1
00:00:01,275 --> 00:00:04,489
God, Alice was being
such a dickhead today, huh?
2
00:00:04,528 --> 00:00:06,625
You give out
laser-pointer key chains,
3
00:00:06,693 --> 00:00:09,372
and you expect us to be adult
enough not to play with them?
4
00:00:09,397 --> 00:00:10,572
I mean, are you thick?
5
00:00:10,596 --> 00:00:12,374
You were just pointing 'em
at people's crotches.
6
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:14,688
That's what they're there for.
That's fun.
7
00:00:14,712 --> 00:00:15,938
Dude, if she was here right now,
8
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:17,176
I've drank enough, to the point
9
00:00:17,207 --> 00:00:18,813
where I would go right to her face,
10
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,129
and I would say,
11
00:00:20,205 --> 00:00:22,083
"you're dumb and no one loves you."
12
00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:23,038
I'd say that to her.
13
00:00:23,052 --> 00:00:24,140
That was really good.
14
00:00:24,167 --> 00:00:25,577
You should tell that to her face.
15
00:00:25,631 --> 00:00:27,396
- Yeah, I totally would.
- Through her ear hole,
16
00:00:27,408 --> 00:00:28,559
which is in her face,
17
00:00:28,589 --> 00:00:30,033
'cause I just called her work phone.
18
00:00:30,055 --> 00:00:31,005
- What?
- Did you?
19
00:00:31,024 --> 00:00:32,628
- I did.
- It's her voicemail.
20
00:00:32,681 --> 00:00:33,850
Leave a voicemail.
21
00:00:34,016 --> 00:00:37,395
Hey, Alice, this is Blake.
22
00:00:37,561 --> 00:00:42,492
And I just thought
that maybe you should...
23
00:00:42,774 --> 00:00:43,993
Stick a fork up your butt
and eat poo,
24
00:00:44,118 --> 00:00:45,362
because you're a dickhead.
25
00:00:45,652 --> 00:00:47,764
Oh, my God.
26
00:00:48,030 --> 00:00:50,233
It's so sad how much you love me
27
00:00:50,358 --> 00:00:53,703
and you look at me from a distance
28
00:00:53,869 --> 00:00:56,735
and you get all
♪ juicy
29
00:00:57,537 --> 00:00:58,782
in your pants.
30
00:00:58,832 --> 00:01:00,985
You might be the boss,
but you, ma'am,
31
00:01:01,022 --> 00:01:02,873
- are no leader.
- Yeah!
32
00:01:02,919 --> 00:01:05,333
And one time I heard you queef.
Slam!
33
00:01:06,923 --> 00:01:09,088
Get amped on Demamp!
34
00:01:09,213 --> 00:01:11,545
Cornhuskers rule!
35
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:12,563
Tits are rad!
36
00:01:12,582 --> 00:01:14,503
Not yours though.
I bet they're c-caved.
37
00:01:14,598 --> 00:01:16,151
You don't know how to delegate.
38
00:01:16,187 --> 00:01:17,655
You don't know how to motivate.
39
00:01:17,684 --> 00:01:19,203
And you sure as hell can't encourage
40
00:01:19,221 --> 00:01:20,164
any kind of innovation.
41
00:01:20,185 --> 00:01:22,277
Let the boys be boys.
Slam!
42
00:01:26,193 --> 00:01:27,918
- Go shave your muff!
- Suck it.
43
00:01:27,947 --> 00:01:29,992
Bitch, you got
too many teeth in your mouth.
44
00:01:32,449 --> 00:01:35,212
Yo, you look like you smoke,
and I know that you don't.
45
00:01:35,236 --> 00:01:38,293
So that hits even closer to home.
46
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,315
I hate you.
I hate you.
47
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:40,583
- Yep, yep.
- I hate you.
48
00:01:40,708 --> 00:01:41,918
I hate you!
49
00:01:42,084 --> 00:01:43,720
I hate you!
I hate you!
50
00:01:43,845 --> 00:01:45,054
I hate you!
51
00:01:45,179 --> 00:01:47,757
I hate you!
52
00:01:47,882 --> 00:01:49,634
- I hate her.
- Yeah.
53
00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:00,563
Oh, no.
54
00:02:00,602 --> 00:02:02,359
Dude.
Dude, the voicemails!
55
00:02:02,384 --> 00:02:03,585
- Wake up Demamp!
- Hmm?
56
00:02:03,628 --> 00:02:04,546
Where's Blake?
57
00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:06,925
- What?
- Blake!
58
00:02:06,998 --> 00:02:08,324
Yo.
59
00:02:11,684 --> 00:02:13,226
How did you...
60
00:02:13,577 --> 00:02:14,534
I don't know.
61
00:02:22,332 --> 00:02:25,926
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for DEMAND by antibio
62
00:02:27,874 --> 00:02:29,262
Blake, let's go.
63
00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:31,192
Alice gets to the office
five minutes early every day,
64
00:02:31,355 --> 00:02:33,274
which gives us 29 minutes
to beat her there
65
00:02:33,292 --> 00:02:34,374
and delete those messages.
66
00:02:34,412 --> 00:02:36,002
That's weird.
I don't even feel hungover.
67
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,650
I drank, like, 17 beers,
68
00:02:37,683 --> 00:02:39,201
and I feel way better
than I normal do.
69
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:40,661
Yeah, you know,
maybe as you get older
70
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:41,912
you get better at hangovers.
71
00:02:42,366 --> 00:02:43,910
That has to be a fact.
