1 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,636 Previously on Weeds. 2 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,266 I think I was a bad person. 3 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,723 I don't want to be like that anymore. 4 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,102 Okay. Good for you. 5 00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:17,067 No. Good for all of us. 6 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,895 SEC? I've heard of you guys. 7 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:23,733 Yeah, you guys have those federal pension plans tied in with our Midday Fund. 8 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,818 If we go down, you go down. 9 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,501 - What are you girls doing? - Packing up. 10 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:28,616 Going home. 11 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,322 Home? Why? 12 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,078 Because they're getting back together. 13 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,000 Did she say that? She said you were going home? 14 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,750 You can't go. The girls can't go. 15 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:41,633 I no longer choose to embrace all that you are, Jill. 16 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,340 You no longer have my fucking troth! 17 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,513 I'm not in college. I'm in the Police Academy. 18 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,511 We're criminals. It's the family business. 19 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,637 What the fuck are you doing? 20 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:50,968 I think I want to be a cop. 21 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,349 Red lines are people who want you dead for revenge. 22 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:54,850 As you can see, we're mostly red. 23 00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:57,103 She's so great at pissing people off. 24 00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:00,276 Think he'll come back, try and finish what he started? 25 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,275 I don't know. Hope so. 26 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,947 Give me a chance to nail the fucker. 27 00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:11,014 Morning! First day back on dry land? 28 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,849 You need help, or you got it? 29 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,847 I got it. Thanks. 30 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,600 Are you on roller skates? 31 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,805 Yeah. 32 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,984 I'm coaching the twins' derby team. 33 00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:26,280 Their old coach left her family for some Floridian fire dancer, 34 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,527 so I'm stepping UP- 35 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,364 So, Stevie's playing with a flyswatter? 36 00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:33,741 My idea. He's been off of video games 37 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,323 for almost 27 minutes. 38 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,792 Nice work. Hi, Stevie. 39 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,915 There's one over there. He stole my wallet. 40 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,371 Go get him. 41 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,374 Shane left you this. 42 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,175 Wow. 43 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,671 And I got you 44 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:52,805 these. 45 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,725 Traction socks! So you don't slip. 46 00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,603 They say "Power Paws." 47 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,649 I must have grabbed the dog ones. Well... 48 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,898 I will return them. 49 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,480 Target gives you 30 days. 50 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:10,736 Oh, yeah. This is the receipt drawer now. 51 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,655 Hey! My garlic press! 52 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,236 You hungry? Want me to make you something? 53 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,162 Eggs Florentine'? Osso Buco? 54 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,741 Forget it. Everything tastes like black licorice. 55 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:19,996 Still? 56 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,337 Bummers of the miracles of the brain. 57 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,050 Anyway, what else? What else? 58 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:32,046 Your recovery foods are in the crisper. 59 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,302 It's mostly blueberries. WebMD. 60 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:41,973 I upped the satellite tier from Family Choice to Family Choice Plus Optimum, 61 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,335 the one with the tennis channel. 62 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,101 Mommy, hold still. 63 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,651 Okay, go play- 64 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:57,495 I think today I'll take by the TV, maybe watch Wimbledon? 65 00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,991 Thanks, Jill. This is all... 66 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,918 Good work. 67 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,496 You made nice. 68 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:09,799 Also, 69 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,837 Andy and I are at the room at the top of the stairs. 70 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,343 In the same room together, the two of us. 71 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,640 Yeah. That's a thing. 72 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,343 That's us, outed. 73 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,391 Nance? Do you hear me? 74 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,769 Nance? Nance! 75 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:27,650 Mom? 76 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,612 Oh, shit. 77 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,485 I think the bullet's moving. 78 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,651 Where's Shane? 79 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,789 Unfortunately for my retirement, 80 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:45,085 shares of your hedge fund couldn't buy me lunch with a dented hooker. 81 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,833 What are you talking about? This is a healthy fund. 82 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,272 We're looking at emerging markets. 83 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,256 Too many words. 84 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,755 Your fund's a sinking shit-stone. 85 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,091 Your shareholders might not be able to add and subtract, 86 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,888 but this is the SEC, 87 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,432 so you cannot burn my toast and tell me it's Jesus! 