1
00:00:03,138 --> 00:00:04,563
Man,
2
00:00:04,660 --> 00:00:06,384
my delts are blasted.
3
00:00:08,017 --> 00:00:09,300
I wish they had a chart
4
00:00:09,334 --> 00:00:10,969
for how much protein
powder to scoop.
5
00:00:11,003 --> 00:00:13,521
For a 180 pound man
with no fat.
6
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,390
Protein powder, huh?
7
00:00:15,441 --> 00:00:16,674
You cut it with water?
8
00:00:16,692 --> 00:00:19,227
Why don't you just
take estrogen?
9
00:00:23,866 --> 00:00:26,784
[Coughs]
10
00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:28,036
There you go, boys.
11
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:29,654
See how papa takes care of you?
12
00:00:29,688 --> 00:00:31,572
Mwah.
[Chuckles]
13
00:00:31,623 --> 00:00:34,742
I remember when people
thought biceps were all that.
14
00:00:34,793 --> 00:00:36,377
They'd flex them all night
at the discotheque.
15
00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:39,030
Oh, I bet you think
it's all about core, huh?
16
00:00:39,048 --> 00:00:40,364
- Yeah.
- Oh, please.
17
00:00:40,382 --> 00:00:41,365
Core's critical.
18
00:00:41,383 --> 00:00:42,917
There are four
tenets of pilates
19
00:00:42,968 --> 00:00:44,252
that I live my life by.
20
00:00:44,303 --> 00:00:45,837
One-- Lengthen.
21
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:47,672
Two-- Elongate.
22
00:00:47,706 --> 00:00:49,092
Listen, guys,
I think we all want
23
00:00:49,123 --> 00:00:50,223
to know the same thing, right?
24
00:00:50,287 --> 00:00:51,454
Who's the strongest?
25
00:00:51,535 --> 00:00:53,970
Well, there's only one way
to solve that--
26
00:00:54,534 --> 00:00:56,809
Flat curl contest.
27
00:00:56,899 --> 00:00:58,549
All right, here
we go, everybody.
28
00:00:58,567 --> 00:01:01,352
May the manliest
man win. Go.
29
00:01:01,386 --> 00:01:04,689
[Grunts]
30
00:01:04,723 --> 00:01:06,774
Feast on this, Lewis.
31
00:01:06,825 --> 00:01:08,943
- Argh!
- I love the burn.
32
00:01:08,994 --> 00:01:10,328
The burn is where I live.
33
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:12,396
Come on, Gabe, you can't
handle his hamstrings.
34
00:01:12,414 --> 00:01:14,165
You're getting
hypno-thigh-zed.
35
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,897
Speed set!
One!
36
00:01:15,966 --> 00:01:18,083
[Grunts] Two!
37
00:01:18,110 --> 00:01:19,643
Here, this is for your elbows,
for your elbows.
38
00:01:19,673 --> 00:01:21,001
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
39
00:01:21,008 --> 00:01:23,157
Five, six...
40
00:01:23,614 --> 00:01:24,981
Quick phone call from you guys.
41
00:01:25,004 --> 00:01:29,325
Keep going.
Eight, nine, ten.
44
00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:34,352
Very funny, Jim.
45
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:35,586
Yeah, Jim.
46
00:01:35,604 --> 00:01:37,622
Way to mock us
for perfecting our bodies.
47
00:01:37,656 --> 00:01:41,726
Everyone.
Conference room, now.
48
00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,277
Oh.
49
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:46,364
Ooh.
50
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,116
All right, easy there, grandpa.
51
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,034
- I don't need your help.
- Okay.
52
00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:51,602
- You don't need my help?
- Here, here...
53
00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:53,938
Just...
54
00:01:53,956 --> 00:01:56,941
[Cheerful music]
55
00:01:57,352 --> 00:02:03,062
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
56
00:02:05,312 --> 00:02:06,570
Morning.
57
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:07,351
Hey.
58
00:02:07,423 --> 00:02:09,841
Somebody left in such
a hurry this morning
59
00:02:09,924 --> 00:02:12,809
that she forgot...
60
00:02:12,843 --> 00:02:14,227
- These.
- Oh.
61
00:02:14,261 --> 00:02:16,146
You know the only thing
more delicious than your feet
62
00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:19,265
is the feast that I am going
to prepare for everyone.
63
00:02:19,299 --> 00:02:23,136
Andy, if you're gonna
hang out for a while,
64
00:02:23,154 --> 00:02:24,320
uh...
65
00:02:24,355 --> 00:02:26,573
What's this?
66
00:02:26,607 --> 00:02:28,324
This dumb rule Robert made.
67
00:02:28,359 --> 00:02:30,660
He just wants visitors
to sign in.
68
00:02:30,694 --> 00:02:32,645
Is this Robert's attempt
to embarrass me?
69
00:02:32,663 --> 00:02:35,648
No, of course not.
