1 00:00:01,988 --> 00:00:04,618 Man, this summer kickoff party's gonna be, like, 2 00:00:04,726 --> 00:00:07,295 MTV Beach House throwback status. 3 00:00:07,362 --> 00:00:09,904 Daisy Fuentes's butt-cheeks are just gonna be flowing 4 00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:12,310 - in the wind. - Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay! 5 00:00:12,331 --> 00:00:14,216 - That wasn't racist, was it? - She had s--that's a good one. 6 00:00:14,238 --> 00:00:15,338 - It was a little. - Okay, well. 7 00:00:15,358 --> 00:00:17,413 - It was a little racist. - Hey, uh, Dirk to Blaze. 8 00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:19,558 Any sign of what's clogging the drain, my main man? 9 00:00:19,608 --> 00:00:21,275 Negative, dude. 10 00:00:21,343 --> 00:00:23,377 I do see a barbeque down here, though, 11 00:00:23,445 --> 00:00:26,614 and a suitcase full of your clothes. 12 00:00:26,682 --> 00:00:29,183 I'm almost to the drain. It's 2 meters. 13 00:00:29,251 --> 00:00:31,052 How's the air quality down there? 14 00:00:31,119 --> 00:00:33,054 It's okay, it's all right. 15 00:00:33,121 --> 00:00:36,190 But I could use a blow of the dro, sir. 16 00:00:36,207 --> 00:00:39,009 Blowing dro. 17 00:00:39,127 --> 00:00:41,562 He's blowing dro now. Over. 18 00:00:42,105 --> 00:00:45,193 I just blew the dro. Blew the dro. 19 00:00:45,636 --> 00:00:47,223 Hey, Blaze, come on, man. 20 00:00:47,252 --> 00:00:49,083 Any sign of what's clogging the drain? 21 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:52,597 That's affirmative. There's something... 22 00:00:52,646 --> 00:00:57,416 Oh, my God, guys! 23 00:00:57,596 --> 00:01:00,911 You're not gonna believe this. 24 00:01:05,354 --> 00:01:07,521 ♪ I'm fresh 25 00:01:07,589 --> 00:01:09,190 ♪ You gotta you gotta ♪ 26 00:01:09,258 --> 00:01:13,160 - ♪ You gotta, gotta - ♪ Gotta be fresh 27 00:01:14,421 --> 00:01:17,890 Gentledudes, before you lies a fierce beast 28 00:01:17,931 --> 00:01:21,019 known to suck the brains out of humans and goats, 29 00:01:21,220 --> 00:01:23,852 driven from their habitat during the construction 30 00:01:23,899 --> 00:01:26,334 of the Rancho Garden Mall in '98. 31 00:01:26,408 --> 00:01:29,154 Heck, the scientists thought they moved up north. 32 00:01:29,397 --> 00:01:31,471 But I had a different hypothesis. 33 00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:33,379 Looks like I was right. 34 00:01:33,582 --> 00:01:37,818 I give you... The Rancho Chupacabraj. 35 00:01:37,886 --> 00:01:40,449 No, that is definitely our neighbor Mark's dog ambush. 36 00:01:40,498 --> 00:01:43,423 Covered in some of your hair and possibly jizz. 37 00:01:43,460 --> 00:01:46,762 Not mine, though. 38 00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:51,766 It's a Chupacabraj. 39 00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:54,502 I can't believe you're carrying around a dead animal. 40 00:01:54,569 --> 00:01:57,132 Well, I can't just leave this priceless artifact at home. 41 00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,401 What happens if, like, Nicolas Cage rolls 44 00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,414 - We need some, like, pool toys. - Yes. 45 00:02:05,430 --> 00:02:06,663 Chicks are like cats, dude. 46 00:02:06,675 --> 00:02:07,988 If you don't keep their attention, 47 00:02:08,016 --> 00:02:11,018 they'll wait for--on-- on top of the refrigerator. 48 00:02:11,086 --> 00:02:12,586 - Yep. - Welcome, gentlemen, 49 00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:15,389 to Tez's summer blowout special. 50 00:02:15,457 --> 00:02:18,759 I got everything you need. Games for the Dreamcast, 51 00:02:18,827 --> 00:02:21,595 Playstation One, and free smoovies. 52 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,931 'Cause white folks love smoovies. 53 00:02:23,999 --> 00:02:25,199 - Smoovies? - That's what I said. 54 00:02:25,267 --> 00:02:27,668 - Smoovies. - With a "v"? 55 00:02:27,736 --> 00:02:29,737 Smoothies! Wait, what do y'all want? 56 00:02:29,805 --> 00:02:32,340 We're actually looking for pool toys and whatnot 57 00:02:32,407 --> 00:02:33,941 - and what have you. - Pool toys. 58 00:02:34,009 --> 00:02:36,677 Let me check my inven-- you know what? 59 00:02:36,745 --> 00:02:39,180 Can I interest you boys in some straw cowboy hats? 60 00:02:39,247 --> 00:02:40,414 Oh, that's a great idea. 61 00:02:40,482 --> 00:02:42,049 Whenever chicks wear straw cowboy hats, 62 00:02:42,117 --> 00:02:45,386 they turn into sex cattle, man. And cowgirl butts... 63 00:02:45,454 --> 00:02:48,956 - Just get my thing hard. - Mm-hmm. 64 00:02:49,024 --> 00:02:50,758 Could you just show us to the pool supplies? 65 00:02:50,826 --> 00:02:52,126 All right, it's or this way, and-- 66 00:02:52,194 --> 00:02:54,762 Waymond, you touch it, you bought it. 67 00:02:54,830 --> 00:02:56,986 Come on. 68 00:02:58,268 --> 00:03:00,636 He has the Space Jam soundtrack. 69 00:03:00,916 --> 00:03:03,118 Whoa, dudes, check this out. 70 00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,923 Damn! 71 00:03:05,941 --> 00:03:07,575 - Aw, yeah. - What? 72 00:03:07,642 --> 00:03:09,377 That's the hover beast hovercraft. 