1 00:00:01,069 --> 00:00:03,197 Okay, we can relax with pep. 2 00:00:03,363 --> 00:00:05,648 And then add a little Jeff garlic 3 00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:08,017 to curb the enthusiasm of the... 4 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:11,205 Lawry's! 5 00:00:11,371 --> 00:00:14,590 Hello, sir! 6 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,202 Yeah, how are you, dad? 7 00:00:16,327 --> 00:00:19,095 I'm just at the house going over some business stuff. 8 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,097 - You know, working overtime. - Oh! 9 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,432 Shipment has arrived! 10 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,101 Karl took a salt pellet to the chest 11 00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:26,402 trying to get it too! 12 00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:28,764 Oh! Ders, a little help, bud. 13 00:00:28,930 --> 00:00:31,607 Ye I... This weekend? 14 00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,176 No, not ideal for me. 15 00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:35,778 You booked the ticket? 16 00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,279 Oh,. We're gonna rip his head off. 17 00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:38,781 Well, break the face off or something. 18 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:39,400 Okay. 19 00:00:39,566 --> 00:00:41,817 No, that was just, um... That was a TV. 20 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:44,061 I'm watching some... Mad Money, 21 00:00:44,186 --> 00:00:46,365 and you know how crazy that guy can get. 22 00:00:46,531 --> 00:00:48,326 Hey, guys, we got a change of plans. 23 00:00:48,492 --> 00:00:51,662 Grab a sponge, man. We gotta soap this bovine down. 24 00:00:51,828 --> 00:00:53,295 Yeah, come on, Ders. Don't just stand there. 25 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,082 We gotta jerk this beef, man. 26 00:00:55,248 --> 00:00:57,293 - Adam? - Yeah. 27 00:00:57,459 --> 00:00:59,420 Look, guys, my dad's visiting tomorrow. 28 00:00:59,586 --> 00:01:01,756 That's rad! 29 00:01:01,922 --> 00:01:03,215 Man! 30 00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:06,509 Whoo! 31 00:01:06,676 --> 00:01:08,262 Oh, yeah! Very heavy! 32 00:01:08,428 --> 00:01:11,265 Aah! Ah-ha-ha-ha! 33 00:01:11,431 --> 00:01:12,933 Oh! 34 00:01:13,099 --> 00:01:15,394 Whoo! 35 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,271 Can I borrow one of your towels? 36 00:01:17,437 --> 00:01:18,888 You're already using my towel. 37 00:01:19,013 --> 00:01:21,817 All of your towels were my towels. 38 00:01:21,983 --> 00:01:33,829 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com Resync for DEMAND by antibio 39 00:01:33,995 --> 00:01:37,339 Man, that is so cool that your dad is coming this weekend. 40 00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:38,707 Can't wait to meet the guy. 41 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,419 No, Blake, it's obviously not. 42 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,747 and then he gets to see the unveiling 43 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,582 of your beef jerky company. 44 00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:48,083 That's like "the proudest dad ever" moment right there. 45 00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:50,252 Yeah, meat jerking beef boys. 46 00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:51,720 - That's what we're naming it. - Yeah. 47 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,099 Incorporated maybe. We're not sure. 48 00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:54,823 I haven't been truthful with my dad 49 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,826 about any aspect of my lifestyle. 50 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,398 Who cares, man? Everybody lies to their dad. 51 00:02:00,564 --> 00:02:02,698 My dad still sends me checks for space camp. 52 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:05,528 I haven't been in like... I never went. 53 00:02:05,694 --> 00:02:08,137 Dude, my dad's expectations are way higher, all right? 54 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,866 I had to tell him that I was a VP at Telamericorp. 55 00:02:11,032 --> 00:02:11,892 I told him I play 56 00:02:12,017 --> 00:02:14,076 in an all-white squash league on Sundays, 57 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:17,039 and that I own my own home, which I don't, clearly. 58 00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:18,581 I wouldn't even worry about. 59 00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,459 I'm sure your dad has huge heart. 60 00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:25,214 Probably has big old... Schlonger as well, huh? 61 00:02:25,380 --> 00:02:27,122 - Does he? - Oh, yeah! 62 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:28,384 - Dad dicks? - Maybe. 63 00:02:28,550 --> 00:02:30,386 Oh, dad dicks are huge, man. 64 00:02:30,552 --> 00:02:32,161 And from all the stories I've heard about your dad, 65 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,762 forget it. That's a monster. 66 00:02:33,855 --> 00:02:34,728 Totally. 67 00:02:34,753 --> 00:02:36,130 That's a monster just trapped in denim. 