 00:15:46,001
onto her pale,
slightly hunched shoulders.
372
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:50,606
What has that vixen
done to me, Leonard?
373
00:15:50,608 --> 00:15:52,374
And how do I make it stop?
374
00:15:52,376 --> 00:15:54,743
Well, if you had
a physical relationship,
375
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:56,612
I'd say propose during sex.
376
00:15:56,614 --> 00:15:59,932
Turns out that's
a real mood kill.
377
00:15:59,934 --> 00:16:01,700
I assume we're talking
about you now?
378
00:16:01,702 --> 00:16:02,685
Yeah.
379
00:16:02,687 --> 00:16:03,852
So, that's
how this works?
380
00:16:03,854 --> 00:16:06,188
I complain,
and then you complain,
381
00:16:06,190 --> 00:16:08,857
and no one offers any solutions?
382
00:16:08,859 --> 00:16:11,694
Pretty much.
383
00:16:11,696 --> 00:16:14,863
Well, no wonder
the women are winning.
384
00:16:18,336 --> 00:16:20,836
Mr. Rostenkowski,
are you busy?
385
00:16:20,838 --> 00:16:23,539
Oh, just looking at some
old pictures. Come on in.
386
00:16:23,541 --> 00:16:25,090
Family pictures,
or...?
387
00:16:25,092 --> 00:16:28,377
H-Holy crap, that's
a dead person.
388
00:16:28,379 --> 00:16:31,564
Last murder case
before I retired.
389
00:16:31,566 --> 00:16:33,599
How many bodies
do you see there?
390
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:34,717
Careful,
391
00:16:34,719 --> 00:16:37,086
it's a trick question.
392
00:16:37,088 --> 00:16:39,271
I'm not sure.
393
00:16:39,273 --> 00:16:40,656
Nah, you'll never get it.
394
00:16:40,658 --> 00:16:43,442
It's a fraction.
395
00:16:43,444 --> 00:16:45,611
How about that.
396
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:46,745
Anyway,
397
00:16:46,747 --> 00:16:49,231
sir, I need to talk
to you about something.
398
00:16:50,334 --> 00:16:52,001
Walnut?
399
00:16:52,003 --> 00:16:53,702
No, thank you.
400
00:16:53,704 --> 00:16:55,037
I'm allergic.
401
00:16:55,039 --> 00:16:56,738
Oh, sure.
402
00:16:56,740 --> 00:16:59,091
My partner used to have that.
403
00:16:59,093 --> 00:17:00,742
He's dead now.
404
00:17:02,295 --> 00:17:03,762
From nuts?
405
00:17:03,764 --> 00:17:05,447
Nah, his wife shot him.
406
00:17:06,266 --> 00:17:10,202
But she was nuts,
so in a way...
407
00:17:11,188 --> 00:17:12,471
Nice story.
408
00:17:12,473 --> 00:17:14,139
Anyway,
409
00:17:14,141 --> 00:17:16,592
the reason I wanted
to talk to you is
410
00:17:16,594 --> 00:17:19,278
NASA has moved up
my launch
411
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,530
to the International
Space Station.
412
00:17:21,532 --> 00:17:23,365
Yeah, so?
So...
413
00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:25,868
the date is going
to conflict
414
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,903
with me marrying
your daughter.
415
00:17:27,905 --> 00:17:30,105
Now, I know what you're
going to say-- I made
416
00:17:30,107 --> 00:17:32,124
a commitment to Bernadette
and to your family
417
00:17:32,126 --> 00:17:34,109
and I've got a hell
of a lot of nerve
418
00:17:34,111 --> 00:17:36,328
coming in here and demanding
that we postpone this thing.
419
00:17:36,330 --> 00:17:37,997
Well, message heard
and understood.
420
00:17:37,999 --> 00:17:39,632
Mission canceled.
Thank you.
421
00:17:41,117 --> 00:17:42,251
Where are you going?
422
00:17:42,253 --> 00:17:44,053
I'm sorry.
423
00:17:44,055 --> 00:17:46,589
May I be excused?
424
00:17:46,591 --> 00:17:48,090
No, you may not.
425
00:17:48,092 --> 00:17:49,475
Let me tell you something.
426
00:17:49,477 --> 00:17:51,393
When I first met you...
427
00:17:51,395 --> 00:17:52,794
You just gonna stand there?
428
00:17:52,796 --> 00:17:56,649
I'm sorry, I didn't know,
is this going to...
429
00:17:56,651 --> 00:17:57,766
Well, I should sit...
430
00:17:57,768 --> 00:17:59,485
May I be seat...
Well, I'll just sit.
431
00:18:01,438 --> 00:18:03,956
When I first met you,
432
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,507
I didn't like you.