88 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,558 Plan A, you're fired, he's fired, 89 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,889 but we don't prosecute. 90 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,348 You sign the fund over to us, 91 00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:09,901 we find new leadership and sell 51 percent to China. 92 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:10,976 Plan B? 93 00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,771 We all go down holding hands. 94 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,447 What kind of severance you offering? 95 00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:15,900 You can keep your dicks. 96 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:16,982 Where do I sign? 97 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,369 I gave 18 years to this place. 98 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:20,912 This is bullshit! 99 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,748 Yes, Whit. It is all caca bullshit. 100 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:24,996 Right, Melnick? 101 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,203 See, all my life, I wanted to be one of the big boys. 102 00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,622 Buffett, Icahn, Wilson. 103 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,503 And now here I am, top of the pyramid, 104 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,960 but what I thought was a game of finesse turns out to be 105 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:39,640 one endless ass-to-mouth human centipede of government and business 106 00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:42,467 that's gonna suck this country back to the stone age. 107 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,640 My lips are chapped. My asshole burns. 108 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,347 You want to sell our corpse to Charlie Chan? 109 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,853 You be my guest. I'm out of the game. 110 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:50,980 You coming, Whit? 111 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,686 Dude, I'm renovating my kitchen! 112 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,396 Whit Tillerman. 113 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,731 Wait a minute! What... 114 00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,033 No, no, no, we're good. We're good. 115 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,242 Chin up, Tillerman. 116 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,571 Nothing like a good cry after a tough shit. 117 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,200 What just happened? Did you just... 118 00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,661 - Am I on food stamps? - Fuck no. 119 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:11,838 You wait 30 seconds and then get your coat. 120 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:20,923 It looks like he Netflixed a docu-series about these two surfers 121 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,850 who cut themselves and then fuck underwater 122 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,269 in a cage surrounded by sharks 123 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,688 called Bloodfuckers. 124 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:33,860 Then he Google-mapped an address in Pennsylvania Dutch Country. 125 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,029 Okay, okay. It's ringing. 126 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,493 Tell me what's going on already. 127 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,448 Your brother is going after the shooter. 128 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,493 The shooter who shot me, whoever that is. 129 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,123 Well, 130 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,625 at least he has training. 131 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:54,797 What? 132 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:59,465 He sort of joined the Police Academy. 133 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:04,050 Okay, everybody needs to stop keeping things from me that I need to know. 134 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,554 I am not a cantaloupe. 135 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:09,684 My point is, he has acquired some new skills. 136 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:11,952 What, like what'? Does he have a gun? 137 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,653 Tim Scottson. Isn't that Peter's kid? 138 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,773 You got to be kidding me. 139 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,485 Print that address. 140 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,115 You're driving. 141 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,493 Let's go, Witches! 142 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,535 Okay, ladies, friendly reminder. 143 00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:35,752 Observe the oval, the egg, I'oeuf, love. 144 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,128 The French call the egg love, so shall we. 145 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,210 Embody that spirit. Keep it clean. 146 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,840 Elbows tucked. 147 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,342 A lot of moms out there. 148 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,798 Oh, come on! 149 00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,350 Slit their throats and break their hearts! 150 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:51,889 Teamwork, heavy eye contact, good judgment. 151 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,683 We want blood! Come on! 152 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:55,858 Is he drunk? 153 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,686 No. Just competitive. 154 00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,361 - Jill. - Scott. 155 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:00,980 Didn't think you'd be here. 156 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:04,568 Didn't think you'd fuck a guy in the middle of my commitment pledge. 157 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:09,619 Our old coach had a wooden nickel we could rub for good luck. 158 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:10,938 And then she resigned in shame. 159 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,334 Okay, bring it in. 160 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:15,083 Dap. Dap. Dap. Dap. 161 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,253 Dread Menace, looking at you for some leadership. 162 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,505 You, too, Shay-la-Vie, AbracaDebra. 163 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,131 You shat on my troth. 164 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,968 It was a nice troth. 165 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:27,556 But you had your India. 166 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:29,384 Andy's my India. 167 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,060 And I'm sure he's a great lay, 168 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,642 but he's not stealing my kids. 169 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:34,894 Players to their marks. 170 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,441 Bring the pain! Let's go! 171 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,580 Dread Menace! 