1 00:00:00,734 --> 00:00:03,138 Look at us. Still together as a group 2 00:00:03,139 --> 00:00:06,141 even, what, two months after being kicked out 3 00:00:06,142 --> 00:00:08,643 of you know where. 4 00:00:08,644 --> 00:00:09,844 Yeah, good thing I came up 5 00:00:09,845 --> 00:00:11,263 with this idea for potluck dinners. 6 00:00:11,264 --> 00:00:12,864 Pierce, all you said was, "I'm hungry." 7 00:00:12,865 --> 00:00:14,616 All Henry Ford said was, "I need a ride." 8 00:00:14,617 --> 00:00:17,202 Troy, is that a casserole? 9 00:00:17,203 --> 00:00:18,403 It's bagel bites 10 00:00:18,404 --> 00:00:19,538 in a deconstructed hot pocket reduction 11 00:00:19,539 --> 00:00:20,739 with a doritos glaze. 12 00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:22,991 I just really want to make my food, you know. 13 00:00:22,992 --> 00:00:26,044 Did anybody bring anything that isn't poison? 14 00:00:26,045 --> 00:00:28,914 I need to eat natural, organic foods, 15 00:00:28,915 --> 00:00:31,399 or I'm never gonna get rid of this hangover. 16 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,667 Jeff, what'd you bring? 17 00:00:32,668 --> 00:00:34,503 Pack of lifesavers. 18 00:00:35,538 --> 00:00:37,055 Sorry. Dead battery. 19 00:00:37,056 --> 00:00:38,706 Where's Abed? 20 00:00:38,707 --> 00:00:40,175 Have you seen Abed? 21 00:00:40,176 --> 00:00:42,661 He's probably out getting something really cool 22 00:00:42,662 --> 00:00:44,212 for the dinner. 23 00:00:44,213 --> 00:00:50,185 See? Cool. Abed brought delicious police. 24 00:00:50,186 --> 00:00:52,154 Abed, what happened? 25 00:00:52,155 --> 00:00:53,522 Found your friend going through the dumpster 26 00:00:53,523 --> 00:00:55,723 outside the administration building in Greendale again. 27 00:00:55,724 --> 00:01:00,162 This cadet could use a lesson in intergalactic protocol. 28 00:01:00,163 --> 00:01:01,279 It's okay, officer. 29 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,398 He's just playing a character from TV. 30 00:01:03,399 --> 00:01:06,535 Oh, yes, I'm very familiar with Inspector Spacetime. 31 00:01:06,536 --> 00:01:07,569 You think a guy becomes a cop 32 00:01:07,570 --> 00:01:09,204 because his prom night was a dream? 33 00:01:09,205 --> 00:01:12,124 If this were comic-con, I'd take a bullet for that kid. 34 00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:14,593 But, here in the real world, trespassing is a crime. 35 00:01:14,594 --> 00:01:15,760 We're sorry, officer. 36 00:01:15,761 --> 00:01:18,013 Our friend has been having a hard time 37 00:01:18,014 --> 00:01:21,349 adjusting to being expelled from Greendale. 38 00:01:21,350 --> 00:01:23,335 It won't happen again. That's for sure. 39 00:01:23,336 --> 00:01:26,421 I talked to your former Dean. I recommended he press charges. 40 00:01:26,422 --> 00:01:27,522 He said he'd hold off 41 00:01:27,523 --> 00:01:29,757 on the condition that you set an appointment with this guy. 44 00:01:32,728 --> 00:01:34,112 It's the number for a psychiatrist. 45 00:01:34,113 --> 00:01:36,264 What? No. Abed's not crazy. 46 00:01:36,265 --> 00:01:38,533 Where does the Dean get off? He's not the real Dean. 47 00:01:38,534 --> 00:01:40,402 He's been replaced by an identical life-form 48 00:01:40,403 --> 00:01:41,853 for some nefarious purpose. 49 00:01:41,854 --> 00:01:43,738 Reggie, to the time booth. 50 00:01:43,739 --> 00:01:45,790 We haven't much... space. 51 00:01:45,791 --> 00:01:48,910 I'll be right there, inspector. 52 00:01:48,911 --> 00:01:51,613 Hey, before I go, you really shouldn't be using this 53 00:01:51,614 --> 00:01:53,381 to prop open your building's door. 54 00:01:53,382 --> 00:01:54,883 This is an antique fire brick. 55 00:01:54,884 --> 00:01:56,501 I'd say pre-civil war. 56 00:01:56,502 --> 00:02:00,255 Note the uneven orange hue and the embossment on the back. 57 00:02:00,256 --> 00:02:02,307 What a nifty little piece of americana. 58 00:02:02,308 --> 00:02:06,061 You could get 50, 60 bucks for it from the right collector. 59 00:02:06,062 --> 00:02:07,796 I watch a lot of antiques roadshow. 60 00:02:07,797 --> 00:02:10,081 Oh. 61 00:02:10,082 --> 00:02:13,068 Anyway, walk to your cars in pairs tonight. 62 00:02:13,069 --> 00:02:15,954 Rape's up 8%. 63 00:02:17,473 --> 00:02:20,909 $60? 