73 00:03:09,444 --> 00:03:12,246 Colleen won that in a Tropicana bikini contest. 74 00:03:12,314 --> 00:03:15,950 150 horsepower engine. Four-blade warp drive prop. 75 00:03:16,017 --> 00:03:19,120 - And it's all yours for $500. - Dude. 76 00:03:19,187 --> 00:03:21,622 If we get this thing, man, it'll vault our party 77 00:03:21,690 --> 00:03:24,658 into the most awesomest maximus event of the summer. 78 00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,327 - Ah, brain freeze. - Montez Walker 79 00:03:26,395 --> 00:03:27,995 - on the invite list? - Never. 80 00:03:28,156 --> 00:03:31,990 How about I give you $200? 81 00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:34,060 Y'all talk about that. 82 00:03:34,106 --> 00:03:36,354 No, no, no, no, no. We can't spend that much money, 83 00:03:36,422 --> 00:03:37,815 because then we won't have enough money 84 00:03:37,827 --> 00:03:40,153 for the cowboy hats, and if we don't have cowboy hats, 85 00:03:40,183 --> 00:03:41,933 how am I gonna save a horse, ride a cowgirl? 86 00:03:41,964 --> 00:03:44,158 If we have a hovercraft, we don't need cowboy hats. 87 00:03:44,179 --> 00:03:46,013 - Yeah. - Hovercrafts are aphrodisiacs. 88 00:03:46,044 --> 00:03:48,388 They're basically... oysters of the ocean. 89 00:03:48,425 --> 00:03:49,188 Yummy. 90 00:03:49,216 --> 00:03:51,197 Yeah, I guess you're right. Plus, you know what? 91 00:03:51,217 --> 00:03:54,479 We could charge people money to ride on the hovercraft 92 00:03:54,524 --> 00:03:57,426 and also money to take pictures with the Chupacabraj. 93 00:03:57,468 --> 00:03:59,369 At this point now, we're making money. 94 00:03:59,462 --> 00:04:00,963 We're making money off our party. 95 00:04:01,031 --> 00:04:04,451 Guys, we could just buy it and return it next week. 96 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:08,287 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I heard that. 97 00:04:08,372 --> 00:04:10,607 No refunds around here. 98 00:04:10,674 --> 00:04:14,344 - All sales final. - How did he hear that? 99 00:04:14,411 --> 00:04:17,347 $450, plus you throw in 100 00:04:17,414 --> 00:04:19,682 all the straw cowboy hats we can eat, and that's a deal. 101 00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:23,486 And whatever's in arm's reach. 102 00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:25,989 - And this--this suit. - Whoa, cool! 103 00:04:26,056 --> 00:04:27,256 - Sold! - Okay! 104 00:04:27,324 --> 00:04:28,825 - Yes! - But you be careful 105 00:04:28,892 --> 00:04:30,393 in that suit. It's powerful. 106 00:04:30,461 --> 00:04:32,295 It makes women just... 107 00:04:32,363 --> 00:04:33,863 They just 108 00:04:33,931 --> 00:04:36,032 Waymond! Get over here and get a sendoff picture 109 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:38,034 - like we at the Saturn dealer. - There we go. 110 00:04:38,102 --> 00:04:40,870 - All right. - Charge that to the game. 111 00:04:40,938 --> 00:04:43,106 Cool. 112 00:04:43,173 --> 00:04:44,540 All right, Ders, fire this puppy up. 113 00:04:44,608 --> 00:04:45,775 - Whoo! - You got it! 114 00:04:45,843 --> 00:04:47,043 Here we go. 115 00:04:47,111 --> 00:04:49,512 - Land-ho! - Ahoy! 116 00:04:51,115 --> 00:04:52,715 Oh, captain, this is going down! 117 00:04:52,783 --> 00:04:54,150 I don't like when your mom visits. 118 00:04:54,218 --> 00:04:55,551 She's always flirting with me. 119 00:04:55,619 --> 00:04:56,953 She's got those big titties like you. 120 00:04:57,021 --> 00:05:00,390 - No sale! - What in the is going-- 121 00:05:00,457 --> 00:05:02,801 We want our $450 back, 122 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:04,313 because the hovercraft you sold us 123 00:05:04,361 --> 00:05:06,646 catches fire way too easily. 124 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,181 I told y'all no refunds. 125 00:05:09,223 --> 00:05:10,279 Ain't that right, way-way? 126 00:05:10,349 --> 00:05:12,450 - He heard me. - We don't want refunds. 127 00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:14,562 We want our money back so we can buy a hovercraft 128 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:15,656 that actually flies. 129 00:05:15,728 --> 00:05:16,994 - Mm-hmm. - In the water. 130 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,651 - Wat--water flight. - Mm-hmm. 131 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,519 Yeah, that's right. Our pool party's ruined. 132 00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,221 Now it's just guys with cowboy hats 133 00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,390 squirting each other. That's bad. 134 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,559 - And? - Well... 135 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:30,396 We'll sue you. We'll take everything you've got. 136 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,131 - That's a really good idea. - Thanks. 