1
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:07,360
Howard Wolowitz.
2
00:00:07,362 --> 00:00:09,529
Hey, Howard.
Dave Roeger here at NASA.
3
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,814
We need to talk
about your upcoming mission.
4
00:00:11,816 --> 00:00:15,835
Yes, yes, I've been doing
my push-ups.
5
00:00:15,837 --> 00:00:18,955
I'm still stuck at nine, but...
6
00:00:21,158 --> 00:00:24,961
...that's going all the way down
with no one holding me.
7
00:00:24,963 --> 00:00:27,464
That's great, uh,
but that's not why I called.
8
00:00:27,466 --> 00:00:29,599
We've run into a bit of a snafu.
9
00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:32,101
Your Soyuz capsule failed
the pressurization test,
10
00:00:32,103 --> 00:00:35,688
so bottom line,
mission's been scrubbed.
11
00:00:37,441 --> 00:00:40,543
You're kidding.
So what does that mean?
12
00:00:40,545 --> 00:00:43,480
Uh-huh.
13
00:00:43,482 --> 00:00:45,231
Uh-huh.
14
00:00:45,233 --> 00:00:47,250
Boy, I got to tell you,
15
00:00:47,252 --> 00:00:48,902
I'm really disappointed.
16
00:00:48,904 --> 00:00:50,370
This was my dream
17
00:00:50,372 --> 00:00:53,490
ever since I was a little kid.
18
00:00:53,492 --> 00:00:55,241
Okay, well, uh,
19
00:00:55,243 --> 00:00:57,277
thanks for the call.
20
00:00:57,279 --> 00:00:59,963
Yep, you, too.
21
00:00:59,965 --> 00:01:01,697
Yes! Thank you!
22
00:01:01,699 --> 00:01:05,201
Oh! Oh...
23
00:01:05,203 --> 00:01:07,554
I'm not gonna die in space!
24
00:01:09,341 --> 00:01:11,724
I'm gonna die
the way God intended,
25
00:01:11,726 --> 00:01:15,094
in my late 50s,
with a heart full of pastrami.
26
00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:19,399
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
27
00:01:19,401 --> 00:01:23,203
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
28
00:01:23,205 --> 00:01:24,737
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
29
00:01:24,739 --> 00:01:27,674
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
30
00:01:27,676 --> 00:01:29,692
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
31
00:01:29,694 --> 00:01:32,445
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
32
00:01:32,447 --> 00:01:34,547
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
33
00:01:34,549 --> 00:01:35,549
♪ Bang! ♪
34
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:39,100
The Big Bang Theory 5x23
The Launch Acceleration
Original Air Date on May 3, 2012
35
00:01:39,150 --> 00:01:41,150
== sync by Eu_I_Myself,
corrected by elderman ==
36
00:01:41,196 --> 00:01:44,165
I'm going to need
a larger shirt.
37
00:01:47,386 --> 00:01:49,754
This one's a little tight
under the arms.
38
00:01:49,756 --> 00:01:51,222
Okay.
39
00:01:51,224 --> 00:01:52,590
Do you think maybe it's tight
40
00:01:52,592 --> 00:01:54,058
because you're wearing
long underwear?
41
00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:56,244
Yes, of course
that's why it's tight.
44
00:02:01,299 --> 00:02:02,665
You're kidding.
45
00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:05,701
Shouldn't the question be:
why aren't you?
46
00:02:05,703 --> 00:02:10,189
No, it should be: why are you?
Leonard,
47
00:02:10,191 --> 00:02:12,358
these rental tuxedos have been
48
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,493
worn by hundreds
of sweaty strangers.
49
00:02:15,289 --> 00:02:17,473
I don't like my own sweat
touching my skin,
50
00:02:17,475 --> 00:02:19,625
how do you think
I feel about theirs?
51
00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:22,328
Why don't you
slip this on?
52
00:02:22,330 --> 00:02:24,463
Said the hangman
offering a noose.
53
00:02:25,699 --> 00:02:27,416
Well, that wasn't
as entertaining
54
00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:29,118
as when he rents bowling shoes,
55
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,037
but it was right up there.
56
00:02:31,039 --> 00:02:33,189
Well, that's it.
57
00:02:33,191 --> 00:02:34,957
My orders have been rescinded.
58
00:02:34,959 --> 00:02:37,326
I am officially "no go"
to space.
