1
00:00:00,656 --> 00:00:01,755
I will certify the results
2
00:00:01,790 --> 00:00:03,854
after all the
precints have reported.
3
00:00:03,889 --> 00:00:05,773
A final tally within 1%
4
00:00:05,807 --> 00:00:07,525
would trigger
an automatic recount.
5
00:00:07,559 --> 00:00:09,393
In the event
of an exact tie,
6
00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:11,145
the seat is awarded
to the male candidate,
7
00:00:11,196 --> 00:00:13,514
and the female candidate
is put in jail.
8
00:00:13,548 --> 00:00:15,199
Once again,
I have to object.
9
00:00:15,233 --> 00:00:17,100
I don't think
it would hold up in court,
10
00:00:17,119 --> 00:00:18,786
but it is city law.
11
00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:20,454
- Any questions?
- Yes, actually.
12
00:00:20,489 --> 00:00:23,774
At the 11th hour the Newports
are trying to install
13
00:00:23,792 --> 00:00:26,109
these voting machines
at several precincts
14
00:00:26,128 --> 00:00:27,378
around town.
15
00:00:27,412 --> 00:00:31,215
Watch what happens
when I vote for Bobby Newport.
16
00:00:31,249 --> 00:00:32,800
Good choice.
17
00:00:32,834 --> 00:00:34,885
Enjoy a voucher
for a complimentary
18
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,587
Sweetums candy bar.
19
00:00:36,621 --> 00:00:38,139
Shouldn't we be rewarding
our citizens for voting?
20
00:00:38,173 --> 00:00:40,174
I'm never against anyone
getting a candy bar,
21
00:00:40,225 --> 00:00:43,794
but watch what happens
when you vote for me.
22
00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:46,847
Are you sure?
Take a second and think it over.
23
00:00:46,898 --> 00:00:49,316
Then you have
to press it again.
24
00:00:52,687 --> 00:00:53,654
To cancel your vote and select
25
00:00:53,688 --> 00:00:56,340
someone better,
press the Sweetums logo.
26
00:00:56,374 --> 00:00:59,109
I'm sorry.
I just don't see the problem.
27
00:01:02,147 --> 00:01:07,747
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
28
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,131
Bobby Newport and I
are separated
29
00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:22,666
by a razor-thin margin.
30
00:01:22,684 --> 00:01:24,134
Could go either way.
31
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:26,687
I've only slept nine hours
over the past four days,
32
00:01:26,721 --> 00:01:30,524
so I'm right on the verge
of a nervous breakdown.
33
00:01:30,559 --> 00:01:32,026
This isn't a bagel.
34
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:33,694
Party starts at 7:00
35
00:01:33,728 --> 00:01:36,447
in the historic
Jermaine Jackson Ballroom
36
00:01:36,481 --> 00:01:37,865
at the Pawnee Supersuites.
37
00:01:37,899 --> 00:01:42,203
It is no longer
"A Pimps n' Hoes" pajama party.
38
00:01:42,237 --> 00:01:46,407
That idea was nixed
by a certain uptight nerd
39
00:01:46,458 --> 00:01:48,876
who shall remain nameless.
40
00:01:48,910 --> 00:01:51,212
By 10:00, we should know
if Leslie won the election,
41
00:01:51,246 --> 00:01:54,364
but more importantly,
tonight,
44
00:01:58,169 --> 00:02:00,203
Last night
at approximately 2:30 A.M.,
45
00:02:00,222 --> 00:02:02,172
I woke up from
a dream that felt so real
46
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:03,841
that it had to be
a premonition.
47
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,676
Me, Drake,
and the T-mobile girl
48
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,811
were playing baccarat
on a private jet.
49
00:02:07,846 --> 00:02:10,681
Ann Perkins walks up to me,
and she says,
50
00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:14,368
"Tommy, tomorrow night,
I'm taking you back."
51
00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:18,739
Then Blue Ivy Carter high-fived
me and gave me $40 million.
52
00:02:18,773 --> 00:02:21,642
It was all so real.
53
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,194
The reason why Bobby and I
are appearing together
54
00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:26,864
is to send the message that
everyone should get out and vote
55
00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:28,198
no matter
who they're voting for.
56
00:02:28,232 --> 00:02:30,701
That's right.
Another awesome point by Leslie.
57
00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:32,286
That's why I'm voting for you.
58
00:02:33,838 --> 00:02:35,456
What's so funny?
59
00:02:35,507 --> 00:02:36,757
They're laughing
at your joke.
60
00:02:36,791 --> 00:02:37,758
What joke?
61
00:02:37,792 --> 00:02:39,510
I am voting for you.
62
00:02:39,544 --> 00:02:41,011
You're not voting
for yourself?
63
00:02:41,046 --> 00:02:43,514
Leslie, you can't vote for
yourself, I don't think.
64
00:02:43,548 --> 00:02:46,267
I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
65
00:02:46,301 --> 00:02:47,434
Anything else?
66
00:02:49,354 --> 00:02:51,272
Hey,
you did an unbelievable job
67
00:02:51,306 --> 00:02:52,473
on this campaign, Ben.
68
00:02:52,524 --> 00:02:54,808
My partners back in Washington
think so too.
69
00:02:54,859 --> 00:02:57,427
Well, Leslie gets the credit.
Not me.
70
00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:58,529
Look.
71
00:02:58,563 --> 00:03:00,698
Your opponent
is legendarily stupid
72
00:03:00,732 --> 00:03:03,233
and I phoned it in pretty hard,
but you have a knack for this.
