1 00:00:00,308 --> 00:00:02,938 Man, this summer kickoff party's gonna be, like, 2 00:00:03,046 --> 00:00:05,615 mtv beach house throwback status. 3 00:00:05,682 --> 00:00:07,884 Daisy Fuentes's butt-cheeks are just gonna be flowing 4 00:00:07,951 --> 00:00:10,553 - in the wind. - Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay! 5 00:00:10,621 --> 00:00:11,854 - That wasn't racist, was it? - She had s--that's a good one. 6 00:00:11,922 --> 00:00:13,523 - It was a little. - Okay, well. 7 00:00:13,590 --> 00:00:15,424 - It was a little racist. - Hey, uh, dirk to blaze. 8 00:00:15,492 --> 00:00:17,860 Any sign of what's clogging the drain, my main man? 9 00:00:17,928 --> 00:00:19,595 Negative, dude. 10 00:00:19,663 --> 00:00:21,697 I do see a barbeque down here, though, 11 00:00:21,765 --> 00:00:24,934 and a suitcase full of your clothes. 12 00:00:25,002 --> 00:00:27,503 I'm almost to the drain. It's 2 meters. 13 00:00:27,571 --> 00:00:29,372 How's the air quality down there? 14 00:00:29,439 --> 00:00:31,374 It's okay, it's all right. 15 00:00:31,441 --> 00:00:34,510 But I could use a blow of the dro, sir. 16 00:00:34,578 --> 00:00:37,380 Blowing dro. 17 00:00:37,447 --> 00:00:39,882 He's blowing dro now. Over. 18 00:00:39,950 --> 00:00:43,319 I just blew the dro. Blew the dro. 19 00:00:43,387 --> 00:00:45,354 Hey, blaze, come on, man. 20 00:00:45,422 --> 00:00:47,123 Any sign of what's clogging the drain? 21 00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:49,892 That's affirmative. There's something... 22 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:54,730 Oh, my God, guys! 23 00:00:54,798 --> 00:00:59,468 You're not gonna believe this. 24 00:01:03,674 --> 00:01:05,841 ♪ I'm fresh 25 00:01:05,909 --> 00:01:07,510 ♪ You gotta you gotta ♪ 26 00:01:07,578 --> 00:01:11,480 - ♪ You gotta, gotta - ♪ Gotta be fresh 27 00:01:11,548 --> 00:01:16,252 Gentledudes, before you lies a fierce beast 28 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:19,155 known to suck the brains out of humans and goats, 29 00:01:19,222 --> 00:01:22,158 driven from their habitat during the construction 30 00:01:22,225 --> 00:01:24,660 of the Rancho Garden Mall in '98. 31 00:01:24,728 --> 00:01:26,862 Heck, the scientists thought they moved up north. 32 00:01:26,930 --> 00:01:29,565 But I had a different hypothesis. 33 00:01:29,633 --> 00:01:31,834 Looks like I was right. 34 00:01:31,902 --> 00:01:36,138 I give you... The Rancho Chupacabraj. 35 00:01:36,206 --> 00:01:38,407 No, that is definitely our neighbor mark's dog ambush. 36 00:01:38,475 --> 00:01:41,544 Covered in some of your hair and possibly jizz. 37 00:01:41,612 --> 00:01:44,914 Not mine, though. 38 00:01:48,285 --> 00:01:50,086 It's a Chupacabraj. 39 00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:52,822 I can't believe you're carrying around a dead animal. 40 00:01:52,889 --> 00:01:55,324 Well, I can't just leave this priceless artifact at home. 41 00:01:55,392 --> 00:01:57,560 What happens if, like, Nicolas cage rolls 44 00:02:02,065 --> 00:02:03,232 - We need some, like, pool toys. - Yes. 45 00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:04,533 Chicks are like cats, dude. 46 00:02:04,601 --> 00:02:06,268 If you don't keep their attention, 47 00:02:06,336 --> 00:02:09,338 they'll wait for--on-- on top of the refrigerator. 48 00:02:09,406 --> 00:02:10,906 - Yep. - Welcome, gentlemen, 49 00:02:10,974 --> 00:02:13,709 to Tez's summer blowout special. 50 00:02:13,777 --> 00:02:17,079 I got everything you need. Games for the Dreamcast, 51 00:02:17,147 --> 00:02:19,915 Playstation One, and free smoovies. 52 00:02:19,983 --> 00:02:22,251 'Cause white folks love smoovies. 53 00:02:22,319 --> 00:02:23,519 - Smoovies? - That's what I said. 54 00:02:23,587 --> 00:02:25,988 - Smoovies. - With a "v"? 55 00:02:26,056 --> 00:02:28,057 Smoothies! Wait, what do y'all want? 56 00:02:28,125 --> 00:02:30,660 We're actually looking for pool toys and whatnot 57 00:02:30,727 --> 00:02:32,261 - and what have you. - Pool toys. 58 00:02:32,329 --> 00:02:34,997 Let me check my inven-- you know what? 59 00:02:35,065 --> 00:02:37,500 Can I interest you boys in some straw cowboy hats? 60 00:02:37,567 --> 00:02:38,734 Oh, that's a great idea. 61 00:02:38,802 --> 00:02:40,369 Whenever chicks wear straw cowboy hats, 62 00:02:40,437 --> 00:02:43,706 they turn into sex cattle, man. And cowgirl butts... 63 00:02:43,774 --> 00:02:47,276 - Just get my thing hard. - Mm-hmm. 64 00:02:47,344 --> 00:02:49,078 Could you just show us to the pool supplies? 65 00:02:49,146 --> 00:02:50,446 All right, it's or this way, and-- 66 00:02:50,514 --> 00:02:53,082 Waymond, you touch it, you bought it. 67 00:02:53,150 --> 00:02:56,352 Come on. 68 00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:58,788 He has the Space Jam soundtrack. 