1 00:00:09,812 --> 00:00:11,780 The Illusionist blows it out of the water. 2 00:00:11,814 --> 00:00:13,915 You're kidding. Ed Norton sucks. 3 00:00:13,949 --> 00:00:16,251 - I'm not defending ed Norton. - What about the title? 4 00:00:16,285 --> 00:00:18,390 He's not even a real magician. He's an illusionist? 5 00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,907 You watch your mouth. 6 00:00:22,757 --> 00:00:26,485 "Adam 'Dwaynethe rock roommate demamp'"? 7 00:00:27,284 --> 00:00:29,087 All right. 8 00:00:30,976 --> 00:00:33,677 Aah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Whoa, no, no, no. 9 00:00:33,702 --> 00:00:36,604 I am so sorry. I was not expecting anybody. 10 00:00:36,638 --> 00:00:38,506 - It's move-in day. - Oh, wow, okay. 11 00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:40,108 Pointing fingers already. 12 00:00:40,142 --> 00:00:41,976 Not a good start to our relationship. 13 00:00:42,011 --> 00:00:43,278 Hope you don't mind, I already kinda 14 00:00:43,312 --> 00:00:45,446 laid claim to this squadrent. 15 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,748 That's great, 'cause I got the microwave, 16 00:00:47,783 --> 00:00:49,250 and I'll just put it there, so... 17 00:00:49,285 --> 00:00:53,654 Sick. I love popcorn, so... 18 00:00:53,689 --> 00:00:54,823 Hey. Greetings, earthlings. 19 00:00:54,857 --> 00:00:56,991 Anders Holmvik, resident advisor. 20 00:00:57,026 --> 00:00:59,194 - Hi, I'm Blake. - Blake. 21 00:00:59,228 --> 00:01:01,930 What's up? I'm Adam. Demamp. 22 00:01:01,964 --> 00:01:03,798 Uh, you play sports. 23 00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:05,399 - Swim team. - So no? 24 00:01:05,434 --> 00:01:07,168 Sorry, that was... 25 00:01:07,203 --> 00:01:09,101 that was a funny one. - Oh, yeah? That's funny? 26 00:01:09,142 --> 00:01:11,187 You know what's not funny? Burning alive 27 00:01:11,206 --> 00:01:12,706 in the middle of the night because you don't know 28 00:01:12,741 --> 00:01:14,066 your microwave just caught on fire. 29 00:01:14,093 --> 00:01:15,565 Microwaves, not allowed in the dorm. 30 00:01:15,597 --> 00:01:17,503 So I'll be taking this, because I'm your R.A. 31 00:01:17,530 --> 00:01:18,763 Hey, no, I didn't mean all that. 32 00:01:18,773 --> 00:01:20,286 Come on, man, just gimme a break. 33 00:01:20,305 --> 00:01:22,206 There are no breaks in college! 34 00:01:22,228 --> 00:01:25,030 Oh, hey, hey, hey! Cut it out! Pull those up! 35 00:01:25,071 --> 00:01:27,487 I'm sorry, I was so close to finishing 36 00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:28,763 when you came in, initially. 37 00:01:28,821 --> 00:01:30,202 You're lucky I don't write you up. 38 00:01:30,292 --> 00:01:32,185 All right, you two are 39 00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:34,311 on my s---t list. 40 00:01:34,338 --> 00:01:35,471 And it's a short list. 41 00:01:36,442 --> 00:01:40,666 It's too long. T-o-o long. 42 00:01:46,568 --> 00:01:47,725 Greetings, earthlings. 43 00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,935 Anders Holmvik, resident advisor. 44 00:01:50,045 --> 00:01:52,280 So are you gonna be turned around for a while, 45 00:01:52,314 --> 00:01:53,982 or... 46 00:01:59,054 --> 00:02:01,589 ♪ It's always times like these when I think of you ♪ 47 00:02:01,623 --> 00:02:05,855 ♪ And I wonder if you ever think of me ♪ 48 00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:09,813 What to do to die today at a minute or two to two. 49 00:02:09,877 --> 00:02:12,568 Hey, dude, they give you pudding, man. 50 00:02:12,609 --> 00:02:14,255 - Hey, dude. - You go in the cafeteria, 51 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,690 and you just swipe a card, and they give you 52 00:02:15,707 --> 00:02:17,502 as much pudding as you want. - Oh, cool. 53 00:02:17,514 --> 00:02:19,446 - What's this, your schedule? - Yeah, yeah. 54 00:02:20,827 --> 00:02:23,068 What's up with all this theater, man? 55 00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:26,001 Well, I'm a theater major, so... 56 00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:28,616 yeah, I caught the acting bug pretty bad. 57 00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:31,319 But yeah, I already auditioned for the fall production... 