72
00:02:44,013 --> 00:02:45,159
Whoa!
73
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,477
- Jesus.
- What the...
74
00:02:47,837 --> 00:02:50,674
Guys, we're still drunk.
75
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,760
We got to take the bus.
Let's go!
76
00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,883
- Yep, I'll meet you guys there.
- Wait, where are you going?
77
00:02:54,905 --> 00:02:56,882
- Inside. We need beers.
- Wait, no!
78
00:02:56,894 --> 00:02:58,561
Beers is what
got us in this situation.
79
00:02:58,588 --> 00:02:59,913
Yeah, and it's
what's gonna get us out.
80
00:02:59,939 --> 00:03:02,182
We're drunk right now,
and we feel great, right?
81
00:03:02,407 --> 00:03:04,418
If this hangover kicks in...
82
00:03:04,968 --> 00:03:07,513
- We're screwed.
- He's right, we have no choice.
83
00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:09,501
We have to stay drunk
till we get to the office.
84
00:03:09,566 --> 00:03:10,573
Oh, and I'll get
85
00:03:10,585 --> 00:03:12,348
my sharper image breathalyzer
key chain from the car.
86
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,192
That way, we can monitor
our blood alcohol level, guys.
87
00:03:14,253 --> 00:03:15,446
Yeah! Blood alcohol level!
88
00:03:15,493 --> 00:03:16,965
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, Adam!
89
00:03:16,993 --> 00:03:19,505
Let me get tecates
and a couple of limes, okay?
90
00:03:19,557 --> 00:03:22,010
- You got it.
- Oh, and Adam?
91
00:03:22,766 --> 00:03:24,650
Thank you for being a true Braj.
92
00:03:24,691 --> 00:03:26,302
You're welcome, Braj.
93
00:03:26,746 --> 00:03:28,852
- Stay up.
- I will.
94
00:03:28,927 --> 00:03:30,330
Always.
95
00:03:30,373 --> 00:03:31,766
- Come on, let's go.
- Always, man.
96
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,151
True soldiers, for real.
97
00:03:33,184 --> 00:03:34,457
- Dude!
- You're my best friend!
98
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,421
- You're my best friend, dude!
- Come on!
99
00:03:36,475 --> 00:03:37,794
I love that guy, man!
100
00:03:37,870 --> 00:03:39,847
- Damn, I forgot a belt!
- Shhh.
101
00:03:39,881 --> 00:03:42,145
Yo-ba sayo.
102
00:03:42,161 --> 00:03:43,570
Jillian, it's Anders.
Listen to me.
103
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,609
I need you
to go into Alice's voicemail
104
00:03:45,628 --> 00:03:47,471
and delete all her messages
before she gets in today.
105
00:03:47,501 --> 00:03:48,991
Oh, I would happily do that,
106
00:03:49,016 --> 00:03:50,409
but it's password-protected.
107
00:03:50,437 --> 00:03:51,617
What? You're her assistant.
108
00:03:51,642 --> 00:03:52,955
You don't access to her voicemails?
109
00:03:53,012 --> 00:03:55,625
Her mom kept leaving
these mean messages
110
00:03:55,656 --> 00:03:57,438
about how Alice was a bad daughter,
111
00:03:57,483 --> 00:03:59,746
so I couldn't take it,
and I finally just called her
112
00:03:59,764 --> 00:04:00,931
and I said, "look, lady,
113
00:04:00,971 --> 00:04:03,391
shut your mouth
and find a hobby."
114
00:04:06,004 --> 00:04:08,581
♪ And I've had it up to here
115
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:11,118
♪ with the static in the ocean
116
00:04:11,243 --> 00:04:13,921
♪ sweet and salty in the sky
117
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:15,479
♪ it's a level of devotion...
118
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:18,634
Ders, I'm fading!
Breathalyze me!
119
00:04:18,731 --> 00:04:20,000
- She's a grown adult...
- Here it is.
120
00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:20,955
That looks like a baby.
121
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:31,355
♪ On a skateboard,
tattooing up your mind ♪
122
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:36,443
Coming through! Hustle.
Whoo!
123
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,717
Jillian, I just need you
to figure out this password,
124
00:04:42,842 --> 00:04:44,185
get in there
and delete those voicemails.
125
00:04:44,310 --> 00:04:46,553
- Tell me you can do that.
- I'd say yeah...
126
00:04:46,678 --> 00:04:49,957
Considering I know Alice Murray
better than she knows herself.
127
00:04:50,216 --> 00:04:52,334
It's Alice Murphy, actually.
128
00:04:52,731 --> 00:04:55,151
Damn it!
I just blew a .09.
129
00:04:55,278 --> 00:04:57,922
Where is Adam with those beers?
Man, I can't get a hangover.
130
00:04:57,941 --> 00:04:59,441
You know how I am
when I have a hangover.
131
00:04:59,584 --> 00:05:01,269
I'm bitchy. I'm very bitchy.
132
00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:03,826
.10. We are dangerously close
to being hungover.
133
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,264
Oh, I feel a headache.
134
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,032
Feel a headache.
135
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,421
- Oh, here we go.
- Where are the beers?
136
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:12,271
They're all gone, man.
They're all gone, man!
137
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,350
- ♪ Living that blade life
- What are you talking about?
138
00:05:14,393 --> 00:05:15,756
I just saw you drink one right now.
139
00:05:15,794 --> 00:05:17,397
Yeah, the last one, Ders.
