Good evening, aficionados of outdoor cooking.
I'm quite thrilled with my new barbecue.
It was rather inexpensive, but of course, I didn't take any of the extras.
I eschewed the heat indicator and temperature control,
the motor-driven spit, the glass-covered rotisserie,
the stainless steel side table,
the built-in blower, the warming oven,
the utensil rack, and the asbestos gloves.
I did buy the fire-starter, however.
I understand one rubs these together.
For buying the lighter, I received free a restaurant credit card.
I expect to have no trouble acquiring charcoal.
Since I have a fellow barbecuer
who makes it out of beef steaks.
I was given this amusing costume to wear.
Frankly, I've now lost my appetite completely.
Perhaps we should turn our attention to the play.
That cute kid out there.
Hi, boys. Hi, Ed.
All still working hard, I see.
Ed, lap your lip around a cold one?
Yeah.
What happened to you last week? Busy.
Busy? I'll bet he's been in jail.
The cops probably found out what he's carrying around in that car of his.
Why don't you shut that big mouth of yours, so I can see who it is?
No need of getting sore, Ed.
I got a new line of doozies, Ben.
No, I'm going to stick with them nickel Lucky Charlies.
Give me about a dozen of them.
A couple of them dime Jackpot Aces.
Come on, Ben, live it up.
Ah, here's one, a quarter, Lady of Love.
Should be hot.
Nah, I've been stuck with them quarter boards before.
They get them half punched out and nobody wants to finish them.
How about a couple of cards of these? You sell them for 50 cents.
Make yourself $4 clear.
Are you kidding?
Ain't nobody foolish enough to pay four bits for a key ring.
Heck, no. Not when you can buy 'em in town for a quarter.
Look through the hole at the top.
Hot diggity dog!
Are they all different? Yeah, they're all different.
But you gotta buy them if you wanna see them.
Wowee!
Hey, there's something nice for the kitchen, uh?
Hey, how can they pack all of that picture in that one little old ring?
Ed, I'll take a couple of these. What else you got in there?
Well, I, um, I got some new playing cards.
I'll take one.
One?
Well, one lousy pack of cards don't even pay me to pull off the road to see you.
Well, that's up to you. I didn't ask you to stop off here.
Well, maybe I'll think twice about it next time.
I'm going on over to Charles Creek,
maybe I can get me some real business over there.
Pa! Pa, come here quick!
Get in there! Get back. Get over there!
Get in there! Get in! Clay! Get back!
Pa!
Comanche got to him twice before I could get to a fork!
I warned Davy Comanche would get mean some day.
I'll shotgun that bull if Davy's hurt bad.
You drive the truck, Clay, we got to get Davy to a doctor.
Is he hurt bad, Pa? Horned twice, low down in the belly.
I can't stop it from bleeding.
Sam, hold your hand on the place, tight.
Charles Creek's nearest! Yeah.
Take it easy, Davy. Won't be long now till we get to a doctor.
Don't go taking it out on Comanche, Pa. It was my own fault.
A bull goes for a man once, he'll do it twice.
Clay! Clay! What's wrong?
Darn fool up ahead won't pull over.
Well, you've got to get round him somehow.
Who do you think you are? Own this stinking road?
Clay, you've got to get past him!
You've got to hurry!
Bunch of stupid farmers. Corn-picking yokels!
Aw, shut up!
Let us through! Emergency! There's been an accident!
So what? Ain't no skin off my nose!
That guy's only doing 10 miles an hour.
It's still eight miles to Charles Creek.
You got to go around him, Clay!
You just got to go ahead and do it.
If he'd just give me six more inches, I could make it.
Big shot, eh? Own the whole road.
Pull over! Pull over, you!
Tryin' to pass me, huh? Go ahead!
I couldn't help it, Pa.
That dirty skunk deliberately pulled over on me.
And I was scared of hurting Davy more. I know, son.
Do you want me to tote Davy into town, Pa?
It's too far, Sam. Too far.
How about the short cut across the pasture?
No, it would jolt Davy up too much all inside.
But we just can't stand here, Pa!
We're not.
We're going to build us a road right up out of this ditch with our own hands!
Come on! Get at it!
I'm sorry, Mr. Pine. Your son simply lost too much blood.
We were too late, eh?
Yeah, too late.
If we'd got Davy here, 15, 20 minutes sooner,
you could have saved him, Doctor?
Perhaps.
I'd say there'd have been a good chance.
Come out and say it, Doc.
Well, he would have gotten the transfusion in time
and probably been kept out of deep shock.
But you could have saved him?
Yes, I could have saved him.
I'm going to get the shotgun, Pa.
Davy wouldn't want you to use it on Comanche.
I'm not planning to use it on the bull.
I'm going with you, Sam, and we'll find that...
Quiet.
We'll find the man in the wagon.
We'll look for him till we find him.
But we're going to do it your Pa's way.
Tulip. Tulip!
What's the matter, Mr. Pine? You out of gas?
There was a station wagon here yesterday.
Must've left just before sundown.
You tell me who was driving it.
You must mean, uh...
Well, I get pretty good trade here.
I don't know of any particular station wagon.
Sure you know.
He pulled up here for gas. Right here.
Now just you hold on a minute.
Where do you come off coming in here asking me questions like that?
I'm asking you fair.
Now you tell me.
All right, it was Ed Fratus.
Yeah, must've been Ed Fratus.
Where will I find him?
Well, I don't know. He travels all over the state.
Peddles stuff from his car. Gets by here now and then.
I'll be back,
time he comes again.
Any of you men tells this Fratus I want to see him,
you'll have to answer to me.
Thank you, boys. Come in again now.
He gives me the creeps, he just sits there all day long, all the time.
Here's a cold one for you, Mr. Pine.
On me.
Howdy, Ed. Back again, huh?
Where do you think I am, Schenectady, New York?
Here's Ed Fratus, boys.
Well, I got some new stuff this time.
I'll bet it goes better than those key rings I gave you the last time you took 'em.
Did you get rid of all of them? Yes.
Sort of been waitin' for you, Ed.
Now we got him, Sam. I want to beat his head in.
Look, we agreed to do like Pa said.
How much you going to leave him? None.
All he'll have left is what's in the carburetor and fuel line.
That won't get him more than two, three miles.
We'll go back to the truck now and wait for Pa.
Oh, like I been saying, Ed.
With the weather and everything,
business just ain't been too good.
Now, listen, Ben, this new line I've been showing you is hot stuff.
I don't question that,
but my customers work hard for their money
and they spend it slow.
Bunch of nickel-squeezing oafs!
Maybe.
But let's just leave it that way, huh?
Just business, Ben, just business.
It costs me time and money to come by here, you know.
I got to do business to make it worth my while.
You drop by next week, huh?
Say, wait a minute, Ed.
I've been thinking about trading this in on a new model.
Got any new ones?
What's the matter?
Out of gas. How'd that happen?
I don't know. I had the tank filled up over in Prentisville.
The dirty crooks charged me for a full tank.
Probably just half-filled it.
Well, so happens I got a drum at my place, just west of here.
I'll pay you for it.
Clay, you get in the car with the man.
We'll push you.
One of my boys will fill your tank, Mister. Come on in the kitchen.
All right.
Sit down there and have a little something.
Clay.
Hold on!
It's all right.
I told you a dozen times not to put the liquor on that shelf.
Sorry, Pa.
A fellow from the Agricultural Extension Service,
he brought me a jug of poison to try out on my musk melons.
Ought to be able to tell the difference.
It don't have no taste or smell to it.
If a fellow were to drink it accidentally, he'd be dead in an hour,
if he didn't get to a doctor.
All right, Pa. I'll take it out to the barn.
See you do, or put the liquor somewhere else.
I filled the tank up, Pa. The motor started fine.
Well, what do I owe you? For the gas.
You don't owe me anything. Nothing at all, Mister...
Fratus.
Ed Fratus.
Fratus. I'm Sam Pine. These two boys are my sons.
This is young Sam. This is Clay.
Up to a week ago, there was another boy, Davy.
He was killed. That's too bad. What happened?
Bull gored him.
How awful.
I'd better take a walk and see what's wrong with him.
Would you like to see the bull, Mr. Fratus?
Uh-uh, not me. You ain't going to get me out there.
All right, Clay, you go out and see he's chained up good.
You look warm. Have some more of this, it'll cool you down a bit.
You ought to get rid of that bull.
Well, I did think some of putting a shotgun to him,
but it wouldn't have brought Davy back.
Besides, it wasn't really the bull that killed him.
Oh, it wasn't? What was it?
It was a hog.
A hog? Kind of hog.
You see, Davy was alive when we pulled him away from the bull.
He was hurt real bad, but he was alive.
We put him in the truck and started for Charles Creek.
A doctor could've saved him from bleeding to death.
Oh, what happened then?
We came on a man in a station wagon.
A station wagon with a broken tail lamp.
Clay signaled with the horn,
but the man wouldn't move over and let us pass.
Well, I got to be getting along.
Hear me out, Fratus.
He wouldn't pull over, he even slowed down.
And all the time, Davy was bleeding to death.
Clay's a good driver, he tried to pass,
but the man run us off the road,
deliberately,
into a ditch.
You know all about it, don't you, Fratus?
You don't know it was me.
Yes, I do.
You've proved it.
What are you going to do?
Well, you got no right...
I'm gonna get out of here and don't you try to stop me, either.
How many drinks did you have?
You did poison me.
You're not going to get away with it!
You said it'd be an hour. I'll get to a doctor.
The poison won't work for an hour!
I can get to Charles Creek!
I can get there in an hour!
You're not going to get away with it!
Hey, get that heap to one side and let me pass.
Howdy, Mr. Fratus. Real nice day.
Yes, sir. Real nice day.
You out for a ride, Mr. Fratus?
Out of the way, I'm in a hurry!
Oh? Business, huh?
I got to get to Charles Creek.
I got all day, Mr. Fratus.
Look, son, just pull over.
About half a foot.
Nice day to be alive.
Like Pa says, most people don't take time to enjoy it.
Don't stand there gabbing!
Let me by!
Well, that ain't no way to talk.
I got to get to a doctor!
Move over, son. Come on, be a good guy.
Look, I'll pay you!
I'll get by! You hear?
I'll get by if I have to push you off the road!
I'll get to Charles Creek, you clod-hopper!
Not you, or your father, or nobody going to stop me!
There's been a sort of sad accident down the road, Pa.
Seems Mr. Fratus up and got himself killed.
He was driving to Charles Creek.
Never did figure him as much of a driver.
You mustn't speak disrespectful of the dead, Sam.
Any dead.
That was a right smart story you made up about the County Agent, Pa.
'Specially as there never was no poison.
Come to think of it, no sense in wasting good liquor.
This concludes our entertainment for this evening.
You'll be pleased to know that I've solved my barbecue problem.
It involves burning down a barn each time you want roast lamb.
It's even better on those occasions
when I can get my guests into the barn, too.
Next time, I shall return with another story. Until then, good night.