58 00:02:31,353 --> 00:02:33,187 les miserables. - That's cool. 59 00:02:33,222 --> 00:02:35,423 So can you, like, cry on command and stuff? 60 00:02:35,457 --> 00:02:37,158 Oh, yeah, it's easy. 61 00:02:37,192 --> 00:02:39,193 Think of something really sad real quick. 62 00:02:39,228 --> 00:02:40,828 Like, a bundle of babies exploding, 63 00:02:40,862 --> 00:02:42,530 or, like, dogs exploding. 64 00:02:42,564 --> 00:02:44,698 Or, like... like, maybe your mom's really sick, 65 00:02:44,733 --> 00:02:48,002 or you, like, walked in on, like... on her rape 66 00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:50,104 you now, stop him... you can't stop him 67 00:02:50,139 --> 00:02:51,472 because he's bigger than you. 68 00:02:51,506 --> 00:02:54,675 Like, you just think of that... 69 00:02:58,347 --> 00:03:02,951 Oh, that hit so close to home for me. 70 00:03:02,985 --> 00:03:05,619 My dog actually exploded when I was a kid. 71 00:03:05,654 --> 00:03:07,221 - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... - It's okay. 72 00:03:07,256 --> 00:03:09,790 - You are a really good actor. - Thank you. 73 00:03:09,825 --> 00:03:10,927 You're like Seann Williams Scott. 74 00:03:10,951 --> 00:03:12,432 You're at a Seann Williams Scott level. 75 00:03:12,457 --> 00:03:13,475 Thank you. Thank you. 76 00:03:13,487 --> 00:03:15,166 Well, you know, it's just living truthfully 77 00:03:15,197 --> 00:03:18,180 in imaginary circumstances, and whatever. 78 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,783 Enough about me. What's... what's on your schedule? 79 00:03:20,883 --> 00:03:24,127 Oh, me... Women's sexuality, 80 00:03:24,147 --> 00:03:27,482 sexual revolution, the human body, 81 00:03:27,517 --> 00:03:29,886 remedial math... 82 00:03:30,045 --> 00:03:32,013 The Bible as literature. 83 00:03:32,047 --> 00:03:33,781 I'm doing that for my gf. 84 00:03:33,815 --> 00:03:36,650 Get the heck out of here. You already scored a girlfriend? 85 00:03:36,685 --> 00:03:38,186 Oh, no, she's back in high school. 86 00:03:38,220 --> 00:03:39,954 We're, like, crazy religious, though. 87 00:03:39,989 --> 00:03:42,556 We always get on our knees... And pray to Jesus. 88 00:03:42,591 --> 00:03:44,392 - Not orally, please. - Oh. 89 00:03:44,426 --> 00:03:46,294 You know, she's actually coming next weekend. 90 00:03:46,328 --> 00:03:48,629 We'll go see you act the out of that play, dude. 91 00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,231 Uh, that's not for a while. 92 00:03:50,265 --> 00:03:53,067 Plus, I already got cast as, like, a police officer. 93 00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:55,370 I'm just in the background. I don't even have lines. 94 00:03:55,404 --> 00:03:56,670 - What? - Yeah, I know. 95 00:03:56,705 --> 00:03:58,072 It's just a popularity contest 96 00:03:58,107 --> 00:03:59,240 when you get down to it. 97 00:03:59,274 --> 00:04:01,009 Whoa, man. 98 00:04:01,043 --> 00:04:03,044 I'm, like, the most popular dude in my high school 99 00:04:03,078 --> 00:04:04,578 now that I've graduated high school, 100 00:04:04,613 --> 00:04:08,516 and I am throwing you... A party, bro, 101 00:04:08,550 --> 00:04:10,851 so you can infiltrate that theater-nerd crew. 102 00:04:10,886 --> 00:04:12,220 Like in mean girls. 103 00:04:12,254 --> 00:04:13,687 Yes! 104 00:04:13,722 --> 00:04:15,908 You know, Mean girls is my favorite movie. 105 00:04:15,933 --> 00:04:16,909 It's mine too. 106 00:04:16,934 --> 00:04:18,563 The DVD special commentary... 107 00:04:18,594 --> 00:04:20,775 - Oh! - Oh, my God. Oh, my... 108 00:04:20,799 --> 00:04:22,858 - listen to it. Lindsay just tells all. 109 00:04:22,885 --> 00:04:23,985 Oh, yeah. 110 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:25,685 Tina Fey. 111 00:04:25,709 --> 00:04:27,710 You growing your hair out for Jesus Christ superstar? 112 00:04:27,775 --> 00:04:29,176 That's really cool. It looks great. 