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Previously on "Weeds"...
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I think I was a bad person.
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I don't want to be
like that anymore.
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Okay. Good for you.
5
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No.
Good for all of us.
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S.E.C.?
7
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I've heard of you guys.
8
00:00:11,072 --> 00:00:13,272
Yeah, you guys have
those federal pension plans
9
00:00:13,307 --> 00:00:14,879
tied in with our midday fund.
10
00:00:14,913 --> 00:00:16,918
If we go down, you go down.
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What are you girls doing?
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- Packing up.
- Going home.
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Home? Why?
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Because they're
getting back together.
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Did she say that?
She said you were going home?
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You can't go.
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The girls can't go.
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I no longer choose
to embrace all that you are, Jill.
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You no longer have
my fucking troth!
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I'm not in college.
21
00:00:36,347 --> 00:00:37,948
I'm in the police academy.
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We're criminals.
It's the family business.
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What the fuck are you doing?
24
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I think I want to be a cop.
25
00:00:42,653 --> 00:00:44,486
Red lines are people
who want you dead for revenge.
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As you can see,
we're mostly red.
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00:00:46,222 --> 00:00:48,291
She's so great
at pissing people off.
28
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Think he'll come back,
try and finish what he started?
29
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I don't know.
Hope so.
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Give me a chance
to nail the fucker.
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Sync by n17t01, corrections by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com
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Morning!
33
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First day back on dry land?
34
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You need help, or you got it?
35
00:02:03,983 --> 00:02:05,416
I got it. Thanks.
36
00:02:05,451 --> 00:02:08,387
Are you on roller skates?
37
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Yeah.
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I'm, uh, coaching
the twins' derby team.
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Their old coach left her family
40
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for some Floridian fire dancer,
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so I'm stepping up.
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My idea.
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00:02:23,971 --> 00:02:27,540
He's been off of video games
for almost 27 minutes.
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Oh. Nice work.
Hi, Stevie.
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Oh, oh!
48
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There's one over there.
49
00:02:32,046 --> 00:02:32,846
He stole my wallet.
Go get him.
50
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Um, Shane left you this.
51
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Wow.
52
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And I got you...
These.
53
00:02:44,093 --> 00:02:46,995
Traction socks --
so you don't slip.
54
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They say "power paws."
55
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Oh, I must have
grabbed the dog ones.
56
00:02:54,035 --> 00:02:56,470
Well, I will return them.
57
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Target gives you 30 days.
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Oh, yeah.
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This is the receipt drawer now.
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Hey!
My garlic press!
61
00:03:03,045 --> 00:03:04,245
You hungry?
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00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:05,880
Want me to make you something?
63
00:03:05,914 --> 00:03:07,348
Eggs florentine?
Osso buco?
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00:03:07,382 --> 00:03:08,649
Oh, forget it.
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Everything tastes
like black licorice.
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Still?
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00:03:14,122 --> 00:03:16,657
Eh, ech.
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Bummers of the miracles
of the brain.
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Anyway, what else?
What else?
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00:03:20,329 --> 00:03:23,298
Oh, your recovery foods
are in the crisper.
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It's mostly blueberries.
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Webmd.
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Uh, I upped the satellite tier
from "family choice"
74
00:03:29,371 --> 00:03:31,907
to "family choice
plus optimum,"
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00:03:31,941 --> 00:03:34,476
the one with
the tennis channel.
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00:03:34,511 --> 00:03:35,944
Hmm.
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Mommy, hold still.
78
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- Whoa!
- Whoa, whoa.
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00:03:38,982 --> 00:03:40,550
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Okay. Go play.
80
00:03:40,584 --> 00:03:43,019
Beep, beep, beep!
Be-boop!
81
00:03:44,821 --> 00:03:47,189
I think today I'll take
by the TV,
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maybe watch Wimbledon?
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Thanks, Jill.
This is all...
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Good work.
85
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You -- you made nice.
86
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Also, um, Andy and I
are at the room
87
00:04:02,674 --> 00:04:04,809
at the top of the stairs.
88
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:07,979
In the same room together --
the two of us.
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00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,514
Yeah.
That's a thing.
90
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:10,815
That's us --
outed.
91
00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:11,850
Nance?
92
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Do you hear me?
93
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Nance? Nance?!
94
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:18,823
Mom?
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Oh, shit.
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00:04:22,094 --> 00:04:23,728
I think the bullet's moving.
97
00:04:23,762 --> 00:04:27,298
Where's Shane?
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00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,038
Unfortunately,
for my retirement,
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00:04:33,072 --> 00:04:34,939
shares of your hedge fund
couldn't buy me lunch
100
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:36,607
with a dented hooker.
101
00:04:36,642 --> 00:04:38,175
What are you talking about?
This is a healthy fund.
102
00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:39,277
We're looking
at emerging markets.
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Too many words.
104
00:04:40,546 --> 00:04:44,115
Your fund's
a sinking shitstone.
105
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:46,785
Your shareholders might
not be able to add and subtract,
106
00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:48,453
but this is the S.E.C.
107
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So you cannot burn my toast
and tell me it's Jesus!
108
00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:54,759
Plan "A" --
you're fired, he's fired.
109
00:04:54,793 --> 00:04:56,160
But we don't prosecute.
