1 00:00:03,179 --> 00:00:05,782 ♪ The Simpsons. ♪ 2 00:00:12,202 --> 00:00:15,702 ♪ The Simpsons 23x22 ♪ Lisa Goes Gaga Original Air Date on May 20, 2012 3 00:00:15,703 --> 00:00:19,203 and FORD. Drive One. 4 00:00:21,178 --> 00:00:24,097 See that town? Goes by the name of Springfield. 5 00:00:24,164 --> 00:00:26,349 Birthplace of the brass knuckle, 6 00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:28,468 the Nigerian Prince scam, 7 00:00:28,535 --> 00:00:31,037 and putting a tomato on your grilled cheese sandwich. 8 00:00:33,607 --> 00:00:37,977 Our story begins not long ago... 9 00:00:38,045 --> 00:00:40,413 on what seemed like a typical day. 10 00:00:40,481 --> 00:00:42,982 Ralphie, please. That's not for people, son. 11 00:00:45,102 --> 00:00:47,770 Aw, he's a dumb kid, but he's an above-average dog. 12 00:00:47,838 --> 00:00:49,272 Roll over, son. 13 00:00:49,339 --> 00:00:52,408 Yay! Aw, nobody saw. 14 00:00:52,476 --> 00:00:54,927 But little did they know, a change was coming. 15 00:00:54,995 --> 00:00:57,230 First, the creatures of the Earth sensed it, 16 00:00:57,297 --> 00:00:59,348 then the fish of the deep. 17 00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:01,267 Then the Mormons got a heads-up. 18 00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:05,054 And then everybody else. 19 00:01:05,139 --> 00:01:07,023 Strange doin's, Mother. 20 00:01:07,107 --> 00:01:09,358 Horses are spooked, cows ain't milkin', 21 00:01:09,443 --> 00:01:10,777 and look what the chickens laid. 22 00:01:10,844 --> 00:01:12,528 Sparkle eggs?! 23 00:01:12,596 --> 00:01:14,697 Storm's a-comin'. 24 00:01:14,765 --> 00:01:18,568 Ain't no storm, Pa. It's The Lady Gaga Express! 25 00:01:18,652 --> 00:01:20,519 (Lady Gaga's Poker Face plays) 26 00:01:23,507 --> 00:01:24,640 She's-a-star! She's-a-star! 27 00:01:24,708 --> 00:01:25,942 She's-a-star! She's-a-star! 28 00:01:28,495 --> 00:01:32,765 Presenting the Queen of the Hottieverse, 29 00:01:32,833 --> 00:01:40,556 appearing courtesy of Interscope Records, Lady Gaga! 30 00:01:40,624 --> 00:01:41,791 At ease. 31 00:01:53,737 --> 00:01:56,506 Conductor, you know the rules. Take off some clothes. 32 00:01:56,573 --> 00:01:58,858 Oh, uh, yes, ma'am. sorry, ma'am. 33 00:01:58,926 --> 00:02:00,326 Now, what's our status? 34 00:02:00,393 --> 00:02:02,011 We are about to pass through... 35 00:02:02,079 --> 00:02:04,213 uh, Springfield. Springfield? 36 00:02:04,281 --> 00:02:05,731 What's their deal? 37 00:02:05,799 --> 00:02:07,700 Hm, let's see, quiet suburb... 38 00:02:07,768 --> 00:02:10,219 home of the Tomb of the Unknown Mascot... 39 00:02:10,287 --> 00:02:12,738 has the lowest self-esteem of any place on the planet. 40 00:02:12,806 --> 00:02:14,240 Really? 41 00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:17,994 Aw... That's so sad. And as entertainers, 44 00:02:22,666 --> 00:02:24,133 ugly bumps on the map like Springfield. 45 00:02:24,218 --> 00:02:26,385 Don't worry, we'll get you right on a plane. 46 00:02:26,453 --> 00:02:29,338 No! Don't you remember what happened at LaGuardia? 47 00:02:32,976 --> 00:02:34,377 Ready. 48 00:02:34,444 --> 00:02:36,345 Yeah, well, uh, you missed your flight. 49 00:02:36,413 --> 00:02:38,815 Then we'll party on the boarding ramp! 50 00:02:43,086 --> 00:02:45,121 Wait! I quit! 51 00:02:45,189 --> 00:02:47,857 We spend 90 minutes training 'em and off they go. 52 00:02:51,144 --> 00:02:53,112 I just can't ignore a billboard in pain. 53 00:02:53,180 --> 00:02:54,714 We're stopping in Springfield! But... 54 00:02:54,781 --> 00:02:56,165 No buts! 55 00:03:00,204 --> 00:03:02,154 Well, Lady Gaga couldn't arrive 56 00:03:02,222 --> 00:03:03,890 soon enough for one Lisa Simpson. 57 00:03:03,957 --> 00:03:05,858 Now let's turn to the ever-unpopular 58 00:03:05,926 --> 00:03:08,528 "Popularity Awards," the awards voted by students, 59 00:03:08,595 --> 00:03:09,929 in judgment of their peers. 