1
00:00:05,279 --> 00:00:06,929
Argh!
2
00:00:08,561 --> 00:00:09,728
D'oh!
3
00:00:09,991 --> 00:00:10,958
(tires screech)
4
00:00:11,174 --> 00:00:12,908
(grunts)
5
00:00:13,248 --> 00:00:16,050
ANNOUNCER:
Raise your cards now.
6
00:00:17,470 --> 00:00:19,338
Ooh...
7
00:00:19,405 --> 00:00:20,939
HOMER: Whoo-hoo!
(whistle blows)
8
00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:24,440
♪ The Simpsons 23x20 ♪
The Spy Who Learned Me
Original Air Date on May 6, 2012
9
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:27,941
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
10
00:00:27,942 --> 00:00:32,228
(espionage-style music plays)
11
00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:48,255
HOMER: Now that's what I call
going for a spin!
12
00:00:49,643 --> 00:00:50,917
(grunts)
13
00:00:50,948 --> 00:00:54,150
Now that's what I call
a snappy retort!
14
00:00:54,312 --> 00:00:56,847
Stop saying
what you call things!
15
00:00:56,898 --> 00:00:58,332
I'm trying to watch the movie!
16
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,868
Welcome to annual conclave of
17
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,770
International Brotherhood
of Evil.
18
00:01:02,837 --> 00:01:06,407
This year's theme: "Evil in the
Age of Social Media."
19
00:01:06,474 --> 00:01:08,375
We have prepared
three breakout rooms
20
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:09,910
for small group discussion.
21
00:01:09,978 --> 00:01:11,545
CROWD:
(applauds) Here, here!
22
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:14,481
These small rooms
are an excellent way
23
00:01:14,549 --> 00:01:16,784
for villains to mingle
with super-villains.
24
00:01:16,851 --> 00:01:19,086
But are you sure
we will not be bothered
25
00:01:19,154 --> 00:01:22,311
by the American master-spy
Stradivarius Cain?
26
00:01:22,336 --> 00:01:23,524
(gasps and murmuring)
27
00:01:23,525 --> 00:01:25,759
Do not worry about Doctor Cain.
28
00:01:25,827 --> 00:01:28,228
The last I saw him,
my beautiful mistress
29
00:01:28,313 --> 00:01:30,064
was about to finish him off.
30
00:01:30,148 --> 00:01:32,766
Yes, that's what I did.
31
00:01:32,851 --> 00:01:34,935
You killed him, right?
32
00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:37,037
Yes, he was
the perfect lover...
33
00:01:37,105 --> 00:01:39,273
of being killed!
34
00:01:39,341 --> 00:01:41,725
It's a weird sentence,
but let's move on.
35
00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:45,195
My baker has prepared an edible
monument to Cain's demise.
36
00:01:45,246 --> 00:01:47,247
(crowd chatters)
37
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:49,099
Party's over, General.
38
00:01:49,167 --> 00:01:50,601
Stradivarius Cain?!
39
00:01:50,669 --> 00:01:52,619
No...!
40
00:01:52,687 --> 00:01:56,890
He turned that Russian guy
into Swiss cheese!
41
00:01:56,958 --> 00:01:58,392
Homer!
44
00:02:03,515 --> 00:02:05,799
Lucky you, Marge!
You get to hear 'em the loudest!
45
00:02:05,867 --> 00:02:07,634
You've ruined me for other men!
46
00:02:07,719 --> 00:02:09,336
That's my hobby.
47
00:02:09,404 --> 00:02:12,573
This is my job.
48
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,776
Looks like that guy's got
turret's syndrome!
49
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,761
(both laugh)
50
00:02:17,829 --> 00:02:20,464
I couldn't have thought of that
in 10,000 lifetimes!
51
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:23,500
(groans)
52
00:02:23,568 --> 00:02:27,504
(Homer chuckles)
53
00:02:27,572 --> 00:02:31,408
(chuckling continues)
54
00:02:35,580 --> 00:02:38,165
Swiss cheese...
55
00:02:38,233 --> 00:02:40,384
Marge, how come you're
not saying anything?
56
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,853
There was enough talking
during the movie.
57
00:02:42,921 --> 00:02:45,122
This date night was even worse
than the date night
58
00:02:45,190 --> 00:02:47,391
we saw Date Night.
