1 00:00:10,812 --> 00:00:12,780 The Illusionist blows it out of the water. 2 00:00:12,814 --> 00:00:14,915 You're kidding. Ed Norton sucks. 3 00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:17,251 - I'm not defending ed Norton. - What about the title? 4 00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:19,390 He's not even a real magician. He's an illusionist? 5 00:00:19,418 --> 00:00:21,907 You watch your mouth. 6 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:27,485 "Adam 'Dwaynethe rock roommate demamp'"? 7 00:00:28,284 --> 00:00:30,087 All right. 8 00:00:31,976 --> 00:00:34,677 Aah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Whoa, no, no, no. 9 00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,604 I am so sorry. I was not expecting anybody. 10 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,506 - It's move-in day. - Oh, wow, okay. 11 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,108 Pointing fingers already. 12 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,976 Not a good start to our relationship. 13 00:00:43,011 --> 00:00:44,278 Hope you don't mind, I already kinda 14 00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:46,446 laid claim to this squadrent. 15 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,748 That's great, 'cause I got the microwave, 16 00:00:48,783 --> 00:00:50,250 and I'll just put it there, so... 17 00:00:50,285 --> 00:00:54,654 Sick. I love popcorn, so... [Knock on door] 18 00:00:54,689 --> 00:00:55,823 Hey. Greetings, earthlings. 19 00:00:55,857 --> 00:00:57,991 Anders Holmvik, resident advisor. 20 00:00:58,026 --> 00:01:00,194 - Hi, I'm Blake. - Blake. 21 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:02,930 What's up? I'm Adam. Demamp. 22 00:01:02,964 --> 00:01:04,798 Uh, you play sports. 23 00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:06,399 - Swim team. - So no? 24 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:08,168 [Laughs] Sorry, that was... 25 00:01:08,203 --> 00:01:10,101 that was a funny one. - Oh, yeah? That's funny? 26 00:01:10,142 --> 00:01:12,187 You know what's not funny? Burning alive 27 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,706 in the middle of the night because you don't know 28 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,066 your microwave just caught on fire. 29 00:01:15,093 --> 00:01:16,565 Microwaves, not allowed in the dorm. 30 00:01:16,597 --> 00:01:18,503 So I'll be taking this, because I'm your R.A. 31 00:01:18,530 --> 00:01:19,763 Hey, no, I didn't mean all that. 32 00:01:19,773 --> 00:01:21,286 Come on, man, just gimme a break. 33 00:01:21,305 --> 00:01:23,206 There are no breaks in college! 34 00:01:23,228 --> 00:01:26,030 Oh, hey, hey, hey! Cut it out! Pull those up! 35 00:01:26,071 --> 00:01:28,487 I'm sorry, I was so close to finishing 36 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:29,763 when you came in, initially. 37 00:01:29,821 --> 00:01:31,202 You're lucky I don't write you up. 38 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,185 All right, you two are 39 00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:35,311 on my s-[Bleep]-[Bleep]-t list. 40 00:01:35,338 --> 00:01:36,471 And it's a short list. 41 00:01:37,442 --> 00:01:41,666 It's too long. T-o-o long. 44 00:01:47,568 --> 00:01:48,725 Greetings, earthlings. 45 00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:50,935 Anders Holmvik, resident advisor. 46 00:01:51,045 --> 00:01:53,280 So are you gonna be turned around for a while, 47 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:54,982 or... 48 00:01:55,016 --> 00:01:57,985 [Vanessa Carlton's a thousand miles] 49 00:01:58,019 --> 00:02:00,020 ♪ 50 00:02:00,054 --> 00:02:02,589 ♪ It's always times like these when I think of you ♪ 51 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:06,855 ♪ And I wonder if you ever think of me ♪ 52 00:02:06,892 --> 00:02:10,813 What to do to die today at a minute or two to two. 53 00:02:10,877 --> 00:02:13,568 Hey, dude, they give you pudding, man. 54 00:02:13,609 --> 00:02:15,255 - Hey, dude. - You go in the cafeteria, 55 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,690 and you just swipe a card, and they give you 56 00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:18,502 as much pudding as you want. - Oh, cool. 57 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,446 - What's this, your schedule? - Yeah, yeah. 58 00:02:21,827 --> 00:02:24,068 What's up with all this theater, man? 59 00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:27,001 Well, I'm a theater major, so... 60 00:02:27,015 --> 00:02:29,616 yeah, I caught the acting bug pretty bad. 61 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,319 But yeah, I already auditioned for the fall production... 62 00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:34,187 les miserables. - That's cool. 63 00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:36,423 So can you, like, cry on command and stuff? 64 00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,158 Oh, yeah, it's easy. 65 00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,193 Think of something really sad real quick. 66 00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:41,828 Like, a bundle of babies exploding, 67 00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,530 or, like, dogs exploding. 