60 00:03:09,997 --> 00:03:14,133 No way that can go wrong. First up, Campus Clown. 61 00:03:15,802 --> 00:03:17,854 Bart Simpson. 62 00:03:17,921 --> 00:03:22,058 (Simpsons theme plays) 63 00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:23,643 That's my brother. 64 00:03:23,710 --> 00:03:25,344 Four years out of four. 65 00:03:27,130 --> 00:03:28,998 Prank you! Prank you very much! 66 00:03:33,220 --> 00:03:34,554 Call back. 67 00:03:34,621 --> 00:03:36,539 I fail to see the honor in this. 68 00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,841 Aren't awards shows rather silly? 69 00:03:38,909 --> 00:03:41,360 What?! Without awards shows, how would I know what movie 70 00:03:41,428 --> 00:03:44,780 has the best beheading, or that Glee is a comedy? 71 00:03:44,848 --> 00:03:47,984 And now the award for Least Popular Student. 72 00:03:48,051 --> 00:03:49,619 Lisa Simpson! 73 00:03:49,686 --> 00:03:50,887 What? 74 00:03:50,954 --> 00:03:52,588 Least Popular? 75 00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:55,091 I gotta go. 76 00:03:55,158 --> 00:03:56,626 You probably should accept it, Lisa. 77 00:03:56,693 --> 00:03:58,160 They'll go easier on you if you do. 78 00:04:01,198 --> 00:04:02,832 Um... 79 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,867 Thank you for noticing me. 80 00:04:06,503 --> 00:04:08,337 She actually accepted it! 81 00:04:08,405 --> 00:04:10,773 You said they'd take it easy on me. 82 00:04:10,841 --> 00:04:12,308 I know very little about children. 83 00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:17,380 We've got to cheer up a whole town. 84 00:04:17,447 --> 00:04:20,232 Where's the dress I wore when I met the Pope? 85 00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:23,803 It's nice, but I saw Jennifer Lopez wearing it. 86 00:04:23,870 --> 00:04:25,471 Burn it. Burn it now. 87 00:04:25,538 --> 00:04:26,689 Help! Help! 88 00:04:27,958 --> 00:04:29,492 I've been on here since Chicago! 89 00:04:29,559 --> 00:04:31,127 I just want my life back! 90 00:04:31,194 --> 00:04:33,279 No negativity! Oh, you're right. 91 00:04:33,347 --> 00:04:36,065 I'm missing a terrible winter! 92 00:04:37,801 --> 00:04:41,003 And that's how Berber carpet got its name according to some. 93 00:04:41,071 --> 00:04:42,672 Lisa, how was your day? 94 00:04:42,739 --> 00:04:45,041 Um, can I be excused from holding up 95 00:04:45,108 --> 00:04:46,575 my end of the conversation? 96 00:04:46,643 --> 00:04:47,877 What's wrong with her? 97 00:04:47,945 --> 00:04:49,712 She just found out no one likes her. 98 00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:51,213 I thought she knew. 99 00:04:51,281 --> 00:04:53,950 Hey, Lisa, maybe you'd feel a little better 100 00:04:54,017 --> 00:04:57,720 if you read the Daily Fourth Gradian Message Board, huh? 101 00:04:57,788 --> 00:05:00,990 Let's see. "Uncensored Jump-rope Chants." 102 00:05:01,058 --> 00:05:05,094 Oh, there's a whole thread labeled "Lisa Simpson"! 103 00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:08,481 Wha...? Ay carumba. 104 00:05:08,548 --> 00:05:09,882 Somebody's actually on your side! 105 00:05:11,752 --> 00:05:14,020 "Lisa doesn't judge other people. 106 00:05:14,087 --> 00:05:17,289 Why should we judge her?" It's signed, "Truth Teller." 107 00:05:17,357 --> 00:05:20,426 Whoever this "Truth Teller" is, I'm a fan. 108 00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:23,863 It takes a lot of courage to post nice things anonymously. 109 00:05:23,930 --> 00:05:26,932 You know, it seems like more than a coincidence 110 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,002 that Milhouse brought it to our attention. Hm? 111 00:05:30,070 --> 00:05:32,672 Well, I certainly wish I was Truth Teller. 112 00:05:32,739 --> 00:05:36,208 But if I was, you'd know, because I can't keep a secret. 113 00:05:36,276 --> 00:05:38,911 I sleep under my bed every night 'cause I'm scared 114 00:05:38,979 --> 00:05:42,148 of the cars from Cars. If gasoline is their food, 115 00:05:42,215 --> 00:05:43,916 then why do they have teeth?! 116 00:05:47,771 --> 00:05:51,340 So, Lisa, I guess you're not as unpopular as we thought. 117 00:05:51,425 --> 00:05:53,609 Yep. Message boards are never wrong. 118 00:05:53,677 --> 00:05:56,679 Well, um, maybe we should skip rope together. 119 00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,514 - Dutch? - Double Dutch. 120 00:05:58,582 --> 00:06:00,783 Forgive a fool her tears. 121 00:06:00,851 --> 00:06:02,768 Hey, Lis, some fifth graders are having 122 00:06:02,836 --> 00:06:05,204 a make-your-own pizza party at Flesh-In-The-Pan Pizza, 123 00:06:05,272 --> 00:06:06,505 and wanted me to invite you. 124 00:06:06,573 --> 00:06:08,808 Fifth graders? Ooh-la-la! 125 00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:11,243 They get to put their desks in a circle! 126 00:06:11,311 --> 00:06:13,162 And read books where the parents are divorced. 127 00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:15,181 That joint is jumpin'. 128 00:06:15,248 --> 00:06:18,384 So, when's the party? 129 00:06:18,452 --> 00:06:21,120 "Lisa rocks, and so does her rock collection." Huh? 130 00:06:21,188 --> 00:06:24,240 That's mine! 131 00:06:24,307 --> 00:06:27,059 This notebook is full of things Truth Teller said. 132 00:06:27,127 --> 00:06:29,762 Give that back! This one says "post next Friday." 133 00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:32,164 Oh, my God! 134 00:06:32,232 --> 00:06:33,699 You're Truth Teller! 135 00:06:35,669 --> 00:06:38,170 Lisa, what you did is like my mom 136 00:06:38,238 --> 00:06:40,339 sticking ten bucks in her own G-string. 137 00:06:40,407 --> 00:06:41,674 Truth Teller? 138 00:06:41,742 --> 00:06:43,642 More like Lie Smeller! 139 00:06:43,710 --> 00:06:45,845 Lie Smeller! Lie Smeller! 140 00:06:45,912 --> 00:06:47,713 Oh, great, it stuck! 141 00:06:54,204 --> 00:06:57,089 ♪ ♪ 142 00:06:57,157 --> 00:06:58,991 Take five. 143 00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:02,995 Hey, easy on the soda. 144 00:07:03,063 --> 00:07:05,247 I don't want gassy demons like last night. 145 00:07:05,332 --> 00:07:06,799 Jerry. 146 00:07:06,866 --> 00:07:08,717 Wait a minute... 147 00:07:08,802 --> 00:07:10,803 No! No, no! 148 00:07:10,870 --> 00:07:13,506 Brrr... Make it stop! 149 00:07:13,557 --> 00:07:15,141 Oh! 150 00:07:15,208 --> 00:07:16,759 ♪ Oh... ♪ 151 00:07:16,843 --> 00:07:19,929 Someone in Springfield needs my help. 152 00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:21,263 Light up the after-bras. 153 00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:29,922 That's it, I am off of this stuff. 154 00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:31,824 Me, too, sweetheart. 155 00:07:31,892 --> 00:07:32,925 Kids? 156 00:07:32,993 --> 00:07:35,194 Yes, Mama. 157 00:07:35,245 --> 00:07:37,113 No exceptions! 158 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:44,621 Kent Brockman reporting live from the Springfield rail yards, 159 00:07:44,705 --> 00:07:46,806 where Lady Gaga's fabulous freighter 160 00:07:46,874 --> 00:07:49,926 has bumped and grinded its way into town. 161 00:07:49,994 --> 00:07:51,628 Suffice it to say, this is the most 162 00:07:51,695 --> 00:07:54,063 culturally significant train to stop here since 163 00:07:54,131 --> 00:07:57,734 the McKinley funeral cortege paused to pick up casket ice. 164 00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:04,340 Now, sweetie, don't make a big deal out of this. 165 00:08:04,408 --> 00:08:07,110 I stopped reading after "Top Student." 166 00:08:07,177 --> 00:08:09,445 Want to honk your jazz tube? 167 00:08:09,513 --> 00:08:12,015 Oh, what is the point? 168 00:08:12,082 --> 00:08:14,317 I think this is the end of me. 169 00:08:14,385 --> 00:08:16,386 All I had was my integrity. 170 00:08:16,453 --> 00:08:17,920 And now that's gone. 171 00:08:17,988 --> 00:08:21,658 I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. 172 00:08:21,725 --> 00:08:25,061 I try not to cry till you're asleep. 173 00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:27,964 I appreciate that. 174 00:08:28,032 --> 00:08:31,034 Look, if I could just spend a few days 175 00:08:31,101 --> 00:08:33,903 in my room without anyone trying to cheer me up, 176 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,489 I think I might have a chance to... 177 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,324 Hey, why don't we go see Lady Gaga? 178 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,326 That'll turn your frown upside down. 179 00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:43,730 It's not a frown. It is a straight line of resignation. 180 00:08:43,797 --> 00:08:46,032 Looks just the same upside down. 181 00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:48,935 What are you talking about? Y-You're right! 182 00:08:49,003 --> 00:08:51,504 Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop! 183 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:55,174 Dad, if you really want to help, please stop trying to help. 184 00:08:55,242 --> 00:08:58,011 I will, but you know me and my crazy number thing 185 00:08:58,078 --> 00:09:00,179 where I always have to get to 17. 186 00:09:00,247 --> 00:09:02,248 Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop! 187 00:09:02,316 --> 00:09:03,566 Voop! Voop! Voop! 188 00:09:03,634 --> 00:09:05,601 Whoops, I lost count. Better start again. 189 00:09:05,669 --> 00:09:06,886 Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop! 190 00:09:09,923 --> 00:09:14,360 Gaga-oo-la-la. Gaga-ra-ma-ma. 191 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,429 Come on, Lisa, come on. 192 00:09:16,497 --> 00:09:18,664 I'm sorry, I don't really want to be here. 193 00:09:22,469 --> 00:09:24,721 Claws up, Springfield! 194 00:09:24,788 --> 00:09:27,890 Never forget, you're all my Little Monsters! 195 00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:29,892 Uh, actually, I'm half monster, half Armenian. 196 00:09:29,977 --> 00:09:31,711 Pick your poison. 197 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,146 And you should love yourselves as much 198 00:09:33,213 --> 00:09:35,982 as I love you, because... 199 00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,867 Tell us in song. ♪ Because... ♪ 200 00:09:37,935 --> 00:09:40,603 With theatricality. Come on, I woke up for this. 201 00:09:40,671 --> 00:09:41,971 ♪ ♪ 202 00:09:42,856 --> 00:09:44,123 Four! 203 00:09:44,191 --> 00:09:45,258 Three! 204 00:09:45,325 --> 00:09:46,209 Two! 205 00:09:46,293 --> 00:09:47,643 Where are they going with this? 206 00:09:47,711 --> 00:09:48,961 One! 207 00:10:00,858 --> 00:10:01,824 Ah! 208 00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:03,359 ♪ When they're young ♪ 209 00:10:03,427 --> 00:10:09,482 ♪ All little monsters learn that they are scary ♪ 210 00:10:09,550 --> 00:10:18,174 ♪ Ugly, stupid, shunned by cupid, overweight and hairy ♪ 211 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:24,831 ♪ But every monster needs to find that secret deep inside ♪ 212 00:10:24,898 --> 00:10:32,422 ♪ That transforms Dr. Jekyll into sexy Mr. Hyde ♪ 213 00:10:37,861 --> 00:10:41,597 ♪ All my monsters are beautiful ♪ 214 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,216 ♪ Disco Stu-tiful ♪ 215 00:10:43,283 --> 00:10:45,151 ♪ Square root-iful...♪ 216 00:10:45,219 --> 00:10:47,019 ♪ Old coot-iful ♪ 217 00:10:47,087 --> 00:10:49,122 I love you, Lady Zsa Zsa! 218 00:10:49,189 --> 00:10:52,875 ♪ Monsters don't need implants or a bitchin' monster car ♪ 219 00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:57,280 ♪ Monsters only need to love the monster that they are ♪ 220 00:10:59,349 --> 00:11:00,533 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 221 00:11:00,601 --> 00:11:01,501 ♪ Gaga ♪ 222 00:11:01,568 --> 00:11:02,535 ♪ Dada ♪ 223 00:11:02,603 --> 00:11:03,486 ♪ Jawa ♪ 224 00:11:03,554 --> 00:11:04,504 ♪ Peace! ♪ 225 00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:06,789 Ew. 226 00:11:06,857 --> 00:11:07,790 Whoo-hoo! Whoo! 227 00:11:07,858 --> 00:11:08,691 Whoo! Whoo! 228 00:11:08,759 --> 00:11:09,759 All right! 229 00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,746 Lie Smeller! Lie Smeller! 230 00:11:16,033 --> 00:11:18,084 Does everyone love themselves? 231 00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:23,306 That kind of thing sounds hollow from anyone but you! 232 00:11:26,093 --> 00:11:27,910 Now, we have to get going. 233 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,812 Wait a minute. No. 234 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,764 No, no! 235 00:11:37,604 --> 00:11:39,372 You! 236 00:11:39,439 --> 00:11:40,723 What's wrong, honey? 237 00:11:40,791 --> 00:11:44,494 Please, I've had enough attention for one day! 238 00:11:44,561 --> 00:11:48,164 Yo, lighting! I can't see the girl who's had enough attention. 239 00:11:51,134 --> 00:11:53,169 We should go to your house and talk. 240 00:11:53,237 --> 00:11:54,937 Incognito! 241 00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:55,838 Oh, God. 242 00:11:57,241 --> 00:11:59,976 Psst! It's me, Gaga. 243 00:12:00,043 --> 00:12:01,861 But no one must know. 244 00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,263 Gaga. Gaga. Gaga. 245 00:12:04,331 --> 00:12:08,734 So peaceful. Just the buzzing of the paparazzi. 246 00:12:10,888 --> 00:12:12,605 Hey, Gary. How's your wife and kids? 247 00:12:12,673 --> 00:12:14,874 Still ashamed of me. Big smile! 248 00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,642 This is where I live. 249 00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:18,778 Well, hello. 250 00:12:18,845 --> 00:12:20,913 It's one of those music industry superstars 251 00:12:20,981 --> 00:12:23,673 who's turning our innocent children into ladies of the night. 252 00:12:23,674 --> 00:12:25,744 What sweater drawer did you crawl out of? 253 00:12:25,819 --> 00:12:28,554 Name's Ned Flanders, I've heard of you. 254 00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:31,824 Haven't seen so much skin since shedding season on a snake farm. 255 00:12:31,892 --> 00:12:34,393 But all I'm saying is that everyone is beautiful... 256 00:12:34,461 --> 00:12:36,762 Yes, but Jesus said that... 257 00:12:36,830 --> 00:12:38,631 pretty much the same thing. 258 00:12:38,699 --> 00:12:41,100 Darn it, the Bible said the Devil would be attractive. 259 00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:43,069 What makes you think I'm the Devil? 260 00:12:45,756 --> 00:12:48,674 Unless you're gonna slap some wieners on those, turn 'em off. 261 00:12:49,776 --> 00:12:52,111 Joke's on you; I needed a trim. 262 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,254 Bastards! 263 00:13:01,321 --> 00:13:04,156 Lisa, look at me. 264 00:13:04,224 --> 00:13:07,243 So what if your number one supporter is you. 265 00:13:07,311 --> 00:13:08,761 That's how it should be. 266 00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:11,163 I had some very tough times myself 267 00:13:11,231 --> 00:13:13,699 before I became a superstar at age 22. 268 00:13:13,767 --> 00:13:16,869 Everything is gonna be fine. You better yet? 269 00:13:16,937 --> 00:13:20,206 Sorry, gotta answer this text. 270 00:13:20,274 --> 00:13:21,774 Please, take your time. 271 00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:25,144 You know what you need? 272 00:13:25,212 --> 00:13:27,513 Solitude? Flash mob! 273 00:13:30,884 --> 00:13:33,886 Now, Lisa, if that didn't fundamentally change 274 00:13:33,954 --> 00:13:37,523 who you are, I don't know what. 275 00:13:42,663 --> 00:13:45,131 You idiots! She meant we should disperse. 276 00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:51,370 Lisa, you un-tattooed little miracle, 277 00:13:51,438 --> 00:13:55,641 I'm not leaving here until I restore your sense of hope. 278 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:59,645 Let me explain. I have a chance for a grim but tolerable life, 279 00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,781 but only if I give up hope. 280 00:14:01,848 --> 00:14:04,650 Now if you don't mind, and with all due worship, 281 00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,752 I would like to be alone. 282 00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:09,822 Lady Gaga, meet your biggest threat: Baby Googoo. 283 00:14:12,509 --> 00:14:14,377 Can I please be alone? 284 00:14:25,339 --> 00:14:28,324 Well, it worked once. 285 00:14:32,513 --> 00:14:35,114 So, any ideas about Lisa? 286 00:14:35,182 --> 00:14:38,234 I never have any idea what to do for Lisa. 287 00:14:38,302 --> 00:14:41,070 To be the mother of someone who's so smart 288 00:14:41,138 --> 00:14:45,224 and so sensitive and who beautifully plays an instrument 289 00:14:45,292 --> 00:14:47,660 I don't really care for, 290 00:14:47,728 --> 00:14:49,929 it's so hard. 291 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:52,799 I wish I was one of those 292 00:14:52,866 --> 00:14:54,968 young women who could just wave their hands 293 00:14:55,035 --> 00:14:56,836 in front of their eyes and not cry, 294 00:14:56,904 --> 00:14:58,738 because it doesn't work for me. 295 00:14:58,806 --> 00:15:00,206 Marge... 296 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,641 Ah... 297 00:15:01,709 --> 00:15:03,409 Ooh! Aah! Ooh! Marge. Marge. 298 00:15:03,477 --> 00:15:04,377 Marge. Hm... 299 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,346 Marge, take it easy. 300 00:15:06,413 --> 00:15:08,181 It's just human contact. 301 00:15:08,248 --> 00:15:11,651 I'm afraid handholding isn't going to cheer me up. 302 00:15:11,719 --> 00:15:13,419 Well, maybe this will. 303 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,608 Homer! 304 00:15:18,676 --> 00:15:20,209 Wow. Wow. 305 00:15:20,277 --> 00:15:23,713 This is like the night Hillary won the New Hampshire Primary. 306 00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:28,084 Lisa snuck out. 307 00:15:28,152 --> 00:15:29,952 I'm going after her. 308 00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:32,689 - What are you gonna say? - Whoo! Mm. 309 00:15:32,756 --> 00:15:34,574 I'll just tell her that... 310 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,242 Stop it, Homer! 311 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,861 Some of that meat is me. Can I just trim the hem? 312 00:15:38,929 --> 00:15:40,529 It's yours. 313 00:15:44,752 --> 00:15:46,786 Oh, good. She's playing. 314 00:15:46,854 --> 00:15:49,689 Not so good. It's "Lisa Roulette." 315 00:15:49,757 --> 00:15:51,491 Don't let her get you! 316 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:55,428 Her eyes shoot loser lasers! 317 00:15:59,933 --> 00:16:01,384 There is no over-the-top. 318 00:16:01,435 --> 00:16:02,852 There is no over-the-top. 319 00:16:02,903 --> 00:16:04,537 Run! 320 00:16:04,605 --> 00:16:08,408 With an egg that big, there's gotta be an even bigger chicken! 321 00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:12,128 Lisa? 322 00:16:12,196 --> 00:16:15,064 Lisa, listen to me. 323 00:16:15,132 --> 00:16:18,167 This pity party's being shut down by the smile police. 324 00:16:18,235 --> 00:16:20,002 Here's what you're gonna do. 325 00:16:20,070 --> 00:16:22,205 Why do you keep telling me what I'm gonna do? 326 00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:23,906 This isn't about me. 327 00:16:23,974 --> 00:16:25,564 Well, who else would it be about? 328 00:16:25,589 --> 00:16:26,509 You! 329 00:16:26,510 --> 00:16:29,946 It's about "Hello, hello, Springfield." 330 00:16:30,013 --> 00:16:32,048 "It's me, Gaga!" 331 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:35,184 "Why is everyone looking at my purple hair 332 00:16:35,252 --> 00:16:36,686 full of bluebirds?" 333 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,556 Well, I denounce thee! Wha...? 334 00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:42,191 I denounce thee for giving people ambitions 335 00:16:42,259 --> 00:16:43,926 they cannot fulfill. 336 00:16:43,994 --> 00:16:45,595 And I denounce thee for positing a world 337 00:16:45,662 --> 00:16:49,165 where social acceptance and walking on heels are easy! 338 00:16:49,233 --> 00:16:51,768 Please, may we kill the kid? 339 00:16:51,835 --> 00:16:54,053 I denounce thee! I denounce thee! 340 00:16:54,121 --> 00:16:55,471 I denounce thee! 341 00:16:55,539 --> 00:16:58,174 Whoa, easy, little monster. 342 00:16:58,242 --> 00:17:00,610 Don't "monster" me. 343 00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:03,880 Whatever you say. 344 00:17:08,352 --> 00:17:09,952 Are you crying... glitter? 345 00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:11,404 Tiny diamonds. 346 00:17:11,472 --> 00:17:13,306 Hurts like hell. 347 00:17:13,373 --> 00:17:16,375 Gaga, Gaga, Gaga, Gaga... 348 00:17:18,398 --> 00:17:21,600 Okay Lisa, coming up to make things better! 349 00:17:21,668 --> 00:17:24,503 Okay, I'm almost there. 350 00:17:24,571 --> 00:17:26,638 Upward, ever upward. 351 00:17:26,706 --> 00:17:28,407 Stay hydrated... 352 00:17:28,474 --> 00:17:30,609 Oh, I'm on the wrong tree! 353 00:17:30,677 --> 00:17:32,878 Okay, try again. 354 00:17:32,946 --> 00:17:34,880 Here we go, okay. 355 00:17:34,948 --> 00:17:37,516 Oh... Lisa, can you come down? 356 00:17:40,803 --> 00:17:42,538 Sweetie, I've been thinking. 357 00:17:42,605 --> 00:17:44,873 Now, this all started because you used a fake name 358 00:17:44,941 --> 00:17:47,209 to defend yourself. 359 00:17:47,277 --> 00:17:49,711 The problem's not that you were cheating. 360 00:17:50,813 --> 00:17:53,015 It's that you got caught. 361 00:17:54,284 --> 00:17:57,653 I cheat on my diet, but nobody knows 362 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,222 'cause the damage is on the inside, 363 00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:02,724 and the first warning sign is sudden death. 364 00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:04,593 So, honey, what do you say? 365 00:18:04,661 --> 00:18:06,795 Dad, thank you! 366 00:18:06,846 --> 00:18:09,147 Like always, the fact that I could tune you out 367 00:18:09,232 --> 00:18:11,316 without fearing I'd miss out on something 368 00:18:11,401 --> 00:18:13,502 gave me the time to take stock and realize 369 00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,637 how ungrateful I have been. 370 00:18:15,705 --> 00:18:18,640 Which means, I've got a train to catch. 371 00:18:18,708 --> 00:18:21,159 Parenting. 372 00:18:21,227 --> 00:18:25,197 It's the one job you know you're always doing right. 373 00:18:25,265 --> 00:18:28,967 So long, Springfield. You are my Waterloo. 374 00:18:30,904 --> 00:18:34,573 And now I'm just going to lie in bed and eat Fruit Roll-Ups. 375 00:18:34,641 --> 00:18:37,142 Why is she doing in defeat what I do in victory? 376 00:18:41,931 --> 00:18:42,965 Gaga! 377 00:18:43,032 --> 00:18:43,966 Lisa? 378 00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:45,300 Why are you here? 379 00:18:45,351 --> 00:18:46,635 To thank you. 380 00:18:46,686 --> 00:18:47,669 For what? 381 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,671 Look at me! You did help me 382 00:18:49,722 --> 00:18:52,024 by allowing me to inappropriately focus 383 00:18:52,108 --> 00:18:54,810 eight years of rage and rejection on you. 384 00:18:54,861 --> 00:18:57,095 It was like a great sneeze. 385 00:18:57,163 --> 00:18:59,064 And now I can say what's good about me. 386 00:18:59,132 --> 00:19:01,500 And I can say it as Lisa Simpson! 387 00:19:01,567 --> 00:19:03,702 Just not that loud. Go ahead. 388 00:19:03,770 --> 00:19:06,888 Well, I am smart, nice, tolerant, funny 389 00:19:06,956 --> 00:19:08,957 but not "mean funny," and I never forget a birthday, 390 00:19:09,025 --> 00:19:10,759 even for kids who move away. 391 00:19:10,827 --> 00:19:12,461 Now, Lisa, there's only one last thing 392 00:19:12,528 --> 00:19:14,546 you have to do to be a Little Monster. 393 00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,865 I'll do anything but sing. 394 00:19:16,916 --> 00:19:19,935 You are gonna sing! 395 00:19:20,003 --> 00:19:21,019 ♪ ♪ 396 00:19:26,192 --> 00:19:28,627 ♪ I used to think that I was stupid ♪ 397 00:19:28,695 --> 00:19:30,512 ♪ Worthless, weak and wrong ♪ 398 00:19:30,563 --> 00:19:33,882 ♪ A mockingbird without a song ♪ 399 00:19:33,933 --> 00:19:37,819 ♪ I was small inside and lacking pride ♪ 400 00:19:37,887 --> 00:19:40,639 ♪ On a one-way train to be Milhouse's bride ♪ 401 00:19:40,707 --> 00:19:43,792 End the song! End it right here! 402 00:19:43,860 --> 00:19:46,044 ♪ I love NPR and Jazz guitar ♪ 403 00:19:46,112 --> 00:19:48,063 ♪ Someday I'll design a solar car ♪ 404 00:19:48,114 --> 00:19:51,299 ♪ That's right, I'm Lisa Simpson, superstar! ♪ 405 00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:53,852 ♪ You've got a great big heart ♪ 406 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:57,522 ♪ It's at the top of my chart ♪ 407 00:19:57,590 --> 00:20:01,393 ♪ Lisa Simpson, Lisa Simpson ♪ 408 00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:04,262 ♪ Lisa Simpson Superstar ♪ 409 00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:09,084 ♪ Lisa Simpson, Lisa Simpson ♪ 410 00:20:09,152 --> 00:20:11,820 ♪ Lisa Simpson Superstar ♪ 411 00:20:11,888 --> 00:20:14,339 ♪ You're a superstar ♪ 412 00:20:14,407 --> 00:20:16,108 Wait, wait! Wait...! 413 00:20:19,729 --> 00:20:21,446 Can you help me with my self-esteem? 414 00:20:21,531 --> 00:20:22,547 I'm not that good. 415 00:20:22,615 --> 00:20:23,949 Right, gotcha. 416 00:20:27,453 --> 00:20:29,554 And the best thing is, 417 00:20:29,622 --> 00:20:32,774 even if they weren't waving, it would be okay. 418 00:20:32,842 --> 00:20:34,609 I bet a lot of folks are wondering, 419 00:20:34,677 --> 00:20:36,078 did this story really happen? 420 00:20:36,129 --> 00:20:38,196 Well, it did. 421 00:20:38,264 --> 00:20:40,615 And I know because I was one of Gaga's dancers. 422 00:20:40,683 --> 00:20:42,584 The one with the spangliest crotch. 423 00:20:44,954 --> 00:20:46,922 Higher! 424 00:20:49,242 --> 00:20:51,193 I'm speaking fast because I'm so excited. 425 00:20:51,260 --> 00:20:53,178 See Maggie Simpson in her first starring role 426 00:20:53,246 --> 00:20:54,913 in The Longest Daycare in 3D 427 00:20:54,981 --> 00:20:56,948 before Ice Age Continental Drift only in theaters. 428 00:20:57,016 --> 00:20:58,850 We've already done the hardest part making the poster. 429 00:20:58,875 --> 00:21:02,375 == sync, corrected by elderman == 430 00:21:04,607 --> 00:21:06,274 ♪ I love my Homer face ♪ 431 00:21:06,342 --> 00:21:08,210 ♪ Yeah, that's what I said ♪ 432 00:21:08,277 --> 00:21:11,713 ♪ Right where it should be on the front of my head ♪ 433 00:21:11,781 --> 00:21:15,917 ♪ Stubble, muzzle, overbite, two eyes that really bug ♪ 434 00:21:15,985 --> 00:21:20,322 ♪ These are the components of my Homer-riffic mug ♪ 435 00:21:20,389 --> 00:21:24,359 ♪ D'oh-d'oh-e-d'oh-d'oh-d'oh, ohhh ♪ 436 00:21:24,427 --> 00:21:27,829 ♪ I shave it close, trim hairs from my nose ♪ 437 00:21:27,897 --> 00:21:33,068 ♪ D'oh-d'oh-e-d'oh-d'oh-d'oh, ohhh ♪ 438 00:21:33,136 --> 00:21:37,139 ♪ I clean my ears, 'cause that's how I hears ♪ 439 00:21:37,206 --> 00:21:39,174 ♪ I like my, I like my ♪ 440 00:21:39,242 --> 00:21:42,544 ♪ I really like my Homer face. ♪ 441 00:21:45,414 --> 00:21:46,281 Shh!