59
00:02:37,328 --> 00:02:39,545
I'm sorry, Howard,
but I got to tell you,
60
00:02:39,547 --> 00:02:41,514
I'm a little relieved
you're not going.
61
00:02:41,516 --> 00:02:42,664
Why?
62
00:02:42,666 --> 00:02:44,666
Come on, you were
gonna go up in a rocket
63
00:02:44,668 --> 00:02:46,802
designed in the 1960s
by the Russians.
64
00:02:46,804 --> 00:02:48,137
Yeah, so?
65
00:02:48,139 --> 00:02:50,139
When was the last time
you were at Best Buy
66
00:02:50,141 --> 00:02:52,341
and you heard someone say, "Ooh,
check out this Blu-ray player,
67
00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:54,727
it must be good,
it was built in Russia"?
68
00:02:56,563 --> 00:02:58,898
Well, their technology
isn't that bad.
69
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:02,234
When you come back to Earth
in a Soyuz capsule, you free-fall
70
00:03:02,236 --> 00:03:04,203
from space
at 500 miles per hour,
71
00:03:04,205 --> 00:03:06,205
and the only thing
that slows you down
72
00:03:06,207 --> 00:03:07,990
is a little parachute
that pops out
73
00:03:07,992 --> 00:03:09,708
right before you crash
into the ground.
74
00:03:09,710 --> 00:03:11,193
And the whole thing
was designed
75
00:03:11,195 --> 00:03:13,746
by the same brilliant minds
who were unable to capture
76
00:03:13,748 --> 00:03:15,831
Rocky and Bullwinkle.
77
00:03:17,250 --> 00:03:18,867
All right, well, whatever.
78
00:03:18,869 --> 00:03:20,086
I wasn't worried.
79
00:03:20,088 --> 00:03:21,220
You weren't?
80
00:03:21,222 --> 00:03:24,840
Let me explain the difference
between you and me.
81
00:03:24,842 --> 00:03:26,225
You watch
82
00:03:26,227 --> 00:03:28,811
Star Trek; I live it.
83
00:03:30,730 --> 00:03:33,065
Oh, please. I don't remember
the episode of Star Trek
84
00:03:33,067 --> 00:03:34,683
where the guy
never goes to space
85
00:03:34,685 --> 00:03:37,386
and brags about it
in a tuxedo store.
86
00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:38,771
Make all the jokes you want,
87
00:03:38,773 --> 00:03:40,889
but there's only
one of us here brave enough
88
00:03:40,891 --> 00:03:43,242
to almost do
what I almost did.
89
00:03:43,244 --> 00:03:46,395
Ah, much better.
90
00:03:48,782 --> 00:03:50,666
You must be burning up.
91
00:03:50,668 --> 00:03:53,169
A little. But not more
than your urethras
92
00:03:53,171 --> 00:03:56,122
will be after whatever's
in those pants swims up them.
93
00:03:58,625 --> 00:03:59,959
Well...
94
00:03:59,961 --> 00:04:03,679
I cut quite the dashing,
yet hygienic figure, don't I?
95
00:04:03,681 --> 00:04:07,933
I look like the Flash
about to get married.
96
00:04:09,970 --> 00:04:11,720
Oh! A tissue! A tissue!
97
00:04:11,722 --> 00:04:13,139
Oh, good Lord!
98
00:04:13,141 --> 00:04:15,357
Uh, where's he going?
99
00:04:15,359 --> 00:04:17,726
He keeps emergency
Purell in the car.
100
00:04:17,728 --> 00:04:19,278
Keys! Keys! Keys!
101
00:04:23,433 --> 00:04:24,984
Hey, you.
Before I come in,
102
00:04:24,986 --> 00:04:28,270
you should know, I have gas.
103
00:04:28,272 --> 00:04:31,624
For the record,
not your worst opening line.
104
00:04:31,626 --> 00:04:33,526
Check it out.
It's the gas I use
105
00:04:33,528 --> 00:04:35,794
in my free-electron laser
to support high voltages.
106
00:04:35,796 --> 00:04:39,081
But it also has an
interesting secondary use.
107
00:04:40,668 --> 00:04:42,251
Here. Breathe this in.
108
00:04:42,253 --> 00:04:46,121
B-Before I do it, if you're
a cop you have tell me, right?
109
00:04:46,123 --> 00:04:48,140
Just try it.
110
00:04:48,142 --> 00:04:49,308
Okay.
111
00:04:50,845 --> 00:04:53,145
What's it supposed to...
