1
00:00:02,275 --> 00:00:05,489
God, Alice was being
such a dickhead today, huh?
2
00:00:05,528 --> 00:00:07,625
You give out
laser-pointer key chains,
3
00:00:07,693 --> 00:00:10,372
and you expect us to be adult
enough not to play with them?
4
00:00:10,397 --> 00:00:11,572
I mean, are you thick?
5
00:00:11,596 --> 00:00:13,374
You were just pointing 'em
at people's crotches.
6
00:00:13,403 --> 00:00:15,688
That's what they're there for.
That's fun.
7
00:00:15,712 --> 00:00:16,938
Dude, if she was here right now,
8
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,176
I've drank enough, to the point
9
00:00:18,207 --> 00:00:19,813
where I would go right to her face,
10
00:00:19,852 --> 00:00:21,129
and I would say,
11
00:00:21,205 --> 00:00:23,083
"you're dumb and no one loves you."
12
00:00:23,133 --> 00:00:24,038
I'd say that to her.
13
00:00:24,052 --> 00:00:25,140
That was really good.
14
00:00:25,167 --> 00:00:26,577
You should tell that to her face.
15
00:00:26,631 --> 00:00:28,396
- Yeah, I totally would.
- Through her ear hole,
16
00:00:28,408 --> 00:00:29,559
which is in her face,
17
00:00:29,589 --> 00:00:31,033
'cause I just called her work phone.
18
00:00:31,055 --> 00:00:32,005
- What?
- Did you?
19
00:00:32,024 --> 00:00:33,628
- I did.
- It's her voicemail.
20
00:00:33,681 --> 00:00:34,850
Leave a voicemail.
21
00:00:35,016 --> 00:00:38,395
Hey, Alice, this is Blake.
22
00:00:38,561 --> 00:00:43,492
And I just thought
that maybe you should...
23
00:00:43,774 --> 00:00:44,993
Stick a fork up your butt
and eat poo,
24
00:00:45,118 --> 00:00:46,362
because you're a dickhead.
25
00:00:46,652 --> 00:00:48,764
Oh, my God.
26
00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:51,233
It's so sad how much you love me
27
00:00:51,358 --> 00:00:54,703
and you look at me from a distance
28
00:00:54,869 --> 00:00:57,735
and you get all
♪ juicy
29
00:00:58,537 --> 00:00:59,782
in your pants.
30
00:00:59,832 --> 00:01:01,985
You might be the boss,
but you, ma'am,
31
00:01:02,022 --> 00:01:03,873
- are no leader.
- Yeah!
32
00:01:03,919 --> 00:01:06,333
And one time I heard you queef.
Slam!
33
00:01:07,923 --> 00:01:10,088
Get amped on Demamp!
34
00:01:10,213 --> 00:01:12,545
Cornhuskers rule!
35
00:01:12,570 --> 00:01:13,563
Tits are rad!
36
00:01:13,582 --> 00:01:15,503
Not yours though.
I bet they're c-caved.
37
00:01:15,598 --> 00:01:17,151
You don't know how to delegate.
38
00:01:17,187 --> 00:01:18,655
You don't know how to motivate.
39
00:01:18,684 --> 00:01:20,203
And you sure as hell can't encourage
40
00:01:20,221 --> 00:01:21,164
any kind of innovation.
41
00:01:21,185 --> 00:01:23,277
Let the boys be boys.
Slam!
44
00:01:27,193 --> 00:01:28,918
- Go shave your muff!
- Suck it.
45
00:01:28,947 --> 00:01:30,992
Bitch, you got
too many teeth in your mouth.
46
00:01:33,449 --> 00:01:36,212
Yo, you look like you smoke,
and I know that you don't.
47
00:01:36,236 --> 00:01:39,293
So that hits even closer to home.
48
00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:40,315
I hate you.
I hate you.
49
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:41,583
- Yep, yep.
- I hate you.
50
00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:42,918
I hate you!
51
00:01:43,084 --> 00:01:44,720
I hate you!
I hate you!
52
00:01:44,845 --> 00:01:46,054
I hate you!
53
00:01:46,179 --> 00:01:48,757
I hate you!
54
00:01:48,882 --> 00:01:50,634
- I hate her.
- Yeah.
55
00:02:00,450 --> 00:02:01,563
Oh, no.
56
00:02:01,602 --> 00:02:03,359
Dude.
Dude, the voicemails!
57
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:04,585
- Wake up Demamp!
- Hmm?
58
00:02:04,628 --> 00:02:05,546
Where's Blake?
59
00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:07,925
- What?
- Blake!
60
00:02:07,998 --> 00:02:09,324
Yo.
61
00:02:12,684 --> 00:02:14,226
How did you...
62
00:02:14,577 --> 00:02:15,534
I don't know.
63
00:02:23,332 --> 00:02:26,926
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
64
00:02:28,874 --> 00:02:30,262
Blake, let's go.
65
00:02:30,281 --> 00:02:32,192
Alice gets to the office
five minutes early every day,
66
00:02:32,355 --> 00:02:34,274
which gives us 29 minutes
to beat her there
67
00:02:34,292 --> 00:02:35,374
and delete those messages.
68
00:02:35,412 --> 00:02:37,002
That's weird.
I don't even feel hungover.
69
00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,650
I drank, like, 17 beers,
70
00:02:38,683 --> 00:02:40,201
and I feel way better
than I normal do.
71
00:02:40,367 --> 00:02:41,661
Yeah, you know,
maybe as you get older
72
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:42,912
you get better at hangovers.
73
00:02:43,366 --> 00:02:44,910
That has to be a fact.
