1
00:00:00,724 --> 00:00:01,891
Oh, my God.
2
00:00:01,926 --> 00:00:03,393
Oh, my God.
3
00:00:03,427 --> 00:00:05,162
He basically just told
you that picture of his penis
4
00:00:05,196 --> 00:00:06,129
was meant for another girl.
5
00:00:06,164 --> 00:00:08,399
He never mentioned
a girl, so...
6
00:00:08,433 --> 00:00:10,035
Rich massaged Hannah.
7
00:00:10,069 --> 00:00:12,672
- And open up the solar plexus.
- You'll get used to it.
8
00:00:12,706 --> 00:00:14,608
Come on, dude, don't read that.
That's Hannah's journal.
9
00:00:14,642 --> 00:00:16,309
- What?
- Nothing.
10
00:00:16,344 --> 00:00:19,413
- I wasn't properly looking on,
and I lost them. - Lola!
11
00:00:19,447 --> 00:00:21,350
- Well, we've all done it.
- We have?
12
00:00:21,384 --> 00:00:23,052
I have.
13
00:00:23,086 --> 00:00:25,088
I'll totally have sex with you once
you've, like, already had sex.
14
00:00:25,123 --> 00:00:28,058
I just-- You know,
it's like,
15
00:00:28,093 --> 00:00:29,594
virgins get attached.
16
00:00:29,628 --> 00:00:32,464
I just want someone who wants
to hang out all the time
17
00:00:32,498 --> 00:00:34,232
and thinks I'm the best
person in the world
18
00:00:34,266 --> 00:00:36,501
and wants to have sex
with only me.
19
00:00:36,535 --> 00:00:38,302
And this is called
"Hannah's Diary."
20
00:00:38,337 --> 00:00:40,271
"Marnie has to stop whining.
21
00:00:40,305 --> 00:00:41,905
Better to end it now.
22
00:00:41,940 --> 00:00:45,776
He'll find someone that appreciates
his kind of smothering love."
23
00:00:45,811 --> 00:00:48,645
- Aah!
- Everyone have a great night.
24
00:00:50,294 --> 00:00:54,747
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:00:55,652 --> 00:00:58,889
- Read it, Hannah.
- Please, no.
26
00:00:58,923 --> 00:01:01,058
- Hannah, just read it.
- Marnie doesn't want me to read it.
27
00:01:01,092 --> 00:01:02,426
Just read it.
28
00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:05,062
I need to hear the honesty
in your voice, just read it.
29
00:01:11,234 --> 00:01:13,669
"Marnie has to stop whining
and break up with him already.
30
00:01:13,703 --> 00:01:15,304
Of course it will be painful,
31
00:01:15,338 --> 00:01:16,972
but she's already in so much agony...
32
00:01:17,006 --> 00:01:19,842
Stuck in a prison
of his kindness."
33
00:01:19,877 --> 00:01:22,912
- That's not necessarily a bad--
- Just finish, just finish.
34
00:01:22,946 --> 00:01:25,982
"Just because someone is kind
doesn't mean they're right.
35
00:01:26,016 --> 00:01:28,418
Better to end it now,
cut off the limb,
36
00:01:28,452 --> 00:01:30,653
and let the stump heal.
He'll find someone else,
37
00:01:30,687 --> 00:01:33,155
someone who appreciates his
kind of smothering love."
38
00:01:33,189 --> 00:01:35,923
Oh, nice.
39
00:01:35,958 --> 00:01:38,359
Okay, I wish I never found it.
40
00:01:38,393 --> 00:01:41,628
I do. I swear.
I wish I never found it, but I did.
41
00:01:41,662 --> 00:01:42,962
You know?
I did.
44
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:48,834
No, Hannah knows nothing.
45
00:01:48,868 --> 00:01:51,402
It is a journal!
Why would she lie in the journal?!
46
00:01:51,437 --> 00:01:53,304
That is the point,
is not to lie!
47
00:01:55,074 --> 00:01:56,574
Okay, I don't want
to split hairs here,
48
00:01:56,609 --> 00:01:58,543
but it's actually not
a journal, it's a notebook.
49
00:01:58,577 --> 00:02:00,111
It's notes for a book.
50
00:02:00,146 --> 00:02:01,613
Oh, so you want
the whole fucking world
51
00:02:01,647 --> 00:02:04,616
to hear all your valuable
thoughts about my relationship?
52
00:02:04,650 --> 00:02:06,251
No, I'm just saying that
I feel that "journal" implies
53
00:02:06,285 --> 00:02:08,319
like, a 13-year-old girl
who rides horses
54
00:02:08,354 --> 00:02:10,421
and is obsessed with her mom.
It's not what I'm doing.
55
00:02:10,456 --> 00:02:13,491
It's not yours to write about, Hannah.
It's my life.
56
00:02:13,525 --> 00:02:16,860
Okay, I deserve
honesty and respect
57
00:02:16,894 --> 00:02:20,096
because I am an important
part of this community.
58
00:02:20,130 --> 00:02:21,564
What community?
59
00:02:21,598 --> 00:02:24,667
The fucking community
of this apartment.
60
00:02:24,701 --> 00:02:26,702
- You are.
- You don't pay rent.
61
00:02:26,737 --> 00:02:27,970
Oh, shut up.
You know what?
62
00:02:28,004 --> 00:02:30,406
I wouldn't even want
to stay here if I wanted to.
63
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,374
You know what it's like
to not have me here?
64
00:02:32,409 --> 00:02:33,842
- That's what that feels like.
- Holy shit!
65
00:02:33,877 --> 00:02:35,945
- That's what that feels like.
- Oh, my God!