64 00:02:20,910 --> 00:02:23,361 Hello? Rich people, Troy's joining you. 65 00:02:23,362 --> 00:02:24,913 Yes, I'll hold. 66 00:02:24,914 --> 00:02:28,867 ♪ Give me some more tie me to dream ♪ 67 00:02:28,868 --> 00:02:31,786 ♪ give me the hope to run out of steam ♪ 68 00:02:31,787 --> 00:02:35,307 ♪ somebody said it can be here ♪ 69 00:02:35,308 --> 00:02:39,294 ♪ we could be roped up tied up, dead in a year ♪ 70 00:02:39,295 --> 00:02:44,499 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 71 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:48,720 ♪ one by one, they all just fade away ♪ 72 00:02:48,721 --> 00:02:51,673 Sync & corrections by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com 73 00:02:58,147 --> 00:02:59,514 Abed. 74 00:02:59,515 --> 00:03:00,932 I'm Dr. Heidi. 75 00:03:00,933 --> 00:03:02,651 We're going to have a little chat tonight, 76 00:03:02,652 --> 00:03:03,902 you and I. How does that sound? 77 00:03:03,903 --> 00:03:05,186 I don't need therapy. 78 00:03:05,187 --> 00:03:07,355 Well, that's a perfectly normal response. 79 00:03:07,356 --> 00:03:09,457 I concur with Dr. Heidi's diagnosis. 80 00:03:09,458 --> 00:03:11,126 I haven't diagnosed anything yet. 81 00:03:11,127 --> 00:03:12,794 Psych major. Got your back, brah. 82 00:03:14,163 --> 00:03:19,334 I have to say, I didn't expect to see so many of you. 83 00:03:19,335 --> 00:03:21,720 Abed won't go to any kind of doctor on his own. 84 00:03:21,721 --> 00:03:22,721 We caught him last year 85 00:03:22,722 --> 00:03:24,489 trying to remove his own tonsils. 86 00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:26,641 Well, why don't you let me take it from here? 87 00:03:26,642 --> 00:03:27,826 You have to understand about Abed. 88 00:03:27,827 --> 00:03:29,711 He's usually, you know, adorable weird, 89 00:03:29,712 --> 00:03:32,330 like mork from ork, but, since we got expelled, 90 00:03:32,331 --> 00:03:35,183 he's been creepy weird, like present-day Robin Williams. 91 00:03:35,184 --> 00:03:37,218 - I'm not crazy. - Well, Abed, 92 00:03:37,219 --> 00:03:39,187 I don't deal in crazy. 93 00:03:39,188 --> 00:03:41,222 I deal in health. Hmm. 94 00:03:41,223 --> 00:03:44,859 So how long has Abed needed a crazy amount of help? 95 00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:53,234 All of this behavior started after you were expelled? 96 00:03:53,235 --> 00:03:56,087 There may have been a ramp-up. 97 00:03:58,007 --> 00:04:00,208 It's okay, buddy. 98 00:04:00,209 --> 00:04:02,210 Just a few more minutes, and we're good until spring, okay? 99 00:04:02,211 --> 00:04:03,745 But it doesn't make any sense. 100 00:04:03,746 --> 00:04:05,013 Think of it this way. 101 00:04:05,014 --> 00:04:07,349 We get the hour back later in the year. 102 00:04:07,350 --> 00:04:10,352 Yeah. 103 00:04:10,353 --> 00:04:12,020 I rented "Tower Heist" last night, 104 00:04:12,021 --> 00:04:13,588 and I won't spoil the ending, but let me tell you, 105 00:04:13,589 --> 00:04:15,774 it was quite the hilarious Thrill Ride. 106 00:04:15,775 --> 00:04:19,311 That Brett Ratner, he's a master at comedic action-adventure. 107 00:04:19,312 --> 00:04:21,980 Mm. A master at storytelling. 108 00:04:21,981 --> 00:04:24,232 He's just a master at making movies in general. 109 00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:26,601 I'm gonna say it. He's the new Spielberg. 110 00:04:26,602 --> 00:04:29,771 Oh! 111 00:04:29,772 --> 00:04:31,489 I have to go. Excuse me. 112 00:04:31,490 --> 00:04:33,408 Okay. 113 00:04:33,409 --> 00:04:39,280 You're a bad person. You're a bad person. 114 00:04:39,281 --> 00:04:42,417 Time enough at last to eat a sandwich. 115 00:04:42,418 --> 00:04:43,968 Though even he knew that this sandwich 116 00:04:43,969 --> 00:04:45,920 was nearer his last sandwich than his first. 117 00:04:45,921 --> 00:04:47,055 Abed, I'm trying to eat. 118 00:04:47,056 --> 00:04:48,556 He said, oldly, 119 00:04:48,557 --> 00:04:49,957 his brittle bones straining to support the weight 120 00:04:49,958 --> 00:04:53,094 of his wrinkly skin. 121 00:04:53,095 --> 00:04:55,463 Stop narrating me. 122 00:04:55,464 --> 00:04:56,648 He shouted to no one, 123 00:04:56,649 --> 00:04:57,982 just a man alone in time with nothing 124 00:04:57,983 --> 00:05:00,402 but the cold squishiness of tuna salad to comfort him. 125 00:05:00,403 --> 00:05:01,853 I take it back. 126 00:05:01,854 --> 00:05:03,822 I don't want to be in your novel. 127 00:05:03,823 --> 00:05:05,973 Pierce Hawthorne had nearly lost his grip on reality. 128 00:05:05,974 --> 00:05:07,742 Lately, he'd begun to think he was in a novel. 129 00:05:07,743 --> 00:05:11,363 And action. 130 00:05:11,364 --> 00:05:13,314 Abed, what the hell are you doing? 131 00:05:13,315 --> 00:05:14,982 Cut. We got it. One more for safety. 