74
00:02:45,013 --> 00:02:46,159
Whoa!
75
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:48,477
- Jesus.
- What the...
76
00:02:48,837 --> 00:02:51,674
Guys, we're still drunk.
77
00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:53,760
We got to take the bus.
Let's go!
78
00:02:53,797 --> 00:02:55,883
- Yep, I'll meet you guys there.
- Wait, where are you going?
79
00:02:55,905 --> 00:02:57,882
- Inside. We need beers.
- Wait, no!
80
00:02:57,894 --> 00:02:59,561
Beers is what
got us in this situation.
81
00:02:59,588 --> 00:03:00,913
Yeah, and it's
what's gonna get us out.
82
00:03:00,939 --> 00:03:03,182
We're drunk right now,
and we feel great, right?
83
00:03:03,407 --> 00:03:05,418
If this hangover kicks in...
84
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:08,513
- We're screwed.
- He's right, we have no choice.
85
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,501
We have to stay drunk
till we get to the office.
86
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,573
Oh, and I'll get
87
00:03:11,585 --> 00:03:13,348
my sharper image breathalyzer
key chain from the car.
88
00:03:13,366 --> 00:03:15,192
That way, we can monitor
our blood alcohol level, guys.
89
00:03:15,253 --> 00:03:16,446
Yeah! Blood alcohol level!
90
00:03:16,493 --> 00:03:17,965
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, Adam!
91
00:03:17,993 --> 00:03:20,505
Let me get tecates
and a couple of limes, okay?
92
00:03:20,557 --> 00:03:23,010
- You got it.
- Oh, and Adam?
93
00:03:23,766 --> 00:03:25,650
Thank you for being a true Braj.
94
00:03:25,691 --> 00:03:27,302
You're welcome, Braj.
95
00:03:27,746 --> 00:03:29,852
- Stay up.
- I will.
96
00:03:29,927 --> 00:03:31,330
Always.
97
00:03:31,373 --> 00:03:32,766
- Come on, let's go.
- Always, man.
98
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,151
True soldiers, for real.
99
00:03:34,184 --> 00:03:35,457
- Dude!
- You're my best friend!
100
00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:37,421
- You're my best friend, dude!
- Come on!
101
00:03:37,475 --> 00:03:38,794
I love that guy, man!
102
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,847
- Damn, I forgot a belt!
- Shhh.
103
00:03:40,881 --> 00:03:43,145
Yo-ba sayo.
104
00:03:43,161 --> 00:03:44,570
Jillian, it's Anders.
Listen to me.
105
00:03:44,723 --> 00:03:46,609
I need you
to go into Alice's voicemail
106
00:03:46,628 --> 00:03:48,471
and delete all her messages
before she gets in today.
107
00:03:48,501 --> 00:03:49,991
Oh, I would happily do that,
108
00:03:50,016 --> 00:03:51,409
but it's password-protected.
109
00:03:51,437 --> 00:03:52,617
What? You're her assistant.
110
00:03:52,642 --> 00:03:53,955
You don't access to her voicemails?
111
00:03:54,012 --> 00:03:56,625
Her mom kept leaving
these mean messages
112
00:03:56,656 --> 00:03:58,438
about how Alice was a bad daughter,
113
00:03:58,483 --> 00:04:00,746
so I couldn't take it,
and I finally just called her
114
00:04:00,764 --> 00:04:01,931
and I said, "look, lady,
115
00:04:01,971 --> 00:04:04,391
shut your mouth
and find a hobby."
116
00:04:07,004 --> 00:04:09,581
♪ And I've had it up to here
117
00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:12,118
♪ with the static in the ocean
118
00:04:12,243 --> 00:04:14,921
♪ sweet and salty in the sky
119
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,479
♪ it's a level of devotion...
120
00:04:16,797 --> 00:04:19,634
Ders, I'm fading!
Breathalyze me!
121
00:04:19,731 --> 00:04:21,000
- She's a grown adult...
- Here it is.
122
00:04:21,030 --> 00:04:21,955
That looks like a baby.
123
00:04:27,057 --> 00:04:32,355
♪ On a skateboard,
tattooing up your mind ♪
124
00:04:32,521 --> 00:04:37,443
Coming through! Hustle.
Whoo!
125
00:04:41,822 --> 00:04:43,717
Jillian, I just need you
to figure out this password,
126
00:04:43,842 --> 00:04:45,185
get in there
and delete those voicemails.
127
00:04:45,310 --> 00:04:47,553
- Tell me you can do that.
- I'd say yeah...
128
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:50,957
Considering I know Alice Murray
better than she knows herself.
129
00:04:51,216 --> 00:04:53,334
It's Alice Murphy, actually.
130
00:04:53,731 --> 00:04:56,151
Damn it!
I just blew a .09.
131
00:04:56,278 --> 00:04:58,922
Where is Adam with those beers?
Man, I can't get a hangover.
132
00:04:58,941 --> 00:05:00,441
You know how I am
when I have a hangover.
133
00:05:00,584 --> 00:05:02,269
I'm bitchy. I'm very bitchy.
134
00:05:02,342 --> 00:05:04,826
.10. We are dangerously close
to being hungover.
135
00:05:04,845 --> 00:05:06,264
Oh, I feel a headache.
136
00:05:06,653 --> 00:05:08,032
Feel a headache.
137
00:05:08,655 --> 00:05:10,421
- Oh, here we go.
- Where are the beers?
138
00:05:10,475 --> 00:05:13,271
They're all gone, man.
They're all gone, man!