113 00:04:29,204 --> 00:04:30,704 That's dedication. I love it. 114 00:04:30,739 --> 00:04:33,007 How about we celebrate my first night in college 115 00:04:33,042 --> 00:04:35,443 with a little... Finger sinning? 116 00:04:35,477 --> 00:04:36,610 You're so bad. 117 00:04:36,645 --> 00:04:37,678 - We could try for two. - Stop. 118 00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:38,979 I wanna try two. 119 00:04:39,014 --> 00:04:41,015 You wanna try two? Oh, my gosh. 120 00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:42,616 Adam. Adam. 121 00:04:42,651 --> 00:04:44,485 The student director of les mis, he's here. 122 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,412 - He actually came. - Yes! 123 00:04:46,438 --> 00:04:48,789 Cranium? The children's game? 124 00:04:48,823 --> 00:04:49,890 No, thank you. 125 00:04:49,925 --> 00:04:50,793 This is great, dude. 126 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,675 This is exactly why we threw the party. 127 00:04:52,705 --> 00:04:53,878 Oh, no, I can't do it, man. 128 00:04:53,890 --> 00:04:55,506 I'm gonna blow it again. I'm too nervous. 129 00:04:55,522 --> 00:04:56,690 Don't get nervous. 130 00:04:56,887 --> 00:04:59,255 Smoke a little chron-chron, my baby. 131 00:04:59,963 --> 00:05:01,189 I've never tried it. 132 00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:04,282 I have a bevy of mixers off-campus to attend. 133 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,372 Do you know about off-campus? 134 00:05:06,575 --> 00:05:07,608 Or are you only aware of the world 135 00:05:07,642 --> 00:05:09,043 immediately in front of you? 136 00:05:09,078 --> 00:05:11,112 Yes, look at that, it's time for me to go. 137 00:05:11,146 --> 00:05:12,447 It's showtime, bro-time. 138 00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:15,983 Uh, actually, wait right here. 139 00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:17,718 Uhoh, guys, 140 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:20,455 I wonder who's knick-knocking on our door. 141 00:05:20,489 --> 00:05:22,756 Who's here right now? This is weird, because 142 00:05:22,791 --> 00:05:24,792 all my friends are here. Is it... 143 00:05:24,826 --> 00:05:28,396 The Napoleon dynamite? 144 00:05:28,430 --> 00:05:31,799 Gosh! Gosh... 145 00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:34,402 Gosh. 146 00:05:34,436 --> 00:05:35,603 Gosh! 147 00:05:35,637 --> 00:05:38,005 Wow, he is a true talent. 148 00:05:38,039 --> 00:05:39,190 You should probably cast him 149 00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:40,765 in the miserable lesbian play you're doing. 150 00:05:40,809 --> 00:05:41,775 Mm, no. 151 00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:43,744 Come on, Tina, eat your dinner, 152 00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:45,111 you fat tub of lard! 153 00:05:45,139 --> 00:05:47,331 From the movie! Tina, from the mo... 154 00:05:47,382 --> 00:05:49,551 - Thanks. Vote for Pedro. 155 00:05:49,559 --> 00:05:51,890 That was a funny part... "liger." What the hell is going on in here? 156 00:05:51,915 --> 00:05:53,209 Why is everyone clapping? 157 00:05:53,277 --> 00:05:55,045 Is that music? Chill out, man. 158 00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:57,773 - Take a seat, grab a beer. - You know what? It's 9:30, 159 00:05:57,805 --> 00:05:59,505 and you live on the swim team floor. 160 00:05:59,528 --> 00:06:02,063 We hit the water at 6:00 A.M. for an 800 skip 'em. 161 00:06:02,084 --> 00:06:04,052 Which means lights out at 10:00. 162 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,881 Which tells me you need to brush your teeth 163 00:06:05,929 --> 00:06:07,129 and get on your jammy-jams. 164 00:06:07,148 --> 00:06:08,443 Hey, come on, man. 165 00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:10,368 You're being a frikkin' idiot! 166 00:06:10,399 --> 00:06:11,786 I'm not an idiot. I'm a smart person. 167 00:06:11,819 --> 00:06:12,920 Everybody out of here. Come on! 168 00:06:12,954 --> 00:06:14,187 See you at class tomorrow. 169 00:06:14,222 --> 00:06:15,966 I'm remembering all your faces. 