140
00:05:17,476 --> 00:05:18,896
Think, speak.
141
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,238
Okay, well, I know we had more
than one beer in the house.
142
00:05:21,272 --> 00:05:22,629
- No, we had four.
- Uh-huh.
143
00:05:22,682 --> 00:05:23,789
But there's three of us.
144
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,626
And 1 1/2 beers each...
145
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,403
That's not enough
to get us kablamo-ed.
146
00:05:27,417 --> 00:05:28,660
But for one person,
147
00:05:28,785 --> 00:05:31,186
that might be enough
to take us to the level.
148
00:05:31,214 --> 00:05:33,675
Let me hit this,
'cause I'm feeling ripe.
149
00:05:35,194 --> 00:05:38,406
Whoa. I'm level...
That's a .25.
150
00:05:38,424 --> 00:05:40,251
- Holy...
- I'm leveled!
151
00:05:40,287 --> 00:05:42,513
- Here we go, here we go.
- Hey, right here!
152
00:05:42,525 --> 00:05:44,159
- Come on.
- Whoa, front of the line.
153
00:05:44,190 --> 00:05:46,034
Excuse me, folks.
We got an emergency, here.
154
00:05:46,058 --> 00:05:47,603
Come on, come on.
155
00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,842
Hey, okay,
would you just be a bus angel
156
00:05:49,861 --> 00:05:51,610
and drive us right to Telamericorp,
157
00:05:51,634 --> 00:05:53,777
no stops or anything?
We've got a work emergency.
158
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,679
You got some brats on the bus?
159
00:05:55,710 --> 00:05:57,353
Or a churro?
I'm starving right now.
160
00:05:57,381 --> 00:06:00,120
Guys, we're not going anywhere
till everyone's on the bus.
161
00:06:00,158 --> 00:06:02,767
So sit down.
162
00:06:03,158 --> 00:06:05,327
Let's go!
Come on!
163
00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:07,367
Time to go.
164
00:06:07,420 --> 00:06:08,881
Just follow this laser pointer.
165
00:06:08,904 --> 00:06:10,468
We got some open seats
right in the back,
166
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,064
right down there,
if you want to see that.
167
00:06:12,092 --> 00:06:13,876
Adam, help this guy out
with his money, please.
168
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,909
- You got money in here?
- Help him out.
169
00:06:16,034 --> 00:06:18,118
What are you doing?
Stop it.
170
00:06:18,149 --> 00:06:19,962
Handkerchief. Gross.
171
00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:21,456
Sir, you're never
gonna catch any fish
172
00:06:21,487 --> 00:06:22,824
if you take this long, come on.
173
00:06:22,874 --> 00:06:24,840
Tuck the pole.
Watch your eyes, everybody.
174
00:06:24,873 --> 00:06:26,871
- What are you doing?
- I'm skitching.
175
00:06:26,902 --> 00:06:28,552
No, you are not skitching.
Let's go.
176
00:06:28,582 --> 00:06:30,602
Adam, we will next time,
I promise. Come on.
177
00:06:32,239 --> 00:06:34,514
- We did it again.
- We did it!
178
00:06:34,552 --> 00:06:35,975
And I thought
we weren't gonna make it.
179
00:06:36,016 --> 00:06:37,034
We'll be fine now.
180
00:06:37,066 --> 00:06:38,878
Once again,
does anybody have any beer?
181
00:06:38,921 --> 00:06:40,638
Anybody?
Any kind of alcohol?
182
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,406
- No?
- Thank you all for your help.
183
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:44,736
- Yeah. Hey, what the heck?
- Good stuff.
184
00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:45,882
Excuse me, sir.
185
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:48,379
You're not going straight
to the office like I asked you.
186
00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:51,406
- No, this isn't the Ders way.
- I love the Ders way.
187
00:06:51,433 --> 00:06:52,678
Why aren't we going the Ders way?
188
00:06:52,715 --> 00:06:55,096
- The Ders way's a good way.
- Triple-left, center, right.
189
00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:56,905
You guys never told me
you liked my way.
190
00:06:56,929 --> 00:06:58,011
I'm glad that you like it.
191
00:06:58,034 --> 00:06:59,368
It's a good...
Oh, my God! Get down!
192
00:06:59,387 --> 00:07:01,082
- What?
- Get down! It's Alice!
193
00:07:01,562 --> 00:07:02,707
Excuse me, sir!
194
00:07:02,767 --> 00:07:04,377
Listen, we're just
a couple of young bucks
195
00:07:04,389 --> 00:07:06,346
chasing the American dream,
and we made a big mistake.
196
00:07:06,772 --> 00:07:08,035
Behind the line.
197
00:07:08,070 --> 00:07:09,464
Okay, haven't you ever
screwed the pooch?
198
00:07:09,505 --> 00:07:10,590
You ever wanted a do-over?
199
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,672
If so, I'm begging you to
go straight to 24th and Crocker
200
00:07:12,797 --> 00:07:14,568
- without any stops.
- 24th and Crocker?
201
00:07:14,693 --> 00:07:16,436
- Yeah.
- That's 11 stops.
202
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,605
So what?
You're perfect?
203
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:21,859
I'm looking at the goddamn
mom Teresa in front of me?
204
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,510
I've told my boss I wanted
to cover her
205
00:07:23,635 --> 00:07:26,738
in cinnamon toast crunch dust
and then suck her...
206
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,782
I'm warning you,
if you don't sit down,
207
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,493
I will have you removed
from this bus.
208
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,620
I'm okay with that, considering...
209
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:36,089
There's a bomb on the bus!
210
00:07:36,214 --> 00:07:38,158
If we go below 50 Miles per hour
211
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:41,003
or don't go directly to Telamericorp,
212
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,505
- we're all going to explode!
- What did you say?
213
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:47,634
I said, "there's a bomb on this bus!"
214
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,554
- Son, I need to know...
- Oh! Watch out!
215
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,017
Oh! Whoa!
216
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,777
Cans! It was just cans.
217
00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,479
It was a Mexi-can.
218
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,690
Oh, oh, man.
219
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,066
Oh, he's fine.
220
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:05,068
- Oh.
- Hey, he's all good.
221
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,386
Don't move! Don't move!
222
00:08:06,511 --> 00:08:08,447
You were just hit by a bus,
buddy. Suck it up.
223
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,890
Oh, oh, man.
No, I can't do this.
224
00:08:11,015 --> 00:08:12,034
I can't take it.
225
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,229
.06.
226
00:08:15,416 --> 00:08:17,359
I've never been so not drunk
in my life, man.
227
00:08:17,391 --> 00:08:20,036
- I'm about to be hungover, dude!
- No!
228
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,779
We are not giving up! Okay?
229
00:08:21,886 --> 00:08:23,713
We're gonna go in that liquor store,
230
00:08:23,730 --> 00:08:25,705
and I will buy us some booze
231
00:08:25,736 --> 00:08:27,405
to replenish our body with liquor.
232
00:08:27,434 --> 00:08:28,524
- Yeah.
- Cool.
233
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:30,187
Ders, I might need
to borrow a dollar or two.
234
00:08:30,199 --> 00:08:31,393
- What do you mean?
- I'm not...
235
00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:33,614
- Feeling...
- Oh, he's passing out!
236
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,941
- He's wasted!
- I don't feel good.
237
00:08:35,959 --> 00:08:39,072
- Are you okay?
- S'go... without me.
238
00:08:39,113 --> 00:08:40,251
- Go without you?
- Yes.
239
00:08:40,278 --> 00:08:41,535
- Okay.
- We'll be right back.
240
00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:42,917
Actually, carry me.
241
00:08:42,947 --> 00:08:44,130
It's very dangerous out here.
242
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,823
Yeah. We're so close, we're so close.
243
00:08:45,856 --> 00:08:48,108
All right, thank you, ma'am.
244
00:08:48,163 --> 00:08:50,215
Don't act like you never
passed out in the street
245
00:08:50,255 --> 00:08:51,939
with rollerblades before!
246
00:08:59,302 --> 00:09:00,282
Come on.
247
00:09:00,301 --> 00:09:01,812
Energy drinks and beer! Where?
248
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:03,711
All over the store.
Everywhere.
249
00:09:03,739 --> 00:09:06,401
- Hurry up, dude.
- Feel good, then not so good.
250
00:09:06,427 --> 00:09:09,041
This rock star needs a monster
can of red bull. Now.
251
00:09:09,077 --> 00:09:12,373
- Oh, God. Oh!
- Just sit down.
252
00:09:12,488 --> 00:09:14,626
You're good.
Let's get this.
253
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:19,060
- Come on.
- Tap it, and there it is.
254
00:09:19,129 --> 00:09:21,049
Remember that?
It's all natural.
255
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,734
- What do you need?
- Burrito.
256
00:09:23,781 --> 00:09:25,751
- Handle that, okay?
- Burrito? Yes, yes.
257
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:27,979
A little more of the medicine.
There it is.
258
00:09:28,030 --> 00:09:30,341
The doctor ordered some go juice.
259
00:09:30,466 --> 00:09:32,810
The doctor prescribed some go juice!
260
00:09:32,825 --> 00:09:33,707
There you go.
Drink up.
261
00:09:33,713 --> 00:09:35,023
What a good little baby.
262
00:09:35,419 --> 00:09:38,183
- Burritos.
- Check it out... painkillers.
263
00:09:38,195 --> 00:09:40,448
Let's kill the pain.
Kill the pain in my brain, man.
264
00:09:40,734 --> 00:09:42,111
Jillian, what's the haps
on the craps?
265
00:09:42,344 --> 00:09:44,363
It's all taken care of.
266
00:09:44,529 --> 00:09:45,823
What?
You deleted the voicemails?
267
00:09:45,989 --> 00:09:47,408
Yep. I did a great job.
268
00:09:47,574 --> 00:09:50,561
Who is this?
269
00:09:50,686 --> 00:09:52,371
This is Anders.
270
00:09:52,537 --> 00:09:55,333
Oh, Ders!
No, I have not started yet.
271
00:09:55,499 --> 00:09:57,091
- What?
- I'm starting right now.
272
00:09:57,501 --> 00:09:58,603
I swear.
273
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,437
I just had to send out
this e-vite to my landlord.
274
00:10:00,562 --> 00:10:02,440
And then Montez sent out
this funny video
275
00:10:02,565 --> 00:10:03,974
of just dads sneezing.
276
00:10:04,099 --> 00:10:05,718
It's hysterical.
277
00:10:07,469 --> 00:10:09,305
It's funny, 'cause it's dads.
278
00:10:09,471 --> 00:10:11,382
Jillian, turn it off,
and get to it, okay?
279
00:10:11,507 --> 00:10:13,017
We need you.
280
00:10:13,183 --> 00:10:15,853
- She... what are those?
- They're headache pills.
281
00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:17,547
We're taking 'em just
in case the beer wears off.
282
00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:19,482
- Pretty smart, huh?
- Yeah, but that's P.M.
283
00:10:19,648 --> 00:10:21,442
Yeah, "P.M."
that's "power medicine," man.
284
00:10:21,608 --> 00:10:25,279
You take it to gain more power
in oneself.
285
00:10:25,445 --> 00:10:28,950
Guys, those are sleeping pills.
286
00:10:29,116 --> 00:10:30,768
Whatever, dude.
287
00:10:30,893 --> 00:10:33,037
I'm gonna go nuke this 'rito.
Cheers.
288
00:10:33,262 --> 00:10:34,247
Thanks for saving my life.
289
00:10:34,413 --> 00:10:35,665
Ders, check it out!
290
00:10:35,872 --> 00:10:37,542
Yo, Ders.
Ders!
291
00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:40,210
I think I just found our ride
to work.
292
00:10:40,377 --> 00:10:42,379
You think you can handle
those future babes?
293
00:10:42,483 --> 00:10:44,786
Dude, get with it, okay?
They're gonna act all bitchy,
294
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,435
because they know they're gonna
grow up and be hot.
295
00:10:46,487 --> 00:10:47,828
We can't take a run at 'em yet.
296
00:10:47,852 --> 00:10:51,178
All I'm saying is, I wouldn't
mind riding that mongoose.
297
00:10:51,744 --> 00:10:54,180
Come on, dude.
They're like 15, tops.
298
00:10:54,222 --> 00:10:57,636
I'm talking about the bike,
you sick freak.
299
00:10:57,660 --> 00:10:59,503
I'm sorry.
You know I'm a Bianchi guy.
300
00:10:59,545 --> 00:11:01,187
Adam, come on! Let's ride!
301
00:11:01,273 --> 00:11:03,276
90 seconds.
302
00:11:03,291 --> 00:11:04,710
Come on.
We need to go now!
303
00:11:04,752 --> 00:11:06,604
No.
I'm starving!
304
00:11:06,610 --> 00:11:08,654
Dude, we're 15 minutes
from losing everything.
305
00:11:08,705 --> 00:11:10,841
I'm gonna buy this burrito, Ders.
306
00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:12,660
And then I'm gonna eat it!
307
00:11:12,688 --> 00:11:15,275
It's just bean and cheese, man.
308
00:11:15,304 --> 00:11:16,698
Still a burrito, man!
309
00:11:16,747 --> 00:11:19,316
I hope you know
what you're doing, man.
310
00:11:19,441 --> 00:11:21,836
Here, come on.
Let's go.
311
00:11:21,883 --> 00:11:24,762
Oh, I know
exactly what I'm doing, man.
312
00:11:24,864 --> 00:11:26,766
Hey-hey, young ladies.
313
00:11:26,799 --> 00:11:28,062
How are you guys doing?
314
00:11:28,081 --> 00:11:30,575
- Choco tacos. Nice.
- A choco taco, it's perfect.
315
00:11:30,615 --> 00:11:33,080
It's, like... it's something
that was perfect... a taco...
316
00:11:33,111 --> 00:11:34,559
And then got more perfecter.
317
00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:36,545
So, yes, wise selection.
318
00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:39,534
Whoa, man!
Look at these cool bikes!
319
00:11:39,558 --> 00:11:41,800
What do you say?
Uh, we're all young adults.
320
00:11:41,823 --> 00:11:44,508
Want to let us hop on
for a little ride?
321
00:11:44,530 --> 00:11:46,074
Why don't you guys
go ride each other?
322
00:11:46,235 --> 00:11:50,114
Yeah? And you should fricking
roll up your pant leg.
323
00:11:50,867 --> 00:11:51,749
Why?
324
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:55,461
Because you can't ride a bike
in jeans.
325
00:11:55,628 --> 00:11:59,490
Yah! Yeah!
326
00:11:59,706 --> 00:12:01,167
Boys rule!
327
00:12:01,383 --> 00:12:04,128
Well, yeah, I don't know, mom.
328
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,552
Well, I'm not a vet.
329
00:12:09,848 --> 00:12:11,367
I'm not calling you
every day, mom, because
330
00:12:11,392 --> 00:12:12,696
I don't want to talk
to you every day
331
00:12:12,727 --> 00:12:14,896
- because you drive him crazy.
- Oh, the dickhead.
332
00:12:25,857 --> 00:12:27,201
Where are they?
333
00:12:27,695 --> 00:12:28,644
Whoa!
334
00:12:28,690 --> 00:12:29,765
- What?
- Uh-oh.
335
00:12:29,828 --> 00:12:31,238
- What?
- Future babes.
336
00:12:31,278 --> 00:12:32,418
They never give up, man.
337
00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:34,720
They remind me a lot of myself
when I was a future babe.
338
00:12:34,745 --> 00:12:36,575
You know, my manager at Togo's
always said,
339
00:12:36,615 --> 00:12:38,259
"you'll never amount to anything."
340
00:12:38,303 --> 00:12:39,913
But look at me now!
341
00:12:40,038 --> 00:12:41,498
Look at me now!
342
00:12:41,664 --> 00:12:42,861
- Hey, Blake.
- What?
343
00:12:42,879 --> 00:12:44,506
No one asked!
344
00:12:44,525 --> 00:12:47,405
Get off me.
Oh, my God. We lose 'em?
345
00:12:47,461 --> 00:12:50,099
I think so.
Clutch driving, Ders.
346
00:12:50,129 --> 00:12:51,323
Whoa!
347
00:12:51,507 --> 00:12:53,193
- Whoa!
- Oh, my God!
348
00:12:53,318 --> 00:12:55,061
That was awesome!
349
00:12:55,186 --> 00:12:57,304
- There's more of them.
- The juice!
350
00:12:57,429 --> 00:12:59,057
- How'd they find us?
- Ahh...
351
00:12:59,223 --> 00:13:01,701
- Hey, clerk.
- Down here.
352
00:13:01,826 --> 00:13:03,061
What are you doing?
353
00:13:03,227 --> 00:13:05,230
You see that lady over there?
354
00:13:05,396 --> 00:13:09,742
She's a shoplifter.
She's stealing.
355
00:13:09,867 --> 00:13:12,738
Tampons.
She's a tampon thief.
356
00:13:12,904 --> 00:13:15,115
You should interrogate her
for, like, an hour.
357
00:13:15,281 --> 00:13:16,616
Oh, who am I, you might wonder?
358
00:13:16,741 --> 00:13:17,909
I'm a citizen-hero.
359
00:13:18,075 --> 00:13:19,911
Watch this.
360
00:13:20,077 --> 00:13:21,921
Hi, good morning.
Just the coffee please.
361
00:13:22,046 --> 00:13:23,373
Just the coffee?
362
00:13:23,539 --> 00:13:27,002
Why don't you show me your tampons?
363
00:13:27,168 --> 00:13:28,211
I'm sorry?
364
00:13:28,377 --> 00:13:30,213
Open the bag and show me the tampons.
365
00:13:30,379 --> 00:13:32,758
Actually I don't have any, ass,
366
00:13:32,924 --> 00:13:34,342
because I don't get
my period anymore.
367
00:13:34,508 --> 00:13:36,928
Why? Why don't you get
your period anymore?
368
00:13:37,094 --> 00:13:38,597
Uhh...
369
00:13:38,763 --> 00:13:40,440
I cant see!
Your hair!
370
00:13:40,565 --> 00:13:42,309
Eat booze, little baby girls.
371
00:13:42,475 --> 00:13:44,269
All right, I'm gonna turn around!
372
00:13:44,435 --> 00:13:47,022
- What? What do you mean?
- Keep pedaling! Aah!
373
00:13:47,188 --> 00:13:48,356
Whoo!
374
00:13:48,522 --> 00:13:50,283
Hi.
375
00:13:50,408 --> 00:13:53,403
I hope these future babes
brought their tongues.
376
00:13:53,569 --> 00:13:55,322
Why, dude?
377
00:13:55,488 --> 00:13:57,924
Because they're about to taste laser.
378
00:13:57,955 --> 00:14:00,127
Come on, get your mind out
of the gutter, you sick freak.
379
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,427
I don't know.
380
00:14:01,702 --> 00:14:04,919
I got one!
381
00:14:04,956 --> 00:14:06,541
Eat laser, scummies!
382
00:14:06,582 --> 00:14:08,577
Yeah!
383
00:14:08,827 --> 00:14:10,023
Sorry, chica.
384
00:14:10,156 --> 00:14:12,450
Your ass is about to get kick-assed.
385
00:14:13,965 --> 00:14:15,772
- Oh, no!
- What?
386
00:14:15,796 --> 00:14:17,439
She put her little thing down.
387
00:14:17,463 --> 00:14:20,609
Oh, she just flipped me off.
That wasn't nice.
388
00:14:24,183 --> 00:14:25,519
Good morning.
389
00:14:47,540 --> 00:14:49,292
Who this?
390
00:14:49,458 --> 00:14:52,462
Ders-ie, guess who's about
to be skitching?
391
00:14:52,628 --> 00:14:57,342
- What?
- Oh! Ow!
392
00:14:57,508 --> 00:15:00,114
- Ow! I slipped a disk.
- Adam? Adam?
393
00:15:00,239 --> 00:15:02,394
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
394
00:15:02,519 --> 00:15:03,640
Are you okay?
395
00:15:03,806 --> 00:15:07,160
Pfft! Yeah.
Just blading on into work.
396
00:15:07,285 --> 00:15:08,695
Going green.
397
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,897
Lot of people without cars,
they blade all the time.
398
00:15:11,063 --> 00:15:14,578
Jason Bateman blades.
Uh, Shaq doesn't own a car.
399
00:15:14,703 --> 00:15:15,986
- He blades a lot.
- Yeah, uh...
400
00:15:16,152 --> 00:15:17,804
Look, why don't you get
in my car, okay?
401
00:15:17,929 --> 00:15:19,906
I'll give you a ride to work.
You don't look so good.
402
00:15:20,072 --> 00:15:22,033
Doubt it.
403
00:15:22,199 --> 00:15:23,493
Hey, give me back my bike!
404
00:15:23,659 --> 00:15:25,620
Hey, suck my di... ass!
405
00:15:25,786 --> 00:15:27,122
- Suck my ass.
- Yeah, he said, "ass"!
406
00:15:27,288 --> 00:15:28,448
Uh-oh, blazer, hold on!
407
00:15:28,573 --> 00:15:30,167
We're about to bunny hop this muh...
408
00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:31,934
Y'all ain't gonna be able to make it!
409
00:15:32,059 --> 00:15:33,336
Oh, Ders, be careful!
410
00:15:33,502 --> 00:15:35,547
I'm sick and tired of being careful!
411
00:15:35,713 --> 00:15:39,349
But... aah!
412
00:15:42,628 --> 00:15:43,891
Fuck you!
413
00:15:43,930 --> 00:15:45,999
My stepdad's gonna find you
and beat your ass!
414
00:15:46,057 --> 00:15:48,268
Jillian, hey, how are
we doing with those codes?
415
00:15:48,434 --> 00:15:50,028
Not good.
I messed up,
416
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,547
and I accidentally deleted
Alice's outgoing message,
417
00:15:52,567 --> 00:15:54,161
and now I have to record a new one.
418
00:15:54,227 --> 00:15:55,804
How does this sound?
419
00:15:56,341 --> 00:15:57,849
Hi, you've reached Alice.
420
00:15:57,870 --> 00:16:00,520
I'm Alice, and this is my voice,
421
00:16:00,539 --> 00:16:02,817
and I'm the boss.
Leave a message.
422
00:16:04,052 --> 00:16:07,396
Are you sure you're okay?
'Cause you seem really tired.
423
00:16:07,472 --> 00:16:09,716
Hmm? Aah!
424
00:16:09,747 --> 00:16:11,509
I'm ready for work.
425
00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:13,522
I just took a bunch
of power medicine,
426
00:16:13,574 --> 00:16:17,361
so I'm... ready for action.
427
00:16:17,392 --> 00:16:18,825
Actually, you know what?
428
00:16:18,837 --> 00:16:20,164
You might want to go this direction
429
00:16:20,191 --> 00:16:22,756
instead of directly that way.
430
00:16:22,828 --> 00:16:24,471
It's a quicker route.
431
00:16:24,515 --> 00:16:26,434
Yeah, that's the complete
opposite direction
432
00:16:26,458 --> 00:16:27,397
of the office.
433
00:16:27,432 --> 00:16:28,953
Yeah, I know, I know that.
434
00:16:28,981 --> 00:16:31,358
It's the scenic.
Do you like beauty?
435
00:16:31,396 --> 00:16:33,730
There's a volcano over there.
436
00:16:33,771 --> 00:16:36,377
It's a new one.
It just sprouted.
437
00:16:36,918 --> 00:16:38,542
In Rancho Cucamonga?
438
00:16:38,567 --> 00:16:40,468
Yeah, I don't know
if you know our new catchphrase,
439
00:16:40,490 --> 00:16:45,637
but it's "Rancho Cucamonga,
let's get prehistoric."
440
00:16:50,413 --> 00:16:52,744
Hello, you've reached Alice.
I'm the boss,
441
00:16:52,790 --> 00:16:55,342
and I'm very angry most of the time.
442
00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:57,284
I can't answer, 'cause I'm the boss.
443
00:16:57,313 --> 00:16:59,423
Did I mention that?
I'm Alice.
444
00:17:00,329 --> 00:17:01,480
How was that, Blake?
445
00:17:01,524 --> 00:17:03,109
Jillian, you're the best.
446
00:17:03,175 --> 00:17:05,167
- Blake!
- Blake! Whoa, dude!
447
00:17:05,204 --> 00:17:06,680
- What, man? I'm here.
- Dude, wake up!
448
00:17:06,701 --> 00:17:08,162
- Come on, man.
- The pills...
449
00:17:08,196 --> 00:17:11,116
So I know I was really tough
on you guys yesterday,
450
00:17:11,142 --> 00:17:13,286
and I just wanted
to say how sorry I was.
451
00:17:13,361 --> 00:17:16,030
It's just been kind
of a nightmare of a week.
452
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:19,133
My sister just found out
these test results,
453
00:17:19,169 --> 00:17:22,427
and it could be really serious.
454
00:17:23,445 --> 00:17:25,020
Dude, wake up!
455
00:17:25,147 --> 00:17:26,337
I can't see!
456
00:17:26,369 --> 00:17:27,716
Move your hair!
I can't see!
457
00:17:27,741 --> 00:17:29,227
- Move your hair.
- Move your hair!
458
00:17:30,161 --> 00:17:31,971
Oh, [Bleep]!
Blake?
459
00:17:32,096 --> 00:17:34,140
Are you o...
460
00:17:34,415 --> 00:17:35,567
Ders, where are you going?
461
00:17:35,985 --> 00:17:36,867
Where are you go...
462
00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:38,273
Okay, Blake, I'm gonna call someone.
463
00:17:38,302 --> 00:17:40,836
Ders!
Ders, where are you? Okay.
464
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,834
All right, what are we doing?
465
00:17:42,865 --> 00:17:44,475
What are we doing!
466
00:17:44,962 --> 00:17:46,681
- Jillian!
- I'm close.
467
00:17:46,716 --> 00:17:48,504
I've got her birthday,
social security number,
468
00:17:48,529 --> 00:17:49,979
ATM, height, weight,
skull circumference.
469
00:17:50,014 --> 00:17:51,099
- Move!
- What are you doing?
470
00:17:51,115 --> 00:17:52,727
- The only thing I can do.
- Holmvik!
471
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:54,447
Put it down.
472
00:17:55,277 --> 00:17:57,902
Put it...
I said...!
473
00:17:58,033 --> 00:17:59,112
Zzz!
474
00:17:59,771 --> 00:18:01,188
Hup!
475
00:18:03,915 --> 00:18:04,703
Aah!
476
00:18:11,113 --> 00:18:13,291
So I know all this
might sound weird to you,
477
00:18:13,322 --> 00:18:16,299
but to me it's just OCD, you know.
478
00:18:16,324 --> 00:18:19,913
And I'm not suffering from it,
Alice, I'm living with it.
479
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:21,741
Right.
480
00:18:21,788 --> 00:18:25,625
So your OCD makes you weigh
people's phones?
481
00:18:25,677 --> 00:18:27,428
Yeah.
And that's what I was doing.
482
00:18:27,712 --> 00:18:30,182
Yours is about, uh,
12 fluid ounces, give or take.
483
00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:31,603
That's fascinating.
484
00:18:31,628 --> 00:18:33,844
Hey, why don't you go out
into the parking lot
485
00:18:33,868 --> 00:18:35,328
and take care of your dumbass friends
486
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:36,650
who are asleep there.
487
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:39,205
- That'd be great, champs, okay?
- Very good. Thank you.
488
00:18:39,229 --> 00:18:41,465
If you catch me weighing
anybody else's,
489
00:18:41,527 --> 00:18:43,911
just give me like a...
We'll figure it out.
490
00:18:43,936 --> 00:18:45,438
Hey, wait!
491
00:18:45,466 --> 00:18:47,392
Were you trying
to listen to my messages?
492
00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:50,396
This is saying I'm locked
out of the system for 24 hours
493
00:18:50,414 --> 00:18:52,796
for entering the wrong password
too many times.
494
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:55,593
No, I was, uh, weighing your phone.
495
00:18:55,630 --> 00:18:56,944
That was me.
496
00:18:57,009 --> 00:19:00,997
Uh, I was just trying to be
the best assistant I could be.
497
00:19:01,387 --> 00:19:02,919
Jillian, it's your birthday.
498
00:19:02,949 --> 00:19:04,099
Really? Today?
499
00:19:04,123 --> 00:19:06,817
No, my password is your birthday.
500
00:19:06,877 --> 00:19:08,682
Well, color me flattered.
501
00:19:08,706 --> 00:19:12,106
Jillian, you set it up, remember?
502
00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:13,845
Oh, now I do.
503
00:19:14,126 --> 00:19:15,720
But you never changed it.
504
00:19:16,145 --> 00:19:17,652
Could've changed it.
505
00:19:18,406 --> 00:19:19,278
Didn't.
506
00:19:19,302 --> 00:19:21,534
Jillian, I thought telling you
507
00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:24,961
to stay the eff away from it
would be enough,
508
00:19:25,001 --> 00:19:26,429
but apparently it's not.
509
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:29,732
So I'm just gonna tell you,
if you go near my phone again,
510
00:19:29,757 --> 00:19:32,335
you'll be back washing dishes
at Shakey's.
511
00:19:32,553 --> 00:19:35,837
I watched dishes.
512
00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:37,977
I didn't wash them.
513
00:19:38,012 --> 00:19:40,221
There should be a warning
right on the label.
514
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,728
"It's not power medicine.
515
00:19:41,757 --> 00:19:43,945
You're not gonna gain strength.
You're gonna go to sleep."
516
00:19:44,209 --> 00:19:46,016
- It's P.M.
- Who woulda thunk.
517
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:49,227
Dude, how hard did Alice snap
on us today?
518
00:19:49,465 --> 00:19:50,384
Crazy, right?
519
00:19:50,525 --> 00:19:52,509
- Somebody needs to get twirked.
- Yeah.
520
00:19:52,553 --> 00:19:54,159
I'm not gonna be the one
twirking her,
521
00:19:54,178 --> 00:19:56,436
if she treats me like that,
and I'm a good twirker.
522
00:19:56,454 --> 00:19:58,079
- We know. We hear you.
- You're a great twirker.
523
00:19:58,098 --> 00:20:00,831
She doesn't even deserve
one ounce of your twirk.
524
00:20:00,843 --> 00:20:03,460
You got to move your hips
like a figure eight. Damn.
525
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:04,420
Yep, there it is.
526
00:20:04,444 --> 00:20:07,013
She's a freaking trick-ass b-yotch.
527
00:20:07,038 --> 00:20:08,230
She is, yeah.
528
00:20:08,272 --> 00:20:09,921
And I almost feel like
calling her up again
529
00:20:09,943 --> 00:20:12,306
and giving her a piece of my mind.
530
00:20:12,363 --> 00:20:13,519
Been there, huh?
531
00:20:13,549 --> 00:20:15,345
I thought of the best one today.
532
00:20:15,373 --> 00:20:17,378
I was like...
You know how you're always like,
533
00:20:17,409 --> 00:20:19,019
"oh, man, I wish
I could have said that,"
534
00:20:19,068 --> 00:20:20,415
after some stuff just happened?
535
00:20:20,434 --> 00:20:21,743
- Always.
- That's what happened.
536
00:20:21,771 --> 00:20:23,090
- What was it?
- Do it.
537
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:24,835
No, I don't think I...
538
00:20:24,863 --> 00:20:27,101
You got to, man, if it's that good.
539
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:28,729
It's ringing, it's ringing.
540
00:20:28,765 --> 00:20:30,517
- Shhh, shhh, shhh.
- I can't wait to hear it.
541
00:20:30,995 --> 00:20:32,801
Hello? Alice?
542
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:35,748
Uh, this is, uh, not Adam.
543
00:20:36,029 --> 00:20:38,414
You are a.
544
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,173
- You're a.
- You're a dumb.
545
00:20:41,201 --> 00:20:43,111
- You thought of that today?
- Yeah, earlier.
546
00:20:43,390 --> 00:20:49,312
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