139
00:05:13,437 --> 00:05:15,350
- ♪ Living that blade life
- What are you talking about?
140
00:05:15,393 --> 00:05:16,756
I just saw you drink one right now.
141
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,397
Yeah, the last one, Ders.
142
00:05:18,476 --> 00:05:19,896
Think, speak.
143
00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:22,238
Okay, well, I know we had more
than one beer in the house.
144
00:05:22,272 --> 00:05:23,629
- No, we had four.
- Uh-huh.
145
00:05:23,682 --> 00:05:24,789
But there's three of us.
146
00:05:24,865 --> 00:05:26,626
And 1 1/2 beers each...
147
00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:28,403
That's not enough
to get us kablamo-ed.
148
00:05:28,417 --> 00:05:29,660
But for one person,
149
00:05:29,785 --> 00:05:32,186
that might be enough
to take us to the level.
150
00:05:32,214 --> 00:05:34,675
Let me hit this,
'cause I'm feeling ripe.
151
00:05:36,194 --> 00:05:39,406
Whoa. I'm level...
That's a .25.
152
00:05:39,424 --> 00:05:41,251
- Holy...
- I'm leveled!
153
00:05:41,287 --> 00:05:43,513
- Here we go, here we go.
- Hey, right here!
154
00:05:43,525 --> 00:05:45,159
- Come on.
- Whoa, front of the line.
155
00:05:45,190 --> 00:05:47,034
Excuse me, folks.
We got an emergency, here.
156
00:05:47,058 --> 00:05:48,603
Come on, come on.
157
00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:50,842
Hey, okay,
would you just be a bus angel
158
00:05:50,861 --> 00:05:52,610
and drive us right to Telamericorp,
159
00:05:52,634 --> 00:05:54,777
no stops or anything?
We've got a work emergency.
160
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,679
You got some brats on the bus?
161
00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,353
Or a churro?
I'm starving right now.
162
00:05:58,381 --> 00:06:01,120
Guys, we're not going anywhere
till everyone's on the bus.
163
00:06:01,158 --> 00:06:03,767
So sit down.
164
00:06:04,158 --> 00:06:06,327
Let's go!
Come on!
165
00:06:06,406 --> 00:06:08,367
Time to go.
166
00:06:08,420 --> 00:06:09,881
Just follow this laser pointer.
167
00:06:09,904 --> 00:06:11,468
We got some open seats
right in the back,
168
00:06:11,495 --> 00:06:13,064
right down there,
if you want to see that.
169
00:06:13,092 --> 00:06:14,876
Adam, help this guy out
with his money, please.
170
00:06:14,915 --> 00:06:16,909
- You got money in here?
- Help him out.
171
00:06:17,034 --> 00:06:19,118
What are you doing?
Stop it.
172
00:06:19,149 --> 00:06:20,962
Handkerchief. Gross.
173
00:06:21,012 --> 00:06:22,456
Sir, you're never
gonna catch any fish
174
00:06:22,487 --> 00:06:23,824
if you take this long, come on.
175
00:06:23,874 --> 00:06:25,840
Tuck the pole.
Watch your eyes, everybody.
176
00:06:25,873 --> 00:06:27,871
- What are you doing?
- I'm skitching.
177
00:06:27,902 --> 00:06:29,552
No, you are not skitching.
Let's go.
178
00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:31,602
Adam, we will next time,
I promise. Come on.
179
00:06:33,239 --> 00:06:35,514
- We did it again.
- We did it!
180
00:06:35,552 --> 00:06:36,975
And I thought
we weren't gonna make it.
181
00:06:37,016 --> 00:06:38,034
We'll be fine now.
182
00:06:38,066 --> 00:06:39,878
Once again,
does anybody have any beer?
183
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,638
Anybody?
Any kind of alcohol?
184
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,406
- No?
- Thank you all for your help.
185
00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:45,736
- Yeah. Hey, what the heck?
- Good stuff.
186
00:06:45,950 --> 00:06:46,882
Excuse me, sir.
187
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:49,379
You're not going straight
to the office like I asked you.
188
00:06:49,467 --> 00:06:52,406
- No, this isn't the Ders way.
- I love the Ders way.
189
00:06:52,433 --> 00:06:53,678
Why aren't we going the Ders way?
190
00:06:53,715 --> 00:06:56,096
- The Ders way's a good way.
- Triple-left, center, right.
191
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,905
You guys never told me
you liked my way.
192
00:06:57,929 --> 00:06:59,011
I'm glad that you like it.
193
00:06:59,034 --> 00:07:00,368
It's a good...
Oh, my God! Get down!
194
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,082
- What?
- Get down! It's Alice!
195
00:07:02,562 --> 00:07:03,707
Excuse me, sir!
196
00:07:03,767 --> 00:07:05,377
Listen, we're just
a couple of young bucks
197
00:07:05,389 --> 00:07:07,346
chasing the American dream,
and we made a big mistake.
198
00:07:07,772 --> 00:07:09,035
Behind the line.
199
00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:10,464
Okay, haven't you ever
screwed the pooch?
200
00:07:10,505 --> 00:07:11,590
You ever wanted a do-over?
201
00:07:11,638 --> 00:07:13,672
If so, I'm begging you to
go straight to 24th and Crocker
202
00:07:13,797 --> 00:07:15,568
- without any stops.
- 24th and Crocker?
203
00:07:15,693 --> 00:07:17,436
- Yeah.
- That's 11 stops.
204
00:07:17,602 --> 00:07:19,605
So what?
You're perfect?
205
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:22,859
I'm looking at the goddamn
mom Teresa in front of me?