70
00:02:35,666 --> 00:02:38,952
It's just-- I think it's, like,
if we make an exception for you,
71
00:02:38,986 --> 00:02:41,754
then we have to make
an exception for the water guy,
72
00:02:41,789 --> 00:02:43,089
and then it's, like,
where does it end?
73
00:02:43,124 --> 00:02:44,374
So just...
74
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:46,009
Why is it when other people
spend all their time
75
00:02:46,043 --> 00:02:48,344
at the office,
they're rewarded for it,
76
00:02:48,379 --> 00:02:53,582
and when I do it,
I am told it's a little much?
77
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,041
Is it because I'm not
an employee anymore?
78
00:02:56,060 --> 00:02:57,898
Because that's
what it feels like.
79
00:02:58,005 --> 00:02:59,489
All right, well,
enjoy the alumni game.
80
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:00,777
- Good, we have a deal?
- Thanks, Janet.
81
00:03:00,804 --> 00:03:02,607
Thanks so much, Earl.
82
00:03:02,676 --> 00:03:04,177
Wow, simultaneous sale.
83
00:03:04,195 --> 00:03:06,312
And they said
it couldn't be done. Boom!
84
00:03:06,355 --> 00:03:08,493
Lot going on, guys.
What's happening?
85
00:03:08,532 --> 00:03:10,041
Binghamton branch
closed last night,
86
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,705
and all their clients are for grabs.
87
00:03:11,749 --> 00:03:14,217
That was a fine branch.
88
00:03:14,321 --> 00:03:17,790
Things are really bad under
Robert California, I guess.
89
00:03:17,824 --> 00:03:19,125
It's like a festival of poo.
90
00:03:19,159 --> 00:03:20,593
Hey, hey, come on, language.
91
00:03:20,628 --> 00:03:22,929
Yeah, and we're not interested
in your sour grapes, okay?
92
00:03:22,963 --> 00:03:24,881
Jim, tell him where he
can stick his grapes.
93
00:03:24,932 --> 00:03:26,999
- In the fridge.
- No, Jim.
94
00:03:27,017 --> 00:03:28,334
The butt, in his butt.
95
00:03:28,352 --> 00:03:30,103
Sorry, man,
I can't focus on zingers.
96
00:03:30,137 --> 00:03:31,437
There's too many
potential clients.
97
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,189
You two better
watch yourselves.
98
00:03:33,224 --> 00:03:34,974
Yeah, the Syracuse branch
can't be happy
99
00:03:35,008 --> 00:03:36,142
you're taking New York clients.
100
00:03:36,176 --> 00:03:38,528
Shh.
101
00:03:38,562 --> 00:03:42,848
Shh.
102
00:03:46,019 --> 00:03:50,022
[Retches]
103
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,691
[Gagging and spitting]
104
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,660
Robert...
105
00:03:53,694 --> 00:03:55,295
Why did Binghamton close?
106
00:03:55,329 --> 00:03:59,499
Can everyone just please...
107
00:03:59,533 --> 00:04:05,505
I had a one-man
saturnalia last night.
108
00:04:05,539 --> 00:04:08,391
In celebration of
the finalization of my divorce,
109
00:04:08,425 --> 00:04:11,227
I got into a case
of Australian reds
110
00:04:11,262 --> 00:04:15,732
and-- How should
I say this-- Columbian whites.
111
00:04:15,766 --> 00:04:17,216
[Chuckles]
112
00:04:17,234 --> 00:04:20,320
What-- what is this
about, uh, Binghamton?
113
00:04:20,354 --> 00:04:22,105
The branch closed.
114
00:04:22,156 --> 00:04:23,222
Forever.
115
00:04:25,192 --> 00:04:27,577
Closing the Binghamton branch
116
00:04:27,611 --> 00:04:29,362
never occurred to me
before today.
117
00:04:29,396 --> 00:04:32,898
Or, I guess, last night.
118
00:04:32,917 --> 00:04:35,618
But in vino veritas,
as they say.
119
00:04:35,669 --> 00:04:39,856
I'm not gonna start doubting
my drunken self now.
120
00:04:39,890 --> 00:04:44,344
I got your voicemail.
121
00:04:44,378 --> 00:04:48,348
From-- from last night.
122
00:04:48,382 --> 00:04:52,135
- Wonderful.
- And the answer...
123
00:04:52,186 --> 00:04:57,440
is yes, yes, yes, yes, and...
124
00:04:57,474 --> 00:04:59,074
Never.
125
00:05:05,816 --> 00:05:10,703
Pam, when's the last time
you lived so intensely
126
00:05:10,738 --> 00:05:13,790
that your brain literally
couldn't hold the memories in?
127
00:05:13,824 --> 00:05:15,458
Oh, it was
the summer--
128
00:05:15,492 --> 00:05:17,410
Apparently, I left
a phone message
129
00:05:17,444 --> 00:05:19,212
for Nellie last night,
130
00:05:19,246 --> 00:05:20,913
and I need you
to find out what I said.