(grunts)
59
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,760
Oh man, Marge is pissed.
60
00:02:49,811 --> 00:02:51,595
HOMER: Look at her...
flaring her nostrils...
61
00:02:51,646 --> 00:02:53,230
drumming her fingers...
62
00:02:53,297 --> 00:02:54,648
making small noises like
63
00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:56,133
she's yelling at me
inside her head...
64
00:02:56,184 --> 00:02:58,068
(short multiple grunts)
65
00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,970
Just take me home!
66
00:03:00,038 --> 00:03:01,572
That's what she said!
67
00:03:03,358 --> 00:03:05,909
LENNY: Another good one!
CARL: You're on fire...!
68
00:03:07,095 --> 00:03:08,562
(whines)
69
00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:11,231
(tires screech)
70
00:03:11,299 --> 00:03:12,633
SKINNER (megaphone):
Attention, students:
71
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,785
In order to cut down
on the rash of
72
00:03:14,853 --> 00:03:16,920
embarrassing YouTube videos
of our teachers,
73
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,923
we will be scanning you and
taking away your smartphones.
74
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:23,444
(kids grumbling)
75
00:03:23,511 --> 00:03:24,878
KID: Make sure
I get this back.
76
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,666
A new low.
(sighs)
77
00:03:29,717 --> 00:03:32,603
I should've taken that
superintendent job in Honduras.
78
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:35,522
My own donkey, all the sugarcane
I could suck...
79
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:38,759
if only I could stomach the
upside-down question marks.
80
00:03:40,562 --> 00:03:42,146
Hm... Hm?!
81
00:03:43,298 --> 00:03:44,565
(humming)
82
00:03:44,632 --> 00:03:46,733
Hey Simpson. Let me
save you the trouble
83
00:03:46,801 --> 00:03:49,636
of putting that money
back in your pocket.
84
00:03:49,704 --> 00:03:50,587
NELSON:
Haw-haw!
85
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,676
Stupid Nelson!
I hate that guy.
86
00:03:55,743 --> 00:03:59,413
My mom says bullies only bully
'cause they're scared.
87
00:03:59,497 --> 00:04:00,564
NELSON:
Your mom's next!
88
00:04:00,632 --> 00:04:03,167
You make dumb kids, lady.
89
00:04:03,234 --> 00:04:04,735
Hm?
90
00:04:04,803 --> 00:04:07,471
Hm.
91
00:04:09,774 --> 00:04:11,108
(crow caws)
92
00:04:11,176 --> 00:04:13,410
(electricity buzzing)
Boy, Homer, I gotta say,
93
00:04:13,478 --> 00:04:15,312
Marge looked pretty easy
on the eyes last night.
94
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,281
And I know eye-ease!
95
00:04:17,348 --> 00:04:18,715
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
96
00:04:18,783 --> 00:04:20,017
Trouble in paradise?
97
00:04:20,084 --> 00:04:22,252
No, just my marriage.
98
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:23,554
BOTH: Woo...
99
00:04:23,621 --> 00:04:24,855
(whines)
100
00:04:24,923 --> 00:04:28,392
Honey, it's me again.
101
00:04:28,459 --> 00:04:31,261
I can't work knowing
that you're mad at me.
102
00:04:31,329 --> 00:04:33,030
I just wanna hear your voice.
103
00:04:33,097 --> 00:04:35,866
And I'm counting the minutes
till the whistle blows,
104
00:04:35,934 --> 00:04:38,785
then I go to Moe's,
then I rush home to you.
105
00:04:38,853 --> 00:04:42,539
(tires screech) Ooh! Explain this
infernal wheel to me again.
106
00:04:42,590 --> 00:04:44,575
Left for left, right for right!
107
00:04:44,642 --> 00:04:46,143
Enough of your double-talk!
108
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,847
(yelling)
109
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:50,797
(grunting)
110
00:04:50,882 --> 00:04:51,949
(shouting, grunts)
111
00:04:55,381 --> 00:04:57,448
Excellent.
He's alive.
112
00:04:57,492 --> 00:05:00,162
Smithers, give this man
one Ibuprofen,
113
00:05:00,191 --> 00:05:02,826
uncoated, and send him back
to his workstation.
114
00:05:02,855 --> 00:05:05,791
Sir, Simpson has sustained a
serious concussion.
115
00:05:05,818 --> 00:05:08,687
Recent research says you must
give him time off to recover.
116
00:05:08,795 --> 00:05:09,862
Oh, pish.
117
00:05:09,931 --> 00:05:12,132
When I was in Africa, I had my
skull cracked open
118
00:05:12,161 --> 00:05:14,351
by cannibals,
and I'm still kicking!
119
00:05:14,368 --> 00:05:16,036
Sir, that was your partner.
120
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,714
You betrayed him
to the cannibals.
121
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:18,877
(chuckling):
Oh, that's right.
122
00:05:18,906 --> 00:05:21,508
I have his memories
because I ate his brain.
123
00:05:21,547 --> 00:05:23,734
Mr. Burns, you have to
give this man something.
124
00:05:23,893 --> 00:05:26,643
He could sue us for all we've got!
Mm...
125
00:05:26,741 --> 00:05:30,174
Fine. Eight weeks off
with pay.
126
00:05:30,283 --> 00:05:32,384
(shrieks) That's a good thing.
127
00:05:32,452 --> 00:05:34,653
But you said it so mean.
128
00:05:34,721 --> 00:05:36,421
(tires screech)
129
00:05:36,489 --> 00:05:37,556
(chuckles)
130
00:05:37,623 --> 00:05:39,191
Eight weeks paid vacation,
131
00:05:39,242 --> 00:05:41,443
and all because of
a little bump on the noggin.
132
00:05:41,511 --> 00:05:42,344
(liquid trickling)
133
00:05:42,412 --> 00:05:44,179
(grunts)
134
00:05:45,848 --> 00:05:48,283
Hey, Marge, here's something
that'll make you happy!
135
00:05:48,368 --> 00:05:49,384
Not in the mood!
136
00:05:49,452 --> 00:05:51,036
No, this is really good.
I...
137
00:05:51,104 --> 00:05:53,171
Nelson took
my lunch money again.
138
00:05:53,239 --> 00:05:54,690
Now, listen, Lisa...
(saxophone playing)
139
00:05:54,757 --> 00:05:57,292
Hold that thought.
I'm tuning my saxophone.
140
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,628
(blows note) Sharp.
(blows note) Flat.
141
00:05:59,696 --> 00:06:01,997
(blows note) Sharp. (blows note) Flat.
No one will tell me if
142
00:06:02,065 --> 00:06:05,033
I'm a ghost or not!
Well, I just got...
143
00:06:11,140 --> 00:06:13,108
(heart beating)
144
00:06:13,192 --> 00:06:14,960
Got what, Homer?
145
00:06:15,028 --> 00:06:16,928
Uh...
I got...
146
00:06:16,996 --> 00:06:20,032
Shelbyville radio
in my car for a few minutes.
147
00:06:20,099 --> 00:06:22,551
(groans) Homer,
I'm a single mother
148
00:06:22,618 --> 00:06:24,302
trying to raise a family here.
149
00:06:24,370 --> 00:06:26,355
But you're not...
Just zip it!
150
00:06:26,422 --> 00:06:31,059
(all complaining)
151
00:06:31,127 --> 00:06:33,628
I have eight weeks
paid vacation,
152
00:06:33,713 --> 00:06:34,963
and my family doesn't know.
153
00:06:35,048 --> 00:06:36,131
Whoo-hoo.
154
00:06:40,778 --> 00:06:43,870
Honey, I'm off to work!
155
00:06:44,101 --> 00:06:45,601
You know...
156
00:06:45,623 --> 00:06:47,090
maybe I should call in sick.
157
00:06:47,127 --> 00:06:49,962
We could visit all
our old romantic haunts
158
00:06:49,991 --> 00:06:53,193
that have closed and turned into
temporary Halloween stores.
159
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,331
I have to take Maggie
for her checkup.
160
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:58,434
And a guy's coming to see what
the smell is under the house.
161
00:06:58,479 --> 00:07:00,646
I get it. You need
your Marge time.
162
00:07:00,870 --> 00:07:05,641
(sighs) Well, I'm...
off to work.
163
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,849
(giggling)
164
00:07:08,899 --> 00:07:09,697
(grunts)
165
00:07:09,703 --> 00:07:11,136
FLANDERS:
Ow! Ow!
166
00:07:11,337 --> 00:07:13,493
My feet hurt,
and my neck is cold.
167
00:07:13,549 --> 00:07:14,947
(grunts)
168
00:07:14,983 --> 00:07:16,697
KRABAPPEL:
(yawns) Children,
169
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:18,642
I didn't get
much sleep last night,
170
00:07:18,674 --> 00:07:21,976
because I was up late again,
lamenting the choices I've made.
171
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:25,153
Haw-haw!
You can't change the past.
172
00:07:25,202 --> 00:07:27,804
Just for that, you can go
to the principal's office,
173
00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:30,549
while the rest of the class
enjoys... a movie day.
174
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,384
(cheering, gunfire)
175
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:37,356
Krustyburger: Every day
thousands of people
176
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:40,325
wolf down his "kwazy cuisine"
177
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,327
thinking they're getting
the nutrients
178
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:45,163
a human being needs to live.
179
00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:47,516
But for 30 days, this reporter
180
00:07:47,583 --> 00:07:51,086
ate nothing but this
joker's deck of carbs.
181
00:07:51,154 --> 00:07:52,604
And I say:
182
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:55,607
(thunder rumbles)
183
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:58,243
Do you want lies with that?
184
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:07,235
Oh great. Another documentary
making me look like a scuzzbag.
185
00:08:07,303 --> 00:08:08,770
What is it this time?
186
00:08:08,838 --> 00:08:11,440
That the town I sponsor in
Africa doesn't exist?
187
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:13,942
Prove it!
Film all of Africa!
188
00:08:15,511 --> 00:08:18,280
Day 12:
I've gained 20 pounds.
189
00:08:18,347 --> 00:08:20,098
As for my cholesterol...
190
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,417
It's bad. You can just
scrape it right off.
191
00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:29,908
But still I soldier on
with my "Laffy Meal."
192
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:32,944
(grunting and gagging)
193
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:36,848
(humming)
194
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:39,284
Hey, this is all
above-board.
195
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,488
DESMOND:
One month
196
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:45,690
of eating Krustyburger
197
00:08:45,758 --> 00:08:48,844
and nothing else
has transformed me
198
00:08:48,911 --> 00:08:52,948
into a morbidly obese,
toilet-busting American.
199
00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:54,766
If I don't have
some kind of nugget
200
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,152
every five minutes, I'll die.
201
00:08:59,322 --> 00:09:01,123
I'm so weak...
202
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:03,742
I can't even fill out
this application
203
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,094
for "Documentary Film Oscar."
204
00:09:09,365 --> 00:09:10,766
DESMOND:
But it'll be worth it
205
00:09:10,833 --> 00:09:16,521
if my suffering teaches Krusty
the value of proper nutrition.
206
00:09:16,589 --> 00:09:19,608
You're gonna be my
breakfast English sausage!
207
00:09:19,675 --> 00:09:21,276
(crazy laugh)
208
00:09:21,344 --> 00:09:29,918
(Erik Satie's
Gymnopedies 3 For Piano plays)
209
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:32,687
Hm...
210
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:36,641
(Bart chuckles)
211
00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:38,660
Man, when you're not at work,
212
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:42,013
you see so many
beautiful things.
213
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:48,086
(Irlandaise - Claude Bolling
Suite For Flute & Jazz Piano Trio)
214
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,259
(snoring)
215
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,962
(choking)
216
00:09:57,029 --> 00:09:58,864
(snoring)
217
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:02,200
(Homer chuckles) And now,
because it's afternoon,
218
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:07,172
I can go to Moe's without having
a "drinking problem." (chuckles)
219
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,373
(beer pouring)
220
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,008
Hey, Homer.
I could hear your
221
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:12,077
pathetic rationalizing
through the door.
222
00:10:12,144 --> 00:10:14,613
Well, why can't I
hang out at the bar all day?
223
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,314
My wife doesn't want to
be with me.
224
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:18,049
Look, I'd love to discuss
your problems,
225
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,318
but a pack of raccoons
took over my back room
226
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:22,504
and today's the day
I make my stand.
227
00:10:22,572 --> 00:10:24,155
(wild screaming,
raccoons chittering)
228
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:26,358
MOE: Aah! Aah!
There's more than I thought!
