1 00:00:00,988 --> 00:00:03,618 Man, this summer kickoff party's gonna be, like, 2 00:00:03,726 --> 00:00:06,295 MTV Beach House throwback status. 3 00:00:06,362 --> 00:00:08,904 Daisy Fuentes's butt-cheeks are just gonna be flowing 4 00:00:08,922 --> 00:00:11,310 - in the wind. - Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay! 5 00:00:11,331 --> 00:00:13,216 - That wasn't racist, was it? - She had s--that's a good one. 6 00:00:13,238 --> 00:00:14,338 - It was a little. - Okay, well. 7 00:00:14,358 --> 00:00:16,413 - It was a little racist. - Hey, uh, Dirk to Blaze. 8 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,558 Any sign of what's clogging the drain, my main man? 9 00:00:18,608 --> 00:00:20,275 Negative, dude. 10 00:00:20,343 --> 00:00:22,377 I do see a barbeque down here, though, 11 00:00:22,445 --> 00:00:25,614 and a suitcase full of your clothes. 12 00:00:25,682 --> 00:00:28,183 I'm almost to the drain. It's 2 meters. 13 00:00:28,251 --> 00:00:30,052 How's the air quality down there? 14 00:00:30,119 --> 00:00:32,054 It's okay, it's all right. 15 00:00:32,121 --> 00:00:35,190 But I could use a blow of the dro, sir. 16 00:00:35,207 --> 00:00:38,009 Blowing dro. 17 00:00:38,127 --> 00:00:40,562 He's blowing dro now. Over. 18 00:00:41,105 --> 00:00:44,193 I just blew the dro. Blew the dro. 19 00:00:44,636 --> 00:00:46,223 Hey, Blaze, come on, man. 20 00:00:46,252 --> 00:00:48,083 Any sign of what's clogging the drain? 21 00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:51,597 That's affirmative. There's something... 22 00:00:51,646 --> 00:00:56,416 Oh, my God, guys! 23 00:00:56,596 --> 00:00:59,911 You're not gonna believe this. 24 00:01:04,354 --> 00:01:06,521 ♪ I'm fresh 25 00:01:06,589 --> 00:01:08,190 ♪ You gotta you gotta ♪ 26 00:01:08,258 --> 00:01:12,160 - ♪ You gotta, gotta - ♪ Gotta be fresh 27 00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:16,890 Gentledudes, before you lies a fierce beast 28 00:01:16,931 --> 00:01:20,019 known to suck the brains out of humans and goats, 29 00:01:20,220 --> 00:01:22,852 driven from their habitat during the construction 30 00:01:22,899 --> 00:01:25,334 of the Rancho Garden Mall in '98. 31 00:01:25,408 --> 00:01:28,154 Heck, the scientists thought they moved up north. 32 00:01:28,397 --> 00:01:30,471 But I had a different hypothesis. 33 00:01:30,569 --> 00:01:32,379 Looks like I was right. 34 00:01:32,582 --> 00:01:36,818 I give you... The Rancho Chupacabraj. 35 00:01:36,886 --> 00:01:39,449 No, that is definitely our neighbor Mark's dog ambush. 36 00:01:39,498 --> 00:01:42,423 Covered in some of your hair and possibly jizz. 37 00:01:42,460 --> 00:01:45,762 Not mine, though. 38 00:01:48,965 --> 00:01:50,766 It's a Chupacabraj. 39 00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:53,502 I can't believe you're carrying around a dead animal. 40 00:01:53,569 --> 00:01:56,132 Well, I can't just leave this priceless artifact at home. 41 00:01:56,151 --> 00:01:58,401 What happens if, like, Nicolas Cage rolls 42 00:02:02,875 --> 00:02:04,414 - We need some, like, pool toys. - Yes. 43 00:02:04,430 --> 00:02:05,663 Chicks are like cats, dude. 44 00:02:05,675 --> 00:02:06,988 If you don't keep their attention, 45 00:02:07,016 --> 00:02:10,018 they'll wait for--on-- on top of the refrigerator. 46 00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,586 - Yep. - Welcome, gentlemen, 47 00:02:11,654 --> 00:02:14,389 to Tez's summer blowout special. 48 00:02:14,457 --> 00:02:17,759 I got everything you need. Games for the Dreamcast, 49 00:02:17,827 --> 00:02:20,595 Playstation One, and free smoovies. 50 00:02:20,663 --> 00:02:22,931 'Cause white folks love smoovies. 51 00:02:22,999 --> 00:02:24,199 - Smoovies? - That's what I said. 52 00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:26,668 - Smoovies. - With a "v"? 53 00:02:26,736 --> 00:02:28,737 Smoothies! Wait, what do y'all want? 54 00:02:28,805 --> 00:02:31,340 We're actually looking for pool toys and whatnot 55 00:02:31,407 --> 00:02:32,941 - and what have you. - Pool toys. 56 00:02:33,009 --> 00:02:35,677 Let me check my inven-- you know what? 57 00:02:35,745 --> 00:02:38,180 Can I interest you boys in some straw cowboy hats? 58 00:02:38,247 --> 00:02:39,414 Oh, that's a great idea. 59 00:02:39,482 --> 00:02:41,049 Whenever chicks wear straw cowboy hats, 60 00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:44,386 they turn into sex cattle, man. And cowgirl butts... 61 00:02:44,454 --> 00:02:47,956 - Just get my thing hard. - Mm-hmm. 62 00:02:48,024 --> 00:02:49,758 Could you just show us to the pool supplies? 63 00:02:49,826 --> 00:02:51,126 All right, it's or this way, and-- 64 00:02:51,194 --> 00:02:53,762 Waymond, you touch it, you bought it. 65 00:02:53,830 --> 00:02:55,986 Come on. 66 00:02:57,268 --> 00:02:59,636 He has the Space Jam soundtrack. 67 00:02:59,916 --> 00:03:02,118 Whoa, dudes, check this out. 68 00:03:02,792 --> 00:03:04,923 Damn! 69 00:03:04,941 --> 00:03:06,575 - Aw, yeah. - What? 70 00:03:06,642 --> 00:03:08,377 That's the hover beast hovercraft. 71 00:03:08,444 --> 00:03:11,246 Colleen won that in a Tropicana bikini contest. 72 00:03:11,314 --> 00:03:14,950 150 horsepower engine. Four-blade warp drive prop. 73 00:03:15,017 --> 00:03:18,120 - And it's all yours for $500. - Dude. 74 00:03:18,187 --> 00:03:20,622 If we get this thing, man, it'll vault our party 75 00:03:20,690 --> 00:03:23,658 into the most awesomest maximus event of the summer. 76 00:03:23,726 --> 00:03:25,327 - Ah, brain freeze. - Montez Walker 77 00:03:25,395 --> 00:03:26,995 - on the invite list? - Never. 78 00:03:27,156 --> 00:03:30,990 How about I give you $200? 79 00:03:31,004 --> 00:03:33,060 Y'all talk about that. 80 00:03:33,106 --> 00:03:35,354 No, no, no, no, no. We can't spend that much money, 81 00:03:35,422 --> 00:03:36,815 because then we won't have enough money 82 00:03:36,827 --> 00:03:39,153 for the cowboy hats, and if we don't have cowboy hats, 83 00:03:39,183 --> 00:03:40,933 how am I gonna save a horse, ride a cowgirl? 84 00:03:40,964 --> 00:03:43,158 If we have a hovercraft, we don't need cowboy hats. 85 00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:45,013 - Yeah. - Hovercrafts are aphrodisiacs. 86 00:03:45,044 --> 00:03:47,388 They're basically... oysters of the ocean. 87 00:03:47,425 --> 00:03:48,188 Yummy. 88 00:03:48,216 --> 00:03:50,197 Yeah, I guess you're right. Plus, you know what? 89 00:03:50,217 --> 00:03:53,479 We could charge people money to ride on the hovercraft 90 00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:56,426 and also money to take pictures with the Chupacabraj. 91 00:03:56,468 --> 00:03:58,369 At this point now, we're making money. 92 00:03:58,462 --> 00:03:59,963 We're making money off our party. 93 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,451 Guys, we could just buy it and return it next week. 94 00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:07,287 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I heard that. 95 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,607 No refunds around here. 96 00:04:09,674 --> 00:04:13,344 - All sales final. - How did he hear that? 97 00:04:13,411 --> 00:04:16,347 $450, plus you throw in 98 00:04:16,414 --> 00:04:18,682 all the straw cowboy hats we can eat, and that's a deal. 99 00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:22,486 And whatever's in arm's reach. 100 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,989 - And this--this suit. - Whoa, cool! 101 00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,256 - Sold! - Okay! 102 00:04:26,324 --> 00:04:27,825 - Yes! - But you be careful 103 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,393 in that suit. It's powerful. 104 00:04:29,461 --> 00:04:31,295 It makes women just... 105 00:04:31,363 --> 00:04:32,863 They just 106 00:04:32,931 --> 00:04:35,032 Waymond! Get over here and get a sendoff picture 107 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,034 - like we at the Saturn dealer. - There we go. 108 00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:39,870 - All right. - Charge that to the game. 109 00:04:39,938 --> 00:04:42,106 Cool. 110 00:04:42,173 --> 00:04:43,540 All right, Ders, fire this puppy up. 111 00:04:43,608 --> 00:04:44,775 - Whoo! - You got it! 112 00:04:44,843 --> 00:04:46,043 Here we go. 113 00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:48,512 - Land-ho! - Ahoy! 114 00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:51,715 Oh, captain, this is going down! 115 00:04:51,783 --> 00:04:53,150 I don't like when your mom visits. 116 00:04:53,218 --> 00:04:54,551 She's always flirting with me. 117 00:04:54,619 --> 00:04:55,953 She's got those big titties like you. 118 00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:59,390 - No sale! - What in the is going-- 119 00:04:59,457 --> 00:05:01,801 We want our $450 back, 120 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:03,313 because the hovercraft you sold us 121 00:05:03,361 --> 00:05:05,646 catches fire way too easily. 122 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,181 I told y'all no refunds. 123 00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:09,279 Ain't that right, way-way? 124 00:05:09,349 --> 00:05:11,450 - He heard me. - We don't want refunds. 125 00:05:11,481 --> 00:05:13,562 We want our money back so we can buy a hovercraft 126 00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:14,656 that actually flies. 127 00:05:14,728 --> 00:05:15,994 - Mm-hmm. - In the water. 128 00:05:16,084 --> 00:05:17,651 - Wat--water flight. - Mm-hmm. 129 00:05:17,719 --> 00:05:19,519 Yeah, that's right. Our pool party's ruined. 130 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,221 Now it's just guys with cowboy hats 131 00:05:21,289 --> 00:05:23,390 squirting each other. That's bad. 132 00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:25,559 - And? - Well... 133 00:05:25,627 --> 00:05:29,396 We'll sue you. We'll take everything you've got. 134 00:05:29,464 --> 00:05:31,131 - That's a really good idea. - Thanks. 135 00:05:31,199 --> 00:05:32,566 That's why he's the brains of the operation. 136 00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:34,368 You want to get judge Joe Brown on it? 137 00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,136 You want some judge Judy up your booty? 138 00:05:36,204 --> 00:05:37,671 You better lawyer up. 139 00:05:37,739 --> 00:05:40,040 - You better lawyer up. - ♪ Lawyer up 140 00:05:40,108 --> 00:05:42,910 - ♪ You better lawyer up! - There's no lawyers 141 00:05:42,977 --> 00:05:44,711 - in small claims court. - What? 142 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,147 - Then lawyer down, okay? - Yeah, so lawyer down. 143 00:05:47,215 --> 00:05:49,416 You know what? We're gonna see you in court, man. 144 00:05:49,484 --> 00:05:51,151 - See you there. - No, we will. 145 00:05:51,219 --> 00:05:52,786 - We'll see you in court. - Oh, well, bring it. 146 00:05:52,854 --> 00:05:54,054 Yeah, fine, we will bring it. 147 00:05:54,122 --> 00:05:55,489 - Fine, then. - Mm. 148 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,257 Yo, what the you did right there? 149 00:05:57,325 --> 00:05:58,725 That's my cactus! 150 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,394 You want to go in the garbage can? 151 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,929 - Sorry. - Sorry, Jet Set. 152 00:06:01,996 --> 00:06:03,664 We thought it was his cactus. We didn't know. 153 00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:05,465 Now y'all get out of my house. 154 00:06:05,507 --> 00:06:06,589 Have a good day. 155 00:06:06,628 --> 00:06:11,319 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for DEMAND by antibio 156 00:06:15,568 --> 00:06:16,802 Move it along, people. 157 00:06:16,869 --> 00:06:18,704 We got a big-time lawyer coming through. 158 00:06:18,771 --> 00:06:20,138 Guys, I applied to law school. 159 00:06:20,206 --> 00:06:21,840 I didn't even get accepted anywhere. 160 00:06:21,908 --> 00:06:24,276 Well, that's not true. You got accepted in our hearts. 161 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:27,312 No homo, pro bono. That's a lawyer term, right? 162 00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:29,314 I'm gonna say it again. I have no idea. 163 00:06:29,382 --> 00:06:31,049 I don't know. I don't know. 164 00:06:31,117 --> 00:06:32,884 I don't understand how you don't know, 165 00:06:32,952 --> 00:06:35,520 because you've seen every episode of Franklin & Bash. 166 00:06:35,588 --> 00:06:37,022 - Who hasn't? - That's true. 167 00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:38,457 That's a good show. Really good show. 168 00:06:38,524 --> 00:06:41,526 Ders, you have a briefcase. Use that. 169 00:06:41,594 --> 00:06:43,195 I do have a briefcase. 170 00:06:43,262 --> 00:06:45,964 We bought a hovercraft for a party that we can't have. 171 00:06:46,032 --> 00:06:47,466 You know how sad that makes me? 172 00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:51,436 - Lawyer the sadness away. - I will, man. 173 00:06:51,504 --> 00:06:54,806 - This your bag? - Uh, yes, sir, it is. 174 00:06:54,874 --> 00:06:56,374 - That was salty. - I'm gonna have to search it. 175 00:06:56,442 --> 00:06:58,944 Oh, uh, yeah, go ahead. 176 00:06:59,011 --> 00:07:01,213 - Sure, yeah, of course. - Oh, damn! 177 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,281 Yeah, pretty freaky, right? It's a, uh-- 178 00:07:03,349 --> 00:07:05,617 It's actually a Rancho Chupacabraj. 179 00:07:05,685 --> 00:07:08,353 Uh, but I have to take it with me. It's evidence in a... 180 00:07:08,421 --> 00:07:13,892 Uh... well, a--a dude having sex with a Chupacabraj case, so... 181 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,794 - Get out of here. - All right. 182 00:07:15,862 --> 00:07:17,796 - Thanks, sir. - He found it covered in jizz. 183 00:07:17,864 --> 00:07:20,632 We're not sure what--animal jizz or human jizz, we're not sure. 184 00:07:25,271 --> 00:07:26,738 You've all been sworn in. 185 00:07:26,806 --> 00:07:28,473 Gentlemen, I've read your complaint. 186 00:07:28,541 --> 00:07:31,042 Do you have anything to add other than your claim 187 00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:32,677 of boat fraud in the first degree, 188 00:07:32,745 --> 00:07:35,447 which I'd like to point out is not real thing? 189 00:07:35,515 --> 00:07:37,382 Well, we're here to prove that it is, your honor. 190 00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:40,118 If I may, I'm gonna stand. 191 00:07:40,186 --> 00:07:42,187 I'd like to, uh, address the jury here. 192 00:07:42,255 --> 00:07:45,490 Uh, plaintiff, uh, this isn't a jury trial. 193 00:07:45,558 --> 00:07:46,792 They're here awaiting their cases. 194 00:07:46,859 --> 00:07:48,894 - These people? - Uh-huh. 195 00:07:48,961 --> 00:07:50,896 Thank you, judge Tibbles. 196 00:07:50,963 --> 00:07:52,798 Ladies and gentlemen of the esteemed court, 197 00:07:52,865 --> 00:07:55,734 two dudes with some bodacious ponytails. 198 00:07:55,802 --> 00:07:58,470 - 22 inches and counting. - Dude. 199 00:07:58,538 --> 00:08:00,505 This is 19 inches. It's longer than yours. 200 00:08:00,573 --> 00:08:01,807 - No, it's not. - I measured it 201 00:08:01,874 --> 00:08:03,241 - from the base up here. - I measured it 202 00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:04,709 from the top of my forehead. 203 00:08:04,777 --> 00:08:08,513 I have but one word: 204 00:08:08,581 --> 00:08:11,983 "Justice." Right? 205 00:08:12,051 --> 00:08:14,085 Just. Us. 206 00:08:14,153 --> 00:08:16,221 It's just us on this planet earth. 207 00:08:16,289 --> 00:08:18,223 We're alone, so... 208 00:08:18,291 --> 00:08:20,492 We need to trust each other. 209 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,062 Trust. Us. 210 00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:26,331 Rhymes, so you know that it's real. 211 00:08:26,399 --> 00:08:30,035 Which brings me to the question... 212 00:08:30,102 --> 00:08:32,704 Are we human... 213 00:08:32,772 --> 00:08:35,841 Or are we dancers? 214 00:08:35,908 --> 00:08:37,676 Plaintiff, is there any additional evidence 215 00:08:37,743 --> 00:08:39,544 besides the defective hovercraft? 216 00:08:39,612 --> 00:08:41,246 No, but look, I was having a good time. 217 00:08:41,314 --> 00:08:43,415 The problem is that this guy sold us a bunk hovercraft, 218 00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,183 and now we're gonna have a sausage fest 219 00:08:45,251 --> 00:08:47,185 with no bikinis and no straw cowboy hats, 220 00:08:47,253 --> 00:08:48,753 and I don't think you're being fair. 221 00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:50,322 This isn't fair. 222 00:08:50,389 --> 00:08:52,858 Mr. Walker, how do you respond to the accusation? 223 00:08:52,925 --> 00:08:57,362 Your honor, I know your time is valuable, so I will be brief. 224 00:08:57,430 --> 00:09:00,398 Um, this here is a textbook witch hunt-- 225 00:09:00,466 --> 00:09:03,668 - How's he sound so real? - That will clearly exonerate me 226 00:09:03,736 --> 00:09:07,172 from all these prejudicious and unfair charges. 227 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,807 This isn't a race thing, sir. 228 00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:10,475 - May I approach the bench? - Proceed. 229 00:09:10,543 --> 00:09:12,244 - He knows exactly... - You're dumb. 230 00:09:12,311 --> 00:09:15,413 Your honor, as you can see, in nine separate locations, 231 00:09:15,481 --> 00:09:18,884 in accordance with our great law, is my signs. 232 00:09:18,951 --> 00:09:21,386 Ders, why aren't you using the briefcase? 233 00:09:21,454 --> 00:09:22,921 There's nothing inside the briefcase 234 00:09:22,989 --> 00:09:25,257 except for golf pencils and baseball cards, 235 00:09:25,324 --> 00:09:26,925 and slim Jim dare. 236 00:09:26,993 --> 00:09:28,760 Slim Jim dare really freaking hot beef jerky, 237 00:09:28,828 --> 00:09:30,495 and you didn't give us any of that. 238 00:09:30,563 --> 00:09:32,179 This is the jalapeno kind, and you didn't give-- 239 00:09:32,198 --> 00:09:33,973 - You didn't even think-- - Gentlemen, please. 240 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,907 This is a court of law. It's not a feeding trough. 241 00:09:36,938 --> 00:09:39,440 I had one. I had--this one was out. 242 00:09:39,658 --> 00:09:42,211 - I just--okay. - No, no, dude, dude, come on. 243 00:09:42,241 --> 00:09:44,010 I think you're making a very good case here. 244 00:09:44,035 --> 00:09:45,817 Okay, Ders's lawyering didn't work, 245 00:09:45,859 --> 00:09:49,028 so it's time for me to do some liar-ing. 246 00:09:50,327 --> 00:09:52,028 - I'm gonna lie. - Oh, cool. 247 00:09:52,096 --> 00:09:53,556 Your honor, 248 00:09:53,686 --> 00:09:57,722 I do declare that we have a star witness 249 00:09:57,790 --> 00:10:01,359 that we would like to call to the stand. 250 00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:05,002 - To the what? - To the stand. 251 00:10:05,035 --> 00:10:06,642 I don't understand the word you're saying. 252 00:10:06,662 --> 00:10:08,848 To the stand, to the stand. 253 00:10:08,913 --> 00:10:11,464 And we all were just screaming, "Montez, stop," 254 00:10:11,482 --> 00:10:14,725 and he just continued to squeeze the life 255 00:10:14,756 --> 00:10:16,957 out of the poor little girl scout's dalmatian. 256 00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:20,139 - It was--it was disgusting. - What? 257 00:10:20,159 --> 00:10:22,326 - Can we get back to the case? - Your honor. 258 00:10:22,394 --> 00:10:24,662 We are just here to tell the truth, the whole truth, 259 00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:26,831 and nothing but the truth about a vile 260 00:10:26,899 --> 00:10:30,334 and disgusting man who was trying to ruin our party. 261 00:10:30,402 --> 00:10:32,503 Could you use your regular voice, please? 262 00:10:32,571 --> 00:10:34,005 This young lady 263 00:10:34,073 --> 00:10:35,773 knows where I'm coming from, 264 00:10:35,841 --> 00:10:38,409 - don't you, doll? - Huh? 265 00:10:38,477 --> 00:10:40,078 Do you like pool parties, miss? 266 00:10:40,145 --> 00:10:41,412 Yeah. 267 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,514 And are you available this Saturday, 268 00:10:43,582 --> 00:10:47,752 and may I remind you you are under oath? 269 00:10:47,820 --> 00:10:50,855 I guess I don't have any plans. 270 00:10:50,923 --> 00:10:52,457 Can we get back to the case please? 271 00:10:52,524 --> 00:10:54,125 Your honor, I'm just making sure 272 00:10:54,193 --> 00:10:57,662 that everybody in here is being truthful, 273 00:10:57,729 --> 00:11:02,133 such as myself holding on to my nine-inch lap-hog, 274 00:11:02,201 --> 00:11:06,838 which must be a true thing since I am also under oath. 275 00:11:06,905 --> 00:11:08,906 Uh, yeah, we all have really big dongs. 276 00:11:08,974 --> 00:11:10,808 - I swear on a stack of bibles. - My dick's big. 277 00:11:10,876 --> 00:11:14,078 I believe we've had enough lap-hog talk for one lifetime. 278 00:11:14,146 --> 00:11:15,813 I'm sorry, your honor. Did you guys see 279 00:11:15,881 --> 00:11:18,983 the "No refund" signs at the garage sale, or no? 280 00:11:19,051 --> 00:11:20,518 I certainly did not see a sign-- 281 00:11:20,586 --> 00:11:23,654 - That is a lie! - I should warn you gentlemen 282 00:11:23,722 --> 00:11:26,324 that perjury laws are swift and severe. 283 00:11:26,391 --> 00:11:29,694 Mm-hmm, swift willy style, all in there. 284 00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:31,429 You may sit down. 285 00:11:31,497 --> 00:11:33,331 Does the defense have any response? 286 00:11:33,398 --> 00:11:36,267 Yes, I do. I also have a star witness 287 00:11:36,335 --> 00:11:37,702 who can prove beyond a reasonable doubt 288 00:11:37,769 --> 00:11:39,537 that these sucker-necks are lying. 289 00:11:39,605 --> 00:11:43,541 Defense calls Waymond Womano. 290 00:11:43,609 --> 00:11:45,143 Oh, [Bleep], this is bad. 291 00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:46,811 He saw everything. We can't let him testify. 292 00:11:46,879 --> 00:11:48,513 If he testifies, we're gonna go to jail for perjury. 293 00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:51,549 - You should've told me that. - I thought you knew. 294 00:11:51,617 --> 00:11:54,118 I choose to accept this mission. 295 00:11:54,186 --> 00:11:56,020 Uh... 296 00:12:00,459 --> 00:12:02,860 State your name for the court record, please. 297 00:12:02,928 --> 00:12:04,795 What the heck's that? 298 00:12:07,499 --> 00:12:08,833 What the... 299 00:12:08,901 --> 00:12:10,067 What the hell? 300 00:12:10,135 --> 00:12:11,869 Court is adjourned till tomorrow. 301 00:12:11,937 --> 00:12:13,804 Yeah. 302 00:12:13,872 --> 00:12:16,574 Adjourning's the best. Obviously we're adjourning 303 00:12:16,642 --> 00:12:18,576 'cause you have rats in your vents. 304 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,197 That's the first smart thing you done all day. 305 00:12:20,222 --> 00:12:21,522 You're at the courthouse. 306 00:12:21,543 --> 00:12:23,224 Y'all slick, you're real slick. 307 00:12:23,248 --> 00:12:24,749 I know y'all threw that dookie bag. 308 00:12:24,816 --> 00:12:27,251 But we back tomorrow, and Waymond is pissed. 309 00:12:27,319 --> 00:12:29,320 You messed up his church shoes, and look at my good suit. 310 00:12:29,388 --> 00:12:30,888 How about we settle out of court? 311 00:12:30,956 --> 00:12:32,390 You know, we'll take you to Ruby Tuesday's, 312 00:12:32,457 --> 00:12:34,192 we'll buy you a root-beer and a burger. 313 00:12:34,259 --> 00:12:36,294 The only thing y'all gonna be eating is ass salad. 314 00:12:36,361 --> 00:12:39,530 Talking about prison for in and around 30 days. 315 00:12:39,554 --> 00:12:41,021 Good luck. 316 00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:42,867 Oh, man, we're going to jail, 317 00:12:42,897 --> 00:12:45,947 and I never got to Eiffel Tower a chick with one of you guys. 318 00:12:45,981 --> 00:12:47,857 We're not gonna go to jail if Waymond doesn't testify. 319 00:12:47,881 --> 00:12:48,948 Oh, we're eating ass salad, man. 320 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,448 I'm gonna have a big bowl of ass salad. 321 00:12:51,491 --> 00:12:54,262 You heard Tez. Waymond's snitching tomorrow. 322 00:12:54,501 --> 00:12:56,420 Not we get to him tonight. 323 00:13:08,994 --> 00:13:10,528 Shut up, stay right there! 324 00:13:10,596 --> 00:13:12,797 - And drive! - Whoops! Hey! 325 00:13:12,864 --> 00:13:14,832 Don't talk though. Don't talk though. 326 00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:23,511 Waymond Womano, we can't be responsible 327 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:26,011 for what happens if you show up in court tomorrow. 328 00:13:26,161 --> 00:13:30,531 But we can be very responsible if you-- 329 00:13:30,549 --> 00:13:32,793 if you don't... do that. 330 00:13:32,821 --> 00:13:35,473 Yeah, stick your hand in this bag. 331 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:39,418 Do it! You feel that? Those are the eyeballs of kids 332 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,086 that we plucked out of their heads! 333 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,288 And this? This is intestines. 334 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,856 No, Blake. We're, uh-- 335 00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:47,960 Dude #1, we told you he's not blindfolded. 336 00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:50,862 He's not blindfolded. He can see that it's spaghetti. 337 00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:55,434 Well, this is spaghetti that a dude was eating, 338 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,869 - but we killed him. - Yeah! 339 00:13:57,937 --> 00:13:59,471 And we'll kill you too. 340 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,274 - Yeah, we killed his ass. - Are you ready to die? 341 00:14:02,511 --> 00:14:03,811 Oh, that's the game you want to play? 342 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,614 - Oh, okay. - Dig your own grave, bud. 343 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,248 Yeah, dig the fricking grave, 344 00:14:07,316 --> 00:14:09,785 you marshmallow-looking mother. 345 00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,290 - What? - Heh, heh... 346 00:14:15,358 --> 00:14:17,592 - Little help? - Oh. 347 00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:18,994 - Just throw--hurry up. - Yeah. 348 00:14:19,061 --> 00:14:21,280 - Go falcons! - Thank you. 349 00:14:21,384 --> 00:14:23,385 Hey, nice arm. 350 00:14:24,278 --> 00:14:25,878 It's a shovel, not a broom. 351 00:14:25,902 --> 00:14:27,769 - Come on, jeez. - That's what you got? 352 00:14:27,837 --> 00:14:30,605 Harder. He's throwing it on his shoe--shoes. 353 00:14:30,673 --> 00:14:33,441 You really suck at this. He sucks at this. 354 00:14:33,509 --> 00:14:35,310 Jesus Christ, you're horrible. 355 00:14:35,378 --> 00:14:36,745 I'm actually not very good either. 356 00:14:36,813 --> 00:14:37,979 Well, you're holding the spaghetti. 357 00:14:38,047 --> 00:14:39,915 We told you not to bring the spaghetti. 358 00:14:39,982 --> 00:14:41,845 I'm gonna go get some more shovels. 359 00:14:41,877 --> 00:14:42,659 Yeah. 360 00:14:42,685 --> 00:14:44,319 I'm actually really proud of us, guys. 361 00:14:44,387 --> 00:14:46,075 This hole is freaking impressive. 362 00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,963 - It's crazy. - Whoa, dude, look, 363 00:14:47,975 --> 00:14:50,151 you're gonna kill yourself if you don't start lifting 364 00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:51,760 with your body instead of your arm muscles. 365 00:14:51,828 --> 00:14:53,762 Well, my arm muscles are my body, Ders. 366 00:14:53,830 --> 00:14:55,480 In fact, I think they're most of it. 367 00:14:55,498 --> 00:14:57,903 I think we can all agree that the most important thing 368 00:14:57,934 --> 00:14:59,601 to do is come from the top here. 369 00:14:59,643 --> 00:15:01,116 - Yeah. - Because all the leverage 370 00:15:01,122 --> 00:15:02,322 when you're going--ow! 371 00:15:02,632 --> 00:15:03,632 - Aah! - Wait, what happened? 372 00:15:03,649 --> 00:15:05,349 - I think... - What happened? 373 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,999 - Splinter. - Oh, yeah, yeah. 374 00:15:07,026 --> 00:15:08,855 That's painful, that's painful, that's very painful. 375 00:15:08,911 --> 00:15:10,745 Waymond? Waymond? Wait, Waymond! 376 00:15:10,813 --> 00:15:12,480 - Waymond! - Waymond! 377 00:15:12,548 --> 00:15:16,451 Waymond, wait, wait! Maybe we went too far! 378 00:15:16,519 --> 00:15:18,687 Uh, we were just trying to scare you out of testifying. 379 00:15:18,754 --> 00:15:20,155 It's us, the bull boys! 380 00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:22,424 Well, we shouldn't have let him wait 381 00:15:22,491 --> 00:15:25,160 - in the car to get warm. - Really boner move on our part. 382 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:26,995 Yeah, now we're gonna go to prison for perjury. 383 00:15:27,063 --> 00:15:28,797 - And liar-ing even. - Oh, man. 384 00:15:28,865 --> 00:15:33,134 Hot dudes like us do not do well in prison, guys. 385 00:15:33,202 --> 00:15:36,805 We are like three fresh meat butt sticks just waiting 386 00:15:36,873 --> 00:15:40,242 - for a dry rub. - Oh, God, Blake's right. 387 00:15:40,309 --> 00:15:42,577 His American Idol hairdo, your norse-ness. 388 00:15:42,645 --> 00:15:46,114 My pecs, my hammies. My gluts, man! 389 00:15:46,182 --> 00:15:47,916 They're just waiting for a good dicking. 390 00:15:47,984 --> 00:15:49,851 - Oh, we're gonna get pounded. - Maybe, like, 391 00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:51,486 over time, it, like-- it gets okay. 392 00:15:51,554 --> 00:15:53,488 It's just skin after all, right? 393 00:15:53,556 --> 00:15:55,156 - What? - I don't know. 394 00:15:55,224 --> 00:15:57,158 I'm just trying to be, like, a "glass half full" guy. 395 00:15:57,226 --> 00:16:00,061 You're gonna have an ass half full of prison. 396 00:16:00,129 --> 00:16:01,296 So what should we do right now? 397 00:16:01,364 --> 00:16:02,764 Should we go get hamburgers? 398 00:16:02,832 --> 00:16:04,766 Eat a bunch of hamburgers right now and get fat? 399 00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:07,159 So the dudes won't want to butt-fun us? 400 00:16:07,215 --> 00:16:09,185 - We'll get fat, we'll get ugly. - We have to beat the pretty 401 00:16:09,216 --> 00:16:10,493 out of each other. 402 00:16:10,545 --> 00:16:12,613 All right, well, how do we go about doing that? 403 00:16:12,743 --> 00:16:15,137 I don't know. What do you say, we count to three, 404 00:16:15,162 --> 00:16:18,037 and all, like, just punch each other, same time? 405 00:16:18,055 --> 00:16:19,244 - To the right? - Yeah, to the right. 406 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,742 I don't want to call you guys bitches, 407 00:16:20,766 --> 00:16:23,537 but you guys are bitches. 408 00:16:23,994 --> 00:16:25,051 You're bitches. 409 00:16:25,095 --> 00:16:27,625 You guys wouldn't be able to hurt me, my face is very hard. 410 00:16:27,733 --> 00:16:31,017 Growing up, all the bullies were, like, "Holy, man. 411 00:16:31,068 --> 00:16:32,402 - Your face so hard." - Right. 412 00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,032 "It hurts my hand when I punch." 413 00:16:34,066 --> 00:16:35,808 I need something much harder to hit it. 414 00:16:35,865 --> 00:16:39,383 - Whoa! Uh... - Dude, whoa. 415 00:16:39,497 --> 00:16:41,213 - You want me to blast you? - No, no, no. 416 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,074 Let's just, uh, we'll tell him we fought. 417 00:16:43,129 --> 00:16:44,911 - No, yeah, good--good call. - You all right, man? 418 00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:46,057 Adam, Adam, you okay? 419 00:16:46,093 --> 00:16:47,287 - Adam. - Sorry. 420 00:16:47,322 --> 00:16:49,891 Come on, okay, oh... 421 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,385 Did I get you? Did I get you good? 422 00:16:51,404 --> 00:16:52,771 - Did I get you good? - Uh, no. 423 00:16:52,838 --> 00:16:55,306 But Ders got me a-- a cracked rib for sure. 424 00:16:55,374 --> 00:16:57,275 We fought, and, uh, Blake curbed me. 425 00:16:57,343 --> 00:16:58,662 - Just destroyed my face. - Yeah, twice. 426 00:16:58,714 --> 00:17:00,724 I can see that. I can see that. 427 00:17:00,807 --> 00:17:02,241 You look bad, dude. You look bad. 428 00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:03,848 - Okay, let's-- - You look bad, dude. 429 00:17:03,916 --> 00:17:05,483 - This way. - This--yeah. 430 00:17:05,551 --> 00:17:07,393 - Let's go home. - Whoo! 431 00:17:07,513 --> 00:17:09,506 Oh, great, the sun's coming up soon. 432 00:17:09,626 --> 00:17:11,875 Guess we'll be walking straight to the courthouse. 433 00:17:20,449 --> 00:17:22,350 Hey, guys, when the judge reads our sentences, 434 00:17:22,418 --> 00:17:24,519 - just don't cry. - Yeah, definitely. 435 00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:25,967 Band of brajs, we got this. 436 00:17:26,019 --> 00:17:27,737 Does it smell like burnt tires in here? 437 00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:29,386 Smell, like, a little like something's burning? 438 00:17:29,414 --> 00:17:30,658 - No. - Nice of you 439 00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:32,610 - to join us, gentlemen. - Sorry, your honor, 440 00:17:32,678 --> 00:17:35,780 but took a one-and-a-half in my pants on the elevator. 441 00:17:35,848 --> 00:17:37,949 Yes, that, uh, definitely happened, 442 00:17:38,017 --> 00:17:39,951 but we won't bother you with our whole morning. 443 00:17:40,019 --> 00:17:41,653 - No, uh... - That's why we're late, 444 00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:43,424 'cause I-I-I and pissed my pants-- 445 00:17:43,454 --> 00:17:45,516 - Adam, don't. 446 00:17:45,658 --> 00:17:46,958 We're ready to take responsibility 447 00:17:47,026 --> 00:17:49,594 for whatever Waymond told you we did. 448 00:17:49,662 --> 00:17:52,097 Before Mr. Womano testifies, I understand that he has 449 00:17:52,164 --> 00:17:55,533 some physical evidence that may be pertinent to this case. 450 00:17:55,601 --> 00:17:57,669 I got pictures of y'all in front of my signs. 451 00:17:57,737 --> 00:18:00,338 You gonna fry. Some ass salad. 452 00:18:07,375 --> 00:18:10,913 I mean... 453 00:18:12,305 --> 00:18:14,567 Whoo, wow, I'm hairy. 454 00:18:14,605 --> 00:18:16,499 I fail to see the relevance of any of this. 455 00:18:16,854 --> 00:18:19,289 Sir, my wife Colleen is taking a photography class 456 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:22,209 at the learning annex and she needed a sexy model, so... 457 00:18:22,283 --> 00:18:23,651 Just move ahead at your discretion. 458 00:18:24,743 --> 00:18:27,168 Oh, bam! There it is! 459 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,593 Well, would you look at that? Seems like Mr. Walker's 460 00:18:29,611 --> 00:18:31,445 been telling the truth the whole time. 461 00:18:31,526 --> 00:18:34,061 Oh, this one has a little "play" icon in the corner. 462 00:18:34,172 --> 00:18:36,473 Shall I play it and see what we can surmise from this? 463 00:18:38,978 --> 00:18:42,871 Did you see Monteezy work his magic? 464 00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:44,981 I sold these fools a broke-ass hovercraft. 465 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,174 That's what they get for never inviting me to their parties. 466 00:18:47,190 --> 00:18:49,725 Now let's go get some tacos and free smoothies. 467 00:18:50,418 --> 00:18:52,235 You're killing me, Waymond! 468 00:18:52,986 --> 00:18:54,500 After reviewing the evidence, 469 00:18:54,518 --> 00:18:57,356 the court finds in favor of the plaintiffs. 470 00:18:57,460 --> 00:18:59,895 The defendant is ordered to pay repair costs 471 00:18:59,925 --> 00:19:01,831 in their entirety. 472 00:19:01,906 --> 00:19:03,825 Did you just see the video? 473 00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:05,682 You won, gentlemen. 474 00:19:06,481 --> 00:19:08,487 - What? Oh! - We won? 475 00:19:08,641 --> 00:19:09,841 - Whoo! - We did it! 476 00:19:09,909 --> 00:19:12,610 Whoo, we won! We won! 477 00:19:12,678 --> 00:19:15,847 Whoo, this party sucks! 478 00:19:15,915 --> 00:19:19,617 All right, a maniac, I like it, very cool. 479 00:19:19,653 --> 00:19:22,444 Hey, don't be shy, dudes. Come on up and take a picture 480 00:19:22,488 --> 00:19:26,221 with the picture of the Rancho Chupacabraj. 481 00:19:26,253 --> 00:19:28,002 Come on, we got one picture for $10, 482 00:19:28,027 --> 00:19:30,583 two pictures for $5, so... 483 00:19:30,725 --> 00:19:33,660 Just take two. Two. It's a cheaper deal. 484 00:19:33,766 --> 00:19:36,134 Yo, blaze, any day now. 485 00:19:36,202 --> 00:19:38,058 - Oh, yeah. - Hey, guys, 486 00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:39,811 I just want to, uh, take this opportunity 487 00:19:39,837 --> 00:19:43,140 to say welcome to our premier beach house party of the summer! 488 00:19:43,189 --> 00:19:45,758 Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! 489 00:19:45,788 --> 00:19:47,607 Okay, you guys don't seem amped, and I get that. 490 00:19:47,626 --> 00:19:50,668 It's about 98% to 99% dudes here. 491 00:19:50,686 --> 00:19:51,781 - It's mostly dudes. - Yeah. 492 00:19:51,812 --> 00:19:54,918 That's okay, though, 'cause once this bitch gets soaring, 493 00:19:54,987 --> 00:19:57,125 - it's gonna be a chick stampede. - That's right. 494 00:19:57,149 --> 00:19:59,013 Let's take off those straw cowboy hats, though, 495 00:19:59,022 --> 00:20:00,355 'cause those are for the chicks. 496 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,834 - Hey, look! - Oh! Oh! 497 00:20:01,902 --> 00:20:03,703 - Hey, come in! - No, no. 498 00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:06,038 - Yeah, yeah, she's with me. - Let's go, let's go. 499 00:20:06,106 --> 00:20:08,607 this. 500 00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:21,120 - Aah! - Oh... 501 00:20:21,188 --> 00:20:22,788 That was not our fault. 502 00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:24,429 - Oh, fudge. - That's not our fault. 503 00:20:24,453 --> 00:20:26,454 Oh, my God. Are you--are you boys okay? 504 00:20:26,472 --> 00:20:28,359 Yeah, if you mean almost getting decapitated 505 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:31,630 by your sharp-ass fence, then yeah. Ow! Ow! 506 00:20:31,673 --> 00:20:33,627 Why is your fence so sharp, dude? 507 00:20:33,654 --> 00:20:36,354 Are you kidding? You just drove a boat through my yard. 508 00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:39,139 Well, we'll just have to see how that holds up 509 00:20:39,182 --> 00:20:41,120 - in small claims court. - Whoo! 510 00:20:41,141 --> 00:20:45,054 Yeah, that's right. You better lawyer down, sir. 511 00:20:45,085 --> 00:20:47,493 I am a lawyer. And with this kind of damage, 512 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,376 I'm gonna bring you to big boy court. 513 00:20:49,508 --> 00:20:52,770 Well, then,[Bleep], sir. 514 00:20:52,805 --> 00:20:54,639 Nice. 515 00:20:54,757 --> 00:20:59,795 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for DEMAND by antibio