68 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,698 Or, like... like, maybe your mom's really sick, 69 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:49,002 or you, like, walked in on, like... on her rape 70 00:02:49,037 --> 00:02:51,104 you now, stop him... you can't stop him 71 00:02:51,139 --> 00:02:52,472 because he's bigger than you. 72 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,675 Like, you just think of that... 73 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:03,951 Oh, that hit so close to home for me. 74 00:03:03,985 --> 00:03:06,619 My dog actually exploded when I was a kid. 75 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,221 - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... - It's okay. 76 00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:10,790 - You are a really good actor. - Thank you. 77 00:03:10,825 --> 00:03:11,927 You're like Seann Williams Scott. 78 00:03:11,951 --> 00:03:13,432 You're at a Seann Williams Scott level. 79 00:03:13,457 --> 00:03:14,475 Thank you. Thank you. 80 00:03:14,487 --> 00:03:16,166 Well, you know, it's just living truthfully 81 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:19,180 in imaginary circumstances, and whatever. 82 00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:21,783 Enough about me. What's... what's on your schedule? 83 00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:25,127 Oh, me... Women's sexuality, 84 00:03:25,147 --> 00:03:28,482 sexual revolution, the human body, 85 00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:30,886 remedial math... 86 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:33,013 The Bible as literature. 87 00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:34,781 I'm doing that for my gf. 88 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:37,650 Get the heck out of here. You already scored a girlfriend? 89 00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,186 Oh, no, she's back in high school. 90 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,954 We're, like, crazy religious, though. 91 00:03:40,989 --> 00:03:43,556 We always get on our knees... And pray to Jesus. 92 00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:45,392 - Not orally, please. - Oh. 93 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,294 You know, she's actually coming next weekend. 94 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,629 We'll go see you act the [Bleep] out of that play, dude. 95 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,231 Uh, that's not for a while. 96 00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:54,067 Plus, I already got cast as, like, a police officer. 97 00:03:54,102 --> 00:03:56,370 I'm just in the background. I don't even have lines. 98 00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:57,670 - What? - Yeah, I know. 99 00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,072 It's just a popularity contest 100 00:03:59,107 --> 00:04:00,240 when you get down to it. 101 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:02,009 Whoa, man. 102 00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:04,044 I'm, like, the most popular dude in my high school 103 00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:05,578 now that I've graduated high school, 104 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:09,516 and I am throwing you... A party, bro, 105 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,851 so you can infiltrate that theater-nerd crew. 106 00:04:11,886 --> 00:04:13,220 Like in mean girls. 107 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:14,687 - Yes! - [Laughs] 108 00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:16,908 You know, Mean girls is my favorite movie. 109 00:04:16,933 --> 00:04:17,909 It's mine too. 110 00:04:17,934 --> 00:04:19,563 Both: The DVD special commentary... 111 00:04:19,594 --> 00:04:21,775 - Oh! - Oh, my God. Oh, my... 112 00:04:21,799 --> 00:04:23,858 - listen to it. Lindsay just tells all. 113 00:04:23,885 --> 00:04:24,985 Oh, yeah. 114 00:04:25,764 --> 00:04:26,685 Tina Fey. 115 00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,710 You growing your hair out for Jesus Christ superstar? 116 00:04:28,775 --> 00:04:30,176 That's really cool. It looks great. 117 00:04:30,204 --> 00:04:31,704 That's dedication. I love it. 118 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:34,007 How about we celebrate my first night in college 119 00:04:34,042 --> 00:04:36,443 with a little... Finger sinning? 120 00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:37,610 You're so bad. 121 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:38,678 - We could try for two. - Stop. 122 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:39,979 I wanna try two. 123 00:04:40,014 --> 00:04:42,015 You wanna try two? Oh, my gosh. 124 00:04:42,050 --> 00:04:43,616 Adam. Adam. 125 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,485 The student director of les mis, he's here. 126 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,412 - He actually came. - Yes! 127 00:04:47,438 --> 00:04:49,789 Cranium? The children's game? 128 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:50,890 No, thank you. 129 00:04:50,925 --> 00:04:51,793 This is great, dude. 130 00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:53,675 This is exactly why we threw the party. 