1 00:00:01,906 --> 00:00:04,164 Look at us. Still together as a group 2 00:00:04,194 --> 00:00:07,196 even, what, two months after being kicked out 3 00:00:07,197 --> 00:00:09,478 of you know where. 4 00:00:09,534 --> 00:00:10,814 Yeah, good thing I came up 5 00:00:10,853 --> 00:00:12,271 with this idea for potluck dinners. 6 00:00:12,319 --> 00:00:13,919 Pierce, all you said was, "I'm hungry." 7 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:15,671 All Henry Ford said was, "I need a ride." 8 00:00:15,672 --> 00:00:18,257 Troy, is that a casserole? 9 00:00:18,258 --> 00:00:19,095 It's bagel bites 10 00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:20,814 in a deconstructed hot pocket reduction 11 00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:22,067 with a doritos glaze. 12 00:00:22,092 --> 00:00:24,044 I just really want to make my food, you know. 13 00:00:24,047 --> 00:00:27,099 Did anybody bring anything that isn't poison? 14 00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:29,969 I need to eat natural, organic foods, 15 00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:32,454 or I'm never gonna get rid of this hangover. 16 00:00:32,455 --> 00:00:33,722 Jeff, what'd you bring? 17 00:00:33,723 --> 00:00:35,558 Pack of lifesavers. 18 00:00:36,593 --> 00:00:38,110 Sorry. Dead battery. 19 00:00:38,111 --> 00:00:39,761 Where's Abed? 20 00:00:39,762 --> 00:00:41,230 Have you seen Abed? 21 00:00:41,231 --> 00:00:43,716 He's probably out getting something really cool 22 00:00:43,717 --> 00:00:45,267 for the dinner. 23 00:00:45,268 --> 00:00:51,240 See? Cool. Abed brought delicious police. 24 00:00:51,241 --> 00:00:53,209 Abed, what happened? 25 00:00:53,210 --> 00:00:54,577 Found your friend going through the dumpster 26 00:00:54,578 --> 00:00:56,778 outside the administration building in Greendale again. 27 00:00:56,779 --> 00:01:01,217 This cadet could use a lesson in intergalactic protocol. 28 00:01:01,218 --> 00:01:02,334 It's okay, officer. 29 00:01:02,335 --> 00:01:04,453 He's just playing a character from TV. 30 00:01:04,454 --> 00:01:07,590 Oh, yes, I'm very familiar with Inspector Spacetime. 31 00:01:07,591 --> 00:01:08,624 You think a guy becomes a cop 32 00:01:08,625 --> 00:01:10,259 because his prom night was a dream? 33 00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:13,179 If this were comic-con, I'd take a bullet for that kid. 34 00:01:13,180 --> 00:01:15,648 But, here in the real world, trespassing is a crime. 35 00:01:15,649 --> 00:01:16,815 We're sorry, officer. 36 00:01:16,816 --> 00:01:19,068 Our friend has been having a hard time 37 00:01:19,069 --> 00:01:22,404 adjusting to being expelled from Greendale. 38 00:01:22,405 --> 00:01:24,390 - It won't happen again. - That's for sure. 39 00:01:24,391 --> 00:01:27,476 I talked to your former Dean. I recommended he press charges. 40 00:01:27,477 --> 00:01:28,577 He said he'd hold off 41 00:01:28,578 --> 00:01:30,812 on the condition that you set an appointment with this guy. 44 00:01:33,783 --> 00:01:35,167 It's the number for a psychiatrist. 45 00:01:35,168 --> 00:01:37,319 What? No. Abed's not crazy. 46 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,588 Where does the Dean get off? He's not the real Dean. 47 00:01:39,589 --> 00:01:41,457 He's been replaced by an identical life-form 48 00:01:41,458 --> 00:01:42,908 for some nefarious purpose. 49 00:01:42,909 --> 00:01:44,793 Reggie, to the time booth. 50 00:01:44,794 --> 00:01:46,845 We haven't much... space. 51 00:01:46,846 --> 00:01:49,965 I'll be right there, Inspector. 52 00:01:49,966 --> 00:01:52,668 Hey, before I go, you really shouldn't be using this 53 00:01:52,669 --> 00:01:54,436 to prop open your building's door. 54 00:01:54,437 --> 00:01:55,938 This is an antique fire brick. 55 00:01:55,939 --> 00:01:57,556 I'd say pre-civil war. 56 00:01:57,557 --> 00:02:01,310 Note the uneven orange hue and the embossment on the back. 57 00:02:01,311 --> 00:02:03,362 What a nifty little piece of americana. 58 00:02:03,363 --> 00:02:07,116 You could get 50, 60 bucks for it from the right collector. 59 00:02:07,117 --> 00:02:08,851 I watch a lot of antiques roadshow. 60 00:02:08,852 --> 00:02:11,136 Oh. 61 00:02:11,137 --> 00:02:14,123 Anyway, walk to your cars in pairs tonight. 62 00:02:14,124 --> 00:02:17,009 Rape's up 8%. 63 00:02:18,528 --> 00:02:21,964 $60? 