﻿1
00:00:01,081 --> 00:00:04,167
A new day has dawn
at Greendale Community College.

2
00:00:04,168 --> 00:00:05,971
Some said we'd never
bounce back

3
00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:08,686
after the unfortunate events
of the Star-Burns wake riot

4
00:00:08,687 --> 00:00:10,988
instigated
by the Greendale Seven.

5
00:00:10,989 --> 00:00:12,557
But today the guilty parties
have been expelled,

6
00:00:12,558 --> 00:00:14,475
enrollment is up,

7
00:00:14,476 --> 00:00:16,894
and tuition is more affordable
than ever.

8
00:00:16,895 --> 00:00:19,046
And the architect
of this modern-day miracle?

9
00:00:19,047 --> 00:00:21,599
Security chief
Benjamin Franklin Chang,

10
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,851
a man who has brought security,
harmony,

11
00:00:23,852 --> 00:00:26,154
and success to what
is fast becoming

12
00:00:26,155 --> 00:00:27,855
the area's
premier community college.

13
00:00:27,856 --> 00:00:31,993
Greendale's never been better.
Thanks, Chang.

14
00:00:31,994 --> 00:00:34,078
You see?
It's not the real Dean.

15
00:00:34,079 --> 00:00:35,196
Of course.

16
00:00:35,197 --> 00:00:37,215
The head of security
at Greendale Community College

17
00:00:37,216 --> 00:00:38,449
has kidnapped the Dean

18
00:00:38,450 --> 00:00:41,902
and replaced him
with a deanel-ganger.

19
00:00:41,903 --> 00:00:44,205
Well, when you say it
that way, it sounds ridiculous.

20
00:00:44,206 --> 00:00:46,207
Yeah, the word we used
was doppel-deaner.

21
00:00:46,208 --> 00:00:48,576
Look, I hate cops.

22
00:00:49,911 --> 00:00:51,912
You have to do something.

23
00:00:51,913 --> 00:00:53,097
Isn't this a felony?

24
00:00:53,098 --> 00:00:55,717
Chang is holding a man
against his will.

25
00:00:55,718 --> 00:00:57,969
The real Dean
never would have expelled us.

26
00:00:57,970 --> 00:00:59,187
He loved us.

27
00:00:59,188 --> 00:01:01,806
Unfortunately,
love is not admissible evidence.

28
00:01:01,807 --> 00:01:04,091
Oh...

29
00:01:04,092 --> 00:01:09,030
♪ Love is not
admissible evidence ♪

30
00:01:09,031 --> 00:01:10,782
I'm working on a cop opera.

31
00:01:10,783 --> 00:01:12,900
<i>Cop-ra!</i>

32
00:01:12,901 --> 00:01:14,101
<i>Police-ical!</i>

33
00:01:14,102 --> 00:01:16,404
Fine.
We'll get some proof.

34
00:01:16,405 --> 00:01:17,455
No, you won't.

35
00:01:17,456 --> 00:01:18,740
If I catch any of you
within 50 feet

36
00:01:18,741 --> 00:01:20,825
of Greendale,
I'll throw you all in jail.

37
00:01:22,578 --> 00:01:25,830
Thanks for the hot water.

38
00:01:25,831 --> 00:01:28,115
<i>Wait, cop-ra!</i>

39
00:01:28,116 --> 00:01:32,003
♪ Give me some rope
time in a dream ♪

40
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:34,972
♪ give me the hope
to run out of steam ♪

41
00:01:34,973 --> 00:01:38,126
♪ somebody said
it can be here ♪

44
00:01:47,686 --> 00:01:51,823
♪ one by one,
they all just fade away ♪

45
00:01:51,824 --> 00:01:54,776
Sync and corrections by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com

46
00:02:00,315 --> 00:02:03,317
- I'm watching you.
- Move along.

47
00:02:03,318 --> 00:02:05,002
How's the planning going

48
00:02:05,003 --> 00:02:07,755
for my birthday
Chang-stravaganza?

49
00:02:07,756 --> 00:02:09,373
The magician's booked,
and the invitations went out

50
00:02:09,374 --> 00:02:11,125
to the school board
and the budweiser frogs.

51
00:02:11,126 --> 00:02:12,176
Perfect.

52
00:02:12,177 --> 00:02:14,212
Yeah, um, one little snag.

53
00:02:14,213 --> 00:02:16,113
See, we're kind of running out
of money,

54
00:02:16,114 --> 00:02:17,548
what with all the students
dropping out

55
00:02:17,549 --> 00:02:19,166
and the cost of your throne.

56
00:02:19,167 --> 00:02:20,818
It's a prescription throne.

57
00:02:20,819 --> 00:02:22,537
I have back mumps.

58
00:02:22,538 --> 00:02:23,805
Don't look it up.
It's rare.

59
00:02:23,806 --> 00:02:25,223
But you might be right.

60
00:02:25,224 --> 00:02:28,309
We should free up some revenue
for entertainment at the party.

61
00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:30,611
Where's my deanel-Chang-er?

62
00:02:33,649 --> 00:02:35,850
Fire the custodial staff.

63
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:38,986
Okay. Cool.

64
00:02:38,987 --> 00:02:40,187
Do you think I could get out
a little early?

65
00:02:40,188 --> 00:02:41,856
My wife's getting
her braces off, and I...

66
00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:45,159
- No.
- Okay.

67
00:02:50,249 --> 00:02:52,700
I love how binoculars
make far away things

68
00:02:52,701 --> 00:02:53,885
seem like they're close.

69
00:02:53,886 --> 00:02:56,721
- They're like...
- Telephones for your eyes.

70
00:02:56,722 --> 00:02:58,389
Snagged one of those flyers.

71
00:02:58,390 --> 00:03:00,374
First Chang kidnaps the Dean,

72
00:03:00,375 --> 00:03:02,510
and now he throws himself
a birthday party?

73
00:03:02,511 --> 00:03:05,062
It's just like Stalin
back in Russia times.

74
00:03:05,063 --> 00:03:06,647
Dance-off?
Sundae bar?

75
00:03:06,648 --> 00:03:08,649
One of those Ed Hardy
street magicians?

76
00:03:10,352 --> 00:03:14,105
What kind of monster would...
Photo booth with props!

77
00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:15,940
Chang's got to be holding
the Dean on campus,

78
00:03:15,941 --> 00:03:17,859
but there's no way we're
gonna get past those guards.

79
00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:21,279
We need somebody on the inside.

80
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,297
I may know a guy.

81
00:03:23,298 --> 00:03:25,566
And the air-conditioning
repair annex won't admit

82
00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:27,618
to any knowledge
of what's going on.

83
00:03:27,619 --> 00:03:31,672
But the fact is,
wherever there is air,

84
00:03:31,673 --> 00:03:32,957
we have eyes.

85
00:03:32,958 --> 00:03:34,258
Gross.

86
00:03:34,259 --> 00:03:35,543
Suffice it to say,

87
00:03:35,544 --> 00:03:37,895
if Chang were holding
your Dean captive,

88
00:03:37,896 --> 00:03:40,097
it'd be pretty foolish
to hold him on campus.

89
00:03:40,098 --> 00:03:43,417
It'd be even more foolish to
hold him in a central air room

90
00:03:43,418 --> 00:03:46,304
in the cafeteria,
which we monitor.

91
00:03:46,305 --> 00:03:51,809
Oh, no, Jeffrey.
Looks like PB and J again.

92
00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:54,261
You win the bet.

93
00:03:54,262 --> 00:03:55,313
So he's
in the cafeteria building?

94
00:03:55,314 --> 00:03:57,481
Suppose he is.
In the basement.

95
00:03:57,482 --> 00:03:59,767
And suppose you wanted
to get to him.

96
00:03:59,768 --> 00:04:01,619
Suppose you actually managed
to make it

97
00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,120
past the guards at the front,

98
00:04:03,121 --> 00:04:04,939
there's 50 more inside,
armed to the teeth

99
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,658
with stun batons
and misplaced sexual aggression.

100
00:04:07,659 --> 00:04:09,160
Let's say you happen
to get past them

101
00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:10,661
and then you get to meet
Chang's number one,

102
00:04:10,662 --> 00:04:12,580
Joshua,

103
00:04:12,581 --> 00:04:16,116
a 4'10", 105-pound bucket
of piss and zit cream.

104
00:04:16,117 --> 00:04:18,970
I cannot express to you how much
I hate this kid.

105
00:04:18,971 --> 00:04:22,122
Now, beyond that dog sneeze
in a pair of reeboks,

106
00:04:22,123 --> 00:04:23,391
you're gonna find
a state-of-the-art

107
00:04:23,392 --> 00:04:24,809
keypad on the basement door.

108
00:04:24,810 --> 00:04:27,812
And just for extra fun,
they change the code every day,

109
00:04:27,813 --> 00:04:30,648
and the only copy is locked up
in Chang's office.

110
00:04:30,649 --> 00:04:33,150
Now, just for a lark,
let's pretend

111
00:04:33,151 --> 00:04:34,852
you actually make it down
to the basement door.

112
00:04:34,853 --> 00:04:36,470
Who is there to greet you?

113
00:04:36,471 --> 00:04:38,806
Another guard and another lock

114
00:04:38,807 --> 00:04:40,124
to which there is only one key.

115
00:04:40,125 --> 00:04:45,112
And where is that key?

116
00:04:47,783 --> 00:04:49,316
Well where is it?

117
00:04:49,317 --> 00:04:52,119
Oh, sorry,
it's very clear in my head.

118
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,621
Key's around Chang's neck.

119
00:04:53,622 --> 00:04:56,907
The point is, you're not getting
down there without our help.

120
00:04:56,908 --> 00:04:57,925
So help us.

121
00:04:57,926 --> 00:04:59,343
We have no horse in this race,

122
00:04:59,344 --> 00:05:04,966
but... there is
one thing we want.

123
00:05:04,967 --> 00:05:07,551
Not a lot of people
get a second chance.

124
00:05:07,552 --> 00:05:12,339
Just you and probably Obama.

125
00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:16,711
Give it some thought.

126
00:05:16,712 --> 00:05:18,312
Great, so according
to Troy's intel,

127
00:05:18,313 --> 00:05:19,613
Greendale is impregnable.

128
00:05:19,614 --> 00:05:21,816
- So what do we do?
- Only one answer.

129
00:05:21,817 --> 00:05:22,984
Elaborate heist?
Elaborate heist?

130
00:05:22,985 --> 00:05:24,151
We'll need disguises.

131
00:05:24,152 --> 00:05:25,536
I do a great swami.

132
00:05:25,537 --> 00:05:27,071
Of course it works
best with a cobra,

133
00:05:27,072 --> 00:05:29,240
but if you guys cut me
a length of garden hose...

134
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:30,357
Are we all forgetting
that if we get caught

135
00:05:30,358 --> 00:05:31,659
on that campus, we go to jail?

136
00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:33,861
Do you know how long someone
as sarcastic as I am

137
00:05:33,862 --> 00:05:35,246
would last in prison?

138
00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:37,031
Such a long time.

139
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:39,667
There's got to be
a practical way to do this.

140
00:05:39,668 --> 00:05:40,885
There is another way in.

141
00:05:40,886 --> 00:05:44,055
If I enroll in the AC school,
they'll help us.

142
00:05:44,056 --> 00:05:46,157
We could walk in and out.

143
00:05:46,158 --> 00:05:47,408
It'll mean I'll have
to move out of here

144
00:05:47,409 --> 00:05:48,826
and into AC school housing,

145
00:05:48,827 --> 00:05:50,928
and I won't be able to hang out
with you guys anymore,

146
00:05:50,929 --> 00:05:53,397
or have a relationship,
or use the word

147
00:05:53,398 --> 00:05:54,732
"sensational" for some reason.

148
00:05:54,733 --> 00:05:57,818
Troy, we are not losing you
to save the Dean

149
00:05:57,819 --> 00:06:02,523
or Greendale...
Or anything, ever.

150
00:06:03,942 --> 00:06:07,328
Don't be so dramatic, Troy.
The answer is simple.

151
00:06:07,329 --> 00:06:09,563
We just have to plan
an elaborate heist.

152
00:06:09,564 --> 00:06:11,398
- Yes.
- Great, I'll get my turban.

153
00:06:11,399 --> 00:06:14,668
Everyone except Pierce has
to plan an elaborate heist.

154
00:06:23,729 --> 00:06:26,599
Happy birthday, Ben.
On behalf of the school board.

155
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:30,786
Shower organizer?
Are you guys psychic?

156
00:06:30,787 --> 00:06:33,439
Well you deserve it.
You have worked wonders here.

157
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,074
Oh, you boners.

158
00:06:35,075 --> 00:06:36,492
Now go party your butts off.

159
00:06:36,493 --> 00:06:38,861
Your butt could use it, Richie.

160
00:06:46,086 --> 00:06:47,420
Listen up, men.

161
00:06:47,421 --> 00:06:49,472
Keep an extra deep lookout
for the Greendale Seven.

162
00:06:49,473 --> 00:06:51,891
I won't have them ruining
my 25th birthday.

163
00:06:51,892 --> 00:06:52,925
Yes, sir.