66
00:02:35,979 --> 00:02:38,080
- Okay, I built this. I built this fucking thing.
- You're being crazy.
67
00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,082
That's the kind of thing you do right
before you hit us. Don't hit us!
68
00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:42,652
- You're a dick. So are you.
- Charlie! Come back.
69
00:02:42,686 --> 00:02:44,053
- You guys are fucking dicks.
- You really hurt me.
70
00:02:44,088 --> 00:02:47,357
- My ankle knob and my knee!
- Oh, fuck you!
71
00:02:47,391 --> 00:02:50,060
I did nothing wrong!
I didn't write it!
72
00:02:50,094 --> 00:02:51,661
Oh, that's funny.
That's so true.
73
00:02:51,695 --> 00:02:53,162
Didn't fucking write it.
74
00:02:58,936 --> 00:03:00,837
- Hey, Marnie?
- What?
75
00:03:00,871 --> 00:03:03,173
If you had read the essay
and it wasn't about you,
76
00:03:03,207 --> 00:03:05,041
do you think you
would've liked it?
77
00:03:05,076 --> 00:03:06,577
Just as, like,
a piece of writing.
78
00:03:27,366 --> 00:03:29,534
I'm going to get him back.
79
00:03:29,568 --> 00:03:32,003
I'm going to put on my party
dress and my sorry face,
80
00:03:32,038 --> 00:03:33,105
and I'm going to get him back.
81
00:03:33,139 --> 00:03:35,040
Are you sure that's
what you want?
82
00:03:35,074 --> 00:03:37,042
I mean, you didn't
seem happy with him.
83
00:03:37,077 --> 00:03:38,810
I'm definitely not happy now.
84
00:03:38,845 --> 00:03:40,578
You've done real damage.
85
00:03:40,613 --> 00:03:42,213
Okay, I didn't leave
my notebook out.
86
00:03:42,247 --> 00:03:44,348
He was snooping through all my stuff.
That's like a crime.
87
00:03:44,383 --> 00:03:47,585
You said some really, really mean
things about our relationship.
88
00:03:47,619 --> 00:03:49,721
But they were true.
89
00:03:49,755 --> 00:03:51,456
Maybe you just can't see
this that clearly
90
00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:53,391
because you've never
been loved this much.
91
00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:58,095
Except by me.
I love you that much.
92
00:03:58,130 --> 00:03:59,697
Right.
93
00:03:59,731 --> 00:04:03,434
And your dad, obviously.
94
00:04:03,468 --> 00:04:05,169
And your boss.
95
00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:07,405
I hate everyone who loves me.
96
00:04:07,439 --> 00:04:09,974
He touches my butt,
Chastity, Lesley...
97
00:04:10,009 --> 00:04:11,676
But, like, mine
kind of especially.
98
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:14,145
And then I'm 20 minutes late, and
he doesn't say anything about it.
99
00:04:14,179 --> 00:04:16,146
So I'm not gonna complain
about the whole thing.
100
00:04:16,181 --> 00:04:17,581
Okay, be honest.
101
00:04:17,616 --> 00:04:19,616
You're sort of flattered
by the whole thing.
102
00:04:19,651 --> 00:04:22,619
I'm not flattered by
sexual harassment.
103
00:04:22,654 --> 00:04:24,988
Why not?
I love that stuff.
104
00:04:25,022 --> 00:04:27,957
"Sir, I have half a mind to call
the authorities. How dare you?"
105
00:04:29,626 --> 00:04:31,060
You should hump him.
106
00:04:31,094 --> 00:04:33,462
That is disgusting.
I would never.
107
00:04:33,496 --> 00:04:36,699
He would like that.
I would never. Why?
108
00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:38,468
For the story, Hannah.
109
00:04:38,502 --> 00:04:41,004
Well, I can't fuck anyone
'cause I have a boyfriend.
110
00:04:41,039 --> 00:04:42,973
- Who?
- Adam.
111
00:04:43,007 --> 00:04:44,575
I told him everything.
112
00:04:44,609 --> 00:04:46,310
How he was torturing me.
How sad I was,
113
00:04:46,344 --> 00:04:47,845
and he responded
in such a lovely way.
114
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:49,981
He kissed me and kissed
me and kissed me
115
00:04:50,016 --> 00:04:51,449
and he said,
"Be who you are."
116
00:04:51,484 --> 00:04:53,118
And he touched my face.
117
00:04:53,153 --> 00:04:55,388
And, like, we're
basically together now.
118
00:04:55,422 --> 00:04:57,089
Right.
119
00:04:57,124 --> 00:04:59,858
Well, guys like that
will try anything once.
120
00:04:59,893 --> 00:05:01,927
Even love.
121
00:05:16,512 --> 00:05:18,646
What color's that, awkward-marine?
122
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,515
- Eggshell blue.
- Eggshell blue?
123
00:05:21,550 --> 00:05:23,884
I like the way it finely
clashes with your mascara.
124
00:05:23,919 --> 00:05:25,987
It just kind of
aggressively clashes.
125
00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:27,655
- Ray?
- Just finishing up with a customer here.
126
00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:30,458
Just aggressively
just clashing.
127
00:05:30,493 --> 00:05:32,761
Bang, bang, bang.
You have bangs, too.
128
00:05:32,795 --> 00:05:35,631
- All right, let me know what you think.
- Ray.
129
00:05:35,665 --> 00:05:37,366
I hope to God no one thinks
you're here to see me.
130
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,368
I am here to see you.
131
00:05:39,402 --> 00:05:41,470
Look, I get you, okay?
132
00:05:41,504 --> 00:05:43,439
I know what you're about,
and I don't like it.