172 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,003 That's my girl! 173 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,254 My hair tie! 174 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,257 Next time, I take your tampon! 175 00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:06,509 - Coach! - Yeah. Gotcha. 176 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:08,431 Take a seat, Dread Menace. You're too rough. 177 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,601 You call that rough? That was a valentine. 178 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:16,436 Come on, coach! You can't bench the Dread! Who's gonna block'? 179 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:20,439 Bad coaching decision! Bad coaching decision! 180 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:22,858 Come on! 181 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,194 Take a seat. 182 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,447 Our old coach would have let her back in. 183 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,157 Fine. 184 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,830 Sit out your penalty. I'll give you one more chance. 185 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,453 Yeah, that's my girl! 186 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,217 Nice! 187 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,802 Dread Menace! 188 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,179 Okay, now you're done. 189 00:09:56,971 --> 00:10:01,067 Tim Scottson, little red-headed twerp. 190 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,236 He wasn't even on my list. 191 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,951 - I had Guillermo. - Guillermo. Guillermo. 192 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,777 I had Guillermo, too. 193 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,493 Hey, A&W Restaurant up ahead. 194 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:11,945 Root beer from the tap. 195 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,405 Yeah, we're not stopping. 196 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:14,740 Come on. It'll take 10 minutes. 197 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,667 Silas, your brother is about to kill someone... 198 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:18,789 else. 199 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,334 He's not gonna kill him. 200 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,164 Too smart for that. 201 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,045 Torture, maybe. 202 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,883 Medieval shit. Spanish Donkey, Judas Cradle. 203 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:34,722 I'm just saying, maybe this kid deserves 10 minutes with Shane. 204 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,141 He fucking shot you. 205 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,485 Well, the bad news is, we lost the bout. 206 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,784 The good news is everyone gets half a donut. 207 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,082 You should've let her play. 208 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,831 Now we're under 500. 209 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,411 Good bye, playoffs. 210 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,746 Hello, failure. 211 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,339 It's just a game. 212 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,292 There are no games where we come from. 213 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,501 You come from Oakland. 214 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,462 We come from just south of Oakland! 215 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,722 Hell? Maybe you've heard of it? 216 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,091 Hey, hey. Who wants to hit the diner? 217 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,052 Enterprise upgraded me to a Sebring. 218 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,227 - Shotgun! - Shotgun! 219 00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:19,979 Mom, you coming? 220 00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,271 Nah, I'm gonna hang back with Andy. 221 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,724 You guys go- 222 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,645 They're sweet. 223 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,822 You'll get them next time. 224 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:31,400 You're great with the girls. Really. 225 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:37,413 Our old coach made us popsicles out of Hi-C fruit punch. 226 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,585 Was your mom the old coach? 227 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,008 - Hi. - Hi. 228 00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,434 Can I help you or... 229 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,224 Yeah, we're old friends of Tim's, 230 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:04,854 and we were just passing through on our way to Gettysburg, 231 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,185 and we were just... 232 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:10,192 Is he here, Tim? Timmy? Timothy? 233 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:15,160 I'm afraid not, but he should be back soon. I'm Tula. 234 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,703 - Nancy. - Mike. 235 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,535 Do you... Do you guys want to come in? 236 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,870 I mean, he should be back from work any minute. 237 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,452 I have water. 238 00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,800 So... 239 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:39,092 What's that smell? Are you baking a pie? 240 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,636 I don't think so. 241 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,517 So, how did you two meet? 242 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:48,102 Well, he saved me from the rape barn, back when it was still made of wood. 243 00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:53,190 Did you see this? This was Tim's dad's. 244 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,900 Tim lost him at an early age. 245 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,739 So sorry to hear that. 246 00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,038 Yeah. That'll mess a kid up. 247 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,915 I know. He's lucky he turned out so fine. 248 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,540 His mom, though, she's a psycho. 249 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,248 Tim sure has a lot of shoes. 250 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,417 Those aren't shoes. Those are his rabbits. 251 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,094 Well, they were when they were alive. 252 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,384 I told him they shouldn't bake in the sun like that, 253 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,557 but, you know, he's not a listener. 254 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,181 There's 12. They're all named Peter. 255 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,471 Just don't pet them. 256 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,352 He... He doesn't like that. 257 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,646 He named them all Peter? 258 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,898 You know, like Peter the Rabbit? 259 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,318 Hold, please. Need rest. 260 00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,695 Has anyone been around today? 261 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,072 Anyone at all? Someone named Shane? 262 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:43,448 Well, no. No, not that I can say. 263 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:48,795 Although one of Timothy's new friends stopped by earlier 264 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:49,962 to go hunting with him. 265 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,506 I let him borrow Tim's gun. 266 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:54,546 That's weird. 267 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:57,761 That is weird. 268 00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,722 Tim's gun. 269 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,724 Tim's gun. 270 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,386 Project Runway. 271 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:09,141 Anyway, it's deer season and he promised me the rib meat. 272 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:12,352 So, this guy that came by, you don't know him at all? 273 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:17,483 Well, he just looked like all of Tim's other non-albino friends. 274 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:21,035 You know, kind of shifty, quiet, 275 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,580 dead eyes, trustworthy. 276 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,875 I'm sorry. What time did you say it was? 277 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,999 It's strange. He should be home by now. He's never late. 278 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,331 I think we should get going. 279 00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,551 How did you say that you knew Timothy again? 280 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,382 He shot her in the head. 281 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,713 Silas! 282 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,765 Tried to kill her two months ago. 283 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,932 Come on, Mom. 284 00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,362 I don't know if I can do this anymore. 285 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,945 Where'd you say he worked again? 286 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,251 Sorry I benched you. 287 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,873 Sorry we lost. 288 00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,421 What is this? 289 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,505 My mea culpa. 290 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:21,088 Limited-edition copy of roller girl cinematic opus, Kansas City Bomber. 291 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,218 Turn it over, it's signed. 292 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,384 "Dear Taylor, follow your dreams, be nice to Andy." 293 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,265 "He's not trying to replace your father." 294 00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,305 "Raquel Welch." 295 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,065 What? What's the matter? 296 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,226 I'm not Taylor. I'm Shayla. 297 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:37,895 No dreadlock. 298 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,481 Taylor's in the kitchen. 299 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:43,742 Wow. 300 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,029 You're both feeling kind of dark today, huh? 301 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,785 What you making there, number two? 302 00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,250 I'm baking your shoes. 303 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,372 What? 304 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,125 When we lose, we burn your shoes. 305 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:58,424 - When we lose, we burn your shoes. - When we lose, we burn your shoes. 306 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:01,594 Shit, shit! Shayla, where'd your mother move the oven mitts to? 307 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,554 I'm not Shayla. I'm Taylor. 308 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,182 Well, who's who? I can't tell. Who's the good twin? 309 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,265 I am. 310 00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:16,192 Not cool! Not cool! 311 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,769 I have eight toes! 312 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,404 Footwear is super-selective for me! 313 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,364 Hey. Here's 50 bucks. 314 00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,360 Take them to Claire's at the mall. 315 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,323 Buy them earrings or something. 316 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,950 Just buy their love. 317 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,829 You're Andy. You can do this. 318 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,374 Okay. I'm on it. 319 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,916 Six-inch or foot... 320 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,046 Long? 321 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,511 Just make me a sandwich. 322 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,554 You're supposed to tell her about the specials, Timmy. 323 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,680 - You get a... - Louder? 324 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,016 You're not going home until you get this right. 325 00:16:56,557 --> 00:17:01,734 You get a free medium soda if you buy any two flatbreads. 326 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,236 - What kind of meat? - Doesn't matter. 327 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,993 Turkey. Can't taste anything anyway. 328 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,914 - Veggies'? - Load me up. 329 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,082 Is that how we do lettuce, Scottson? 330 00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,548 Cheese? 331 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,424 Whatever. 332 00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:27,759 Avocado? 333 00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:30,091 You're supposed to let them know that's extra. 334 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,142 Will you shut up'? He's trying. 335 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:38,061 - Do you want the avocado? - No, move on. 336 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,893 Light sauce or full flavor? 337 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,398 Surprise me. 338 00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:50,404 That'll be $4.95. 339 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,793 Get in my car before I call your mother. 340 00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,541 Come on, man, give me a hint. 341 00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:06,753 Another hedge fund? Private equity? Are we starting our own firm? 342 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:07,928 Nah, that's chump change. 343 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,884 You're thinking like a mouse. Think like a king. 344 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,390 Hello, Mr. Doug. 345 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,557 Hola, Miguel. 