170 00:06:16,122 --> 00:06:18,324 Scanning them now. 171 00:06:18,426 --> 00:06:20,227 Hey, babe. 172 00:06:20,261 --> 00:06:22,695 Um, I'll just drive home and come back next weekend. 173 00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:25,227 I swear to you, next weekend... 174 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:28,758 I'm gonna finger bang you so good... I swear to God. 175 00:06:28,869 --> 00:06:30,904 Or other stuff, you know. It depen... 176 00:06:30,939 --> 00:06:32,872 whatever you want to... okay. How do you feel? 177 00:06:32,907 --> 00:06:34,507 That girl's probably gonna kill herself 178 00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:35,775 because I don't get to finger bang her. 179 00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:37,644 - Sure. - Yeah, what the heck, man! 180 00:06:37,678 --> 00:06:39,279 I was just about to do the tetherball scene! 181 00:06:39,314 --> 00:06:40,668 And then you came in and made me look like 182 00:06:40,687 --> 00:06:42,241 an amateur in front of my director. 183 00:06:42,264 --> 00:06:43,574 Yeah, you're crampin' our stees. 184 00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:45,118 You know what's amateur? 185 00:06:45,153 --> 00:06:46,719 Doing a Napoleon Dynamite impression 186 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,676 and not wearing moon boots. Oh... 187 00:06:48,713 --> 00:06:50,594 Welcome to college... Again. 188 00:06:51,343 --> 00:06:52,574 Lights out, girls. 189 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,608 - Lights out. - Holmvik. 190 00:06:54,932 --> 00:06:57,591 - You shut down that party? - Oh, hey, Lance, yeah. 191 00:06:57,627 --> 00:06:59,077 Dude, I went in there, and I was, like, 192 00:06:59,101 --> 00:07:00,745 "Who's clapping? 193 00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:02,618 Why are you clapping?" Then I heard music, 194 00:07:02,624 --> 00:07:04,337 and I couldn't find it at first, but then I found it... 195 00:07:04,366 --> 00:07:05,856 I shut it off, so we can hit the hay. 196 00:07:05,896 --> 00:07:07,397 Actually, me and the distance guys are 197 00:07:07,424 --> 00:07:08,812 getting in there first thing in the morning, 198 00:07:08,831 --> 00:07:10,032 so you need to run down to the pool 199 00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:11,516 and change the lanes to short course. 200 00:07:11,529 --> 00:07:12,829 Wait, what if... 201 00:07:12,913 --> 00:07:14,430 what if we woke up some of the freshmen 202 00:07:14,448 --> 00:07:16,130 and made them do it? Freak 'em out, right? 203 00:07:16,165 --> 00:07:18,749 And go, "you gotta go change the Lane lines now!" 204 00:07:18,787 --> 00:07:20,005 - Is that a joke? - No. 205 00:07:20,027 --> 00:07:22,327 Dude, you know that hazing is a really serious offense? 206 00:07:22,352 --> 00:07:23,958 - Right. - If I wanted a joke, 207 00:07:24,061 --> 00:07:25,524 I would turn on Mind of Mencia, 208 00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,547 and I would just laugh my shaft off. 209 00:07:28,570 --> 00:07:29,995 All right, well, I'll just, uh... 210 00:07:30,031 --> 00:07:31,131 I'll go change those lane lines. 211 00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:32,232 - Yeah. Thanks, man. - Oh-ho! 212 00:07:32,266 --> 00:07:33,441 - Ow. - And you know what? 213 00:07:33,472 --> 00:07:34,816 You should probably lay off the enchiladas 214 00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:37,070 in the caf. - Oh, okay. 215 00:07:37,392 --> 00:07:39,816 I will... If you do. 216 00:07:39,853 --> 00:07:41,219 'Cause I think you need to lay off 217 00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,154 the enchiladas in the caf. 218 00:07:43,244 --> 00:07:45,145 No, Holmvik, I'm not joking. 219 00:07:45,916 --> 00:07:47,947 You're growing tits. 220 00:07:48,950 --> 00:07:50,641 Oh, all right... 221 00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:52,649 I'll lay off. 222 00:08:00,082 --> 00:08:03,913 Guy totally ruined my Dynamite Napoleon impression. 223 00:08:03,957 --> 00:08:05,039 Now what? 224 00:08:05,079 --> 00:08:06,947 I'm working on Shrek, but... 225 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,890 It's years away, donkey. 