73
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,786
I'm running congressman Murray's
reelection bid.
74
00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:07,321
Ohio, 19.
75
00:03:07,372 --> 00:03:09,406
I need someone
to coordinate out of D.C.
76
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,659
You want to do it?
77
00:03:11,710 --> 00:03:14,161
Yeah, that sounds great,
but the Pacers called,
78
00:03:14,212 --> 00:03:16,080
and they're asking me to be
their starting point guard.
79
00:03:16,114 --> 00:03:17,381
I'm being serious, Ben.
80
00:03:17,415 --> 00:03:19,967
What?
81
00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:22,336
What, you trust me with
a congressional campaign?
82
00:03:22,387 --> 00:03:24,221
Is this a trick?
83
00:03:24,255 --> 00:03:25,723
No.
This is a job offer.
84
00:03:25,757 --> 00:03:27,057
Give me your answer soon.
85
00:03:27,092 --> 00:03:30,811
I need you in Washington
in two days.
86
00:03:33,131 --> 00:03:35,899
Look at that thing.
What is that?
87
00:03:35,934 --> 00:03:37,017
Don't touch it.
88
00:03:38,269 --> 00:03:39,570
Ann Perkins.
89
00:03:39,604 --> 00:03:40,854
Can I ask your
advice on something?
90
00:03:40,905 --> 00:03:41,855
Sure.
91
00:03:41,906 --> 00:03:43,157
Recently
in a moment of weakness,
92
00:03:43,191 --> 00:03:45,743
I had sex with Bobby Newport's
campaign manager
93
00:03:45,777 --> 00:03:46,860
Jennifer Barkley.
94
00:03:46,911 --> 00:03:47,861
Seriously?
95
00:03:47,912 --> 00:03:49,580
Yes. Several times.
96
00:03:49,614 --> 00:03:50,698
And then several more times.
97
00:03:50,749 --> 00:03:53,534
And then
a couple more times.
98
00:03:53,585 --> 00:03:54,752
And then one more time.
99
00:03:54,786 --> 00:03:56,319
How has this been going on?
100
00:03:56,338 --> 00:03:57,454
Oh, it was just last night.
101
00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,707
Now, I know
it's a one-night stand
102
00:03:59,758 --> 00:04:00,991
and that she's leaving town,
103
00:04:01,009 --> 00:04:03,594
but our ferocious
sexual decathlon
104
00:04:03,628 --> 00:04:05,295
did radically improve my mood.
105
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:08,098
And I kind of like to see
her again before she leaves.
106
00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:10,601
Good idea? Bad idea?
107
00:04:10,635 --> 00:04:12,002
I don't know.
108
00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:14,221
I guess
the campaign's over, so...
109
00:04:14,272 --> 00:04:15,889
I suppose it couldn't hurt.
110
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,026
Ann Perkins.
111
00:04:20,445 --> 00:04:23,197
April!
Got your message.
112
00:04:23,231 --> 00:04:24,231
Where are you?
113
00:04:24,282 --> 00:04:25,532
Under the table.
114
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,786
Why are you hiding?
115
00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:31,071
Should I hide too?
What's going on?
116
00:04:31,122 --> 00:04:32,990
I was supposed to copy
all the department files
117
00:04:33,024 --> 00:04:34,691
onto a thumb drive,
and it kept freezing,
118
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,410
and I got annoyed,
and I don't know what happened,
119
00:04:36,461 --> 00:04:39,213
but all the files are gone
on every computer.
120
00:04:39,247 --> 00:04:40,798
They're all gone.
Babe, they're all gone.
121
00:04:40,832 --> 00:04:41,832
Okay, okay.
Calm down.
122
00:04:41,866 --> 00:04:43,584
First of all,
you did the right thing
123
00:04:43,635 --> 00:04:45,252
by hiding under this table.
124
00:04:45,303 --> 00:04:47,755
Secondly, your man is here.
125
00:04:47,806 --> 00:04:49,640
I'm gonna take care
of this for us.
126
00:04:49,674 --> 00:04:51,842
I've been playing Xbox
for years.
127
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:54,678
I'm really good at fixing it
when it freezes.
128
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:55,979
I know exactly what to do.
129
00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:03,937
Try it now.
130
00:05:04,788 --> 00:05:05,555
I don't know.
131
00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:06,774
I feel like
I'm forgetting something.
132
00:05:06,825 --> 00:05:08,242
What about my speeches?
133
00:05:08,276 --> 00:05:09,276
Finished both of them
last night.
134
00:05:09,327 --> 00:05:10,778
One if you win,
one if you lose.
135
00:05:10,829 --> 00:05:11,912
What if I tie?
136
00:05:11,946 --> 00:05:13,414
You need to write
a tie-speech for me,
137
00:05:13,448 --> 00:05:15,916
something about
the poetic nature of democracy
138
00:05:15,950 --> 00:05:17,668
and how I'm going fight
this thing from my prison cell--
139
00:05:17,702 --> 00:05:19,086
Leslie, relax.
We're done.
140
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,370
All that's left
is the waiting.
141
00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:21,505
Okay?
142
00:05:21,539 --> 00:05:23,290
What were you talking
to Jen about?
143
00:05:24,542 --> 00:05:25,709
Oh, nothing.
144
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:29,430
No, I just-- yeah, nothing.
She-- she's--
145
00:05:29,464 --> 00:05:31,348
nothing. Nothing.
It's nothing.
146
00:05:31,382 --> 00:05:33,350
Hey, what's a good place
to buy jeans?