112
00:04:53,147 --> 00:04:55,130
Oh, my God, that's so freaky!
113
00:04:58,636 --> 00:05:00,936
♪ You're a mean one ♪
114
00:05:00,938 --> 00:05:03,239
♪ Mr. Grinch. ♪
115
00:05:03,241 --> 00:05:05,107
Okay. Me, me, me. Ready?
116
00:05:06,076 --> 00:05:08,911
Leonard, I am your father.
117
00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:13,415
I have never been
more attracted to a woman
118
00:05:13,417 --> 00:05:15,167
who sounds like a man
in my life.
119
00:05:15,169 --> 00:05:16,952
Oh...
120
00:05:17,820 --> 00:05:19,038
Mm.
121
00:05:20,790 --> 00:05:23,342
Hey... you know
how we've been...
122
00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:26,212
taking things slow?
Mm-hmm.
123
00:05:26,214 --> 00:05:28,097
Well, I've been thinking, and...
124
00:05:28,099 --> 00:05:29,998
maybe I'm ready to...
125
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,384
take things a little... faster.
126
00:05:32,386 --> 00:05:33,886
Oh...
127
00:05:33,888 --> 00:05:35,054
great.
Mm-hmm.
128
00:05:35,056 --> 00:05:37,139
And I promise,
after waiting four months,
129
00:05:37,141 --> 00:05:40,459
fast is what you're gonna get.
130
00:05:41,344 --> 00:05:43,011
You know, just-just one thing.
131
00:05:43,013 --> 00:05:44,897
Look, we're in a really
great place right now,
132
00:05:44,899 --> 00:05:46,198
and I don't want to do anything
133
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,866
that will make stuff
all weird again.
134
00:05:47,868 --> 00:05:49,735
So we won't let it get weird.
135
00:05:49,737 --> 00:05:51,153
Okay. Oh, and just a heads-up...
136
00:05:51,155 --> 00:05:53,355
mm, since the last time
you saw me naked,
137
00:05:53,357 --> 00:05:54,990
I got a Cookie Monster tattoo.
138
00:05:54,992 --> 00:05:57,626
The acceptable responses
when you see it
139
00:05:57,628 --> 00:05:59,328
are "awesome" or nothing.
140
00:05:59,330 --> 00:06:01,497
What about...
141
00:06:01,499 --> 00:06:03,365
Cookies!
142
00:06:08,688 --> 00:06:10,472
Amy?
143
00:06:10,474 --> 00:06:11,757
Amy?
144
00:06:11,759 --> 00:06:14,009
Amy?
145
00:06:15,545 --> 00:06:17,229
7:00, right on time.
146
00:06:17,231 --> 00:06:19,598
It's not an accident.
147
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,217
I waited outside your door
for 20 minutes.
148
00:06:22,219 --> 00:06:24,403
Well, dinner's almost ready.
149
00:06:24,405 --> 00:06:25,821
I must say,
150
00:06:25,823 --> 00:06:27,389
I was surprised
you chose to spend
151
00:06:27,391 --> 00:06:28,907
our date night
in your apartment.
152
00:06:28,909 --> 00:06:30,276
As I mentioned,
153
00:06:30,278 --> 00:06:34,563
the Pasadena City Council is
debating longer crosswalk times,
154
00:06:34,565 --> 00:06:37,866
and later, the LEGO store is
having a midnight madness sale.
155
00:06:37,868 --> 00:06:39,234
You ask anyone,
156
00:06:39,236 --> 00:06:40,619
that's a hot date.
157
00:06:40,621 --> 00:06:43,672
Tempting choices,
but I have something special
158
00:06:43,674 --> 00:06:44,906
planned for tonight.
159
00:06:44,908 --> 00:06:46,575
What can be more special
than having
160
00:06:46,577 --> 00:06:48,877
an adequate amount of time
to cross the street
161
00:06:48,879 --> 00:06:52,414
on your way to buy
a tiny LEGO Indiana Jones?
162
00:06:52,416 --> 00:06:54,850
With our friends moving forward
in their relationships,
163
00:06:54,852 --> 00:06:58,053
I've decided that we should
make progress in ours as well.
164
00:06:58,055 --> 00:07:00,105
Oh, dear Lord.
165
00:07:00,107 --> 00:07:02,858
Two years ago,
we didn't even know each other,
166
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:06,111
and now I'm
in your apartment after dark.
167
00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:09,931
How much faster
can this thing go?