131
00:05:20,947 --> 00:05:24,584
- Um, I am a little busy.
- Yes.
132
00:05:24,618 --> 00:05:26,219
'Course.
133
00:05:26,253 --> 00:05:28,954
Why don't you list the things
134
00:05:28,973 --> 00:05:32,091
that would keep you
from helping me.
135
00:05:32,125 --> 00:05:35,061
Yeah, I can make you a list.
136
00:05:35,095 --> 00:05:36,929
Let's do it now.
137
00:05:36,963 --> 00:05:39,649
What's number one?
138
00:05:39,683 --> 00:05:42,652
Why don't I help you now?
139
00:05:42,686 --> 00:05:44,020
- There we go.
- Okay.
140
00:05:49,142 --> 00:05:51,310
Who the hell are Jim Halpert
and Dwight Schrute?
141
00:05:51,328 --> 00:05:52,779
Jim, Dwight,
what are your last names?
142
00:05:52,813 --> 00:05:54,664
And you are?
143
00:05:54,698 --> 00:05:57,283
Harry Jannerone,
Dunder Mifflin Syracuse.
144
00:06:00,254 --> 00:06:03,506
What the hell's all this?
145
00:06:03,540 --> 00:06:06,926
Uh, cherries jubilee
over homemade gelato.
146
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,711
You live well down here in PA.
147
00:06:08,762 --> 00:06:11,047
I want to talk
to you guys right now.
148
00:06:11,098 --> 00:06:12,298
Oh, and Lloyd Gross too.
149
00:06:12,332 --> 00:06:14,851
Which one's that guy?
150
00:06:14,885 --> 00:06:16,602
The salesmen have
a commission cap,
151
00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:18,104
but we figured out
a way around it.
152
00:06:18,138 --> 00:06:20,506
Lloyd Gross is a fictional
salesman we invented
153
00:06:20,524 --> 00:06:23,526
to-- How do I put this--
Steal from the company.
154
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,177
Embezzle.
To commit fraud.
155
00:06:25,195 --> 00:06:27,680
Okay, it sounds sketchy,
but it helps us get more money.
156
00:06:27,698 --> 00:06:29,849
- Yes.
- Pam made a drawing of Lloyd.
157
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:33,953
He is a blend
of all the salesmen.
158
00:06:33,987 --> 00:06:36,656
There he is.
159
00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:37,740
That's Lloyd.
160
00:06:37,791 --> 00:06:38,825
Me?
161
00:06:38,859 --> 00:06:40,827
Yeah, you.
[Chuckles]
162
00:06:40,861 --> 00:06:42,528
Where do you get off
crossing State lines?
163
00:06:42,546 --> 00:06:46,416
Now, we're actually closer
to Binghamton than you are.
164
00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:47,800
Kimosabe.
165
00:06:47,835 --> 00:06:50,253
I like to think Lloyd Gross
is a no-nonsense guy
166
00:06:50,304 --> 00:06:52,755
who doesn't back down
from anybody.
167
00:06:52,806 --> 00:06:55,091
And he calls
people "kimosabe."
168
00:06:55,142 --> 00:06:57,176
They're New York.
We're New York.
169
00:06:57,210 --> 00:06:58,928
State line is
the dividing line.
170
00:06:58,979 --> 00:07:00,546
That's the way
it's always been.
171
00:07:00,564 --> 00:07:02,432
There's actually
not a rule that says that.
172
00:07:02,466 --> 00:07:03,716
- That's true.
- That's true.
173
00:07:03,734 --> 00:07:04,851
There's no rule.
174
00:07:04,885 --> 00:07:06,102
You can check
the employee handbook.
175
00:07:06,153 --> 00:07:08,187
Oh, can I check
the employee handbook, Lloyd?
176
00:07:08,221 --> 00:07:09,889
Well, does it say anything
about me choking a man
177
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:10,890
with my bare hands?
178
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,225
No.
179
00:07:13,243 --> 00:07:15,060
Wait, no?
Are you kidding me?
180
00:07:15,079 --> 00:07:16,579
You told me there was a rule.
181
00:07:16,613 --> 00:07:18,414
I could've choked
so many people by now.
182
00:07:18,449 --> 00:07:19,749
Stay out of my State.
183
00:07:19,783 --> 00:07:22,201
It's in your best interest
to stay out of my State.
184
00:07:22,235 --> 00:07:24,236
I've seen guys like you.
185
00:07:24,254 --> 00:07:26,622
Big guys who like to push
the little guys around.
186
00:07:26,673 --> 00:07:29,542
Lloyd Gross eats bullies
like you for breakfast.
187
00:07:30,761 --> 00:07:31,961
Just stay out
of New York, Lloyd.
188
00:07:32,012 --> 00:07:35,080
Hey, text from the old wife.
189
00:07:35,099 --> 00:07:36,799
Gonna take that.
