1
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,915
- I told you.
- Told me what?

2
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:58,191
That you'd be sorry you ever
encouraged me to cry here.

3
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,117
I'm not sorry at all.

4
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,910
- Didn't expect it to be like this, I bet.
- Like what?

5
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,752
You know what? It's disappointing.

6
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,600
I thought I'd feel better, relieved.

7
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,878
- Thought it'd be a lot more fun.
- And it isn't?

8
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,150
No, it's horrible.

9
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,192
I don't know if I'm gonna be able
to talk today, Paul.

10
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,319
I shouldn't have come, I should have just...

11
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,555
I should have just called it off. I'm sorry.

12
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,678
Are you all right?

13
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,029
- Yeah.
- Sit down. Sit.

14
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,837
I've been sitting out in the park
for about four hours.

15
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,911
- Here?
- Yeah.

16
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,356
I wanted to call it off, the session, but...

17
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,868
I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it home alone.

18
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,829
I took a cab here. My car's at home.

19
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,591
God, at least I think it is.

20
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:12,788
Yeah, yeah, my car's at home.

21
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:21,112
God, it's freezing. I came this close to knocking
on your door and asking for a sweater.

22
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,993
- When was that?
- I don't know, maybe five or six.

23
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,713
I can't remember. It was still dark.

24
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,830
Waited for the sun to come up.

25
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,637
I never waited this long for a sunrise,

26
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,672
except maybe on a camping trip
in fifth grade.

27
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:40,877
Thank you.

28
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,077
(Sniffs)

29
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,634
- You know what I did?
- What?

30
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,389
I held my cellphone
and I watched the minutes go by.

31
00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:07,992
It felt like forever
for one minute to turn into the next.

32
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,632
I thought to myself, "How stupid is this?

33
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:16,119
"Dying on a street like roadkill
outside your therapist's office."

34
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,835
I'm sorry, Paul, I...

35
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,269
I should have called it off.
I shouldn't have come.

36
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,595
You should have come here.

37
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:40,958
What happened last night?

38
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,751
Well, what didn't happen?

39
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,951
Want the long version or the bottom line?

40
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,355
Because the bottom line's very simple.

41
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,471
My life is over.

42
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,398
Then you'd better tell me the long version.

43
00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:15,238
I left Andrew. We had a big blowout -

44
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,430
screaming, crying, the works.

45
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,080
Then at some point, I called Ilona,

46
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,510
and we went out for a drink, and...

47
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,154
we had a few drinks.

48
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,954
Listen, I'm not here. I'm so totally not here.

49
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,798
You are very much here, Laura.

50
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,671
No, it's not me that's here.

51
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,551
Believe me, you'd be shocked to know
the person that's sitting here.

52
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,636
Did some...

53
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,148
I did some terrible things last night.

54
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,795
(Groans)

55
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,638
I feel sick.

56
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:03,912
I don't wanna throw up.

57
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,713
- Doesn't matter, it's no big deal.
- What do you mean?

58
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,036
It's vomit. I'm not gonna vomit all over your rug.

59
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,752
It's a cheap rug, Laura.

60
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,757
Let's talk about what's really going on here.

61
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,237
Hm?

62
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,469
(Sighs)

63
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,636
(Mobile rings)

64
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:43,634
It's Andrew. He knows I'm here at this time.
Why is he calling me here?

65
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,035
Maybe he's worried. You were out all night.

66
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,516
Yeah, right. If he really cared,
he wouldn't have started with this shit.

67
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,357
Start what?

68
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,791
At the club with this guy...

69
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,551
Oh, my God.

70
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,475
He had corduroy pants on,

71
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,511
preppy sweater.

72
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,192
Republican probably.

73
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,071
(Phone beeps)

74
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,153
(Sighs)

75
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:23,112
Can I just step out for a second
and let him know I'm here?

76
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,151
I can't concentrate with this shit.

77
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,514
- Just a sec.
- Laura, the call can wait.

78
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,190
(Sighs)

79
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,276
Andrew gave me an ultimatum.

80
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,835
Either we get married or we split.

81
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:58,151
Said he wants an answer in a day or two
at the most, or else he's out.

82
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,191
Said he can't take it any more.

83
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:05,517
That he loves me,
that he doesn't believe I love him, not for real.

84
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:10,429
That it's been two years already,
on and off, blah, blah, blah.

85
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:14,917
I don't know why. All of a sudden,
he just started ranting and raving.

86
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,599
We've talked about this stuff before,

87
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:22,713
but it was all in theory -
if we stayed together, if.

88
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,591
And suddenly out of the blue,

89
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,712
I can't even remember
what we were doing...

90
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,716
We were watching TV.