168
00:07:09,933 --> 00:07:11,734
I had a feeling
you'd be reluctant,
169
00:07:11,736 --> 00:07:13,652
which is why
I'm going to dip
170
00:07:13,654 --> 00:07:15,404
into my neurobiological
bag of tricks.
171
00:07:15,406 --> 00:07:18,974
Oh, you brain monkeys
kill me. Dip away.
172
00:07:19,826 --> 00:07:21,109
I have devised
173
00:07:21,111 --> 00:07:22,995
an experiment that
I believe will increase
174
00:07:22,997 --> 00:07:25,547
your feelings for me
in an accelerated time frame.
175
00:07:25,549 --> 00:07:27,783
And how do you propose
to do that?
176
00:07:27,785 --> 00:07:29,084
Uh, hope you're not thinking
177
00:07:29,086 --> 00:07:31,670
about some sort
of LSD thought control.
178
00:07:31,672 --> 00:07:32,921
Because there's
179
00:07:32,923 --> 00:07:35,140
only one mind-expanding drug
that this man enjoys,
180
00:07:35,142 --> 00:07:37,125
and that's called school.
181
00:07:37,127 --> 00:07:40,763
Human beings form emotional
attachments as they grow up.
182
00:07:40,765 --> 00:07:43,849
In your case, to your mother,
superheroes, et cetera.
183
00:07:43,851 --> 00:07:44,966
I'm going to attempt
184
00:07:44,968 --> 00:07:47,319
an experiment that will
get you to transfer
185
00:07:47,321 --> 00:07:48,987
those feelings to me.
186
00:07:48,989 --> 00:07:50,105
Well,
187
00:07:50,107 --> 00:07:51,740
seems what's on the menu tonight
188
00:07:51,742 --> 00:07:54,910
is malarkey with
a big side of poppycock.
189
00:07:54,912 --> 00:07:56,412
We'll see.
190
00:07:56,414 --> 00:07:59,998
Let's start with a little
romantic dinner music, shall we?
191
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,487
Super Mario Bros. theme?
192
00:08:05,489 --> 00:08:06,672
Yes.
193
00:08:06,674 --> 00:08:09,324
I see what you're doing.
194
00:08:09,326 --> 00:08:10,959
You're attempting
to build on the work
195
00:08:10,961 --> 00:08:12,177
of Ebbinghaus by triggering
196
00:08:12,179 --> 00:08:15,130
an involuntary memory
of me playing that game--
197
00:08:15,132 --> 00:08:18,684
admittedly the happiest
600 hours of my childhood...
198
00:08:19,636 --> 00:08:20,769
...but it won't work.
199
00:08:20,771 --> 00:08:22,604
Fine. There's no reason
we still can't have
200
00:08:22,606 --> 00:08:24,640
a lovely dinner.
Why don't you have a seat.
201
00:08:27,328 --> 00:08:29,361
Boink! Boink!
202
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,898
May I offer you
something to drink?
203
00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:34,483
You know I don't drink.
204
00:08:34,485 --> 00:08:35,734
Not even...
205
00:08:35,736 --> 00:08:36,985
strawberry Quik?
206
00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:41,240
I love strawberry Quik.
207
00:08:41,242 --> 00:08:44,410
It's my favorite
pink fluid,
208
00:08:44,412 --> 00:08:47,496
narrowly beating out
Pepto-Bismol.
209
00:08:47,498 --> 00:08:49,665
Oh, I know.
210
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:51,467
I think it will go nicely
211
00:08:51,469 --> 00:08:53,285
with what I have prepared...
212
00:08:53,287 --> 00:08:54,753
for dinner.
213
00:08:54,755 --> 00:08:58,757
Spaghetti with little pieces
of hot dog cut up in it!
214
00:08:58,759 --> 00:08:59,929
Just like your mommy
used to make.
215
00:08:59,954 --> 00:09:00,977
Oh...
216
00:09:00,978 --> 00:09:03,645
yummy, yummy!
217
00:09:03,647 --> 00:09:06,648
We should do this more often.
218
00:09:13,189 --> 00:09:15,324
Uh-oh.
219
00:09:17,577 --> 00:09:18,727
I'm sorry. I did,
220
00:09:18,729 --> 00:09:20,279
I crossed a line.
I didn't mean to!
221
00:09:20,281 --> 00:09:22,164
Who says something
like that right in the middle
222
00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:23,532
of sex?!
I don't know,
223
00:09:23,534 --> 00:09:25,567
it just came out.