206
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,510
I've told my boss I wanted
to cover her
207
00:07:24,635 --> 00:07:27,738
in cinnamon toast crunch dust
and then suck her...
208
00:07:27,904 --> 00:07:29,782
I'm warning you,
if you don't sit down,
209
00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:32,493
I will have you removed
from this bus.
210
00:07:32,659 --> 00:07:34,620
I'm okay with that, considering...
211
00:07:34,786 --> 00:07:37,089
There's a bomb on the bus!
212
00:07:37,214 --> 00:07:39,158
If we go below 50 Miles per hour
213
00:07:39,283 --> 00:07:42,003
or don't go directly to Telamericorp,
214
00:07:42,169 --> 00:07:44,505
- we're all going to explode!
- What did you say?
215
00:07:44,671 --> 00:07:48,634
I said, "there's a bomb on this bus!"
216
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,554
- Son, I need to know...
- Oh! Watch out!
217
00:07:54,723 --> 00:07:56,017
Oh! Whoa!
218
00:07:56,183 --> 00:07:58,777
Cans! It was just cans.
219
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,479
It was a Mexi-can.
220
00:08:00,645 --> 00:08:02,690
Oh, oh, man.
221
00:08:02,856 --> 00:08:04,066
Oh, he's fine.
222
00:08:04,232 --> 00:08:06,068
- Oh.
- Hey, he's all good.
223
00:08:06,234 --> 00:08:07,386
Don't move! Don't move!
224
00:08:07,511 --> 00:08:09,447
You were just hit by a bus,
buddy. Suck it up.
225
00:08:09,613 --> 00:08:11,890
Oh, oh, man.
No, I can't do this.
226
00:08:12,015 --> 00:08:13,034
I can't take it.
227
00:08:15,035 --> 00:08:16,229
.06.
228
00:08:16,416 --> 00:08:18,359
I've never been so not drunk
in my life, man.
229
00:08:18,391 --> 00:08:21,036
- I'm about to be hungover, dude!
- No!
230
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,779
We are not giving up! Okay?
231
00:08:22,886 --> 00:08:24,713
We're gonna go in that liquor store,
232
00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:26,705
and I will buy us some booze
233
00:08:26,736 --> 00:08:28,405
to replenish our body with liquor.
234
00:08:28,434 --> 00:08:29,524
- Yeah.
- Cool.
235
00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:31,187
Ders, I might need
to borrow a dollar or two.
236
00:08:31,199 --> 00:08:32,393
- What do you mean?
- I'm not...
237
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,614
- Feeling...
- Oh, he's passing out!
238
00:08:34,638 --> 00:08:36,941
- He's wasted!
- I don't feel good.
239
00:08:36,959 --> 00:08:40,072
- Are you okay?
- S'go... without me.
240
00:08:40,113 --> 00:08:41,251
- Go without you?
- Yes.
241
00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:42,535
- Okay.
- We'll be right back.
242
00:08:42,580 --> 00:08:43,917
Actually, carry me.
243
00:08:43,947 --> 00:08:45,130
It's very dangerous out here.
244
00:08:45,148 --> 00:08:46,823
Yeah. We're so close, we're so close.
245
00:08:46,856 --> 00:08:49,108
All right, thank you, ma'am.
246
00:08:49,163 --> 00:08:51,215
Don't act like you never
passed out in the street
247
00:08:51,255 --> 00:08:52,939
with rollerblades before!
248
00:09:00,302 --> 00:09:01,282
Come on.
249
00:09:01,301 --> 00:09:02,812
Energy drinks and beer! Where?
250
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,711
All over the store.
Everywhere.
251
00:09:04,739 --> 00:09:07,401
- Hurry up, dude.
- Feel good, then not so good.
252
00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:10,041
This rock star needs a monster
can of red bull. Now.
253
00:09:10,077 --> 00:09:13,373
- Oh, God. Oh!
- Just sit down.
254
00:09:13,488 --> 00:09:15,626
You're good.
Let's get this.
255
00:09:15,684 --> 00:09:20,060
- Come on.
- Tap it, and there it is.
256
00:09:20,129 --> 00:09:22,049
Remember that?
It's all natural.
257
00:09:22,127 --> 00:09:24,734
- What do you need?
- Burrito.
258
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,751
- Handle that, okay?
- Burrito? Yes, yes.
259
00:09:26,782 --> 00:09:28,979
A little more of the medicine.
There it is.
260
00:09:29,030 --> 00:09:31,341
The doctor ordered some go juice.
261
00:09:31,466 --> 00:09:33,810
The doctor prescribed some go juice!
262
00:09:33,825 --> 00:09:34,707
There you go.
Drink up.
263
00:09:34,713 --> 00:09:36,023
What a good little baby.
264
00:09:36,419 --> 00:09:39,183
- Burritos.
- Check it out... painkillers.
265
00:09:39,195 --> 00:09:41,448
Let's kill the pain.
Kill the pain in my brain, man.
266
00:09:41,734 --> 00:09:43,111
Jillian, what's the haps
on the craps?
267
00:09:43,344 --> 00:09:45,363
It's all taken care of.
268
00:09:45,529 --> 00:09:46,823
What?
You deleted the voicemails?
269
00:09:46,989 --> 00:09:48,408
Yep. I did a great job.
270
00:09:48,574 --> 00:09:51,561
Who is this?
271
00:09:51,686 --> 00:09:53,371
This is Anders.
272
00:09:53,537 --> 00:09:56,333
Oh, Ders!
No, I have not started yet.
273
00:09:56,499 --> 00:09:58,091
- What?
- I'm starting right now.
274
00:09:58,501 --> 00:09:59,603
I swear.
275
00:09:59,728 --> 00:10:01,437
I just had to send out
this e-vite to my landlord.
276
00:10:01,562 --> 00:10:03,440
And then Montez sent out
this funny video
277
00:10:03,565 --> 00:10:04,974
of just dads sneezing.
278
00:10:05,099 --> 00:10:06,718
It's hysterical.
279
00:10:08,469 --> 00:10:10,305
It's funny, 'cause it's dads.
280
00:10:10,471 --> 00:10:12,382
Jillian, turn it off,
and get to it, okay?
281
00:10:12,507 --> 00:10:14,017
We need you.
282
00:10:14,183 --> 00:10:16,853
- She... what are those?
- They're headache pills.
283
00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:18,547
We're taking 'em just
in case the beer wears off.
284
00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:20,482
- Pretty smart, huh?
- Yeah, but that's P.M.
285
00:10:20,648 --> 00:10:22,442
Yeah, "P.M."
that's "power medicine," man.
286
00:10:22,608 --> 00:10:26,279
You take it to gain more power
in oneself.
287
00:10:26,445 --> 00:10:29,950
Guys, those are sleeping pills.
288
00:10:30,116 --> 00:10:31,768
Whatever, dude.
289
00:10:31,893 --> 00:10:34,037
I'm gonna go nuke this 'rito.
Cheers.
290
00:10:34,262 --> 00:10:35,247
Thanks for saving my life.
291
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:36,665
Ders, check it out!
292
00:10:36,872 --> 00:10:38,542
Yo, Ders.
Ders!
293
00:10:38,708 --> 00:10:41,210
I think I just found our ride
to work.
294
00:10:41,377 --> 00:10:43,379
You think you can handle
those future babes?
295
00:10:43,483 --> 00:10:45,786
Dude, get with it, okay?
They're gonna act all bitchy,
296
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,435
because they know they're gonna
grow up and be hot.
297
00:10:47,487 --> 00:10:48,828
We can't take a run at 'em yet.
298
00:10:48,852 --> 00:10:52,178
All I'm saying is, I wouldn't
mind riding that mongoose.
299
00:10:52,744 --> 00:10:55,180
Come on, dude.
They're like 15, tops.
300
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:58,636
I'm talking about the bike,
you sick freak.
301
00:10:58,660 --> 00:11:00,503
I'm sorry.
You know I'm a Bianchi guy.
302
00:11:00,545 --> 00:11:02,187
Adam, come on! Let's ride!
303
00:11:02,273 --> 00:11:04,276
90 seconds.
304
00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:05,710
Come on.
We need to go now!
305
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,604
No.
I'm starving!
306
00:11:07,610 --> 00:11:09,654
Dude, we're 15 minutes
from losing everything.
307
00:11:09,705 --> 00:11:11,841
I'm gonna buy this burrito, Ders.
308
00:11:12,166 --> 00:11:13,660
And then I'm gonna eat it!
309
00:11:13,688 --> 00:11:16,275
It's just bean and cheese, man.
310
00:11:16,304 --> 00:11:17,698
Still a burrito, man!
311
00:11:17,747 --> 00:11:20,316
I hope you know
what you're doing, man.
312
00:11:20,441 --> 00:11:22,836
Here, come on.
Let's go.
313
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:25,762
Oh, I know
exactly what I'm doing, man.
314
00:11:25,864 --> 00:11:27,766
Hey-hey, young ladies.
315
00:11:27,799 --> 00:11:29,062
How are you guys doing?
316
00:11:29,081 --> 00:11:31,575
- Choco tacos. Nice.
- A choco taco, it's perfect.
317
00:11:31,615 --> 00:11:34,080
It's, like... it's something
that was perfect... a taco...
318
00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:35,559
And then got more perfecter.
319
00:11:35,693 --> 00:11:37,545
So, yes, wise selection.
320
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,534
Whoa, man!
Look at these cool bikes!
321
00:11:40,558 --> 00:11:42,800
What do you say?
Uh, we're all young adults.
322
00:11:42,823 --> 00:11:45,508
Want to let us hop on
for a little ride?
323
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,074
Why don't you guys
go ride each other?
324
00:11:47,235 --> 00:11:51,114
Yeah? And you should fricking
roll up your pant leg.
325
00:11:51,867 --> 00:11:52,749
Why?
326
00:11:52,777 --> 00:11:56,461
Because you can't ride a bike
in jeans.
327
00:11:56,628 --> 00:12:00,490
Yah! Yeah!
328
00:12:00,706 --> 00:12:02,167
Boys rule!
329
00:12:02,383 --> 00:12:05,128
Well, yeah, I don't know, mom.
330
00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:06,552
Well, I'm not a vet.
331
00:12:10,848 --> 00:12:12,367
I'm not calling you
every day, mom, because
332
00:12:12,392 --> 00:12:13,696
I don't want to talk
to you every day
333
00:12:13,727 --> 00:12:15,896
- because you drive him crazy.
- Oh, the dickhead.
334
00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:28,201
Where are they?
335
00:12:28,695 --> 00:12:29,644
Whoa!
336
00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:30,765
- What?
- Uh-oh.
337
00:12:30,828 --> 00:12:32,238
- What?
- Future babes.
338
00:12:32,278 --> 00:12:33,418
They never give up, man.
339
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,720
They remind me a lot of myself
when I was a future babe.
340
00:12:35,745 --> 00:12:37,575
You know, my manager at Togo's
always said,
341
00:12:37,615 --> 00:12:39,259
"you'll never amount to anything."
342
00:12:39,303 --> 00:12:40,913
But look at me now!
343
00:12:41,038 --> 00:12:42,498
Look at me now!
344
00:12:42,664 --> 00:12:43,861
- Hey, Blake.
- What?
345
00:12:43,879 --> 00:12:45,506
No one asked!
346
00:12:45,525 --> 00:12:48,405
Get off me.
Oh, my God. We lose 'em?
347
00:12:48,461 --> 00:12:51,099
I think so.
Clutch driving, Ders.
348
00:12:51,129 --> 00:12:52,323
Whoa!
349
00:12:52,507 --> 00:12:54,193
- Whoa!
- Oh, my God!
350
00:12:54,318 --> 00:12:56,061
That was awesome!
351
00:12:56,186 --> 00:12:58,304
- There's more of them.
- The juice!
352
00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,057
- How'd they find us?
- Ahh...
353
00:13:00,223 --> 00:13:02,701
- Hey, clerk.
- Down here.
354
00:13:02,826 --> 00:13:04,061
What are you doing?
355
00:13:04,227 --> 00:13:06,230
You see that lady over there?
356
00:13:06,396 --> 00:13:10,742
She's a shoplifter.
She's stealing.
357
00:13:10,867 --> 00:13:13,738
Tampons.
She's a tampon thief.
358
00:13:13,904 --> 00:13:16,115
You should interrogate her
for, like, an hour.
359
00:13:16,281 --> 00:13:17,616
Oh, who am I, you might wonder?
360
00:13:17,741 --> 00:13:18,909
I'm a citizen-hero.
361
00:13:19,075 --> 00:13:20,911
Watch this.
362
00:13:21,077 --> 00:13:22,921
Hi, good morning.
Just the coffee please.
363
00:13:23,046 --> 00:13:24,373
Just the coffee?
364
00:13:24,539 --> 00:13:28,002
Why don't you show me your tampons?
365
00:13:28,168 --> 00:13:29,211
I'm sorry?
366
00:13:29,377 --> 00:13:31,213
Open the bag and show me the tampons.
367
00:13:31,379 --> 00:13:33,758
Actually I don't have any, ass,
368
00:13:33,924 --> 00:13:35,342
because I don't get
my period anymore.
369
00:13:35,508 --> 00:13:37,928
Why? Why don't you get
your period anymore?
370
00:13:38,094 --> 00:13:39,597
Uhh...
371
00:13:39,763 --> 00:13:41,440
I cant see!
Your hair!
372
00:13:41,565 --> 00:13:43,309
Eat booze, little baby girls.
373
00:13:43,475 --> 00:13:45,269
All right, I'm gonna turn around!
374
00:13:45,435 --> 00:13:48,022
- What? What do you mean?
- Keep pedaling! Aah!
375
00:13:48,188 --> 00:13:49,356
Whoo!
376
00:13:49,522 --> 00:13:51,283
Hi.
377
00:13:51,408 --> 00:13:54,403
I hope these future babes
brought their tongues.
378
00:13:54,569 --> 00:13:56,322
Why, dude?
379
00:13:56,488 --> 00:13:58,924
Because they're about to taste laser.
380
00:13:58,955 --> 00:14:01,127
Come on, get your mind out
of the gutter, you sick freak.
381
00:14:01,139 --> 00:14:02,427
I don't know.
382
00:14:02,702 --> 00:14:05,919
I got one!
383
00:14:05,956 --> 00:14:07,541
Eat laser, scummies!
384
00:14:07,582 --> 00:14:09,577
Yeah!
385
00:14:09,827 --> 00:14:11,023
Sorry, chica.
386
00:14:11,156 --> 00:14:13,450
Your ass is about to get kick-assed.
387
00:14:14,965 --> 00:14:16,772
- Oh, no!
- What?
388
00:14:16,796 --> 00:14:18,439
She put her little thing down.
389
00:14:18,463 --> 00:14:21,609
Oh, she just flipped me off.
That wasn't nice.
390
00:14:25,183 --> 00:14:26,519
Good morning.
391
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:50,292
Who this?
392
00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:53,462
Ders-ie, guess who's about
to be skitching?
393
00:14:53,628 --> 00:14:58,342
- What?
- Oh! Ow!
394
00:14:58,508 --> 00:15:01,114
- Ow! I slipped a disk.
- Adam? Adam?
395
00:15:01,239 --> 00:15:03,394
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
396
00:15:03,519 --> 00:15:04,640
Are you okay?
397
00:15:04,806 --> 00:15:08,160
Pfft! Yeah.
Just blading on into work.
398
00:15:08,285 --> 00:15:09,695
Going green.
399
00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:11,897
Lot of people without cars,
they blade all the time.
400
00:15:12,063 --> 00:15:15,578
Jason Bateman blades.
Uh, Shaq doesn't own a car.
401
00:15:15,703 --> 00:15:16,986
- He blades a lot.
- Yeah, uh...
402
00:15:17,152 --> 00:15:18,804
Look, why don't you get
in my car, okay?
403
00:15:18,929 --> 00:15:20,906
I'll give you a ride to work.
You don't look so good.
404
00:15:21,072 --> 00:15:23,033
Doubt it.
405
00:15:23,199 --> 00:15:24,493
Hey, give me back my bike!
406
00:15:24,659 --> 00:15:26,620
Hey, suck my di... ass!
407
00:15:26,786 --> 00:15:28,122
- Suck my ass.
- Yeah, he said, "ass"!
408
00:15:28,288 --> 00:15:29,448
Uh-oh, blazer, hold on!
409
00:15:29,573 --> 00:15:31,167
We're about to bunny hop this muh...
410
00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:32,934
Y'all ain't gonna be able to make it!
411
00:15:33,059 --> 00:15:34,336
Oh, Ders, be careful!
412
00:15:34,502 --> 00:15:36,547
I'm sick and tired of being careful!
413
00:15:36,713 --> 00:15:40,349
But... aah!
414
00:15:43,628 --> 00:15:44,891
Fuck you!
415
00:15:44,930 --> 00:15:46,999
My stepdad's gonna find you
and beat your ass!
416
00:15:47,057 --> 00:15:49,268
Jillian, hey, how are
we doing with those codes?
417
00:15:49,434 --> 00:15:51,028
Not good.
I messed up,
418
00:15:51,036 --> 00:15:53,547
and I accidentally deleted
Alice's outgoing message,
419
00:15:53,567 --> 00:15:55,161
and now I have to record a new one.
420
00:15:55,227 --> 00:15:56,804
How does this sound?
421
00:15:57,341 --> 00:15:58,849
Hi, you've reached Alice.
422
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:01,520
I'm Alice, and this is my voice,
423
00:16:01,539 --> 00:16:03,817
and I'm the boss.
Leave a message.
424
00:16:05,052 --> 00:16:08,396
Are you sure you're okay?
'Cause you seem really tired.
425
00:16:08,472 --> 00:16:10,716
Hmm? Aah!
426
00:16:10,747 --> 00:16:12,509
I'm ready for work.
427
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:14,522
I just took a bunch
of power medicine,
428
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:18,361
so I'm... ready for action.
429
00:16:18,392 --> 00:16:19,825
Actually, you know what?
430
00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:21,164
You might want to go this direction
431
00:16:21,191 --> 00:16:23,756
instead of directly that way.
432
00:16:23,828 --> 00:16:25,471
It's a quicker route.
433
00:16:25,515 --> 00:16:27,434
Yeah, that's the complete
opposite direction
434
00:16:27,458 --> 00:16:28,397
of the office.
435
00:16:28,432 --> 00:16:29,953
Yeah, I know, I know that.
436
00:16:29,981 --> 00:16:32,358
It's the scenic.
Do you like beauty?
437
00:16:32,396 --> 00:16:34,730
There's a volcano over there.
438
00:16:34,771 --> 00:16:37,377
It's a new one.
It just sprouted.
439
00:16:37,918 --> 00:16:39,542
In Rancho Cucamonga?
440
00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:41,468
Yeah, I don't know
if you know our new catchphrase,
441
00:16:41,490 --> 00:16:46,637
but it's "Rancho Cucamonga,
let's get prehistoric."
442
00:16:51,413 --> 00:16:53,744
Hello, you've reached Alice.
I'm the boss,
443
00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:56,342
and I'm very angry most of the time.
444
00:16:56,373 --> 00:16:58,284
I can't answer, 'cause I'm the boss.
445
00:16:58,313 --> 00:17:00,423
Did I mention that?
I'm Alice.
446
00:17:01,329 --> 00:17:02,480
How was that, Blake?
447
00:17:02,524 --> 00:17:04,109
Jillian, you're the best.
448
00:17:04,175 --> 00:17:06,167
- Blake!
- Blake! Whoa, dude!
449
00:17:06,204 --> 00:17:07,680
- What, man? I'm here.
- Dude, wake up!
450
00:17:07,701 --> 00:17:09,162
- Come on, man.
- The pills...
451
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:12,116
So I know I was really tough
on you guys yesterday,
452
00:17:12,142 --> 00:17:14,286
and I just wanted
to say how sorry I was.
453
00:17:14,361 --> 00:17:17,030
It's just been kind
of a nightmare of a week.
454
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:20,133
My sister just found out
these test results,
455
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:23,427
and it could be really serious.
456
00:17:24,445 --> 00:17:26,020
Dude, wake up!
457
00:17:26,147 --> 00:17:27,337
I can't see!
458
00:17:27,369 --> 00:17:28,716
Move your hair!
I can't see!
459
00:17:28,741 --> 00:17:30,227
- Move your hair.
- Move your hair!
460
00:17:31,161 --> 00:17:32,971
Oh, [Bleep]!
Blake?
461
00:17:33,096 --> 00:17:35,140
Are you o...
462
00:17:35,415 --> 00:17:36,567
Ders, where are you going?
463
00:17:36,985 --> 00:17:37,867
Where are you go...
464
00:17:37,888 --> 00:17:39,273
Okay, Blake, I'm gonna call someone.
465
00:17:39,302 --> 00:17:41,836
Ders!
Ders, where are you? Okay.
466
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,834
All right, what are we doing?
467
00:17:43,865 --> 00:17:45,475
What are we doing!
468
00:17:45,962 --> 00:17:47,681
- Jillian!
- I'm close.
469
00:17:47,716 --> 00:17:49,504
I've got her birthday,
social security number,
470
00:17:49,529 --> 00:17:50,979
ATM, height, weight,
skull circumference.
471
00:17:51,014 --> 00:17:52,099
- Move!
- What are you doing?
472
00:17:52,115 --> 00:17:53,727
- The only thing I can do.
- Holmvik!
473
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,447
Put it down.
474
00:17:56,277 --> 00:17:58,902
Put it...
I said...!
475
00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:00,112
Zzz!
476
00:18:00,771 --> 00:18:02,188
Hup!
477
00:18:04,915 --> 00:18:05,703
Aah!
478
00:18:12,113 --> 00:18:14,291
So I know all this
might sound weird to you,
479
00:18:14,322 --> 00:18:17,299
but to me it's just OCD, you know.
480
00:18:17,324 --> 00:18:20,913
And I'm not suffering from it,
Alice, I'm living with it.
481
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:22,741
Right.
482
00:18:22,788 --> 00:18:26,625
So your OCD makes you weigh
people's phones?
483
00:18:26,677 --> 00:18:28,428
Yeah.
And that's what I was doing.
484
00:18:28,712 --> 00:18:31,182
Yours is about, uh,
12 fluid ounces, give or take.
485
00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:32,603
That's fascinating.
486
00:18:32,628 --> 00:18:34,844
Hey, why don't you go out
into the parking lot
487
00:18:34,868 --> 00:18:36,328
and take care of your dumbass friends
488
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,650
who are asleep there.
489
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:40,205
- That'd be great, champs, okay?
- Very good. Thank you.
490
00:18:40,229 --> 00:18:42,465
If you catch me weighing
anybody else's,
491
00:18:42,527 --> 00:18:44,911
just give me like a...
We'll figure it out.
492
00:18:44,936 --> 00:18:46,438
Hey, wait!
493
00:18:46,466 --> 00:18:48,392
Were you trying
to listen to my messages?
494
00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:51,396
This is saying I'm locked
out of the system for 24 hours
495
00:18:51,414 --> 00:18:53,796
for entering the wrong password
too many times.
496
00:18:53,827 --> 00:18:56,593
No, I was, uh, weighing your phone.
497
00:18:56,630 --> 00:18:57,944
That was me.
498
00:18:58,009 --> 00:19:01,997
Uh, I was just trying to be
the best assistant I could be.
499
00:19:02,387 --> 00:19:03,919
Jillian, it's your birthday.
500
00:19:03,949 --> 00:19:05,099
Really? Today?
501
00:19:05,123 --> 00:19:07,817
No, my password is your birthday.
502
00:19:07,877 --> 00:19:09,682
Well, color me flattered.
503
00:19:09,706 --> 00:19:13,106
Jillian, you set it up, remember?
504
00:19:13,310 --> 00:19:14,845
Oh, now I do.
505
00:19:15,126 --> 00:19:16,720
But you never changed it.
506
00:19:17,145 --> 00:19:18,652
Could've changed it.
507
00:19:19,406 --> 00:19:20,278
Didn't.
508
00:19:20,302 --> 00:19:22,534
Jillian, I thought telling you
509
00:19:22,567 --> 00:19:25,961
to stay the eff away from it
would be enough,
510
00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:27,429
but apparently it's not.
511
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:30,732
So I'm just gonna tell you,
if you go near my phone again,
512
00:19:30,757 --> 00:19:33,335
you'll be back washing dishes
at Shakey's.
513
00:19:33,553 --> 00:19:36,837
I watched dishes.
514
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:38,977
I didn't wash them.
515
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,221
There should be a warning
right on the label.
516
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:42,728
"It's not power medicine.
517
00:19:42,757 --> 00:19:44,945
You're not gonna gain strength.
You're gonna go to sleep."
518
00:19:45,209 --> 00:19:47,016
- It's P.M.
- Who woulda thunk.
519
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:50,227
Dude, how hard did Alice snap
on us today?
520
00:19:50,465 --> 00:19:51,384
Crazy, right?
521
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:53,509
- Somebody needs to get twirked.
- Yeah.
522
00:19:53,553 --> 00:19:55,159
I'm not gonna be the one
twirking her,
523
00:19:55,178 --> 00:19:57,436
if she treats me like that,
and I'm a good twirker.
524
00:19:57,454 --> 00:19:59,079
- We know. We hear you.
- You're a great twirker.
525
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:01,831
She doesn't even deserve
one ounce of your twirk.
526
00:20:01,843 --> 00:20:04,460
You got to move your hips
like a figure eight. Damn.
527
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:05,420
Yep, there it is.
528
00:20:05,444 --> 00:20:08,013
She's a freaking trick-ass b-yotch.
529
00:20:08,038 --> 00:20:09,230
She is, yeah.
530
00:20:09,272 --> 00:20:10,921
And I almost feel like
calling her up again
531
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,306
and giving her a piece of my mind.
532
00:20:13,363 --> 00:20:14,519
Been there, huh?
533
00:20:14,549 --> 00:20:16,345
I thought of the best one today.
534
00:20:16,373 --> 00:20:18,378
I was like...
You know how you're always like,
535
00:20:18,409 --> 00:20:20,019
"oh, man, I wish
I could have said that,"
536
00:20:20,068 --> 00:20:21,415
after some stuff just happened?
537
00:20:21,434 --> 00:20:22,743
- Always.
- That's what happened.
538
00:20:22,771 --> 00:20:24,090
- What was it?
- Do it.
539
00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:25,835
No, I don't think I...
540
00:20:25,863 --> 00:20:28,101
You got to, man, if it's that good.
541
00:20:28,126 --> 00:20:29,729
It's ringing, it's ringing.
542
00:20:29,765 --> 00:20:31,517
- Shhh, shhh, shhh.
- I can't wait to hear it.
543
00:20:31,995 --> 00:20:33,801
Hello? Alice?
544
00:20:33,970 --> 00:20:36,748
Uh, this is, uh, not Adam.
545
00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:39,414
You are a.
546
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,173
- You're a.
- You're a dumb.
547
00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:44,111
- You thought of that today?
- Yeah, earlier.
548
00:20:44,390 --> 00:20:50,312
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