147
00:05:33,384 --> 00:05:35,352
You have plenty of jeans.
148
00:05:35,386 --> 00:05:37,420
What were you talking about?
149
00:05:37,439 --> 00:05:41,308
Jen offered me a job working
on a congressional campaign...
150
00:05:41,359 --> 00:05:42,693
Oh, my God,
that's amazing.
151
00:05:42,727 --> 00:05:43,727
In Washington.
152
00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,279
What?
153
00:05:45,313 --> 00:05:47,764
Are you happy or angry?
154
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,783
I don't know.
I don't know.
155
00:05:50,318 --> 00:05:51,985
What did you say?
Did you say, "yes?"
156
00:05:52,036 --> 00:05:53,570
I haven't had a chance
to think about it.
157
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,656
I mean, it sounds amazing,
158
00:05:55,707 --> 00:05:58,792
but you know, six months
in Washington, D.C.
159
00:05:59,327 --> 00:06:02,663
Away from you, but you know,
we should talk about it.
160
00:06:02,714 --> 00:06:03,714
Yeah.
We'll just talk about it.
161
00:06:03,748 --> 00:06:04,715
You know,
we'll mull it over,
162
00:06:04,749 --> 00:06:06,116
we'll look at it
from every side.
163
00:06:06,134 --> 00:06:07,334
Et cetera, et cetera.
Just--
164
00:06:07,385 --> 00:06:08,335
I'm going to go vote,
165
00:06:08,386 --> 00:06:10,387
just fulfill
a lifelong dream of mine
166
00:06:10,421 --> 00:06:11,955
and achieve one of
my all-time happiest moments
167
00:06:11,973 --> 00:06:14,391
real quick,
and then we will talk about it.
168
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:16,510
Cool.
169
00:06:33,578 --> 00:06:35,195
Leslie, I can't figure
this thing out.
170
00:06:35,246 --> 00:06:36,497
Can you help me?
171
00:06:36,531 --> 00:06:37,614
Yeah, just hang on a second,
Bobby.
172
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:38,648
Ink all over my hands,
173
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:41,368
and the pen thing-y came
off the chain.
174
00:06:42,419 --> 00:06:43,794
I don't get it!
175
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:49,962
The polls have just closed,
176
00:06:49,996 --> 00:06:52,331
and now we're getting results
in the race for city council.
177
00:06:52,382 --> 00:06:54,466
With just 1%
of the precincts reporting,
178
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:57,836
adult film star Brandi Maxxxx
has a commanding lead.
179
00:06:57,887 --> 00:06:59,171
Oh, my God.
That's it.
180
00:06:59,222 --> 00:07:00,856
It's not Bobby Newport
who's going to beat me,
181
00:07:00,890 --> 00:07:02,374
it's Brandi Maxxxx,
the porn star.
182
00:07:02,409 --> 00:07:03,559
What is this? Italy?
183
00:07:03,593 --> 00:07:04,910
Listen,
I know you're stressed out,
184
00:07:04,944 --> 00:07:06,345
and I figured you would be,
185
00:07:06,379 --> 00:07:07,963
so I took the liberty
of arranging
186
00:07:07,981 --> 00:07:09,481
a fun little activity for us.
187
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:10,649
- You did?
- Mm-hmm.
188
00:07:10,684 --> 00:07:11,800
Oh, Ann.
Thank you so much.
189
00:07:11,818 --> 00:07:13,102
I've said this to you before,
190
00:07:13,136 --> 00:07:14,103
and I know it makes you
uncomfortable...
191
00:07:14,137 --> 00:07:15,404
Oh, boy.
192
00:07:15,438 --> 00:07:16,989
But you're thoughtful,
and you're brilliant,
193
00:07:17,023 --> 00:07:19,307
and your ambiguous ethnic blend
perfectly represents
194
00:07:19,326 --> 00:07:21,777
the dream
of the American melting pot.
195
00:07:21,811 --> 00:07:23,979
Okay, let's go.
196
00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:28,751
Another, Dana,
please and thank you.
197
00:07:28,785 --> 00:07:31,337
Ron, I handed out
1,000 leaflets today.
198
00:07:31,371 --> 00:07:33,922
That is a personal best.
Now I'm off to vote.
199
00:07:34,457 --> 00:07:35,774
The polls are closed.
200
00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:37,209
What?
No, no, no.
201
00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:38,710
I thought that
they close at 8:00.
202
00:07:39,261 --> 00:07:40,846
6:00.
203
00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:42,547
Oh, my God.
204
00:07:42,581 --> 00:07:44,049
Ron, I didn't get
to vote for Leslie.
205
00:07:44,083 --> 00:07:45,350
Oh, my God,
what do I do?
206
00:07:45,385 --> 00:07:46,635
Nothing you can do.
207
00:07:46,686 --> 00:07:49,021
Except hope Leslie
doesn't lose by one vote.
208
00:07:49,555 --> 00:07:52,891
9% of precincts reporting,
and it's razor-thin
209
00:07:52,925 --> 00:07:54,776
and getting razor-thinner.
210
00:07:54,811 --> 00:07:56,194
Oh, boy.
211
00:07:56,229 --> 00:07:57,813
No. No.
212
00:07:57,864 --> 00:07:59,231
Jen Barkley.
213
00:07:59,265 --> 00:08:02,534
Hey.
What are you doing here?
214
00:08:02,568 --> 00:08:05,454
That was fun last night,
you old screamer.