133
00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:45,874
- You don't like it?
- I don't like it, okay?
134
00:05:45,909 --> 00:05:49,411
I don't like it when you ass-fuck
my best friend in the heart.
135
00:05:49,446 --> 00:05:51,213
I don't know what that means.
136
00:05:51,248 --> 00:05:54,082
- Charlie's a good guy, okay?
- I know.
137
00:05:54,117 --> 00:05:57,619
He's not some dickhole
for you to toy around with.
138
00:05:57,653 --> 00:05:59,087
Are you, like,
in love with him?
139
00:05:59,122 --> 00:06:01,656
More than you are.
Yeah, maybe I am. Okay?
140
00:06:01,691 --> 00:06:03,292
And the last thing he needs
is more abuse from you.
141
00:06:03,326 --> 00:06:04,993
- I know.
- You know?
142
00:06:05,028 --> 00:06:06,528
Yes.
143
00:06:06,562 --> 00:06:08,664
If you know, then what the fuck
are you doing here right now?
144
00:06:08,698 --> 00:06:11,700
- I need his address.
- You've never--
145
00:06:11,734 --> 00:06:13,302
Been to his apartment, no.
146
00:06:13,336 --> 00:06:16,205
I've never been to his apartment, okay?
So I need his address.
147
00:06:18,108 --> 00:06:20,877
- Come on, Ray.
- Don't, don't gesture like that.
148
00:06:20,911 --> 00:06:23,547
Don't make a scene.
149
00:06:23,581 --> 00:06:25,015
I'm only writing this down
because it's starting to smell
150
00:06:25,049 --> 00:06:26,383
like a Bath & Body Works
in here.
151
00:06:26,417 --> 00:06:28,151
Typically I'd ask for
a blowjob or something,
152
00:06:28,186 --> 00:06:30,086
but I don't even wanna
hate-fuck you.
153
00:06:30,121 --> 00:06:32,022
It's that real.
154
00:06:32,056 --> 00:06:35,358
You shrink me up,
balls right in my stomach.
155
00:06:35,393 --> 00:06:36,660
What?
156
00:06:40,165 --> 00:06:42,667
Good work, keep it up.
157
00:06:44,436 --> 00:06:46,604
Chastity, sweetheart,
would you show Hannah
158
00:06:46,638 --> 00:06:49,540
how to break down
a freakin' box?
159
00:07:10,793 --> 00:07:14,829
- You did all of this?
- Yeah.
160
00:07:14,864 --> 00:07:17,732
I mean, Ray helped.
161
00:07:17,767 --> 00:07:20,535
I am so impressed.
162
00:07:20,569 --> 00:07:22,971
Seriously, it looks
awesome in here.
163
00:07:23,005 --> 00:07:25,173
It's like a Target ad.
Perfect.
164
00:07:25,208 --> 00:07:27,275
- A Target ad?
- Yeah.
165
00:07:27,310 --> 00:07:28,944
Everything has a place.
It's awesome.
166
00:07:28,978 --> 00:07:31,713
Yeah, I know. I think it came
out pretty good, you're right.
167
00:07:31,747 --> 00:07:33,715
It's not quite Target ad but...
168
00:07:33,749 --> 00:07:36,218
Whatever.
169
00:07:37,921 --> 00:07:39,988
I kept telling you.
170
00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:41,691
I kept telling you
to come over.
171
00:07:41,725 --> 00:07:44,327
You never told me
to come over here.
172
00:07:44,362 --> 00:07:48,232
I did. I told you
a bunch of times...
173
00:07:48,266 --> 00:07:50,000
And then I stopped.
174
00:07:50,035 --> 00:07:52,737
Well, it's not exactly easy for
me to get here from work, so...
175
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:55,807
It's not that hard.
I take the bus to the train.
176
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:58,643
Yeah, well, you never
sleep here.
177
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,047
- So...
- Well, I will now.
178
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,686
So, we'll be back
around 7:00,
179
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,688
but if we're late,
180
00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:11,823
just order pizza
or some takeout...
181
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,795
Whoa, you look fancy.
182
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,263
I'm going out,
183
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:19,331
but I will be back in
time for the children.
184
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,633
Okay, where you going?
185
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:25,170
To meet a friend
from San Francisco.
186
00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:26,705
Boyfriend?
187
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:29,774
Well, he was, but, uh...
188
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,911
Actually, I don't even know why
he wants to see me, he dumped me.
189
00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:35,981
- Ha! Seriously?
- Yeah.
190
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,683
I know, it's embarrassing. What?
You've never been dumped?
191
00:08:38,717 --> 00:08:41,419
Are you kidding? I always got dumped.
I never dumped a girl.
192
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:42,787
Okay, you're lying.
193
00:08:42,821 --> 00:08:45,156
Yeah, I'm lying because
I want to sound so cool.
194
00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:47,758
So those keys did
not work to the storage unit,
195
00:08:47,792 --> 00:08:51,861
so we're just going to have
to buy new boogie boards.
196
00:08:51,895 --> 00:08:55,131
- Hi, everyone.
- Hi.
197
00:08:56,967 --> 00:09:00,302
So this is
where the party's at.
198
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:04,139
- I'm actually just leaving.
- Oh.
199
00:09:04,174 --> 00:09:06,108
Jessa, is that
Katherine's lipstick?
200
00:09:06,142 --> 00:09:08,610
Oh, don't be
a tattletale, Jeff.
201
00:09:08,644 --> 00:09:12,080
It's totally cool. I have like 15 from gift bags.
They're free, so...
202
00:09:12,114 --> 00:09:15,183
Yeah, okay, well...
203
00:09:15,217 --> 00:09:16,517
I'm leaving.
204
00:09:16,552 --> 00:09:19,520
Oh, where are you--
Oh.
205
00:09:19,554 --> 00:09:22,989
- See you, Jeff.
- Yeah. See you.
206
00:09:24,492 --> 00:09:26,760
Look, we're not grown-ups.
207
00:09:26,794 --> 00:09:28,995
We don't have kids.
208
00:09:29,029 --> 00:09:31,630
- We don't share a house.
- But I love your house.
209
00:09:31,665 --> 00:09:34,266
There is nothing
keeping us together
210
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:37,536
other than the fact that we have
already been together for so long.
211
00:09:38,872 --> 00:09:40,706
Look...
212
00:09:43,010 --> 00:09:44,244
I'm...
213
00:09:44,278 --> 00:09:46,813
I don't know what there
is left to say.
214
00:09:48,116 --> 00:09:51,018
You're not in love
with me anymore.
215
00:09:57,993 --> 00:09:59,493
Just breathe, okay?
216
00:09:59,528 --> 00:10:02,129
- Just breathe. Are you okay?
- I'm breathing.
217
00:10:02,163 --> 00:10:04,264
I can't move.
I'm stuck to this pole.
218
00:10:04,298 --> 00:10:06,433
What did you eat?
What did you drink?
219
00:10:06,467 --> 00:10:08,834
I don't know, some guy.
Him, that guy.
220
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:11,337
- What are those?
- Pot brownies.
221
00:10:11,371 --> 00:10:13,705
- What's on them?
- Jell-o shots.
222
00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:17,209
- Is the music going like-- Wah, wah, wah?
- Yes, yes, yes.
223
00:10:17,244 --> 00:10:20,012
Do you feel like your heart's going
to just fall out through your vagina?
224
00:10:20,047 --> 00:10:22,748
Maybe, I do.
I don't-- Yeah.
225
00:10:22,782 --> 00:10:24,483
Oh, my God.
I want one.
226
00:10:24,518 --> 00:10:26,953
You're gonna be fine.
I'm gonna be here with you.
227
00:10:26,987 --> 00:10:30,324
- I'm not leaving you.
- Thank you, I really appreciate this.
228
00:10:30,358 --> 00:10:32,926
- Hannah, Hannah, I've been
looking for you. - Hi! Hi!
229
00:10:32,961 --> 00:10:34,795
You did your makeup
like I told you to.
230
00:10:34,830 --> 00:10:36,564
- I love you.
- I love you.
231
00:10:36,598 --> 00:10:38,699
Oh, my God, Marnie's
stuck to this pole.
232
00:10:39,701 --> 00:10:41,001
Why are you stuck to a pole?
233
00:10:41,036 --> 00:10:42,736
I can't move.
I'm very scared.
234
00:10:42,770 --> 00:10:45,806
Oh, my God!
235
00:10:45,841 --> 00:10:48,843
Scissor Sisters!
236
00:10:48,877 --> 00:10:51,312
- No, I can't. She's stuck to the pole.
- She's stuck to a pole?
237
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,748
Will you be okay
for five minutes?
238
00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:55,717
Please, don't leave.
I don't feel comfortable.
239
00:10:55,751 --> 00:10:57,986
- You're fine.
- You don't know that.
240
00:10:58,021 --> 00:11:01,090
- I just want to dance for five minutes.
- Charlie, Charlie.
241
00:11:01,124 --> 00:11:03,459
Can you dance later?
242
00:11:03,493 --> 00:11:06,796
Watch this girl while I go
fuck my girlfriend.
243
00:11:06,830 --> 00:11:09,031
- I'm not okay.
- Marnie, Charlie.
244
00:11:09,066 --> 00:11:10,566
Charlie, just watch her.
245
00:11:13,904 --> 00:11:16,906
- Hi. Hi.
- Charl-- Hi.
246
00:11:18,809 --> 00:11:20,743
- You all right?
- I'm scared.
247
00:11:20,777 --> 00:11:24,045
- Huh?
- I ate something, and I'm scared now.
248
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,314
Oh, do you want something?
You want me to get you water or food?
249
00:11:26,349 --> 00:11:29,451
- I don't think there's food, but I can
get you some. - Can you give me a hug?
250
00:11:29,485 --> 00:11:31,987
A hug? Like a hug?
251
00:11:32,021 --> 00:11:33,654
Uh, yeah, yeah.
252
00:11:33,689 --> 00:11:35,656
- Up top? Like this?
- Yeah.
253
00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:39,627
- How's that?
- That feels better.
254
00:11:43,064 --> 00:11:44,832
Thank you.
255
00:11:44,866 --> 00:11:48,635
Hey, if you're feeling
better in like an hour,
256
00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:51,371
my band is playing right
next door if you wanna come.
257
00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,740
Could you hug me again?
258
00:11:54,642 --> 00:11:56,276
Yeah.
259
00:11:56,311 --> 00:11:57,477
Yeah.
260
00:11:57,512 --> 00:11:59,813
You had these bangs
and that headband.
261
00:11:59,848 --> 00:12:02,516
And I swear to God you
looked exactly like this girl
262
00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:03,951
that I saw in this porn.
263
00:12:03,985 --> 00:12:05,819
It was called
"Sophomore Sluts,"
264
00:12:05,854 --> 00:12:07,488
and I literally
that night went back
265
00:12:07,522 --> 00:12:09,656
just to check it out
'cause I swear it was you.
266
00:12:09,691 --> 00:12:11,925
You watch porn?
267
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,628
Yeah, sometimes.
268
00:12:14,662 --> 00:12:17,097
Why don't you just, like...
269
00:12:17,132 --> 00:12:20,635
Picture us having sex?