People say weird things
224
00:09:25,569 --> 00:09:26,919
during sex all the time.
225
00:09:26,921 --> 00:09:29,288
Okay, well, they
sure as hell don't say that.
226
00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:30,956
It was the heat of the moment.
No,
227
00:09:30,958 --> 00:09:33,575
the heat of the moment is,
"Ooh, yeah, just like that,"
228
00:09:33,577 --> 00:09:36,361
not "will you marry me?"
229
00:09:37,246 --> 00:09:38,597
I'm sorry.
230
00:09:38,599 --> 00:09:40,299
Just-just give me
another chance.
231
00:09:40,301 --> 00:09:42,100
Why, so you can crawl
under the covers and go,
232
00:09:42,102 --> 00:09:43,602
"Hey, baby,
want to go look for houses
233
00:09:43,604 --> 00:09:46,388
in neighborhoods
with good schools?"
234
00:09:46,390 --> 00:09:48,607
Again, I'm sorry.
235
00:09:48,609 --> 00:09:50,859
You know, with Howard
and Bernadette getting married,
236
00:09:50,861 --> 00:09:53,261
I got caught up
in a little wedding fever.
237
00:09:53,263 --> 00:09:54,897
I take it back.
You can't
238
00:09:54,899 --> 00:09:56,148
take something like that back.
239
00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:58,600
I mean, what are we
even supposed to do now?
240
00:09:58,602 --> 00:10:01,320
Okay, at some point,
we'll look back
241
00:10:01,322 --> 00:10:04,490
and this is going
to be a funny story.
242
00:10:04,492 --> 00:10:06,942
Why don't we just
start doing that now?
243
00:10:06,944 --> 00:10:08,794
You're kidding.
No.
244
00:10:08,796 --> 00:10:11,964
Hey, do you remember...
245
00:10:13,082 --> 00:10:15,717
...that time when I proposed
246
00:10:15,719 --> 00:10:18,587
to you in bed?
247
00:10:18,589 --> 00:10:22,090
And you were all, like,
"What are you doing?"
248
00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:25,227
That was so funny.
249
00:10:26,112 --> 00:10:29,298
So funny.
250
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:30,599
It's not funny.
251
00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:33,585
Give it a minute.
252
00:10:34,387 --> 00:10:37,272
Is that a little smile
I see there?
253
00:10:37,974 --> 00:10:40,759
I should go.
254
00:10:41,978 --> 00:10:43,695
Hey, I was thinking.
255
00:10:43,697 --> 00:10:45,647
For our first dance
at the wedding,
256
00:10:45,649 --> 00:10:49,535
what if we learn the final number
from Dirty Dancing?
257
00:10:49,537 --> 00:10:51,954
You're kidding.
No,
258
00:10:51,956 --> 00:10:53,321
come on.
259
00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:54,773
How cool would that be?
260
00:10:54,775 --> 00:10:58,694
Me running
into your arms...
261
00:10:58,696 --> 00:11:00,996
you lifting me up
into the air.
262
00:11:02,331 --> 00:11:04,766
Oh, you're in a good mood.
263
00:11:04,768 --> 00:11:06,134
Yeah, well, why
wouldn't I be?
264
00:11:06,136 --> 00:11:08,554
You know, I'm marrying
the girl of my dreams,
265
00:11:08,556 --> 00:11:10,305
and I finally got
my mother to agree
266
00:11:10,307 --> 00:11:12,724
not to come on
our honeymoon.
267
00:11:13,509 --> 00:11:15,844
Oh, hang on.
268
00:11:16,696 --> 00:11:17,896
Oh, it's NASA.
269
00:11:19,065 --> 00:11:20,399
Wolowitz.
270
00:11:20,401 --> 00:11:23,302
Oh! Hi, Dave.
What's up?
271
00:11:24,821 --> 00:11:27,372
No kidding. Really?
272
00:11:27,374 --> 00:11:28,523
Well,
273
00:11:28,525 --> 00:11:32,160
that's... great news.
274
00:11:32,162 --> 00:11:35,030
Great, great news.
275
00:11:35,032 --> 00:11:37,416
All right, I'll watch my e-mail
276
00:11:37,418 --> 00:11:39,801
for the details.
277
00:11:39,803 --> 00:11:41,970
Okay, talk soon.
278
00:11:43,406 --> 00:11:44,506
What's so great?
279
00:11:44,508 --> 00:11:47,809
It looks like I'm going
into space after all.