215
00:08:05,488 --> 00:08:07,939
There were moments that
I didn't fully understand
216
00:08:07,957 --> 00:08:09,274
some of the physical shapes
that we were making...
217
00:08:09,292 --> 00:08:10,325
Mm.
218
00:08:10,376 --> 00:08:11,793
But the sensations
were amazing.
219
00:08:11,828 --> 00:08:13,662
- So I just went with it.
- Great.
220
00:08:13,713 --> 00:08:15,080
Well, I thought
that we could just talk
221
00:08:15,114 --> 00:08:16,832
before you left town
if that's okay.
222
00:08:16,883 --> 00:08:19,167
No, but there's a supply room
over there with a futon.
223
00:08:19,218 --> 00:08:20,836
Great.
224
00:08:20,887 --> 00:08:23,972
Not yet. Just wait--
we're just getting supplies.
225
00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:27,142
Anybody need anything?
Pushpins-- okay, good.
226
00:08:27,176 --> 00:08:28,977
Please hurry.
227
00:08:29,012 --> 00:08:30,896
I told her it's a matter
of life and death.
228
00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,297
Honey,
Donna's been here forever.
229
00:08:32,315 --> 00:08:33,298
She's going
to know what to do.
230
00:08:33,316 --> 00:08:34,466
What if she doesn't?
231
00:08:34,484 --> 00:08:35,984
I could get fired.
232
00:08:36,019 --> 00:08:38,470
Or even worse,
Leslie might give me a lecture
233
00:08:38,488 --> 00:08:40,305
on responsibility again,
I can't do it.
234
00:08:40,323 --> 00:08:41,573
I'll tell you what, honey.
235
00:08:41,607 --> 00:08:44,192
Here's the deal.
You get fired, I'll quit.
236
00:08:44,243 --> 00:08:45,310
We'll leave together.
237
00:08:45,328 --> 00:08:47,079
I'm serious.
Move to a new city.
238
00:08:47,113 --> 00:08:48,447
Change our names,
239
00:08:48,481 --> 00:08:50,749
burn our fingertips off
with acid,
240
00:08:50,783 --> 00:08:52,034
swap faces.
241
00:08:52,085 --> 00:08:54,002
- What?
- If we have to.
242
00:08:54,037 --> 00:08:55,504
Good.
243
00:08:55,538 --> 00:08:57,756
Yes. Nice.
Keep punching.
244
00:08:57,790 --> 00:08:58,924
- Did I hit your boob?
- No.
245
00:08:58,958 --> 00:09:00,175
Sorry.
246
00:09:00,209 --> 00:09:01,176
Great form.
247
00:09:01,210 --> 00:09:03,095
Maybe.
I have no idea actually.
248
00:09:03,129 --> 00:09:05,013
- I don't know what I'm doing.
- Yeah!
249
00:09:05,048 --> 00:09:06,331
That was good.
I'm exhausted.
250
00:09:06,349 --> 00:09:07,432
How long was that?
251
00:09:07,467 --> 00:09:08,517
22 seconds.
252
00:09:09,051 --> 00:09:10,352
Boy,
that's disappointing.
253
00:09:10,886 --> 00:09:12,721
What are you going
to do about Ben?
254
00:09:12,772 --> 00:09:14,723
I just-- I've been running
for office the entire time
255
00:09:14,774 --> 00:09:15,857
we've been dating.
256
00:09:15,892 --> 00:09:18,360
We're just about
to get our lives back.
257
00:09:18,394 --> 00:09:20,011
It would kill me if he left.
258
00:09:20,029 --> 00:09:21,146
Then tell him that.
259
00:09:21,180 --> 00:09:23,699
Go find him
and tell him how you feel.
260
00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:25,683
And then the two of you could
work it out together.
261
00:09:28,321 --> 00:09:29,538
Election results, Ann.
262
00:09:29,572 --> 00:09:31,373
Ann, Ann, I can't read it.
263
00:09:31,407 --> 00:09:32,958
- Okay.
- Ann, my hands. My hands, Ann.
264
00:09:32,992 --> 00:09:33,959
- Here.
- They're in these round gloves.
265
00:09:33,993 --> 00:09:35,794
Here. Okay.
266
00:09:35,828 --> 00:09:37,129
20% of the precincts reporting.
267
00:09:37,163 --> 00:09:40,716
Bobby Newport
is up by 140 votes.
268
00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:42,884
Okay.
Let's get your hands back up.
269
00:09:42,919 --> 00:09:44,886
- Okay.
- Go another eight seconds.
270
00:09:45,922 --> 00:09:47,055
Oh, God, I'm so tired.
271
00:09:48,090 --> 00:09:49,558
Gin and tonic, please.
272
00:09:49,592 --> 00:09:53,378
Belay that order, Dana.
Lagavulin, neat.
273
00:09:53,896 --> 00:09:56,600
Clear alcohols are
for rich women on diets.
274
00:09:58,651 --> 00:10:00,569
What's on your mind, son?
275
00:10:00,603 --> 00:10:05,240
Well, Jen Barkley offered me
a job in Washington.
276
00:10:05,274 --> 00:10:10,328
A great job, but I think
Leslie wants me to stay.
277
00:10:10,363 --> 00:10:11,780
What would you do?
278
00:10:12,331 --> 00:10:14,750
Well, I've never been one
for meeting new people
279
00:10:14,784 --> 00:10:19,037
or doing new things
or eating new types of food
280
00:10:19,071 --> 00:10:21,706
or traveling outside
of southern Indiana.
281
00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:24,509
I've had the same haircut
since 1978,
282
00:10:24,544 --> 00:10:27,262
and I've driven
the same car since 1991.
283
00:10:27,296 --> 00:10:31,216
I've used the same wooden comb
for three decades.
284
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:32,851
I have one bowl.
285
00:10:32,885 --> 00:10:35,020
I still get my milk
delivered by horse.
286
00:10:35,054 --> 00:10:36,304
You do?
287
00:10:36,355 --> 00:10:38,306
But you and Leslie
like to hold hands
288
00:10:38,357 --> 00:10:42,310
and jump off of cliffs together
into the great unknown.
289
00:10:45,013 --> 00:10:47,899
You two have
a good relationship.
290
00:10:47,933 --> 00:10:50,619
I don't personally know
what that's like,
291
00:10:50,653 --> 00:10:53,488
but I'm given to understand
that means you're going to land
292
00:10:53,523 --> 00:10:54,956
on your feet.
293
00:10:54,991 --> 00:11:00,462
So you really want things
to just stay exactly the same?
294
00:11:00,496 --> 00:11:02,714
But if Leslie wins,
you get my old job,
295
00:11:02,748 --> 00:11:04,332
assistant city manager, right?
296
00:11:04,383 --> 00:11:05,917
Seems that way.
297
00:11:05,951 --> 00:11:08,470
Then good luck
to the both of us.
298
00:11:13,675 --> 00:11:14,342
Hey--uh!
299
00:11:14,393 --> 00:11:15,393
Hmm!
300
00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:20,348
I have an update that
contains new information.
301
00:11:20,399 --> 00:11:23,268
With 74%
of the precincts reporting,
302
00:11:23,302 --> 00:11:26,655
Leslie Knope is now winning
by 192 votes.
303
00:11:26,689 --> 00:11:27,823
Oh, thank God.
304
00:11:27,857 --> 00:11:29,941
Oh, lord, please, please.
Let her win.
305
00:11:29,975 --> 00:11:31,109
Please, lord.
Please, lord, let her win.
306
00:11:31,143 --> 00:11:32,644
Please let her win.
307
00:11:32,662 --> 00:11:35,030
I'm just going to say this.
308
00:11:35,064 --> 00:11:37,399
And I realize this after
speaking with my best friend
309
00:11:37,433 --> 00:11:38,733
and relationship advisor
Ann Perkins
310
00:11:38,768 --> 00:11:39,751
from the department of health.
311
00:11:39,785 --> 00:11:41,503
Yes, I know Ann.
312
00:11:41,537 --> 00:11:43,171
I don't want you
to go to Washington.
313
00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:45,757
I know
it's an amazing opportunity,
314
00:11:45,791 --> 00:11:47,792
but in just a few minutes,
all this craziness
315
00:11:47,826 --> 00:11:48,793
is going to be over,
316
00:11:48,827 --> 00:11:52,214
and I just want
to have dinner with you.
317
00:11:52,265 --> 00:11:54,015
Like normal people.
318
00:11:54,050 --> 00:11:55,600
Yeah, then I won't go.
319
00:11:56,235 --> 00:11:56,935
Really?
320
00:11:56,969 --> 00:11:58,670
Yeah. Easy.
321
00:11:58,688 --> 00:12:00,272
I mean, I was on the fence
about it anyway.
322
00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:02,557
Washington's really far away,
323
00:12:02,608 --> 00:12:04,276
and I don't know
if I want to work with Jen.
324
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:06,278
I mean, this just seals
the deal. I'll stay.
325
00:12:06,312 --> 00:12:08,396
Oh, thank God.
326
00:12:08,447 --> 00:12:10,815
What a relief.
327
00:12:10,849 --> 00:12:13,368
Guys.
328
00:12:13,402 --> 00:12:15,704
It's been neck-in-neck,
too close to call all night,
329
00:12:15,738 --> 00:12:17,239
but now we're ready
to make a call
330
00:12:17,290 --> 00:12:18,790
in the race for city council.
331
00:12:18,824 --> 00:12:19,791
Bobby Newport...
332
00:12:19,825 --> 00:12:20,876
Oh, no.
333
00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:22,377
Scion of the Sweetums
candy empire
334
00:12:22,411 --> 00:12:25,330
and amateur go-kart champion
has won the race.
335
00:12:28,084 --> 00:12:29,384
Why are you laughing?
336
00:12:29,418 --> 00:12:31,836
Because my dream is dead.
337
00:12:33,205 --> 00:12:35,206
Oh, oh.
338
00:12:35,224 --> 00:12:36,708
Oh, [Bleep].
339
00:12:38,097 --> 00:12:39,666
Recount!
There's a recount.
340
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,497
Oh, come on.
It's over.
341
00:12:41,515 --> 00:12:42,515
Just concede.
342
00:12:42,549 --> 00:12:43,833
Newport won by 21 votes.
343
00:12:43,851 --> 00:12:45,852
That's well within
the margin for a recount.
344
00:12:45,886 --> 00:12:48,304
Please don't do this. I
really want to get out of here.
345
00:12:48,338 --> 00:12:50,890
How about this-- why don't I
make you guys a deal?
346
00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:51,891
Okay,
there's no deal in the world
347
00:12:51,942 --> 00:12:53,192
that we would ever possibly--
348
00:12:53,227 --> 00:12:54,310
I'll give you
Joe Biden's home phone number.
349
00:12:54,344 --> 00:12:55,695
Now, hang on.
That's interesting.
350
00:12:55,729 --> 00:12:57,113
No, no,
you're not thinking clearly.
351
00:12:57,147 --> 00:12:58,197
Mr. Commissioner,
352
00:12:58,232 --> 00:12:59,982
the recount
has to start immediately.
353
00:13:00,016 --> 00:13:01,183
It's the law.
354
00:13:01,201 --> 00:13:02,702
Now I'm not leaving
until you make the call.
355
00:13:02,736 --> 00:13:05,238
He's right, Ms. Barkley.
It'll start right away.
356
00:13:05,289 --> 00:13:08,074
- Keep your phones on.
- Terrence!
357
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:11,377
I just want to go home.
358
00:13:11,411 --> 00:13:12,745
Hey, any news?
359
00:13:12,796 --> 00:13:15,882
They said the recount could take
two hours, but who knows.
360
00:13:15,916 --> 00:13:17,049
Man, this is stressful.
361
00:13:17,084 --> 00:13:18,551
I picked the wrong week
to do a juice cleanse.
362
00:13:18,585 --> 00:13:20,369
Okay, I think Leslie
should say something
363
00:13:20,387 --> 00:13:22,338
to the troops just to get
everyone's spirits up.
364
00:13:22,372 --> 00:13:23,389
- Where is she?
- I don't know.
365
00:13:23,423 --> 00:13:25,642
She's not answering her phone.
366
00:13:26,677 --> 00:13:28,761
What?
No one knows where she is?
367
00:13:34,601 --> 00:13:36,235
That's a nice chair.
368
00:13:36,270 --> 00:13:39,772
Corinthian leather,
solid mahogany frame
369
00:13:39,823 --> 00:13:42,725
with what I believe are hand-cut
mortise and tenon joints
370
00:13:42,743 --> 00:13:44,243
pinned with oak.
371
00:13:44,278 --> 00:13:46,445
I was really looking forward
to sitting in it.
372
00:13:46,496 --> 00:13:48,497
Figured this might be
my last chance.
373
00:13:48,532 --> 00:13:50,283
You don't know that.
374
00:13:50,334 --> 00:13:52,251
Ron,
for the last six months,
375
00:13:52,286 --> 00:13:54,003
my friends have worked so hard.
376
00:13:54,037 --> 00:13:56,172
Every five-minute coffee break
at work,
377
00:13:56,206 --> 00:13:58,541
every night, every weekend,
378
00:13:58,575 --> 00:14:00,343
every spare moment
of their lives,
379
00:14:00,377 --> 00:14:01,794
they gave to me.
380
00:14:01,845 --> 00:14:05,615
If I lose,
I'll never forgive myself.
381
00:14:05,649 --> 00:14:07,516
You deserve to win.
382
00:14:08,051 --> 00:14:10,469
We didn't volunteer
to help you
383
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,856
because we wanted to wrap
ourselves in personal glory.
384
00:14:13,891 --> 00:14:18,361
We did it because
we...care about you.
385
00:14:18,395 --> 00:14:21,597
You had a dream, and we
wanted to support your dream.
386
00:14:22,115 --> 00:14:24,700
That's what you do
when you care about someone.
387
00:14:24,735 --> 00:14:27,320
You support them,
win, lose, or draw.
388
00:14:28,121 --> 00:14:29,789
Let's go back to the party.
389
00:14:29,823 --> 00:14:32,376
You drive.
I've had 11 whiskeys.
390
00:14:33,410 --> 00:14:35,578
Okay.
That's good on places to live.
391
00:14:35,612 --> 00:14:37,713
Let's go back to dream jobs.
392
00:14:37,748 --> 00:14:39,832
If we had to start
a new life,
393
00:14:39,883 --> 00:14:43,002
I have Detective, FBI agent,
policeman, CIA agent.
394
00:14:43,053 --> 00:14:44,620
So we need more for you.
Let's go.
395
00:14:44,638 --> 00:14:46,222
- Andy, I--
- It's fun.
396
00:14:46,256 --> 00:14:47,390
I'm trying to help you
397
00:14:47,424 --> 00:14:49,792
take your mind off
of this horrible mistake
398
00:14:49,810 --> 00:14:51,794
you made
deleting all these files,
399
00:14:51,812 --> 00:14:53,479
probably the worst thing
to ever happen
400
00:14:53,513 --> 00:14:54,847
in Parks and Rec history.
401
00:14:54,898 --> 00:14:57,350
You will certainly get fired,
and I'm trying to help.
402
00:14:57,401 --> 00:14:58,567
God.
403
00:14:58,602 --> 00:15:00,653
So dream jobs, go.
Dream big, kid!
404
00:15:00,687 --> 00:15:01,854
Fine.
405
00:15:01,905 --> 00:15:04,640
Uh, dental hygienist
who's also a medium,
406
00:15:04,658 --> 00:15:05,942
so I can clean people's teeth
407
00:15:05,976 --> 00:15:07,476
and tell them
when they're going to die.
408
00:15:07,494 --> 00:15:09,028
That's brilliant.
409
00:15:09,079 --> 00:15:10,246
Let's make this fast.
410
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,814
I almost made it
with Councilman Howser
411
00:15:11,832 --> 00:15:12,832
before you interrupted us.
412
00:15:12,866 --> 00:15:14,033
Which files did you delete?
413
00:15:14,084 --> 00:15:15,150
All of them.
414
00:15:15,168 --> 00:15:17,370
I just put
the stupid flash drive in,
415
00:15:17,421 --> 00:15:18,587
and then I tried to drag
everything over, and--
416
00:15:18,622 --> 00:15:19,605
Fixed it.
417
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:20,873
- What?
- What? How?
418
00:15:20,907 --> 00:15:22,959
Jerry accidentally
deletes things all the time.
419
00:15:22,993 --> 00:15:25,161
Ten years ago, I installed
my own secret backup.
420
00:15:25,195 --> 00:15:27,713
- You saved us, Donna.
- Oh.
421
00:15:27,748 --> 00:15:28,714
- I love you.
- Oh.
422
00:15:28,749 --> 00:15:30,249
Okay.
Bring it in, boy.
423
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:34,887
There you are.
Thank God.
424
00:15:34,921 --> 00:15:36,872
We're going to get
the final results any minute.
425
00:15:36,890 --> 00:15:39,675
I know.
Do you have both my speeches?
426
00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:40,843
Yes.
427
00:15:40,877 --> 00:15:43,346
You seem calmer
than I expected you'd be.
428
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:44,982
I got you something.
429
00:15:46,016 --> 00:15:47,518
Let me open it for you.
430
00:15:53,723 --> 00:15:55,241
You have to go to Washington.
431
00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:57,660
I told you
I'm turning it down.
432
00:15:57,694 --> 00:15:59,495
I was being selfish.
433
00:15:59,529 --> 00:16:02,331
You put your whole life
on hold for me.
434
00:16:02,366 --> 00:16:06,002
The very least I can do
is try to return the favor.
435
00:16:06,036 --> 00:16:07,953
Are you sure about this?
436
00:16:08,005 --> 00:16:09,755
We can make it work.
437
00:16:09,790 --> 00:16:12,124
I will visit you,
then you come visit me.
438
00:16:12,175 --> 00:16:13,509
And then I go visit you again.
439
00:16:13,543 --> 00:16:16,012
And then we make out
in the Lincoln bedroom...
440
00:16:16,046 --> 00:16:17,797
And the Jefferson Memorial
441
00:16:17,848 --> 00:16:19,799
and the Supreme Court gallery.
442
00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:21,767
We'll do it all over Washington.
443
00:16:21,802 --> 00:16:24,353
Thank you.
444
00:16:26,089 --> 00:16:28,357
Where did you get
a Washington Monument figurine
445
00:16:28,392 --> 00:16:30,192
at midnight on a Tuesday?
446
00:16:30,727 --> 00:16:33,479
From my office.
I have, like, 50 of them.
447
00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:35,031
Right.
448
00:16:35,449 --> 00:16:37,149
The recount's over.
449
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,367
They just called the race.
450
00:16:38,402 --> 00:16:39,904
Oh, God.
451
00:16:42,239 --> 00:16:45,276
It's still 21 votes.
452
00:16:48,294 --> 00:16:50,348
But you won.
453
00:16:52,966 --> 00:16:55,785
You won, Leslie.
You won by 21 votes.
454
00:16:56,803 --> 00:16:58,972
It's confirmed.
It's over.
455
00:16:59,006 --> 00:17:00,306
You won.
456
00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:03,008
That was really sneaky, Ann.
457
00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:04,677
I know. I couldn't resist.
458
00:17:14,688 --> 00:17:17,990
Honestly, I've never been more
relieved in my entire life.
459
00:17:18,024 --> 00:17:19,692
I didn't ruin it.
460
00:17:19,743 --> 00:17:22,194
I thought I ruined it,
but I didn't ruin it.
461
00:17:22,245 --> 00:17:23,812
You're kind of ruining it now.
462
00:17:23,830 --> 00:17:25,748
Great.
That is great news.
463
00:17:25,782 --> 00:17:27,583
I'm going to see you in D.C.
464
00:17:27,617 --> 00:17:29,118
- Yeah, I guess you will.
- Yeah.
465
00:17:29,152 --> 00:17:30,920
Oh, damn it.
466
00:17:30,954 --> 00:17:32,671
Didn't get a chance
to say good-bye to Chris.
467
00:17:32,706 --> 00:17:35,424
Oh, he's just
right over there.
468
00:17:35,459 --> 00:17:36,842
Eh.
He seems really busy.
469
00:17:36,877 --> 00:17:38,344
Anyway, would you tell him
I said good-bye?
470
00:17:38,378 --> 00:17:39,512
Great! Thank you.
471
00:17:39,546 --> 00:17:40,679
Sorry we didn't get
a chance to meet.
472
00:17:40,714 --> 00:17:42,181
- I'm Ann.
- That doesn't matter.
473
00:17:42,215 --> 00:17:43,215
I'm leaving.
474
00:17:47,471 --> 00:17:52,024
Congratulations,
Mr. Assistant City Manager.
475
00:17:52,058 --> 00:17:53,309
I'm very grateful, Chris,
476
00:17:53,343 --> 00:17:56,061
but I think I'm going
to turn down the job.
477
00:17:56,113 --> 00:17:57,062
Really? Why?
478
00:17:57,814 --> 00:17:59,782
I like where I am.
479
00:18:01,368 --> 00:18:02,535
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
480
00:18:02,569 --> 00:18:04,353
Did someone just talk
about a job opening?
481
00:18:04,371 --> 00:18:06,372
Because guess
who's got two thumbs
482
00:18:06,406 --> 00:18:09,358
and was just cleared
from insurance fraud?
483
00:18:09,376 --> 00:18:12,461
This guy, you know?