91
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,355
All of a sudden he just gets off the couch,
grabs the remote and turns off the TV,

92
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,153
and he turns to me and he has tears
in his eyes and he says,

93
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,236
"That's it, I can't take it any more."

94
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:44,233
So out of line. He promised
he'd lay off the subject for a while.

95
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,999
And all of a sudden
he's on this crying bullshit.

96
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:50,430
He actually burst out crying.
I've never seen him like that before.

97
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,315
And to tell you the truth it really scared me.

98
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,554
- No, it made me angry.
- Why?

99
00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:00,513
He's trying to manipulate me
with these cheap chick tricks.

100
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:04,269
Maybe he thought he would
break my heart or something.

101
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,390
Or appeal to my...

102
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,670
Shit, you know, forget it, I don't know.

103
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,751
I threw a tantrum like a three-year-old.

104
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,791
I screamed, cried...

105
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,951
told him to fuck off...

106
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,358
told him he was a little piece of shit
for doing this to me

107
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:26,234
when he knows I'm working double shifts
at the hospital this week.

108
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:31,400
I slammed the door,
smashed his laptop on the floor, I killed it,

109
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,954
I ran out and I called Ilona.

110
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,991
She dressed me in this outfit.

111
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,912
It's, it's not mine.

112
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:46,952
We went out for a drink at a club
that she likes on Chester Street.

113
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:50,390
She tried to calm me down,
put things into perspective.

114
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,237
And she said...

115
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,991
She said that I was lucky...

116
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:03,718
that she wished somebody had loved her
enough to give her an ultimatum.

117
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:11,073
And then we drank. Well, I drank.

118
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,590
And there's this guy at the bar,

119
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,872
and at some point Ilona said that she was tired
and that she needed to go home.

120
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,911
And then that guy...

121
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,311
moved next to me, and, erm...

122
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,351
You know what he said?

123
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,710
He said, "You look so sad."

124
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,757
And I said, "Really?"

125
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:38,509
And he said, "Yeah, you do.
It looks good on you."

126
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:42,833
"Looks good on you."

127
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:47,396
Whatever happened to, "Do you have
the time?" or, "Haven't we met before?"

128
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,556
I must be totally out of touch, Paul.

129
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,915
What do you think?
I mean, do I look good when I'm sad?

130
00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,151
I don't think anybody looks good
when they're sad.

131
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,357
And then, er,

132
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:14,029
I don't know how much I had to drink
cos he was ordering for me, of course,

133
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,959
and then he paid the bill and he asked me,
"Would you like to go somewhere else?"

134
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,151
And I said,
"Yes, I'd like to go to the bathroom."

135
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,873
So I stood up and I went to the bathroom,

136
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,036
he follows me.

137
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:29,709
And you wouldn't believe it
but these were unisex bathrooms.

138
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,955
Am I unlucky or what?

139
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,718
How do you mean, unlucky?

140
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,869
Well, I'm running away from a guy and I'm...

141
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,911
You were trying to get away from the guy.

142
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,190
I mean, I needed to pee, by myself,

143
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,800
I've been doing that since I was three.

144
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:49,957
So I realise I needed to make a decision.

145
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,676
By following me to the bathroom,
this guy was also giving me an ultimatum.

146
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,952
I thought, "Fuck, out of the pan and into
the fire." I ran away from one ultimatum,

147
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,072
and there was this guy with a hard on
giving me another.

148
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,831
Suddenly I felt like doing it.

149
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,709
I never had sex in a bathroom before.

150
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,799
I mean, what, I should go and marry Andrew

151
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:22,719
without ever knowing
what a good bathroom fuck's all about?

152
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,479
It's part of a young lady's education, isn't it?

153
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,715
So you wanted to do it

154
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,753
but not to get back at Andrew,
just for yourself?

155
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,711
That's right.

156
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,875
A girl being forced into marriage...

157
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,950
what's she supposed to do, die ignorant?

158
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,074
So this guy follows me into the stall and...

159
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,397
suddenly...

160
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,391
I was horny.

161
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,799
- Is hearing about this disgusting to you?
- No. It's not disgusting.

162
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,951
Go on.

163
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:08,632
He unzipped, pulled down his pants,

164
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:10,750
and he stood there with this...

165
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,272
huge...

166
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,791
Oh, God, I felt like I was 16...

167
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,551
touching it for the very first time.

168
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:29,394
I was really surprised at how...

169
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,954
warm it felt.

170
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,070
I mean, don't I know that already?

171
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,995
And then he turned me round
to face the door...

172
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,510
and he pulled down my stockings.

173
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,198
He lifted up my skirt,

174
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,232
put his hand into his back pocket
and pulled out a condom.

175
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:57,551
I realise this guy's very good at this,
he does this a lot, he's a real pro.