270
00:12:22,304 --> 00:12:25,006
- I can't.
- Why not?
271
00:12:25,041 --> 00:12:28,276
Because that makes me sadder.
272
00:12:41,224 --> 00:12:42,825
The files you requested, Rich.
273
00:12:42,859 --> 00:12:46,896
Oh, thanks, hon.
Just plop them on the desk there.
274
00:12:47,832 --> 00:12:49,633
Plop.
275
00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,068
Oh, I'm gonna work
through lunch.
276
00:12:51,102 --> 00:12:52,769
Can I send you out
for a sandwich?
277
00:12:52,803 --> 00:12:54,904
- Yeah, of course you can.
- Thanks.
278
00:12:54,939 --> 00:12:56,873
You can send me anywhere,
anytime. It's my job.
279
00:12:56,907 --> 00:12:58,575
Great, so for a sandwich.
280
00:12:58,609 --> 00:13:01,844
Turkey, rye, Russian dressing.
281
00:13:01,879 --> 00:13:04,246
No tomato, though.
I don't--
282
00:13:04,281 --> 00:13:06,182
Be honest with me, Rich.
283
00:13:06,216 --> 00:13:09,085
Okay, drop the sandwich stuff.
284
00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:10,653
I know you want to fuck me.
285
00:13:12,289 --> 00:13:15,091
I've been able to tell since
I first started working here.
286
00:13:15,126 --> 00:13:18,829
And at first
it was repulsive to me,
287
00:13:18,863 --> 00:13:21,199
but now I'm game.
288
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,302
So I think we should
just do this
289
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,704
before I change my mind.
290
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,977
I'm a married man, Hannah.
291
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,578
I've got a boyfriend.
292
00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:34,614
You know what? Adults try things.
That's what I've learned.
293
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,817
We work together.
294
00:13:36,851 --> 00:13:39,786
This is an inappropriate way
to talk to your employer.
295
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,655
Rich, you don't
need to fight it.
296
00:13:41,689 --> 00:13:43,390
I'm not, like,
trying to frame you.
297
00:13:43,424 --> 00:13:47,561
I am letting you know that it is
okay for you to act on this fantasy
298
00:13:47,595 --> 00:13:49,963
because I am gross...
299
00:13:49,998 --> 00:13:52,433
And so are you.
300
00:14:01,711 --> 00:14:04,046
- I'm sorry.
- What?
301
00:14:07,217 --> 00:14:09,886
- What is funny?
- Nothing, nothing.
302
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,656
I'm, like, making your fantasies come true.
Why are you laughing?
303
00:14:12,723 --> 00:14:15,325
No, no, it's just--
I mean, what's going on
304
00:14:15,359 --> 00:14:17,260
with, you know, Hannah.
305
00:14:17,294 --> 00:14:19,628
What's going on is that you kept
acting like you wanted to fuck me,
306
00:14:19,663 --> 00:14:21,030
so I said you could fuck me.
307
00:14:21,064 --> 00:14:22,597
No, no, not at all.
No, I never--
308
00:14:22,632 --> 00:14:24,399
I never-- No, no.
Please--
309
00:14:24,433 --> 00:14:26,267
Hannah?
310
00:14:26,302 --> 00:14:29,904
Hannah, wait, are you on drugs?
311
00:14:29,938 --> 00:14:31,906
I could sue you, you know.
312
00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:35,775
- Excuse me?
- I could sue you.
313
00:14:35,810 --> 00:14:37,544
Chastity, Lesley, me--
314
00:14:37,578 --> 00:14:39,379
Whole office, class action,
315
00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:40,914
we go Erin Brockovich
on your ass
316
00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:44,283
in a way you would distinctly disenjoy.
We sue you.
317
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,486
Hannah, you barely
have the wherewithal
318
00:14:47,521 --> 00:14:50,690
to get to work at 10:00 AM,
let alone sue somebody.
319
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:52,758
There's no suing app
on your iPhone.
320
00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:54,760
Insult me, that's fine.
321
00:14:54,795 --> 00:14:57,096
I'm quitting this job,
and it's for sexual reasons.
322
00:14:57,131 --> 00:14:59,298
So why don't you write me
a check for 1,000 bucks...
323
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:03,102
- And I drop the lawsuit.
- Jesus.
324
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,770
I'm sorry.
No, Hannah.
325
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,806
- Please.
- Please what?
326
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,509
Listen, please don't quit.
327
00:15:09,543 --> 00:15:11,411
We can get past this.
328
00:15:11,445 --> 00:15:13,780
- You want to get past this?
- Yeah.
329
00:15:13,814 --> 00:15:17,984
I just tried to fuck you,
sue you, and extort you.
330
00:15:18,019 --> 00:15:20,454
I'm fucking nuts.
Why would you want me in your office?
331
00:15:20,488 --> 00:15:22,089
Because you're great.
332
00:15:22,123 --> 00:15:25,626
You don't know how to do anything,
but you have so much potential.
333
00:15:26,995 --> 00:15:29,129
Think about it.
334
00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:35,402
I'm so glad you're not
my dad or my boyfriend.
335
00:15:36,805 --> 00:15:38,105
Hannah.
336
00:15:38,139 --> 00:15:40,807
And someday, I'm going to
write an essay about you,
337
00:15:40,842 --> 00:15:44,077
and I am not gonna
change your name.
338
00:15:44,112 --> 00:15:46,079
And then you can sue me.
339
00:15:48,449 --> 00:15:51,084
Are we really breaking up?
340
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,385
Why?
341
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:55,521
- You don't love me.
- I really love you.
342
00:15:55,556 --> 00:15:57,623
You're not in love with me.