137 00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:33,566 That's why he's the brains of the operation. 138 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,368 You want to get judge Joe Brown on it? 139 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:37,136 You want some judge Judy up your booty? 140 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,671 You better lawyer up. 141 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:41,040 - You better lawyer up. - ♪ Lawyer up 142 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,910 - ♪ You better lawyer up! - There's no lawyers 143 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,711 - in small claims court. - What? 144 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,147 - Then lawyer down, okay? - Yeah, so lawyer down. 145 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,416 You know what? We're gonna see you in court, man. 146 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,151 - See you there. - No, we will. 147 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,786 - We'll see you in court. - Oh, well, bring it. 148 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,054 Yeah, fine, we will bring it. 149 00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,489 - Fine, then. - Mm. 150 00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,257 Yo, what the you did right there? 151 00:05:58,325 --> 00:05:59,725 That's my cactus! 152 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,394 You want to go in the garbage can? 153 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:02,929 - Sorry. - Sorry, Jet Set. 154 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,664 We thought it was his cactus. We didn't know. 155 00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,465 Now y'all get out of my house. 156 00:06:06,507 --> 00:06:07,589 Have a good day. 157 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:12,319 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 158 00:06:16,568 --> 00:06:17,802 Move it along, people. 159 00:06:17,869 --> 00:06:19,704 We got a big-time lawyer coming through. 160 00:06:19,771 --> 00:06:21,138 Guys, I applied to law school. 161 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,840 I didn't even get accepted anywhere. 162 00:06:22,908 --> 00:06:25,276 Well, that's not true. You got accepted in our hearts. 163 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:28,312 No homo, pro bono. That's a lawyer term, right? 164 00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:30,314 I'm gonna say it again. I have no idea. 165 00:06:30,382 --> 00:06:32,049 I don't know. I don't know. 166 00:06:32,117 --> 00:06:33,884 I don't understand how you don't know, 167 00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:36,520 because you've seen every episode of Franklin & Bash. 168 00:06:36,588 --> 00:06:38,022 - Who hasn't? - That's true. 169 00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:39,457 That's a good show. Really good show. 170 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,526 Ders, you have a briefcase. Use that. 171 00:06:42,594 --> 00:06:44,195 I do have a briefcase. 172 00:06:44,262 --> 00:06:46,964 We bought a hovercraft for a party that we can't have. 173 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,466 You know how sad that makes me? 174 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:52,436 - Lawyer the sadness away. - I will, man. 175 00:06:52,504 --> 00:06:55,806 - This your bag? - Uh, yes, sir, it is. 176 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,374 - That was salty. - I'm gonna have to search it. 177 00:06:57,442 --> 00:06:59,944 Oh, uh, yeah, go ahead. 178 00:07:00,011 --> 00:07:02,213 - Sure, yeah, of course. - Oh, damn! 179 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,281 Yeah, pretty freaky, right? It's a, uh-- 180 00:07:04,349 --> 00:07:06,617 It's actually a Rancho Chupacabraj. 181 00:07:06,685 --> 00:07:09,353 Uh, but I have to take it with me. It's evidence in a... 182 00:07:09,421 --> 00:07:14,892 Uh... well, a--a dude having sex with a Chupacabraj case, so... 183 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,794 - Get out of here. - All right. 184 00:07:16,862 --> 00:07:18,796 - Thanks, sir. - He found it covered in jizz. 185 00:07:18,864 --> 00:07:21,632 We're not sure what--animal jizz or human jizz, we're not sure. 186 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,738 You've all been sworn in. 187 00:07:27,806 --> 00:07:29,473 Gentlemen, I've read your complaint. 188 00:07:29,541 --> 00:07:32,042 Do you have anything to add other than your claim 189 00:07:32,110 --> 00:07:33,677 of boat fraud in the first degree, 190 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:36,447 which I'd like to point out is not real thing? 191 00:07:36,515 --> 00:07:38,382 Well, we're here to prove that it is, your honor. 192 00:07:38,450 --> 00:07:41,118 If I may, I'm gonna stand. 193 00:07:41,186 --> 00:07:43,187 I'd like to, uh, address the jury here. 194 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:46,490 Uh, plaintiff, uh, this isn't a jury trial. 