68 00:02:36,173 --> 00:02:37,873 I still remember the first dad dick I saw. 69 00:02:37,923 --> 00:02:39,536 - Uh-huh. - I was seven years old. 70 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:40,734 It was at a warriors game. 71 00:02:40,759 --> 00:02:42,228 We were at one of those horse troughs. 72 00:02:42,253 --> 00:02:43,782 - Oh, God! - And I'm like... 73 00:02:44,024 --> 00:02:45,507 With a stream of just power. 74 00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:46,777 Growling next to you. 75 00:02:46,943 --> 00:02:47,903 - Yeah. - And that's the thing. 76 00:02:48,069 --> 00:02:51,614 Dad dicks in the late '80s, early '90s, 77 00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,249 - they were bigger. - Yep. 78 00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:54,850 I think there's something shrinking dad dicks. 79 00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,120 That should be on 20/20. 80 00:02:56,286 --> 00:02:58,414 So what is your pops packing? 81 00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:00,956 - Okay, you wanna know? - Yeah. 82 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,591 I can't even remember... 83 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,293 - He has a legit bat. - Yeah. 84 00:03:04,311 --> 00:03:05,409 I'm not gonna lie. 85 00:03:05,421 --> 00:03:07,234 If I close my eyes, I can see it right now. 86 00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:08,597 It's got the... Goes a little... 87 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,509 Oh, man, dad dicks, right? Ooh, mama! 88 00:03:10,675 --> 00:03:12,034 Excuse me. Excuse me. 89 00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,430 Hi. Um, I'm Vanessa With McMillan Realty. 90 00:03:14,596 --> 00:03:16,140 We're holding an open house 91 00:03:16,306 --> 00:03:18,240 down the street on Sunday, 92 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:21,143 and I would just absolutely loved if you weren't 93 00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,272 drinking beers on the roof. 94 00:03:23,438 --> 00:03:25,447 Oh, right. You got it, no problem. 95 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:26,815 - Weed only! - Yep. 96 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,797 - Super blunt Sunday! - Yep. 97 00:03:28,922 --> 00:03:31,363 Super bowl Sunday! We'll just smoke bowls! 98 00:03:31,529 --> 00:03:33,422 Or maybe not be on the roof at all. 99 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,367 Sound doable? Thanks! 100 00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:39,079 - Did she just say open house? - Yeah. 101 00:03:39,245 --> 00:03:41,457 Uh-oh. Hey, I know that look. 102 00:03:41,623 --> 00:03:43,584 - I don't kn any of his looks. - Excuse me, Banessa! 103 00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:46,045 - I'm sorry? - It's Banessa, wasn't it? 104 00:03:46,211 --> 00:03:47,797 No, Va-nessa. 105 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,773 No, I'm actually positive you came up, you said, "Banessa." 106 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,641 I thought it was a stupid me. 107 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,386 But that's your name and you should stick with it. 108 00:03:54,552 --> 00:03:57,046 Would like to make an offer 109 00:03:57,171 --> 00:03:58,447 to buy that house for the weekend. 110 00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,725 - Is that a thing? - Oh 111 00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,283 we can talk when I'm back in town Sunday 112 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,951 for the open house. 113 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,120 You'll see my sign. It's says, "Va-nessa... 114 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,522 With McMillan." 115 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:07,797 'Kay, thanks again! 116 00:04:07,922 --> 00:04:09,158 - All right. - Ohh. 117 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,446 - Oh, I know that look. - Yeah. 118 00:04:12,612 --> 00:04:14,396 I'm sorry, lady, I don't wanna have sex with you 119 00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:16,165 unless you wanna have sex with me. 120 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,410 - In that case, yes, I'll have sex with you. - Game on. 121 00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:31,204 - Shh. - Quiet. Shh. 122 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,118 - It's locked. - Shh. I got it. 123 00:04:36,161 --> 00:04:37,890 - What are you doing? - Shh! Quiet. 124 00:04:37,919 --> 00:04:39,302 Dude! 125 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:40,815 - Nope, that was... - Yeah. 126 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,389 Well, I don't know what to do 127 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:43,692 just kidding. Yeah, I do. 128 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:44,944 - What are you doing? - Shh. Quiet. 129 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,399 - All right, well... - Get it, just... okay. 130 00:04:48,565 --> 00:04:52,234 - Jesus. - Shh. Quiet. 131 00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,837 Hola... To the Casa de Ders. 132 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,365 - Thank you. - Get in there. 133 00:04:56,531 --> 00:04:59,408 - Hey, hey, hey. - Hey. 134 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,078 You sure this is a good idea, man? 135 00:05:01,163 --> 00:05:02,183 This place is nice. 136 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,458 I don't wanna go to jail for breaking that entering. 137 00:05:04,509 --> 00:05:06,547 Nobody's going to jail, dude. 138 00:05:06,609 --> 00:05:09,603 The use is staged, man. It's a fake house, dude! 139 00:05:09,650 --> 00:05:10,488 Is this a good idea. 140 00:05:10,506 --> 00:05:11,962 If we get outta here by Sunday, it's perfect. 141 00:05:11,999 --> 00:05:13,818 I mean, my dad's here on business, right? 142 00:05:13,849 --> 00:05:15,158 So he's pressed for time. 143 00:05:15,201 --> 00:05:16,745 He'll come by the house, quick visit, 144 00:05:16,777 --> 00:05:18,410 then I'll take him to dinner, back to the hotel, 145 00:05:18,424 --> 00:05:19,531 and he's back outta my life again. 146 00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:20,686 Yeah, all right. 147 00:05:20,729 --> 00:05:23,474 What do you say we Ders-sersify this little peach pit? 148 00:05:23,499 --> 00:05:25,962 Yeah, this couch smells nothing like you. 149 00:05:26,294 --> 00:05:27,589 You should rub your balls on it. 150 00:05:27,687 --> 00:05:28,957 Nah, I don't think I have to do that. 151 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,706 Yeah, I'll start. I'll start it off. 152 00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:32,127 All right.- Get this. 153 00:05:32,150 --> 00:05:33,513 I'll go in the bathroom. 154 00:05:33,545 --> 00:05:35,931 You know, I didn't masturbate until I was 18 years old? 155 00:05:35,943 --> 00:05:37,954 I would just have sex with items around my house. 156 00:05:37,995 --> 00:05:39,796 Or just, like, put my clothes in the closet. 157 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:43,370 You know, we don't need to hump. We don't need to go... poop. 158 00:05:43,536 --> 00:05:45,706 Yeah. Welcome home. 159 00:05:45,872 --> 00:05:47,923 - Whoo! - It smells good in here. 160 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,324 All right, dudes, he's gonna be here soon 161 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:50,526 and the living room's almost... 162 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:51,879 What the are you wearing? 163 00:05:52,045 --> 00:05:55,063 Well, if you'd gone to see Retaliation 164 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,467 like you said you were going to, 165 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:59,802 you would know that this is my sergeant slaught outfit. 166 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,556 And this is my very good friend shipwreck. 167 00:06:02,691 --> 00:06:04,652 - Hello. - Hello. 168 00:06:04,686 --> 00:06:05,755 Uh, got that. 169 00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:07,193 Why are you wearing them right now? 170 00:06:07,222 --> 00:06:09,422 You talked yourself up so big. 171 00:06:09,447 --> 00:06:11,222 We didn't want you to be best friends 172 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,967 with a couple of doo-doo heads. 173 00:06:12,985 --> 00:06:13,623 Mm-mm. 174 00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:15,586 Yeah, so which one of these rooms is mine? 175 00:06:15,605 --> 00:06:17,486 Because I got this necklace of yours I wanna hang up. 176 00:06:17,512 --> 00:06:18,921 I don't know how to break this to you... 177 00:06:18,933 --> 00:06:19,875 What should I call your dad? 178 00:06:19,894 --> 00:06:22,950 Should I call him Mr. Holmvik or Ders' dad? 179 00:06:23,009 --> 00:06:24,136 Or just Papi? 180 00:06:24,242 --> 00:06:25,737 He likes it when you call him big Papi. 181 00:06:25,762 --> 00:06:27,331 Look, you guys are not gonna meet my dad! 182 00:06:27,390 --> 00:06:28,873 Okay? I'm sorry. 183 00:06:28,892 --> 00:06:30,458 It's just that I told him I live alone. 184 00:06:30,485 --> 00:06:31,629 And I'll be perfectly honest. 185 00:06:31,665 --> 00:06:32,966 He doesn't even know that you exist. 186 00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:35,337 How does he not know your best friends exist? 187 00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:37,103 Okay, that's him. 188 00:06:37,132 --> 00:06:38,733 Please go. Just go. Please? 189 00:06:38,751 --> 00:06:40,370 - That doesn't make... - Are you that ashamed of us? 190 00:06:40,382 --> 00:06:41,437 Yes! I'm ashamed of you. 191 00:06:41,455 --> 00:06:43,868 My dad is a big... dog, and you guys are just pup... 192 00:06:43,908 --> 00:06:45,918 I am a wolf! I am a big dog too! 193 00:06:45,949 --> 00:06:47,593 You're a porch puppy. So are you. 194 00:06:47,644 --> 00:06:50,074 - That's racist. - Okay, wow. 195 00:06:50,103 --> 00:06:51,939 - Dersy! - Hey. 196 00:06:52,105 --> 00:06:55,025 Go! 197 00:06:55,191 --> 00:06:57,695 Oh. Good to see you, sir. No, uh, rental? 198 00:06:57,861 --> 00:06:59,361 No jags, all malibus. 199 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:00,896 - That's not a tough call. - Right. 200 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,290 I'm surprised you saw that 201 00:07:02,308 --> 00:07:03,617 with that mop of hair in your eyes. 202 00:07:03,671 --> 00:07:05,731 Right, well, I was, uh... I was just gonna get... 203 00:07:05,756 --> 00:07:07,050 - Ooh. - Get it cut. 204 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,584 And it's so good to see you! 205 00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:12,008 It's just been so long. 206 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,170 That a long hug. 207 00:07:21,489 --> 00:07:25,678 - This is your first house. - Yeah, this is all mine. 208 00:07:25,707 --> 00:07:27,785 I bought it, I live here. It's really mine. 209 00:07:27,929 --> 00:07:29,804 But, uh, we should get going 210 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,763 'cause I got the chef's table at McCormick & Schmick's, 211 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,196 and, uh, you know... 212 00:07:33,234 --> 00:07:35,098 Orange roughy sounds like hell right now. 213 00:07:35,116 --> 00:07:36,877 We're Holmviks. We're going to Morton's. 214 00:07:36,963 --> 00:07:38,915 Yeah, I need a beer. 215 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,350 Yeah, um, let me see what I got. 216 00:07:41,475 --> 00:07:42,887 - There might... - Well, what's the deal here? 217 00:07:43,053 --> 00:07:45,288 You know, I'm never home 'cause I'm always at, uh... 218 00:07:45,413 --> 00:07:46,823 Business dinners, you know, making deals. 219 00:07:46,948 --> 00:07:48,724 Just wheelin' and dealin'. 220 00:07:48,849 --> 00:07:51,594 So, uh, yeah, this is the main hallway here. 221 00:07:51,719 --> 00:07:53,629 Kind of a gallery. 222 00:07:53,754 --> 00:07:57,735 Um, and in here is, uh... 223 00:07:57,901 --> 00:08:02,238 This is my hot yoga studio. Yeah. 224 00:08:02,405 --> 00:08:03,699 Wait, wait minute. 225 00:08:03,865 --> 00:08:05,675 I know what's going on here. 226 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,870 You're prepping this place to sell. 227 00:08:08,036 --> 00:08:11,373 No, I'm... yeah, I'm gonna sell this place, dad. 228 00:08:11,539 --> 00:08:12,748 Now I gotta hit the John. 229 00:08:12,779 --> 00:08:14,490 Make some room for that porterhouse. 230 00:08:14,709 --> 00:08:16,337 - You should too. - I'm all right. 231 00:08:16,503 --> 00:08:18,088 - Just do it. - Okay. 232 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:20,701 Whoo! 233 00:08:20,744 --> 00:08:23,636 Ooh. I say we leave is as the cooling room. 234 00:08:23,751 --> 00:08:27,089 And then my room will be a little jerk flavoring, 235 00:08:27,121 --> 00:08:29,732 jerking station without any jerking. 236 00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:31,393 I won't do that if we hang the meat in there. 237 00:08:31,559 --> 00:08:33,354 That's a good call. That's a good call, man. 238 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,704 And I'm thinking we can use my room 239 00:08:34,829 --> 00:08:36,272 to house all the models 240 00:08:36,397 --> 00:08:38,192 for the meat jerking beef boys girls calendar. 241 00:08:38,358 --> 00:08:41,244 Right? I say we sprinkle some pepper over these babes, 242 00:08:41,369 --> 00:08:43,279 smother them in Teriyaki. 243 00:08:43,404 --> 00:08:45,741 It's like jerky, but jerky that you wanna have sex with. 244 00:08:45,907 --> 00:08:47,660 Marinade 'em and then masturbate to 'em. 245 00:08:47,826 --> 00:08:49,051 Sex jerky. That'll sell. 246 00:08:49,176 --> 00:08:50,453 You're a freakin' genius, man. 247 00:08:50,578 --> 00:08:51,413 No, I know. I know that. 248 00:08:51,491 --> 00:08:53,301 And that just proves my theory 249 00:08:53,326 --> 00:08:55,496 that Ders has been holding back our super friendship 250 00:08:55,521 --> 00:08:56,371 this whole time. 251 00:08:56,397 --> 00:08:58,177 Let's hit this A.C., cool this bitch out. 252 00:08:58,217 --> 00:08:59,261 Good call. 253 00:08:59,285 --> 00:09:01,448 - Hit the fan, science guy. - You got it, science bro. 254 00:09:01,522 --> 00:09:03,759 - Whoo! Plug this bitch in! - You got it. 255 00:09:03,781 --> 00:09:06,593 All right, let's crank some cow cuttin' tunes! 256 00:09:06,625 --> 00:09:08,469 I got you on that. Here we go. 257 00:09:08,496 --> 00:09:09,723 Kick out the germs! 258 00:09:11,224 --> 00:09:12,267 - Whoo! - Yeah! 259 00:09:12,433 --> 00:09:14,310 Nice. 260 00:09:14,477 --> 00:09:15,511 Yeah! 261 00:09:15,636 --> 00:09:17,413 Lopping off a piece. 262 00:09:17,538 --> 00:09:18,649 Agh! 263 00:09:18,815 --> 00:09:21,150 - Clean cut! Lean cut! - Whoa! 264 00:09:21,275 --> 00:09:23,352 - Yeah, crank that bitch down. - That's really hairy. 265 00:09:23,477 --> 00:09:25,183 That's okay, man. Hair. 266 00:09:25,201 --> 00:09:26,734 It'll add some spice. It'll add some seasoning. 267 00:09:26,747 --> 00:09:28,548 - All right. - Gamy. A gamy taste. 268 00:09:28,616 --> 00:09:30,260 That's what our jerky's gonna be. 269 00:09:30,385 --> 00:09:33,062 It's gonna be a little gam... 270 00:09:33,187 --> 00:09:34,897 Okay. 271 00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:36,291 Well, n-n-now why did that happen? 272 00:09:36,457 --> 00:09:38,668 - Shoot. - Probably it's just... 273 00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:40,212 Plugged up a little bit. 274 00:09:40,378 --> 00:09:42,089 Yeah, go for it. 275 00:09:42,255 --> 00:09:45,107 Whoa! 276 00:09:45,144 --> 00:09:46,355 One, two, three, four, five. 277 00:09:46,379 --> 00:09:47,930 - Yep, I'm all good to go. - Okay, whew! 278 00:09:50,037 --> 00:09:52,433 Well, look who it is. 279 00:09:52,486 --> 00:09:54,404 If it isn't Judas priest... 280 00:09:54,604 --> 00:09:56,642 From the Bible, not the band. 'Cause that'd be cool. 281 00:09:56,686 --> 00:09:57,774 What are you guys doing here? 282 00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,849 Believe me, we don't like this as much as you do. 283 00:09:59,876 --> 00:10:02,674 But we have a few questions about our house. 284 00:10:02,716 --> 00:10:04,266 Our house... Where we live, not you. 285 00:10:04,297 --> 00:10:06,454 Dersy! Dersy! You're out of T.P. 286 00:10:06,487 --> 00:10:08,337 Luckily, I had a clean pinch. 287 00:10:08,364 --> 00:10:10,018 - Right, um... - Whoa. 288 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,956 What up? Hey! 289 00:10:11,992 --> 00:10:14,637 I'm Adam. It's great to finally meet you. 290 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:15,790 We live right over there. 291 00:10:15,814 --> 00:10:16,994 How's it going? 292 00:10:17,013 --> 00:10:18,713 It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. 293 00:10:18,733 --> 00:10:20,449 - It's very nice to meet you. - Thor. 294 00:10:20,543 --> 00:10:21,462 Thor Holmvik. 295 00:10:21,628 --> 00:10:24,129 Thor? Your name is Thor? 296 00:10:24,181 --> 00:10:25,455 Ah! That is so... 297 00:10:25,485 --> 00:10:27,316 I didn't know white people had cool names anymore. 298 00:10:27,329 --> 00:10:28,835 He has a God's name. 299 00:10:28,864 --> 00:10:31,360 Tell me you named your dick "Thor's hammer." 300 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,610 - Nope, he doesn't. - You have to at that point. 301 00:10:33,637 --> 00:10:35,080 You have to. If you're named Thor? 302 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,567 You definitely hit 'em with the hammer, baby. 303 00:10:37,602 --> 00:10:38,399 Rad. 304 00:10:38,424 --> 00:10:41,139 Okay, I think, uh, you guys should get going, right? 305 00:10:41,188 --> 00:10:42,858 You need to go, probably? 306 00:10:43,024 --> 00:10:44,767 Actually, since our houses have similar layouts, 307 00:10:44,892 --> 00:10:46,569 I was wondering if I could ask you a question. 308 00:10:46,694 --> 00:10:47,903 Where's your fuse box? 309 00:10:48,028 --> 00:10:50,139 And also how do you de-blow a fuse? 310 00:10:50,264 --> 00:10:51,700 Is that a thing? Do you de-blow it? 311 00:10:51,866 --> 00:10:53,327 It's probably in the hallway. 312 00:10:53,493 --> 00:10:55,344 Okay, so where would it... 313 00:10:55,469 --> 00:10:56,872 Where would it be in our house then? 314 00:10:57,038 --> 00:10:59,382 Could be behind that Van Halen poster 315 00:10:59,507 --> 00:11:02,211 above the glade plug-in in your house. 316 00:11:02,377 --> 00:11:03,819 Okay, so your fuse is in your hallway. 317 00:11:03,944 --> 00:11:06,298 We're talking about our house. 318 00:11:06,464 --> 00:11:07,549 Good luck with the fuse box. 319 00:11:07,570 --> 00:11:08,658 - Great to meet you. - Hold on! 320 00:11:08,683 --> 00:11:10,253 We'd like to play apples to apples with Thor! 321 00:11:10,281 --> 00:11:11,649 No! Just get out of here. 322 00:11:11,694 --> 00:11:13,804 It's a good thing you're moving. 323 00:11:13,954 --> 00:11:16,228 With those two bisexual tweekers living across the street, 324 00:11:16,266 --> 00:11:18,894 might as well be living in a goddamn condominium. 325 00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:20,236 Yeah, um... 326 00:11:20,361 --> 00:11:22,481 What makes you say they're bisexual? 327 00:11:28,469 --> 00:11:30,413 Does this happen often? 328 00:11:30,538 --> 00:11:32,699 Well, you know, it's part of the charm. 329 00:11:32,865 --> 00:11:33,616 It's mom's old 'Vo. 330 00:11:33,741 --> 00:11:35,160 It keeps me humble. 331 00:11:35,326 --> 00:11:36,485 Well, excuse me. 332 00:11:36,610 --> 00:11:38,122 You're a Holmvik, not a Humblevik. 333 00:11:38,288 --> 00:11:40,456 You finally got something not to be humble about. 334 00:11:40,581 --> 00:11:41,375 Right. 335 00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:43,252 Okay, we're going to the Volvo dealership. 336 00:11:43,299 --> 00:11:45,645 Well, I think we'll go to dinner, and then after... 337 00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:46,533 No, after dinner, 338 00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:47,846 you're gonna be cresting a buck thirty 339 00:11:47,895 --> 00:11:49,568 in your brand-new black vagina finder. 340 00:11:49,624 --> 00:11:50,590 OK, well... 341 00:11:50,615 --> 00:11:53,070 You know, I think black cars attract a lot of heat, so... 342 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:54,981 I wasn't talking about the car. 343 00:11:55,362 --> 00:11:57,893 Have you seen that B.E.T. Network? 344 00:11:58,690 --> 00:12:01,966 Can't believe that selfish bitch is keeping his dad 345 00:12:01,985 --> 00:12:03,747 - all to himself. - Ah! 346 00:12:03,804 --> 00:12:06,657 - He's being a little bitch. - Selfish little bitch, man. 347 00:12:06,694 --> 00:12:08,838 You can't keep Thor from all the mortals. 348 00:12:08,876 --> 00:12:09,987 He belongs to us. 349 00:12:10,006 --> 00:12:12,147 Yeah, well, at least we have a at locker now. 350 00:12:12,175 --> 00:12:13,860 Dude, if he were here right now, I'd be like... 351 00:12:14,048 --> 00:12:15,257 Yeah. 352 00:12:15,382 --> 00:12:16,451 Yeah! 353 00:12:16,497 --> 00:12:18,541 Yeah, I'd be like, "hey, oh, hi, Ders. 354 00:12:18,691 --> 00:12:20,725 Oh, yeah, buh-bye, Ders!" 355 00:12:24,858 --> 00:12:26,962 Oh, split your head open, more like it! 356 00:12:27,128 --> 00:12:28,630 And then you die! 357 00:12:28,796 --> 00:12:30,306 "Hey, where's this guy's butthole?" 358 00:12:30,431 --> 00:12:31,507 I'm gonna be, "right there." 359 00:12:31,632 --> 00:12:32,975 And he's gonna be like, 360 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,810 "well, I'm gonna dive on into your ass!" 361 00:12:35,094 --> 00:12:37,913 How about you show us a little r-e-s-pee in your mouth? 362 00:12:38,038 --> 00:12:40,149 What! Hey, no, stop! 363 00:12:40,274 --> 00:12:41,917 Hey, we have to eat that! 364 00:12:42,042 --> 00:12:43,352 It's hard to stop once you start. 365 00:12:43,477 --> 00:12:44,653 - Okay. - All right. 366 00:12:44,778 --> 00:12:45,855 - No, get it. Get it. - All right. 367 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:48,057 Okay, whoo! 368 00:12:48,182 --> 00:12:49,592 All right, well, we'll go get some bleach. 369 00:12:49,717 --> 00:12:51,660 A little Lawry's seasoning, right? 370 00:12:51,785 --> 00:12:53,429 Yeah. 371 00:12:53,554 --> 00:12:55,240 - Seasoning, yes. - Sorry. 372 00:12:56,099 --> 00:12:58,474 Hey, you know, before we, uh, jump the gun here, 373 00:12:58,492 --> 00:13:01,065 I was looking at this certified pre-ned wagon over there. 374 00:13:01,089 --> 00:13:02,603 That could be kinda cool... A shaggin' wagon. 375 00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:04,340 I understand your hesitation. 376 00:13:04,465 --> 00:13:06,342 You've got all this money now, and you're wondering, 377 00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:07,977 "should I really be flaunting this 378 00:13:08,102 --> 00:13:10,112 - when so many have so little?" - Yeah, exactly. 379 00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:11,947 And the answer is yes. 380 00:13:12,072 --> 00:13:14,774 Goddamn, you're gonna get some wild tail in this car. 381 00:13:15,051 --> 00:13:15,985 Don't I know it? 382 00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:18,220 I mean, I probably would... I will... 383 00:13:18,345 --> 00:13:21,016 You know, we need to celebrate. 384 00:13:21,182 --> 00:13:22,892 I'm gonna cancel all my business appointments 385 00:13:23,017 --> 00:13:24,693 and I'm gonna be bunking with my boy 386 00:13:24,977 --> 00:13:26,853 on his beautiful oriental couch. 387 00:13:27,188 --> 00:13:28,497 I'd like your room, 388 00:13:28,622 --> 00:13:30,166 but a Holmvik never sleeps in another man's bed. 389 00:13:30,291 --> 00:13:31,257 Yeah, no. I know. 390 00:13:31,526 --> 00:13:33,302 Sir... 391 00:13:33,427 --> 00:13:38,207 I can't... go on just not saying this so, um... 392 00:13:38,332 --> 00:13:39,932 No, no, no. No. No. No! 393 00:13:40,201 --> 00:13:42,302 There's something I need to tell you. 394 00:13:42,578 --> 00:13:45,872 I am proud of you, Anders. 395 00:14:15,308 --> 00:14:17,567 I figured there'd be a lot less blood. 396 00:14:17,594 --> 00:14:18,552 Yeah, me too. 397 00:14:18,571 --> 00:14:20,247 I didn't realize there was so much blood in a cow. 398 00:14:20,275 --> 00:14:21,985 Very evolved process. 399 00:14:22,248 --> 00:14:23,558 Oh, my God! 400 00:14:23,683 --> 00:14:25,126 What is that smell? 401 00:14:25,251 --> 00:14:27,301 Well... it's the blood, Anders. 402 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:28,370 There's blood everywhere. 403 00:14:28,388 --> 00:14:30,455 And guts. It's jerky. It's pre-jerky. 404 00:14:30,488 --> 00:14:32,118 Okay, whatever, dude. I got an emergency. 405 00:14:32,191 --> 00:14:33,766 My dad's trying to crash at my ace. 406 00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:35,010 He's not going to a hotel. 407 00:14:35,045 --> 00:14:37,238 The open house tomorrow is totally gonna blow my cover. 408 00:14:37,278 --> 00:14:39,290 Oh, you poor little baby bitch. 409 00:14:39,308 --> 00:14:40,215 What's the matter? 410 00:14:40,241 --> 00:14:41,786 Dad Thor kick you out of the Avengers? 411 00:14:41,825 --> 00:14:43,197 Sorry, we're the X-Men. 412 00:14:43,253 --> 00:14:44,840 You must be looking for x-friends. 413 00:14:44,965 --> 00:14:46,197 I think they're down the road. 414 00:14:46,214 --> 00:14:47,845 Yeah, like we would ever help you out 415 00:14:47,864 --> 00:14:49,245 - in a "quimillion" years. - Not happening. 416 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,258 Yeah, that's not gonna happen. 417 00:14:50,297 --> 00:14:51,674 Why would we ever help you, dude? 418 00:14:51,922 --> 00:14:53,983 Because I'm gonna give you my Brazzers password. 419 00:14:54,014 --> 00:14:55,739 Fine, we'll be the bigger men here. 420 00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:56,711 Here's what I'm thinking. 421 00:14:56,749 --> 00:14:59,055 You guys should come by the house, make it look like there's a break-in, 422 00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:01,028 just tip over some chairs, empty a drawer or two. 423 00:15:01,187 --> 00:15:03,484 Just enough to freak him out so he goes and stays at a hotel. 424 00:15:03,543 --> 00:15:04,843 You know what I mean? 425 00:15:06,887 --> 00:15:08,723 We want that password first though. 426 00:15:08,759 --> 00:15:09,677 That's not gonna happen. 427 00:15:09,831 --> 00:15:11,625 Strong move. We'll do it your way. 428 00:15:12,335 --> 00:15:13,336 Okay. 429 00:15:15,485 --> 00:15:16,954 - Okay, now just watch me. - Yeah. 430 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,789 - All right? - Oh! 431 00:15:18,955 --> 00:15:20,472 - Watch me. - Yeah! 432 00:15:20,999 --> 00:15:22,000 Okay. 433 00:15:32,427 --> 00:15:34,555 Yeah, we're good to go. 434 00:15:34,721 --> 00:15:36,348 His wallet. 435 00:15:36,514 --> 00:15:39,059 You know, maybe we're being too hard on Ders, man. 436 00:15:39,225 --> 00:15:41,245 He just... loves his dad a weird amount. 437 00:15:41,370 --> 00:15:43,564 Yeah, you know, it's gotta mess with his head. 438 00:15:43,730 --> 00:15:45,606 His dad is just swinging Thor's hammer, 439 00:15:45,731 --> 00:15:47,902 and you know, Ders is working on that little ice pick. 440 00:15:48,068 --> 00:15:49,777 It's a big dick to live up to. 441 00:15:49,902 --> 00:15:54,248 But no giant dad in the world can explain this. 442 00:15:54,532 --> 00:15:57,077 Retaliation ticket stab. 443 00:15:57,243 --> 00:15:58,537 He saw it without us! 444 00:15:58,911 --> 00:16:00,998 I don't know whether to cry or explode from anger. 445 00:16:01,164 --> 00:16:02,590 You know what, I don't even care 446 00:16:02,715 --> 00:16:04,959 how many freakin' passwords that guy gives us. 447 00:16:05,084 --> 00:16:06,962 We should be ashamed of him! 448 00:16:07,128 --> 00:16:09,854 Oh, I'm so ashamed toe that dude's friend. 449 00:16:10,131 --> 00:16:10,925 Yeah, we're good friends! 450 00:16:11,091 --> 00:16:12,426 I'm proud to be your friend, man! 451 00:16:12,592 --> 00:16:13,636 I'm proud to be your friend! 452 00:16:13,802 --> 00:16:14,887 I'm ashamed of that dude! 453 00:16:15,053 --> 00:16:16,597 That guy sucks and he doesn't appreciate us. 454 00:16:16,763 --> 00:16:18,507 Yeah, that dude doesn't appreciate me. 455 00:16:18,632 --> 00:16:20,207 Doesn't appreciate me, doesn't appreciate... 456 00:16:20,332 --> 00:16:22,176 - I appreciate this! - Doesn't appreciate! 457 00:16:22,301 --> 00:16:24,104 - How about you appreciate this? - Oh! 458 00:16:24,270 --> 00:16:26,681 How about appreciate this?! 459 00:16:26,806 --> 00:16:27,700 He'll appreciate that. 460 00:16:27,825 --> 00:16:29,483 - Yeah. - Oh, hi, Ders. 461 00:16:29,608 --> 00:16:31,585 Where's your little baby dick now? 462 00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:33,224 Where's your little baby dick now? 463 00:16:33,349 --> 00:16:35,242 Uh, is there a hide-a-bed in here? 464 00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,505 - That is very heavy. - No, this is... 465 00:16:36,526 --> 00:16:37,798 Let's find something else to break. 466 00:16:37,829 --> 00:16:38,461 Okay. 467 00:16:38,479 --> 00:16:39,579 Whoa, hang on, hang on. Hang on. 468 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:40,614 - What? What? - The door. 469 00:16:40,758 --> 00:16:42,100 Dad, I think I've been robbed. 470 00:16:42,163 --> 00:16:43,675 - What's going on? - We need to be careful. 471 00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,710 Let's just get your stuff. We'll get you back to the hotel. 472 00:16:45,735 --> 00:16:47,073 It's definitely not safe here, dad. 473 00:16:47,094 --> 00:16:48,602 - Come on. - Dad! 474 00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:50,203 We've been robbed! 475 00:16:50,963 --> 00:16:53,294 - Oh, my God. - What the hell's going on? 476 00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:56,347 This isn't what I... Expected to come home to. 477 00:16:56,386 --> 00:16:58,764 Uh, dad, I'm gonna call the cops real quick. 478 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:00,815 Adam, do not send me to voicemail. 479 00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:03,227 Pick up your phone. Th is not cool, all right? 480 00:17:14,279 --> 00:17:18,766 All right, dad, they're gonna send over the CSI guys to, um... 481 00:17:18,891 --> 00:17:21,068 You know, look for prints, or... 482 00:17:21,193 --> 00:17:23,868 Uh... pubes or fibers or whatever. Dad? 483 00:17:24,108 --> 00:17:26,367 Y, dad? 484 00:17:27,235 --> 00:17:28,291 Oh, no. 485 00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,831 Hello! 486 00:17:29,869 --> 00:17:33,132 I know you weedheads are up to something! 487 00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:50,441 California. Land of fruits and nuts. 488 00:17:57,885 --> 00:17:58,960 Thor! Hey! 489 00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:00,786 - What's going on here - Whoa! 490 00:18:00,804 --> 00:18:01,884 You sickos! 491 00:18:01,897 --> 00:18:03,596 Oh, shoot. He's got Thor's hammer! 492 00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,140 He's got two Thor's hammers. 493 00:18:05,183 --> 00:18:06,473 Sir, no! Please! 494 00:18:06,497 --> 00:18:08,210 These two perverts robbed you... 495 00:18:08,638 --> 00:18:10,713 And made some sort of sick voodoo, 496 00:18:10,738 --> 00:18:12,332 bisexual Jack-off shrine. 497 00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:14,407 No, sir, trust me. No one's jacked-off in here. 498 00:18:14,443 --> 00:18:16,062 You've never jacked-off in here? 499 00:18:16,218 --> 00:18:17,983 Yeah, I Jack-off in here, but no... 500 00:18:18,011 --> 00:18:18,790 Okay, so have I. 501 00:18:18,815 --> 00:18:20,623 I'm trying to tell him... Sir, this is... 502 00:18:20,674 --> 00:18:21,984 This is my bedroom. 503 00:18:22,003 --> 00:18:24,006 - This is the house I live in. - What? 504 00:18:24,142 --> 00:18:25,960 Yeah, I've been lying to you about my job, 505 00:18:26,107 --> 00:18:27,359 about where I live, 506 00:18:27,390 --> 00:18:29,584 and these two bisexual tweekers are... 507 00:18:30,169 --> 00:18:31,337 These are my best friends. 508 00:18:31,471 --> 00:18:32,424 Best friends, huh? 509 00:18:32,442 --> 00:18:33,669 That's funny because 510 00:18:33,688 --> 00:18:37,050 why'd you ditch us and go see Retaliation solo? 511 00:18:37,126 --> 00:18:38,369 Ticket stub right here. 512 00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:39,643 Look, guys, come on. 513 00:18:39,693 --> 00:18:42,266 You were dressed in full G.I. Joe Regalia. 514 00:18:42,285 --> 00:18:43,929 It's a Channing Tatum movie. 515 00:18:44,045 --> 00:18:45,922 There's gonna be down babes there. 516 00:18:45,956 --> 00:18:47,892 Actually, you're right. I never even thought about that. 517 00:18:47,905 --> 00:18:49,918 We should be better at this kinda stuff, like girls. 518 00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:51,799 It wasn't cool of me. I'm sorry. 519 00:18:51,906 --> 00:18:53,408 Apology accepted... 520 00:18:53,506 --> 00:18:55,494 Anders, son of Thor. 521 00:18:55,528 --> 00:18:56,905 Actually... 522 00:18:57,448 --> 00:19:00,259 I have a little secret myself. 523 00:19:00,334 --> 00:19:02,473 Oh, my God. Tell me he's gay. 524 00:19:02,497 --> 00:19:03,940 I've always wanted to be around someone 525 00:19:03,955 --> 00:19:04,997 when they come out of the closet. 526 00:19:05,023 --> 00:19:06,842 I lost my job three months ago. 527 00:19:07,597 --> 00:19:08,936 Haven't told a soul. 528 00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,205 It's bad, Dersy. 529 00:19:11,495 --> 00:19:13,039 We may lose the house. 530 00:19:13,336 --> 00:19:14,629 Oh, my God. 531 00:19:15,509 --> 00:19:18,696 The lake house. Sorry about the pause. 532 00:19:18,739 --> 00:19:22,015 - Oh. - Very misleading, Mr. Thor. 533 00:19:22,052 --> 00:19:24,308 Okay, just so we're clear, there's no gay part? 534 00:19:24,437 --> 00:19:25,564 Just one. 535 00:19:27,757 --> 00:19:28,551 What? 536 00:19:28,887 --> 00:19:30,631 - Oh. - Whoa! 537 00:19:30,686 --> 00:19:31,987 Oh, I thought they were gonna kiss. 538 00:19:32,112 --> 00:19:33,455 Oh yeah. 539 00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:34,981 - Sure. - Yeah. 540 00:19:35,682 --> 00:19:36,746 So you guys are sure 541 00:19:36,771 --> 00:19:38,562 we got all the photos out of that house of me, right? 542 00:19:38,618 --> 00:19:40,071 Oh, yeah. There's nothing in there 543 00:19:40,107 --> 00:19:41,407 - they can trace back to you - All right. 544 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,886 Dig in, boys! First batch! 545 00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:44,024 Woo-hoo! 546 00:19:44,123 --> 00:19:45,730 - Here we go. - Oh, you get the big dog. 547 00:19:45,765 --> 00:19:46,436 Here you go. 548 00:19:46,459 --> 00:19:47,838 Guess there were supposed to be more strips, 549 00:19:47,856 --> 00:19:49,455 but chunks will do, I suppose. 550 00:19:49,478 --> 00:19:51,858 Well, that's our thing. We have a chunkier jerk. 551 00:19:51,873 --> 00:19:52,958 - Yeah, cheers. - Cheers. 552 00:19:53,004 --> 00:19:55,429 - Meat jerking beef boys. - Mmm. 553 00:19:55,810 --> 00:19:57,443 Mmm. 554 00:19:57,504 --> 00:19:59,648 Mmm. 555 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:01,436 Yum. 556 00:20:01,458 --> 00:20:03,043 I've never had wet jerky before. 557 00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:04,344 - I will say that. - Different. 558 00:20:04,381 --> 00:20:05,682 - Some say wetter, the better. - Mm-hmm. 559 00:20:05,712 --> 00:20:07,275 Most... Most don't. 560 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:08,582 This tastes like bacon... 561 00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,659 Like if bacon were marinated in rain 562 00:20:10,784 --> 00:20:12,645 for a few days in, like, a gutter. 563 00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:15,030 What did you do to actually make this... 564 00:20:15,155 --> 00:20:16,440 Actually jerky? 565 00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:18,024 Well, we hung it and wiped it. 566 00:20:18,149 --> 00:20:19,026 That's what we did. 567 00:20:19,192 --> 00:20:21,946 - And I pissed on it. - Adam pissed on it, now I remember. 568 00:20:22,112 --> 00:20:23,193 - Yeah. - Yep. 569 00:20:23,229 --> 00:20:25,980 Why don't we just go for a spin in my new Vo 570 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:26,995 before I return it, man? 571 00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:29,388 Thank God for that 24h buyer's remorse. 572 00:20:31,175 --> 00:20:32,576 Wait, what new Vo? 573 00:20:32,919 --> 00:20:35,316 Dude, my dad made me go buy a drop-top like Volvo 574 00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:36,527 that is parked outside the other house. 575 00:20:36,542 --> 00:20:38,330 It's quite swift looking. 576 00:20:38,387 --> 00:20:41,260 That's not a stage car to go along with a stage class? 577 00:20:41,923 --> 00:20:44,612 - No, they don't make stage cars. - Why? 578 00:20:44,817 --> 00:20:46,320 - What'd you do? - Maybe we should go inside. 579 00:20:46,363 --> 00:20:48,800 - What would you do? - We key'd it. 580 00:20:49,692 --> 00:20:51,049 And destroyed it. 581 00:20:52,007 --> 00:20:53,095 Just kidding. 582 00:20:55,516 --> 00:20:57,607 I wouldn't do that to you. 583 00:20:57,773 --> 00:21:01,611 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com Resync for DEMAND by antibio