132 00:05:14,983 --> 00:05:16,217 Abed, it's 4:30 in the morning, 133 00:05:16,218 --> 00:05:17,485 and you're in my bedroom. 134 00:05:17,486 --> 00:05:18,486 Use that. Okay. 135 00:05:18,487 --> 00:05:20,255 And action. 136 00:05:20,256 --> 00:05:23,324 But that's almost completely nearly all of it. 137 00:05:23,325 --> 00:05:25,210 If Abed is as sick as you all say, 138 00:05:25,211 --> 00:05:26,544 then I have no... Wait a minute. 139 00:05:26,545 --> 00:05:29,163 Nobody in this room gets to define sick. 140 00:05:29,164 --> 00:05:30,298 I do. 141 00:05:30,299 --> 00:05:31,766 I'm a psychiatrist. 142 00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,802 Any kind of doctor can really. 143 00:05:33,803 --> 00:05:35,002 - Really? - Yes. 144 00:05:35,003 --> 00:05:36,304 Well, if Abed's sick, 145 00:05:36,305 --> 00:05:38,606 then we're all sick. Yeah. 146 00:05:38,607 --> 00:05:40,225 You can't determine a person's sanity 147 00:05:40,226 --> 00:05:41,843 from a few amusing stories. 148 00:05:41,844 --> 00:05:43,278 - Exactly. - That's right. 149 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:45,980 I mean, if anything, Abed's more sane than any of us. 150 00:05:45,981 --> 00:05:47,014 Yeah. Well. 151 00:05:47,015 --> 00:05:49,868 I mean, he's certainly the craziest one of us, 152 00:05:49,869 --> 00:05:54,906 but, you know, we're all kind of crazy-town banana pants. 153 00:05:54,907 --> 00:05:57,375 Talk to me about crazy-town banana pants. 154 00:05:57,376 --> 00:05:59,043 Look, we're just saying it's been a crazy year 155 00:05:59,044 --> 00:06:00,178 for everybody. 156 00:06:00,179 --> 00:06:02,080 Who among us hasn't had the odd banana 157 00:06:02,081 --> 00:06:03,581 in his or her pants, right? 158 00:06:03,582 --> 00:06:05,199 I have. 159 00:06:12,258 --> 00:06:16,644 How long does peyote last? Just asking for a friend. 160 00:06:16,645 --> 00:06:20,548 ♪ Troy and Abed and Annie in the morning ♪ 161 00:06:20,549 --> 00:06:21,816 What are you doing? 162 00:06:21,817 --> 00:06:23,151 Nothing. 163 00:06:23,152 --> 00:06:24,285 Nothing my ass. 164 00:06:24,286 --> 00:06:26,220 What are all these cameras doing here? 165 00:06:30,659 --> 00:06:32,994 Here, take my coat. 166 00:06:32,995 --> 00:06:34,446 Oh. 167 00:06:34,447 --> 00:06:36,331 Thank you. 168 00:06:36,332 --> 00:06:38,900 That's so sweet. 169 00:06:38,901 --> 00:06:40,869 Just don't eat anything or drink anything, 170 00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:43,872 and no sweating or bending at the elbows, 171 00:06:43,873 --> 00:06:46,741 and no chairs with backrests, and if you take it off, 172 00:06:46,742 --> 00:06:50,512 wooden hangers only. 173 00:06:50,513 --> 00:06:52,580 You're probably warm now, right? 174 00:06:56,385 --> 00:06:57,685 Good news, guys. 175 00:06:57,686 --> 00:06:59,103 I spent all my money. 176 00:06:59,104 --> 00:07:00,755 Troy, you can't bring that in here. 177 00:07:00,756 --> 00:07:02,590 Yes, I can. It's all-terrain, dummy. 178 00:07:02,591 --> 00:07:04,309 I made a plate of cookies for the study group, 179 00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:05,610 but my boys ate them, 180 00:07:05,611 --> 00:07:07,395 so since they took something of yours, 181 00:07:07,396 --> 00:07:09,314 you all get something of theirs. 182 00:07:09,315 --> 00:07:11,115 Elijah loves this, Britta. 183 00:07:11,116 --> 00:07:12,767 There you go, Jeff. There you go, Troy. 184 00:07:12,768 --> 00:07:14,769 There you go, Pierce. 185 00:07:14,770 --> 00:07:18,122 Karate championship, second place! 186 00:07:18,123 --> 00:07:19,874 Now I'll be unstoppable. 187 00:07:19,875 --> 00:07:22,109 Oyay! 188 00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:23,745 So you see what you call insanity 189 00:07:23,746 --> 00:07:25,497 we call solidarity. 190 00:07:25,498 --> 00:07:26,714 I'm sorry. 191 00:07:26,715 --> 00:07:28,800 We just finished telling him about it, 192 00:07:28,801 --> 00:07:30,134 and you grab it and squeeze it? 193 00:07:30,135 --> 00:07:32,119 - I said I was sorry. - Uh-huh. 194 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,173 And so as a group, do you always indulge Abed 195 00:07:35,174 --> 00:07:37,291 in these little misadventures? 196 00:07:37,292 --> 00:07:38,426 Take that back. 197 00:07:38,427 --> 00:07:43,297 Our adventures are very manly. 198 00:07:43,298 --> 00:07:44,799 I have to say there's more important 199 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,768 to mental health than a support system. 