195 00:07:46,558 --> 00:07:47,792 They're here awaiting their cases. 196 00:07:47,859 --> 00:07:49,894 - These people? - Uh-huh. 197 00:07:49,961 --> 00:07:51,896 Thank you, judge Tibbles. 198 00:07:51,963 --> 00:07:53,798 Ladies and gentlemen of the esteemed court, 199 00:07:53,865 --> 00:07:56,734 two dudes with some bodacious ponytails. 200 00:07:56,802 --> 00:07:59,470 - 22 inches and counting. - Dude. 201 00:07:59,538 --> 00:08:01,505 This is 19 inches. It's longer than yours. 202 00:08:01,573 --> 00:08:02,807 - No, it's not. - I measured it 203 00:08:02,874 --> 00:08:04,241 - from the base up here. - I measured it 204 00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:05,709 from the top of my forehead. 205 00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:09,513 I have but one word: 206 00:08:09,581 --> 00:08:12,983 "Justice." Right? 207 00:08:13,051 --> 00:08:15,085 Just. Us. 208 00:08:15,153 --> 00:08:17,221 It's just us on this planet earth. 209 00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,223 We're alone, so... 210 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:21,492 We need to trust each other. 211 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,062 Trust. Us. 212 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,331 Rhymes, so you know that it's real. 213 00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:31,035 Which brings me to the question... 214 00:08:31,102 --> 00:08:33,704 Are we human... 215 00:08:33,772 --> 00:08:36,841 Or are we dancers? 216 00:08:36,908 --> 00:08:38,676 Plaintiff, is there any additional evidence 217 00:08:38,743 --> 00:08:40,544 besides the defective hovercraft? 218 00:08:40,612 --> 00:08:42,246 No, but look, I was having a good time. 219 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:44,415 The problem is that this guy sold us a bunk hovercraft, 220 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,183 and now we're gonna have a sausage fest 221 00:08:46,251 --> 00:08:48,185 with no bikinis and no straw cowboy hats, 222 00:08:48,253 --> 00:08:49,753 and I don't think you're being fair. 223 00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,322 This isn't fair. 224 00:08:51,389 --> 00:08:53,858 Mr. Walker, how do you respond to the accusation? 225 00:08:53,925 --> 00:08:58,362 Your honor, I know your time is valuable, so I will be brief. 226 00:08:58,430 --> 00:09:01,398 Um, this here is a textbook witch hunt-- 227 00:09:01,466 --> 00:09:04,668 - How's he sound so real? - That will clearly exonerate me 228 00:09:04,736 --> 00:09:08,172 from all these prejudicious and unfair charges. 229 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,807 This isn't a race thing, sir. 230 00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:11,475 - May I approach the bench? - Proceed. 231 00:09:11,543 --> 00:09:13,244 - He knows exactly... - You're dumb. 232 00:09:13,311 --> 00:09:16,413 Your honor, as you can see, in nine separate locations, 233 00:09:16,481 --> 00:09:19,884 in accordance with our great law, is my signs. 234 00:09:19,951 --> 00:09:22,386 Ders, why aren't you using the briefcase? 235 00:09:22,454 --> 00:09:23,921 There's nothing inside the briefcase 236 00:09:23,989 --> 00:09:26,257 except for golf pencils and baseball cards, 237 00:09:26,324 --> 00:09:27,925 and slim Jim dare. 238 00:09:27,993 --> 00:09:29,760 Slim Jim dare really freaking hot beef jerky, 239 00:09:29,828 --> 00:09:31,495 and you didn't give us any of that. 240 00:09:31,563 --> 00:09:33,179 This is the jalapeno kind, and you didn't give-- 241 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,973 - You didn't even think-- - Gentlemen, please. 242 00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:37,907 This is a court of law. It's not a feeding trough. 243 00:09:37,938 --> 00:09:40,440 I had one. I had--this one was out. 244 00:09:40,658 --> 00:09:43,211 - I just--okay. - No, no, dude, dude, come on. 245 00:09:43,241 --> 00:09:45,010 I think you're making a very good case here. 246 00:09:45,035 --> 00:09:46,817 Okay, Ders's lawyering didn't work, 247 00:09:46,859 --> 00:09:50,028 so it's time for me to do some liar-ing. 248 00:09:51,327 --> 00:09:53,028 - I'm gonna lie. - Oh, cool. 249 00:09:53,096 --> 00:09:54,556 Your honor, 250 00:09:54,686 --> 00:09:58,722 I do declare that we have a star witness 251 00:09:58,790 --> 00:10:02,359 that we would like to call to the stand. 252 00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:06,002 - To the what? - To the stand. 253 00:10:06,035 --> 00:10:07,642 I don't understand the word you're saying. 254 00:10:07,662 --> 00:10:09,848 To the stand, to the stand. 255 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:12,464 And we all were just screaming, "Montez, stop," 256 00:10:12,482 --> 00:10:15,725 and he just continued to squeeze the life 257 00:10:15,756 --> 00:10:17,957 out of the poor little girl scout's dalmatian. 258 00:10:17,970 --> 00:10:21,139 - It was--it was disgusting. - What? 259 00:10:21,159 --> 00:10:23,326 - Can we get back to the case? - Your honor. 