131 00:04:53,705 --> 00:04:54,878 Oh, no, I can't do it, man. 132 00:04:54,890 --> 00:04:56,506 I'm gonna blow it again. I'm too nervous. 133 00:04:56,522 --> 00:04:57,690 Don't get nervous. 134 00:04:57,887 --> 00:05:00,255 Smoke a little chron-chron, my baby. 135 00:05:00,963 --> 00:05:02,189 I've never tried it. 136 00:05:02,213 --> 00:05:05,282 I have a bevy of mixers off-campus to attend. 137 00:05:05,404 --> 00:05:07,372 Do you know about off-campus? 138 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:08,608 Or are you only aware of the world 139 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,043 immediately in front of you? 140 00:05:10,078 --> 00:05:12,112 Yes, look at that, it's time for me to go. 141 00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:13,447 It's showtime, bro-time. 142 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:16,983 Uh, actually, wait right here. 143 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,718 [Knock on door] Uhoh, guys, 144 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:21,455 I wonder who's knick-knocking on our door. 145 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,756 Who's here right now? This is weird, because 146 00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,792 all my friends are here. Is it... 147 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:29,396 [Gasps] The Napoleon dynamite? 148 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:32,799 [Imitating Napoleon dynamite] Gosh! Gosh... 149 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,402 Gosh. 150 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:36,603 Gosh! [Door shuts] 151 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,005 Wow, he is a true talent. 152 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,190 You should probably cast him 153 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,765 in the miserable lesbian play you're doing. 154 00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:42,775 Mm, no. 155 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,744 Come on, Tina, eat your dinner, 156 00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,111 you fat tub of lard! 157 00:05:46,139 --> 00:05:48,331 From the movie! Tina, from the mo... 158 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,551 [applause] - Thanks. Vote for Pedro. 159 00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,890 That was a funny part... "liger." What the hell is going on in here? 160 00:05:52,915 --> 00:05:54,209 Why is everyone clapping? 161 00:05:54,277 --> 00:05:56,045 Is that music? Chill out, man. 162 00:05:56,060 --> 00:05:58,773 - Take a seat, grab a beer. - You know what? It's 9:30, 163 00:05:58,805 --> 00:06:00,505 and you live on the swim team floor. 164 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:03,063 We hit the water at 6:00 A.M. for an 800 skip 'em. 165 00:06:03,084 --> 00:06:05,052 Which means lights out at 10:00. 166 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,881 Which tells me you need to brush your teeth 167 00:06:06,929 --> 00:06:08,129 and get on your jammy-jams. 168 00:06:08,148 --> 00:06:09,443 Hey, come on, man. 169 00:06:09,467 --> 00:06:11,368 [A LA Napoleon dynamite] You're being a frikkin' idiot! 170 00:06:11,399 --> 00:06:12,786 I'm not an idiot. I'm a smart person. 171 00:06:12,819 --> 00:06:13,920 Everybody out of here. Come on! 172 00:06:13,954 --> 00:06:15,187 See you at class tomorrow. 173 00:06:15,222 --> 00:06:16,966 I'm remembering all your faces. 174 00:06:17,122 --> 00:06:19,324 Scanning them now. 175 00:06:19,426 --> 00:06:21,227 Hey, babe. 176 00:06:21,261 --> 00:06:23,695 Um, I'll just drive home and come back next weekend. 177 00:06:23,930 --> 00:06:26,227 I swear to you, next weekend... 178 00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:29,758 I'm gonna finger bang you so good... I swear to God. 179 00:06:29,869 --> 00:06:31,904 Or other stuff, you know. It depen... 180 00:06:31,939 --> 00:06:33,872 whatever you want to... okay. How do you feel? 181 00:06:33,907 --> 00:06:35,507 That girl's probably gonna kill herself 182 00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:36,775 because I don't get to finger bang her. 183 00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:38,644 - Sure. - Yeah, what the heck, man! 184 00:06:38,678 --> 00:06:40,279 I was just about to do the tetherball scene! 185 00:06:40,314 --> 00:06:41,668 And then you came in and made me look like 186 00:06:41,687 --> 00:06:43,241 an amateur in front of my director. 187 00:06:43,264 --> 00:06:44,574 Yeah, you're crampin' our stees. 188 00:06:44,617 --> 00:06:46,118 You know what's amateur? 189 00:06:46,153 --> 00:06:47,719 Doing a Napoleon Dynamite impression 190 00:06:47,754 --> 00:06:49,676 and not wearing moon boots. Oh... 191 00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,594 Welcome to college... Again. 192 00:06:52,343 --> 00:06:53,574 Lights out, girls. 193 00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,608 - Lights out. - Holmvik. 194 00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:58,591 - You shut down that party? - Oh, hey, Lance, yeah. 195 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,077 Dude, I went in there, and I was, like, 196 00:07:00,101 --> 00:07:01,745 [imitates explosion] "Who's clapping? 