190
00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:43,255
How about this?
How about we just ask Robert?
191
00:07:43,273 --> 00:07:45,541
Can we all agree that maybe
the CEO should decide this?
192
00:07:45,576 --> 00:07:48,361
Robert's here?
Look at us.
193
00:07:48,395 --> 00:07:51,197
Bickering like schoolgirls,
looking around the room
194
00:07:51,231 --> 00:07:53,032
for things to hit
each other with.
195
00:07:53,066 --> 00:07:54,867
I don't think
we were doing that.
196
00:07:54,902 --> 00:07:56,452
Chair, lamp, plant,
197
00:07:56,487 --> 00:07:59,104
table leg, Jim's leg.
198
00:07:59,123 --> 00:08:01,290
Where's the Advil, Jim?
199
00:08:01,325 --> 00:08:02,408
I think I've hit my limit
200
00:08:02,442 --> 00:08:05,077
- on the Tylenol-- Oh.
- Sorry, not Jim.
201
00:08:05,111 --> 00:08:07,046
Andrew, what do we have to do
to get rid of you?
202
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:10,282
Hire you back and send Erin
back to Florida?
203
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:13,136
Message received
loud and clear.
204
00:08:13,170 --> 00:08:14,971
Just have to get
the caramelized sugar
205
00:08:15,005 --> 00:08:16,839
- off the pan before it dries.
- Oh, for God--
206
00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:19,124
- Robert California.
207
00:08:19,143 --> 00:08:21,427
What a surprise
you're here in Scranton.
208
00:08:21,461 --> 00:08:23,229
- Harry.
- So...
209
00:08:23,263 --> 00:08:24,597
Why would you close
Binghamton down
210
00:08:24,631 --> 00:08:26,182
without a transition
plan in place?
211
00:08:26,233 --> 00:08:27,266
How do you mean?
212
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:29,468
I forgot a--
213
00:08:29,486 --> 00:08:30,803
- A pan, uh--
- No, no, no, no, no, kid,
214
00:08:30,821 --> 00:08:33,472
stay there, do your dishes,
go ahead.
215
00:08:33,490 --> 00:08:35,741
Harry, there is a time
for every decision,
216
00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:37,610
predetermined many years ago.
217
00:08:37,644 --> 00:08:39,028
There's no benefit
in questioning
218
00:08:39,079 --> 00:08:44,083
why this particular
decision seems...
219
00:08:44,117 --> 00:08:45,284
So poorly timed.
220
00:08:45,318 --> 00:08:48,204
Okay, what are you deciding?
We get a say.
221
00:08:48,255 --> 00:08:50,155
Listen, Robert,
I don't have time.
222
00:08:50,174 --> 00:08:51,591
There's a big client in play.
223
00:08:51,625 --> 00:08:53,570
- Prestige Direct Mail Solutions--
- Don't listen to him.
224
00:08:53,594 --> 00:08:54,889
- Used to be Binghamton's--
- Nope.
225
00:08:54,917 --> 00:08:56,390
- I want it, it's mine.
- Prestige is ours.
226
00:08:56,427 --> 00:08:57,542
Okay, they're
responsible for half
227
00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,071
of the junk mail
on the eastern seaboard.
228
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,557
We get them. We already
put a call into them, Robert.
229
00:09:01,577 --> 00:09:03,194
We need you to make a decision.
230
00:09:03,464 --> 00:09:05,365
- Make a decision.
- I have decided.
231
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:08,391
Neither of you are
to have any contact
232
00:09:08,442 --> 00:09:12,812
with either Prestige or any
other Binghamton client
233
00:09:12,846 --> 00:09:17,149
until I have figured out
how to divide things up.
234
00:09:17,183 --> 00:09:19,735
As Solomon once said...
235
00:09:23,123 --> 00:09:25,241
Some bizarre energy
in this place today.
236
00:09:25,292 --> 00:09:27,660
Robert is going off the rails,
237
00:09:27,694 --> 00:09:29,245
making some funky decisions.
238
00:09:29,296 --> 00:09:31,247
Like why is nobody
gonna call on Prestige?
239
00:09:31,298 --> 00:09:32,298
That is a huge client.
240
00:09:32,332 --> 00:09:34,133
I mean, they could give
their business
241
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:35,885
to the first person
to walk in the door.
242
00:09:35,919 --> 00:09:37,386
Could be any idiot.
243
00:09:37,421 --> 00:09:39,722
Any idiot at all.
244
00:09:41,409 --> 00:09:44,296
Shaping a company is in essence
245
00:09:44,319 --> 00:09:46,182
similar to training a geisha.
246
00:09:46,412 --> 00:09:49,481
You have to mold not merely
the physical form,
247
00:09:49,504 --> 00:09:51,171
but also the character.
248
00:09:51,192 --> 00:09:54,847
The two must harmonize.
249
00:09:55,196 --> 00:09:57,384
Are they still there?