484
00:18:12,496 --> 00:18:15,664
♪ Got off on a technicality ♪
485
00:18:15,698 --> 00:18:17,416
What's the gig?
I'm in.
486
00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:18,417
There's no job for you.
487
00:18:18,468 --> 00:18:19,585
Smart move.
Go with your gut.
488
00:18:19,636 --> 00:18:22,338
All right?
I'll talk to you guys soon.
489
00:18:23,072 --> 00:18:26,175
Your victory speech,
Councilwoman Knope.
490
00:18:26,209 --> 00:18:29,094
Some day, when I'm
more emotionally stable,
491
00:18:29,146 --> 00:18:31,096
I want to read the concession
speech you wrote for me.
492
00:18:31,898 --> 00:18:34,266
I never wrote it.
493
00:18:34,317 --> 00:18:36,152
And I know all of you know
494
00:18:36,186 --> 00:18:38,154
how hard she worked to get here.
495
00:18:38,188 --> 00:18:39,888
She is
the next city councilwoman
496
00:18:39,906 --> 00:18:42,074
from the great city of Pawnee,
ladies and gentlemen,
497
00:18:42,108 --> 00:18:44,860
my best friend in the world,
Leslie Knope.
498
00:18:49,282 --> 00:18:51,667
The idea behind this campaign
was a simple one:
499
00:18:51,701 --> 00:18:54,620
That with hard work
and positivity,
500
00:18:54,671 --> 00:18:57,456
a group of people can make
a difference
501
00:18:57,507 --> 00:19:00,459
during my term
as your city councilor...
502
00:19:01,578 --> 00:19:03,295
Thank you.
503
00:19:03,346 --> 00:19:05,764
I want to focus on your hopes
and not your fears.
504
00:19:05,799 --> 00:19:09,468
I want to solve problems
instead of creating friction.
505
00:19:09,519 --> 00:19:12,938
And I will work hard
every hour of every day
506
00:19:12,973 --> 00:19:15,524
to make Pawnee
a better place to live
507
00:19:15,559 --> 00:19:18,379
because I love this city.
508
00:19:20,313 --> 00:19:25,601
And I know firsthand,
how very special
509
00:19:25,619 --> 00:19:27,436
the people of this city are.
510
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:29,989
I owe this victory,
all of it,
511
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,208
to my friends
and my supporters.
512
00:19:32,242 --> 00:19:35,044
No one achieves
anything alone.
513
00:19:35,078 --> 00:19:37,913
So let's embark
on a new journey together.
514
00:19:37,947 --> 00:19:40,499
Let's break out a map.
515
00:19:40,550 --> 00:19:43,752
Not the old, out-of-date one
that shows where we've been,
516
00:19:43,786 --> 00:19:47,807
but a crisp new one that shows
where we might go.
517
00:19:48,842 --> 00:19:51,595
Let's embark
on a new journey together
518
00:19:53,129 --> 00:19:55,464
and see where it takes us.
519
00:20:00,063 --> 00:20:01,496
Tommy!
520
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:03,332
This party was amazing,
521
00:20:03,366 --> 00:20:04,333
you're amazing.
522
00:20:04,367 --> 00:20:07,302
You are ridiculous,
but I like you,
523
00:20:07,337 --> 00:20:08,720
and I think that
we should date--all of it.
524
00:20:08,755 --> 00:20:10,255
Let's do it.
Let's date.
525
00:20:10,306 --> 00:20:14,259
This is my dream.
Nostra-Thomas is happening.
526
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,728
- Awesome.
- Hey, let's move in together.
527
00:20:16,863 --> 00:20:18,196
Phhhht!
Totally.
528
00:20:18,247 --> 00:20:19,998
- Really?
- Yeah.
529
00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:22,501
All right, no take-backs when
we sober up, little partner.
530
00:20:22,535 --> 00:20:25,787
No take-backs, partner.
531
00:20:25,821 --> 00:20:26,788
We're cowboys.
532
00:20:26,822 --> 00:20:28,757
Great win, great night.
533
00:20:28,791 --> 00:20:31,009
Great year.
Hot wife.
534
00:20:31,444 --> 00:20:32,377
Jackpot.
535
00:20:35,131 --> 00:20:37,099
Good job, me.
536
00:20:37,133 --> 00:20:38,266
Oh, my God.
Babe.
537
00:20:38,301 --> 00:20:39,434
You know what?
538
00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:40,835
Almost everything
you wrote on that board
539
00:20:40,853 --> 00:20:42,637
as a dream job was
some type of police officer.
540
00:20:42,671 --> 00:20:45,140
Yeah.
You ready to go?
541
00:20:45,174 --> 00:20:46,391
No, listen to me.
542
00:20:46,442 --> 00:20:47,392
- Mm-hmm.
- How does this sound?
543
00:20:47,443 --> 00:20:50,363
"Officer Dwyer, Pawnee PD."
544
00:20:51,397 --> 00:20:53,565
Guys, we're going to JJ's
for victory waffles,
545
00:20:53,616 --> 00:20:54,983
and then we're staying up
all night
546
00:20:55,017 --> 00:20:56,485
talking about our lives
and our feelings.
547
00:20:56,519 --> 00:20:58,403
Nonnegotiable.
Let's go!
548
00:20:58,438 --> 00:21:00,822
City council, bitches!
549
00:21:02,024 --> 00:21:05,077
- Jerry forgot to vote.
- Damn it, Jerry.
550
00:21:05,165 --> 00:21:11,116
Sync & corrections by Alice
WEBDL Sync: VeRdiKT
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