69 00:02:58,855 --> 00:03:01,057 Whoa, dudes, check this out. 70 00:03:01,124 --> 00:03:04,193 Damn! 71 00:03:04,261 --> 00:03:05,895 - Aw, yeah. - What? 72 00:03:05,962 --> 00:03:07,697 That's the hover beast hovercraft. 73 00:03:07,764 --> 00:03:10,566 Colleen won that in a Tropicana bikini contest. 74 00:03:10,634 --> 00:03:14,270 150 horsepower engine. Four-blade warp drive prop. 75 00:03:14,337 --> 00:03:17,440 - And it's all yours for $500. - Dude. 76 00:03:17,507 --> 00:03:19,942 If we get this thing, man, it'll vault our party 77 00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:22,978 into the most awesomest maximus event of the summer. 78 00:03:23,046 --> 00:03:24,647 - Ah, brain freeze. - Montez Walker 79 00:03:24,715 --> 00:03:26,315 - on the invite list? - Never. 80 00:03:26,383 --> 00:03:30,419 How about I give you $200? 81 00:03:30,487 --> 00:03:32,221 Y'all talk about that. 82 00:03:32,289 --> 00:03:34,090 No, no, no, no, no. We can't spend that much money, 83 00:03:34,157 --> 00:03:35,925 because then we won't have enough money 84 00:03:35,992 --> 00:03:38,260 for the cowboy hats, and if we don't have cowboy hats, 85 00:03:38,328 --> 00:03:40,329 how am I gonna save a horse, ride a cowgirl? 86 00:03:40,397 --> 00:03:42,231 If we have a hovercraft, we don't need cowboy hats. 87 00:03:42,299 --> 00:03:44,133 - Yeah. - Hovercrafts are aphrodisiacs. 88 00:03:44,201 --> 00:03:45,634 They're basically... oysters of the ocean. 89 00:03:45,702 --> 00:03:47,369 Yummy. 90 00:03:47,437 --> 00:03:49,238 Yeah, I guess you're right. Plus, you know what? 91 00:03:49,306 --> 00:03:52,608 We could charge people money to ride on the hovercraft 92 00:03:52,676 --> 00:03:55,578 and also money to take pictures with the Chupacabraj. 93 00:03:55,645 --> 00:03:57,546 At this point now, we're making money. 94 00:03:57,614 --> 00:03:59,115 We're making money off our party. 95 00:03:59,182 --> 00:04:02,284 Guys, we could just buy it and return it next week. 96 00:04:02,352 --> 00:04:06,455 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I heard that. 97 00:04:06,523 --> 00:04:08,758 No refunds around here. 98 00:04:08,825 --> 00:04:12,495 - All sales final. - How did he hear that? 99 00:04:12,562 --> 00:04:15,498 $450, plus you throw in 100 00:04:15,565 --> 00:04:17,833 all the straw cowboy hats we can eat, and that's a deal. 101 00:04:17,901 --> 00:04:21,637 And whatever's in arm's reach. 102 00:04:21,705 --> 00:04:24,140 - And this--this suit. - Whoa, cool! 103 00:04:24,207 --> 00:04:25,407 - Sold! - Okay! 104 00:04:25,475 --> 00:04:26,976 - Yes! - But you be careful 105 00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:28,544 in that suit. It's powerful. 106 00:04:28,612 --> 00:04:30,446 It makes women just.... 107 00:04:30,514 --> 00:04:32,014 They just 108 00:04:32,082 --> 00:04:34,183 Waymond! Get over here and get a sendoff picture 109 00:04:34,251 --> 00:04:36,185 - like we at the Saturn dealer. - There we go. 110 00:04:36,253 --> 00:04:39,021 - All right. - Charge that to the game. 111 00:04:39,089 --> 00:04:41,257 Cool. 112 00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:42,691 All right, Ders, fire this puppy up. 113 00:04:42,759 --> 00:04:43,926 - Whoo! - You got it! 114 00:04:43,994 --> 00:04:45,194 Here we go. 115 00:04:45,262 --> 00:04:47,663 - Land-ho! - Ahoy! 116 00:04:49,266 --> 00:04:50,866 Oh, captain, this is going down! 117 00:04:50,934 --> 00:04:52,301 I don't like when your mom visits. 118 00:04:52,369 --> 00:04:53,702 She's always flirting with me. 119 00:04:53,770 --> 00:04:55,104 She's got those big titties like you. 120 00:04:55,172 --> 00:04:58,541 - No sale! - What in the [bleep] is going-- 121 00:04:58,608 --> 00:05:01,010 We want our $450 back, 122 00:05:01,077 --> 00:05:02,444 because the hovercraft you sold us 123 00:05:02,512 --> 00:05:04,313 catches fire way too easily. 124 00:05:04,381 --> 00:05:06,882 I told y'all no refunds. 125 00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:08,284 Ain't that right, way-way? 126 00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,452 - He heard me. - We don't want refunds. 127 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,454 We want our money back so we can buy a hovercraft 128 00:05:12,522 --> 00:05:13,689 that actually flies. 129 00:05:13,757 --> 00:05:14,957 - Mm-hmm. - In the water. 130 00:05:15,025 --> 00:05:16,592 - Wat--water flight. - Mm-hmm. 131 00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:18,460 Yeah, that's right. Our pool party's ruined. 132 00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:20,162 Now it's just guys with cowboy hats 133 00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:22,331 squirting each other. That's bad. 134 00:05:22,399 --> 00:05:24,500 - And? - Well... 135 00:05:24,568 --> 00:05:28,337 We'll sue you. We'll take everything you've got. 136 00:05:28,405 --> 00:05:30,072 - That's a really good idea. - Thanks. 137 00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:31,507 That's why he's the brains of the operation. 138 00:05:31,575 --> 00:05:33,309 You want to get judge Joe brown on it? 139 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,077 You want some judge Judy up your booty? 140 00:05:35,145 --> 00:05:36,612 You better lawyer up. 141 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,981 - You better lawyer up. - ♪ Lawyer up 142 00:05:39,049 --> 00:05:41,851 - ♪ You better lawyer up! - There's no lawyers 143 00:05:41,918 --> 00:05:43,652 - in small claims court. - What? 144 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,088 - Then lawyer down, okay? - Yeah, so lawyer down. 145 00:05:46,156 --> 00:05:48,357 You know what? We're gonna see you in court, man. 146 00:05:48,425 --> 00:05:50,092 - See you there. - No, we will. 147 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,727 - We'll see you in court. - Oh, well, bring it. 148 00:05:51,795 --> 00:05:52,995 Yeah, fine, we will bring it. 149 00:05:53,063 --> 00:05:54,430 - Fine, then. - Mm. 150 00:05:54,497 --> 00:05:56,198 Yo, what the [bleep] you did right there? 151 00:05:56,266 --> 00:05:57,666 That's my cactus! 152 00:05:57,734 --> 00:05:59,335 You want to go in the [bleep] garbage can? 153 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:00,870 - Sorry. - Sorry, jet set. 154 00:06:00,937 --> 00:06:02,605 We thought it was his cactus. We didn't know. 155 00:06:02,672 --> 00:06:04,406 Now y'all get out of my house. 156 00:06:04,474 --> 00:06:05,708 Have a good day. 157 00:06:05,775 --> 00:06:13,751 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 158 00:06:13,871 --> 00:06:15,105 Move it along, people. 159 00:06:15,172 --> 00:06:17,007 We got a big-time lawyer coming through. 160 00:06:17,074 --> 00:06:18,441 Guys, I applied to law school. 161 00:06:18,509 --> 00:06:20,143 I didn't even get accepted anywhere. 162 00:06:20,211 --> 00:06:22,579 Well, that's not true. You got accepted in our hearts. 163 00:06:22,646 --> 00:06:25,615 No homo, pro bono. That's a lawyer term, right? 164 00:06:25,683 --> 00:06:27,617 I'm gonna say it again. I have no idea. 165 00:06:27,685 --> 00:06:29,352 I don't know. I don't know. 166 00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,187 I don't understand how you don't know, 167 00:06:31,255 --> 00:06:33,823 because you've seen every episode of Franklin & Bash. 168 00:06:33,891 --> 00:06:35,325 - Who hasn't? - That's true. 169 00:06:35,393 --> 00:06:36,760 That's a good show. Really good show. 170 00:06:36,827 --> 00:06:39,829 Ders, you have a briefcase. Use that. 171 00:06:39,897 --> 00:06:41,498 I do have a briefcase. 172 00:06:41,565 --> 00:06:44,267 We bought a hovercraft for a party that we can't have. 173 00:06:44,335 --> 00:06:45,769 You know how sad that makes me? 174 00:06:45,836 --> 00:06:49,739 - Lawyer the sadness away. - I will, man. 175 00:06:49,807 --> 00:06:53,109 - This your bag? - Uh, yes, sir, it is. 176 00:06:53,177 --> 00:06:54,677 - That was salty. - I'm gonna have to search it. 177 00:06:54,745 --> 00:06:57,247 Oh, uh, yeah, go ahead. 178 00:06:57,314 --> 00:06:59,516 - Sure, yeah, of course. - Oh, damn! 179 00:06:59,583 --> 00:07:01,584 Yeah, pretty freaky, right? It's a, uh-- 180 00:07:01,652 --> 00:07:03,920 It's actually a Rancho Chupacabraj. 181 00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:06,656 Uh, but I have to take it with me. It's evidence in a... 182 00:07:06,724 --> 00:07:12,195 Uh...well, a--a dude having sex with a Chupacabraj case, so... 183 00:07:12,263 --> 00:07:14,097 - Get out of here. - All right. 184 00:07:14,165 --> 00:07:16,099 - Thanks, sir. - He found it covered in jizz. 185 00:07:16,167 --> 00:07:18,935 We're not sure what--animal jizz or human jizz, we're not sure. 186 00:07:23,574 --> 00:07:25,041 You've all been sworn in. 187 00:07:25,109 --> 00:07:26,776 Gentlemen, I've read your complaint. 188 00:07:26,844 --> 00:07:29,345 Do you have anything to add other than your claim 189 00:07:29,413 --> 00:07:30,980 of boat fraud in the first degree, 190 00:07:31,048 --> 00:07:33,750 which I'd like to point out is not real thing? 191 00:07:33,818 --> 00:07:35,685 Well, we're here to prove that it is, your honor. 192 00:07:35,753 --> 00:07:38,421 If I may, I'm gonna stand. 193 00:07:38,489 --> 00:07:40,490 I'd like to, uh, address the jury here. 194 00:07:40,558 --> 00:07:43,793 Uh, plaintiff, uh, this isn't a jury trial. 195 00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:45,095 They're here awaiting their cases. 196 00:07:45,162 --> 00:07:47,197 - These people? - Uh-huh. 197 00:07:47,264 --> 00:07:49,199 Thank you, judge Tibbles. 198 00:07:49,266 --> 00:07:51,101 Ladies and gentlemen of the esteemed court, 199 00:07:51,168 --> 00:07:54,037 two dudes with some bodacious ponytails. 