197 00:07:01,768 --> 00:07:03,618 Why are you clapping?" Then I heard music, 198 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,337 and I couldn't find it at first, but then I found it... 199 00:07:05,366 --> 00:07:06,856 I shut it off, so we can hit the hay. 200 00:07:06,896 --> 00:07:08,397 Actually, me and the distance guys are 201 00:07:08,424 --> 00:07:09,812 getting in there first thing in the morning, 202 00:07:09,831 --> 00:07:11,032 so you need to run down to the pool 203 00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:12,516 and change the lanes to short course. 204 00:07:12,529 --> 00:07:13,829 Wait, what if... 205 00:07:13,913 --> 00:07:15,430 what if we woke up some of the freshmen 206 00:07:15,448 --> 00:07:17,130 and made them do it? Freak 'em out, right? 207 00:07:17,165 --> 00:07:19,749 And go, "you gotta go change the Lane lines now!" 208 00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,005 - Is that a joke? - No. 209 00:07:21,027 --> 00:07:23,327 Dude, you know that hazing is a really serious offense? 210 00:07:23,352 --> 00:07:24,958 - Right. - If I wanted a joke, 211 00:07:25,061 --> 00:07:26,524 I would turn on Mind of Mencia, 212 00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:28,547 and I would just laugh my shaft off. 213 00:07:29,570 --> 00:07:30,995 All right, well, I'll just, uh... 214 00:07:31,031 --> 00:07:32,131 I'll go change those lane lines. 215 00:07:32,165 --> 00:07:33,232 - Yeah. Thanks, man. - Oh-ho! 216 00:07:33,266 --> 00:07:34,441 - Ow. - And you know what? 217 00:07:34,472 --> 00:07:35,816 You should probably lay off the enchiladas 218 00:07:35,835 --> 00:07:38,070 in the caf. - Oh, okay. 219 00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:40,816 I will... If you do. 220 00:07:40,853 --> 00:07:42,219 'Cause I think you need to lay off 221 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,154 the enchiladas in the caf. 222 00:07:44,244 --> 00:07:46,145 No, Holmvik, I'm not joking. 223 00:07:46,916 --> 00:07:48,947 You're growing tits. 224 00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:51,641 Oh, all right... 225 00:07:52,437 --> 00:07:53,649 I'll lay off. 226 00:08:01,082 --> 00:08:04,913 Guy totally ruined my Dynamite Napoleon impression. 227 00:08:04,957 --> 00:08:06,039 [Sighs] Now what? 228 00:08:06,079 --> 00:08:07,947 I'm working on Shrek, but... 229 00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:11,890 [Imitating Shrek's brogue] It's years away, donkey. 230 00:08:11,948 --> 00:08:15,964 Jesus Christ... You ooze talent. 231 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,014 That was disgusting. 232 00:08:18,048 --> 00:08:19,715 And I can't even concentrate on that 233 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,583 because I'm too busy hating that dude. 234 00:08:21,618 --> 00:08:23,152 I don't blame the guy, though. 235 00:08:23,186 --> 00:08:24,953 He's cranky 'cause he has to wake up so early 236 00:08:24,988 --> 00:08:26,355 for swim practice. 237 00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:28,376 You know what? 238 00:08:28,672 --> 00:08:31,842 Maybe we need to make it so that he never, ever wakes up 239 00:08:31,876 --> 00:08:33,509 for swim practice again. 240 00:08:33,544 --> 00:08:37,380 One time I went swimming in, like, the neighbor's pool 241 00:08:37,414 --> 00:08:39,182 when they had just shocked it with chlorine. 242 00:08:39,217 --> 00:08:41,118 My skin got all fiery red, 243 00:08:41,152 --> 00:08:43,019 and my hair straightened out for, like, a month. 244 00:08:43,054 --> 00:08:45,021 When I was a toddler, I actually fell 245 00:08:45,056 --> 00:08:47,057 into a washing machine full of bleach, 246 00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:48,491 and I didn't get itchy at all. 247 00:08:48,525 --> 00:08:51,795 I did die, though... For, like, four minutes. 248 00:08:51,829 --> 00:08:53,463 The doctors said they couldn't believe 249 00:08:53,497 --> 00:08:55,341 how much brain damage I didn't get. 250 00:08:55,364 --> 00:08:57,298 They were, like, really impressed. 251 00:08:57,782 --> 00:09:00,163 That was fun. You wanna do another story battle? 252 00:09:00,218 --> 00:09:01,746 I kicked your ass. 253 00:09:01,824 --> 00:09:03,536 No. I just brought that up because I thought 254 00:09:03,566 --> 00:09:05,968 we could maybe shock this pool. 255 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,090 Good ide... you should have just said that. 256 00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,312 Now we're talking. 257 00:09:09,346 --> 00:09:11,481 One of these has got to do the trick. 258 00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:14,784 There's, like, 60 more back there, man. 259 00:09:15,512 --> 00:09:16,588 All right. 260 00:09:16,714 --> 00:09:18,315 You think this is funny? 261 00:09:18,711 --> 00:09:20,821 I just send you down to change the lanes, 262 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,119 and you poison the whole team? 263 00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:23,947 Look at Freddy. 264 00:09:24,644 --> 00:09:25,907 I didn't do this. I swear. 