260 00:10:23,394 --> 00:10:25,662 We are just here to tell the truth, the whole truth, 261 00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:27,831 and nothing but the truth about a vile 262 00:10:27,899 --> 00:10:31,334 and disgusting man who was trying to ruin our party. 263 00:10:31,402 --> 00:10:33,503 Could you use your regular voice, please? 264 00:10:33,571 --> 00:10:35,005 This young lady 265 00:10:35,073 --> 00:10:36,773 knows where I'm coming from, 266 00:10:36,841 --> 00:10:39,409 - don't you, doll? - Huh? 267 00:10:39,477 --> 00:10:41,078 Do you like pool parties, miss? 268 00:10:41,145 --> 00:10:42,412 Yeah. 269 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,514 And are you available this Saturday, 270 00:10:44,582 --> 00:10:48,752 and may I remind you you are under oath? 271 00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:51,855 I guess I don't have any plans. 272 00:10:51,923 --> 00:10:53,457 Can we get back to the case please? 273 00:10:53,524 --> 00:10:55,125 Your honor, I'm just making sure 274 00:10:55,193 --> 00:10:58,662 that everybody in here is being truthful, 275 00:10:58,729 --> 00:11:03,133 such as myself holding on to my nine-inch lap-hog, 276 00:11:03,201 --> 00:11:07,838 which must be a true thing since I am also under oath. 277 00:11:07,905 --> 00:11:09,906 Uh, yeah, we all have really big dongs. 278 00:11:09,974 --> 00:11:11,808 - I swear on a stack of bibles. - My dick's big. 279 00:11:11,876 --> 00:11:15,078 I believe we've had enough lap-hog talk for one lifetime. 280 00:11:15,146 --> 00:11:16,813 I'm sorry, your honor. Did you guys see 281 00:11:16,881 --> 00:11:19,983 the "No refund" signs at the garage sale, or no? 282 00:11:20,051 --> 00:11:21,518 I certainly did not see a sign-- 283 00:11:21,586 --> 00:11:24,654 - That is a lie! - I should warn you gentlemen 284 00:11:24,722 --> 00:11:27,324 that perjury laws are swift and severe. 285 00:11:27,391 --> 00:11:30,694 Mm-hmm, swift willy style, all in there. 286 00:11:30,761 --> 00:11:32,429 You may sit down. 287 00:11:32,497 --> 00:11:34,331 Does the defense have any response? 288 00:11:34,398 --> 00:11:37,267 Yes, I do. I also have a star witness 289 00:11:37,335 --> 00:11:38,702 who can prove beyond a reasonable doubt 290 00:11:38,769 --> 00:11:40,537 that these sucker-necks are lying. 291 00:11:40,605 --> 00:11:44,541 Defense calls Waymond Womano. 292 00:11:44,609 --> 00:11:46,143 Oh, [Bleep], this is bad. 293 00:11:46,210 --> 00:11:47,811 He saw everything. We can't let him testify. 294 00:11:47,879 --> 00:11:49,513 If he testifies, we're gonna go to jail for perjury. 295 00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:52,549 - You should've told me that. - I thought you knew. 296 00:11:52,617 --> 00:11:55,118 I choose to accept this mission. 297 00:11:55,186 --> 00:11:57,020 Uh... 298 00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:03,860 State your name for the court record, please. 299 00:12:03,928 --> 00:12:05,795 What the heck's that? 300 00:12:08,499 --> 00:12:09,833 What the... 301 00:12:09,901 --> 00:12:11,067 What the hell? 302 00:12:11,135 --> 00:12:12,869 Court is adjourned till tomorrow. 303 00:12:12,937 --> 00:12:14,804 Yeah. 304 00:12:14,872 --> 00:12:17,574 Adjourning's the best. Obviously we're adjourning 305 00:12:17,642 --> 00:12:19,576 'cause you have rats in your vents. 306 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,197 That's the first smart thing you done all day. 307 00:12:21,222 --> 00:12:22,522 You're at the courthouse. 308 00:12:22,543 --> 00:12:24,224 Y'all slick, you're real slick. 309 00:12:24,248 --> 00:12:25,749 I know y'all threw that dookie bag. 310 00:12:25,816 --> 00:12:28,251 But we back tomorrow, and Waymond is pissed. 311 00:12:28,319 --> 00:12:30,320 You messed up his church shoes, and look at my good suit. 312 00:12:30,388 --> 00:12:31,888 How about we settle out of court? 313 00:12:31,956 --> 00:12:33,390 You know, we'll take you to Ruby Tuesday's, 314 00:12:33,457 --> 00:12:35,192 we'll buy you a root-beer and a burger. 315 00:12:35,259 --> 00:12:37,294 The only thing y'all gonna be eating is ass salad. 316 00:12:37,361 --> 00:12:40,530 Talking about prison for in and around 30 days. 317 00:12:40,554 --> 00:12:42,021 Good luck. 318 00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:43,867 Oh, man, we're going to jail, 319 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,947 and I never got to Eiffel Tower a chick with one of you guys. 320 00:12:46,981 --> 00:12:48,857 We're not gonna go to jail if Waymond doesn't testify. 321 00:12:48,881 --> 00:12:49,948 Oh, we're eating ass salad, man. 322 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,448 I'm gonna have a big bowl of ass salad. 323 00:12:52,491 --> 00:12:55,262 You heard Tez. Waymond's snitching tomorrow. 324 00:12:55,501 --> 00:12:57,420 Not we get to him tonight. 325 00:13:09,994 --> 00:13:11,528 Shut up, stay right there! 326 00:13:11,596 --> 00:13:13,797 - And drive! - Whoops! Hey! 327 00:13:13,864 --> 00:13:15,832 Don't talk though. Don't talk though. 