280
00:11:49,096 --> 00:11:51,680
Oh, Howie,
that's wonderful!
281
00:11:51,682 --> 00:11:53,849
Uh-huh, wonderful.
282
00:11:54,767 --> 00:11:58,270
Yay...
283
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,386
What happened?
I thought
284
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,555
they canceled your mission.
Th-They did.
285
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,757
But NASA really wants
286
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,143
my telescope up
on the space station,
287
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:11,012
so they're putting me
on an earlier launch.
288
00:12:11,014 --> 00:12:13,014
When?
A...
289
00:12:13,016 --> 00:12:15,316
week from Friday.
290
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:18,186
What? We're getting
married that Sunday.
291
00:12:19,255 --> 00:12:20,421
You're right!
292
00:12:20,423 --> 00:12:22,056
I-I can't go to space.
293
00:12:22,058 --> 00:12:24,559
I have to get married,
and no one can say
294
00:12:24,561 --> 00:12:26,911
that's not a good reason.
I'll call him back.
295
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,582
Wait. I don't want to be
296
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,400
the one who stands
in your way.
297
00:12:32,402 --> 00:12:34,235
Well, too bad, you already did.
It's a done deal.
298
00:12:34,237 --> 00:12:36,337
Oh, well.
But I forgive you.
299
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,573
No. That's not how I want
to start our marriage,
300
00:12:38,575 --> 00:12:39,958
killing your dream?
301
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,876
We'll have the wedding
when you get back.
302
00:12:41,878 --> 00:12:43,378
But wh-what about
303
00:12:43,380 --> 00:12:46,447
all the plans
and the guests?
304
00:12:46,449 --> 00:12:47,549
We'll call them.
305
00:12:47,551 --> 00:12:49,517
Although my dad's
gonna go a little nutso
306
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,603
over losing his deposits.
307
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:55,523
You're right, he is!
308
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,275
Your dad's gonna be furious.
309
00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,111
There's no way he's
gonna let us postpone this wedding.
310
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,546
Well, we tried.
311
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,199
I'll talk to him.
312
00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:06,767
He won't say no to his little girl.
No!
313
00:13:06,769 --> 00:13:09,604
I-I should talk to him,
314
00:13:09,606 --> 00:13:11,072
man to man.
315
00:13:11,074 --> 00:13:12,907
But, Howie, my dad
can be a bully.
316
00:13:12,909 --> 00:13:14,909
He's gonna make you cancel
your space flight.
317
00:13:14,911 --> 00:13:16,244
We can only hope...
318
00:13:16,246 --> 00:13:18,363
that he doesn't.
319
00:13:19,582 --> 00:13:23,784
Bishop to queen four,
320
00:13:23,786 --> 00:13:25,486
level two.
321
00:13:25,488 --> 00:13:27,422
Check.
322
00:13:27,424 --> 00:13:29,090
Sheldon...
323
00:13:29,092 --> 00:13:30,725
knight takes bishop.
324
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,594
You all right?
325
00:13:32,596 --> 00:13:34,762
I'm fine.
326
00:13:35,764 --> 00:13:36,898
Are you?
327
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,133
You left your queen
exposed from above,
328
00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:40,852
you trapped your
knight in the corner,
329
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:44,372
and you keep sighing
and saying, "Why me?"
330
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,525
Very well.
331
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:50,645
Can I ask you
a question about women?
332
00:13:51,614 --> 00:13:53,948
We got you that book last year.
333
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,833
Wasn't everything in there?
334
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:59,787
No, I'm having
a relationship problem with Amy.
335
00:13:59,789 --> 00:14:00,755
And by the way,
336
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:03,074
that book gave me nightmares.
337
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,877
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
338
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,630
I screwed things up
pretty good with Penny.
339
00:14:08,632 --> 00:14:11,132
Look at us,
Leonard...
340
00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:13,935
engaging in the social
convention of men bellyaching
341
00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:16,054
about their ol' ladies.
342
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,189
I guess we are.
343
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,025
So, what's going on?
344
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,677
Believe it or not,
345
00:14:22,679 --> 00:14:25,113
Amy has embarked on a campaign
346
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:31,018
to increase my feelings
for her by making me happy.
347
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:35,073
I'm sorry, that must be very
difficult for you.
348
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,075
It's awful.
349
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,077
This morning,
she arranged for me
350
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:41,696
to be an Amtrak junior conductor
for the day.
351
00:14:41,698 --> 00:14:42,830
It-It's usually
352
00:14:42,832 --> 00:14:44,048
only open to children.
353
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,051
She got them
to make an exception.
354
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,470
Shame on her.
355
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:52,423
They let me
blow the whistle, Leonard.
356
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:55,543
She's good.
357
00:14:55,545 --> 00:14:56,477
I know.
358
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,179
And it gets worse.
359
00:14:58,181 --> 00:15:00,064
Her efforts are causing me
360
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,383
to have affectionate
feelings for her
361
00:15:02,385 --> 00:15:05,520
at inappropriate times.
362
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:10,325
You mean, like in bed
or in the shower?
363
00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:11,659
No!
364
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,912
Would you please stop
referencing that infernal book?
365
00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:18,032
For example, this morning,
366
00:15:18,034 --> 00:15:20,284
I was calculating
the random motion
367
00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:22,253
of virtual particles
in a vacuum,
368
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,089
when suddenly
the particles morphed
369
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:28,626
into an image
of Amy's dandruff...
370
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:33,514
...gently cascading down
371
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:37,251
onto her pale,
slightly hunched shoulders.
372
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:41,856
What has that vixen
done to me, Leonard?
373
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,624
And how do I make it stop?
374
00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:45,993
Well, if you had
a physical relationship,
375
00:15:45,995 --> 00:15:47,862
I'd say propose during sex.
376
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:51,182
Turns out that's
a real mood kill.
377
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,950
I assume we're talking
about you now?
378
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:53,935
Yeah.
379
00:15:53,937 --> 00:15:55,102
So, that's
how this works?
380
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:57,438
I complain,
and then you complain,
381
00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,107
and no one offers any solutions?
382
00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:02,944
Pretty much.
383
00:16:02,946 --> 00:16:06,113
Well, no wonder
the women are winning.
384
00:16:09,586 --> 00:16:12,086
Mr. Rostenkowski,
are you busy?
385
00:16:12,088 --> 00:16:14,789
Oh, just looking at some
old pictures. Come on in.
386
00:16:14,791 --> 00:16:16,340
Family pictures,
or...?
387
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:19,627
H-Holy crap, that's
a dead person.
388
00:16:19,629 --> 00:16:22,814
Last murder case
before I retired.
389
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,849
How many bodies
do you see there?
390
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:25,967
Careful,
391
00:16:25,969 --> 00:16:28,336
it's a trick question.
392
00:16:28,338 --> 00:16:30,521
I'm not sure.
393
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:31,906
Nah, you'll never get it.
394
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,692
It's a fraction.
395
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,861
How about that.
396
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:37,995
Anyway,
397
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,481
sir, I need to talk
to you about something.
398
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,251
Walnut?
399
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:44,952
No, thank you.
400
00:16:44,954 --> 00:16:46,287
I'm allergic.
401
00:16:46,289 --> 00:16:47,988
Oh, sure.
402
00:16:47,990 --> 00:16:50,341
My partner used to have that.
403
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,992
He's dead now.
404
00:16:53,545 --> 00:16:55,012
From nuts?
405
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,697
Nah, his wife shot him.
406
00:16:57,516 --> 00:17:01,452
But she was nuts,
so in a way...
407
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:03,721
Nice story.
408
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,389
Anyway,
409
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:07,842
the reason I wanted
to talk to you is
410
00:17:07,844 --> 00:17:10,528
NASA has moved up
my launch
411
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,780
to the International
Space Station.
412
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,615
Yeah, so?
So...
413
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,118
the date is going
to conflict
414
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,153
with me marrying
your daughter.
415
00:17:19,155 --> 00:17:21,355
Now, I know what you're
going to say-- I made
416
00:17:21,357 --> 00:17:23,374
a commitment to Bernadette
and to your family
417
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,359
and I've got a hell
of a lot of nerve
418
00:17:25,361 --> 00:17:27,578
coming in here and demanding
that we postpone this thing.
419
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,247
Well, message heard
and understood.
420
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,882
Mission canceled.
Thank you.
421
00:17:32,367 --> 00:17:33,501
Where are you going?
422
00:17:33,503 --> 00:17:35,303
I'm sorry.
423
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,839
May I be excused?
424
00:17:37,841 --> 00:17:39,340
No, you may not.
425
00:17:39,342 --> 00:17:40,725
Let me tell you something.
426
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,643
When I first met you...
427
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,044
You just gonna stand there?
428
00:17:44,046 --> 00:17:47,899
I'm sorry, I didn't know,
is this going to...