250
00:09:57,649 --> 00:10:02,696
They want a decision
who gets the big client.
251
00:10:02,875 --> 00:10:04,792
Well, they can wait.
252
00:10:04,859 --> 00:10:06,852
I'll still be talking
about geishas
253
00:10:06,932 --> 00:10:09,510
long past their bedtime.
254
00:10:09,606 --> 00:10:11,657
You know, I trained as one.
255
00:10:12,026 --> 00:10:15,579
Is it just me or is our boss
a freakin' weirdo?
256
00:10:17,591 --> 00:10:20,294
I'm gonna get some air.
257
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:29,218
Jim, you know what would be
really dastardly?
258
00:10:29,264 --> 00:10:33,483
If we snuck out of here
and got to the client first.
259
00:10:33,922 --> 00:10:36,123
[Chuckling]
260
00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:46,139
He's running!
261
00:10:46,173 --> 00:10:47,361
Damn it!
262
00:10:47,401 --> 00:10:49,536
[Sighs] Damn it.
263
00:10:50,344 --> 00:10:52,352
Wha-- what is this
supposed to be?
264
00:10:52,414 --> 00:10:53,781
It's a monkey.
265
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:56,539
Jim, get real.
This is not a monkey.
266
00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:58,083
It's got a hula skirt
and a blue nose.
267
00:10:58,259 --> 00:10:59,593
Hold on, hold on.
Is this him?
268
00:10:59,627 --> 00:11:02,162
- What?
- Is that him?
269
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:03,547
It's him!
Do something! Get out!
270
00:11:03,598 --> 00:11:04,932
What? What am I gonna do?
I don't--
271
00:11:04,966 --> 00:11:06,333
Go slash his tires!
272
00:11:06,351 --> 00:11:07,968
Go dent his hood.
273
00:11:10,305 --> 00:11:12,272
That's it?
Oh, that's great.
274
00:11:12,307 --> 00:11:13,607
That's like
a five-second delay.
275
00:11:13,641 --> 00:11:15,175
- Dwight!
- Come on, let's go!
276
00:11:15,193 --> 00:11:17,511
Does this thing have turbo?
Nitrous?
277
00:11:17,529 --> 00:11:19,696
- Hit the Nos.
- Nos?
278
00:11:19,731 --> 00:11:21,064
You mean like
in Fast And Furious?
279
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:22,349
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah, definitely have Nos.
280
00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:23,984
- Hit the Nos.
- Are you sure?
281
00:11:24,018 --> 00:11:25,185
- Yes.
- Brace yourself.
282
00:11:25,203 --> 00:11:26,954
- 3... 2... 1.
- We got it. Go!
283
00:11:26,988 --> 00:11:29,289
Here we go!
284
00:11:33,661 --> 00:11:36,413
Hello.
Andy Bernard to see the CEO.
285
00:11:36,464 --> 00:11:37,831
Oh, do you have an appointment?
286
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:38,999
No, I do not.
287
00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:41,885
Okay, I think
I can squeeze you in.
288
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,371
Seriously?
289
00:11:44,389 --> 00:11:46,056
'Cause I could just be anyone.
290
00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:48,342
I mean, I thought I was gonna
have to convince you.
291
00:11:48,376 --> 00:11:50,093
He's really not that busy.
292
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,395
Is there someone here
to see me?
293
00:11:51,429 --> 00:11:52,879
Yes, this man.
294
00:11:52,897 --> 00:11:55,899
Come on in.
295
00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:02,773
So... What do you make
of this Robert California guy?
296
00:12:02,824 --> 00:12:06,026
I mean, what does a guy like
that do on an average weeknight?
297
00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:08,278
Oh. Oh, I'll tell you
what he does.
298
00:12:08,329 --> 00:12:10,998
Hello!
Hello, my clucking hens.
299
00:12:11,032 --> 00:12:13,867
Got room for another
in the roost? Huh?
300
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:16,620
Don't worry,
I won't lay an egg.
301
00:12:16,671 --> 00:12:19,873
Robert sent me to take over
if Pam fails.
302
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:23,243
If?
[Laughs]
303
00:12:23,261 --> 00:12:26,246
I have been crunching numbers
all day.
304
00:12:26,264 --> 00:12:32,085
Math is for boys.
I need girl talk.
305
00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:33,437
Did someone say girl talk?
306
00:12:35,089 --> 00:12:38,592
Sometimes I wonder
if I have ovaries in my scrotum,
307
00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:41,028
because I am great
at girl talk.
308
00:12:41,062 --> 00:12:44,147
Have you guys been watching
any good Korean soap operas?
309
00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:46,283
I'm pretty deep into
Hee-Jungcinderella Girl.
310
00:12:46,317 --> 00:12:47,934
Although, I definitely
fast-forward
311
00:12:47,952 --> 00:12:49,536
through the young-Tae
storylines.