343
00:15:57,658 --> 00:15:59,692
Well, are you in love with me?
344
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,794
- I don't care.
- How can you not care?
345
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,762
Because I decided on you.
Don't you get that?
346
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,230
I decided on you.
347
00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:07,065
I don't want to go
fucking other girls
348
00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:10,035
and then walk around feeling
thrilled and then...
349
00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:12,103
Sad or empty or whatever.
350
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,404
I like the smell of your hair
351
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:14,906
and I like the sound
of your voice
352
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:17,075
- and I fucking decided on you.
- Charlie!
353
00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:19,177
Ah!
Relax, I'm fine.
354
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:22,447
Please, don't break up with me.
355
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:25,016
Please don't, just don't.
356
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:27,319
I'll do whatever
you ask, honestly.
357
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:28,887
I will...
358
00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:30,889
I'll kick Hannah out.
359
00:16:30,924 --> 00:16:32,591
I can even move in here.
360
00:16:32,626 --> 00:16:35,395
I'll answer your sister's IMs.
361
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:37,831
Do you want blowjobs?
362
00:16:37,865 --> 00:16:39,265
Is that what you want?
363
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:40,767
I'll give you blowjobs, okay?
364
00:16:40,802 --> 00:16:42,402
I will-- I don't care.
365
00:16:42,437 --> 00:16:46,539
I'll do-- I will do
whatever it takes, just...
366
00:16:46,574 --> 00:16:49,142
Do not break up with me.
367
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,311
Please.
368
00:16:52,213 --> 00:16:55,681
Hmm.
369
00:16:55,716 --> 00:16:58,584
You rung me up
just to say hello.
370
00:16:58,619 --> 00:17:00,220
How did you know
I was in New York?
371
00:17:00,254 --> 00:17:02,589
Are you stalking me?
372
00:17:02,623 --> 00:17:05,592
We are not going to have sex.
373
00:17:05,626 --> 00:17:09,262
Oh, no. We are not
going to have sex.
374
00:17:09,297 --> 00:17:11,665
Okay, I'm really serious.
I've been with Gillian
375
00:17:11,699 --> 00:17:14,300
for six months now, I'm
gonna move in next month.
376
00:17:14,335 --> 00:17:16,369
So your whole sexy
geisha outfit--
377
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:19,037
You are?
That's a crazy thing to do.
378
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,538
Well, you know,
she's 38 years old.
379
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,373
She's actually ready for a
mature relationship, unlike--
380
00:17:22,407 --> 00:17:24,141
She's 38?
381
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:27,344
She's old, like a mom.
382
00:17:28,913 --> 00:17:32,182
- She's a publisher.
- Of what? Books?
383
00:17:32,216 --> 00:17:34,451
Yeah, books.
384
00:17:34,485 --> 00:17:37,053
She has a small press.
385
00:17:37,088 --> 00:17:39,956
Have you ever looked into that?
386
00:17:39,991 --> 00:17:42,492
'Cause she could just be, like,
387
00:17:42,527 --> 00:17:44,494
running off copies at Kinko's
388
00:17:44,529 --> 00:17:46,930
and saying that
she has a press.
389
00:17:46,964 --> 00:17:48,732
And who's to say
she actually has one?
390
00:17:48,766 --> 00:17:51,601
- Are you jealous?
- No, I'm not jealous.
391
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:54,704
- Hmm.
- But what does strike me as odd
392
00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:57,607
is that you're so keen on Gillian
and yet you're calling me.
393
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,475
Because I wanted to see you.
Because I wanted to see
394
00:17:59,509 --> 00:18:01,177
what was happening
with my old friend.
395
00:18:01,211 --> 00:18:04,646
A girl that I used to date in
a very tumultuous relationship
396
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,515
in which one's Vespa gets
destroyed for no reason, gets...
397
00:18:07,550 --> 00:18:08,983
- I did you a favor.
- ...Rolled off a dock.
398
00:18:10,853 --> 00:18:12,854
See, you're laughing.
I don't think it's funny. But that's fine.
399
00:18:12,888 --> 00:18:15,223
I just want you to know that I--
I think you're special.
400
00:18:15,257 --> 00:18:16,691
I think you're great.
I think you're beautiful.
401
00:18:16,726 --> 00:18:18,894
You have a beautiful mind,
a beautiful...
402
00:18:20,397 --> 00:18:21,697
I just--
403
00:18:21,732 --> 00:18:24,801
- you love Gillian.
- Yes, yes, yes.
404
00:18:24,835 --> 00:18:26,570
- Gillian. Hard G.
- Gillian.
405
00:18:26,604 --> 00:18:28,472
- I'm so sorry. Gillian.
- I'm really happy
406
00:18:28,506 --> 00:18:31,042
- with my girlfriend.
- Really?
407
00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:32,744
- Really.
- Really?
408
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,813
Really.
409
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:37,182
Really?
410
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,828
Jessa, Jessa.
411
00:19:34,141 --> 00:19:36,308
What about Gillian?
412
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,055
Oh, my God.
413
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:52,591
Oh, my God, Shoshanna.
414
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:55,127
You're a batshit little perv.
415
00:19:55,162 --> 00:19:59,165
I knew you were crazy,
but fucking perv?!
416
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,999
Oh, my God!
417
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:04,069
Okay, so just so you
know what you just saw,
418
00:20:04,104 --> 00:20:07,973
that was me showing that
I cannot be smoted.
419
00:20:08,008 --> 00:20:10,576
I am unsmotable.
420
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:14,246
You should probably
write that down by the way.
421
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:27,359
Fucker.
422
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:32,264
- Yo, kid.
- Hey, grown-up.
423
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:35,000
You need to tell me next time
you're rolling through.
424
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:36,301
I'm kind of in
the middle of something.
425
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:39,671
I wanted to tell you that
I actually just quit my job.
426
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,073
Didn't you already
quit your job?
427
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,875
This is a different job
than the other one I quit,
428
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,844
and I did it because there was
a sex scandal in my office.
429
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:50,114
Sometimes you say shit
that sounds made up.
430
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,782
I never make things up.
431
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:54,418
Yeah, well, then everything
bad happens to you.
432
00:20:54,452 --> 00:20:56,720
Might need to face up to the fact
that you're just not meant for a job
433
00:20:56,754 --> 00:20:58,688
in the traditional sense.
434
00:20:58,722 --> 00:21:00,891
He has other plans
for you and I.
435
00:21:03,060 --> 00:21:05,562
Like what kinda plans?
436
00:21:05,596 --> 00:21:08,531
What are you doing?
437
00:21:08,566 --> 00:21:11,367
What does
it look like I'm doing?
438
00:21:11,401 --> 00:21:14,470
- You shouldn't do that.
- Why?
439
00:21:14,505 --> 00:21:16,606
Because we like...
440
00:21:16,641 --> 00:21:19,844
Said we wouldn't...
or whatever.
441
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:24,115
- We did?
- Yeah, you did.
442
00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:28,086
- When did I say that?
- Yesterday.
443
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:30,556
You told me everything you
want out of a relationship
444
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,859
and all the ways
I was fucking you up.
445
00:21:32,893 --> 00:21:34,794
You told me to lose your
number till Christmas.
446
00:21:34,828 --> 00:21:37,764
- Yeah, but then you kissed me.
- You looked sad.
447
00:21:37,798 --> 00:21:40,833
- Then we had sex.
- Because we were kissing.
448
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,136
Okay, I don't know
what you're saying.
449
00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:46,104
These things have
an expiration date, okay?
450
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:48,606
Six months or until
someone stops having fun.
451
00:21:49,908 --> 00:21:51,375
- But I'm having fun.
- No, you're not.
452
00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:54,845
You're like all secretly sad.
453
00:21:54,879 --> 00:21:57,047
And that's not cool for you
and it's not fun for me.
454
00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:59,450
It's a bummer, but people
do outgrow each other.
455
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,653
Yeah, but I don't want
to outgrow each other.
456
00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:04,122
Well, that's on you, kid.
'Cause I'm done growing.
457
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,995
I'm gonna use your bathroom.
458
00:22:09,029 --> 00:22:11,364
Okay.
459
00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:15,969
Also, I almost had sex
with someone else today.
460
00:22:17,638 --> 00:22:19,338
Okay.
What? Who?
461
00:22:19,373 --> 00:22:21,908
My boss.
My former boss.
462
00:22:21,942 --> 00:22:23,643
That's the sex scandal
you were talking about?
463
00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:25,612
No, because I didn't do it.
464
00:22:25,646 --> 00:22:27,413
But I maybe think I would have.
465
00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:30,315
Is he hot?
466
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:32,651
No, he's not hot.
He's like 100 years old.
467
00:22:32,686 --> 00:22:35,721
- Why then?
- For the story.
468
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:39,491
I don't know,
just to be an asshole.
469
00:23:14,591 --> 00:23:17,994
You can't do--
Hey, you can't do this to me anymore.
470
00:23:18,029 --> 00:23:19,963
I won't.
471
00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:25,269
And-- and be nicer
to my friends.
472
00:23:25,303 --> 00:23:26,704
Okay, but just not Ray.
473
00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:28,940
- Okay?
- Okay.
474
00:23:28,974 --> 00:23:30,542
Oh, fuck.
475
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:33,312
- And Marnie.
- Yeah?
476
00:23:33,346 --> 00:23:36,281
Act like my life is real.
You know?
477
00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:38,717
'Cause my life is real.
478
00:23:38,752 --> 00:23:40,285
- Okay.
- Okay.
479
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,720
- I hear you.
- Okay.
480
00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:44,156
Okay.
481
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:47,392
Down she goes.
482
00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:52,030
Okay, I'm going.
483
00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:57,469
Adam, I'm leaving.
484
00:23:59,138 --> 00:24:01,741
Adam?
485
00:24:03,644 --> 00:24:06,512
Okay, I'm still here.
486
00:24:08,048 --> 00:24:09,683
So I don't know if you thought
that I was gone already,
487
00:24:09,717 --> 00:24:11,952
- but I am still here.
- No, I know.
488
00:24:11,986 --> 00:24:15,089
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'll go now.
489
00:24:15,123 --> 00:24:16,890
And I'll see you
when I see you.
490
00:24:16,925 --> 00:24:20,660
Do you wanna stay
until I finish?
491
00:24:20,694 --> 00:24:24,063
You know, for the story.
492
00:24:27,100 --> 00:24:29,034
Okay.
493
00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:33,571
What should I do?
494
00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:35,840
And don't abandon me, okay?
495
00:24:35,874 --> 00:24:37,641
You know, don't...
496
00:24:37,676 --> 00:24:40,478
- Make me feel safe and then abandon me.
- Okay.
497
00:24:40,512 --> 00:24:42,680
That's my dad. I can't take
any more of that in my life.
498
00:24:42,715 --> 00:24:44,349
- Okay, I really can't.
- Okay.
499
00:24:44,383 --> 00:24:45,984
Okay, come here.
Kiss me, kiss me.
500
00:24:48,754 --> 00:24:50,555
- Keep your face close to mine.
- What?
501
00:24:50,590 --> 00:24:52,391
- Keep your face close to mine.
- Okay.
502
00:24:52,425 --> 00:24:54,460
Okay. Okay. Okay.
503
00:24:54,494 --> 00:24:56,695
Stay, stay.
504
00:24:56,729 --> 00:24:58,664
- Stay.
- Okay.
505
00:24:58,698 --> 00:25:01,400
Okay, stay.
506
00:25:01,434 --> 00:25:04,936
I love you.
I love you.
507
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:09,074
- I can't--
- Oh!
508
00:25:09,108 --> 00:25:12,043
Oh, shh.
It's okay.
509
00:25:12,078 --> 00:25:13,745
- Ow!
- It's okay.
510
00:25:13,779 --> 00:25:16,046
- Ow.
- It's okay, I'm right here.
511
00:25:16,081 --> 00:25:18,649
I'm right here.
I'm right here.
512
00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:22,052
Okay, I'm right here.
513
00:25:22,087 --> 00:25:24,154
I'm right here.
514
00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:26,323
I want to break up.
515
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,469
Does it turn you on?
516
00:25:38,503 --> 00:25:40,604
To watch me touch my own cock?
517
00:25:41,506 --> 00:25:42,940
Kind of, yeah.
518
00:25:42,975 --> 00:25:46,144
Or does it disgust you?
Do you think I'm really bad?
519
00:25:46,178 --> 00:25:48,547
No, I don't think you're bad.
I mean, everyone does it--
520
00:25:48,581 --> 00:25:50,983
Do you think I'm pathetic
and disgusting?
521
00:25:52,852 --> 00:25:54,586
Yes, actually.
522
00:25:54,621 --> 00:25:56,822
You do, why?
Why do you think that?
523
00:25:56,856 --> 00:25:59,191
Because there's a woman standing
less than 10 feet from you
524
00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:01,259
and all you can do is play
with your own cock.
525
00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:03,694
- Is it bad?
- It's really bad.
526
00:26:03,729 --> 00:26:05,162
It's pathetic and bad
527
00:26:05,197 --> 00:26:07,664
and disgusting
and weird and lazy.
528
00:26:07,699 --> 00:26:09,466
Plus if you have a big cock,
you should use it on a woman.
529
00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:11,601
- It's not that big.
- It's not?
530
00:26:11,635 --> 00:26:13,870
No, maybe that's why you
don't want me to touch it.
531
00:26:13,904 --> 00:26:16,005
Maybe you're embarrassed
because it's not that big.
532
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,074
Maybe.
533
00:26:18,108 --> 00:26:19,642
You like this?
Having me watch you?
534
00:26:19,676 --> 00:26:21,410
I do. I like it.
535
00:26:21,445 --> 00:26:23,246
What do you like about it?
536
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,248
No, put your shit down.
537
00:26:25,282 --> 00:26:28,751
Put it down.
That's not what this is.
538
00:26:33,891 --> 00:26:35,725
I want cab money.
539
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,860
What?
540
00:26:37,895 --> 00:26:41,030
You heard me, you filthy boy.
I want cab money.
541
00:26:41,065 --> 00:26:44,133
- How much?
- 20.
542
00:26:44,167 --> 00:26:46,568
30, because I also
want pizza and gum.
543
00:26:46,603 --> 00:26:49,905
Well, I keep my money
in my drawer.
544
00:26:49,939 --> 00:26:52,040
Okay.
545
00:26:52,074 --> 00:26:54,476
Keep my fucking eye on you.
546
00:26:57,046 --> 00:26:59,615
- You only have hundreds.
- Fuck!
547
00:26:59,649 --> 00:27:02,585
- And I'm taking one.
- You are?
548
00:27:02,619 --> 00:27:04,153
Yeah, I am.
549
00:27:04,187 --> 00:27:05,488
You're lucky I don't
take all your money
550
00:27:05,522 --> 00:27:07,890
considering you made me
watch this all afternoon.
551
00:27:07,925 --> 00:27:09,992
- I'm sorry.
- Are you sorry?
552
00:27:10,027 --> 00:27:13,263
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
- How sorry?
553
00:27:13,297 --> 00:27:16,066
- I'm really sorry.
- Why don't you say that to me again?
554
00:27:16,101 --> 00:27:19,169
- I'm sorry! - Why don't you
say that to me again like you mean it?
555
00:27:19,204 --> 00:27:21,771
- I'm sorry!
- You like saying that. Say it again.
556
00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:23,673
- I'm sorry.
- Say it one more time!
557
00:27:23,707 --> 00:27:27,143
- I'm sorry!
- That's fine. Just hurry up.
558
00:27:28,245 --> 00:27:29,478
Do you want to step
on my balls?
559
00:27:29,512 --> 00:27:31,179
Are you fucking kidding me?!
560
00:27:35,184 --> 00:27:37,619
Fucker.
561
00:27:47,765 --> 00:27:50,267
Shake my hand.
562
00:27:53,705 --> 00:27:57,721
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
563
00:27:58,210 --> 00:28:02,879
♪ I don't love anyone ♪
564
00:28:02,914 --> 00:28:05,782
♪ you're not listening ♪
565
00:28:07,485 --> 00:28:10,954
♪ you're playing
with something ♪
566
00:28:12,156 --> 00:28:16,125
♪ you're playing
with yourself ♪
567
00:28:17,060 --> 00:28:19,829
♪ I don't love anyone ♪
568
00:28:21,432 --> 00:28:25,836
♪ you're not listening
even now ♪
569
00:28:25,871 --> 00:28:29,306
♪ you're playing
with something ♪
570
00:28:30,675 --> 00:28:32,843
♪ you're playing
with someone else ♪