110
00:04:56,195 --> 00:04:57,895
If you sign the fund
over to us,
111
00:04:57,929 --> 00:05:01,132
we find new leadership
and sell 51% to China.
112
00:05:01,166 --> 00:05:02,233
Plan "B"?
113
00:05:02,267 --> 00:05:03,734
We all go down holding hands.
114
00:05:03,769 --> 00:05:05,603
What kind of severance
you offering?
115
00:05:05,637 --> 00:05:07,104
You can keep your dicks.
116
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Where do I sign?
117
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I gave 18 years
to this place.
118
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This is bullshit!
119
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Yes, Whit.
120
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It is all caca bullshit.
121
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Right, Melnick?
122
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See, all my life,
123
00:05:17,115 --> 00:05:18,382
I wanted to be
one of the big boys.
124
00:05:18,416 --> 00:05:21,552
Buffett,
Icahn... Wilson.
125
00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:23,755
And now here I am,
top of the pyramid.
126
00:05:23,789 --> 00:05:26,057
But what I thought
was a game of finesse
127
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turns out to be one endless
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ass-to-mouth human centipede
of government and business
129
00:05:30,796 --> 00:05:33,665
that's gonna suck this country
back to the stone age.
130
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My lips are chapped.
My asshole burns.
131
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You want to sell our corpse
to Charlie Chan?
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You be my guest.
133
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I'm out of the game.
You coming, Whit?
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00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,410
Dude, I'm renovating my kitchen.
135
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,244
"Whit Tillerman."
136
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:47,980
- W-wait a minute!
- No, no, no, no. We're good.
137
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We're good.
138
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Chin up, Tillerman.
139
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:53,819
Nothing like a good cry
after a tough shit.
140
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,988
What just happened?
Did you just...
141
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,690
Am I on food stamps?
142
00:05:58,724 --> 00:05:59,991
Fuck no.
143
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:04,062
You wait 30 seconds
and then get your coat.
144
00:06:06,665 --> 00:06:09,834
Looks like he
netflixed a docuseries
145
00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:13,005
about these two surfers
who cut themselves
146
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,674
and then fuck underwater
in a cage
147
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,275
surrounded by sharks.
148
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,545
Called... "Bloodfuckers."
149
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,015
Um, then he Google-mapped
150
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,617
an address
in Pennsylvania Dutch Country.
151
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:25,851
Okay, okay.
152
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,286
It's ringing.
153
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,691
Tell me what's going on already.
154
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:37,697
Your brother
is going after the shooter.
155
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,733
The shooter who shot me,
whoever that is.
156
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,336
Well...
157
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:44,837
At least he has training.
158
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:46,505
What?
159
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,640
Um...
160
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,909
He sort of joined
the police academy.
161
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:53,613
Okay, everybody needs
to stop keeping things from me
162
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that I need to know.
163
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:57,084
I am not a cantaloupe.
164
00:06:57,118 --> 00:07:01,054
My point is,
he has acquired some new skills.
165
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,089
Wh-- like what?
Does he have a gun?
166
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,126
Tim Scottson.
167
00:07:06,161 --> 00:07:08,662
Isn't that Peter's kid?
168
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,964
You got to be kidding me.
169
00:07:12,801 --> 00:07:13,767
Print that address.
170
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You're driving.
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Let's go, 'witches!
172
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Whoo, Whoo!
173
00:07:19,641 --> 00:07:21,308
Okay, ladies.
174
00:07:21,342 --> 00:07:22,977
Friendly reminder.
175
00:07:23,011 --> 00:07:26,581
Observe the oval,
the egg, l'oeuf, love.
176
00:07:26,615 --> 00:07:28,883
The French
call the egg "love."
177
00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:31,118
So shall we.
Embody that spirit.
178
00:07:31,152 --> 00:07:33,220
Keep it clean.
Elbows tucked.
179
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A lot of moms out there.
180
00:07:34,589 --> 00:07:35,890
Oh, come on!
181
00:07:35,924 --> 00:07:38,559
Slit their throats
and break their hearts!
182
00:07:38,593 --> 00:07:39,960
We want blood!
183
00:07:39,995 --> 00:07:43,264
Teamwork, heavy eye contact,
good judgment.
184
00:07:43,298 --> 00:07:44,932
We want blood!
185
00:07:44,967 --> 00:07:46,033
Come on!
186
00:07:46,068 --> 00:07:48,936
- Is he drunk?
- No. Just competitive.
187
00:07:48,970 --> 00:07:50,604
- Jill.
- Scott.
188
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,239
Didn't think you'd be here.
189
00:07:52,273 --> 00:07:53,840
Didn't think you'd fuck a guy
190
00:07:53,875 --> 00:07:55,643
in the middle
of my commitment pledge.
191
00:07:57,579 --> 00:07:59,346
Our old coach
had a wooden nickel
192
00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:00,881
we could rub for good luck.
193
00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:02,449
And then she resigned in shame.
194
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:03,449
Okay. Bring it in.
195
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:06,318
Dap. Dap. Dap. Dap.
196
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:09,455
Dread menace, looking at you
197
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,523
for some leadership.
198
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:11,724
You two, Shay-la-vie.
199
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:12,725
Abracadebra.
200
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:14,293
You shat on my troth.
201
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,696
Mm.
It was a nice troth.
202
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,764
But you had your India.
203
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,632
Andy's my India.