328 00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:24,511 Waymond Womano, we can't be responsible 329 00:13:24,536 --> 00:13:27,011 for what happens if you show up in court tomorrow. 330 00:13:27,161 --> 00:13:31,531 But we can be very responsible if you-- 331 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:33,793 if you don't... do that. 332 00:13:33,821 --> 00:13:36,473 Yeah, stick your hand in this bag. 333 00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:40,418 Do it! You feel that? Those are the eyeballs of kids 334 00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:42,086 that we plucked out of their heads! 335 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,288 And this? This is intestines. 336 00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:45,856 No, Blake. We're, uh-- 337 00:13:45,924 --> 00:13:48,960 Dude #1, we told you he's not blindfolded. 338 00:13:49,027 --> 00:13:51,862 He's not blindfolded. He can see that it's spaghetti. 339 00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:56,434 Well, this is spaghetti that a dude was eating, 340 00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:58,869 - but we killed him. - Yeah! 341 00:13:58,937 --> 00:14:00,471 And we'll kill you too. 342 00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:03,274 - Yeah, we killed his ass. - Are you ready to die? 343 00:14:03,511 --> 00:14:04,811 Oh, that's the game you want to play? 344 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,614 - Oh, okay. - Dig your own grave, bud. 345 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,248 Yeah, dig the fricking grave, 346 00:14:08,316 --> 00:14:10,785 you marshmallow-looking mother. 347 00:14:14,156 --> 00:14:16,290 - What? - Heh, heh... 348 00:14:16,358 --> 00:14:18,592 - Little help? - Oh. 349 00:14:18,660 --> 00:14:19,994 - Just throw--hurry up. - Yeah. 350 00:14:20,061 --> 00:14:22,280 - Go falcons! - Thank you. 351 00:14:22,384 --> 00:14:24,385 Hey, nice arm. 352 00:14:25,278 --> 00:14:26,878 It's a shovel, not a broom. 353 00:14:26,902 --> 00:14:28,769 - Come on, jeez. - That's what you got? 354 00:14:28,837 --> 00:14:31,605 Harder. He's throwing it on his shoe--shoes. 355 00:14:31,673 --> 00:14:34,441 You really suck at this. He sucks at this. 356 00:14:34,509 --> 00:14:36,310 Jesus Christ, you're horrible. 357 00:14:36,378 --> 00:14:37,745 I'm actually not very good either. 358 00:14:37,813 --> 00:14:38,979 Well, you're holding the spaghetti. 359 00:14:39,047 --> 00:14:40,915 We told you not to bring the spaghetti. 360 00:14:40,982 --> 00:14:42,845 I'm gonna go get some more shovels. 361 00:14:42,877 --> 00:14:43,659 Yeah. 362 00:14:43,685 --> 00:14:45,319 I'm actually really proud of us, guys. 363 00:14:45,387 --> 00:14:47,075 This hole is freaking impressive. 364 00:14:47,093 --> 00:14:48,963 - It's crazy. - Whoa, dude, look, 365 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:51,151 you're gonna kill yourself if you don't start lifting 366 00:14:51,193 --> 00:14:52,760 with your body instead of your arm muscles. 367 00:14:52,828 --> 00:14:54,762 Well, my arm muscles are my body, Ders. 368 00:14:54,830 --> 00:14:56,480 In fact, I think they're most of it. 369 00:14:56,498 --> 00:14:58,903 I think we can all agree that the most important thing 370 00:14:58,934 --> 00:15:00,601 to do is come from the top here. 371 00:15:00,643 --> 00:15:02,116 - Yeah. - Because all the leverage 372 00:15:02,122 --> 00:15:03,322 when you're going--ow! 373 00:15:03,632 --> 00:15:04,632 - Aah! - Wait, what happened? 374 00:15:04,649 --> 00:15:06,349 - I think... - What happened? 375 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,999 - Splinter. - Oh, yeah, yeah. 376 00:15:08,026 --> 00:15:09,855 That's painful, that's painful, that's very painful. 377 00:15:09,911 --> 00:15:11,745 Waymond? Waymond? Wait, Waymond! 378 00:15:11,813 --> 00:15:13,480 - Waymond! - Waymond! 379 00:15:13,548 --> 00:15:17,451 Waymond, wait, wait! Maybe we went too far! 380 00:15:17,519 --> 00:15:19,687 Uh, we were just trying to scare you out of testifying. 381 00:15:19,754 --> 00:15:21,155 It's us, the bull boys! 382 00:15:21,223 --> 00:15:23,424 Well, we shouldn't have let him wait 383 00:15:23,491 --> 00:15:26,160 - in the car to get warm. - Really boner move on our part. 384 00:15:26,228 --> 00:15:27,995 Yeah, now we're gonna go to prison for perjury. 385 00:15:28,063 --> 00:15:29,797 - And liar-ing even. - Oh, man. 386 00:15:29,865 --> 00:15:34,134 Hot dudes like us do not do well in prison, guys. 387 00:15:34,202 --> 00:15:37,805 We are like three fresh meat butt sticks just waiting 388 00:15:37,873 --> 00:15:41,242 - for a dry rub. - Oh, God, Blake's right. 389 00:15:41,309 --> 00:15:43,577 His American Idol hairdo, your norse-ness. 390 00:15:43,645 --> 00:15:47,114 My pecs, my hammies. My gluts, man! 391 00:15:47,182 --> 00:15:48,916 They're just waiting for a good dicking. 392 00:15:48,984 --> 00:15:50,851 - Oh, we're gonna get pounded. - Maybe, like, 393 00:15:50,919 --> 00:15:52,486 over time, it, like-- it gets okay. 394 00:15:52,554 --> 00:15:54,488 It's just skin after all, right? 