312
00:12:49,571 --> 00:12:50,904
Do you think I'd like that,
313
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,489
or is it important to have
an Asian fetish?
314
00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:55,775
Uh, I think you're gonna need
to have an Asian fetish.
315
00:12:55,793 --> 00:12:57,077
Yeah.
[Chuckles]
316
00:12:57,111 --> 00:12:59,046
It'll be upsetting
if you don't.
317
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,497
I'm a former paper executive.
318
00:13:00,548 --> 00:13:02,382
I know the product.
I know the margins.
319
00:13:02,417 --> 00:13:05,285
I can save you 25%
on your costs.
320
00:13:05,303 --> 00:13:07,888
Why haven't I heard of you?
You got any references?
321
00:13:07,922 --> 00:13:10,390
No.
I'm a rogue.
322
00:13:10,425 --> 00:13:11,758
- Uh-huh.
- Which is the best part.
323
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:14,094
That means you will be
my first customer
324
00:13:14,128 --> 00:13:17,764
and your business will get
100% of my attention.
325
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:23,520
Now... I have written down
my personal phone number.
326
00:13:23,571 --> 00:13:25,572
You call this anytime.
327
00:13:25,607 --> 00:13:27,240
Every salesman I've ever met
328
00:13:27,275 --> 00:13:29,409
has given me
his personal phone number.
329
00:13:29,444 --> 00:13:31,612
Of course they have.
330
00:13:31,646 --> 00:13:37,250
Which is why I'm giving you
a key to my house.
331
00:13:38,453 --> 00:13:42,289
Whatever you need--
Anytime, night or day--
332
00:13:42,323 --> 00:13:44,157
You just stop on by.
333
00:13:44,175 --> 00:13:48,045
You want me to drive
to your house if I need paper.
334
00:13:48,096 --> 00:13:49,596
Maybe you just want someone
to talk to.
335
00:13:49,631 --> 00:13:52,265
Maybe... You need a place
to crash for a couple of days.
336
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:55,302
My wireless password
is eat, pray, love.
337
00:13:55,336 --> 00:13:56,970
Easy to remember.
338
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,805
Ready?
Go, go!
339
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:02,859
Go! Go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
340
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:14,121
Ahhh...
341
00:14:14,155 --> 00:14:16,623
[Yells]
342
00:14:18,159 --> 00:14:20,460
[Elevator dings]
343
00:14:20,495 --> 00:14:21,628
You all right?
344
00:14:21,663 --> 00:14:23,046
Yeah.
345
00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:27,584
- Oh.
- Ah!
346
00:14:36,844 --> 00:14:38,378
[Whispering]
Dwight, what are you doing?
347
00:14:38,396 --> 00:14:40,764
[Elevator thumps]
348
00:14:43,184 --> 00:14:44,718
Go, go!
Take the stairs! Now!
349
00:14:44,736 --> 00:14:46,186
- What are you talking about?
- Just run! Take the stairs!
350
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,320
I don't even know
where the stairs are.
351
00:14:47,355 --> 00:14:49,606
- I'll stall him. Go!
- God!
352
00:14:51,442 --> 00:14:54,111
What are you doing?
353
00:14:54,162 --> 00:14:56,997
I'm gonna activate
the seismic failsafe.
354
00:14:57,031 --> 00:15:01,334
We'll be stuck between floors
for hours.
355
00:15:02,787 --> 00:15:06,089
Oh.
356
00:15:06,124 --> 00:15:07,958
My pants fell down.
What?
357
00:15:08,009 --> 00:15:11,411
My pants fell down!
I don't have a belt!
358
00:15:12,430 --> 00:15:13,630
Hello, sir.
Good day.
359
00:15:13,681 --> 00:15:15,265
Dwight K Schrute.
Dunder Mifflin, Scranton.
360
00:15:15,299 --> 00:15:16,633
Forgive my pants,
they fell down.
361
00:15:16,684 --> 00:15:18,185
An appointment
with Mr. Ramish, please.
362
00:15:18,219 --> 00:15:19,970
Now is fine.
No, no, no, I was here first.
363
00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:21,521
Dwight K Schrute.
Dunder Mifflin, Scranton.
364
00:15:21,556 --> 00:15:23,807
- What's going on?
- Mr. Ramish.
365
00:15:23,858 --> 00:15:25,976
Harry Jannerone.
Dunder Mifflin, Syracuse.
366
00:15:26,027 --> 00:15:28,061
Oh, oh. Okay.
367
00:15:28,092 --> 00:15:29,716
I already made an appointment
with your secretary.
368
00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:30,761
Let me stop you all right here.
369
00:15:30,784 --> 00:15:32,618
I've already picked
a new paper supplier.
370
00:15:32,845 --> 00:15:34,179
Wait, it's not DM Utica, is it?
371
00:15:34,212 --> 00:15:36,804
No, no, it's not
Dunder Mifflin at all actually.
372
00:15:36,826 --> 00:15:39,911
- It's... Big Red Paper Company.