265 00:09:25,931 --> 00:09:27,312 And you know what, I'm not ready to lose 266 00:09:27,330 --> 00:09:28,696 to another [Bleep] Vanderkaay, 267 00:09:28,705 --> 00:09:30,206 so, Anders... 268 00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:32,304 There's a chain of command in swimming, 269 00:09:32,369 --> 00:09:35,175 and you are off the chain. - Thank you. 270 00:09:35,636 --> 00:09:38,731 No, I mean that you're off the team. 271 00:09:39,057 --> 00:09:41,770 - What? Coach? - Empty out your locker. 272 00:09:41,926 --> 00:09:43,751 You're gone! 273 00:09:44,404 --> 00:09:45,886 Get your tits off this deck! 274 00:09:45,938 --> 00:09:48,452 - Softy. The big softy. - Mm-hmm. 275 00:09:49,344 --> 00:09:51,386 Hey, there. What's the matter? 276 00:09:51,405 --> 00:09:53,473 Swim practice canceled? 277 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:55,210 Uh, yeah. 278 00:09:55,253 --> 00:09:57,388 That's cool. At least you get to sleep in, right? 279 00:09:58,493 --> 00:10:01,513 Actually, they, um... They kicked me off the team 280 00:10:01,537 --> 00:10:04,081 and took my scholarship, so... 281 00:10:04,335 --> 00:10:06,037 I'm kinda screwed since my dad's making me 282 00:10:06,062 --> 00:10:08,603 pay my way through school. Whatever. 283 00:10:08,645 --> 00:10:11,596 Ex-jock coming through. Heads up. 284 00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:14,579 [Knock on door] 285 00:10:14,933 --> 00:10:16,812 Hey, we just wanted to check on you 286 00:10:16,831 --> 00:10:18,853 because you were crying pretty hard in the shower. 287 00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:20,544 Frosh dogs, get in here and help me 288 00:10:20,568 --> 00:10:21,720 Polish off this case, 289 00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:23,866 seeing as that I'm not even your R.A. Anymore. 290 00:10:24,218 --> 00:10:25,818 - All right. - Yeah, come on in. 291 00:10:25,852 --> 00:10:28,287 These were actually our beers from before, so... 292 00:10:28,322 --> 00:10:29,822 - oh, these are yours? - Yeah, these are ours. 293 00:10:29,856 --> 00:10:30,446 Sorry. 294 00:10:30,477 --> 00:10:32,912 So you guys wanna make a toast or something? 295 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:36,641 To... Uh... Let's get drunk! 296 00:10:36,663 --> 00:10:38,337 - Yeah! - Now we're talkin'. 297 00:10:38,355 --> 00:10:39,656 All right! 298 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:40,849 One, two, three, chug race. 299 00:10:40,886 --> 00:10:43,088 All: Chug race! 300 00:10:43,121 --> 00:10:45,256 You chug it, boy. Chug it! 301 00:10:45,472 --> 00:10:48,141 This is a wrestling figure-four, baby! 302 00:10:48,175 --> 00:10:51,644 Oh... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 303 00:10:51,678 --> 00:10:55,448 ♪ You work at a smile and you go for a ride ♪ 304 00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:59,752 ♪ You had a bad day, the camera don't lie ♪ 305 00:10:59,786 --> 00:11:01,354 ♪ You're coming back down 306 00:11:01,388 --> 00:11:02,955 ♪ and you really don't mind. [Belches] 307 00:11:02,989 --> 00:11:06,091 ♪ You had a bad day [Laughter] 308 00:11:06,126 --> 00:11:08,227 ♪ You had a bad day 309 00:11:08,262 --> 00:11:10,796 yeah, I just... you know, I gotta go. 310 00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:15,601 I gotta get going, so... Um... Thanks... 311 00:11:15,636 --> 00:11:16,969 And good-bye forever. 312 00:11:17,003 --> 00:11:18,971 Yeah, bye forever. 313 00:11:19,005 --> 00:11:20,306 Bye forever. 314 00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:21,641 Yep. 315 00:11:21,675 --> 00:11:24,777 [Sighs] Pbbbbbbb... 316 00:11:24,811 --> 00:11:26,445 So that guy's gonna kill himself, right? 317 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:27,780 - Yeah. Mm-hmm. - All right. 318 00:11:27,814 --> 00:11:30,483 We're throwing you a party. What? 319 00:11:30,517 --> 00:11:31,750 Yeah, we're throwing you a massive party 320 00:11:31,785 --> 00:11:33,085 that everybody's gonna come to. 321 00:11:33,119 --> 00:11:34,220 And we're gonna make enough money 322 00:11:34,254 --> 00:11:35,854 to keep you in school for now. 323 00:11:35,889 --> 00:11:37,890 - Like van Wilder? - Yeah, like a lot of movies. 324 00:11:37,924 --> 00:11:40,926 - I'm Teck. - All we need is beer... 325 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,095 And drugs... And titties. 326 00:11:43,129 --> 00:11:45,264 You gots ta have some titties, baby. 327 00:11:45,299 --> 00:11:48,067 Well, I got one of those covered. 328 00:11:48,101 --> 00:11:49,768 Yeah, what is up with your moobs? 329 00:11:49,803 --> 00:11:53,239 What? Oh, no, I'm talking about booze. 330 00:11:55,008 --> 00:11:56,342 Confiscated. 331 00:11:56,376 --> 00:11:57,710 Seriously, though, about those titties... 332 00:11:57,744 --> 00:11:58,760 can I feel them? 333 00:11:58,785 --> 00:11:59,818 You know, a lot of people try 334 00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:00,716 and suck their own [Bleep]. 335 00:12:00,734 --> 00:12:02,402 I could titty [Bleep] myself. 336 00:12:09,026 --> 00:12:10,927 ♪ Chick do what? 337 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,999 [Hip-hop music] 338 00:12:14,052 --> 00:12:15,652 ♪ 339 00:12:20,338 --> 00:12:22,773 Party police. There's still another party. 340 00:12:22,807 --> 00:12:24,842 Whoa, check it out, man, it's gonna be cool. 341 00:12:24,876 --> 00:12:27,878 - Party police! - Gonna party tonight. 