200 00:07:54,105 --> 00:07:56,773 - 22 inches and counting. - Dude. 201 00:07:56,841 --> 00:07:58,808 This is 19 inches. It's longer than yours. 202 00:07:58,876 --> 00:08:00,110 - No, it's not. - I measured it 203 00:08:00,177 --> 00:08:01,544 - from the base up here. - I measured it 204 00:08:01,612 --> 00:08:03,012 from the top of my forehead. 205 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,816 I have but one word: 206 00:08:06,884 --> 00:08:10,286 "Justice." Right? 207 00:08:10,354 --> 00:08:12,388 Just. Us. 208 00:08:12,456 --> 00:08:14,524 It's just us on this planet earth. 209 00:08:14,592 --> 00:08:16,526 We're alone, so... 210 00:08:16,594 --> 00:08:18,795 We need to trust each other. 211 00:08:18,863 --> 00:08:22,365 Trust. Us. 212 00:08:22,433 --> 00:08:24,634 Rhymes, so you know that it's real. 213 00:08:24,702 --> 00:08:28,338 Which brings me to the question... 214 00:08:28,405 --> 00:08:31,007 Are we human... 215 00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:34,144 Or are we dancers? 216 00:08:34,211 --> 00:08:35,979 Plaintiff, is there any additional evidence 217 00:08:36,046 --> 00:08:37,847 besides the defective hovercraft? 218 00:08:37,915 --> 00:08:39,549 No, but look, I was having a good time. 219 00:08:39,617 --> 00:08:41,718 The problem is that this guy sold us a bunk hovercraft, 220 00:08:41,785 --> 00:08:43,486 and now we're gonna have a sausage fest 221 00:08:43,554 --> 00:08:45,488 with no bikinis and no straw cowboy hats, 222 00:08:45,556 --> 00:08:47,056 and I don't think you're being fair. 223 00:08:47,124 --> 00:08:48,625 This isn't fair. 224 00:08:48,692 --> 00:08:51,161 Mr. Walker, how do you respond to the accusation? 225 00:08:51,228 --> 00:08:55,665 Your honor, I know your time is valuable, so I will be brief. 226 00:08:55,733 --> 00:08:58,701 Um, this here is a textbook witch hunt-- 227 00:08:58,769 --> 00:09:01,971 - How's he sound so real? - That will clearly exonerate me 228 00:09:02,039 --> 00:09:05,475 from all these prejudicious and unfair charges. 229 00:09:05,543 --> 00:09:07,110 This isn't a race thing, sir. 230 00:09:07,178 --> 00:09:08,778 - May I approach the bench? - Proceed. 231 00:09:08,846 --> 00:09:10,547 - He knows exactly... - You're dumb. 232 00:09:10,614 --> 00:09:13,716 Your honor, as you can see, in nine separate locations, 233 00:09:13,784 --> 00:09:17,187 in accordance with our great law, is my signs. 234 00:09:17,254 --> 00:09:19,689 Ders, why aren't you using the briefcase? 235 00:09:19,757 --> 00:09:21,224 There's nothing inside the briefcase 236 00:09:21,292 --> 00:09:23,560 except for golf pencils and baseball cards, 237 00:09:23,627 --> 00:09:25,228 and slim Jim dare. 238 00:09:25,296 --> 00:09:27,063 Slim Jim dare really freaking hot beef jerky, 239 00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:28,798 and you didn't give us any of that. 240 00:09:28,866 --> 00:09:30,300 This is the jalapeno kind, and you didn't give-- 241 00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:31,968 - You didn't even think-- - Gentlemen, please. 242 00:09:32,036 --> 00:09:35,305 This is a court of law. It's not a feeding trough. 243 00:09:35,372 --> 00:09:37,874 I had one. I had--this one was out. 244 00:09:37,942 --> 00:09:40,376 - I just--okay. - No, no, dude, dude, come on. 245 00:09:40,444 --> 00:09:41,878 I think you're making a very good case here. 246 00:09:41,946 --> 00:09:43,913 Okay, Ders's lawyering didn't work, 247 00:09:43,981 --> 00:09:47,150 so it's time for me to do some liar-ing. 248 00:09:47,218 --> 00:09:50,019 - I'm gonna lie. - Oh, cool. 249 00:09:50,087 --> 00:09:51,921 Your honor, 250 00:09:51,989 --> 00:09:56,025 I do declare that we have a star witness 251 00:09:56,093 --> 00:09:59,662 that we would like to call to the stand. 252 00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:03,533 - To the what? - To the stand. 253 00:10:03,601 --> 00:10:04,767 I don't understand the word you're saying. 254 00:10:04,835 --> 00:10:07,237 To the stand, to the stand. 255 00:10:07,304 --> 00:10:09,572 And we all were just screaming, "Montez, stop," 256 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,775 and he just continued to squeeze the life 257 00:10:12,843 --> 00:10:15,044 out of the poor little girl scout's dalmatian. 258 00:10:15,112 --> 00:10:18,281 - It was--it was disgusting. - What? 259 00:10:18,349 --> 00:10:20,516 - Can we get back to the case? - Your honor. 260 00:10:20,584 --> 00:10:22,852 We are just here to tell the truth, the whole truth, 261 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,021 and nothing but the truth about a vile 262 00:10:25,089 --> 00:10:28,524 and disgusting man who was trying to ruin our party. 263 00:10:28,592 --> 00:10:30,693 Could you use your regular voice, please? 264 00:10:30,761 --> 00:10:32,195 This young lady 265 00:10:32,263 --> 00:10:33,963 knows where I'm coming from, 266 00:10:34,031 --> 00:10:36,599 - don't you, doll? - Huh? 267 00:10:36,667 --> 00:10:38,268 Do you like pool parties, miss? 268 00:10:38,335 --> 00:10:39,602 Yeah. 269 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:41,704 And are you available this Saturday, 270 00:10:41,772 --> 00:10:45,942 and may I remind you you are under oath? 271 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:49,045 I guess I don't have any plans. 272 00:10:49,113 --> 00:10:50,647 Can we get back to the case please? 273 00:10:50,714 --> 00:10:52,315 Your honor, I'm just making sure 274 00:10:52,383 --> 00:10:55,852 that everybody in here is being truthful, 275 00:10:55,919 --> 00:11:00,323 such as myself holding on to my nine-inch lap-hog, 276 00:11:00,391 --> 00:11:05,028 which must be a true thing since I am also under oath. 277 00:11:05,095 --> 00:11:07,096 Uh, yeah, we all have really big dongs. 278 00:11:07,164 --> 00:11:08,998 - I swear on a stack of bibles. - My dick's big. 279 00:11:09,066 --> 00:11:12,268 I believe we've had enough lap-hog talk for one lifetime. 280 00:11:12,336 --> 00:11:14,003 I'm sorry, your honor. Did you guys see 281 00:11:14,071 --> 00:11:17,173 the "No refund" signs at the garage sale, or no? 282 00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:18,708 I certainly did not see a sign-- 283 00:11:18,776 --> 00:11:21,844 - That is a lie! - I should warn you gentlemen 284 00:11:21,912 --> 00:11:24,514 that perjury laws are swift and severe. 285 00:11:24,581 --> 00:11:27,884 Mm-hmm, swift willy style, all in there. 286 00:11:27,951 --> 00:11:29,619 You may sit down. 287 00:11:29,687 --> 00:11:31,521 Does the defense have any response? 288 00:11:31,588 --> 00:11:34,457 Yes, I do. I also have a star witness 289 00:11:34,525 --> 00:11:35,892 who can prove beyond a reasonable doubt 290 00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:37,727 that these sucker-necks are lying. 291 00:11:37,795 --> 00:11:41,731 Defense calls Waymond Womano. 292 00:11:41,799 --> 00:11:43,333 Oh, [bleep], this is bad. 293 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,001 He saw everything. We can't let him testify. 294 00:11:45,069 --> 00:11:46,703 If he testifies, we're gonna go to jail for perjury. 295 00:11:46,770 --> 00:11:49,739 - You should've told me that. - I thought you knew. 296 00:11:49,807 --> 00:11:52,308 I choose to accept this mission. 297 00:11:52,376 --> 00:11:54,210 Uh... 298 00:11:58,649 --> 00:12:01,050 State your name for the court record, please. 299 00:12:01,118 --> 00:12:02,985 What the heck's that? 300 00:12:05,689 --> 00:12:07,023 What the... 301 00:12:07,091 --> 00:12:08,257 What the hell? 302 00:12:08,325 --> 00:12:10,059 Court is adjourned till tomorrow. 303 00:12:10,127 --> 00:12:11,994 Yeah. 304 00:12:12,062 --> 00:12:14,764 Adjourning's the best. Obviously we're adjourning 305 00:12:14,832 --> 00:12:16,766 'cause you have rats in your vents. 306 00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:18,067 That's the first smart thing you done all day. 307 00:12:18,135 --> 00:12:19,502 You're at the courthouse. 308 00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:21,371 Y'all slick, you're real slick. 309 00:12:21,438 --> 00:12:22,939 I know y'all threw that dookie bag. 310 00:12:23,006 --> 00:12:25,441 But we back tomorrow, and Waymond is pissed. 311 00:12:25,509 --> 00:12:27,510 You messed up his church shoes, and look at my good suit. 312 00:12:27,578 --> 00:12:29,078 How about we settle out of court? 313 00:12:29,146 --> 00:12:30,580 You know, we'll take you to Ruby Tuesday's, 314 00:12:30,647 --> 00:12:32,382 we'll buy you a root-beer and a burger. 315 00:12:32,449 --> 00:12:34,484 The only thing y'all gonna be eating is ass salad. 316 00:12:34,551 --> 00:12:37,720 Talking about prison for in and around 30 days. 317 00:12:37,788 --> 00:12:39,255 Good luck. 318 00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:41,057 Oh, man, we're going to jail, 319 00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:44,060 and I never got to Eiffel Tower a chick with one of you guys. 320 00:12:44,128 --> 00:12:45,628 We're not gonna go to jail if Waymond doesn't testify. 321 00:12:45,696 --> 00:12:46,996 Oh, we're eating ass salad, man. 322 00:12:47,064 --> 00:12:49,732 I'm gonna ha a big bowl of ass salad. 323 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,268 You heard Tez. Waymond's snitching tomorrow. 324 00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,771 Not we get to him tonight. 325 00:13:07,184 --> 00:13:08,718 Shut up, stay right there! 326 00:13:08,786 --> 00:13:10,987 - And drive! - Whoops! Hey! 327 00:13:11,054 --> 00:13:13,022 Don't talk though. Don't talk though. 328 00:13:18,348 --> 00:13:21,083 Waymond Womano, we can't be responsible 329 00:13:21,151 --> 00:13:23,290 for what happens if you show up in court tomorrow. 330 00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:27,790 But we can be very responsible if you-- 331 00:13:27,858 --> 00:13:29,826 if you don't...do that. 332 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:33,029 Yeah, stick your hand in this bag. 333 00:13:33,097 --> 00:13:36,933 Do it! You feel that? Those are the eyeballs of kids 334 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,601 that we plucked out of their heads! 335 00:13:38,669 --> 00:13:40,803 And this? This is intestines. 336 00:13:40,871 --> 00:13:42,371 No, Blake. We're, uh-- 337 00:13:42,439 --> 00:13:45,475 Dude #1, we told you he's not blindfolded. 338 00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:48,377 He's not blindfolded. He can see that it's spaghetti. 339 00:13:48,445 --> 00:13:52,949 Well, this is spaghetti that a dude was eating, 340 00:13:53,016 --> 00:13:55,384 - but we killed him. - Yeah! 341 00:13:55,452 --> 00:13:56,986 And we'll kill you too. 342 00:13:57,054 --> 00:13:59,789 - Yeah, we killed his ass. - Are you ready to die? 343 00:13:59,857 --> 00:14:01,157 Oh, that's the game you want to play? 344 00:14:01,225 --> 00:14:02,959 - Oh, okay. - Dig your own grave, bud. 345 00:14:03,026 --> 00:14:04,594 Yeah, dig the fricking grave, 346 00:14:04,661 --> 00:14:07,130 you marshmallow-looking mother. 347 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,635 - What? - Heh, heh... 348 00:14:12,703 --> 00:14:14,937 - Little help? - Oh. 349 00:14:15,005 --> 00:14:16,339 - Just throw--hurry up. - Yeah. 350 00:14:16,406 --> 00:14:18,174 - Go falcons! - Thank you. 351 00:14:18,242 --> 00:14:20,243 Hey, nice arm. 352 00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:23,179 It's a shovel, not a broom. 353 00:14:23,247 --> 00:14:25,114 - Come on, jeez. - That's what you got? 354 00:14:25,182 --> 00:14:27,950 Harder. He's throwing it on his shoe--shoes. 355 00:14:28,018 --> 00:14:30,786 You really suck at this. He sucks at this. 356 00:14:30,854 --> 00:14:32,655 Jesus Christ, you're horrible. 357 00:14:32,723 --> 00:14:34,090 I'm actually not very good either. 358 00:14:34,158 --> 00:14:35,324 Well, you're holding the spaghetti. 359 00:14:35,392 --> 00:14:37,260 We told you not to bring the spaghetti. 360 00:14:37,327 --> 00:14:38,461 I'm gonna go get some more shovels. 361 00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:39,962 Yeah. 362 00:14:40,030 --> 00:14:41,664 I'm actually really proud of us, guys. 363 00:14:41,732 --> 00:14:43,099 This hole is freaking impressive. 364 00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:45,601 - It's crazy. - Whoa, dude, look, 365 00:14:45,669 --> 00:14:47,470 you're gonna kill yourself if you don't start lifting 366 00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,105 with your body instead of your arm muscles. 367 00:14:49,173 --> 00:14:51,107 Well, my arm muscles are my body, Ders. 368 00:14:51,175 --> 00:14:53,075 In fact, I think they're most of it. 369 00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:55,111 I think we can all agree that the most important thing 370 00:14:55,179 --> 00:14:56,846 to do is come from the top here. 371 00:14:56,914 --> 00:14:58,147 - Yeah. - Because all the leverage 372 00:14:58,215 --> 00:14:59,415 when you're going--ow! 373 00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:00,483 - Aah! - Wait, what happened? 374 00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:02,251 - I think... - What happened? 375 00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:04,153 - Splinter. - Oh, yeah, yeah. 376 00:15:04,221 --> 00:15:06,189 That's painful, that's painful, that's very painful. 377 00:15:06,256 --> 00:15:08,090 Waymond? Waymond? Wait, Waymond! 378 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:09,825 - Waymond! - Waymond! 379 00:15:09,893 --> 00:15:13,796 Waymond, wait, wait! Maybe we went too far! 380 00:15:13,864 --> 00:15:16,032 Uh, we were just trying to scare you out of testifying. 381 00:15:16,099 --> 00:15:17,500 It's us, the bull[bleep] boys! 382 00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:19,769 Well, we shouldn't have let him wait 383 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,505 - in the car to get warm. - Really boner move on our part. 384 00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:24,340 Yeah, now we're gonna go to prison for perjury. 385 00:15:24,408 --> 00:15:26,142 - And liar-ing even. - Oh, man. 386 00:15:26,210 --> 00:15:30,479 Hot dudes like us do not do well in prison, guys. 387 00:15:30,547 --> 00:15:34,150 We are like three fresh meat butt sticks just waiting 388 00:15:34,218 --> 00:15:37,587 - for a dry rub. - Oh, God, Blake's right. 389 00:15:37,654 --> 00:15:39,922 His American Idol hairdo, your norse-ness. 390 00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:43,459 My pecs, my hammies. My gluts, man! 391 00:15:43,527 --> 00:15:45,261 They're just waiting for a good dicking. 392 00:15:45,329 --> 00:15:47,196 - Oh, we're gonna get pounded. - Maybe, like, 393 00:15:47,264 --> 00:15:48,831 over time, it, like-- it gets okay. 394 00:15:48,899 --> 00:15:50,833 It's just skin after all, right? 395 00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:52,501 - What? - I don't know. 396 00:15:52,569 --> 00:15:54,503 I'm just trying to be, like, a "glass half full" guy. 397 00:15:54,571 --> 00:15:57,406 You're gonna have an ass half full of prison [bleep]. 398 00:15:57,474 --> 00:15:58,641 So what should we do right now? 399 00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:00,109 Should we go get hamburgers? 400 00:16:00,177 --> 00:16:02,111 Eat a bunch of hamburgers right now and get fat? 401 00:16:02,179 --> 00:16:04,380 So the dudes won't want to butt-fun us? 402 00:16:04,448 --> 00:16:05,948 - We'll get fat, we'll get ugly. - We have to beat the pretty 403 00:16:06,016 --> 00:16:07,516 out of each other. 404 00:16:07,584 --> 00:16:09,652 All right, well, how do we go about doing that? 405 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,321 I don't know. What do you say, we count to three, 406 00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:14,824 and all, like, just punch each other, same time? 407 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,325 - To the right? - Yeah, to the right. 408 00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:18,066 I don't want to call you guys bitches, 409 00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:20,957 but you guys are bitches. 410 00:16:21,077 --> 00:16:22,377 You're bitches. 411 00:16:22,497 --> 00:16:25,027 You guys wouldn't be able to hurt me, my face is very hard. 412 00:16:25,147 --> 00:16:28,584 Growing up, all the bullies were, like, "Holy [bleep], man. 413 00:16:28,651 --> 00:16:29,985 - Your face so hard." - Right. 414 00:16:30,053 --> 00:16:31,291 "It hurts my hand when I punch." 415 00:16:31,411 --> 00:16:33,153 I need something much harder to hit it. 416 00:16:33,273 --> 00:16:36,791 - Whoa! Uh... - Dude, whoa. 417 00:16:36,911 --> 00:16:38,627 - You want me to blast you? - No, no, no. 418 00:16:38,672 --> 00:16:40,406 Let's just, uh, we'll tell him we fought. 419 00:16:40,474 --> 00:16:41,640 - No, yeah, good--good call. - You all right, man? 420 00:16:41,708 --> 00:16:42,908 Adam, Adam, you okay? 421 00:16:42,976 --> 00:16:44,343 - Adam. - Sorry. 422 00:16:44,411 --> 00:16:47,313 Come on, okay, oh... 423 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,681 Did I get you? Did I get you good? 424 00:16:48,749 --> 00:16:50,116 - Did I get you good? - Uh, no. 425 00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:52,651 But Ders got me a-- a cracked rib for sure. 426 00:16:52,719 --> 00:16:54,620 We fought, and, uh, Blake curbed me. 427 00:16:54,688 --> 00:16:55,855 - Just destroyed my face. - Yeah, twice. 428 00:16:55,922 --> 00:16:58,090 I can see that. I can see that. 429 00:16:58,158 --> 00:16:59,592 You look bad, dude. You look bad. 430 00:16:59,659 --> 00:17:01,193 - Okay, let's-- - You look bad, dude. 431 00:17:01,261 --> 00:17:02,828 - This way. - This--yeah. 432 00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:04,738 - Let's go home. - Whoo! 433 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,851 Oh, great, the sun's coming up soon. 434 00:17:06,971 --> 00:17:09,220 Guess we'll be walking straight to the courthouse. 435 00:17:17,156 --> 00:17:19,057 Hey, guys, when the judge reads our sentences, 436 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,226 - just don't cry. - Yeah, definitely. 437 00:17:21,293 --> 00:17:22,727 Band of brajs, we got this. 438 00:17:22,795 --> 00:17:24,304 Does it smell like burnt tires in here? 439 00:17:24,580 --> 00:17:25,847 Smell, like, a little like something's burning? 440 00:17:25,915 --> 00:17:27,315 - No. - Nice of you 441 00:17:27,383 --> 00:17:29,317 - to join us, gentlemen. - Sorry, your honor, 442 00:17:29,385 --> 00:17:32,487 but took a one-and-a-half in my pants on the elevator. 443 00:17:32,555 --> 00:17:34,656 Yes, that, uh, definitely happened, 444 00:17:34,724 --> 00:17:36,658 but we won't bother you with our whole morning. 445 00:17:36,726 --> 00:17:38,360 - No, uh... - That's why we're late, 446 00:17:38,428 --> 00:17:39,828 'cause I-I-I [bleep] and pissed my pants-- 447 00:17:39,896 --> 00:17:42,297 - Adam, don't. 448 00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:43,665 We're ready to take responsibility 449 00:17:43,733 --> 00:17:46,301 for whatever Waymond told you we did. 450 00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,804 Before Mr. Womano testifies, I understand that he has 451 00:17:48,871 --> 00:17:52,240 some physical evidence that may be pertinent to this case. 452 00:17:52,308 --> 00:17:54,376 I got pictures of y'all in front of my signs. 453 00:17:54,444 --> 00:17:57,045 You gonna fry. Some ass salad. 454 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:07,756 I mean... 455 00:18:07,824 --> 00:18:11,526 Whoo, wow, I'm hairy. 456 00:18:11,594 --> 00:18:13,195 I fail to see the relevance of any of this. 457 00:18:13,262 --> 00:18:15,697 Sir, my wife Colleen is taking a photography class 458 00:18:15,765 --> 00:18:18,667 at the learning annex and she needed a sexy model, so... 459 00:18:18,734 --> 00:18:20,102 Just move ahead at your discretion. 460 00:18:20,169 --> 00:18:23,338 Oh, bam! There it is! 461 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:26,108 Well, would you look at that? Seems like Mr. Walker's 462 00:18:26,175 --> 00:18:28,009 been telling the truth the whole time. 463 00:18:28,077 --> 00:18:30,612 Oh, this one has a little "play" icon in the corner. 464 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,981 Shall I play it and see what we can surmise from this? 465 00:18:35,685 --> 00:18:39,254 Did you see Monteezy work his magic? 466 00:18:39,322 --> 00:18:41,389 I sold these fools a broke-ass hovercraft. 467 00:18:41,457 --> 00:18:44,292 That's what they get for never inviting me to their parties. 468 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,895 Now let's go get some tacos and free smoothies. 469 00:18:46,963 --> 00:18:48,363 You're killing me, Waymond! 470 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,799 After reviewing the evidence, 471 00:18:50,867 --> 00:18:53,969 the court finds in favor of the plaintiffs. 472 00:18:54,036 --> 00:18:56,471 The defendant is ordered to pay repair costs 473 00:18:56,539 --> 00:18:58,039 in their entirety. 474 00:18:58,107 --> 00:19:00,275 Did you just see the video? 475 00:19:00,343 --> 00:19:02,477 You won, gentlemen. 476 00:19:02,545 --> 00:19:05,280 - What? Oh! - We won? 477 00:19:05,348 --> 00:19:06,548 - Whoo! - We did it! 478 00:19:06,616 --> 00:19:09,317 Whoo, we won! We won! 479 00:19:09,385 --> 00:19:12,554 Whoo, this party sucks! 480 00:19:12,622 --> 00:19:16,124 All right, a maniac, I like it, very cool. 481 00:19:16,192 --> 00:19:19,127 Hey, don't be shy, dudes. Come on up and take a picture 482 00:19:19,195 --> 00:19:22,731 with the picture of the Rancho Chupacabraj. 483 00:19:22,798 --> 00:19:24,466 Come on, we got one picture for $10, 484 00:19:24,534 --> 00:19:27,402 two pictures for $5, so.... 485 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,405 Just take two. Two. It's a cheaper deal. 486 00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:32,841 Yo, blaze, any day now. 487 00:19:32,909 --> 00:19:34,476 - Oh, yeah. - Hey, guys, 488 00:19:34,544 --> 00:19:36,278 I just want to, uh, take this opportunity 489 00:19:36,345 --> 00:19:39,648 to say welcome to our premier beach house party of the summer! 490 00:19:39,715 --> 00:19:42,284 Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! 491 00:19:42,351 --> 00:19:44,019 Okay, you guys don't seem amped, and I get that. 492 00:19:44,086 --> 00:19:46,254 It's about 98% to 99% dudes here. 493 00:19:46,322 --> 00:19:48,290 - It's mostly dudes. - Yeah. 494 00:19:48,357 --> 00:19:51,626 That's okay, though, 'cause once this bitch gets soaring, 495 00:19:51,694 --> 00:19:53,662 - it's gonna be a chick stampede. - That's right. 496 00:19:53,729 --> 00:19:55,430 Let's take off those straw cowboy hats, though, 497 00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:56,831 'cause those are for the chicks. 498 00:19:56,899 --> 00:19:58,333 - Hey, look! - Oh! Oh! 499 00:19:58,401 --> 00:20:00,202 - Hey, come in! - No, no. 500 00:20:00,269 --> 00:20:02,537 - Yeah, yeah, she's with me. - Let's go, let's go. 501 00:20:02,605 --> 00:20:05,106 [Bleep] this. 502 00:20:15,751 --> 00:20:17,619 - Aah! - Oh... 503 00:20:17,687 --> 00:20:19,287 That was not our fault. 504 00:20:19,355 --> 00:20:20,722 - Oh, fudge. - That's not our fault. 505 00:20:20,790 --> 00:20:22,791 Oh, my God. Are you--are you boys okay? 506 00:20:22,858 --> 00:20:24,826 Yeah, if you mean almost getting decapitated 507 00:20:24,894 --> 00:20:28,129 by your sharp-ass fence, then yeah. Ow! Ow! 508 00:20:28,197 --> 00:20:30,198 Why is your fence so sharp, dude? 509 00:20:30,266 --> 00:20:33,635 Are you kidding? You just drove a boat through my yard. 510 00:20:33,703 --> 00:20:35,670 Well, we'll just have to see how that holds up 511 00:20:35,738 --> 00:20:37,572 -in small claims court. - Whoo! 512 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:42,010 Yeah, that's right. You better lawyer down, sir. 513 00:20:42,078 --> 00:20:44,045 I am a lawyer. And with this kind of damage, 514 00:20:44,113 --> 00:20:45,782 I'm gonna bring you to big boy court. 515 00:20:46,107 --> 00:20:49,417 Well, then, [bleep], sir. 516 00:20:49,485 --> 00:20:51,319 Nice. 517 00:20:55,668 --> 00:21:05,962 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com