64 00:02:21,965 --> 00:02:24,416 Hello? Rich people, Troy's joining you. 65 00:02:24,417 --> 00:02:25,968 Yes, I'll hold. 66 00:02:25,969 --> 00:02:29,922 ♪ Give me some more tie me to dream ♪ 67 00:02:29,923 --> 00:02:32,841 ♪ Give me the hope to run out of steam ♪ 68 00:02:32,842 --> 00:02:36,362 ♪ Somebody said it can be here ♪ 69 00:02:36,363 --> 00:02:40,349 ♪ We could be roped up tied up, dead in a year ♪ 70 00:02:40,350 --> 00:02:45,554 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 71 00:02:45,555 --> 00:02:49,775 ♪ One by one, they all just fade away ♪ 72 00:02:49,776 --> 00:02:52,728 Sync & corrections by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 73 00:02:59,170 --> 00:03:00,537 Abed. 74 00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:01,987 I'm Dr. Heidi. 75 00:03:01,988 --> 00:03:03,706 We're going to have a little chat tonight, 76 00:03:03,707 --> 00:03:04,957 you and I. How does that sound? 77 00:03:04,958 --> 00:03:06,061 I don't need therapy. 78 00:03:06,109 --> 00:03:08,067 Well, that's a perfectly normal response. 79 00:03:08,090 --> 00:03:10,191 I concur with Dr. Heidi's diagnosis. 80 00:03:10,513 --> 00:03:12,181 I haven't diagnosed anything yet. 81 00:03:12,182 --> 00:03:14,105 Psych major. Got your back, brah. 82 00:03:15,577 --> 00:03:19,978 I have to say, I didn't expect to see so many of you. 83 00:03:20,390 --> 00:03:22,775 Abed won't go to any kind of doctor on his own. 84 00:03:22,776 --> 00:03:23,776 We caught him last year 85 00:03:23,777 --> 00:03:25,544 trying to remove his own tonsils. 86 00:03:25,545 --> 00:03:27,696 Well, why don't you let me take it from here? 87 00:03:27,697 --> 00:03:28,881 You have to understand about Abed. 88 00:03:28,882 --> 00:03:30,766 He's usually, you know, adorable weird, 89 00:03:30,767 --> 00:03:33,385 like mork from ork, but, since we got expelled, 90 00:03:33,386 --> 00:03:36,238 he's been creepy weird, like present-day Robin Williams. 91 00:03:36,239 --> 00:03:38,273 - I'm not crazy. - Well, Abed, 92 00:03:38,274 --> 00:03:40,242 I don't deal in crazy. 93 00:03:40,243 --> 00:03:42,277 - I deal in health. - Hmm. 94 00:03:42,278 --> 00:03:45,914 So how long has Abed needed a crazy amount of help? 95 00:03:48,885 --> 00:03:54,289 All of this behavior started after you were expelled? 96 00:03:54,290 --> 00:03:57,142 There may have been a ramp-up. 97 00:03:59,062 --> 00:04:01,263 It's okay, buddy. 98 00:04:01,264 --> 00:04:03,265 Just a few more minutes, and we're good until spring, okay? 99 00:04:03,266 --> 00:04:04,800 But it doesn't make any sense. 100 00:04:04,801 --> 00:04:06,068 Think of it this way. 101 00:04:06,069 --> 00:04:08,404 We get the hour back later in the year. 102 00:04:08,405 --> 00:04:11,407 Yeah. 103 00:04:11,408 --> 00:04:13,075 I "Rent Tower Heist" last night, 104 00:04:13,076 --> 00:04:14,643 and I won't spoil the ending, but let me tell you, 105 00:04:14,644 --> 00:04:16,829 it was quite the hilarious Thrill Ride. 106 00:04:16,830 --> 00:04:20,366 That Brett Ratner, he's a master at comedic action-adventure. 107 00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:23,035 Mm. A master at storytelling. 108 00:04:23,036 --> 00:04:25,287 He's just a master at making movies in general. 109 00:04:25,288 --> 00:04:27,656 I'm gonna say it. He's the new Spielberg. 110 00:04:27,657 --> 00:04:30,826 Oh! 111 00:04:30,827 --> 00:04:32,544 I have to go. Excuse me. 112 00:04:32,545 --> 00:04:34,463 Okay. 113 00:04:34,464 --> 00:04:40,335 You're a bad person. You're a bad person. 114 00:04:40,336 --> 00:04:43,472 Time enough at last to eat a sandwich. 115 00:04:43,473 --> 00:04:45,023 Though even he knew that this sandwich 116 00:04:45,024 --> 00:04:46,975 was nearer his last sandwich than his first. 117 00:04:46,976 --> 00:04:48,110 Abed, I'm trying to eat. 118 00:04:48,111 --> 00:04:49,345 He said, oldly, 119 00:04:49,361 --> 00:04:51,094 his brittle bones straining to support the weight 120 00:04:51,102 --> 00:04:53,526 of his wrinkly skin. 121 00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,489 Stop narrating me. 122 00:04:56,519 --> 00:04:57,703 He shouted to no one, 123 00:04:57,704 --> 00:04:59,037 just a man alone in time with nothing 124 00:04:59,038 --> 00:05:01,457 but the cold squishiness of tuna salad to comfort him. 125 00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:02,908 I take it back. 126 00:05:02,909 --> 00:05:04,877 I don't want to be in your novel. 127 00:05:04,878 --> 00:05:07,028 Pierce Hawthorne had nearly lost his grip on reality. 128 00:05:07,029 --> 00:05:08,797 Lately, he'd begun to think he was in a novel. 129 00:05:08,798 --> 00:05:12,418 And action. 130 00:05:12,419 --> 00:05:14,369 Abed, what the hell are you doing? 131 00:05:14,370 --> 00:05:16,037 Cut. We got it. One more for safety. 132 00:05:16,038 --> 00:05:17,272 Abed, it's 4:30 in the morning, 133 00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,540 and you're in my bedroom. 134 00:05:18,541 --> 00:05:19,541 Use that. Okay. 135 00:05:19,542 --> 00:05:21,310 And action. 136 00:05:21,311 --> 00:05:24,379 But that's almost completely nearly all of it. 137 00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:26,265 If Abed is as sick as you all say, 138 00:05:26,266 --> 00:05:27,599 then I have no... Wait a minute. 139 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,218 Nobody in this room gets to define sick. 140 00:05:30,219 --> 00:05:31,353 I do. 141 00:05:31,354 --> 00:05:32,821 I'm a psychiatrist. 142 00:05:32,822 --> 00:05:34,857 Any kind of doctor can really. 143 00:05:34,858 --> 00:05:36,057 - Really? - Yes. 144 00:05:36,058 --> 00:05:37,359 Well, if Abed's sick, 145 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,661 then we're all sick. Yeah. 146 00:05:39,662 --> 00:05:41,280 You can't determine a person's sanity 147 00:05:41,281 --> 00:05:42,898 from a few amusing stories. 148 00:05:42,899 --> 00:05:44,333 - Exactly. - That's right. 149 00:05:44,334 --> 00:05:47,035 I mean, if anything, Abed's more sane than any of us. 150 00:05:47,036 --> 00:05:48,069 Yeah. Well. 151 00:05:48,070 --> 00:05:50,923 I mean, he's certainly the craziest one of us, 152 00:05:50,924 --> 00:05:55,961 but, you know, we're all kind of crazy-town banana pants. 153 00:05:55,962 --> 00:05:58,430 Talk to me about crazy-town banana pants. 154 00:05:58,431 --> 00:06:00,098 Look, we're just saying it's been a crazy year 155 00:06:00,099 --> 00:06:01,233 for everybody. 156 00:06:01,234 --> 00:06:03,135 Who among us hasn't had the odd banana 157 00:06:03,136 --> 00:06:04,636 in his or her pants, right? 158 00:06:04,637 --> 00:06:06,254 I have. 159 00:06:13,313 --> 00:06:17,699 How long does peyote last? Just asking for a friend. 160 00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:21,603 ♪ Troy and Abed and Annie in the morning ♪ 161 00:06:21,604 --> 00:06:22,871 What are you doing? 162 00:06:22,872 --> 00:06:24,206 Nothing. 163 00:06:24,207 --> 00:06:25,340 Nothing my ass. 164 00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:27,275 What are all these cameras doing here? 165 00:06:31,714 --> 00:06:34,049 Here, take my coat. 166 00:06:34,050 --> 00:06:35,501 Oh. 167 00:06:35,502 --> 00:06:37,386 Thank you. 168 00:06:37,387 --> 00:06:39,955 That's so sweet. 169 00:06:39,956 --> 00:06:41,924 Just don't eat anything or drink anything, 170 00:06:41,925 --> 00:06:44,927 and no sweating or bending at the elbows, 171 00:06:44,928 --> 00:06:47,796 and no chairs with backrests, and if you take it off, 172 00:06:47,797 --> 00:06:51,567 wooden hangers only. 173 00:06:51,568 --> 00:06:53,635 You're probably warm now, right? 174 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,740 Good news, guys. 175 00:06:58,741 --> 00:07:00,158 I spent all my money. 176 00:07:00,159 --> 00:07:01,810 Troy, you can't bring that in here. 177 00:07:01,811 --> 00:07:03,645 Yes, I can. It's all-terrain, dummy. 178 00:07:03,646 --> 00:07:05,364 I made a plate of cookies for the study group, 179 00:07:05,365 --> 00:07:06,665 but my boys ate them, 180 00:07:06,666 --> 00:07:08,450 so since they took something of yours, 181 00:07:08,451 --> 00:07:10,369 you all get something of theirs. 182 00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:12,170 Elijah loves this, Britta. 183 00:07:12,171 --> 00:07:13,822 There you go, Jeff. There you go, Troy. 184 00:07:13,823 --> 00:07:15,824 There you go, Pierce. 185 00:07:15,825 --> 00:07:19,177 Karate championship, second place! 186 00:07:19,178 --> 00:07:20,929 Now I'll be unstoppable. 187 00:07:20,930 --> 00:07:23,164 Oyay! 188 00:07:23,165 --> 00:07:24,800 So you see what you call insanity 189 00:07:24,801 --> 00:07:26,552 we call solidarity. 190 00:07:26,553 --> 00:07:27,769 I'm sorry. 191 00:07:27,770 --> 00:07:29,855 We just finished telling him about it, 192 00:07:29,856 --> 00:07:31,189 and you grab it and squeeze it? 193 00:07:31,190 --> 00:07:33,174 - I said I was sorry. - Uh-huh. 194 00:07:33,175 --> 00:07:36,228 And so as a group, do you always indulge Abed 195 00:07:36,229 --> 00:07:38,346 in these little misadventures? 196 00:07:38,347 --> 00:07:39,481 Take that back. 197 00:07:39,482 --> 00:07:44,352 Our adventures are very manly. 198 00:07:44,353 --> 00:07:45,854 I have to say there's more important 199 00:07:45,855 --> 00:07:47,823 to mental health than a support system. 200 00:07:47,824 --> 00:07:49,491 And assuming that this group is, 201 00:07:49,492 --> 00:07:52,110 for Abed, said support system, 202 00:07:52,111 --> 00:07:54,162 I think I've heard everything I need to hear 203 00:07:54,163 --> 00:07:56,281 in order to make a decision. 204 00:07:56,282 --> 00:07:58,517 I think that Abed should be committed. 205 00:08:00,186 --> 00:08:03,038 You mean committed to his character work, right? 206 00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:05,373 Because he already is. Abed, show him your Don Draper. 207 00:08:05,374 --> 00:08:06,808 Cigarettes. 208 00:08:06,809 --> 00:08:10,095 No, I mean an institution. 209 00:08:10,096 --> 00:08:11,780 You mean like marriage? 210 00:08:11,781 --> 00:08:13,265 I mean a mental institution. 211 00:08:13,266 --> 00:08:15,167 Ah. So do I. 212 00:08:15,168 --> 00:08:17,219 Will someone please help me lighten the mood? 213 00:08:22,442 --> 00:08:24,958 Please, Mr. Dr. psychiatrist, sir, 214 00:08:25,449 --> 00:08:28,262 please don't send my best friend to crazy people jail. 215 00:08:28,314 --> 00:08:29,814 Relax. He doesn't have the right. 216 00:08:29,815 --> 00:08:31,032 Abed's not dangerous. 217 00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:33,768 Yeah, he's just unique, like a snowflake 218 00:08:33,769 --> 00:08:35,103 who gets bent out of shape 219 00:08:35,104 --> 00:08:36,738 when you mix up Star Wars and space treks. 220 00:08:36,739 --> 00:08:38,840 Or a serial killer's signature. 221 00:08:38,841 --> 00:08:40,291 I'm a psych major. 222 00:08:40,292 --> 00:08:42,727 His continued obsession with Greendale Community College 223 00:08:42,728 --> 00:08:44,713 suggests the potential for escalation. 224 00:08:44,714 --> 00:08:46,631 And, frankly, these stories you've been telling me 225 00:08:46,632 --> 00:08:47,966 are very troubling. 226 00:08:47,967 --> 00:08:49,300 You're troubled? 227 00:08:49,301 --> 00:08:51,052 I don't remember any of those things happening. 228 00:08:51,053 --> 00:08:53,371 Since when do these three live together? 229 00:08:53,372 --> 00:08:54,705 Look, Abed's obsession with Greendale 230 00:08:54,706 --> 00:08:55,807 doesn't make him crazy. 231 00:08:55,808 --> 00:08:57,008 If you had gone to school there, 232 00:08:57,009 --> 00:08:58,209 you'd be obsessed with it too. 233 00:08:58,210 --> 00:08:59,728 It was a messed-up place. 234 00:08:59,729 --> 00:09:01,129 - We had lockers. - Yeah. 235 00:09:01,130 --> 00:09:02,764 We're survivors. 236 00:09:04,850 --> 00:09:07,051 My name is Pwofussa Wobinswin. 237 00:09:07,052 --> 00:09:09,437 Who's weady to wearn? 238 00:09:09,438 --> 00:09:13,024 Dean, this is not the way to agree on parking 239 00:09:13,025 --> 00:09:15,560 for the job fair! It's inhumane. 240 00:09:15,561 --> 00:09:17,028 You have a better idea, Britta? 241 00:09:17,029 --> 00:09:19,831 Yes. Thousands of them. 242 00:09:19,832 --> 00:09:22,617 Vicki to Queen 3. 243 00:09:22,618 --> 00:09:24,569 Neigh. 244 00:09:30,509 --> 00:09:33,411 That's all for today. Read chapter four. 245 00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:39,517 Okay, we're just gonna ignore that. 246 00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:51,980 - Bananas? - Yes. 247 00:09:51,981 --> 00:09:53,431 - Toast? - Yes. 248 00:09:53,432 --> 00:09:55,150 - Bubble gum? - Yes. 249 00:09:55,151 --> 00:09:56,601 - Pancakes? - Yes. 250 00:09:56,602 --> 00:09:59,571 - Fries? - Get out. 251 00:09:59,572 --> 00:10:01,873 Get out. 252 00:10:01,874 --> 00:10:05,043 There's one every year. I will not tolerate clowning. 253 00:10:05,044 --> 00:10:06,611 - Car keys? - Yes. 254 00:10:06,612 --> 00:10:12,250 Okay, last bathroom break. We've got to cram for... 255 00:10:12,251 --> 00:10:14,952 Excuse me, sir, can we get to our... 256 00:10:17,590 --> 00:10:19,340 Slow your bones, Rufus. 257 00:10:19,341 --> 00:10:21,959 We got a long road tomorrow. 258 00:10:22,978 --> 00:10:25,313 Welcome... 259 00:10:28,734 --> 00:10:30,435 to ladders. 260 00:10:32,905 --> 00:10:35,073 Interesting. 261 00:10:35,074 --> 00:10:36,407 Eh. 262 00:10:36,408 --> 00:10:38,610 Just wanted to see if we got the same thing. 263 00:10:38,611 --> 00:10:41,580 It sounds as though this Greendale had quite an effect 264 00:10:41,593 --> 00:10:42,811 on all of you. 265 00:10:42,844 --> 00:10:44,838 You should all definitely stop dwelling on it 266 00:10:44,867 --> 00:10:45,917 if you want to be healthy. 267 00:10:45,918 --> 00:10:48,253 Well, come on, it wasn't all bad. 268 00:10:48,254 --> 00:10:50,505 I was there longer than anybody, and I'm fine. 269 00:10:50,506 --> 00:10:51,673 How are you? 270 00:10:51,674 --> 00:10:53,124 Why do you ask? 3:30. 271 00:10:53,125 --> 00:10:55,343 Uh-oh. 272 00:10:55,344 --> 00:10:56,377 What Pierce was saying 273 00:10:56,378 --> 00:10:58,630 before he started sundowning is true. 274 00:10:58,631 --> 00:11:00,965 We can't just pass the crazy buck to Greendale. 275 00:11:00,966 --> 00:11:02,600 It could be a good place too. 276 00:11:02,601 --> 00:11:03,668 That really doesn't matter. 277 00:11:03,669 --> 00:11:05,019 Yeah, we have a lot of memories 278 00:11:05,020 --> 00:11:06,771 of Greendale being in our corner. 279 00:11:06,772 --> 00:11:07,856 Dean-a-ling. 280 00:11:07,857 --> 00:11:09,140 I just wanted to drop by 281 00:11:09,141 --> 00:11:11,059 and tell you we ought to be hot-stepping it out 282 00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:14,011 to the parking lot in a brisk, but orderly fashion. 283 00:11:14,012 --> 00:11:15,063 Is there a fire drill? 284 00:11:15,064 --> 00:11:16,614 No, sir, there's an actual fire. 285 00:11:16,615 --> 00:11:18,149 I wanted you guys to be the first to know 286 00:11:18,150 --> 00:11:19,450 before I tell everyone else. 287 00:11:19,451 --> 00:11:21,286 I know. It's not right to play favorites, 288 00:11:21,287 --> 00:11:23,037 but it is no more right to sit on your feelings, 289 00:11:23,038 --> 00:11:24,572 and I don't know what I'd do without you guys. 290 00:11:24,573 --> 00:11:25,707 Whoa. 291 00:11:25,708 --> 00:11:27,992 Okay, fire, fire! There's a fire! 292 00:11:37,303 --> 00:11:38,503 Darcy, you've got a cold. 293 00:11:38,504 --> 00:11:41,038 - I feel fine. - You're sick. Go home! 294 00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:42,423 Get out of here. Get out of here. 295 00:11:42,424 --> 00:11:44,309 Get out of here. Get out of here! 296 00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:47,145 I can't believe we got here too late for pizza. 297 00:11:47,146 --> 00:11:48,879 Worst pizza day ever. 298 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,181 Oh, darn it. 299 00:11:50,182 --> 00:11:54,852 What am I gonna do with all this garbage? 300 00:11:54,853 --> 00:11:58,189 Psst, it's me, the Dean. 301 00:11:58,190 --> 00:12:02,226 I pulled the last six pieces of pizza for you. 302 00:12:02,227 --> 00:12:04,195 Ohh. 303 00:12:04,196 --> 00:12:06,447 Back to garbage detail. 304 00:12:06,448 --> 00:12:09,233 We have a few students with birthdays today, 305 00:12:09,234 --> 00:12:11,336 but, hey, why single them out? 306 00:12:11,337 --> 00:12:12,470 What about the students 307 00:12:12,471 --> 00:12:14,088 who aren't celebrating anything at all? 308 00:12:14,089 --> 00:12:16,708 Are they any less special? 309 00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:20,244 ♪ Troy and Jeffrey ♪ 310 00:12:20,245 --> 00:12:22,180 ♪ And Annie and Britta ♪ 311 00:12:22,181 --> 00:12:23,715 ♪ And Shirley and Pierce ♪ 312 00:12:23,716 --> 00:12:25,800 ♪ And Abed and Jeffrey ♪ 313 00:12:25,801 --> 00:12:31,356 ♪ Just a few of the most special students in the world ♪ 314 00:12:33,058 --> 00:12:35,560 Damn it. Out of slugs. 315 00:12:35,561 --> 00:12:37,729 Next time, I'll put you square, 316 00:12:37,730 --> 00:12:40,598 you pickle-sucking MacGillycuddy. 317 00:12:40,599 --> 00:12:43,234 Why did you save me, Dean? 318 00:12:43,235 --> 00:12:46,454 I know how important paintball is to you, Abed. 319 00:12:46,455 --> 00:12:48,072 I wanted you to win. 320 00:12:48,073 --> 00:12:50,208 It's not important anymore. I get it now. 321 00:12:50,209 --> 00:12:52,610 It just feels forced. 322 00:12:52,611 --> 00:12:55,112 You just enjoy your prize... 323 00:12:55,113 --> 00:12:58,049 Free tickets to... 324 00:12:58,050 --> 00:12:59,950 to see 'Chicago" at the Greendale Civic Center... 325 00:13:01,953 --> 00:13:06,224 with George Wendt and... 326 00:13:06,225 --> 00:13:10,595 Stefanie Powers. 327 00:13:11,897 --> 00:13:16,401 Lame! 328 00:13:16,402 --> 00:13:17,885 Okay. 329 00:13:17,886 --> 00:13:19,303 That was great, 330 00:13:19,304 --> 00:13:21,189 but you really didn't need to go into it. 331 00:13:21,190 --> 00:13:22,807 You know what occurs to me? 332 00:13:22,808 --> 00:13:25,860 What all those great Greendale memories have in common? 333 00:13:25,861 --> 00:13:26,861 I was barely in them? 334 00:13:26,862 --> 00:13:28,229 They were all about Dean Pelton. 335 00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:29,397 That's what I've been trying to make 336 00:13:29,398 --> 00:13:30,832 you guys understand for the last two months. 337 00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:32,250 I keep telling you, 338 00:13:32,251 --> 00:13:33,668 we weren't expelled by the real Dean. 339 00:13:33,669 --> 00:13:35,586 It couldn't have been him. He loved us. 340 00:13:35,587 --> 00:13:38,489 Maybe we've been so concerned with moving past Greendale, 341 00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:40,074 we've been living in denial. 342 00:13:40,075 --> 00:13:42,543 It's true. I mean, let's face it. 343 00:13:42,544 --> 00:13:45,079 We weren't driven crazy by Greendale. 344 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,633 And Abed's not the crazy one for obsessing about it. 345 00:13:48,634 --> 00:13:50,718 Abed, we're sorry. We haven't been supporting you, 346 00:13:50,719 --> 00:13:52,937 and we haven't been honest with ourselves. 347 00:13:52,938 --> 00:13:55,306 Dr. Heidi, something weird is going on with that school. 348 00:13:55,307 --> 00:13:59,343 Abed doesn't need to be here. We need to be there. 349 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,113 But there is no there. 350 00:14:02,114 --> 00:14:04,515 That's the problem. That's why we have to go back. 351 00:14:04,516 --> 00:14:06,784 No, you can't go back to Greendale. 352 00:14:06,785 --> 00:14:08,152 Why? Because it isn't healthy? 353 00:14:08,153 --> 00:14:11,789 'Cause it doesn't exist. 354 00:14:12,858 --> 00:14:14,859 I parked by a meter. 355 00:14:14,860 --> 00:14:17,628 Any of y'all park by a meter? 356 00:14:17,629 --> 00:14:18,926 Wait, what? 357 00:14:24,176 --> 00:14:26,143 What you mean, Greendale doesn't exist? 358 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,444 Well, there is a place called Greendale, 359 00:14:28,469 --> 00:14:30,804 and you all spent three years there, 360 00:14:30,821 --> 00:14:33,957 but it was not a community college. 361 00:14:38,519 --> 00:14:41,521 These memories that you people have been sharing 362 00:14:41,632 --> 00:14:44,882 are a shared psychosis. 363 00:14:44,945 --> 00:14:46,212 You were patients there together, 364 00:14:46,213 --> 00:14:48,518 you were released together, and I am alarmed to see 365 00:14:48,535 --> 00:14:51,638 that you are now relapsing together. 366 00:14:51,671 --> 00:14:53,667 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 367 00:14:53,691 --> 00:14:56,577 This is not real. You're lying. 368 00:14:56,608 --> 00:14:59,326 Search your mind for the real memories. 369 00:14:59,509 --> 00:15:02,228 Try to look past the trauma you've been blocking out. 370 00:15:02,229 --> 00:15:04,355 - What trauma? - You all came 371 00:15:04,368 --> 00:15:06,677 to this community college 372 00:15:06,701 --> 00:15:08,178 after your lives had fractured. 373 00:15:08,268 --> 00:15:10,514 Pill addiction, failed legal career, 374 00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:13,719 broken marriage, lost scholarship, 375 00:15:13,932 --> 00:15:15,407 - old. - Enough! 376 00:15:15,442 --> 00:15:17,187 I don't want to hear mine. 377 00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:19,294 And, if we were going to fabricate a delusion, 378 00:15:19,427 --> 00:15:22,117 why would we fabricate a community college? 379 00:15:22,133 --> 00:15:26,164 Ah, yes, this fantastical community college 380 00:15:26,187 --> 00:15:29,279 where everything that happens is unbelievably ridiculous 381 00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:32,346 and it all revolves around you as a group. 382 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:35,552 The same reason anyone plunges into psychosis, miss Perry. 383 00:15:35,665 --> 00:15:37,716 It was a mentally-compatible alternative 384 00:15:37,787 --> 00:15:39,904 to your grim reality. 385 00:15:45,247 --> 00:15:47,480 Can you believe the secret trampoline we found? 386 00:15:47,502 --> 00:15:49,834 I know. It's so great. 387 00:15:58,008 --> 00:15:59,291 For Greendale! 388 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,406 Charge! 389 00:16:01,437 --> 00:16:02,720 Come on, Leonard. 390 00:16:02,741 --> 00:16:04,275 - Yow! - Ooh! 391 00:16:04,328 --> 00:16:06,045 ♪ Baby boomer Santa ♪ 392 00:16:06,046 --> 00:16:08,414 ♪ Thank you for everything ♪ 393 00:16:08,415 --> 00:16:10,666 ♪ You're welcome, you're welcome ♪ 394 00:16:10,667 --> 00:16:12,635 ♪ For everything in the world ♪ 395 00:16:12,636 --> 00:16:15,004 - Terry, stop it. - ♪ You're welcome, hey ♪ 396 00:16:15,005 --> 00:16:17,011 - Let's do a clip show. - Bottle episode. 397 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,640 - Don't forget the clip show. - Harrison Ford. 398 00:16:18,675 --> 00:16:19,975 - Remember when we went camping? - Yes. 399 00:16:19,976 --> 00:16:21,143 Remember when we painted the nursery? 400 00:16:21,144 --> 00:16:22,561 - Yes. - Remember when we remembered 401 00:16:22,562 --> 00:16:24,140 going camping while we were in the nursery? 402 00:16:27,226 --> 00:16:29,814 I'm a millionaire, I'm an inventor, 403 00:16:29,853 --> 00:16:32,822 I'm a legend, and I had sex with Eartha Kitt. 404 00:16:32,823 --> 00:16:33,989 It's sad. 405 00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:35,491 Should we increase their lithium? 406 00:16:35,492 --> 00:16:36,558 Not yet. 407 00:16:36,559 --> 00:16:38,160 I want to see what happens 408 00:16:38,161 --> 00:16:40,496 if we confiscate one of their pens. 409 00:16:45,502 --> 00:16:49,955 - It's not possible. - Mm. 410 00:16:49,956 --> 00:16:54,276 You say you started as a Spanish study group. 411 00:16:54,277 --> 00:16:55,761 Do any of you speak Spanish? 412 00:16:55,762 --> 00:16:58,297 Mi hambre es bombero tirantes. 413 00:16:58,298 --> 00:16:59,915 And you've attended Greendale for three years, 414 00:16:59,916 --> 00:17:02,718 but don't community colleges end after two? 415 00:17:02,719 --> 00:17:04,520 Everyone's always saying that. 416 00:17:04,521 --> 00:17:07,022 The average community college student attends school 417 00:17:07,023 --> 00:17:08,224 five to seven years. 418 00:17:08,225 --> 00:17:09,725 Many offer four-year degrees. 419 00:17:09,726 --> 00:17:11,527 In your mind, they do. 420 00:17:11,528 --> 00:17:12,812 In your mind. 421 00:17:12,813 --> 00:17:16,598 And you shared this delusion with each other, like that time 422 00:17:16,599 --> 00:17:18,200 all those people got into swing dance music 423 00:17:18,201 --> 00:17:19,351 back in the '90s. 424 00:17:19,352 --> 00:17:21,089 And then you were released, 425 00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:22,767 probably because your insurance ran out. 426 00:17:22,807 --> 00:17:25,320 But the official story is that you're now fit 427 00:17:25,358 --> 00:17:27,827 to live within society again. 428 00:17:27,828 --> 00:17:30,963 You just have to accept the truth. 429 00:17:41,758 --> 00:17:43,759 Wait. 430 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,428 Give me a break. 431 00:17:45,429 --> 00:17:47,179 That made no sense. 432 00:17:47,180 --> 00:17:48,180 Yeah, it's me. 433 00:17:48,181 --> 00:17:49,982 No, I think they bought it. 434 00:17:49,983 --> 00:17:51,317 I had to do a little riffing at the end, 435 00:17:51,318 --> 00:17:54,019 but I was pretty convincing. 436 00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:56,906 Well, if it looks like I'm sneaking out the window, 437 00:17:56,907 --> 00:17:59,325 it's just a symptom of your deepening psychosis. 438 00:17:59,326 --> 00:18:01,777 - Don't hurt me. - Greendale doesn't exist? 439 00:18:01,778 --> 00:18:03,362 How long did you think we'd buy that? 440 00:18:03,363 --> 00:18:05,498 I'm literally carrying a Greendale backpack. 441 00:18:05,499 --> 00:18:07,333 I have, like, 1,000 pictures of the campus on my phone. 442 00:18:07,334 --> 00:18:08,834 I have children I see every day. 443 00:18:08,835 --> 00:18:10,806 I have definitely not been locked up. 444 00:18:10,868 --> 00:18:11,889 Get him. 445 00:18:12,531 --> 00:18:15,094 Why would you lie to make us think we were crazy? 446 00:18:15,126 --> 00:18:16,476 Because, Ms. Edison, 447 00:18:16,626 --> 00:18:18,377 Greendale is purgatory, 448 00:18:18,378 --> 00:18:20,429 and I am the devil. 449 00:18:20,430 --> 00:18:22,631 - What? - I knew it. 450 00:18:22,632 --> 00:18:25,718 Stop letting him make you realize stuff. 451 00:18:25,719 --> 00:18:27,102 These aren't even good lies. 452 00:18:27,103 --> 00:18:28,804 All right, fine, I had to come up with something. 453 00:18:28,805 --> 00:18:30,556 - You were getting too close. - Close to what? 454 00:18:30,557 --> 00:18:31,774 To the truth. 455 00:18:31,775 --> 00:18:32,892 The Indian kid was right. 456 00:18:32,893 --> 00:18:34,293 - He's Arabic. - Also Polish. 457 00:18:34,294 --> 00:18:35,694 Whatever. I'm a fake psychiatrist, 458 00:18:35,695 --> 00:18:36,812 not a fake ethnologist. 459 00:18:36,813 --> 00:18:38,647 The point is your Dean was kidnapped 460 00:18:38,648 --> 00:18:40,065 by Ben Chang and replaced 461 00:18:40,066 --> 00:18:41,233 with a double. 462 00:18:41,234 --> 00:18:42,701 I was hired to keep you off the scent. 463 00:18:42,702 --> 00:18:44,286 Chang kidnapped the Dean? 464 00:18:44,287 --> 00:18:45,621 Even for him, that's insane. 465 00:18:45,622 --> 00:18:47,490 Is it? Think about it. 466 00:18:54,831 --> 00:18:57,333 Whoo! I said hot damn! 467 00:18:57,334 --> 00:19:00,336 Chang... 468 00:19:00,337 --> 00:19:01,670 What are you doing? 469 00:19:01,671 --> 00:19:03,255 I'm predicting future crimes. 470 00:19:04,257 --> 00:19:05,841 Now I'm sick. 471 00:19:05,842 --> 00:19:07,893 See, you said that would happen. 472 00:19:07,894 --> 00:19:09,512 You are a pre-cog! 473 00:19:19,239 --> 00:19:21,991 Again. 474 00:19:25,111 --> 00:19:27,729 You're weak. 475 00:19:27,730 --> 00:19:29,615 Uh, guys, 476 00:19:29,616 --> 00:19:31,200 while we were remembering Chang is crazy, 477 00:19:31,201 --> 00:19:32,635 the fake doctor sneaked away. 478 00:19:32,636 --> 00:19:34,003 - Oh, crap! - What? 479 00:19:34,004 --> 00:19:35,871 There goes our only chance of clearing our names. 480 00:19:35,872 --> 00:19:38,674 You guys, forget about us. The Dean has been kidnapped. 481 00:19:38,675 --> 00:19:41,510 He's out there somewhere, alone and cold 482 00:19:41,511 --> 00:19:43,512 and most likely trying to cobble together 483 00:19:43,513 --> 00:19:45,047 a sexy Patty Hearst costume. 484 00:19:45,048 --> 00:19:47,016 Britta's right. Wait, what? 485 00:19:47,017 --> 00:19:48,767 We need to rescue the Dean. 486 00:19:48,768 --> 00:19:50,102 We need to get back to that school. 487 00:19:50,103 --> 00:19:51,804 And we definitely never need to do another paintball. 488 00:19:51,805 --> 00:19:53,389 - Yeah. - See, therapy does work. 489 00:19:53,390 --> 00:19:55,774 - We're cured. - Aw. Aw. 490 00:19:59,029 --> 00:20:01,063 Sounds like the study group has gotten wise 491 00:20:01,064 --> 00:20:03,399 to Operation Doppel-Deaner. 492 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,735 It's time for phase two. What's phase two? 493 00:20:06,736 --> 00:20:08,487 Hey, I'm making up the same plan you are. 494 00:20:08,488 --> 00:20:10,272 Pitches, pitches, pitches. 495 00:20:10,273 --> 00:20:12,253 Ah, thank you, Megan. 496 00:20:15,526 --> 00:20:17,557 ♪ Troy and Abed in the morning ♪ 497 00:20:17,691 --> 00:20:18,846 Nights. 498 00:20:18,976 --> 00:20:20,298 Welcome back, all you night owls. 499 00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,994 Troy, why don't we open up the phone lines? 500 00:20:21,995 --> 00:20:24,647 Talk to us, lonely hearts. We got Jeff W. calling. 501 00:20:24,648 --> 00:20:25,864 Hello? 502 00:20:25,989 --> 00:20:27,796 Hey, Jeff, what's your question? 503 00:20:27,834 --> 00:20:29,585 - Who is this? - Great question. 504 00:20:29,586 --> 00:20:30,883 - We're us. - You guys, 505 00:20:30,928 --> 00:20:32,532 it's 3:00 in the morning. 506 00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:34,295 I'm trying to sleep. 507 00:20:34,342 --> 00:20:35,493 I'm sorry to hear that, Jeff. 508 00:20:35,517 --> 00:20:37,522 Why don't you stay on the line and we'll get your information. 509 00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:38,921 Yeah, we'll get you the help you need. 510 00:20:38,969 --> 00:20:40,725 Our next caller's Annie E. 511 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:41,907 What's on your mind tonight, Annie? 512 00:20:41,932 --> 00:20:44,767 Hey, guys, long time, first time, love the show. 513 00:20:44,768 --> 00:20:46,714 Aw, appreciate ya. How can we help? 514 00:20:48,088 --> 00:20:50,357 You can shut up and go to sleep. 515 00:20:52,964 --> 00:20:54,627 Well, Jacks and Jills, that's about all the time 516 00:20:54,642 --> 00:20:56,269 we have tonight. Yeah, until next time, 517 00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,556 may your dreams be sweet 518 00:20:57,588 --> 00:20:59,656 and your nightmares be "spooky monster" scary 519 00:20:59,673 --> 00:21:01,540 and not "grandma died" scary. 520 00:21:01,611 --> 00:21:03,746 ♪ Troy and Abed in the morning ♪ 521 00:21:03,787 --> 00:21:06,806 Nights.