- Big Red Paper Company?
373
00:15:40,158 --> 00:15:42,576
Mm-hmm.
374
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,852
Yes, yes, yes!
375
00:15:46,681 --> 00:15:48,848
- Give me a cup of coffee.
- Me too.
376
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,778
Or do you also
have a monopoly on thirst?
377
00:15:50,794 --> 00:15:51,723
All right, guys.
378
00:15:51,769 --> 00:15:52,933
It didn't work out
for any of us.
379
00:15:52,949 --> 00:15:54,842
So... We're still
on the same team.
380
00:15:54,869 --> 00:15:57,041
- Let me get these.
- No.
381
00:15:57,191 --> 00:15:59,809
Let him get his own.
He's got Syracuse money.
382
00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:02,094
You know, your partner's got
a lotta attitude.
383
00:16:02,112 --> 00:16:04,814
But I like that.
How long you guys been dating?
384
00:16:04,865 --> 00:16:06,932
Jim couldn't land me
in a thousand years.
385
00:16:06,950 --> 00:16:08,117
But you're saying
there's a chance.
386
00:16:08,152 --> 00:16:10,119
[Harry laughing] Shut up.
387
00:16:11,455 --> 00:16:14,657
- Hey.
- Hmm?
388
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:21,414
- I stole Nellie's phone.
- Excellent. Excellent.
389
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:24,750
Though troubling that your
first instinct is thievery.
390
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,469
What do you want from me?
391
00:16:26,503 --> 00:16:28,087
Now we get to the bottom
of Nellie's
392
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,672
"yes, yes, yes, yes. Never."
393
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:31,557
[Chime]
Woman: Hello, Nell, it's mom.
394
00:16:31,592 --> 00:16:32,809
Keep your chin up.
395
00:16:32,843 --> 00:16:34,727
It can't possibly be as bad
as you described.
396
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:38,130
[Chuckling] Oh, yes, it can.
397
00:16:38,148 --> 00:16:40,233
[Chime]
Man: This is MasterCard.
398
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,484
You are over the limit.
399
00:16:41,518 --> 00:16:44,353
Send the minimum payment
of $448 by Monday
400
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,572
or we will be forced
to send it to collections.
401
00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:49,325
- Shopaholic.
- Sounds like it.
402
00:16:49,359 --> 00:16:51,110
Yeah.
[Chime]
403
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:53,830
Man: Hi, sis. Is your boss
still hitting on you?
404
00:16:53,864 --> 00:16:55,314
[Nervous chuckle]
405
00:16:55,332 --> 00:16:56,666
Ah.
406
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:57,783
[Chime]
407
00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,418
Woman: This is Annie
from Second Nests.
408
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:02,387
I'm sorry but the Romanian
orphanage felt more comfortable
409
00:17:02,402 --> 00:17:04,276
with a two-person
nuclear family
410
00:17:04,299 --> 00:17:05,450
than a single mother.
411
00:17:05,493 --> 00:17:06,643
So we're gonna hold out
for that.
412
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:07,818
Okay, that's enough.
413
00:17:07,841 --> 00:17:09,161
Pam, we need to get
to the bottom of this.
414
00:17:09,179 --> 00:17:10,596
- No, no, no!
- No, come on.
415
00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:11,881
Robert!
[Chime]
416
00:17:11,932 --> 00:17:13,266
Okay, oops!
I deleted them all.
417
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,517
They're all deleted.
418
00:17:14,551 --> 00:17:16,886
Pam, Pam.
You've completely bungled this!
419
00:17:16,937 --> 00:17:21,307
Ah.
Ahh.
420
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,192
[Door opens, closes]
421
00:17:23,227 --> 00:17:26,479
- Hmm.
- Hey.
422
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:27,846
Can I do it, Pam?
423
00:17:27,865 --> 00:17:30,950
Can I pull off
a gold Arabian sandal?
424
00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:33,819
Um... Yes. Definitely.
425
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,354
- With your hair--
- Oh!
426
00:17:35,372 --> 00:17:36,539
Certainly.
427
00:17:36,573 --> 00:17:37,907
Um... You dropped
your cell phone.
428
00:17:37,958 --> 00:17:39,458
- Oh! Gosh.
- Yep.
429
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,911
Thank you.
I'm... So stupid.
430
00:17:41,962 --> 00:17:44,697
No. My goodness.
You have a lot going on.
431
00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:46,048
With Robert and everything.
432
00:17:46,083 --> 00:17:48,701
Oh, God, Pam.
Don't get me started.
433
00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:51,203
- No, I will not.
- You've just got me started.
434
00:17:51,221 --> 00:17:55,758
Robert... Is...
A filthy beast.
435
00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:57,610
[Sigh]
436
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:58,895
I mean, don't you get
the feeling,
437
00:17:58,929 --> 00:18:00,546
every time he looks at you,
438
00:18:00,564 --> 00:18:03,065
he's just thinking
of 15 different ways to do you?