200 00:07:46,769 --> 00:07:48,436 And assuming that this group is, 201 00:07:48,437 --> 00:07:51,055 for Abed, said support system, 202 00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:53,107 I think I've heard everything I need to hear 203 00:07:53,108 --> 00:07:55,226 in order to make a decision. 204 00:07:55,227 --> 00:07:57,462 I think that Abed should be committed. 205 00:07:59,131 --> 00:08:01,983 You mean committed to his character work, right? 206 00:08:01,984 --> 00:08:04,318 Because he already is. Abed, show him your Don Draper. 207 00:08:04,319 --> 00:08:05,753 Cigarettes. 208 00:08:05,754 --> 00:08:09,040 No, I mean an institution. 209 00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:10,725 You mean like marriage? 210 00:08:10,726 --> 00:08:12,210 I mean a mental institution. 211 00:08:12,211 --> 00:08:14,112 Ah. So do I. 212 00:08:14,113 --> 00:08:16,164 Will someone please help me lighten the mood? 213 00:08:20,871 --> 00:08:23,104 Please, Mr. Dr. psychiatrist, sir, 214 00:08:23,105 --> 00:08:26,742 please don't send my best friend to crazy people jail. 215 00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:28,243 Relax. He doesn't have the right. 216 00:08:28,244 --> 00:08:29,461 Abed's not dangerous. 217 00:08:29,462 --> 00:08:32,197 Yeah, he's just unique, like a snowflake 218 00:08:32,198 --> 00:08:33,532 who gets bent out of shape 219 00:08:33,533 --> 00:08:35,167 when you mix up Star Wars and space treks. 220 00:08:35,168 --> 00:08:37,269 Or a serial killer's signature. 221 00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:38,720 I'm a psych major. 222 00:08:38,721 --> 00:08:41,156 His continued obsession with Greendale Community College 223 00:08:41,157 --> 00:08:43,142 suggests the potential for escalation. 224 00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:45,060 And, frankly, these stories you've been telling me 225 00:08:45,061 --> 00:08:46,395 are very troubling. 226 00:08:46,396 --> 00:08:47,729 You're troubled? 227 00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:49,481 I don't remember any of those things happening. 228 00:08:49,482 --> 00:08:51,800 Since when do these three live together? 229 00:08:51,801 --> 00:08:53,134 Look, Abed's obsession with Greendale 230 00:08:53,135 --> 00:08:54,236 doesn't make him crazy. 231 00:08:54,237 --> 00:08:55,437 If you had gone to school there, 232 00:08:55,438 --> 00:08:56,638 you'd be obsessed with it too. 233 00:08:56,639 --> 00:08:58,157 It was a messed-up place. 234 00:08:58,158 --> 00:08:59,558 We had lockers. Yeah. 235 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:01,193 We're survivors. 236 00:09:03,279 --> 00:09:05,480 My name is Pwofussa Wobinswin. 237 00:09:05,481 --> 00:09:07,866 Who's weady to wearn? 238 00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:11,453 Dean, this is not the way to agree on parking 239 00:09:11,454 --> 00:09:13,989 for the job fair! It's inhumane. 240 00:09:13,990 --> 00:09:15,457 You have a better idea, Britta? 241 00:09:15,458 --> 00:09:18,260 Yes. Thousands of them. 242 00:09:18,261 --> 00:09:21,046 Vicki to Queen 3. 243 00:09:21,047 --> 00:09:22,998 Neigh. 244 00:09:28,938 --> 00:09:31,840 That's all for today. Read chapter four. 245 00:09:35,562 --> 00:09:37,946 Okay, we're just gonna ignore that. 246 00:09:49,209 --> 00:09:50,409 - Bananas? - Yes. 247 00:09:50,410 --> 00:09:51,860 - Toast? - Yes. 248 00:09:51,861 --> 00:09:53,579 - Bubble gum? - Yes. 249 00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:55,030 - Pancakes? - Yes. 250 00:09:55,031 --> 00:09:58,000 - Fries? - Get out. 251 00:09:58,001 --> 00:10:00,302 Get out. 252 00:10:00,303 --> 00:10:03,472 There's one every year. I will not tolerate clowning. 253 00:10:03,473 --> 00:10:05,040 - Car keys? - Yes. 254 00:10:05,041 --> 00:10:10,679 Okay, last bathroom break. We've got to cram for... 255 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:13,381 Excuse me, sir, can we get to our... 256 00:10:16,019 --> 00:10:17,769 Slow your bones, Rufus. 257 00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:20,388 We got a long road tomorrow. 258 00:10:21,407 --> 00:10:23,742 Welcome... 259 00:10:27,163 --> 00:10:28,864 to ladders. 260 00:10:31,334 --> 00:10:33,502 Interesting. 261 00:10:33,503 --> 00:10:34,836 Eh. 262 00:10:34,837 --> 00:10:37,039 Just wanted to see if we got the same thing. 263 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,241 It sounds as though this Greendale had quite an effect 264 00:10:40,242 --> 00:10:41,460 on all of you. 265 00:10:41,461 --> 00:10:43,295 You should all definitely stop dwelling on it 266 00:10:43,296 --> 00:10:44,346 if you want to be healthy. 