429
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,016
Well, I should sit...
430
00:17:49,018 --> 00:17:50,735
May I be seat...
Well, I'll just sit.
431
00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:55,206
When I first met you,
432
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,757
I didn't like you.
433
00:17:56,759 --> 00:18:00,194
I'm aware of that, sir.
434
00:18:00,196 --> 00:18:03,197
But then you and I
had some time together.
435
00:18:03,199 --> 00:18:04,231
Uh-huh.
436
00:18:04,233 --> 00:18:07,084
It did not get better.
437
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,437
Right, right.
438
00:18:09,439 --> 00:18:11,539
That silly Beatle haircut
439
00:18:11,541 --> 00:18:12,740
and...
440
00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:14,792
you riding around
on a red Vespa,
441
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,678
and you're still living
at home with your mother.
442
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,715
To be honest, I thought
Bernadette chose you
443
00:18:20,717 --> 00:18:22,517
to punish me.
444
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:26,921
But then I heard about
your astronaut thing,
445
00:18:26,923 --> 00:18:28,523
and I realized
446
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,725
I judged you too fast.
447
00:18:30,727 --> 00:18:32,059
Maybe you are
448
00:18:32,061 --> 00:18:33,978
the right guy
for my little girl.
449
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:36,314
Oh, I am.
And just so you know,
450
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:39,483
I'd still be an astronaut,
even if I didn't go to space.
451
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:43,538
I've got an I.D. card
and a NASA golf shirt.
452
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:44,956
No, no, you got to go.
453
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,241
You can't turn down
an opportunity like this.
454
00:18:47,243 --> 00:18:49,610
B-But what about the wedding
455
00:18:49,612 --> 00:18:52,330
and all the money you put
down for the reception?
456
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,215
You let me worry about that.
457
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,033
You go up to that
space station,
458
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,236
and you make me proud.
459
00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:03,908
Um, okay.
460
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,961
You got a problem with that?
461
00:19:06,963 --> 00:19:09,463
All right, look, I'm
gonna level with you.
462
00:19:09,465 --> 00:19:12,800
I'm terrified about
going into space.
463
00:19:12,802 --> 00:19:16,404
What if I don't
make it back?
464
00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:19,991
It's gonna be okay, son.
465
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,393
You really think so?
466
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,295
Of course.
467
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,931
A pretty girl like Bernadette...
468
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:29,400
she'll find a new guy.
469
00:19:36,031 --> 00:19:37,214
Hey.
470
00:19:37,216 --> 00:19:38,516
Hey.
471
00:19:38,518 --> 00:19:39,717
Off to work?
472
00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:40,852
Yeah.
473
00:19:40,854 --> 00:19:42,186
Have a nice night.
474
00:19:42,188 --> 00:19:43,888
Okay, you, too.
475
00:19:44,707 --> 00:19:46,223
Penny, just, wait.
476
00:19:46,225 --> 00:19:48,109
I've been thinking
about what I said
477
00:19:48,111 --> 00:19:50,178
when we were in bed
the other night.
478
00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:52,280
Yeah, I've been
thinking about it, too.
479
00:19:52,282 --> 00:19:54,716
I noticed you never answered me.
480
00:19:56,335 --> 00:19:58,503
You're right.
481
00:20:02,341 --> 00:20:04,509
No.
482
00:20:06,762 --> 00:20:08,880
Uh, follow-up.
Are we still dating?
483
00:20:08,882 --> 00:20:10,247
Yep.
484
00:20:10,249 --> 00:20:11,966
Is it still weird
'cause I proposed?
485
00:20:11,968 --> 00:20:13,668
Yep.
486
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:15,603
I have a couple more
quick questions.
487
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:16,827
Do you want to call me
from the car?
488
00:20:16,852 --> 00:20:18,852
No!
489
00:20:20,225 --> 00:20:22,860
Think I played that
pretty well.
490
00:20:35,758 --> 00:20:37,775
Hello, Leonard.
491
00:20:37,777 --> 00:20:38,910
What are you doing?
492
00:20:38,912 --> 00:20:41,312
We're playing doctor.
493
00:20:41,847 --> 00:20:45,199
Star Trek style.
494
00:20:46,018 --> 00:20:49,454
I'm in hell, Leonard.
495
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:50,955
Don't stop.
496
00:20:50,957 --> 00:20:54,957
== sync by Eu_I_Myself,
corrected by elderman ==