433
00:18:05,509 --> 00:18:08,944
I'm aware of that, sir.
434
00:18:08,946 --> 00:18:11,947
But then you and I
had some time together.
435
00:18:11,949 --> 00:18:12,981
Uh-huh.
436
00:18:12,983 --> 00:18:15,834
It did not get better.
437
00:18:15,836 --> 00:18:18,187
Right, right.
438
00:18:18,189 --> 00:18:20,289
That silly Beatle haircut
439
00:18:20,291 --> 00:18:21,490
and...
440
00:18:21,492 --> 00:18:23,542
you riding around
on a red Vespa,
441
00:18:23,544 --> 00:18:26,428
and you're still living
at home with your mother.
442
00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:29,465
To be honest, I thought
Bernadette chose you
443
00:18:29,467 --> 00:18:31,267
to punish me.
444
00:18:32,769 --> 00:18:35,671
But then I heard about
your astronaut thing,
445
00:18:35,673 --> 00:18:37,273
and I realized
446
00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:39,475
I judged you too fast.
447
00:18:39,477 --> 00:18:40,809
Maybe you are
448
00:18:40,811 --> 00:18:42,728
the right guy
for my little girl.
449
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:45,064
Oh, I am.
And just so you know,
450
00:18:45,066 --> 00:18:48,233
I'd still be an astronaut,
even if I didn't go to space.
451
00:18:48,235 --> 00:18:52,288
I've got an I.D. card
and a NASA golf shirt.
452
00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:53,706
No, no, you got to go.
453
00:18:53,708 --> 00:18:55,991
You can't turn down
an opportunity like this.
454
00:18:55,993 --> 00:18:58,360
B-But what about the wedding
455
00:18:58,362 --> 00:19:01,080
and all the money you put
down for the reception?
456
00:19:01,082 --> 00:19:02,965
You let me worry about that.
457
00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:04,783
You go up to that
space station,
458
00:19:04,785 --> 00:19:06,986
and you make me proud.
459
00:19:11,424 --> 00:19:12,658
Um, okay.
460
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:15,711
You got a problem with that?
461
00:19:15,713 --> 00:19:18,213
All right, look, I'm
gonna level with you.
462
00:19:18,215 --> 00:19:21,550
I'm terrified about
going into space.
463
00:19:21,552 --> 00:19:25,154
What if I don't
make it back?
464
00:19:25,156 --> 00:19:28,741
It's gonna be okay, son.
465
00:19:28,743 --> 00:19:31,143
You really think so?
466
00:19:31,145 --> 00:19:33,045
Of course.
467
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,681
A pretty girl like Bernadette...
468
00:19:35,683 --> 00:19:38,150
she'll find a new guy.
469
00:19:50,031 --> 00:19:51,214
Hey.
470
00:19:51,216 --> 00:19:52,516
Hey.
471
00:19:52,518 --> 00:19:53,717
Off to work?
472
00:19:53,719 --> 00:19:54,852
Yeah.
473
00:19:54,854 --> 00:19:56,186
Have a nice night.
474
00:19:56,188 --> 00:19:57,888
Okay, you, too.
475
00:19:58,707 --> 00:20:00,223
Penny, just, wait.
476
00:20:00,225 --> 00:20:02,109
I've been thinking
about what I said
477
00:20:02,111 --> 00:20:04,178
when we were in bed
the other night.
478
00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:06,280
Yeah, I've been
thinking about it, too.
479
00:20:06,282 --> 00:20:08,716
I noticed you never answered me.
480
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:12,503
You're right.
481
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,509
No.
482
00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:22,880
Uh, follow-up.
Are we still dating?
483
00:20:22,882 --> 00:20:24,247
Yep.
484
00:20:24,249 --> 00:20:25,966
Is it still weird
'cause I proposed?
485
00:20:25,968 --> 00:20:27,668
Yep.
486
00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:29,603
I have a couple more
quick questions.
487
00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:30,827
Do you want to call me
from the car?
488
00:20:30,852 --> 00:20:32,852
No!
489
00:20:34,225 --> 00:20:36,860
Think I played that
pretty well.
490
00:20:49,758 --> 00:20:51,775
Hello, Leonard.
491
00:20:51,777 --> 00:20:52,910
What are you doing?
492
00:20:52,912 --> 00:20:55,312
We're playing doctor.
493
00:20:55,847 --> 00:20:59,199
Star Trek style.
494
00:21:00,018 --> 00:21:03,454
I'm in hell, Leonard.
495
00:21:03,456 --> 00:21:04,955
Don't stop.
496
00:21:04,957 --> 00:21:08,957
== sync, corrected by elderman ==