395 00:15:54,556 --> 00:15:56,156 - What? - I don't know. 396 00:15:56,224 --> 00:15:58,158 I'm just trying to be, like, a "glass half full" guy. 397 00:15:58,226 --> 00:16:01,061 You're gonna have an ass half full of prison. 398 00:16:01,129 --> 00:16:02,296 So what should we do right now? 399 00:16:02,364 --> 00:16:03,764 Should we go get hamburgers? 400 00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,766 Eat a bunch of hamburgers right now and get fat? 401 00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:08,159 So the dudes won't want to butt-fun us? 402 00:16:08,215 --> 00:16:10,185 - We'll get fat, we'll get ugly. - We have to beat the pretty 403 00:16:10,216 --> 00:16:11,493 out of each other. 404 00:16:11,545 --> 00:16:13,613 All right, well, how do we go about doing that? 405 00:16:13,743 --> 00:16:16,137 I don't know. What do you say, we count to three, 406 00:16:16,162 --> 00:16:19,037 and all, like, just punch each other, same time? 407 00:16:19,055 --> 00:16:20,244 - To the right? - Yeah, to the right. 408 00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:21,742 I don't want to call you guys bitches, 409 00:16:21,766 --> 00:16:24,537 but you guys are bitches. 410 00:16:24,994 --> 00:16:26,051 You're bitches. 411 00:16:26,095 --> 00:16:28,625 You guys wouldn't be able to hurt me, my face is very hard. 412 00:16:28,733 --> 00:16:32,017 Growing up, all the bullies were, like, "Holy, man. 413 00:16:32,068 --> 00:16:33,402 - Your face so hard." - Right. 414 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,032 "It hurts my hand when I punch." 415 00:16:35,066 --> 00:16:36,808 I need something much harder to hit it. 416 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:40,383 - Whoa! Uh... - Dude, whoa. 417 00:16:40,497 --> 00:16:42,213 - You want me to blast you? - No, no, no. 418 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,074 Let's just, uh, we'll tell him we fought. 419 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:45,911 - No, yeah, good--good call. - You all right, man? 420 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:47,057 Adam, Adam, you okay? 421 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:48,287 - Adam. - Sorry. 422 00:16:48,322 --> 00:16:50,891 Come on, okay, oh... 423 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,385 Did I get you? Did I get you good? 424 00:16:52,404 --> 00:16:53,771 - Did I get you good? - Uh, no. 425 00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:56,306 But Ders got me a-- a cracked rib for sure. 426 00:16:56,374 --> 00:16:58,275 We fought, and, uh, Blake curbed me. 427 00:16:58,343 --> 00:16:59,662 - Just destroyed my face. - Yeah, twice. 428 00:16:59,714 --> 00:17:01,724 I can see that. I can see that. 429 00:17:01,807 --> 00:17:03,241 You look bad, dude. You look bad. 430 00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,848 - Okay, let's-- - You look bad, dude. 431 00:17:04,916 --> 00:17:06,483 - This way. - This--yeah. 432 00:17:06,551 --> 00:17:08,393 - Let's go home. - Whoo! 433 00:17:08,513 --> 00:17:10,506 Oh, great, the sun's coming up soon. 434 00:17:10,626 --> 00:17:12,875 Guess we'll be walking straight to the courthouse. 435 00:17:21,449 --> 00:17:23,350 Hey, guys, when the judge reads our sentences, 436 00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,519 - just don't cry. - Yeah, definitely. 437 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:26,967 Band of brajs, we got this. 438 00:17:27,019 --> 00:17:28,737 Does it smell like burnt tires in here? 439 00:17:28,779 --> 00:17:30,386 Smell, like, a little like something's burning? 440 00:17:30,414 --> 00:17:31,658 - No. - Nice of you 441 00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:33,610 - to join us, gentlemen. - Sorry, your honor, 442 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:36,780 but took a one-and-a-half in my pants on the elevator. 443 00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,949 Yes, that, uh, definitely happened, 444 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,951 but we won't bother you with our whole morning. 445 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:42,653 - No, uh... - That's why we're late, 446 00:17:42,721 --> 00:17:44,424 'cause I-I-I and pissed my pants-- 447 00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:46,516 - Adam, don't. 448 00:17:46,658 --> 00:17:47,958 We're ready to take responsibility 449 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,594 for whatever Waymond told you we did. 450 00:17:50,662 --> 00:17:53,097 Before Mr. Womano testifies, I understand that he has 451 00:17:53,164 --> 00:17:56,533 some physical evidence that may be pertinent to this case. 452 00:17:56,601 --> 00:17:58,669 I got pictures of y'all in front of my signs. 453 00:17:58,737 --> 00:18:01,338 You gonna fry. Some ass salad. 454 00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:11,913 I mean... 455 00:18:13,305 --> 00:18:15,567 Whoo, wow, I'm hairy. 456 00:18:15,605 --> 00:18:17,499 I fail to see the relevance of any of this. 457 00:18:17,854 --> 00:18:20,289 Sir, my wife Colleen is taking a photography class 458 00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:23,209 at the learning annex and she needed a sexy model, so... 459 00:18:23,283 --> 00:18:24,651 Just move ahead at your discretion. 460 00:18:25,743 --> 00:18:28,168 Oh, bam! There it is! 461 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,593 Well, would you look at that? Seems like Mr. Walker's 462 00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:32,445 been telling the truth the whole time. 463 00:18:32,526 --> 00:18:35,061 Oh, this one has a little "play" icon in the corner. 464 00:18:35,172 --> 00:18:37,473 Shall I play it and see what we can surmise from this? 465 00:18:39,978 --> 00:18:43,871 Did you see Monteezy work his magic? 466 00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,981 I sold these fools a broke-ass hovercraft. 467 00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:48,174 That's what they get for never inviting me to their parties. 468 00:18:48,190 --> 00:18:50,725 Now let's go get some tacos and free smoothies. 469 00:18:51,418 --> 00:18:53,235 You're killing me, Waymond! 470 00:18:53,986 --> 00:18:55,500 After reviewing the evidence, 471 00:18:55,518 --> 00:18:58,356 the court finds in favor of the plaintiffs. 472 00:18:58,460 --> 00:19:00,895 The defendant is ordered to pay repair costs 473 00:19:00,925 --> 00:19:02,831 in their entirety. 474 00:19:02,906 --> 00:19:04,825 Did you just see the video? 475 00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:06,682 You won, gentlemen. 476 00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:09,487 - What? Oh! - We won? 477 00:19:09,641 --> 00:19:10,841 - Whoo! - We did it! 478 00:19:10,909 --> 00:19:13,610 Whoo, we won! We won! 479 00:19:13,678 --> 00:19:16,847 Whoo, this party sucks! 480 00:19:16,915 --> 00:19:20,617 All right, a maniac, I like it, very cool. 481 00:19:20,653 --> 00:19:23,444 Hey, don't be shy, dudes. Come on up and take a picture 482 00:19:23,488 --> 00:19:27,221 with the picture of the Rancho Chupacabraj. 483 00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:29,002 Come on, we got one picture for $10, 484 00:19:29,027 --> 00:19:31,583 two pictures for $5, so... 485 00:19:31,725 --> 00:19:34,660 Just take two. Two. It's a cheaper deal. 486 00:19:34,766 --> 00:19:37,134 Yo, blaze, any day now. 487 00:19:37,202 --> 00:19:39,058 - Oh, yeah. - Hey, guys, 488 00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,811 I just want to, uh, take this opportunity 489 00:19:40,837 --> 00:19:44,140 to say welcome to our premier beach house party of the summer! 490 00:19:44,189 --> 00:19:46,758 Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! 491 00:19:46,788 --> 00:19:48,607 Okay, you guys don't seem amped, and I get that. 492 00:19:48,626 --> 00:19:51,668 It's about 98% to 99% dudes here. 493 00:19:51,686 --> 00:19:52,781 - It's mostly dudes. - Yeah. 494 00:19:52,812 --> 00:19:55,918 That's okay, though, 'cause once this bitch gets soaring, 495 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:58,125 - it's gonna be a chick stampede. - That's right. 496 00:19:58,149 --> 00:20:00,013 Let's take off those straw cowboy hats, though, 497 00:20:00,022 --> 00:20:01,355 'cause those are for the chicks. 498 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,834 - Hey, look! - Oh! Oh! 499 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,703 - Hey, come in! - No, no. 500 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,038 - Yeah, yeah, she's with me. - Let's go, let's go. 501 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,607 this. 502 00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:22,120 - Aah! - Oh... 503 00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:23,788 That was not our fault. 504 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,429 - Oh, fudge. - That's not our fault. 505 00:20:25,453 --> 00:20:27,454 Oh, my God. Are you--are you boys okay? 506 00:20:27,472 --> 00:20:29,359 Yeah, if you mean almost getting decapitated 507 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:32,630 by your sharp-ass fence, then yeah. Ow! Ow! 508 00:20:32,673 --> 00:20:34,627 Why is your fence so sharp, dude? 509 00:20:34,654 --> 00:20:37,354 Are you kidding? You just drove a boat through my yard. 510 00:20:37,385 --> 00:20:40,139 Well, we'll just have to see how that holds up 511 00:20:40,182 --> 00:20:42,120 - in small claims court. - Whoo! 512 00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:46,054 Yeah, that's right. You better lawyer down, sir. 513 00:20:46,085 --> 00:20:48,493 I am a lawyer. And with this kind of damage, 514 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,376 I'm gonna bring you to big boy court. 515 00:20:50,508 --> 00:20:53,770 Well, then,[Bleep], sir. 516 00:20:53,805 --> 00:20:55,639 Nice. 517 00:20:55,757 --> 00:21:00,795 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther