1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:05,172
So Lance Bass, I think,
was originally the star,
2
00:00:05,291 --> 00:00:07,060
and then Justin Timberlake,
like, knocked him
3
00:00:07,083 --> 00:00:07,860
off his throne.
4
00:00:07,887 --> 00:00:09,551
Yeah, and he went and started
the Backstreet Boys.
5
00:00:09,589 --> 00:00:10,874
- No.
- Mm-hmm.
6
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,303
Well, then who's
in the Backstreet Boys?
7
00:00:13,428 --> 00:00:14,429
Josh.
8
00:00:14,554 --> 00:00:16,666
Joshua? Yeah, Josh was
the star of the Backstreet Boys.
9
00:00:16,791 --> 00:00:17,771
Dude, and he's still doing it.
10
00:00:17,896 --> 00:00:19,587
- Yeah, he's a talent.
- He had a single...
11
00:00:20,650 --> 00:00:22,047
Homegirl's passed out.
12
00:00:22,213 --> 00:00:24,242
Man, I would not
be sleeping on the job
13
00:00:24,367 --> 00:00:25,977
if I was the self-proclaimed
office prankster.
14
00:00:26,102 --> 00:00:27,479
Seriously.
15
00:00:27,604 --> 00:00:29,013
Especially a week after
she put Fluffernutter
16
00:00:29,138 --> 00:00:30,848
on my friggin' headset.
17
00:00:30,973 --> 00:00:32,391
- [Chuckles]
- And spermicide on my doughnut.
18
00:00:32,557 --> 00:00:34,477
Those were funny, dude.
19
00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:36,437
It's payback time.
20
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:39,607
♪ I'm gonna be the biggest monkey ♪
21
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:42,860
♪ I'm gonna be the biggest
monkey of 'em all ♪
22
00:00:42,985 --> 00:00:45,696
♪ All your biting and your
barking will be in vain ♪
23
00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:49,165
♪ You see me standing right
on top of the food chain ♪
24
00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:52,995
- [Laughs]
- [Slurps]
25
00:00:53,161 --> 00:00:54,872
♪ I'm gonna make
the other monkeys fear me ♪
26
00:00:55,038 --> 00:00:57,273
[Imitating Homegirl]
"Four inches is fine!"
27
00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:59,642
♪ Be the biggest monkey ♪
28
00:00:59,918 --> 00:01:02,505
♪ I'm gonna be the biggest
monkey of 'em all now ♪
29
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,465
[Click]
30
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,592
What are you idiots doing?
31
00:01:06,758 --> 00:01:07,802
I don't have a pulse.
32
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:08,928
[Telephone rings]
33
00:01:09,094 --> 00:01:10,930
[Radio chatter]
34
00:01:11,096 --> 00:01:14,857
[Defibrillator powers on and zaps]
35
00:01:14,982 --> 00:01:16,779
Uh... Honeybun?
36
00:01:18,353 --> 00:01:30,199
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
37
00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:32,840
- Quit hogging it.
- Yeah, come on.
38
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,971
Now just be sure you get all the
ghost off of there, all right?
39
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,452
- All the ectoplasm.
- Ugh.
40
00:01:37,487 --> 00:01:39,924
- Oh, gross, dead people.
- This is weird.
41
00:01:40,041 --> 00:01:41,651
I mean, Homegirl's dead.
44
00:01:47,648 --> 00:01:49,465
That I'm the main office prankster.
45
00:01:49,551 --> 00:01:52,026
- Okay.
- Yeah, no, I did Fluffernutter,
46
00:01:52,118 --> 00:01:54,570
spermicide, that's my shib.
47
00:01:54,621 --> 00:01:55,891
I'm the main office prankster.
48
00:01:56,057 --> 00:01:57,232
I'm glad I got this off my chest.
49
00:01:57,357 --> 00:01:58,394
I cannot believe
50
00:01:58,725 --> 00:02:00,521
you would pull that
spermicide prank on me.
51
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:04,005
I can't believe you knew
exactly what spermicide
52
00:02:04,130 --> 00:02:05,317
tasted like.
Ugh!
53
00:02:05,865 --> 00:02:07,528
It was a wild guess.
54
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,989
Have you been deep-throating
condoms, just to see if you can?
55
00:02:10,155 --> 00:02:12,047
- Mm-mm.
- Okay, well, I just think
56
00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:15,383
maybe the best thing to do
is remember all the great times
57
00:02:15,508 --> 00:02:17,051
- that we had with Homegirl.
- Right.
58
00:02:17,328 --> 00:02:21,755
- That's probably the...
- Mmm...
59
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,423
We never really talked.
60
00:02:23,678 --> 00:02:25,873
Mm, yeah, I don't really
remember any amazing times
61
00:02:25,892 --> 00:02:26,954
that I had with Homegirl.
62
00:02:26,985 --> 00:02:28,554
- Yeah, me neither.
- Except for that time when
63
00:02:28,590 --> 00:02:30,604
we were just tea-bagging
her eye socket a second ago.
64
00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:32,389
- [All laughing]
- That was great.
65
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:34,556
But then she ruined
it by being a dead lady.
66
00:02:34,596 --> 00:02:36,002
- Yeah.
- Yeah, she did.
67
00:02:36,127 --> 00:02:37,959
That said, still butthurt.
68
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,694
- I'm butthurt, man.
- You know the one thing
69
00:02:39,725 --> 00:02:42,282
easing my butthurtedness
is the fact that
70
00:02:42,307 --> 00:02:43,921
we're probably gonna
have work off tomorrow.
71
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:45,293
Whoa, I didn't even think of that.
72
00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:46,636
- Yes, of course we are!
- That's awesome.
73
00:02:46,660 --> 00:02:48,203
Of course we are, it's a death day.
74
00:02:48,241 --> 00:02:49,574
It's like a snow day,
but it's a death day.
75
00:02:49,598 --> 00:02:51,921
And check this out.
I got a Swedish pen pal in town.
76
00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:52,902
She's in Vegas right now.
77
00:02:52,952 --> 00:02:54,062
Wants to come to Hollywood,
78
00:02:54,112 --> 00:02:55,846
which is where I told her we live.
79
00:02:55,877 --> 00:02:57,621
- We don't.
- Smart, very smart.
80
00:02:57,646 --> 00:02:59,059
I know.
I can't say Rancho Cucamonga.
81
00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:00,659
They don't know what that is.
They're from Sweden!
82
00:03:00,685 --> 00:03:01,706
They're not gonna know.
83
00:03:01,737 --> 00:03:04,199
- Yeah, swedes don't know anything.
- Yeah, you gotta say Hollywood.
84
00:03:04,304 --> 00:03:06,711
Hey, Ders, is this the same
chick that you told us about
85
00:03:06,758 --> 00:03:08,321
where you squeezed her boob
through her sleeve
86
00:03:08,339 --> 00:03:09,983
while watching Gladiator
in your friend's basement?
87
00:03:10,028 --> 00:03:10,834
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
88
00:03:10,852 --> 00:03:13,090
And it was a long sleeve shirt,
so where's my dap at?
89
00:03:13,108 --> 00:03:14,858
Dude, I need some sleeve boob myself.
90
00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:16,149
I'm taking the other chick, too,
91
00:03:16,179 --> 00:03:19,329
and I apologize in advance
for marrying her.
92
00:03:19,371 --> 00:03:21,501
- Whoo, yes.
- Nice. Quick on the draw.
93
00:03:21,526 --> 00:03:22,831
Dap on the dibs, Demamp.
94
00:03:22,832 --> 00:03:23,938
I don't know about dap, actually.
95
00:03:23,956 --> 00:03:26,551
But I'm gonna have to say no,
because there's only one pure
96
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,964
fair way to decide who's gonna
be my bro-pilot on this one.
97
00:03:33,187 --> 00:03:34,618
87. 87!
98
00:03:34,663 --> 00:03:35,387
87?
99
00:03:35,412 --> 00:03:36,918
- I'm maxed out. 87.
- Okay.
100
00:03:36,939 --> 00:03:39,835
Okay, that's... that's
a pretty high bar, blazer.
101
00:03:39,872 --> 00:03:42,375
So that means you only have
to put on...
102
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,259
None, because I'm choosing you.
103
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:45,838
- No. No!
- You... you serious?
104
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,713
Yeah, I'm serious, dude.
You look like a professional
105
00:03:47,746 --> 00:03:48,975
skating celebrity.
106
00:03:48,999 --> 00:03:50,650
The Swedish chicks will dig that.
107
00:03:50,672 --> 00:03:52,816
Yeah, man!
Pro skater, I can do that.
108
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,718
No problem.
Blaker has a death wish.
109
00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:56,298
No, no, no.
Adam has a death wish.
110
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,261
Well, you should have thought
about that when you were putting
111
00:03:58,290 --> 00:04:00,669
spermicide on my French cruller.
112
00:04:00,715 --> 00:04:02,781
O'Ders rules!
113
00:04:02,793 --> 00:04:05,537
Blake, let's dap out of here.
114
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,832
No!
Oh!
115
00:04:08,876 --> 00:04:10,519
That hurts so bad.
116
00:04:10,725 --> 00:04:12,102
Hey, Alice?
117
00:04:12,176 --> 00:04:14,421
Can we, um, have a minute?
118
00:04:15,136 --> 00:04:16,486
Fine.
119
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:20,514
Uh, Homegirl's death, it...
120
00:04:20,702 --> 00:04:22,112
It's got us, uh...
121
00:04:22,237 --> 00:04:24,168
We're... we're pretty butthurt
about it.
122
00:04:24,202 --> 00:04:26,007
- Really?
- You know, we want to come in
123
00:04:26,026 --> 00:04:27,145
tomorrow and just
124
00:04:27,175 --> 00:04:29,798
pluck away and do our duty here,
125
00:04:29,823 --> 00:04:33,066
but I don't know
if I'm gonna sound okay
126
00:04:33,091 --> 00:04:34,933
[high pitched]
On the phones, because I can't...
127
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,139
You see, he just needs
a day to grieve...
128
00:04:37,158 --> 00:04:38,193
- Yeah.
- Have a good cry.
129
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,793
We all just need a...
Probably a good cry.
130
00:04:39,805 --> 00:04:41,415
- Just a day. One day.
- You were gonna cry too,
131
00:04:41,441 --> 00:04:43,054
- though, right?
- No, I'm... I'm probably gonna...
132
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,737
See, he's crying too now.
133
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:48,661
Yeah, okay, so if
you guys were actually up...
134
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,017
Alice! Hey, what's up?
I... it's awesome to, eh,
135
00:04:51,032 --> 00:04:53,189
run into you here.
I was just out there,
136
00:04:53,208 --> 00:04:54,726
individually talking with everyone,
137
00:04:54,819 --> 00:04:58,166
and we all agree the best way
to commemorate Homegirl's life
138
00:04:58,191 --> 00:05:00,558
and remember her is by
immediately forgetting her,
139
00:05:00,576 --> 00:05:01,752
and just working all day tomorrow.
140
00:05:01,758 --> 00:05:03,525
Okay, Adam,
don't mess this up for me.
141
00:05:03,544 --> 00:05:04,687
You know how I am with girls.