164
00:06:52,926 --> 00:06:56,229
By the way,
your cake just arrived.

165
00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:57,980
Shirley will enter first

166
00:06:57,981 --> 00:06:59,982
through the loading dock
disguised as the chef.

167
00:06:59,983 --> 00:07:02,401
From there, she'll head
into the kitchen.

168
00:07:02,402 --> 00:07:04,520
You had time to build
a tiny working water fountain,

169
00:07:04,521 --> 00:07:05,571
and I'm a pinecone?

170
00:07:05,572 --> 00:07:10,276
♪ Chang eats the sun
and drinks the skies ♪

171
00:07:10,277 --> 00:07:15,481
♪ and they both go
with him when he dies ♪

172
00:07:15,482 --> 00:07:19,452
Once in,
she'll unload the goods.

173
00:07:23,507 --> 00:07:26,425
This girl in Chicago
won't stop facebooking me.

174
00:07:26,426 --> 00:07:29,929
Looks like j-swag's
going deep dish.

175
00:07:29,930 --> 00:07:31,830
Then it's time for phase two...

176
00:07:31,831 --> 00:07:34,300
Toilet trouble.

177
00:07:34,301 --> 00:07:37,553
Oh, crap!
Someone call a plumber!

178
00:07:37,554 --> 00:07:39,021
Sounds like
you schnooks got a flood

179
00:07:39,022 --> 00:07:40,856
the size of my wife's
attitude problem.

180
00:07:40,857 --> 00:07:42,692
Whoa, you guys aren't
the usual plumbers.

181
00:07:42,693 --> 00:07:45,227
Oh, Mr. Brand Loyalty
over here.

182
00:07:45,228 --> 00:07:46,479
Okay, okay,
why don't you two slap-arounds

183
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:47,763
give me your names
for the report

184
00:07:47,764 --> 00:07:49,782
in case Chang wants to know
why his birthday party

185
00:07:49,783 --> 00:07:51,200
<i>turned into the frickin'
Poseidon adventure.</i>

186
00:07:51,201 --> 00:07:53,986
Okay, okay.
Follow me then.

187
00:07:53,987 --> 00:07:56,355
Finally.
Oof baboof with you two.

188
00:07:56,356 --> 00:07:57,573
Here's your problem.

189
00:07:57,574 --> 00:07:59,659
You people gotta
start chewin' your food.

190
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:01,627
We may have to tap into
the hydraulic flap valve,

191
00:08:01,628 --> 00:08:03,796
so don't be alarmed if things
get a little noisy.

192
00:08:03,797 --> 00:08:05,881
Like my wife's mouth.

193
00:08:05,882 --> 00:08:08,584
If we can break through this
wall and into Chang's office,

194
00:08:08,585 --> 00:08:10,970
then we'll have access
to the basement door codes.

195
00:08:10,971 --> 00:08:13,372
Meanwhile, I'll take care
of cancelling the magician.

196
00:08:13,373 --> 00:08:16,175
Yeah, sorry, Mr. Nightshade,
gig's canceled.

197
00:08:16,176 --> 00:08:17,876
How's it coming
with the guard?

198
00:08:17,877 --> 00:08:19,044
Boys are pathetic.

199
00:08:19,045 --> 00:08:20,879
Two days of facebooking
with this Joshua kid

200
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,348
and he's eating out
of my hands.

201
00:08:22,349 --> 00:08:24,100
"Got a new flavor of lip balm.

202
00:08:24,101 --> 00:08:26,102
Meet me at Chili's
in ten minutes."

203
00:08:26,103 --> 00:08:27,603
Sheep.

204
00:08:27,604 --> 00:08:29,555
Um, I just want to reiterate
that this should be

205
00:08:29,556 --> 00:08:32,158
the only time you seduce
a child over the internet.

206
00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:33,442
I know.

207
00:08:33,443 --> 00:08:36,245
Chili's? Sick!

208
00:08:36,246 --> 00:08:38,331
Hey, bro, you watch my post?

209
00:08:38,332 --> 00:08:41,867
Yeah, whatever. 'Sup.

210
00:08:41,868 --> 00:08:43,002
I'm in.

211
00:08:43,003 --> 00:08:44,370
Cue the abra cadabra.

212
00:08:44,371 --> 00:08:46,038
Is that me
in my swami disguise?

213
00:08:46,039 --> 00:08:49,241
No, Pierce, for the last time,
you're in the getaway van

214
00:08:49,242 --> 00:08:51,644
because your swami act
is notoriously horrible.

215
00:08:51,645 --> 00:08:53,746
"A," that is racist.

216
00:08:53,747 --> 00:08:57,383
"B," swamis can't drive...
they're Indians.

217
00:08:57,384 --> 00:08:58,934
Pierce, just do your part.

218
00:08:58,935 --> 00:09:00,720
Leave the entertainment
to Britta and me.

219
00:09:07,944 --> 00:09:10,763
Ricky Nightshade,
the rock and roll magician.

220
00:09:10,764 --> 00:09:13,566
I'm starting.
I need a volunteer.

221
00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:17,870
I'll kill anyone who raises
their hand.

222
00:09:20,073 --> 00:09:24,627
Pick a card and look at it.

223
00:09:24,628 --> 00:09:25,944
Strap him!

224
00:09:37,090 --> 00:09:38,307
I'm in.

225
00:09:47,801 --> 00:09:49,602
Okay,
it was just my head before,

226
00:09:49,603 --> 00:09:51,070
but now I'm really in.

227
00:09:52,439 --> 00:09:55,408
Bingo.

228
00:09:56,827 --> 00:10:01,113
4-1-2-6.

229
00:10:02,866 --> 00:10:07,620
I'm in.
Where's the key?

230
00:10:07,621 --> 00:10:09,338
- I'm in.
- I know.

231
00:10:09,339 --> 00:10:11,290
Well, everybody
else got to say it.

232
00:10:13,427 --> 00:10:15,344
Is this your card?

233
00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:16,829
Huh?

234
00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:19,215
I don't remember.

235
00:10:22,052 --> 00:10:25,187
Nightshade, nightshade!

236
00:10:25,188 --> 00:10:28,140
Greetings, greetings,
baba ghanoush.

237
00:10:28,141 --> 00:10:29,942
Take me to the birthday boy.

238
00:10:29,943 --> 00:10:32,194
Wait a minute.

239
00:10:32,195 --> 00:10:33,345
Pierce?

240
00:10:33,346 --> 00:10:35,364
No, not knowing this Pierce.

241
00:10:35,365 --> 00:10:37,399
I... I am a mystical swami.

242
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,869
I come to boogie down,
I'm boogying down.

243
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:40,870
Hey!

244
00:10:41,872 --> 00:10:43,155
Jeff, we've been made.

245
00:10:43,156 --> 00:10:44,156
Cover me!

246
00:10:44,157 --> 00:10:46,525
Winger!

247
00:10:47,861 --> 00:10:49,027
No!

248
00:10:49,028 --> 00:10:50,162
Everything all right, Ben?

249
00:10:50,163 --> 00:10:52,214
Peachy keen, Avril Lavigne.

250
00:10:52,215 --> 00:10:56,218
Nathan, tell me
you got eyes on the Dean.

251
00:10:56,219 --> 00:10:59,221
Negative, the pixie has left
the toadstool.

252
00:10:59,222 --> 00:11:03,175
No! Where's my monitor?

253
00:11:05,479 --> 00:11:07,263
Gotcha.

254
00:11:07,264 --> 00:11:08,547
Code Chang.

255
00:11:08,548 --> 00:11:11,233
All units converge
on the south library hallway.

256
00:11:11,234 --> 00:11:13,402
The best part of the plan
is that at a certain point,

257
00:11:13,403 --> 00:11:16,221
it's going to look like
the plan is failing.

258
00:11:16,222 --> 00:11:17,690
But that's when
it's going to turn out that

259
00:11:17,691 --> 00:11:22,227
the failing plan
was all part of the plan.

260
00:11:22,228 --> 00:11:26,949
♪ Chang eats the sun
and drinks the sky ♪

261
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:42,932
Hey, Johnny Passerby,
this job's getting bigger

262
00:11:42,933 --> 00:11:44,934
than my wife's credit card bill
at Marshalls.

263
00:11:44,935 --> 00:11:46,435
I mean, they got great stuff,
I know that.

264
00:11:46,436 --> 00:11:48,771
Anyway, I'm going to need
your Dean for approval.

265
00:11:48,772 --> 00:11:51,924
Craig.
Is that "a-i" or "i-a"?

266
00:11:51,925 --> 00:11:53,442
I always forget.

267
00:11:54,811 --> 00:11:57,530
Oof baboof, I spilled
plumber's acid all over yous.

268
00:11:57,531 --> 00:11:58,764
What do I do?
What do I do?

269
00:11:58,765 --> 00:11:59,932
Take off your clothes.

270
00:11:59,933 --> 00:12:01,600
Nathan, tell me you got eyes
on the Dean.

271
00:12:01,601 --> 00:12:04,286
Negative, the pixie has left
the toadstool.

272
00:12:04,287 --> 00:12:09,074
Repeat, the pixie has left
the toadstool.

273
00:12:10,744 --> 00:12:11,744
Jeffrey!

274
00:12:11,745 --> 00:12:13,412
Oh... Hey, Britta.

275
00:12:15,415 --> 00:12:17,216
How the Chang?

276
00:12:17,217 --> 00:12:18,918
I'm contaminated
with plumber's acid,

277
00:12:18,919 --> 00:12:22,922
but it's okay, they're coming
back with a lotion.

278
00:12:35,852 --> 00:12:39,572
Sar-cas-tic claps.

279
00:12:39,573 --> 00:12:41,073
Pretty clever.

280
00:12:41,074 --> 00:12:42,825
A plan that looked
like it failed,

281
00:12:42,826 --> 00:12:44,309
and then turned out to work.

282
00:12:44,310 --> 00:12:46,779
Too bad your real plan
really failed.

283
00:12:48,081 --> 00:12:49,248
What's so funny?

284
00:12:49,249 --> 00:12:50,749
You idiot.

285
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:53,419
The plan was for the plan
to seem like it was failing.

286
00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:54,420
You think you caught us,

287
00:12:54,421 --> 00:12:56,488
but we've already made it out
with the real Dean.

288
00:12:56,489 --> 00:12:58,340
<i>Ocean's eleven, baby.</i>

289
00:12:58,341 --> 00:13:02,160
<i>Pierce, I'm the real Dean.</i>

290
00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:03,929
Getting caught the first time
was part of the plan.

291
00:13:03,930 --> 00:13:06,765
This time is because we suck.

292
00:13:06,766 --> 00:13:09,001
Shirley, where the hell
did you come from?

293
00:13:17,243 --> 00:13:19,611
- You can't hold us here forever.
- I don't need to, Winger.

294
00:13:19,612 --> 00:13:20,996
I just wouldn't want you
to leave before

295
00:13:20,997 --> 00:13:23,081
the big fireworks show.

296
00:13:23,082 --> 00:13:24,282
Fireworks show?

297
00:13:24,283 --> 00:13:26,334
It's a surprise
for the end of the night

298
00:13:26,335 --> 00:13:27,786
planned by the "Dean."

299
00:13:27,787 --> 00:13:29,487
Only, silly Dean,

300
00:13:29,488 --> 00:13:32,791
he stored all the fireworks
in the records room. Aw.

301
00:13:32,792 --> 00:13:34,593
And when the works
"accidentally" go off

302
00:13:34,594 --> 00:13:37,262
when I hit the final note
on my awesome keytar solo,

303
00:13:37,263 --> 00:13:38,663
they'll burn up
the school's records

304
00:13:38,664 --> 00:13:40,382
and all evidence of my misdeeds.

305
00:13:40,383 --> 00:13:43,001
<i>Chang, you're insane.
You're still into keytar?</i>

306
00:13:43,002 --> 00:13:45,020
We're going to tell the board
what you did!

307
00:13:45,021 --> 00:13:46,021
We're going
to tell the board what you...

308
00:13:46,022 --> 00:13:47,188
You think they'll believe

309
00:13:47,189 --> 00:13:48,807
the Greendale Seven
and the worst Dean ever

310
00:13:48,808 --> 00:13:50,675
over the guy who just nailed
an awesome solo?

311
00:13:50,676 --> 00:13:53,812
You're going to burn down
the school and kill everyone!

312
00:13:53,813 --> 00:13:55,697
Fire can't go through doors,
stupid.

313
00:13:55,698 --> 00:13:58,450
It's not a ghost.

314
00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:02,854
I know this is a bit
of a long shot,

315
00:14:02,855 --> 00:14:05,624
but I don't suppose any of you
paid my rent?

316
00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:08,960
Thank you, everyone,
for joining in my celebration.

317
00:14:08,961 --> 00:14:13,031
As many of you know,
I ate my twin sister in utero.

318
00:14:13,032 --> 00:14:16,134
So on my birthday,
I try to remember

319
00:14:16,135 --> 00:14:18,386
I'm a winner.

320
00:14:18,387 --> 00:14:20,555
This one's for you, Connie.

321
00:14:25,645 --> 00:14:28,847
And a-one, a-two,
a Chang, Chang, Chang-four.

322
00:14:34,186 --> 00:14:35,537
We're all going to die.

323
00:14:35,538 --> 00:14:36,538
We have to get out of here.

324
00:14:36,539 --> 00:14:38,974
How?

325
00:14:59,578 --> 00:15:00,912
It's a miracle.

326
00:15:00,913 --> 00:15:01,913
What?

327
00:15:01,914 --> 00:15:02,914
- Yes!
- Let's get out of here!

328
00:15:02,915 --> 00:15:04,082
Come on, come on, come on.

329
00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:06,768
No, Troy, you didn't...

330
00:15:06,769 --> 00:15:10,105
There's no time.
We gotta go.

331
00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:22,951
Six guards, two on scooters.

332
00:15:22,952 --> 00:15:24,085
Chang started his solo.

333
00:15:24,086 --> 00:15:25,453
Knowing him,
that gives us only nine minutes

334
00:15:25,454 --> 00:15:26,454
to get to the records room.

335
00:15:26,455 --> 00:15:27,622
We'll need a distraction.

336
00:15:27,623 --> 00:15:30,909
You heard the lady.
Take your tops off.

337
00:15:30,910 --> 00:15:32,494
I might have something.

338
00:15:32,495 --> 00:15:33,962
To supplement
Greendale's budget,

339
00:15:33,963 --> 00:15:36,331
I've been renting the school out
for raves on the weekend.

340
00:15:36,332 --> 00:15:37,966
They call it "academania."

341
00:15:37,967 --> 00:15:41,136
It's mostly hard house,
some... some dubstep,

342
00:15:41,137 --> 00:15:42,387
- but totally...
- Perfect.

343
00:15:42,388 --> 00:15:43,638
Troy and Abed,
you make a run for it.

344
00:15:43,639 --> 00:15:46,141
Dean,
I think it's time to party.

345
00:15:46,142 --> 00:15:49,460
Hmm.

346
00:15:49,461 --> 00:15:51,463
Hey, what the freak?

347
00:15:51,464 --> 00:15:52,814
What's going on?

348
00:15:52,815 --> 00:15:55,483
No! No! No!

349
00:15:55,484 --> 00:15:57,652
- You weigh nothing!
- I can't see them.

350
00:15:57,653 --> 00:16:02,524
They're too many of them.

351
00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:03,992
- Oof.
- Baboof.

352
00:16:08,497 --> 00:16:09,581
Which wire do I cut?

353
00:16:09,582 --> 00:16:11,199
There's only one.

354
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,818
God, I hope I'm right.

355
00:16:26,515 --> 00:16:28,833
Study group!

356
00:16:30,269 --> 00:16:33,138
You did it!
So we're done, right?

357
00:16:33,139 --> 00:16:35,673
We're done?
Done? Done? Done?

358
00:16:35,674 --> 00:16:36,975
Not done.

359
00:16:36,976 --> 00:16:39,944
You foiled me for the last time.

360
00:16:44,683 --> 00:16:49,187
So, it ends as it began.

361
00:16:49,188 --> 00:16:50,655
It didn't begin this way.

362
00:16:50,656 --> 00:16:52,690
What the hell's going on
in here?

363
00:16:52,691 --> 00:16:54,876
Hey, fellas.

364
00:16:54,877 --> 00:16:56,795
I just caught
the Greendale Seven

365
00:16:56,796 --> 00:16:58,463
trying to burn down
the school.

366
00:16:58,464 --> 00:17:01,166
I'm a hero.
How about that cake?

367
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:03,051
He's lying.
He kidnapped the Dean.

368
00:17:03,052 --> 00:17:05,203
Yeah, we gathered that much
when we found these two

369
00:17:05,204 --> 00:17:06,421
slap-fighting in the hallway.

370
00:17:06,422 --> 00:17:07,555
You stole my life!

371
00:17:07,556 --> 00:17:11,643
It is hard out there
for a fake Moby!

372
00:17:11,644 --> 00:17:15,847
Carl, Richie,
let me ex-Chang.

373
00:17:17,983 --> 00:17:21,853
I'm not getting paid,
am I?

374
00:17:21,854 --> 00:17:23,404
Hey!

375
00:17:23,405 --> 00:17:26,608
So a madman
in a Napoleon costume

376
00:17:26,609 --> 00:17:29,194
ran the school into the ground
and almost blew it up?

377
00:17:29,195 --> 00:17:31,863
Yeah.
And on our watch.

378
00:17:31,864 --> 00:17:33,031
What happened to us?

379
00:17:33,032 --> 00:17:35,233
Well, I have
a drinking problem.

380
00:17:35,234 --> 00:17:36,234
We're going to get fired.

381
00:17:36,235 --> 00:17:37,368
Only a matter of time

382
00:17:37,369 --> 00:17:39,904
until everyone finds out
what happened here.

383
00:17:39,905 --> 00:17:42,006
Nobody can sit on something
this big.

384
00:17:42,007 --> 00:17:44,909
I'll sit on it.

385
00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:47,262
When I became Dean,
I made a pledge

386
00:17:47,263 --> 00:17:49,013
to swallow
this school's failures

387
00:17:49,014 --> 00:17:55,053
and spit out degrees
because that's what deans do.

388
00:17:55,054 --> 00:17:56,387
You'd do that for us?

389
00:17:56,388 --> 00:17:57,388
No.

390
00:17:57,389 --> 00:17:59,190
I do it for Greendale.

391
00:17:59,191 --> 00:18:00,692
Aw.

392
00:18:00,693 --> 00:18:02,644
It's great to have you back,
Craig.

393
00:18:02,645 --> 00:18:05,864
It's almost as if you were
never unknowingly gone.

394
00:18:05,865 --> 00:18:07,982
Yard margs at Skeeper's.

395
00:18:07,983 --> 00:18:09,767
Perfect.
I left my credit card there.

396
00:18:09,768 --> 00:18:11,102
Thanks, Craig.

397
00:18:12,271 --> 00:18:14,939
You guys saved me.

398
00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:18,776
I don't know
how I will ever repay you.

399
00:18:18,777 --> 00:18:21,079
You already have.

400
00:18:26,869 --> 00:18:28,887
Troy,
you don't have to do this.

401
00:18:28,888 --> 00:18:31,222
The AC school has no claim
on your soul.

402
00:18:31,223 --> 00:18:32,290
No, but I do.

403
00:18:32,291 --> 00:18:33,725
A man's only as good
as his word,

404
00:18:33,726 --> 00:18:36,344
or his nod through a camera
to a guy with a button.

405
00:18:42,518 --> 00:18:45,937
It's time.
Say your goodbyes.

406
00:18:48,307 --> 00:18:50,775
Shirley, never change.

407
00:18:50,776 --> 00:18:52,977
Or do, if you want,
I'm not your boss.

408
00:18:52,978 --> 00:18:56,080
Oh, honey.

409
00:19:01,170 --> 00:19:03,254
Never wear a rubber.

410
00:19:08,928 --> 00:19:12,997
Never listen to Pierce.

411
00:19:16,468 --> 00:19:19,270
Whenever you finally finish
that Jigsaw puzzle...

412
00:19:19,271 --> 00:19:24,392
Will you tell me what kind of
boat is at the end of that dock?

413
00:19:29,031 --> 00:19:30,982
This is a lock of my hair.

414
00:19:32,701 --> 00:19:34,118
Creepy.

415
00:19:49,718 --> 00:19:53,037
All right, let's go.

416
00:20:07,820 --> 00:20:09,988
Abed?

417
00:20:09,989 --> 00:20:11,406
What did he say to you?

418
00:20:11,407 --> 00:20:15,360
He said, "I know you hate
when people do this in movies."

419
00:20:15,361 --> 00:20:16,945
Sorry I got emotional.

420
00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:29,924
Troy Barnes.

421
00:20:29,925 --> 00:20:32,260
Welcome home.

422
00:20:36,124 --> 00:20:39,210
I'm really digging
this hard house!

423
00:20:39,211 --> 00:20:41,028
It's quite a groove.

424
00:20:41,029 --> 00:20:43,130
This is my school!

425
00:20:43,131 --> 00:20:44,531
It's called Greendale,

426
00:20:44,532 --> 00:20:47,701
and I'm the Dean
of the entire school.

427
00:20:47,702 --> 00:20:52,339
I mean, I wasn't for a while,
but it's a long story.

428
00:20:52,340 --> 00:20:54,058
You guys, everybody,

429
00:20:54,059 --> 00:20:56,376
you should come by during
the day sometime.

430
00:20:56,377 --> 00:20:58,312
It's totally different.

431
00:20:58,313 --> 00:21:01,565
Really, stop by.
It'll blow your minds.

432
00:21:01,566 --> 00:21:03,851
You can meet my best friend,
Jeffrey.

433
00:21:03,852 --> 00:21:07,137
Sure, I'll take a back rub.
Who's asking?