204
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,601
I'm sure he was a great lay.
205
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,703
But he's not stealing my kids.
206
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,405
Players to the mark.
207
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:27,639
Bring the pain!
Let's go!
208
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:32,110
Go, go, go!
209
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,221
Whoo!
210
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,558
Ho!
211
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:49,862
Dread Menace!
212
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:53,432
- Whoo! - That's my girl!
- Ow! My hair tie!
213
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,434
Next time, I take your tampon!
214
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:57,136
Coach!
215
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,638
Yeah. Gotcha.
Take a seat, Dread Menace.
216
00:08:58,672 --> 00:08:59,638
You're too rough.
217
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,207
You call that rough?
218
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:02,842
That was a Valentine.
219
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,110
Oh, come on, coach!
220
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,945
You can't bench the Dread!
221
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,179
Who's gonna block?
222
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,181
Bad coaching decision!
223
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:12,451
Bad coaching decision!
224
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,619
Come on!
225
00:09:14,653 --> 00:09:16,087
Take a seat.
226
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:19,623
Our old coach
would have let her back in.
227
00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:21,858
Fine.
Sit out your penalty.
228
00:09:21,893 --> 00:09:24,361
I'll give you one more chance.
229
00:09:24,395 --> 00:09:25,695
Yeah, that's my girl!
230
00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:28,197
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
231
00:09:40,076 --> 00:09:41,577
Aah!
232
00:09:41,611 --> 00:09:42,877
Ooh! Nice!
233
00:09:42,912 --> 00:09:45,413
Dread Menace!
234
00:09:45,448 --> 00:09:47,348
Okay, okay.
Now you're done.
235
00:09:47,382 --> 00:09:52,253
Tim Scottson,
little red-headed twerp.
236
00:09:52,288 --> 00:09:53,889
He wasn't even on my list.
237
00:09:53,923 --> 00:09:55,557
- I had Guillermo.
- Guillermo.
238
00:09:55,591 --> 00:09:58,894
Guillermo.
I had Guillermo, too.
239
00:09:58,929 --> 00:10:01,998
Hey.
A&W restaurant up ahead.
240
00:10:02,032 --> 00:10:03,533
Root beer from the tap.
241
00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:05,001
Yeah, we're not stopping.
242
00:10:05,036 --> 00:10:06,737
Come on.
It'll take 10 minutes.
243
00:10:06,771 --> 00:10:09,940
Silas, your brother is about
to kill someone... else.
244
00:10:09,974 --> 00:10:12,442
He's not gonna kill him.
245
00:10:12,476 --> 00:10:14,477
Too smart for that.
246
00:10:14,512 --> 00:10:16,213
Torture, maybe.
247
00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:18,748
Medieval shit --
248
00:10:18,783 --> 00:10:20,217
Spanish donkey, Judas cradle.
249
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:22,652
I'm just saying,
250
00:10:22,686 --> 00:10:26,456
maybe this kid
deserves 10 minutes with Shane.
251
00:10:26,490 --> 00:10:28,325
He fucking shot you.
252
00:10:35,566 --> 00:10:37,834
Oh!
253
00:10:37,869 --> 00:10:40,137
Oh!
254
00:10:40,171 --> 00:10:42,839
Well, the bad news is,
we lost the bout.
255
00:10:42,874 --> 00:10:45,976
The good news is,
everyone gets half a doughnut.
256
00:10:47,212 --> 00:10:49,246
You should have let her play.
257
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,647
Now we're under .500.
258
00:10:50,681 --> 00:10:52,583
Goodbye, playoffs.
259
00:10:52,617 --> 00:10:53,950
Hello, failure.
260
00:10:53,984 --> 00:10:56,486
It's just a game.
261
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,555
There are no games
where we come from.
262
00:10:58,589 --> 00:11:00,056
You come from Oakland.
263
00:11:00,090 --> 00:11:01,658
We come from
just South of Oakland!
264
00:11:01,692 --> 00:11:03,926
Hell?
Maybe you've heard of it?
265
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,060
Hey, hey.
266
00:11:05,095 --> 00:11:06,495
Who wants to hit the diner?
267
00:11:06,529 --> 00:11:08,397
Enterprise
upgraded me to a sebring.
268
00:11:08,431 --> 00:11:09,398
Shotgun!
269
00:11:09,432 --> 00:11:10,799
Mom, you coming?
270
00:11:10,834 --> 00:11:12,435
Nah, I'm gonna
hang back with Andy.
271
00:11:12,469 --> 00:11:14,237
You guys go.
272
00:11:15,806 --> 00:11:17,006
They're sweet.
273
00:11:17,041 --> 00:11:19,075
Aw, you'll get them next time.
274
00:11:19,109 --> 00:11:20,143
Hmm.
275
00:11:20,177 --> 00:11:23,146
You're great
with the girls. Really.
276
00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:24,614
Oh.
277
00:11:24,648 --> 00:11:28,618
Our old coach made us popsicles
out of hi-C fruit punch.
278
00:11:32,022 --> 00:11:33,823
Was your mom the old coach?
279
00:11:44,134 --> 00:11:46,202
Oh.
280
00:11:46,236 --> 00:11:47,203
Hi.
281
00:11:47,237 --> 00:11:48,204
Hi.
282
00:11:48,238 --> 00:11:49,639
Can I help you or...
283
00:11:49,673 --> 00:11:50,640
Yeah.
284
00:11:50,674 --> 00:11:52,709
We're old friends of Tim's,
285
00:11:52,743 --> 00:11:55,311
and we were just passing through
on our way to Gettysburg,
286
00:11:55,346 --> 00:11:57,481
and we were just --
287
00:11:57,515 --> 00:11:59,149
is he here? Tim?
288
00:11:59,184 --> 00:12:00,251
Timmy?
289
00:12:00,285 --> 00:12:01,819
Timoth...y?
290
00:12:01,853 --> 00:12:05,323
Oh, I'm afraid not,
but he should be back soon.
291
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:06,324
I'm Tula.
292
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,792
- Nancy.
- Mike.
293
00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:10,729
Um, do you --
do you guys want to come in?
294
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:12,831
I mean, he should be back
from work any minute.
295
00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:13,831
I have water.
296
00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:26,644
So, uh...
297
00:12:26,678 --> 00:12:28,846
what's that smell?
298
00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:30,348
Are you baking a pie?
299
00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:31,716
I don't think so.
300
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,818
So, how did you two meet?
301
00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:36,587
Well, he saved me
from the rape barn
302
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:39,390
back when it was
still made of wood.
303
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,859
Mm.
304
00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:42,928
Oh.
Did you see this?
305
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:44,396
This was Tim's dad's.
306
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,098
Tim lost him at an early age.
307
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:49,001
So sorry to hear that.
308
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,270
Yeah.
That'll mess a kid up.
309
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,338
I know.
310
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,173
He's lucky he
turned out so fine.
311
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:57,509
His mom, though --
she's a psycho.
312
00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,546
Tim sure has a lot of shoes.
313
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,281
Oh, those aren't shoes.
314
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,749
Those are his rabbits.
315
00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:06,252
Well, they were
when they were alive.
316
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,889
I told him they shouldn't
bake in the sun like that,
317
00:13:08,923 --> 00:13:10,791
but, you know,
he's not a listener.
318
00:13:10,825 --> 00:13:11,792
Uh, there's 12.
319
00:13:11,826 --> 00:13:13,493
They're all named Peter.
320
00:13:13,528 --> 00:13:15,463
Just, um, don't pet them.
321
00:13:15,497 --> 00:13:17,565
He --
he doesn't like that.
322
00:13:17,599 --> 00:13:19,434
He named them all Peter?
323
00:13:19,468 --> 00:13:22,104
You know,
like Peter the rabbit?
324
00:13:22,139 --> 00:13:24,640
Hold, please. Need rest.
325
00:13:24,675 --> 00:13:27,477
Has anyone been around today?
326
00:13:27,511 --> 00:13:30,313
Anyone at all?
Someone named Shane?
327
00:13:30,347 --> 00:13:31,814
Well, no.
328
00:13:31,849 --> 00:13:34,818
No, not that I can say.
329
00:13:34,853 --> 00:13:38,722
Although one of Timothy's
new friends stopped by earlier,
330
00:13:38,757 --> 00:13:40,691
uh, to go hunting with him.
331
00:13:40,725 --> 00:13:42,660
I let him borrow Tim's gun.
332
00:13:43,795 --> 00:13:45,730
That's weird.
333
00:13:47,567 --> 00:13:48,967
That is weird.
334
00:13:49,001 --> 00:13:50,468
Tim's gun.
335
00:13:50,503 --> 00:13:52,203
Tim's gun.
336
00:13:52,238 --> 00:13:56,074
"Project runway."
337
00:13:56,109 --> 00:13:58,309
Anyway, it's deer season,
338
00:13:58,344 --> 00:14:00,578
and he --
he promised me the rib meat.
339
00:14:00,613 --> 00:14:03,581
So, this guy that came by,
you don't know him at all?
340
00:14:03,616 --> 00:14:05,717
Well, he just looked like
341
00:14:05,751 --> 00:14:08,687
all of Tim's other
non-albino friends.
342
00:14:08,721 --> 00:14:10,789
You know, kind of shifty, uh,
343
00:14:10,823 --> 00:14:14,826
quiet, dead eyes, trustworthy.
344
00:14:14,860 --> 00:14:16,061
Mm.
345
00:14:16,095 --> 00:14:18,030
I-I'm sorry.
What time did you say it was?
346
00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:19,097
It's strange.
347
00:14:19,132 --> 00:14:20,932
H-he should be home by now.
348
00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:22,267
H-he's never late.
349
00:14:22,301 --> 00:14:24,536
Uh, I think we should get going.
350
00:14:24,570 --> 00:14:27,806
How did you say
that you knew Timothy again?
351
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:29,575
He shot her in the head.
352
00:14:30,377 --> 00:14:31,476
Silas!
353
00:14:31,511 --> 00:14:34,046
Tried to kill her
two months ago.
354
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,047
Come on, mom.
355
00:14:48,595 --> 00:14:52,898
I don't know
if I can do this anymore.
356
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:55,167
Where'd you say
he worked again?
357
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,641
Sorry I benched you.
358
00:15:01,675 --> 00:15:02,942
Sorry we lost.
359
00:15:02,976 --> 00:15:04,911
What is this?
360
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:06,412
My mea culpa.
361
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:10,750
Limited-edition copy
of Roller Girl cinematic opus
362
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:12,051
"Kansas City bomber."
363
00:15:12,086 --> 00:15:13,786
Turn it over.
It's signed.
364
00:15:13,821 --> 00:15:15,888
"Dear Taylor,
follow your dreams,
365
00:15:15,923 --> 00:15:17,290
"be nice to Andy.
366
00:15:17,324 --> 00:15:19,426
"He's not trying
to replace your father.
367
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,094
Raquel Welch."
368
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,264
What?
What's the matter?
369
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:27,134
I'm not Taylor.
I'm Shayla.
370
00:15:27,168 --> 00:15:29,069
Duh. No dreadlock.
371
00:15:29,103 --> 00:15:30,637
Taylor's in the kitchen.
372
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,242
Wow.
373
00:15:35,276 --> 00:15:37,244
You're both feeling
kind of dark today, huh?
374
00:15:37,278 --> 00:15:40,014
What you making there,
number two?
375
00:15:40,048 --> 00:15:42,450
I'm baking your shoes.
376
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,551
What?
377
00:15:43,586 --> 00:15:45,587
When we lose,
we burn your shoes.
378
00:15:45,621 --> 00:15:47,388
When we lose,
we burn your shoes.
379
00:15:47,423 --> 00:15:49,357
When we lose,
we burn your shoes.
380
00:15:49,391 --> 00:15:50,525
Oh, shit!
381
00:15:50,559 --> 00:15:52,060
Shayla, where -- where --
382
00:15:52,094 --> 00:15:53,294
where'd your mother
move the oven mitts to?
383
00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:54,763
I'm not Shayla.
I'm Taylor.
384
00:15:54,797 --> 00:15:56,364
Well, who's who?
I can't tell.
385
00:15:56,398 --> 00:15:57,365
Who's the good twin?
386
00:16:00,403 --> 00:16:01,369
I am.
387
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,208
Not cool!
388
00:16:06,242 --> 00:16:07,242
Not cool!
389
00:16:07,276 --> 00:16:08,977
I have eight toes!
390
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:11,579
Footwear
is super-selective for me!
391
00:16:11,614 --> 00:16:13,582
Hey. Here's 50 bucks.
392
00:16:13,616 --> 00:16:16,451
Take them to the Claire's
at the mall.
393
00:16:16,486 --> 00:16:18,920
Buy them earrings or something.
394
00:16:18,955 --> 00:16:20,689
Just buy their love.
395
00:16:20,723 --> 00:16:23,058
You're Andy.
You can do this.
396
00:16:25,795 --> 00:16:27,896
Okay. I'm on it.
397
00:16:27,930 --> 00:16:32,200
Six-inch
or foot... long?
398
00:16:33,536 --> 00:16:36,071
Just make me a sandwich.
399
00:16:37,707 --> 00:16:40,776
You're supposed to tell her
about the specials, Timmy.
400
00:16:40,810 --> 00:16:42,845
Uh...
401
00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:44,546
- You get a --
- Louder.
402
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:46,281
You're not going home
until you get this right.
403
00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:49,717
Um, you...
get a free medium soda
404
00:16:49,752 --> 00:16:53,621
if you buy any two flatbreads.
405
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,892
What kind of meat?
406
00:16:57,927 --> 00:16:59,494
Doesn't matter.
407
00:16:59,528 --> 00:17:00,528
Turkey.
408
00:17:00,563 --> 00:17:02,765
Can't taste anything anyway.
409
00:17:02,799 --> 00:17:03,966
Um...
410
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,534
Veggies?
411
00:17:05,568 --> 00:17:07,102
Load me up.
412
00:17:08,972 --> 00:17:12,307
Is that how we do lettuce,
Scottson?
413
00:17:12,341 --> 00:17:15,810
Um, cheese?
414
00:17:15,844 --> 00:17:17,645
Whatever.
415
00:17:17,679 --> 00:17:19,179
Avocado?
416
00:17:19,213 --> 00:17:21,448
You're supposed to
let them know that's extra.
417
00:17:21,483 --> 00:17:23,283
Will you shut up?
He's trying.
418
00:17:27,354 --> 00:17:29,289
- Do you want the avocado?
- No. Move on.
419
00:17:29,323 --> 00:17:31,324
Light sauce or full flavor?
420
00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:33,126
Surprise me.
421
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:42,002
That'll be $4.95.
422
00:17:45,072 --> 00:17:47,941
Get in my car
before I call your mother.
423
00:17:52,379 --> 00:17:54,147
Come on, man.
Give me a hint.
424
00:17:54,181 --> 00:17:55,915
Another hedge fund?
Private equity?
425
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,450
Uh, we starting our own firm?
426
00:17:57,485 --> 00:17:58,852
Nah, that's chump change.
427
00:17:58,886 --> 00:18:00,386
You're thinking like a mouse.
428
00:18:00,421 --> 00:18:01,387
Think like a king.
429
00:18:01,422 --> 00:18:02,722
Hello, Mr. Doug.
430
00:18:02,757 --> 00:18:03,857
Hola, Miguel.
431
00:18:03,891 --> 00:18:05,359
It's Maria.
432
00:18:05,393 --> 00:18:06,660
I don't know, man.
433
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:07,660
I-I give up.
434
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,395
After you.
435
00:18:15,770 --> 00:18:16,870
Push the red blinking light.
436
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:24,011
- - Hello.
437
00:18:24,045 --> 00:18:26,780
You have reached the
Douglas S. Wilson foundation,
438
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:31,518
a 501(C)3
nonprofit organization.
439
00:18:32,887 --> 00:18:34,421
We're starting a charity?
That does what?
440
00:18:34,456 --> 00:18:36,924
I don't know, but last week,
441
00:18:36,958 --> 00:18:40,127
Vehement donated
a buttload of money to it.
442
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,128
Holy shit.
443
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,296
Charities?
444
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,398
Yes!
445
00:18:49,237 --> 00:18:54,976
My brother took your gun,
and we don't know where he is.
446
00:18:55,011 --> 00:18:57,446
And he's killed before.
447
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,748
So...
448
00:18:59,783 --> 00:19:01,117
if I were you,
449
00:19:01,151 --> 00:19:02,251
I would keep your head
below the windows.
450
00:19:04,688 --> 00:19:09,125
Shane? It's mom!
451
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,993
Can we talk
452
00:19:11,028 --> 00:19:14,697
before you do something
incredibly stupid?
453
00:19:17,601 --> 00:19:20,303
Hey.
Check this out.
454
00:19:20,337 --> 00:19:23,072
Bitches be crazy, huh?
455
00:19:24,608 --> 00:19:27,877
I need some air.
456
00:19:37,255 --> 00:19:40,223
Okay.
Why are you here?
457
00:19:40,257 --> 00:19:42,758
I'm a sandwich artist.
458
00:19:42,793 --> 00:19:46,195
You are a 19-year-old
from Agrestic, California.
459
00:19:46,230 --> 00:19:47,997
You should be in college.
460
00:19:48,031 --> 00:19:49,398
This is Freaktown.
461
00:19:49,433 --> 00:19:51,434
What are you doing here?
462
00:19:51,468 --> 00:19:53,669
You're supposed to be dead.
463
00:19:53,704 --> 00:19:55,605
Or at least vegetative.
464
00:19:55,639 --> 00:19:58,575
Yeah, well,
I'm a walking miracle.
465
00:19:58,609 --> 00:20:01,243
And I'm trying to protect you.
466
00:20:01,278 --> 00:20:02,244
Oh.
467
00:20:02,279 --> 00:20:04,347
I can take care of myself.
468
00:20:04,381 --> 00:20:06,115
My dad taught me independence.
469
00:20:06,150 --> 00:20:07,250
Oh, no. Wait.
470
00:20:07,284 --> 00:20:09,018
He ended up in a drain pipe.
471
00:20:09,053 --> 00:20:12,188
I heard that.
472
00:20:12,223 --> 00:20:13,723
You know, I hope one day
473
00:20:13,757 --> 00:20:15,325
someone gives you
some fresh roses
474
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,360
and you sneeze
and the bullet in your brain
475
00:20:17,395 --> 00:20:19,663
moves 1/8 inch to the right
476
00:20:19,697 --> 00:20:22,600
and you see blue
and you smell cheese
477
00:20:22,634 --> 00:20:23,701
and you die.
478
00:20:26,238 --> 00:20:30,708
Your father
was a complicated man.
479
00:20:30,742 --> 00:20:32,677
He was a hero.
480
00:20:32,711 --> 00:20:34,078
I didn't even kill him.
481
00:20:34,113 --> 00:20:36,147
It was the Armenians
and Heylia.
482
00:20:36,182 --> 00:20:37,448
Do your homework.
483
00:20:37,483 --> 00:20:39,317
You can't even
say you're sorry!
484
00:20:40,519 --> 00:20:41,686
What are you doing?
485
00:20:43,288 --> 00:20:44,289
Get out of the car.
486
00:20:44,323 --> 00:20:45,523
Uh, no.
487
00:20:45,558 --> 00:20:46,791
T-that rifle
has a 1/2-mile range on it.
488
00:20:50,929 --> 00:20:54,064
Okay.
All right. All right.
489
00:20:54,099 --> 00:20:57,434
Look, you need
to fix your life.
490
00:20:57,469 --> 00:21:00,103
It sucks you had to grow up
without a dad.
491
00:21:00,137 --> 00:21:03,606
But that is not an excuse
to act like a psychopath.
492
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,608
Are you listening, Shane?!
493
00:21:05,642 --> 00:21:08,410
Shooting me did not
solve your problems.
494
00:21:08,445 --> 00:21:10,546
Please!
I have a girlfriend.
495
00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:11,948
How about that?
496
00:21:11,982 --> 00:21:13,883
I told her about
the assassination attempt.
497
00:21:13,918 --> 00:21:15,185
She was pretty mad.
498
00:21:15,219 --> 00:21:16,920
She might not be there anymore.
499
00:21:16,955 --> 00:21:18,255
I-I need to get home.
500
00:21:18,290 --> 00:21:20,190
You have to
pay attention, okay?
501
00:21:20,225 --> 00:21:23,027
I can't be responsible
for another messed-up kid.
502
00:21:23,061 --> 00:21:24,929
Unlock the door.
Please. Open.
503
00:21:24,963 --> 00:21:28,299
Bury the rabbits.
Pack up your car.
504
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:30,468
Stop fucking the Amish.
505
00:21:30,502 --> 00:21:32,703
Become a nutritionist, okay?
506
00:21:32,737 --> 00:21:34,471
These are my conditions.
507
00:21:34,505 --> 00:21:36,240
Then you can get back
in the car,
508
00:21:36,274 --> 00:21:38,275
we can talk about
how to fix this, okay?
509
00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:39,710
Okay.
510
00:21:39,744 --> 00:21:40,911
All right.
511
00:21:40,945 --> 00:21:42,379
Okay. Can I borrow
some gas money?
512
00:21:42,413 --> 00:21:44,614
If you give me a hug.
513
00:21:44,649 --> 00:21:45,682
Bitch.
514
00:21:45,716 --> 00:21:47,384
Yeah, well...
515
00:21:58,997 --> 00:22:00,631
Andy.
516
00:22:00,665 --> 00:22:02,199
What the fuck are you doing?
517
00:22:02,233 --> 00:22:04,635
What the fuck
is he doing here?
518
00:22:04,669 --> 00:22:07,738
You were supposed to
take them to the mall!
519
00:22:07,773 --> 00:22:09,640
Balls!
Balls to the mall!
520
00:22:09,675 --> 00:22:11,809
- What's on your feet?
- Dog socks.
521
00:22:11,843 --> 00:22:14,278
Textured socks for dogs.
522
00:22:14,312 --> 00:22:15,279
Why?
523
00:22:15,313 --> 00:22:16,813
I'm supposed to return those!
524
00:22:21,452 --> 00:22:23,052
You won't even notice it --
525
00:22:23,087 --> 00:22:24,654
sewing it right back in.
526
00:22:24,688 --> 00:22:26,756
What the heck
you doing to my kid?
527
00:22:26,791 --> 00:22:28,258
Please.
She started it.
528
00:22:28,292 --> 00:22:29,359
Don't cut my kid's hair.
529
00:22:29,393 --> 00:22:30,660
It's her hair.
530
00:22:30,694 --> 00:22:32,628
Whoa, what's with
all the hostility?
531
00:22:32,662 --> 00:22:34,596
Did you learn nothing in India?
532
00:22:34,631 --> 00:22:35,831
Scott.
533
00:22:35,865 --> 00:22:37,366
Dad, break his face!
534
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:38,600
Yeah! We want blood!
535
00:22:38,635 --> 00:22:39,601
No, we don't!
536
00:22:39,635 --> 00:22:40,735
Come on.
537
00:22:40,770 --> 00:22:42,771
He's not gonna fight.
538
00:22:42,805 --> 00:22:44,372
L'oeuf. The egg.
539
00:22:44,407 --> 00:22:45,941
The French egg.
540
00:22:49,177 --> 00:22:50,277
Ow!
Did you --
541
00:22:50,312 --> 00:22:51,479
dad, make a fist!
542
00:22:51,513 --> 00:22:53,214
Don't you know how to punch?
543
00:22:53,248 --> 00:22:55,049
- Andy, hit him in the face!
- No!
544
00:22:55,084 --> 00:22:57,118
- No face!
- Ow! Fucker!
545
00:22:57,152 --> 00:22:58,719
No more slapping!
546
00:22:58,753 --> 00:22:59,820
Geez, dad,
you got sand in your pooter?
547
00:22:59,855 --> 00:23:01,055
Hey! No "pooter"!
548
00:23:01,089 --> 00:23:02,289
Oh, God --
549
00:23:02,324 --> 00:23:03,457
What are you doing?!
550
00:23:03,491 --> 00:23:05,926
Don't --
don't throw.
551
00:23:06,561 --> 00:23:08,862
- Hey! Hey!
- We hate you both!
552
00:23:09,865 --> 00:23:11,299
Girls...
553
00:23:11,333 --> 00:23:13,501
- You ungrateful little shits!
- ...I am trying, okay?
554
00:23:13,535 --> 00:23:16,036
- Yes, I admit it.
- You think the sebring was for me?
555
00:23:16,070 --> 00:23:17,838
- I forged the signature.
- Wrong!
556
00:23:17,872 --> 00:23:19,640
Do you think you're the reason
we're separated?
557
00:23:19,674 --> 00:23:21,642
- Guess what -- you're right.
- Come on. It's Raquel Welch.
558
00:23:21,677 --> 00:23:23,678
- What did you expect? - But this divorce
does not give you the carte blanche
559
00:23:23,712 --> 00:23:25,946
- to wear black eye shadow and give up
your virginity... -What am I to her?
560
00:23:25,980 --> 00:23:27,280
- Like she's gonna respond if I just put
it in the regular mail? - ...to ethnics!
561
00:23:27,315 --> 00:23:28,715
You know what?
562
00:23:28,750 --> 00:23:30,350
I'm glad he cut off that
filthy little rat tail!
563
00:23:30,385 --> 00:23:31,452
Scott?
564
00:23:31,486 --> 00:23:33,220
I've been to Mumbai,
just got back,
565
00:23:33,254 --> 00:23:34,988
and little girls over there
are selling their hair
566
00:23:35,023 --> 00:23:37,057
for money and then
pooping in the river!
567
00:23:37,091 --> 00:23:38,392
Do you even hear
what you're saying?
568
00:23:38,426 --> 00:23:39,293
No. You know what?
569
00:23:39,327 --> 00:23:40,795
I'm not even close to done, Jill!
570
00:23:40,829 --> 00:23:42,563
You think we wanted twins?
571
00:23:42,597 --> 00:23:43,564
Oh, Scott --
572
00:23:43,598 --> 00:23:45,333
We wanted one kid.
Uno.
573
00:23:45,367 --> 00:23:47,435
- You know what I said when I
saw the sonogram? - Scott?
574
00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:49,404
"Screw this.
Let's abort and get a boat."
575
00:23:49,438 --> 00:23:52,473
God! I am saying
very horrible things.
576
00:23:52,508 --> 00:23:53,842
This isn't me.
577
00:23:53,876 --> 00:23:56,578
Twins, I apologize.
578
00:23:56,612 --> 00:23:59,381
I got to go back to Calcutta
and get away from all this crap.
579
00:23:59,415 --> 00:24:01,049
You'll hear
from my lawyer, Jill.
580
00:24:01,083 --> 00:24:03,751
I'll be back in the fall.
581
00:24:03,786 --> 00:24:08,790
In the meantime, girls...
Listen to Andy.
582
00:24:15,097 --> 00:24:17,532
Go to your room.
583
00:24:20,803 --> 00:24:27,341
She left us, Peter, Peter,
Peter, Peter, Peter --
584
00:24:29,778 --> 00:24:31,345
You're welcome.
585
00:24:31,380 --> 00:24:33,380
Tim, pack up what you need
586
00:24:33,415 --> 00:24:35,249
and go straight to California.
587
00:24:35,283 --> 00:24:36,717
Come on.
No stopping.
588
00:24:36,751 --> 00:24:39,119
Did it hurt getting shot?
589
00:24:39,153 --> 00:24:41,021
I don't -- I don't
really remember, honey.
590
00:24:41,055 --> 00:24:42,622
Just trying to prepare myself.
591
00:24:42,657 --> 00:24:43,757
They have
really good doctors now.
592
00:24:43,791 --> 00:24:45,058
Come on. Let's go.
593
00:24:47,028 --> 00:24:48,662
Go in the bathroom.
Go in the bathroom!
594
00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:49,596
Go! Go! Go!
595
00:24:51,166 --> 00:24:53,434
Great. She took her
fucking toothbrush.
596
00:24:55,470 --> 00:24:56,437
Where is he?
597
00:24:56,472 --> 00:24:57,905
Shane.
598
00:24:57,940 --> 00:25:01,309
Jesus, this place makes my shack
look like the Taj Mahal.
599
00:25:01,344 --> 00:25:02,911
Yeah. Go ahead.
600
00:25:04,447 --> 00:25:06,715
Mr. scottson,
we have a warrant.
601
00:25:06,750 --> 00:25:08,918
The state of Connecticut
has placed you under arrest
602
00:25:08,952 --> 00:25:10,853
for the attempted murder
of Nancy Botwin.
603
00:25:10,887 --> 00:25:13,255
This is sergeant Jensen,
OSPD, arresting officer,
604
00:25:13,289 --> 00:25:16,625
and officer Thurgood Notgood,
local jurisdiction.
605
00:25:16,659 --> 00:25:18,193
Uh, he didn't do it.
606
00:25:18,227 --> 00:25:20,162
He didn't.
He has an alibi.
607
00:25:20,196 --> 00:25:21,563
Ask his girlfriend.
608
00:25:21,598 --> 00:25:23,666
He was b-baking
his girlfriend a pie.
609
00:25:23,700 --> 00:25:26,435
We have the gun
and the shell casings.
610
00:25:26,469 --> 00:25:27,669
And guess what.
611
00:25:27,704 --> 00:25:29,471
The carpet matched the drapes.
612
00:25:29,506 --> 00:25:31,073
You found my pubic hair?
613
00:25:32,208 --> 00:25:34,042
I'm not pressing charges.
614
00:25:34,076 --> 00:25:35,677
Anything above manslaughter
goes straight to the D.A.
615
00:25:35,711 --> 00:25:36,911
It's not your call.
616
00:25:36,946 --> 00:25:38,012
Ma'am, step aside, please.
617
00:25:39,281 --> 00:25:40,949
It's okay.
618
00:25:40,983 --> 00:25:44,086
Ma'am, please.
619
00:25:49,893 --> 00:25:51,594
You have the right
to remain silent.
620
00:25:51,628 --> 00:25:53,495
You have the right
to an attorney.
621
00:25:53,530 --> 00:25:55,263
Anything you say can and will
be used against you
622
00:25:55,298 --> 00:25:57,132
in a court of law.
623
00:25:57,166 --> 00:25:59,001
These kids --
they make one mistake,
624
00:25:59,035 --> 00:26:01,202
and it follows them
their whole lives.
625
00:26:01,237 --> 00:26:04,506
If cannot afford an attorney,
one will be appointed for you.
626
00:26:04,540 --> 00:26:05,841
Hey.
627
00:26:05,875 --> 00:26:07,275
Smile, mom.
628
00:26:07,310 --> 00:26:09,277
He's trying to impress you.
629
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,363
What's with all the cops?
630
00:27:00,397 --> 00:27:01,931
Drive, Larry.
Drive!
631
00:27:03,500 --> 00:27:07,201
Sync by n17t01, corrections by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com