346 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,101 It's Maria. 347 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,395 I don't know, man. I give up. 348 00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,564 After you. 349 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,647 Push the red blinking light. 350 00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:35,744 Hello. You have reached the Douglas S. Wilson Foundation, 351 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:39,828 a 501-C-3 nonprofit organization. 352 00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,214 We're starting a charity? That does what? 353 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:47,843 I don't know. But last week, Vehement donated a buttload of money to it. 354 00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:49,929 Holy shit. 355 00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:51,801 Charities? 356 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,133 Yes! 357 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:02,525 My brother took your gun and we don't know where he is 358 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,187 and he's killed before. 359 00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:11,029 So if I were you, I would keep your head below the windows. 360 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,913 Shane? It's Mom! 361 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:22,169 Can we talk before you do something incredibly stupid? 362 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,338 Hey, check this out. 363 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,883 Bitches be crazy, huh? 364 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,217 I need some air. 365 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:46,735 Okay- 366 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,230 Why are you here? 367 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,486 I'm a sandwich artist. 368 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:55,490 You are a 19-year-old from Agrestic, California. 369 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,786 You should be in college. 370 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,580 This is freak town. 371 00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:02,251 What are you doing here? You're supposed to be dead. 372 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,412 Or at least vegetative. 373 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,586 Yeah, well, I'm a walking miracle. 374 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,259 And I'm trying to protect you. 375 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:12,549 I can take care of myself. 376 00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:14,847 My dad taught me independence. 377 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,219 Oh, no, wait. 378 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,766 He ended up in a drain pipe. 379 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:20,811 I heard that. 380 00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,814 You know, I hope one day someone gives you some fresh roses 381 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,141 and you sneeze 382 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,353 and the bullet in your brain moves an eighth-inch to the right 383 00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:32,157 and you see blue and you smell cheese and you die. 384 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:38,950 Your father was a complicated man. 385 00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:41,453 He was a hero. 386 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,209 I didn't even kill him. 387 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:46,208 It was the Armenians and Heylia. Do your homework. 388 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:48,631 You can't even say you're sorry! 389 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,043 What are you doing? 390 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:53,378 Get out of the car. 391 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,634 No, that rifle has a half a mile range on it. 392 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,394 Okay. All right, all right. 393 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:06,186 Look, you need to fix your life. 394 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,851 It sucks you had to grow up without a dad, 395 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:12,313 but that is not an excuse to act like a psychopath. 396 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,736 Are you listening, Shane? 397 00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:17,944 Shooting me did not solve your problems. 398 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,825 Please! I have a girlfriend. 399 00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:22,828 About that, I told her about the assassination attempt. 400 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:25,751 She was pretty mad. She might not be there anymore. 401 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:26,998 I need to get home. 402 00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:28,750 You have to pay attention, okay? 403 00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:31,673 I can't be responsible for another messed-up kid. 404 00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,751 The door, please, open. 405 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,381 Bury the rabbits. 406 00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:36,758 Pack up your car. 407 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:39,056 Stop fucking the Amish. 408 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:42,100 Become a nutritionist, okay? 409 00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:43,519 These are my conditions. 410 00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:45,596 Then you can get back in the car, 411 00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,727 we can talk about how to fix this, okay? 412 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,434 - Okay. - All right. 413 00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:50,689 Can I borrow some gas money? 414 00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:53,442 If you give me a hug. 415 00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:54,693 Bitch. 416 00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,281 Yeah, well. 417 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,580 - Andy! - What the fuck are you doing? 418 00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:13,378 What the fuck is he doing here? 419 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,131 You were supposed to take them to the mall! 420 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,383 Balls! Balls to the mall! 421 00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:20,556 - What's on your feet? - Dog socks. 422 00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:22,975 Textured socks for dogs. 423 00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:25,603 - Why? - I'm supposed to return those! 424 00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:33,486 You won't even notice it, sewing it right back in. 425 00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,063 What the heck you doing to my kid? 426 00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:36,647 Please. She started it. 427 00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:39,199 Don't cut my kid's hair. It's her hair. 428 00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,403 What's with all the hostility? 429 00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:43,362 Did you learn nothing in India? 430 00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,164 - Scott! - Dad, break his face! 431 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,332 Yeah! We want blood! 432 00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:48,534 No, we don't! 433 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:50,915 Come on, he's not gonna fight. 434 00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:53,293 L'oeuf. The egg. 435 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:54,919 The French egg. 436 00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:01,718 Dad, make a fist! Don't you know how to punch? 437 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,049 Andy, hit him in the face! 438 00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:04,634 No! No face! 439 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:06,890 - Fucker! - You're slapping! 440 00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:08,846 Geez, Dad, you got sand in your pooter? 441 00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:11,057 - Hey! No pooter! - Oh, God! 442 00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,767 What are you doing? 443 00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:14,602 Don't throw. 444 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,692 - Hey, hey! - We hate you both! 445 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:23,027 - Girls, I am trying, okay? - You ungrateful little shits. 446 00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:24,862 - Yes, I admit it. - You think the Sebring was for me? 447 00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,037 - I forged the signature... - Wrong. 448 00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:27,615 Do you think you're the reason we're separated? 449 00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:29,917 - But come on. It's Raquel Welch. - Guess what'? You're right. 450 00:23:29,992 --> 00:23:31,585 - What did you expect? - But this divorce does not give you 451 00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:34,539 - What am I to her? Like she'd respond - the carte blanche to wear black eye shadow 452 00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:37,375 - if I just put it in the regular mail. - And give up your virginity to ethnics! 453 00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:39,381 You know what? I'm glad he cut off that filthy little rat tail! 454 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:41,303 - Scott? - I've been to Mumbai, just got back, 455 00:23:41,378 --> 00:23:44,723 and little girls over there are selling their hair for money 456 00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:46,141 and then pooping in the river! 457 00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:47,388 Do you even hear what you're saying? 458 00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:50,017 No, you know what? I'm not even close to done, Jill! 459 00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:51,972 - You think we wanted twins? - Scott! 460 00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:54,184 We wanted one kid, uno! 461 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,143 You know what I said when I saw the sonogram? 462 00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:58,274 "Screw this. Let's abort and get a boat." 463 00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:01,532 I am saying very horrible things. 464 00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:02,654 This isn't me. 465 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,452 Twins, I apologize. 466 00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:08,701 I gotta go back to Calcutta and get away from all this crap. 467 00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:10,749 You'll hear from my lawyer, Jill. 468 00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:12,246 I'll be back in the fall. 469 00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:14,374 In the meantime, girls, 470 00:24:14,995 --> 00:24:16,542 listen to Andy. 471 00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:27,133 Go to your room. 472 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:33,188 She left us, Peter, Peter, 473 00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:36,233 Peter, Peter, Peter... 474 00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:40,104 You're welcome. 475 00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:43,487 Tim, pack up what you need and go straight to California. 476 00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:45,533 Come on. No stopping. 477 00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:47,903 Did it hurt, getting shot? 478 00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:49,788 I don't really remember, honey. 479 00:24:49,863 --> 00:24:51,615 I'm just trying to prepare myself. 480 00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:53,918 They have really good doctors now. Come on. Let's go. 481 00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:58,373 Go in the bathroom. Go in the bathroom! Go! Go! Go! 482 00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:02,255 Great, she took her fucking toothbrush. 483 00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:06,630 - Where is he? - Shane? 484 00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:10,059 Jesus, this place makes my shack look like the Taj Mahal. 485 00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:12,720 Yeah, go ahead. 486 00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:15,476 Mr. Scottson, we have a warrant. 487 00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:17,274 The state of Connecticut is placing you under arrest 488 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,397 for the attempted murder of Nancy Botwin. 489 00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:22,070 This is Sergeant Jensen, OSPD, arresting officer, 490 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:24,781 and Officer Thurgood Notgood, local jurisdiction. 491 00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:27,485 He didn't do it. He didn't. 492 00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:28,990 He has an alibi. 493 00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:30,195 Ask his girlfriend. 494 00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:33,078 He was baking his girlfriend a pie. 495 00:25:34,033 --> 00:25:36,456 We have the gun and the shell casings and guess what? 496 00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:38,754 The carpet matched the drapes. 497 00:25:38,829 --> 00:25:40,001 You found my pubic hair? 498 00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:42,671 I'm not pressing charges. 499 00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:45,503 Anything above manslaughter goes straight to the DA. It's not your call. 500 00:25:45,586 --> 00:25:46,929 Ma'am, step aside, please. 501 00:25:48,422 --> 00:25:49,765 It's okay. 502 00:25:50,924 --> 00:25:52,426 Ma'am, please. 503 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,689 You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. 504 00:26:01,769 --> 00:26:05,444 Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. 505 00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:08,776 These kids, they make one mistake, and it follows them their whole lives. 506 00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:13,364 If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. 507 00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:14,914 Hey. 508 00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:16,909 Smile, Mom. 509 00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:19,120 He's trying to impress you. 510 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:08,469 What's with all the cops? 511 00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,380 Drive, Larry. Drive!