176
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,833
And then this guy entered the stall next to us

177
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,394
and started peeing,

178
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:08,238
and gushes full volume like a racehorse.

179
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,031
And I thought of Andrew...

180
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,750
how... how he pees in the morning,

181
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,791
making the same sound.

182
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,471
My heart ached, I just...

183
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:32,116
It was so stupid, you know,
I just felt so sad all of a sudden,

184
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,311
and then he's behind me
and he's rubbing up against me

185
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,351
and he's feeling me up.

186
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:43,152
And I thought to myself, "It's gonna happen
any moment now," and I just...

187
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,031
I just couldn't do it.

188
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,789
I simply closed my legs shut.
I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it to Andrew.

189
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,831
I just couldn't do it.

190
00:13:58,360 --> 00:13:59,873
Well, seems like quite a night out.

191
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:04,596
Well, yeah, that's not the end of it,
because this idiot, I told him,

192
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,871
"I'm really sorry but I have a boyfriend,
I can't do this."

193
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,878
And he says, "Boo-hoo,"
and he grabs my hands and he says,

194
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:16,040
"Listen, cupcake, you think you can leave me
high and dry like this?" Pointing at his dick.

195
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,674
"The least you can do is make it up to me."

196
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:22,474
I said to him, "What do you want?
You want some money?"

197
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,114
He said, "Give me a hand job

198
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,674
"and there'll be no hard feelings."

199
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,110
And I said to him, "What's the matter with you?
Are you crazy?"

200
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:35,438
And it was just getting really strange.
It was tense. His tone changed.

201
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,912
(Sighs) And then...

202
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,155
And then I thought of you.

203
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,479
What you'd say about it.

204
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,993
I thought about us going through this
in therapy.

205
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:55,276
And what did you imagine us saying?

206
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,997
I imagined you not being able to understand it.

207
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,431
That you'd be disgusted.

208
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,916
Is that why you ran over here?

209
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,839
To find out if I would be disgusted?

210
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,471
I didn't run.

211
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,391
I gave him the hand job.

212
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,751
God. Excuse me.

213
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,191
(Coughing)

214
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,673
- (Paul) You OK?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

215
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,235
(Liquid being poured)

216
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,072
Yeah.

217
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,629
Thank you.

218
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,872
We, erm...

219
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,798
We talked about what happened
at the, er, the club last night

220
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:22,277
but we never got back
to actually talking about Andrew

221
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,436
and that argument yesterday.

222
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,238
I don't wanna be put in this position.

223
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,273
I don't wanna have this power to decide
our future for both of us. I just don't.

224
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,278
Do you have any idea why Andrew
chose this particular time?

225
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,153
- What do you mean?
- Do you think that Andrew,

226
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,714
just out of the blue,

227
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,957
as you said yourself,
came up with this idea of an ultimatum?

228
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,878
Did you notice anything
over the last couple of days or weeks

229
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,150
that you think might have brought this on?

230
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,831
Nothing, I don't know. He just lost it.

231
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,189
Shit, don't you know that
men are the new women?

232
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:59,028
Obsessed with weddings and children.
And lately he's lost touch with reality.

233
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:03,153
He thinks I'm seeing someone. That's how
this whole thing started. It's unbelievable.

234
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,033
I thought you said it came out of nowhere.

235
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,913
- You were watching TV and then suddenly...
- We were watching TV

236
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:13,670
but, before that, we were having dinner
and he had this look on his face, this sad look,

237
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,473
and I could tell something was up.
You can just tell, right?

238
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:20,354
And I said to him, "What's going on?"
And he said, "I don't know what I want,

239
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,039
"I just know I don't want this on-and-off thing."

240
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:27,073
So I said to him, "Sure." And then, "Let's just
decide, either we get married or we split."

241
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,429
- So you were the one who came up with it.
- With what?

242
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,357
- The ultimatum.
- No, he's the one.

243
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,595
He had the problem with the on-and-off thing.

244
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,949
Yeah, but on and off can mean several things.

245
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,594
You were the one who made it specific -

246
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,473
get married or to split up,
that was your ultimatum.

247
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,159
No, no, no, he had this thing
with this on and o...

248
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,792
The ultim...

249
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:54,917
Yeah, OK. I was the first one
to say it, you're right.

250
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,713
But he jumped all over it.
I said I didn't know what I want

251
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:01,355
and he said, "You have a day or two max
to decide what you want."

252
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:05,757
And I said, "Fine." And then he started crying
and blah, blah, blah.

253
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:11,033
- The whole thing was scary to him, I think.
- What about you? Weren't you scared?

254
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,152
- Of what?
- Of splitting up.

255
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,033
I wasn't suggesting that we split up.
That's not the point.

256
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:20,914
So what do you think was the point
of this argument that you may have initiated?