267 00:10:44,347 --> 00:10:46,682 Well, come on, it wasn't all bad. 268 00:10:46,683 --> 00:10:48,934 I was there longer than anybody, and I'm fine. 269 00:10:48,935 --> 00:10:50,102 How are you? 270 00:10:50,103 --> 00:10:51,553 Why do you ask? 3:30. 271 00:10:51,554 --> 00:10:53,772 Uh-oh. 272 00:10:53,773 --> 00:10:54,806 What Pierce was saying 273 00:10:54,807 --> 00:10:57,059 before he started sundowning is true. 274 00:10:57,060 --> 00:10:59,394 We can't just pass the crazy buck to Greendale. 275 00:10:59,395 --> 00:11:01,029 It could be a good place too. 276 00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:02,097 That really doesn't matter. 277 00:11:02,098 --> 00:11:03,448 Yeah, we have a lot of memories 278 00:11:03,449 --> 00:11:05,200 of Greendale being in our corner. 279 00:11:05,201 --> 00:11:06,285 Dean-a-ling. 280 00:11:06,286 --> 00:11:07,569 I just wanted to drop by 281 00:11:07,570 --> 00:11:09,488 and tell you we ought to be hot-stepping it out 282 00:11:09,489 --> 00:11:12,440 to the parking lot in a brisk, but orderly fashion. 283 00:11:12,441 --> 00:11:13,492 Is there a fire drill? 284 00:11:13,493 --> 00:11:15,043 No, sir, there's an actual fire. 285 00:11:15,044 --> 00:11:16,578 I wanted you guys to be the first to know 286 00:11:16,579 --> 00:11:17,879 before I tell everyone else. 287 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:19,715 I know. It's not right to play favorites, 288 00:11:19,716 --> 00:11:21,466 but it is no more right to sit on your feelings, 289 00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:23,001 and I don't know what I'd do without you guys. 290 00:11:23,002 --> 00:11:24,136 Whoa. 291 00:11:24,137 --> 00:11:26,421 Okay, fire, fire! There's a fire! 292 00:11:35,732 --> 00:11:36,932 Darcy, you've got a cold. 293 00:11:36,933 --> 00:11:39,467 - I feel fine. - You're sick. Go home! 294 00:11:39,468 --> 00:11:40,852 Get out of here. Get out of here. 295 00:11:40,853 --> 00:11:42,738 Get out of here. Get out of here! 296 00:11:42,739 --> 00:11:45,574 I can't believe we got here too late for pizza. 297 00:11:45,575 --> 00:11:47,308 Worst pizza day ever. 298 00:11:47,309 --> 00:11:48,610 Oh, darn it. 299 00:11:48,611 --> 00:11:53,281 What am I gonna do with all this garbage? 300 00:11:53,282 --> 00:11:56,618 Psst, it's me, the Dean. 301 00:11:56,619 --> 00:12:00,655 I pulled the last six pieces of pizza for you. 302 00:12:00,656 --> 00:12:02,624 Ohh. 303 00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:04,876 Back to garbage detail. 304 00:12:04,877 --> 00:12:07,662 We have a few students with birthdays today, 305 00:12:07,663 --> 00:12:09,765 but, hey, why single them out? 306 00:12:09,766 --> 00:12:10,899 What about the students 307 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,517 who aren't celebrating anything at all? 308 00:12:12,518 --> 00:12:15,137 Are they any less special? 309 00:12:16,439 --> 00:12:18,673 ♪ Troy and Jeffrey ♪ 310 00:12:18,674 --> 00:12:20,609 ♪ and Annie and Britta ♪ 311 00:12:20,610 --> 00:12:22,144 ♪ and Shirley and Pierce ♪ 312 00:12:22,145 --> 00:12:24,229 ♪ and Abed and Jeffrey ♪ 313 00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:29,785 ♪ just a few of the most special students in the world ♪ 314 00:12:31,487 --> 00:12:33,989 Damn it. Out of slugs. 315 00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:36,158 Next time, I'll put you square, 316 00:12:36,159 --> 00:12:39,027 you pickle-sucking MacGillycuddy. 317 00:12:39,028 --> 00:12:41,663 Why did you save me, Dean? 318 00:12:41,664 --> 00:12:44,883 I know how important paintball is to you, Abed. 319 00:12:44,884 --> 00:12:46,501 I wanted you to win. 320 00:12:46,502 --> 00:12:48,637 It's not important anymore. I get it now. 321 00:12:48,638 --> 00:12:51,039 It just feels forced. 322 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,541 You just enjoy your prize... 323 00:12:53,542 --> 00:12:56,478 Free tickets to... 324 00:12:56,479 --> 00:12:58,379 to see 'Chicago" at the Greendale Civic Center... 325 00:13:00,382 --> 00:13:04,653 with George Wendt and... 326 00:13:04,654 --> 00:13:09,024 Stefanie Powers. 327 00:13:10,326 --> 00:13:14,830 Lame! 328 00:13:14,831 --> 00:13:16,314 Okay. 329 00:13:16,315 --> 00:13:17,732 That was great, 330 00:13:17,733 --> 00:13:19,618 but you really didn't need to go into it. 331 00:13:19,619 --> 00:13:21,236 You know what occurs to me? 332 00:13:21,237 --> 00:13:24,289 What all those great Greendale memories have in common? 