142
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:06,573
I'm like a bull in a vagina shop.
143
00:05:06,604 --> 00:05:07,911
Blake, it's not my fault
144
00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:09,639
you're not a Rico suave dude, okay?
145
00:05:09,652 --> 00:05:11,327
- I am a Rico suave...
- You are not a Rico suave...
146
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:12,976
Okay, all right, that is enough.
147
00:05:13,004 --> 00:05:15,482
Okay, I don't know what
you guys are up to,
148
00:05:15,494 --> 00:05:18,039
and I certainly don't know
what "butthurt" means.
149
00:05:18,096 --> 00:05:19,345
But guess what.
150
00:05:19,394 --> 00:05:21,705
Death happens, and it's real sad.
151
00:05:21,805 --> 00:05:24,057
And we're all still coming
into work tomorrow.
152
00:05:24,102 --> 00:05:25,859
Yes! We'll ge...
153
00:05:25,970 --> 00:05:30,306
Should we not remember
Homegirl by at least
154
00:05:30,343 --> 00:05:32,053
having some sort of service
155
00:05:32,074 --> 00:05:34,574
for friends, and co-workers,
and out-of-town guests?
156
00:05:34,612 --> 00:05:36,540
- I don't need this.
- Oh, yes.
157
00:05:36,578 --> 00:05:38,563
That would be very good.
158
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:41,207
Okay, fine.
Tomorrow, after lunch,
159
00:05:41,237 --> 00:05:42,564
you can have a thing.
160
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:43,619
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
161
00:05:43,649 --> 00:05:45,219
- We don't need a thing.
- Thank you so much.
162
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,989
This is not fa...
Alice, this is not fair!
163
00:05:47,002 --> 00:05:49,379
I am having the worst day
out of everyone
164
00:05:49,421 --> 00:05:53,009
in this entire office...
Except... except maybe Homegirl.
165
00:05:53,044 --> 00:05:58,242
We need cookies, flowers,
refreshments, beer...
166
00:05:58,267 --> 00:06:01,545
- Yes.
- Whiskey, oysters, for the,
167
00:06:01,670 --> 00:06:04,895
you know, uh, strobe light,
and some balloons that say,
168
00:06:04,945 --> 00:06:06,008
"welcome to Hollywood."
169
00:06:06,057 --> 00:06:09,786
Oh, oh, and a karaoke machine,
and extra-large...
170
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,271
Extra-medium condoms.
171
00:06:11,356 --> 00:06:13,442
I'm not gonna buy
those things, Blake.
172
00:06:13,648 --> 00:06:15,392
I can swing by my house
for that stuff.
173
00:06:15,456 --> 00:06:17,167
- All right.
- Thank you.
174
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,278
You're being timed.
Oh, here he is, grumpy bear,
175
00:06:19,302 --> 00:06:22,047
"Mr. Salty that he didn't get
a date to the dance."
176
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,266
I'm not a bear.
177
00:06:23,326 --> 00:06:24,745
- I'm a human being.
- Okay.
178
00:06:24,764 --> 00:06:26,983
I'm just excited to meet your girls.
179
00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:28,742
That should be interesting.
180
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:33,869
[Forced evil laugh]
181
00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:37,381
[Laughs]
182
00:06:44,619 --> 00:06:46,131
{pub}And just some more cookies.
183
00:06:46,150 --> 00:06:47,975
By the way, good call
on the danishes.
184
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,944
They're Swedish,
but they'll probably get it.
185
00:06:50,028 --> 00:06:52,231
Man, this place is actually
kind of popping.
186
00:06:52,356 --> 00:06:54,060
Yeah.
Ooh.
187
00:06:54,073 --> 00:06:57,918
♪ But you know it ain't a party
till Jillian brings the queso ♪
188
00:06:57,973 --> 00:06:59,269
Yeah, let's get the...
189
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,700
- Oh, speaking of the devil.
- I'm not the devil.
190
00:07:01,781 --> 00:07:03,163
Okay, just give me the bag.
191
00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:04,510
I'm not, I'm serious.
192
00:07:04,576 --> 00:07:06,332
She's not, she's serious,
but she seriously
193
00:07:06,370 --> 00:07:07,463
brought some queso!
194
00:07:07,629 --> 00:07:09,423
Ho!
Buenos nachos.
195
00:07:09,454 --> 00:07:11,654
Should you get a little too
grief-stricken upstairs,
196
00:07:11,676 --> 00:07:13,608
you can always come down here
for a stiff one.
197
00:07:13,635 --> 00:07:15,979
Those Swedish girls
are gonna want a stiff one.
198
00:07:16,046 --> 00:07:17,556
[Chuckles]
But seriously,
199
00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:20,675
whenever I'm sad,
the only fixer is a mixer!
200
00:07:20,696 --> 00:07:22,140
Yup, always saying that.
[Phone beeps]
201
00:07:22,227 --> 00:07:24,021
- Sex And The City stuff.
- Yeah, that's cool.
202
00:07:24,054 --> 00:07:25,345
Yeah, I watched
a lot over the summer.
203
00:07:25,389 --> 00:07:28,045
Hey, Blake.
It's the "goils."
204
00:07:28,065 --> 00:07:30,553
Oh, shoot!
Okay, okay, okay, I'm ready.
205
00:07:30,571 --> 00:07:33,115
I got the board, I've been
practicing some tricks.
206
00:07:33,134 --> 00:07:34,344
[English accent]
I've got this accent
207
00:07:34,377 --> 00:07:35,400
that I'm gonna try out.
208
00:07:35,418 --> 00:07:36,899
[English accent]
Oh, you sound fantastic.
209
00:07:36,967 --> 00:07:38,211
[Both laughing]
210
00:07:38,242 --> 00:07:39,510
Don't... we're not gonna
do an accent.
211
00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:41,113
- Okay, no accent.
- Oh, okay.
212
00:07:41,238 --> 00:07:42,582
Jillian, no one past that line.
213
00:07:42,707 --> 00:07:43,950
- No one.
- Except us.
214
00:07:44,075 --> 00:07:45,218
- Okay.
- And the babes.
215
00:07:45,343 --> 00:07:47,487
- Yes.
- Oh, okay.
216
00:07:47,612 --> 00:07:49,856
Yo... no, you can't come in.
217
00:07:49,981 --> 00:07:51,090
Nah, you can come in.
218
00:07:51,256 --> 00:07:52,758
There they are!
219
00:07:52,924 --> 00:07:56,183
- Hey, hey, you made it.
- Welcome to California.
220
00:07:56,220 --> 00:07:58,785
Oh, God, I haven't seen
you since we were, what, 13?
221
00:07:58,816 --> 00:07:59,741
You haven't changed.
222
00:07:59,762 --> 00:08:00,850
Eh, wha... really?
223
00:08:00,863 --> 00:08:02,813
Yeah, I mean, your sleeves
are a little shorter,
224
00:08:02,837 --> 00:08:03,663
which I like.
225
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,224
Woo-doo-doo-doo-doo!
[All laughing]
226
00:08:06,304 --> 00:08:07,369
Remember?
227
00:08:07,605 --> 00:08:09,510
Um, so we're going
into Hollywood, right?
228
00:08:09,647 --> 00:08:10,929
Our flight is at 7:00.
229
00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:13,854
Right, 7:00.
So, since your flight's so soon,
230
00:08:13,872 --> 00:08:16,578
we were thinking we could just
keep it real around here,
231
00:08:16,614 --> 00:08:18,100
in Rancho Cucamonga,
232
00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:20,452
which is also known
as Hollywood east.
233
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,967
I don't know if you knew that,
but, you know,
234
00:08:21,997 --> 00:08:24,574
if you guys want to go
to the old Hollywood... blegh!
235
00:08:24,664 --> 00:08:26,252
- Oh, meh.
- It stinks. It sucks.
236
00:08:26,271 --> 00:08:28,558
This is great.
Uh, we can do that later.
237
00:08:28,585 --> 00:08:30,288
Um, I doubt you'll want to,
238
00:08:30,306 --> 00:08:32,680
because I got
a skateboarding celebrity
239
00:08:32,704 --> 00:08:34,647
right here for you.
Blake Anderson...
240
00:08:34,675 --> 00:08:36,086
[Girls laugh]
Champion of the ramp.
241
00:08:36,110 --> 00:08:39,154
What's up, Brajettes?
[All laughing]
242
00:08:39,223 --> 00:08:40,925
Very gnar to meet you.
243
00:08:40,949 --> 00:08:42,599
What do you say we ramp things up
244
00:08:42,618 --> 00:08:44,913
and, uh, just kind of... oh!
245
00:08:44,976 --> 00:08:47,021
Yeah, kick-flip it inside?
246
00:08:47,029 --> 00:08:48,412
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
247
00:08:48,432 --> 00:08:50,728
Oh, I'm landing these tricks, dude.
248
00:08:50,774 --> 00:08:52,992
Okay, so, why don't we head
into the office party
249
00:08:53,026 --> 00:08:55,169
real quick, because Hollywood
doesn't really start popping
250
00:08:55,187 --> 00:08:56,756
until like 5:30, 6:00 anyway.
251
00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:58,758
Yeah, well, that's
when David Beckham comes out.
252
00:08:58,883 --> 00:09:00,111
You know David?
[All laughing]
253
00:09:00,158 --> 00:09:01,327
- Uh, let me just...
- Oh.
254
00:09:01,352 --> 00:09:02,646
- Sorry... it's just...
- Ooh.
255
00:09:02,702 --> 00:09:06,699
You have to get out of it,
sweetheart, all right.
256
00:09:06,824 --> 00:09:08,334
- I love skateboarding.
- Oh, really?
257
00:09:08,459 --> 00:09:10,370
Yeah, I actually own
a Wendy's with Shaun White.
258
00:09:10,495 --> 00:09:11,895
Oh, wow.
259
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,139
All right, welcome, welcome.
260
00:09:13,264 --> 00:09:16,592
Who wants a disaronno on the rocks?
261
00:09:18,149 --> 00:09:19,626
What... what happened?
262
00:09:19,784 --> 00:09:24,932
♪ Oh mama this surely
is a dream yeah ♪
263
00:09:26,059 --> 00:09:29,051
♪ Yeah mama this must be my ♪
264
00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:32,910
♪ Dream ♪
265
00:09:33,266 --> 00:09:35,559
Whoo.
[Sporadic applause]
266
00:09:35,681 --> 00:09:37,512
Thank you. Thank you!
267
00:09:37,903 --> 00:09:41,122
This goes out to Homegirl's
two favorite things...
268
00:09:41,458 --> 00:09:42,760
Sex and candy.
269
00:09:42,871 --> 00:09:43,914
Let's give it up.
270
00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:46,246
Let's give it up.
We'll miss you, Homegirl!
271
00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:48,507
[Applause]
You're an angel.
272
00:09:48,535 --> 00:09:50,589
She was a strong woman.
273
00:09:50,802 --> 00:09:53,212
She could lift anything, it was nuts.
274
00:09:53,378 --> 00:09:54,964
It was nuts.
275
00:09:54,986 --> 00:09:56,505
Ders, Blake?
276
00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:59,268
Do you have anything to say
about our fallen comrade?
277
00:09:59,321 --> 00:10:00,624
Mm-mm.
278
00:10:00,812 --> 00:10:02,096
She was nice.
279
00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:04,662
Nice? Nice!
280
00:10:04,764 --> 00:10:06,517
She was a lot more than nice.
281
00:10:06,683 --> 00:10:11,540
She was a...
A king of the hill.
282
00:10:12,056 --> 00:10:14,825
She was a legend...
Of the fall.
283
00:10:14,844 --> 00:10:18,884
She was Malcolm,
when Malcolm was in the middle.
284
00:10:19,632 --> 00:10:21,287
She was an ultimate fighter
till the end.
285
00:10:21,339 --> 00:10:23,243
I never told her I loved her.
286
00:10:23,767 --> 00:10:26,045
I got her pregnant,
but she didn't want to have it.
287
00:10:26,171 --> 00:10:28,508
And... and now there's nothing
left of her.
288
00:10:28,538 --> 00:10:29,415
Uh-oh.
289
00:10:29,442 --> 00:10:31,713
Ah, it's okay, bud.
That's okay.
290
00:10:31,844 --> 00:10:33,588
That stuff you just keep to yourself
291
00:10:33,612 --> 00:10:36,161
and never tell a soul, all right?
292
00:10:36,648 --> 00:10:38,447
Someone died in your office,
293
00:10:38,455 --> 00:10:41,123
and you invited us to party here?
294
00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:45,832
Yeah, because, uh, in America,
we like to celebrate
295
00:10:45,957 --> 00:10:48,295
life after death, so...
296
00:10:48,326 --> 00:10:54,082
So, we should probably just go
take some Jager bombs at the bar
297
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,575
in memorandum of Homegirl.
298
00:10:55,591 --> 00:10:57,470
Uh-huh, and then we can get
back to the VIP lounge.
299
00:10:57,495 --> 00:10:58,402
Come on over here.
300
00:10:58,427 --> 00:11:00,014
You guys able to sleep yet?
301
00:11:00,342 --> 00:11:02,343
Every time I close
my eyes I see her face.
302
00:11:02,572 --> 00:11:04,199
- Mm-mm.
- I tried counting sheep,
303
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:07,041
but they just turned
into wooly little Homegirls.
304
00:11:07,056 --> 00:11:08,214
And their naying.
305
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:11,558
Naa-ver forget.
Naa-ver forget!
306
00:11:11,664 --> 00:11:13,461
- Naa...
- Jillian, just a bucket
307
00:11:13,479 --> 00:11:14,986
- of beers and some whiskey?
- All right.
308
00:11:15,004 --> 00:11:16,649
- Sorry about that.
- Excuse me.
309
00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:18,390
I hope you girls weren't
planning on leaving,
310
00:11:18,422 --> 00:11:19,815
'cause you guys are my best friends.
311
00:11:19,891 --> 00:11:22,668
- Uh...
- By the way, my name's Adam.
312
00:11:22,793 --> 00:11:24,636
You guys are like a shining light.
313
00:11:24,802 --> 00:11:26,764
I'm so sorry to hear about...
314
00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:28,488
Homegirl.
315
00:11:28,682 --> 00:11:32,011
Yeah, I'm pretty butthurt about it.
316
00:11:32,739 --> 00:11:33,871
How did she die?
317
00:11:33,895 --> 00:11:36,520
- [Sighs]
- Well, she went peacefully,
318
00:11:36,545 --> 00:11:37,458
thank God.
319
00:11:37,476 --> 00:11:39,943
But I was there the entire time,
320
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,738
and the last thing she said
before she passed was,
321
00:11:42,904 --> 00:11:46,125
"Adam, you're the best,
and I love you the most
322
00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:49,286
out of everyone."
And then she was gone.
323
00:11:49,452 --> 00:11:50,964
Brain tumor.
324
00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:53,082
The doctor said it was
the size of a p'zone.
325
00:11:53,248 --> 00:11:55,035
Oh, wow.
326
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,711
My grandmother died from
a brain tumor about a year ago.
327
00:11:57,877 --> 00:11:59,963
- Really?
- It was hard at first,
328
00:12:00,129 --> 00:12:03,759
but it gets better.
329
00:12:03,925 --> 00:12:06,814
I know I don't know
you two very well,
330
00:12:06,939 --> 00:12:09,883
but it would help me out a lot
331
00:12:10,008 --> 00:12:14,421
if you guys could stick around,
just a little bit.
332
00:12:14,546 --> 00:12:15,889
Yeah.
333
00:12:16,014 --> 00:12:17,481
We can do that.
334
00:12:17,647 --> 00:12:20,127
Thank you. Thank you,
I'm so emotional right now.
335
00:12:20,252 --> 00:12:22,863
I'm so... oh-ho-ho-ho...
336
00:12:22,988 --> 00:12:25,572
[Sobbing obnoxiously]
337
00:12:32,732 --> 00:12:35,403
{pub}You know, I probably shouldn't
use alcohol to drown the pain,
338
00:12:35,456 --> 00:12:39,068
but Homegirl loved century club.
339
00:12:39,306 --> 00:12:41,117
100 shots, 100 minutes.
340
00:12:41,208 --> 00:12:43,217
I'm in.
Let's do this.
341
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,546
- [Ahem]
- Let's do this.
342
00:12:44,571 --> 00:12:45,671
It's an American thing.
343
00:12:45,695 --> 00:12:46,814
Um, if I could have your attention,
344
00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:48,849
I just wanted to let you know.
345
00:12:48,882 --> 00:12:51,961
Blake and I have channeled
our sadness
346
00:12:52,127 --> 00:12:55,464
regarding Homegirl's passing
into a charity
347
00:12:55,849 --> 00:12:57,018
in Homegirl's name.
348
00:12:57,140 --> 00:13:00,536
Homegirl's home
for girls without homes.
349
00:13:00,565 --> 00:13:04,258
Well I've also made an organization
350
00:13:04,277 --> 00:13:07,044
that's gonna raise money
to cure brain tumorism.
351
00:13:07,142 --> 00:13:09,327
It's called rollerblading
across the Americas.
352
00:13:09,352 --> 00:13:10,465
Oh, yeah?
North and South?
353
00:13:10,524 --> 00:13:13,277
And east and west if it'll
find a goddamn cure!
354
00:13:13,356 --> 00:13:15,818
Okay, well all the money
in the world isn't gonna
355
00:13:15,984 --> 00:13:17,945
do anything to bring Homegirl back.
356
00:13:18,111 --> 00:13:19,222
The only way to keep Homegirl alive
357
00:13:19,347 --> 00:13:21,782
is to name stuff after her,
358
00:13:21,948 --> 00:13:24,994
like charities or skateboard tricks.
359
00:13:25,119 --> 00:13:26,245
- Huh?
- Blake.
360
00:13:26,411 --> 00:13:29,248
- Uh. [Sighs]
- Show 'em.
361
00:13:35,712 --> 00:13:36,922
Homegirl!
362
00:13:37,088 --> 00:13:38,799
- Whoa.
- Forever.
363
00:13:38,965 --> 00:13:40,109
You didn't show her much respect by
364
00:13:40,234 --> 00:13:41,678
not using her real name.
365
00:13:41,803 --> 00:13:43,387
Yeah, well, obviously
it's... it's that then.
366
00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,315
- It's what then?
- It's her name... if that was...
367
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,350
And what's her name, Ders?
368
00:13:47,475 --> 00:13:48,726
She had a name, dude.
369
00:13:48,892 --> 00:13:53,856
And her name was Roberta Paulson.
370
00:13:54,022 --> 00:13:58,277
Her name was Roberta Paulson.
371
00:13:58,443 --> 00:14:01,655
All:
Her name was Roberta Paulson!
372
00:14:01,683 --> 00:14:02,375
Guys...
373
00:14:02,388 --> 00:14:05,567
All:
Her name is Roberta Paulson!
374
00:14:05,626 --> 00:14:07,002
How do you say seance in Swedish?
375
00:14:07,296 --> 00:14:08,665
Uh...
[Speaks in Swedish]
376
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,415
Then let us have...
[Speaks Swedish incorrectly]
377
00:14:12,055 --> 00:14:13,487
Alice, you've got
to shut it down now.
378
00:14:13,547 --> 00:14:14,372
What?
379
00:14:14,402 --> 00:14:16,797
Homegirl's wake.
Shut it down, now. Please.
380
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,618
Nobody's butthurt.
Not anymore.
381
00:14:18,631 --> 00:14:20,146
We're all, uh, we're all butthealed.
382
00:14:20,172 --> 00:14:22,012
Yup, our butts are the picture
of perfect health.
383
00:14:22,031 --> 00:14:24,712
- Praise... praise the butt-God.
- The wake has to keep going.
384
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:27,121
Her kids are on the way over
with some kind of video will.
385
00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:28,886
Whoa.
Whose video will?
386
00:14:28,919 --> 00:14:30,559
Is it like a cool little droid dude?
387
00:14:30,725 --> 00:14:33,854
No, it's like a video
with last words or wishes.
388
00:14:33,894 --> 00:14:35,669
Wait, no, but Adam's
up there going out of control
389
00:14:35,692 --> 00:14:37,286
on the mic device.
He was singing a song,
390
00:14:37,315 --> 00:14:38,837
and I don't know what
he's gonna do next.
391
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:42,071
Ders. No, video will,
that's a great idea.
392
00:14:42,237 --> 00:14:44,375
You know, it would've been cool
if it was a robot.
393
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:45,810
Video will?
394
00:14:45,935 --> 00:14:47,118
[Robot voice]
Video will. What's up?
395
00:14:47,284 --> 00:14:49,578
Mr. Nate Dogg.
Are you there?
396
00:14:49,744 --> 00:14:53,082
I just have but one question
for you, Mr. Nate Dogg.
397
00:14:53,248 --> 00:14:55,253
How do I make it into heaven?
398
00:14:55,378 --> 00:14:58,462
[Groaning, grunting]
Oh. Oh!
399
00:15:02,048 --> 00:15:05,864
Ay yay. Ay yay.
400
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:09,140
Smoke weed every day.
401
00:15:11,224 --> 00:15:13,352
Luckily, I do,
so I guess I'm going to heaven.
402
00:15:13,518 --> 00:15:16,522
I feel now would be
a good time to contact Homegirl.
403
00:15:16,688 --> 00:15:18,578
Can we leave?
I want to see Ben Affleck
404
00:15:18,703 --> 00:15:19,775
at the wax museum.
405
00:15:19,941 --> 00:15:22,111
You know what?
Screw Homegirl.
406
00:15:22,277 --> 00:15:25,948
It's time to contact
your dead grandmother.
407
00:15:26,114 --> 00:15:27,408
Guys, again, sorry to interrupt,
408
00:15:27,679 --> 00:15:30,453
but I'm pretty sure I have
something way more important
409
00:15:30,682 --> 00:15:32,288
than whatever Adam's convinced
you he's doing.
410
00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:33,789
Oh, is it cartoons?
411
00:15:33,955 --> 00:15:35,795
Oh, thank God.
All I need is a good cartoon
412
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,063
to take my mind off of things.
413
00:15:37,334 --> 00:15:39,295
Is it Doug?
Is it Hey, Arnold?
414
00:15:39,461 --> 00:15:41,034
No, no, Jillian,
it's not cartoons, okay?
415
00:15:41,159 --> 00:15:43,549
- If it was, it'd be Beetlejuice.
- Makes sense.
416
00:15:43,715 --> 00:15:46,740
But it's something, uh,
a little more meaningful.
417
00:15:46,865 --> 00:15:48,637
It's Homegirl's video will.
418
00:15:48,803 --> 00:15:51,849
- Here we go.
- Hey, y'all. It's me.
419
00:15:52,015 --> 00:15:54,448
If you're watching this, I'm a goner.
420
00:15:54,573 --> 00:15:56,604
But don't let that get you down.
421
00:15:56,770 --> 00:15:59,164
I think those are wise words.
Let's liven things up.
422
00:15:59,178 --> 00:16:00,528
Do you guys wanna
take care of your drinks?
423
00:16:00,549 --> 00:16:02,172
Yeah, because the longer you're sad,
424
00:16:02,512 --> 00:16:05,618
the longer I'm gonna spend in hell.
425
00:16:05,654 --> 00:16:08,657
So don't be so darn butthurt.
426
00:16:08,703 --> 00:16:10,628
- Mm.
- Amen to that, girl.
427
00:16:10,659 --> 00:16:13,261
I'd like to say
a special thank you to all
428
00:16:13,286 --> 00:16:15,404
you at Telamericorp,
429
00:16:15,467 --> 00:16:19,546
but mostly to Anders and Blake.
430
00:16:19,564 --> 00:16:20,614
Oh, did you hear that?
431
00:16:20,626 --> 00:16:22,378
They are just two gentlemen,
432
00:16:22,396 --> 00:16:24,852
and not only are their hearts tender,
433
00:16:24,877 --> 00:16:27,386
but I would guess to say that
434
00:16:27,398 --> 00:16:29,823
their penises are pretty tender too.
435
00:16:29,844 --> 00:16:31,350
- Whoa, did you hear that?
- So you might want to put
436
00:16:31,373 --> 00:16:32,917
'em in your mouth and find out.
437
00:16:32,947 --> 00:16:34,897
- I'd be having babies with 'em...
- Aha!
438
00:16:34,922 --> 00:16:36,966
I thought I knew it wasn't
really her for a second.
439
00:16:36,984 --> 00:16:38,293
Just have sex with Blake and Anders,
440
00:16:38,311 --> 00:16:39,947
not Adam, 'cause he's sad and stupid.
441
00:16:39,971 --> 00:16:41,578
No! No, be sad.
442
00:16:41,606 --> 00:16:43,299
- Be sad and butthurt.
- No.
443
00:16:43,324 --> 00:16:45,799
- Be butthurt and sad.
- Be happy and sex with Blake.
444
00:16:45,820 --> 00:16:48,155
He just said to have sex
with... no, she...
445
00:16:48,198 --> 00:16:50,792
[Overlapping arguing]
446
00:16:50,811 --> 00:16:52,492
You see what he was doing?
447
00:16:52,516 --> 00:16:54,461
He was face-timing.
This was a lie.
448
00:16:54,494 --> 00:16:56,097
- No, no.
- This is a lie.
449
00:16:56,119 --> 00:16:57,563
No, no, no, no, Adam, don't do this.
450
00:16:57,575 --> 00:17:00,963
I need this!
I just wanna screw these two
451
00:17:01,009 --> 00:17:03,053
swedes together like Ikea furniture.
452
00:17:03,092 --> 00:17:07,295
No, no, you declared
war on me when you didn't
453
00:17:07,307 --> 00:17:10,317
draft me to be part of your
Hollywood double date, okay?
454
00:17:10,341 --> 00:17:12,498
So quit trying
to make everybody happy,
455
00:17:12,545 --> 00:17:14,520
so you can get physical
with those sexy foreigners.
456
00:17:14,570 --> 00:17:15,626
But you know what?
457
00:17:15,644 --> 00:17:18,186
Sadness is the real key to evoke
458
00:17:18,226 --> 00:17:21,306
- passion and sexuality.
- No, happiness!
459
00:17:21,354 --> 00:17:22,523
- It's happiness.
- It's sadness!
460
00:17:22,689 --> 00:17:24,275
♪ I smell sex and candy yeah ♪
461
00:17:24,441 --> 00:17:27,486
Oh, no, no, no, you don't.
462
00:17:27,652 --> 00:17:28,612
Blake! Cut him off!
463
00:17:28,778 --> 00:17:31,282
- ♪ Who's that lounging in my chair ♪
- no, don't listen.
464
00:17:31,448 --> 00:17:32,825
- Everyone...
- I'll do it a cappella.
465
00:17:32,991 --> 00:17:35,494
♪ Who's that drowning
deviant stares ♪
466
00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:37,288
Blake, you need to destroy
his sound system.
467
00:17:37,454 --> 00:17:39,248
♪ Mama this surely is a dream ♪
468
00:17:39,282 --> 00:17:40,502
Adam! He's strong...
Help me, Ders.
469
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:41,970
Dudes! Dudes!
470
00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:43,014
You guys!
471
00:17:44,811 --> 00:17:50,259
This is... um... Homegirl's
son Craig and daughter Marlene.
472
00:17:59,070 --> 00:18:02,451
{pub}God, I love your mom.
473
00:18:02,494 --> 00:18:03,996
Loved, 'cause she's dead.
474
00:18:04,024 --> 00:18:05,877
'Cause, I'm kind
of the main office prankster.
475
00:18:05,902 --> 00:18:08,232
Second, of course, to Roberta.
476
00:18:08,330 --> 00:18:10,289
Who's Roberta?
477
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,183
Your... mom.
Your mom, Roberta.
478
00:18:13,198 --> 00:18:15,305
Our mother's name
was Kristy Howard-Clark.
479
00:18:15,378 --> 00:18:17,192
All: What? [Muttering]
480
00:18:17,235 --> 00:18:19,255
- Was it?
- Kristy Howard-Clark.
481
00:18:19,284 --> 00:18:21,287
I've never heard that name before.
482
00:18:21,353 --> 00:18:24,287
So you didn't really know
this woman at all either?
483
00:18:24,506 --> 00:18:27,220
No, but, like,
what is knowing, nowadays?
484
00:18:27,257 --> 00:18:29,324
Okay, who are they...
Who are you?
485
00:18:29,589 --> 00:18:31,026
We're leaving.
486
00:18:31,098 --> 00:18:34,817
We just wanted to see
the goddamn Hollywood sign,
487
00:18:34,868 --> 00:18:37,037
and you ruined our last day
in America.
488
00:18:37,073 --> 00:18:38,948
You're not gonna throw out
our years of pen palling
489
00:18:38,966 --> 00:18:41,096
back and forth over one crazy day?
490
00:18:41,106 --> 00:18:42,790
I wrote you for two years.
491
00:18:42,828 --> 00:18:45,618
After middle school, you were
writing with my little brother.
492
00:18:45,662 --> 00:18:48,378
[Both speaking Swedish]
493
00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:50,758
For ten years I was writing
to your little brother?
494
00:18:50,788 --> 00:18:53,565
Okay, that... that can't be true.
I told him I loved him.
495
00:18:53,603 --> 00:18:55,090
- That doesn't make me...
- It does.
496
00:18:55,306 --> 00:18:57,506
I had you for two years.
And the sleeve!
497
00:18:57,518 --> 00:19:00,051
Unbelievable, I can't believe
mom worked with such idiots.
498
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:02,039
But she made us promise
we'd show you this video
499
00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:05,371
if she ever prematurely passed away.
500
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:07,963
Hello, everyone.
501
00:19:07,993 --> 00:19:11,724
It's me, Kristy.
The main office prankster.
502
00:19:11,842 --> 00:19:15,725
Thank you for all the wonderful
years at Telamericorp.
503
00:19:15,861 --> 00:19:18,405
[Burps]
I cherish them,
504
00:19:18,817 --> 00:19:20,111
and I cherish you.
505
00:19:20,245 --> 00:19:22,686
Jillian, you were always there
to listen.
506
00:19:23,058 --> 00:19:24,374
I don't think we ever spoke.
507
00:19:24,393 --> 00:19:27,353
Montez, thank you
for letting me borrow
508
00:19:27,371 --> 00:19:31,967
your Wayne's World DVD.
Sha-wing!
509
00:19:32,665 --> 00:19:35,068
And bill, I had the baby.
She's in Phoenix.
510
00:19:35,161 --> 00:19:37,285
- Phoenix!
- And finally,
511
00:19:37,315 --> 00:19:40,535
- Anders, Blake, and Alan...
- Alan?
512
00:19:40,689 --> 00:19:43,901
The other office pranksters.
513
00:19:44,035 --> 00:19:46,841
I wanted to show you a painting
I made for your cubicle.
514
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:50,032
I'm so proud of it, and I hope
that it brightens your day.
515
00:19:50,054 --> 00:19:52,009
- She was a painter?
- I don't know.
516
00:19:52,142 --> 00:19:55,435
It's right over here.
517
00:19:57,054 --> 00:19:58,623
Psych!
[All yelling, muttering]
518
00:19:58,641 --> 00:20:00,310
Can't unsee this!
519
00:20:00,391 --> 00:20:04,938
I'm the main office prankster
for life, you motherfuckers.
520
00:20:05,033 --> 00:20:06,768
This doesn't affect me.
I've seen a lot of porno,
521
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,065
- this doesn't affect me.
- Still got it.
522
00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:10,804
- Okay, uh, wow.
- Oh.
523
00:20:10,827 --> 00:20:15,281
I-I guess the tumor had more
effect than we knew, um...
524
00:20:15,406 --> 00:20:17,884
The truth is we hadn't
seen mom in three years.
525
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,486
We had a Thanksgiving where she kept
526
00:20:19,611 --> 00:20:20,988
calling my dog the "n" word.
527
00:20:21,113 --> 00:20:23,966
Oh, we're just real busy.
I teach, so...
528
00:20:24,132 --> 00:20:26,177
We understand, you know.
Parents.
529
00:20:26,343 --> 00:20:28,262
Right?
Everybody?
530
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:31,366
Yeah, yeah. Turns out your
mom's actually pretty cool.
531
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:35,102
I think we're all pretty
butthurt that she's dead.
532
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:39,441
And the fact that she showed
the entire office her titties
533
00:20:39,566 --> 00:20:42,244
proves that she's
the co-main office prankster,
534
00:20:42,369 --> 00:20:43,819
tied with me, obviously.
535
00:20:43,985 --> 00:20:46,715
- Craig, can we, please?
- Yeah, uh, thanks everyone.
536
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,284
You're welcome, Greg.
537
00:20:48,573 --> 00:20:50,826
All right, everybody get back
to work, now, please.
538
00:20:50,992 --> 00:20:51,994
Where's Homegirl?
539
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:53,454
Oh, jet set, you're next.
540
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,189
Jillian, show me your breasts.
541
00:20:57,788 --> 00:20:59,001
And that's real.
542
00:21:00,814 --> 00:21:04,777
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