257
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,473
I didn't initiate anything.

258
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,398
No, you may not have meant to, but you did.

259
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,592
It sounds like you wanted to
bring this relationship into crisis.

260
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,038
I know you say that Andrew
hates uncertainties

261
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,834
but perhaps you're the one
who can't live with them.

262
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:45,391
Why did you choose this particular time
to bring things to a head?

263
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,431
I did no such thing.

264
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,712
Why now?

265
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,791
Cos he's right.

266
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,071
Andrew's right.

267
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,435
I am being unfaithful to him.

268
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,909
You mean what happened last night
at the club?

269
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,991
Not just last night.

270
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,272
I've been unfaithful to him for a long time.

271
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,595
So, why haven't we talked about this before?

272
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,551
I think we have.

273
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,111
It's been here all along.

274
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,275
You mean to say you've never noticed it?

275
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:42,994
You're surprised.

276
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:49,433
No, I'm not surprised,
I just... I don't follow what you mean.

277
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:00,271
This isn't...

278
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,914
the reaction I was hoping for.

279
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,833
Not at all.

280
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,713
What was the reaction
that you were hoping for?

281
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,070
I...

282
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:16,237
I had two scenarios in my head.

283
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,158
In the first one,
you stand up and you hug me...

284
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,075
and you say, "I love you.

285
00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:25,111
"Love you too, Laura.

286
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,555
"I've been feeling this way for a long time,

287
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,353
"I just wanted you to be the first one to say it."

288
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,791
And then we make love.

289
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,158
And the, erm...

290
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,749
the second scenario?

291
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,791
It's like the first one but...

292
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:47,871
but without the sex,

293
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,911
we just sit here together.

294
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,635
You know, I'm embarrassed
to even talk about it.

295
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,035
You're sitting there like a fucking Buddha,

296
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:04,277
acting like you have no idea
what I'm talking about. It's humiliating.

297
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,874
How long have you felt like this?

298
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,751
A year.

299
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:14,633
From the first session.

300
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,673
I thought it'd go away, I thought,
"It's just an infatuation, that's all."

301
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,311
But it's getting worse.

302
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,790
You've become the centre of my life.

303
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,436
Laura...

304
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,471
I'm your therapist.

305
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,359
The parameters and the limitations...

306
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,119
are established and ethically defined.

307
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,558
I'm not an option.

308
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:57,276
You may be using me as a...

309
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:04,319
as an excuse to bail
from your relationship with, with Andrew.

310
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,071
You know why I didn't fuck that guy?

311
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,676
Not because of Andrew,

312
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,269
not because I didn't wanna cheat on him,
I do wanna cheat on him,

313
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,311
but with you.

314
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,197
When I was sitting there at the bar by myself,

315
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,152
I was thinking, "What would happen
if you were to walk in?"

316
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:37,193
You'd walk in, you'd sit next to me at the bar,
you'd order a drink.

317
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,118
I even tried to imagine what you would order.

318
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,948
A shot of bourbon, maybe,
something expensive, something fancy.

319
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,911
Then we'd start talking.

320
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,428
"What a coincidence it is to meet like this,

321
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,597
"how awkward it is to meet outside the office."

322
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,710
And then, without words,

323
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,399
because we talk enough when we're here...

324
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,278
you motion for me to follow you
to the bathroom.

325
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,311
And I do.

326
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,919
When I went into the stall with that guy...

327
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,595
I imagined it was you behind me.

328
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,631
That's what made it so exciting.

329
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,638
Then that guy started peeing

330
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,513
and it woke me up
and I realised that it's impossible.

331
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,718
I know it, I understand it. I tell myself that
every time I walk out of here.

332
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:35,116
I know it, I understand it but I'm not sure
that my body understands it.

333
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,275
I know it can never happen, I know.

334
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,229
So don't worry,
I'm not gonna start showing up here,

335
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,999
I'm not gonna start stalking you like...

336
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:48,678
Glenn Close in that movie.

337
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,718
I'm not gonna boil your kid's rabbit.

338
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,751
I'm not dangerous.

339
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,788
At least not to you.

340
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,274
God, how can I go back to my life?

341
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,311
To the hospital, to Andrew.

342
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:09,512
Not to Andrew when the only thing
that matters to me is you.

343
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:15,918
(Heavy footsteps above)

344
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,556
Our time's up.

345
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,078
Yes, it is.

346
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,513
I feel like I came here in the dark
and I'm leaving into a bigger darkness.

347
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,831
What am I gonna do now?

348
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,315
We'll talk about it next week.

349
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:52,993
OK?

350
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,151
I'll call you a taxi.

351
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,831
No, I'm fine.

352
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,917
Are you sure?

353
00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:13,111
How are you going to get home?

354
00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:58,589
English SDH