342 00:12:27,912 --> 00:12:29,746 Party police! Everybody stop... 343 00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:30,981 give me that smirnoff ice! 344 00:12:31,015 --> 00:12:32,783 If you guys want to party, 345 00:12:32,817 --> 00:12:34,084 there will be a school-sanctioned rager. 346 00:12:34,118 --> 00:12:38,088 $5. You can get all your booze back. 347 00:12:38,122 --> 00:12:40,090 We're party policemen! Give us your booze! 348 00:12:40,124 --> 00:12:42,125 So what now? I mean, why are we here? 349 00:12:42,159 --> 00:12:44,094 Oh, we're looking for a drug dealer. 350 00:12:44,128 --> 00:12:46,096 You know, my theater department colleagues, 351 00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:48,121 they swear by this guy. - Cool. 352 00:12:48,145 --> 00:12:49,384 - All right. - Let's do it. 353 00:12:49,417 --> 00:12:50,721 We'll probably have to get really high 354 00:12:50,734 --> 00:12:52,494 just to get through the day. 355 00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:54,771 Hey! Hey, what are you doing? 356 00:12:54,806 --> 00:12:56,473 Sorry. I'm sorry. 357 00:12:56,508 --> 00:12:58,375 That's people's work. You can't graffiti here. 358 00:12:58,409 --> 00:13:00,777 - Hey, [Bleep] You! - Oh, we got a clever one. 359 00:13:00,812 --> 00:13:02,278 Hey, what's your name? 360 00:13:02,313 --> 00:13:04,848 Look out, I'll get him. 361 00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:09,352 Looks about right. 362 00:13:11,322 --> 00:13:13,356 You mean genius. 363 00:13:13,391 --> 00:13:15,926 - Hey, wait. - Wait! 364 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,060 We just want to buy some weed. 365 00:13:17,094 --> 00:13:18,729 Weed? 366 00:13:18,763 --> 00:13:21,164 Oh, hell, yeah, bitch. 367 00:13:21,198 --> 00:13:23,734 I'll attack you with my butterfly kisses. 368 00:13:23,768 --> 00:13:25,669 You guys, we've already got a couple thousand bucks. 369 00:13:25,703 --> 00:13:26,970 This party's going great! 370 00:13:27,005 --> 00:13:29,006 Whoa, nice. 371 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,207 - I need a drink. - Awesome. I love you so much. 372 00:13:31,242 --> 00:13:32,910 Get me a beer, woman! 373 00:13:32,944 --> 00:13:35,679 I'm like my dad. He talks that way to my mom. 374 00:13:35,713 --> 00:13:38,015 - Your dad talks like that? - Yeah. 375 00:13:38,049 --> 00:13:41,451 Oh! Guys, I'm not gonna lie, I am so nervous. 376 00:13:41,485 --> 00:13:42,920 I invited Fritz here and, you know, 377 00:13:42,954 --> 00:13:45,255 he's already seen that I can do comedy, 378 00:13:45,289 --> 00:13:47,390 so I prepared a dramatic piece for him. 379 00:13:47,425 --> 00:13:49,893 So I'm gonna do this stirring monologue 380 00:13:49,928 --> 00:13:53,931 from Tim curry in the quintessential film Congo. 381 00:13:53,965 --> 00:13:55,537 - It's an American classic. - Mmhmm. 382 00:13:55,555 --> 00:13:57,095 You have no reason to be nervous. 383 00:13:57,114 --> 00:13:59,502 I'm the one who's about to propose to my girlfriend. 384 00:13:59,537 --> 00:14:01,705 - What? - A lifelong commitment. 385 00:14:01,739 --> 00:14:03,006 You're joking, right? 386 00:14:03,041 --> 00:14:05,876 I don't joke about love, Anders. 387 00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:06,796 [Correcting] On-ders. 388 00:14:06,858 --> 00:14:07,858 I used to cut myself 389 00:14:07,893 --> 00:14:08,926 to dashboard confessional. 390 00:14:08,961 --> 00:14:10,728 I love love, okay? 391 00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:12,586 Um, here's a joke. 392 00:14:12,645 --> 00:14:14,980 What did three girls say to the one dude? 393 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:18,593 So you, like, really love her. That's cool. 394 00:14:18,617 --> 00:14:20,785 Ehh, well, she's really the only chick 395 00:14:20,808 --> 00:14:22,876 that lets me make out with her until my tongue hurts. 396 00:14:22,953 --> 00:14:27,188 She's kind of my last shot at lifelong happiness. 397 00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:29,538 Wish me luck. 398 00:14:29,570 --> 00:14:31,896 All right. Don't blow it. [Chuckles] 399 00:14:32,207 --> 00:14:34,770 Don't blow it like I'm about to. 400 00:14:35,655 --> 00:14:38,210 Hey, buddy, I couldn't help but overhear 401 00:14:38,230 --> 00:14:40,465 you're being a little nervous Nelly Furtado. 402 00:14:41,312 --> 00:14:42,193 Yeah, I guess. 403 00:14:42,226 --> 00:14:44,794 - You need a friend? - Oh, nah. 404 00:14:44,824 --> 00:14:46,475 Bleh! No. Don't do it. 405 00:14:46,499 --> 00:14:48,701 Blake, try it once, man. Look at me, man. 406 00:14:48,718 --> 00:14:50,052 I got it all figured out, buddy. 407 00:14:51,298 --> 00:14:52,699 Did it cause your eye to do that, or... 408 00:14:52,724 --> 00:14:54,024 - no, I was born with that. - Oh, okay. 409 00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:55,409 Then, yeah, I'll give it a shot. 410 00:14:55,429 --> 00:14:57,097 Doesn't help, I'll tell you that much. 411 00:14:57,375 --> 00:15:00,106 - Where are my beers? - Oh! 412 00:15:00,681 --> 00:15:02,749 I was just looking for some cranberry juice. 413 00:15:02,784 --> 00:15:06,378 Well... Look no further. 414 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,034 Will you marry me? 415 00:15:11,469 --> 00:15:13,874 Adam, are you... are you kidding? 416 00:15:14,005 --> 00:15:15,572 I'm 16. 417 00:15:16,006 --> 00:15:18,073 Debatably the sexiest age. 418 00:15:18,109 --> 00:15:20,720 We doing this or are you gonna pussy out on me? 419 00:15:20,776 --> 00:15:21,914 Chicken. 420 00:15:21,937 --> 00:15:24,575 Adam, no, I... I don't understand what... 421 00:15:24,597 --> 00:15:26,178 - or, I don't know, 422 00:15:26,212 --> 00:15:29,225 you can knock off all that God stuff, right? 423 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:32,393 And just, pbbbbb... Fug me hard. 424 00:15:32,425 --> 00:15:34,627 - Well... - Hit that caboose. 425 00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:37,693 No, Adam, my faith means everything to me. 426 00:15:37,724 --> 00:15:38,583 Forever? 427 00:15:38,621 --> 00:15:41,994 I am not having sex until I'm married. 428 00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:45,619 Yeah, duh. You thick? 429 00:15:45,648 --> 00:15:46,886 You dumb-dumb. 430 00:15:46,911 --> 00:15:49,286 Obviously, that's why I'm proposing to you. 431 00:15:49,305 --> 00:15:50,272 You know what, Adam, 432 00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:51,816 I think we should take some time off. 433 00:15:51,854 --> 00:15:53,147 And I'll pray for you. 434 00:15:53,554 --> 00:15:55,335 You'll be in my prayers. 435 00:15:55,394 --> 00:15:57,487 You still want me to call you out of class on Tuesday? 436 00:15:57,518 --> 00:15:58,809 I'll take you to sonic. 437 00:15:58,837 --> 00:16:01,127 Wow, okay, you give your heart to someone, right? 438 00:16:01,152 --> 00:16:02,840 And they just rip it out 439 00:16:02,887 --> 00:16:04,842 and [Bleep] in the heart cavity area. 440 00:16:04,895 --> 00:16:07,063 College sucks. It's stupid. 441 00:16:07,392 --> 00:16:09,493 - Really? - Yeah. 442 00:16:09,527 --> 00:16:11,461 I'm having a really great time. 443 00:16:11,634 --> 00:16:12,502 Really? 444 00:16:12,528 --> 00:16:14,617 Of course, I'm from a boring small town 445 00:16:14,636 --> 00:16:19,095 with one stoplight, so this is... this is fun for me. 446 00:16:19,887 --> 00:16:22,279 How religious are you? 447 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,733 I wish this was real. [Pistol clicks] 448 00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:27,042 [Laughter] He would have murdered her. 449 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,955 Hey, it's Blake, right? 450 00:16:29,838 --> 00:16:31,044 Oh, [Bleep] Look at this. 451 00:16:31,063 --> 00:16:33,463 I saw you on campus earlier, and I've gotta say, 452 00:16:33,907 --> 00:16:36,210 pretty convincing French police officer. 453 00:16:36,247 --> 00:16:37,763 - Thank you. - How would you like to be 454 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,532 the understudy of Javert 455 00:16:39,558 --> 00:16:42,458 in this year's production of Les Mis? 456 00:16:42,542 --> 00:16:43,942 Understudy. 457 00:16:43,982 --> 00:16:47,351 How 'bout, uh, you study under my nut sack? 458 00:16:47,554 --> 00:16:48,888 Oh! [Laughter] 459 00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:50,412 - Right under there. - There it is. 460 00:16:50,437 --> 00:16:53,348 - There it is. - Sorry, is that a no? 461 00:16:53,375 --> 00:16:57,444 Fritz, life... is a stage. 462 00:16:57,565 --> 00:17:00,610 Smoke weed until you die. That's right. That's right. 463 00:17:00,629 --> 00:17:02,898 Now, why don't you go direct yourself over 464 00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:06,225 to the snack shack and get daddy some airheads? 465 00:17:06,289 --> 00:17:07,478 Bounce, man. 466 00:17:07,502 --> 00:17:09,470 Okay, I will bounce, thank you. 467 00:17:09,589 --> 00:17:11,247 - Bye. - That was good, man. 468 00:17:11,356 --> 00:17:13,223 Acting's for chicks, anyways. 469 00:17:13,245 --> 00:17:14,737 Yo, dudes, check it out. 470 00:17:14,858 --> 00:17:17,371 One semester in cash. We did it. 471 00:17:17,395 --> 00:17:19,149 Oh, man, that is so awesome 472 00:17:19,186 --> 00:17:22,321 because I was feeling very guilty about that. 473 00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:24,108 Why are you feeling guilty, man? 474 00:17:24,155 --> 00:17:27,730 - Well... - Poon! Poon! 475 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,745 Whoo! I'm on the sex train! 476 00:17:29,770 --> 00:17:32,037 Oh, he's pounding the beef out of her. 477 00:17:32,173 --> 00:17:34,879 This is my life! This is my life right now! 478 00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:36,141 - Don't stop. - Whoo! 479 00:17:36,170 --> 00:17:38,537 - Welcome to college. - Pooooon! 480 00:17:38,615 --> 00:17:41,717 - Oh! - Aah! 481 00:17:41,746 --> 00:17:43,680 Oh, doin' her doggy... good night! 482 00:17:43,752 --> 00:17:48,256 My bad. Yo, guys, check me out. 483 00:17:49,312 --> 00:17:52,414 [Cheers, laughter] Dude... Yeah! 484 00:17:53,075 --> 00:17:54,641 [Laughs] 485 00:17:54,757 --> 00:17:57,415 - You see that? - That's my guy. 486 00:17:57,442 --> 00:17:59,594 This is everything I've ever wanted. 487 00:17:59,622 --> 00:18:01,307 That's it, I gotta do it. I'm next. 488 00:18:01,339 --> 00:18:02,905 I'm jumping off that thing next. Do it. 489 00:18:02,940 --> 00:18:05,458 No, you're not. This party's over. 490 00:18:05,482 --> 00:18:08,284 This pool is ours, and you guys all gotta get out of here. 491 00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,905 No, we're not going anywhere, okay. 492 00:18:09,945 --> 00:18:11,808 This party's gonna go all night, right? 493 00:18:11,849 --> 00:18:13,968 [All cheer] 494 00:18:13,986 --> 00:18:17,321 Yeah, all right, I could let the party ride out. 495 00:18:17,533 --> 00:18:18,771 Cool. Thanks. 496 00:18:18,808 --> 00:18:20,208 - If you pay me. - Hey! 497 00:18:20,222 --> 00:18:23,110 Oh, no, no, no, no. That's his money. 498 00:18:23,294 --> 00:18:24,569 We... we earned that. 499 00:18:24,595 --> 00:18:26,230 Lance, I'm not your bitch any more, all right? 500 00:18:26,344 --> 00:18:29,924 Give it back. Take it from me. 501 00:18:30,336 --> 00:18:32,204 I got a better idea. 502 00:18:32,339 --> 00:18:36,288 Why don't we settle this like men... And swim for it? 503 00:18:36,643 --> 00:18:38,176 Whoa! 504 00:18:42,309 --> 00:18:45,755 Whooooah... It that, like, a swimmer thing? 505 00:18:45,808 --> 00:18:48,311 No, I didn't expect him to do that also. 506 00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:49,553 Damn it. 507 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,488 ♪ Skinny boy's in the place 508 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,079 That's it, Holmvik, you're about to get lapped. 509 00:19:02,116 --> 00:19:03,384 Suck my wake. 510 00:19:03,418 --> 00:19:05,819 God, swimming trash talk is horrible. 511 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:09,623 Okay, now we're gonna, uh, do the swim race. 512 00:19:09,658 --> 00:19:13,059 In three, two... 513 00:19:13,094 --> 00:19:14,395 Go, start swimming now! 514 00:19:14,429 --> 00:19:16,229 - Yeah. - Yeah! 515 00:19:16,264 --> 00:19:19,300 [Cheers and applause] 516 00:19:19,334 --> 00:19:21,268 - Swimming! - Yeah. 517 00:19:21,303 --> 00:19:26,473 - Go, Anders. - Go, Anders! 518 00:19:26,508 --> 00:19:27,974 Go, Anders! 519 00:19:28,009 --> 00:19:29,810 Come on, Anders! 520 00:19:34,749 --> 00:19:36,517 I thought that was gonna be it. 521 00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,018 This is a lot of swimming. Yeah, I mean... 522 00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:40,053 - how much longer do we have to watch this? 523 00:19:40,087 --> 00:19:43,156 This is boring. Wanna smoke some weed? 524 00:19:43,191 --> 00:19:44,525 Yes, I will do anything 525 00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:46,327 besides watch these two naked dudes swim. 526 00:19:46,361 --> 00:19:49,095 All right, everybody stay right where you are. 527 00:19:49,130 --> 00:19:52,999 - Oh... No... no running. - Stop! 528 00:19:53,034 --> 00:19:54,535 No running. 529 00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:56,503 Hey, tell everybody that we threw this party. 530 00:19:56,538 --> 00:19:58,405 All right, let's go, Anders, you got this. 531 00:19:58,440 --> 00:19:59,573 You versus you. 532 00:19:59,607 --> 00:20:01,542 Oh, all right. Hey. Ow. 533 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:04,678 - Okay. Jesus. - Did I win? 534 00:20:04,713 --> 00:20:07,348 Kicked off campus. 535 00:20:07,382 --> 00:20:09,049 Wow, I did not see that coming. 536 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,518 Whatever, man. Who wants to live in the dorms anyways? 537 00:20:11,553 --> 00:20:14,488 It sucks. Now we can party like last night every night. 538 00:20:14,522 --> 00:20:16,256 I'm gonna drink and have sex so much 539 00:20:16,290 --> 00:20:18,359 I'm probably gonna puke out my dick! 540 00:20:18,393 --> 00:20:19,926 - Yeah. - Yeah! 541 00:20:19,961 --> 00:20:22,252 Yeah, okay, well, living off-campus is expensive. 542 00:20:22,295 --> 00:20:23,932 We might as well check out one of these jobs. 543 00:20:23,965 --> 00:20:25,399 Hello. Hello. 544 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,768 Oh, hi, guys. 545 00:20:26,786 --> 00:20:29,688 I hope you'll consider applying to Telamericorp. 546 00:20:29,804 --> 00:20:32,495 You know, telemarketing can be a very lucrative 547 00:20:32,514 --> 00:20:34,549 part-time job for a student. 548 00:20:34,577 --> 00:20:36,445 - Ha ha, no, thanks. - Yeah. 549 00:20:36,461 --> 00:20:38,264 I don't think we need to be on the phones, 550 00:20:38,312 --> 00:20:40,683 cold-calling strangers and selling steak knives or... 551 00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:41,756 I don't know what you do. - Yeah. 552 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:43,684 We have our whole lives ahead of us, 553 00:20:43,718 --> 00:20:46,481 which are more than likely gonna be sick! 554 00:20:46,516 --> 00:20:48,098 Yeah. [Laughter] 555 00:20:48,134 --> 00:20:49,734 Do you guys drug test? 556 00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:50,991 - Yeah. - Of course. 557 00:20:51,025 --> 00:20:52,626 Oh! [Laughter] 558 00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,340 Oh, hey! That was... 559 00:20:54,372 --> 00:20:56,940 see, I told you that would happen if you wore that. 560 00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:59,067 Is it cool if I just hang out with you guys here? 561 00:20:59,086 --> 00:21:01,020 Nice! 562 00:21:01,047 --> 00:21:03,149 [Snorting, party horn blows] 563 00:21:03,188 --> 00:21:08,188 Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for www.Addic7ed.Com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther