Femme Fatales 02x02 Gun Twisted Original Air Date on June 1, 2012
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
- Looks like somebody just took up shooting.
- How could you tell?
It's a lot tougher than I thought it would be.
- Well, isn't everything in life worthwhile really hard?
- I guess so.
- I'm Bart.
- I'm Laurie.
- Would you like me to give you some pointers?
- Yeah, I guess I could use a few.
- All right.
Let's grab the gun.
There you go.
Hold it steady.
Just like this, hold it steady.
Perfect.
- Now what?
- I want you to breathe.
I want you to relax.
Don't jerk the trigger.
I want you to focus on the target
like you're trailing it.
Now gently and firmly...
squeeze.
That was great.
- That was incredible.
- I think this gun might be too heavy for you.
You might want to think of getting, like,
something like, um, a 9 or a .40.
- I know. I just--
I always dreamed of handling a big gun.
- Is that right?
Would you like to see mine?
- Guns have always had the power to arouse.
They symbolize control, virility, and gratification.
They also go by many names.
Maverick, Ice, Goose, Viper,
Stinger, Slider, Tec, and Heartbreaker.
Loving a gun is a lot like loving a femme fatale.
Both obsessions can lead you on a path to destruction.
♪ I've got my eye on you ♪
♪ ♪
♪ and a motive too ♪
♪ your fooling around is getting blood on my shoes ♪
♪ oh whoa oh ♪
♪ oh oh ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I've set my sights on you ♪
♪ I set my sights on you ♪
♪ I've set my sights on you ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I've got an alibi too ♪
♪ so don't look around ♪
♪ I've got nothing to lose ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
♪ oh oh ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
♪ oh oh ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
♪ ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
♪ oh oh ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
- So how did you end up
with a whole warehouse all to yourself?
- Actually, it belongs to a buddy of mine.
A year ago, this place was the biggest chop shop
in the city.
I'm just taking care of it for him, you know,
while he's a guest of the state.
- This is... An awesome collection.
Do they all fire?
- You better believe it.
Keep them ready for what they're built to do.
- Kill?
- Impose will.
A gun used the right way never has to be fired.
- Nice tattoo.
What does it mean?
- I got it in prison.
It stands for time that never ends.
- That's how your sentence felt?
- That's right.
4 years is like 40 in the joint.
- So what did you do?
- Armed robbery.
- Tell me about it...
and don't leave anything out.
- Well, here it goes.
Two nights, I was the king of the city.
Me and my partner hit a couple of high-end joints.
My job was to be the intimidator.
The hammer.
I did it all with mental violence.
I choreographed it perfectly, you know?
I put the fear of God in those people,
so they did exactly what I wanted them to do.
They gave me their wallets, their money,
their cash, their jewelry, everything.
It was like Christmas gifts.
- That sounds great.
But how did you get caught?
- I didn't get caught.
My partner did.
He tried to sell some jewels to a fence
that turned out to be an undercover cop.
And then they had him roll over onto me.
- So I guess the important thing is...
having a partner you can trust.
- That's right.
But I barely regret it.
I had this killer rush.
Come here.
You know what it's like to have every nerve
in your body firing at the same time?
- Yes.
- Aren't you afraid to be
with a big, bad ex-con like myself?
Hmm?
- A little bit.
But I always had a weakness for bad boys.
- Hey, are you crying, baby? What's the matter?
- Today has been great.
And tomorrow, it's back to reality,
and looking for a job.
I got fired last week.
- Ah, those fucking bosses.
I could never hold a regular gig
because of those fucking assholes.
I always had one of those dudes on my case.
You know, they never leave you alone.
That's why I became a thief, you know?
They forced me to do it.
- Yeah.
Yeah, that was my problem.
Sarah, the assistant manager,
she was this frigid bitch from the wrong side of hell.
She set me up to get canned.
- What did she do?
Sarah kept thinking I was trying to fuck the bank manager,
which was a bunch of paranoid bullshit.
I know my drawers kept coming up short
because she fucked with the count.
She smirked at me when I cleaned out my desk.
Bitch.
- You worked at a bank?
- Yeah.
I was a teller at Cuesta Verde National
for three years.
- Do you know much about the security?
- Are you kidding?
I mean, everything.
They're lucky I don't rob banks.
- Yeah, but you thought about it.
Sitting next to all that cheddar,
anybody would.
- I think about hitting the lottery.
Doesn't mean I'm gonna win.
- Yeah, but robbing a bank is different.
It'll be a piece of cake with your insider info.
It'll be a great score.
- Yeah, or we could go to prison.
- You only go to prison if you get caught.
And I won't get caught.
I see you have a short memory.
You got caught before.
- No, I didn't get caught. My partner did.
I made the wrong choice of picking that partner.
But now I'll be working with you.
- Only I'm not a criminal.
- No.
Everyone is a criminal.
Everyone cheats on their taxes.
Everyone runs through red lights.
Everyone drives at 90 miles per hour
when they should be going at 50.
People are fucking people they have no business fucking.
They just commit their crime in the dark,
when no one's looking.
They're cowards.
They don't have the guts to say, "fuck the world,
I'm gonna do what I want, and I'm gonna take it."
That's me.
That's us, baby. That's you.
- Why don't--
why don't I just tell you what I know,
and then you could get someone else
to do it with you?
- No, because I'm done being screwed
by people I can't control.
That's where you're perfect.
You're the perfect partner
because you love being controlled.
Isn't that right?
- Maybe.
Sometimes.
But it doesn't mean I don't get scared.
- Don't worry.
I'll go check the bank tomorrow,
see what's what,
and then we'll decide.
- A smart criminal sees the world
a whole lot different than regular people.
When I'm casing a joint,
time slows down so much,
it's like everything and everyone comes to a stop.
Everything was just like you said, Laurie.
The manager hires cute tellers--
a good thing.
Lookers don't risk getting killed.
And the late afternoon guard is a gut-bucket slob.
I'll bet you anything that loser
never even practices with that cheap jack pistol
they gave him.
We can go out the rear exit
and be in the alley in seconds.
Standard issue digital camera with typical low resolution.
So we can get away with simple disguises.
And I saw your best pal Sarah,
and she's got "bitch" written all over her.
All over her.
- Okay,
if we go in the bank at closing on Friday,
the vault will be full of cash.
The silent alarms are here and here.
- Now, you're sure the upstairs area's always open?
- Yeah, yeah, that's mostly used for breaks.
- Okay, that's where we're gonna herd the cattle.
Let's go over this again and again until it's perfect.
It's gonna go down like clockwork.
- Back inside, fat boy!
- Everybody, get down! This is a robbery!
Get the fuck down!
Don't you fucking move! Don't you fucking move!
- Nobody fucking move.
Keep your hands in the air.
Everybody shut the hell up!
- Don't you fucking move, now, you hear?
These are the fucking rules!
You fucking move, you die!
You stop moving right now!
Keep your hands up.
- I'm gonna murder every one of you
motherfucking cocksucking pieces of shit!
Keep your hands where I can see them.
I don't care about the fucking money.
I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill all of you.
Give me a reason. Make my day.
Make my day and I'll fucking kill you, you fuckers!
- Hey, hey! Let me see your hands!
You push that button, you die!
Everybody on your knees.
- You! What the fuck are you looking at?
What are you looking at, bitch?
- Nothing! - Do you feel lucky today?
- No! - Do you feel lucky today?
Do you want to taste what this fucking gun tastes like?
Do you want to taste the gun? Do you want to eat the gun?
- Baby, what are you doing?
Baby, come on! What are you doing?
Let's go! Let's go up the stairs, now!
- Get up now.
You heard him. Move your asses.
Get upstairs. Now!
I said move it, baldy.
Move it. Move your asses.
- Stop right there!
Don't you fucking move.
I'll blow your heads off. You hear me?
Listen. I'm going downstairs.
I'm gonna clean out the safe. I'm taking the manager.
You keep an eye on all these guys, okay?
You! You're coming with me.
Come here. Go downstairs.
Let's go. You're coming with me.
- Don't you fucking move! Don't you fucking move!
♪ ♪
- Put the money in the bag.
All of it.
- All right, that's it.
- 186. Open 186, where the hundreds are in.
- How do you know that?
- Stop fucking around and open 186!
- Okay, okay.
- Close it up.
Come on. - Oh, my God!
- What the fuck happened?
The security guard and Sarah, they tried to jump me.
They were gonna kill me. They were trying to kill me.
I don't know. It all happened so fast,
and I just-- I freaked out.
And I just--I just-- I just started shooting,
and I shot everybody. - Laurie?
- Oh, fuck me. Jesus Christ!
- Oh, my God! - Shit!
- What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do, Bart?
- We didn't want anybody to see our faces, did we?
- No.
No!
Oh, my God!
Bart, Bart, what have we done?
What have we done? We've killed everybody.
We killed everyone.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- You hated these motherfuckers, right?
Right?
Well, you got even now.
- What about-- what about the customers?
They were just innocent bystanders.
- Collateral damage.
They were at the wrong place at the wrong time.
That's what happens, all right?
We got our million bucks right there.
We got our million dollars, right?
Right?
- I hope you don't mind me borrowing
the guard's gun from you.
Our story makes a lot more sense if you're shot with it.
- Fucking bitch!
- Sarah, you can get up now.
It's about fucking time.
Getting a leg cramp.
Do I want to eat the gun?
- What?
That sounded good. - I mean, really?
- Bart...
Bart, it's gonna take you a minute to bleed to death.
You want to hear how Sarah and I became lovers?
She was working late one night
and I knew she'd be alone.
- Trying out the boss' desk?
What are you still doing here?
- I thought we should talk.
- What are you doing?
- I feel your eyes on me every day.
I just thought you might want a better look.
You're just fucking crazy, Laurie.
- Is that why you're breathing so hard, Sarah?
- Ah. No.
I'm not... I'm not...
- Really? Then how come I can smell you getting wet?
I can't...
No, I--
No.
I've never done anything like--
Like this before.
- But you've wanted to, haven't you?
- Oh, oh...
Oh!
- Bet no man's ever made you come, have they?
- No.
They haven't.
Oh...Oh, God!
- You're mine now, aren't you?
- Abso-fuckin'-lutely.
- Good.
'Cause we're going to make a lot of money together.
- He's gone.
Just like a fucking man
to check out while I'm still talking.
- Mm-hmm.
- Look at all that beautiful money.
Your plan really worked, baby doll.
- Yeah, but we're not done yet, babe.
You remember what we have to do next, right?
- I erase the video recordings.
I trigger the alarm.
When the police get here, I tell them
that Bart robbed the bank alone.
He tried to kill us all,
but he missed me.
So I played possum.
Then I grabbed the guard's gun off the floor
and I shot him.
- With Bart's prison record,
he's going to be the perfect fall guy.
I'll see you back at my place?
We're rich, bitch.
- Oh, my God! Help me!
He killed everyone! Somebody do something!
He killed everyone! Help me!
He killed everyone!
Help me. Help me.
He killed everyone.
- Ma'am, calm down.
- Will you show me how to shoot?
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
- ♪ She's got a twinkle in both eyes ♪
♪ she's calculating ♪
♪ your demise ♪
♪ she covers up her lies with lies ♪
♪ ♪
♪ she's a bad girl ♪
♪ and that's why you want her ♪
♪ ♪
♪ that's why you want her ♪
- Kill, Ubu. Kill!
Good fish.