333 00:13:24,290 --> 00:13:25,290 I was barely in them? 334 00:13:25,291 --> 00:13:26,658 They were all about Dean Pelton. 335 00:13:26,659 --> 00:13:27,826 That's what I've been trying to make 336 00:13:27,827 --> 00:13:29,261 you guys understand for the last two months. 337 00:13:29,262 --> 00:13:30,679 I keep telling you, 338 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,097 we weren't expelled by the real Dean. 339 00:13:32,098 --> 00:13:34,015 It couldn't have been him. He loved us. 340 00:13:34,016 --> 00:13:36,918 Maybe we've been so concerned with moving past Greendale, 341 00:13:36,919 --> 00:13:38,503 we've been living in denial. 342 00:13:38,504 --> 00:13:40,972 It's true. I mean, let's face it. 343 00:13:40,973 --> 00:13:43,508 We weren't driven crazy by Greendale. 344 00:13:43,509 --> 00:13:47,062 And Abed's not the crazy one for obsessing about it. 345 00:13:47,063 --> 00:13:49,147 Abed, we're sorry. We haven't been supporting you, 346 00:13:49,148 --> 00:13:51,366 and we haven't been honest with ourselves. 347 00:13:51,367 --> 00:13:53,735 Dr. Heidi, something weird is going on with that school. 348 00:13:53,736 --> 00:13:57,772 Abed doesn't need to be here. We need to be there. 349 00:13:58,502 --> 00:14:00,542 But there is no there. 350 00:14:00,543 --> 00:14:02,944 That's the problem. That's why we have to go back. 351 00:14:02,945 --> 00:14:05,213 No, you can't go back to Greendale. 352 00:14:05,214 --> 00:14:06,581 Why? Because it isn't healthy? 353 00:14:06,582 --> 00:14:10,218 'Cause it doesn't exist. 354 00:14:11,287 --> 00:14:13,288 I parked by a meter. 355 00:14:13,289 --> 00:14:16,057 Any of y'all park by a meter? 356 00:14:16,058 --> 00:14:17,058 Wait, what? 357 00:14:22,348 --> 00:14:24,315 What you mean, Greendale doesn't exist? 358 00:14:24,316 --> 00:14:26,600 Well, there is a place called Greendale, 359 00:14:26,601 --> 00:14:28,936 and you all spent three years there, 360 00:14:28,937 --> 00:14:32,073 but it was not a community college. 361 00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:39,747 These memories that you people have been sharing 362 00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:43,451 are a shared psychosis. 363 00:14:43,452 --> 00:14:44,719 You were patients there together, 364 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,620 you were released together, and I am alarmed to see 365 00:14:46,621 --> 00:14:49,724 that you are now relapsing together. 366 00:14:49,725 --> 00:14:51,893 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 367 00:14:51,894 --> 00:14:55,296 This is not real. You're lying. 368 00:14:55,297 --> 00:14:58,015 Search your mind for the real memories. 369 00:14:58,016 --> 00:15:00,735 Try to look past the trauma you've been blocking out. 370 00:15:00,736 --> 00:15:02,687 - What trauma? - You all came 371 00:15:02,688 --> 00:15:05,473 to this community college 372 00:15:05,474 --> 00:15:06,774 after your lives had fractured. 373 00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:08,809 Pill addiction, failed legal career, 374 00:15:08,810 --> 00:15:11,696 broken marriage, lost scholarship, 375 00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:13,948 - old. - Enough! 376 00:15:13,949 --> 00:15:15,333 I don't want to hear mine. 377 00:15:15,334 --> 00:15:17,418 And, if we were going to fabricate a delusion, 378 00:15:17,419 --> 00:15:20,538 why would we fabricate a community college? 379 00:15:20,539 --> 00:15:23,958 Ah, yes, this fantastical community college 380 00:15:23,959 --> 00:15:27,462 where everything that happens is unbelievably ridiculous 381 00:15:27,463 --> 00:15:30,515 and it all revolves around you as a group. 382 00:15:30,516 --> 00:15:33,885 The same reason anyone plunges into psychosis, miss Perry. 383 00:15:33,886 --> 00:15:35,937 It was a mentally-compatible alternative 384 00:15:35,938 --> 00:15:38,055 to your grim reality. 385 00:15:42,227 --> 00:15:45,980 Can you believe the secret trampoline we found? 386 00:15:45,981 --> 00:15:48,032 I know. It's so great. 387 00:15:56,542 --> 00:15:57,825 For Greendale! 388 00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,494 Charge! 389 00:15:59,495 --> 00:16:00,962 Come on, Leonard. 390 00:16:00,963 --> 00:16:02,497 - Yow! - Ooh! 391 00:16:02,498 --> 00:16:04,215 ♪ baby boomer Santa ♪ 392 00:16:04,216 --> 00:16:06,584 ♪ thank you for everything ♪ 393 00:16:06,585 --> 00:16:08,836 ♪ you're welcome, you're welcome ♪ 394 00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,805 ♪ for everything in the world ♪ 395 00:16:10,806 --> 00:16:13,174 - Terry, stop it. - * You're welcome, hey * 396 00:16:13,175 --> 00:16:15,560 - Let's do a clip show. - Bottle episode. 397 00:16:15,561 --> 00:16:16,844 - Don't forget the clip show. - Harrison Ford. 398 00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,145 Remember when we went camping? Yes. 399 00:16:18,146 --> 00:16:19,313 Remember when we painted the nursery? 400 00:16:19,314 --> 00:16:20,731 Yes. Remember when we remembered 401 00:16:20,732 --> 00:16:22,016 going camping while we were in the nursery? 402 00:16:25,687 --> 00:16:28,022 I'm a millionaire, I'm an inventor, 403 00:16:28,023 --> 00:16:30,992 I'm a legend, and I had sex with Eartha Kitt. 404 00:16:30,993 --> 00:16:32,159 It's sad. 405 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,661 Should we increase their lithium? 406 00:16:33,662 --> 00:16:34,728 Not yet. 407 00:16:34,729 --> 00:16:36,330 I want to see what happens 408 00:16:36,331 --> 00:16:38,666 if we confiscate one of their pens. 409 00:16:43,672 --> 00:16:48,125 - It's not possible. - Mm. 410 00:16:48,126 --> 00:16:52,446 You say you started as a Spanish study group. 411 00:16:52,447 --> 00:16:53,931 Do any of you speak Spanish? 412 00:16:53,932 --> 00:16:56,467 Mi hambre es bombero tirantes. 413 00:16:56,468 --> 00:16:58,085 And you've attended Greendale for three years, 414 00:16:58,086 --> 00:17:00,888 but don't community colleges end after two? 415 00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:02,690 Everyone's always saying that. 416 00:17:02,691 --> 00:17:05,192 The average community college student attends school 417 00:17:05,193 --> 00:17:06,394 five to seven years. 418 00:17:06,395 --> 00:17:07,895 Many offer four-year degrees. 419 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,697 In your mind, they do. 420 00:17:09,698 --> 00:17:10,982 In your mind. 421 00:17:10,983 --> 00:17:14,768 And you shared this delusion with each other, like that time 422 00:17:14,769 --> 00:17:16,370 all those people got into swing dance music 423 00:17:16,371 --> 00:17:17,521 back in the '90s. 424 00:17:17,522 --> 00:17:19,707 And then you were released, 425 00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:21,375 probably because your insurance ran out. 426 00:17:21,376 --> 00:17:23,527 But the official story is that you're now fit 427 00:17:23,528 --> 00:17:25,997 to live within society again. 428 00:17:25,998 --> 00:17:29,133 You just have to accept the truth. 429 00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:41,929 Wait. 430 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,598 Give me a break. 431 00:17:43,599 --> 00:17:45,349 That made no sense. 432 00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:46,350 Yeah, it's me. 433 00:17:46,351 --> 00:17:48,152 No, I think they bought it. 434 00:17:48,153 --> 00:17:49,487 I had to do a little riffing at the end, 435 00:17:49,488 --> 00:17:52,189 but I was pretty convincing. 436 00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:55,076 Well, if it looks like I'm sneaking out the window, 437 00:17:55,077 --> 00:17:57,495 it's just a symptom of your deepening psychosis. 438 00:17:57,496 --> 00:17:59,947 Don't hurt me. Greendale doesn't exist? 439 00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,532 How long did you think we'd buy that? 440 00:18:01,533 --> 00:18:03,668 I'm literally carrying a Greendale backpack. 441 00:18:03,669 --> 00:18:05,503 I have, like, 1,000 pictures of the campus on my phone. 442 00:18:05,504 --> 00:18:07,004 I have children I see every day. 443 00:18:07,005 --> 00:18:08,506 I have definitely not been locked up. 444 00:18:08,507 --> 00:18:10,091 Get him. 445 00:18:10,092 --> 00:18:13,444 Why would you lie to make us think we were crazy? 446 00:18:13,445 --> 00:18:14,795 Because, Ms. Edison, 447 00:18:14,796 --> 00:18:16,547 Greendale is purgatory, 448 00:18:16,548 --> 00:18:18,599 and I am the devil. 449 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,801 - What? - I knew it. 450 00:18:20,802 --> 00:18:23,888 Stop letting him make you realize stuff. 451 00:18:23,889 --> 00:18:25,272 These aren't even good lies. 452 00:18:25,273 --> 00:18:26,974 All right, fine, I had to come up with something. 453 00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:28,726 You were getting too close. Close to what? 454 00:18:28,727 --> 00:18:29,944 To the truth. 455 00:18:29,945 --> 00:18:31,062 The Indian kid was right. 456 00:18:31,063 --> 00:18:32,463 - He's Arabic. - Also Polish. 457 00:18:32,464 --> 00:18:33,864 Whatever. I'm a fake psychiatrist, 458 00:18:33,865 --> 00:18:34,982 not a fake ethnologist. 459 00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:36,817 The point is your Dean was kidnapped 460 00:18:36,818 --> 00:18:38,235 by Ben Chang and replaced 461 00:18:38,236 --> 00:18:39,403 with a double. 462 00:18:39,404 --> 00:18:40,871 I was hired to keep you off the scent. 463 00:18:40,872 --> 00:18:42,456 Chang kidnapped the Dean? 464 00:18:42,457 --> 00:18:43,791 Even for him, that's insane. 465 00:18:43,792 --> 00:18:45,660 Is it? Think about it. 466 00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:55,503 Whoo! I said hot damn! 467 00:18:55,504 --> 00:18:58,506 Chang... 468 00:18:58,507 --> 00:18:59,840 What are you doing? 469 00:18:59,841 --> 00:19:01,425 I'm predicting future crimes. 470 00:19:02,427 --> 00:19:04,011 Now I'm sick. 471 00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:06,063 See, you said that would happen. 472 00:19:06,064 --> 00:19:07,682 You are a pre-cog! 473 00:19:17,409 --> 00:19:20,161 Again. 474 00:19:23,281 --> 00:19:25,899 You're weak. 475 00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:27,785 Uh, guys, 476 00:19:27,786 --> 00:19:29,370 while we were remembering Chang is crazy, 477 00:19:29,371 --> 00:19:30,805 the fake doctor sneaked away. 478 00:19:30,806 --> 00:19:32,173 - Oh, crap! - What? 479 00:19:32,174 --> 00:19:34,041 There goes our only chance of clearing our names. 480 00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:36,844 You guys, forget about us. The Dean has been kidnapped. 481 00:19:36,845 --> 00:19:39,680 He's out there somewhere, alone and cold 482 00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:41,682 and most likely trying to cobble together 483 00:19:41,683 --> 00:19:43,217 a sexy Patty Hearst costume. 484 00:19:43,218 --> 00:19:45,186 Britta's right. Wait, what? 485 00:19:45,187 --> 00:19:46,937 We need to rescue the Dean. 486 00:19:46,938 --> 00:19:48,272 We need to get back to that school. 487 00:19:48,273 --> 00:19:49,974 And we definitely never need to do another paintball. 488 00:19:49,975 --> 00:19:51,559 - Yeah. - See, therapy does work. 489 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,944 We're cured. Aw. Aw. 490 00:19:57,199 --> 00:19:59,233 Sounds like the study group has gotten wise 491 00:19:59,234 --> 00:20:01,569 to Operation Doppel-Deaner. 492 00:20:01,570 --> 00:20:04,905 It's time for phase two. What's phase two? 493 00:20:04,906 --> 00:20:06,657 Hey, I'm making up the same plan you are. 494 00:20:06,658 --> 00:20:08,442 Pitches, pitches, pitches. 495 00:20:08,443 --> 00:20:10,423 Ah, thank you, Megan. 496 00:20:12,727 --> 00:20:14,594 ♪ Troy and Abed in the morning ♪ 497 00:20:14,595 --> 00:20:16,012 Nights. 498 00:20:16,013 --> 00:20:17,247 Welcome back, all you night owls. 499 00:20:17,248 --> 00:20:18,898 Troy, why don't we open up the phone lines? 500 00:20:18,899 --> 00:20:21,551 Talk to us, lonely hearts. We got Jeff W. calling. 501 00:20:21,552 --> 00:20:23,002 Hello? 502 00:20:23,003 --> 00:20:24,737 Hey, Jeff, what's your question? 503 00:20:24,738 --> 00:20:26,489 - Who is this? - Great question. 504 00:20:26,490 --> 00:20:27,941 We're us. You guys, 505 00:20:27,942 --> 00:20:30,176 it's 3:00 in the morning. 506 00:20:30,177 --> 00:20:31,511 I'm trying to sleep. 507 00:20:31,512 --> 00:20:32,562 I'm sorry to hear that, Jeff. 508 00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:34,881 Why don't you stay on the line and we'll get your information. 509 00:20:34,882 --> 00:20:36,115 Yeah, we'll get you the help you need. 510 00:20:36,116 --> 00:20:37,667 Our next caller's Annie E. 511 00:20:37,668 --> 00:20:38,835 What's on your mind tonight, Annie? 512 00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:41,671 Hey, guys, long time, first time, love the show. 513 00:20:41,672 --> 00:20:43,706 Aw, appreciate ya. How can we help? 514 00:20:44,992 --> 00:20:47,261 You can shut up and go to sleep. 515 00:20:50,064 --> 00:20:51,631 Well, Jacks and Jills, that's about all the time 516 00:20:51,632 --> 00:20:53,349 we have tonight. Yeah, until next time, 517 00:20:53,350 --> 00:20:54,617 may your dreams be sweet 518 00:20:54,618 --> 00:20:56,686 and your nightmares be "spooky monster" scary 519 00:20:56,687 --> 00:20:58,554 and not "grandma died" scary. 520 00:20:58,555 --> 00:21:00,690 ♪ Troy and Abed in the morning ♪ 521 00:21:00,691 --> 00:21:03,710 Nights.