439
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:04,400
Well--
440
00:18:04,434 --> 00:18:07,219
- I mean, the man talks
of nothing but sex.
441
00:18:07,237 --> 00:18:12,692
But sometimes he talks about
flesh... And bacchanals.
442
00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:15,995
I cannot even tell you what
he left on my phone last night.
443
00:18:16,029 --> 00:18:21,951
No... Don't.
Just put it out of your mind.
444
00:18:22,002 --> 00:18:24,620
Pam, what is your address?
445
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:27,290
I'm gonna send you a pair
of these gold harem shoes.
446
00:18:27,341 --> 00:18:29,175
Oh, no.
You don't--
447
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,343
Oh, yes.
448
00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:33,346
Come on, a little
gold Arabian slipper.
449
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,548
Things are looking up.
450
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:39,385
I might be a mother soon.
451
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:43,055
I have MasterCard
right where I want them.
452
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:47,693
And...
I have a new friend.
453
00:18:47,728 --> 00:18:50,863
A friend.
454
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,232
At work.
455
00:18:55,769 --> 00:18:56,953
Erin.
456
00:18:56,987 --> 00:18:59,372
There's a call for you
on line one.
457
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:00,573
Who is it?
458
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:04,160
He says Salvation.
No last name.
459
00:19:06,630 --> 00:19:08,047
Yeah, hello?
460
00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:10,883
You once put me on a list
of the losers in the office.
461
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:13,952
Well, this loser just got
your biggest client
462
00:19:13,971 --> 00:19:15,721
to give him all their business.
463
00:19:15,756 --> 00:19:17,974
So hire me back,
that business is yours.
464
00:19:18,008 --> 00:19:20,977
Don't, and I will find
another buyer.
465
00:19:21,011 --> 00:19:22,261
You're blackmailing me.
466
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:25,765
- It's just business.
- Ah, well.
467
00:19:25,799 --> 00:19:29,268
I will not be blackmailed by
some ineffectual, privileged,
468
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,320
effete, soft-penised
debutante.
469
00:19:31,355 --> 00:19:32,688
You wanna start
a street fight with me,
470
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,106
bring it on.
471
00:19:34,141 --> 00:19:36,025
But you're gonna be surprised
by how ugly it gets.
472
00:19:36,076 --> 00:19:37,943
You don't even know
my real name.
473
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,779
I'm the fucking Lizard King.
474
00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:43,649
[Slams phone]
475
00:19:43,667 --> 00:19:44,867
Whoa.
476
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:54,627
Well, I gave him a chance.
477
00:20:01,018 --> 00:20:03,302
- Andy Bernard.
- You got a minute?
478
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:06,022
Um... I'm in the middle
of a piano lesson.
479
00:20:06,056 --> 00:20:09,775
I wanted to see if I could
interest you in an investment.
480
00:20:09,810 --> 00:20:10,976
Dunder Mifflin.
481
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,312
Dunder Mifflin.
482
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,681
Now... Why would I want that?
483
00:20:15,699 --> 00:20:17,283
It's worth half what it was
three years ago.
484
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:18,868
Exactly.
485
00:20:18,902 --> 00:20:21,070
And you know better than anyone
that with the right management,
486
00:20:21,121 --> 00:20:24,857
it could be worth twice
what you would pay for it today.
487
00:20:28,829 --> 00:20:31,831
Why don't you come in?
488
00:20:37,976 --> 00:20:40,003
So what would you do
if you weren't selling paper?
489
00:20:40,035 --> 00:20:41,869
Oh, man,
I'd have to sell beets.
490
00:20:42,185 --> 00:20:43,786
Probably submit them
for competitions.
491
00:20:43,821 --> 00:20:45,154
- What?
- Yeah!
492
00:20:45,188 --> 00:20:46,162
I know it sounds stupid,
493
00:20:46,177 --> 00:20:48,014
but nationals has always
kinda been a dream of mine.
494
00:20:48,042 --> 00:20:50,910
How have we never talked
about this before?
495
00:20:51,374 --> 00:20:54,715
Wait. You don't even care
about nationals.
496
00:20:56,268 --> 00:20:57,600
Nothing?
497
00:20:58,041 --> 00:21:00,530
I don't know, I've always wanted
to own a bike shop, but...
498
00:21:00,582 --> 00:21:01,650
What about you?
499
00:21:03,075 --> 00:21:05,232
I'd like to sell one
big thing, you know?
500
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:09,661
Like... a plane.
One sell, I'm out.
501
00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:11,854
That sounds lovely.
502
00:21:12,142 --> 00:21:14,644
Anyway, Robert is gonna run this
company to the ground...
503
00:21:14,832 --> 00:21:16,079
So...
504
00:21:17,114 --> 00:21:18,837
We won't be doing
this in six months.
505
00:21:24,652 --> 00:21:31,146
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
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