Femme Fatales 02x04 Extracurricular Activites Original Air Date on June 15, 2012
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
[Suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
Jesus.
God, I think my heart just stopped.
You shouldn't sneak up on people like that.
Sorry, ma'am. Just doing my rounds.
You haven't seen anyone strange
walking around these halls, have you?
No.
Why?
A student was attacked earlier
on her way home from the library.
Oh, God. Is she okay?
Well, fortunately she managed to get away
and give us a description,
but we haven't caught the guy yet.
Well, what's he look like?
Oh, around 180 pounds,
dark, straight hair,
green eyes,
slight scar on his left cheek.
Well, I'll keep an eye out for him.
Now if you don't mind,
it's been a long day and I'm going home.
Don't be a naughty girl.
Do you know what happens to naughty girls?
Huh?
They need to be punished.
Yeah.
Come on, hit me.
Come on.
[Giggles]
[Slow rock music]
I've been a very bad girl.
♪ ♪
[Objects clatter]
You're such a strong security guard.
So there's a murderer loose?
Uhhuh.
♪ ♪
That was so hot.
Yes.
But you came off as a bit too educated.
I thought we agreed that you were gonna
play the security guard as more of a working-class thug.
You're giving me notes on my performance?
I just like things a certain way.
Honestly, if you were one of my students,
I would have taken off points for not following instructions.
You mean I failed Fantasy Sex 101?
No.
You passed.
I gave you extra credit for using this.
Nice touch.
Yeah, you know you can buy those at Wal-Mart, right?
But I had to pay cash.
Fiona goes through my credit card receipts
like an IRS auditor.
Can you not mention her name?
Look, I promise, I'm gonna leave her soon, okay?
We just have to be careful about it.
Okay, I've heard this speech before.
Well, you're the one that's always worried
about her finding out.
Because I don't want that bitch
to screw with my tenure.
Or yours.
Come here.
I have our whole future planned out together.
Okay?
It would just be so great if she wasn't around.
[Cell phone rings]
That's her now wondering where I am.
Why doesn't she just put a GPS on you?
Come on, let me walk you to your car.
Hey, I have an idea for next time.
Me, desperate housewife,
stalled Prius on a lonely road,
and you, escaped convict,
hasn't been with a woman in four years.
Email me your thoughts.
Like it.
[Upbeat music]
♪ ♪
♪ I've got my eye on you ♪
♪ and a motive too ♪
♪ you're foolin' around ♪
♪ is getting blood on my shoes ♪
♪ oh whoa oh ♪
♪ oh oh ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I've set my sights on you ♪
♪ I set my sights on you ♪
♪ I've set my sights on you ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I've got an alibi too ♪
♪ so don't look around ♪
♪ I've got nothing to lose ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
♪ oh oh ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
♪ oh oh ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
♪ ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
♪ oh oh ♪
♪ whoa oh ♪
[Gunshot]
When you're having an affair
with another woman's husband,
it's usually best not to do it directly under her nose.
Institutions of higher learning have always been a hotbed
of sexual activity--
teachers with teachers, students with students,
and the perennial favorite, teachers with students.
Professor Kelsey Williams is about to discover
that when you toy with an impressionable mind
to get what you want,
sometimes it proves impossible
to stick to the lesson plan.
[Giggles]
[Car alarm chirps]
See you later, Carolyn.
Honestly, I think you're being paranoid.
That's what Jake said when he came home last night.
I simply asked where he's been,
and he goes on the defensive.
Jake just doesn't strike me as the cheating type.
I'd bet money it's one of his students.
Well, they do tend to fawn all over him.
Well, whoever it is,
that bitch likes cheap perfume.
I smelled the lingering scent of it
when I tossed his shirt in the hamper.
[Gasps]
Bastard!
[Bell tolling]
"The teacher asked her student to stay after class.
"He was so nervous, and his palms were sweating.
"And when she asked him what was on his mind,
"he told her everything.
"How he couldn't stop thinking about her
"and dreamed about her, and had fantasies
"of doing nasty things with her.
"How he would do anything to be with her,
"even kill for her.
"He was so afraid she was going to say
"he was being stupid and send him away,
"but she didn't.
"So he reached out and touched her tits,
and she liked it."
Let's stop there.
Chas... it's a very creative piece,
but the assignment was to write about a real person.
But the person in my story is very real.
I meant a historical figure.
Why don't you come by here later on,
during the office hours.
I'll help you find a more appropriate subject.
Okay.
Troy, Kelly, you guys are up Thursday.
Class dismissed.
Professor Williams, do you have a moment?
I'd like to run my paper topic by you.
I've decided to write about Joan of Arc.
- Why? - Well...
I can't really think of a stronger woman
than Joan of Arc.
Please. She was insane.
She heard voices in her head,
and was burnt at the stake at 16.
If you want to write about a strong woman,
find someone who used their brains
to get what they wanted.
Someone like Cleopatra.
But Cleopatra didn't use her brains.
She used sex to get men to do her bidding.
She's far less noble than Joan of Arc.
That's where you're wrong.
Women throughout history
have had to use whatever resources were available
to take matters into their own hands
and get what they wanted.
Men have muscles, women... have their sexuality.
Cleopatra looked at her options at the time
and did what she had to do.
And that... took brains.
I never thought of it that way.
Well, there's a lot I could teach you.
By the way,
that's a lovely set you're wearing.
Dean Rutledge.
Kelsey.
I didn't ask you here to scold you, Chas.
You don't have to be so nervous.
I'm not nervous.
Okay.
Can I ask you a question?
What made you decide to take a women's studies course?
It fit my schedule.
Is that the only reason?
Some students were talking about your class.
I heard you were a good teacher.
I sound an awful lot like the woman in your story.
Are you gonna kick me out?
No.
I think I'll keep you around.
As long as you follow the assignment
precisely as I laid it out.
Okay.
You'll learn I like things a certain way.
I just can't tell you how disappointed I am in you both.
The two of you have always been campus leaders.
Right now I'm dealing with overcrowded classrooms,
tuition increases...
and the Cuesta Verde Conquistadors are going
0-12 this year. [Sighs]
The last thing I need on my plate
is a sorority sex tape scandal.
Girls! I can't get involved with this right now!
We are so mortified, Dean Rutledge.
Don't worry, we'll take care of it.
Good.
Now, I trust you ladies will handle this
with the high standards that I've instilled in you
in the last four years. Of course.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
- Dean Rutledge? - Kelsey.
I got your message.
Yes, I wanted to have a word with you.
I wanted you to know that we've zeroed in
on November 21 for the career fair.
And I'm looking for volunteers to help coordinate the event.
Well, you can count on me.
Good.
Is there... anything else?
No. That'll be all.
There is one more thing.
I want you to stop fucking my husband.
I don't know what you mean.
Let's not do this, shall we?
I know it's you.
I'm not surprised.
Jake always had a thing for the slutty sorority type.
And you certainly fit the bill.
Flouncing around campus like a ridiculous whore
with a penchant for cheap perfume.
You know, I don't have to take that from you.
Yes, you do.
Because you know I have it in my power
to destroy you... and I will...
with pleasure... if I even get a hint
that you are still seeing my husband behind my back.
Trust me, you won't be able to get a job
teaching kids how to tie their shoes.
Are we clear?
Close your mouth, Kelsey.
There's not a dick around as far as I can see.
Don't make me speak to you again.
Hey.
Hi.
I've been really impressed with your performance
in my class lately.
- Really? - Mm.
Uh...
I can be such a klutz.
I drop my keys all the time.
Are you studying?
Yeah, I, uh...
Decided to continue the story
that I was saying in class earlier.
You're quite the eager little student, aren't you?
I just think there's so much potential.
I thought I can expand on it and explore
some... options... with it.
If you're looking to learn,
there are some things that I can teach you.
Yeah.
I think... yeah.
Good.
Are you coming, Chas?
Relax, Chas.
I told you there's no reason
to be nervous around me.
[Nervous chuckle]
I'm not nervous.
I've just...
I've just been thinking about this moment
for a really long time.
I want to make sure I do it right.
I'm not grading you.
[Moans]
I love you... so fuckin' much.
I'll do anything for you.
Anything?
[Passionate moaning]
You get an "A."
Hey, darling, how are you?
How's your day?
So far so good. Yet, it's--it's...
You work so hard...
[Exhales]
What's wrong? Did I hurt you?
No.
I just can't stop thinking about Dean Rutledge.
How she threatened to fire me.
God, I can barely make ends meet as it is.
I'm here for you, baby.
I don't understand.
Why does she have it out for you so bad?
I don't know.
I've done nothing.
Well, there's gotta be some reason.
She's always been jealous of attractive women.
Especially ones who are younger than her.
She'd use anything against me.
But if she ever found out that I fell in love with a student...
You're in love with me?
From the first moment I saw you in my class.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
I'm gonna have to move away and find another job
before she blacklists me. You can't leave.
Well, I don't see what other choice I have, Chas.
Fuckin' bitch!
I won't let her do this to us.
Well, I don't know what else we can do.
And there's no way she's just gonna go away.
Don't be sad.
I'm sure you'll find somebody else.
No. I gotta go.
Wait... Chas, where are you going?
Hey, don't do anything rash.
I'm not losing you.
[Door opens]
It'll be all right. [Door shuts]
[Sighs]
Vera.
Vera?
[Stammers indistinctly]
Oh...
[Yelling] Help!
[Gasps]
Chas! I never meant for you to hurt anyone.
But I did...
It's what you wanted! What we both wanted.
To be together.
Yes, but--
You said you love me. And I love you.
Two people who are in love don't let anyone
keep them apart.
Right?
I don't deserve you.
Wait.
What's wrong?
Let's be smart about this.
We have to be extremely careful.
No one can know that we're involved with each other.
No one is gonna find out.
I've thought of everything.
You have nothing to worry about, babe.
Okay, but still, for appearances sake,
I think that it's best that we keep our distance.
No way. I can't live without you.
We can't risk raising any eyebrows.
Not, at least, until this whole thing blows over.
Chas, it's the only way.
If we don't play this just right,
you could go to prison.
And then we'll never be together.
All great love stories in history...
[Siren approaching] take a little time.
[Siren nearing, off]
- It's a misunderstanding. - Yeah, it always is.
I didn't do anything. I told you.
The D.A. says you're guilty.
I am completely innocent.
I have no idea what you're taking me away for.
I told you, I don't know anything...
Hi, Professor Williams.
What's happening?
Oh, you didn't hear?
They found evidence connecting him to his wife's murder.
- What evidence? - The murder weapon.
It was one of those night sticks that security guards use.
They found traces of the Dean's blood,
and the Professor's prints were all over it.
That's impossible.
He got it at Walmart.
Security camera footage showed him buying it
just days before the murder.
Funny, he doesn't look like a murderer to me.
What are you doing here?
I thought we agreed to stay away from each other.
We don't have to anymore.
They arrested the killer.
We're in the clear.
How did you know?
I'm not an idiot, you know.
When you love someone as much as I love you,
you tend to notice your object of affection
being distracted by someone else.
Honestly, I broke into his office
to find proof that you were cheating on me with him.
And then I found the perfect murder weapon.
You see, I didn't kill the Dean because she was gonna fire you
and keep us apart.
I killed her to frame her husband.
After all, he was really the one who would keep us apart.
Aah!
[Muffled grunts]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
I want you to leave.
Get out!
Babe, you said you wanted us to be together forever.
And I know how you like things done a certain way.
So I did everything exactly the way you wanted.
I never meant for you to frame Jake for murder.
He just would have come between us.
Now no one can keep us apart.
I can go to the police...
tell them what you did. You could.
But you won't.
How can you be so sure?
You know me.
And now you know what I'm capable of.
Feminine wiles can be a tricky thing.
When a woman uses sex to get what she wants,
she can easily turn a love-struck man
into a dangerous weapon.
Problem is, like any weapon,
sometimes it can be turned against us.
Unfortunately for Professor Kelsey Williams...
She told Chas everything she knows.
[Rock music]
♪ I'm gonna take a class ♪
♪ in school this fall ♪
♪ it's the coolest class ♪
♪ of them all ♪
♪ you're gonna bring the girl ♪
♪ in order to pass ♪
♪ and I'll bring you ♪
♪ to the lovin' class ♪
♪ I'll get an "A" in kissin' and holdin' you tight ♪
♪ I'll get an "A" in rockin' and dancin' all night ♪
♪ with you, pretty baby, I would just pass ♪
♪ we'll be the head of the lovin' class ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, lovin' class ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, lovin' class... ♪
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
[electrical buzzing] Kill, Ubu, kill.
[Electrical humming] Good fish.