229
00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:37,969
I wish I could
pull down my zipper
230
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:39,437
and that guy would come out.
231
00:10:39,505 --> 00:10:41,640
CAIN: Stranger things
have happened, Homer.
232
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:42,624
(screams)
233
00:10:42,692 --> 00:10:44,926
Stradivarius Cain!
234
00:10:44,994 --> 00:10:48,129
What the...?
Am I losing my marbles?
235
00:10:48,197 --> 00:10:49,965
No, I'm just
an illusion caused by
236
00:10:50,032 --> 00:10:51,766
the concussion you suffered
at the plant.
237
00:10:51,834 --> 00:10:54,302
Can I put my hand through you?
238
00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:55,637
If you want.
239
00:10:55,705 --> 00:10:57,439
C'mon... really?
240
00:10:57,506 --> 00:10:59,040
Show a little class.
241
00:10:59,108 --> 00:11:00,575
Sorry.
242
00:11:00,643 --> 00:11:03,595
Now I'm about to undertake
my toughest mission ever:
243
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,698
To make you into a man
your wife can't resist.
244
00:11:11,053 --> 00:11:12,404
What the...?
No one can see you!
245
00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:14,839
Other people's imaginary
friends can see me.
246
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,892
(groans)
247
00:11:16,959 --> 00:11:19,761
Hello, Dr. Cain.
248
00:11:19,829 --> 00:11:21,880
Hello, Hufnpuffalus.
249
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:25,650
Sorry I slept
with your girlfriend.
250
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:27,519
You did me a favor, man.
251
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,271
(Nelson humming)
252
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:32,307
Lunch money, lunch money,
lunch money.
253
00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:33,408
Hey, Lis.
254
00:11:33,476 --> 00:11:35,477
Nelson, don't you want
my lunch money?
255
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:38,496
Nah. Chicks wind up
getting all your money anyway.
256
00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:40,699
That's sexist, but thank you.
257
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,984
Now I gotta go liberate some
cash from your brother.
258
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:44,336
Well, if you must.
259
00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:46,988
See if you can find out
where my dolls are.
260
00:11:47,056 --> 00:11:48,573
You might not like the answer.
261
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,175
I just want closure.
262
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,062
Simpson, you know why I'm here.
263
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:57,399
Nelson, I could give you
my lunch money...
264
00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,834
or I could give you...
265
00:11:59,902 --> 00:12:01,436
Lunch?
266
00:12:01,504 --> 00:12:03,238
Actual lunch?!
267
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:05,273
Look at all them burgers
and fries.
268
00:12:05,341 --> 00:12:07,509
I didn't know they served
these things warm!
269
00:12:07,576 --> 00:12:10,812
Aw... they feel
like a baby's head.
270
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,482
I just thank God you didn't take
my coupons.
271
00:12:14,550 --> 00:12:15,850
Got enough for a month.
272
00:12:15,918 --> 00:12:18,486
Free hamburger?!
Mmm-mmm-mmm!
273
00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:20,021
No, you give them the coupon,
274
00:12:20,089 --> 00:12:21,456
and they give you
the hamburger.
275
00:12:21,524 --> 00:12:22,958
I knew that.
276
00:12:23,025 --> 00:12:24,626
(chuckles)
277
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,268
I must say, whoever installed
278
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:37,238
your car's secret weapons
did a great job hiding them.
279
00:12:37,306 --> 00:12:40,508
Yeah, Dr. Cain, the thing
about that is...
280
00:12:40,576 --> 00:12:43,011
uh, there aren't any weapons.
281
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:46,848
What?! Well, does your car at
least turn into something else?
282
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:50,051
Sometimes Marge says I turn it
into a trashcan.
283
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:52,404
Hmm... (groans).
284
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:54,272
Homer, you are going
to clean up this car,
285
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:57,475
put on cologne, and become
a sparkling conversationalist.
286
00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,327
Sounds like you're turning
into wife number two.
287
00:12:59,395 --> 00:13:00,678
I can do that.
288
00:13:01,564 --> 00:13:03,615
So, stick with Marge!
289
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:04,949
(Homer gasping)
290
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:07,285
Whoa, what's going on
there, Lou?
291
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:08,887
Well, if you ask me, Chief...
292
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,422
(low groan)
293
00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:12,023
All right, what does this mean?
294
00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,493
Childhood obesity...
295
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,295
(chuckles)
it's not funny anymore!
296
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:20,632
Breakfast cereals where the
surprise inside is diabetes
297
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,001
and soda cups the size
of hot tubs
298
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:26,404
have made every state
Mississippi-fat.
299
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,073
Mmm-mmm!
300
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,442
(gasps) That's Nelson!
301
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:33,478
No, you're imagining things.
302
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,213
What else you got?
303
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,115
Just bubbling oil.
304
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:39,384
Stand back and give me a straw.
305
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,820
(gasps)
306
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:44,489
Now, the ultimate test:
307
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:48,193
I want you to convince...
that woman
308
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:51,296
to give herself to you
body and soul.
309
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,431
But I'm a married man.
310
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,934
Yeah, I know.
A married man is never attracted
311
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,002
to a beautiful woman
he doesn't even know,
312
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:01,339
but this will give you the
confidence you need with Marge.
313
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:05,110
Okay, I'll make
a stranger love me forever.
314
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,078
And Homer, remember:
315
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:08,580
It doesn't matter what you say
316
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:11,583
as long as you say it
with confidence.
317
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:12,884
Mm-hmm!
318
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:16,704
My dear, did you just
fall from heaven?
319
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:19,691
'Cause your hair looks
really messed up.
320
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,209
Okay, it matters
a little what you say.
321
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,594
Moving on...
322
00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,312
You know what wood
makes the best
323
00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:26,381
ventriloquist dummy?
Maple.
324
00:14:29,218 --> 00:14:32,620
How many hardboiled eggs
do you think I can eat?
325
00:14:32,688 --> 00:14:36,174
(groans) Look, just say this:
326
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,276
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Mm!
327
00:14:38,327 --> 00:14:39,944
When I was in special ops,
328
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,946
they held me in
an Afghan prison
329
00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:45,216
where all I could see
was a patch of blue sky.
330
00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:46,951
But that blue was
nothing compared
331
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:50,021
to the blue of your eyes.
332
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:53,591
Oh... I am a sucker
for articulate fatsos.
333
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,527
Homer looks over at Cain, who
smiles and nods.
334
00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:56,594
(giggles)
335
00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:58,263
MAN:
What is this?
336
00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:00,899
I leave for two seconds
to get chocolate martinis,
337
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:04,502
and my wife is expertly seduced
by this pork empanada!
338
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,137
(gasps) What do I do?
339
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:08,273
Squirt that lemon in his eye!
340
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:10,475
You think a lemon
will stop me?!
341
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:14,312
A lime! No...!
342
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,813
(laughing)
343
00:15:17,566 --> 00:15:19,801
Did you see the guy?
344
00:15:21,604 --> 00:15:23,304
(humming)
345
00:15:23,372 --> 00:15:25,340
Marge, what brings you
to the S.N.P.P.?
346
00:15:25,407 --> 00:15:27,509
Homie's been working so hard.
347
00:15:27,576 --> 00:15:29,511
I thought I'd bring him
a special lunch.
348
00:15:29,578 --> 00:15:31,146
Marge, you're a blue angel.
349
00:15:31,213 --> 00:15:33,114
And I'm not talking ' about
those pilots that hot dog in
350
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,049
an air show while the real men
are in combat.
351
00:15:35,117 --> 00:15:37,352
But I gotta ask:
Where's Homer working?
352
00:15:37,419 --> 00:15:39,220
Here, right?
353
00:15:39,288 --> 00:15:41,389
Not since Burns gave him
that time off.
354
00:15:41,457 --> 00:15:43,358
What is this? Week six?
What?!
355
00:15:43,425 --> 00:15:46,461
I knew there was a reason
he was leaving on time!
356
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,696
Oh, I can't believe this!
357
00:15:50,466 --> 00:15:51,599
(tires squeal)
358
00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:52,967
What'd you say to her?
359
00:15:53,011 --> 00:15:53,857
I don't know.
360
00:15:53,873 --> 00:15:55,674
I thought I was
making small talk.
361
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:58,547
But it turned out
to be big talk.
362
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:06,122
(Krusty, chimpanzee
grunting loudly)
363
00:16:08,327 --> 00:16:09,838
What?!
Krusty!
364
00:16:09,853 --> 00:16:11,572
This once-vibrant
young bully
365
00:16:11,606 --> 00:16:13,942
won't even live to pick on kids
in junior high!
366
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,223
Because he's been eating
nothing but your food!
367
00:16:16,262 --> 00:16:17,836
Atta boy!
368
00:16:17,889 --> 00:16:19,356
(coughs)
369
00:16:19,495 --> 00:16:22,122
Got any fries, man?
I just need a couple.
370
00:16:22,153 --> 00:16:24,121
Not my responsibility.
371
00:16:24,147 --> 00:16:25,786
He didn't have
to order that crap.
372
00:16:25,835 --> 00:16:28,558
We've got yogurt
and salad on the menu!
373
00:16:28,635 --> 00:16:30,903
Do you actually serve
those items?
374
00:16:30,963 --> 00:16:33,690
No. Mmm...
375
00:16:34,643 --> 00:16:37,213
All right, kid,
to make this right,
376
00:16:37,276 --> 00:16:39,965
I'm gonna hook you up
with my personal trainer.
377
00:16:40,004 --> 00:16:43,465
Billy, get this kid
into superhero shape!
378
00:16:43,514 --> 00:16:45,462
Hugh Jackman Wolverine?
379
00:16:45,492 --> 00:16:46,926
I'm not made of money.
380
00:16:46,978 --> 00:16:49,349
Alicia Silverstone Batgirl?
381
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,298
He's that now.
382
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,061
(tires screech)
383
00:16:54,762 --> 00:16:57,413
(humming)
384
00:16:57,459 --> 00:16:58,436
(gasps)
385
00:16:58,477 --> 00:17:00,093
Busy day at work?
386
00:17:00,154 --> 00:17:03,323
Did you get a lot
of work done, workerman?
387
00:17:03,726 --> 00:17:05,022
What do I do?
What do I do?!
388
00:17:05,061 --> 00:17:07,646
Take her by those shoulders
she never covers
389
00:17:07,669 --> 00:17:09,436
and tell her the truth.
390
00:17:09,879 --> 00:17:11,504
You're right, Marge, I lied.
391
00:17:11,542 --> 00:17:13,793
Don't give me
that load of... Huh?
392
00:17:13,845 --> 00:17:15,338
I got a head injury at work,
393
00:17:15,371 --> 00:17:17,458
and they gave me eight
weeks paid vacation.
394
00:17:17,629 --> 00:17:20,154
Head injury?!
Why didn't you tell me?
395
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,361
And I spent all
that time learning
396
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,254
how to be a better husband.
397
00:17:24,303 --> 00:17:25,937
The kind of husband you deserve.
398
00:17:25,989 --> 00:17:27,881
Wha...?
399
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:30,365
Kiss her.
Kiss her while I watch.
400
00:17:31,439 --> 00:17:32,366
(gasps)
401
00:17:32,402 --> 00:17:33,836
(both moaning)
402
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,572
Mmm...
403
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,124
HOMER:
The three of us are going
404
00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:41,993
to the most romantic restaurant
in town.
405
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:45,330
This car's so clean!
406
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,650
I'm not getting flea bites
on my ankles!
407
00:17:48,717 --> 00:17:51,369
I have bug-bombed
the car for m'lady.
408
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:52,787
(giggles)
409
00:17:54,455 --> 00:17:55,322
MARGE:
Whoo!
410
00:17:56,015 --> 00:17:56,882
Whoo!
411
00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:58,493
(grunts)
412
00:17:58,561 --> 00:17:59,577
(gasps)
413
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:01,529
(groans)
414
00:18:01,597 --> 00:18:04,315
We meet again!
415
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:05,950
Looking for this?
416
00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:17,572
He won't be out for long.
Flee, my love!
417
00:18:17,623 --> 00:18:18,873
(panting)
418
00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:20,608
Why is he trying to kill you,
419
00:18:20,659 --> 00:18:22,627
and why did she call
you her love?
420
00:18:22,711 --> 00:18:23,944
It was all a training exercise
421
00:18:23,996 --> 00:18:25,463
to make me smooth for you.
422
00:18:25,547 --> 00:18:26,631
Of course, she fell for me,
423
00:18:26,715 --> 00:18:28,115
and of course,
I wanted no part of her.
424
00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:31,235
Now the only one who can help us
is Stradivarius Cain.
425
00:18:31,303 --> 00:18:32,470
The guy from the movie?
426
00:18:32,538 --> 00:18:33,571
I'll explain later.
427
00:18:33,639 --> 00:18:35,406
Strad, come back!
428
00:18:35,474 --> 00:18:36,841
I know you're in there!
429
00:18:36,909 --> 00:18:37,892
No.
430
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,127
Not you.
431
00:18:39,194 --> 00:18:41,062
Big fan, but no.
432
00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:43,364
Cleatus the football robot,
you're my only hope!
433
00:18:43,432 --> 00:18:45,433
(Fox NFL theme plays)
434
00:18:51,907 --> 00:18:52,707
No one likes you!
435
00:18:52,775 --> 00:18:54,142
(machinery whirs)
436
00:18:54,209 --> 00:18:56,794
DRUG LORD: How can a
fat man hide so well?
437
00:18:58,897 --> 00:19:01,182
(hushed):
Strad, where are you?
438
00:19:03,485 --> 00:19:05,219
You can handle him, Homer.
439
00:19:05,287 --> 00:19:08,923
Just remember
what I taught you.
440
00:19:08,991 --> 00:19:10,825
When I was in special ops,
441
00:19:10,893 --> 00:19:12,360
they held me in
an Afghan prison
442
00:19:12,428 --> 00:19:15,329
where all I could see was
a patch of blue sky.
443
00:19:15,397 --> 00:19:16,864
But that blue was
nothing compared
444
00:19:16,932 --> 00:19:20,101
with the blue of your eyes.
445
00:19:20,169 --> 00:19:22,837
I cannot kill a poet like you.
446
00:19:22,905 --> 00:19:25,173
And you are a very lucky woman.
447
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,042
This is why I always say
"mingle at parties."
448
00:19:28,110 --> 00:19:30,278
It's how I met Greg Kinnear.
449
00:19:30,345 --> 00:19:32,180
Ay! With the
Greg Kinnear again.
450
00:19:32,247 --> 00:19:33,581
Can't friends talk
about friends?
451
00:19:33,649 --> 00:19:35,082
He is not your friend!
452
00:19:35,150 --> 00:19:37,602
Then why did he say he'd call me
when he comes to Bolivia?
453
00:19:37,669 --> 00:19:39,637
(sighs)
454
00:19:39,705 --> 00:19:41,272
We used to be like them.
455
00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:42,607
Mmm.
456
00:19:44,293 --> 00:19:46,544
So, how many more weeks
do you have off?
457
00:19:46,628 --> 00:19:48,796
Actually, I was supposed
to be back last week.
458
00:19:48,864 --> 00:19:50,214
(laughs)
459
00:19:50,299 --> 00:19:54,031
We'll just wait for the call
from Human Resources.
460
00:19:59,334 --> 00:20:01,853
I guess my work here is done.
461
00:20:02,171 --> 00:20:08,293
But Stradivarius Cain will
return in "Lisa Gets a B Plus."
462
00:20:08,378 --> 00:20:10,178
(gunshot)
463
00:20:10,246 --> 00:20:13,048
I knew you were mad at me.
464
00:20:13,116 --> 00:20:15,702
At the risk
of inflaming Sister Fate,
465
00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:19,342
this bully-free period
has been an Arcadian idyll!
466
00:20:19,422 --> 00:20:20,856
Here, here!
Idyll!
467
00:20:20,923 --> 00:20:22,290
(gasping)
468
00:20:22,358 --> 00:20:23,508
Ha-ha!
469
00:20:23,576 --> 00:20:24,526
(grunts)
470
00:20:24,593 --> 00:20:27,713
(gasping, clamoring)
471
00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:29,748
(Nelson, kids grunting)
472
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:38,169
I administer with this nose.
473
00:20:38,652 --> 00:20:40,737
This is a happy ending?
474
00:20:40,821 --> 00:20:43,639
Well, he's tough on nerds,
but easy on the eyes.
475
00:20:43,707 --> 00:20:44,770
What'd you just say?
476
00:20:44,823 --> 00:20:46,017
Nothing.
477
00:20:46,363 --> 00:20:52,980
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
478
00:21:32,756 --> 00:21:34,590
Shh!