226 00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:14,964 Jesus Christ... You ooze talent. 227 00:08:15,246 --> 00:08:17,014 That was disgusting. 228 00:08:17,048 --> 00:08:18,715 And I can't even concentrate on that 229 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,583 because I'm too busy hating that dude. 230 00:08:20,618 --> 00:08:22,152 I don't blame the guy, though. 231 00:08:22,186 --> 00:08:23,953 He's cranky 'cause he has to wake up so early 232 00:08:23,988 --> 00:08:25,355 for swim practice. 233 00:08:25,390 --> 00:08:27,376 You know what? 234 00:08:27,672 --> 00:08:30,842 Maybe we need to make it so that he never, ever wakes up 235 00:08:30,876 --> 00:08:32,509 for swim practice again. 236 00:08:32,544 --> 00:08:36,380 One time I went swimming in, like, the neighbor's pool 237 00:08:36,414 --> 00:08:38,182 when they had just shocked it with chlorine. 238 00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:40,118 My skin got all fiery red, 239 00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:42,019 and my hair straightened out for, like, a month. 240 00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:44,021 When I was a toddler, I actually fell 241 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:46,057 into a washing machine full of bleach, 242 00:08:46,091 --> 00:08:47,491 and I didn't get itchy at all. 243 00:08:47,525 --> 00:08:50,795 I did die, though... For, like, four minutes. 244 00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:52,463 The doctors said they couldn't believe 245 00:08:52,497 --> 00:08:54,341 how much brain damage I didn't get. 246 00:08:54,364 --> 00:08:56,298 They were, like, really impressed. 247 00:08:56,782 --> 00:08:59,163 That was fun. You wanna do another story battle? 248 00:08:59,218 --> 00:09:00,746 I kicked your ass. 249 00:09:00,824 --> 00:09:02,536 No. I just brought that up because I thought 250 00:09:02,566 --> 00:09:04,968 we could maybe shock this pool. 251 00:09:05,246 --> 00:09:07,090 Good ide... you should have just said that. 252 00:09:07,112 --> 00:09:08,312 Now we're talking. 253 00:09:08,346 --> 00:09:10,481 One of these has got to do the trick. 254 00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:13,784 There's, like, 60 more back there, man. 255 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:15,588 All right. 256 00:09:15,714 --> 00:09:17,315 You think this is funny? 257 00:09:17,711 --> 00:09:19,821 I just send you down to change the lanes, 258 00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:21,119 and you poison the whole team? 259 00:09:21,146 --> 00:09:22,947 Look at Freddy. 260 00:09:23,644 --> 00:09:24,907 I didn't do this. I swear. 261 00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,312 And you know what, I'm not ready to lose 262 00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,696 to another [Bleep] Vanderkaay, 263 00:09:27,705 --> 00:09:29,206 so, Anders... 264 00:09:29,696 --> 00:09:31,304 There's a chain of command in swimming, 265 00:09:31,369 --> 00:09:34,175 and you are off the chain. - Thank you. 266 00:09:34,636 --> 00:09:37,731 No, I mean that you're off the team. 267 00:09:38,057 --> 00:09:40,770 - What? Coach? - Empty out your locker. 268 00:09:40,926 --> 00:09:42,751 You're gone! 269 00:09:43,404 --> 00:09:44,886 Get your tits off this deck! 270 00:09:44,938 --> 00:09:47,452 - Softy. The big softy. - Mm-hmm. 271 00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:50,386 Hey, there. What's the matter? 272 00:09:50,405 --> 00:09:52,473 Swim practice canceled? 273 00:09:53,061 --> 00:09:54,210 Uh, yeah. 274 00:09:54,253 --> 00:09:56,388 That's cool. At least you get to sleep in, right? 275 00:09:57,493 --> 00:10:00,513 Actually, they, um... They kicked me off the team 276 00:10:00,537 --> 00:10:03,081 and took my scholarship, so... 277 00:10:03,335 --> 00:10:05,037 I'm kinda screwed since my dad's making me 278 00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:07,603 pay my way through school. Whatever. 279 00:10:07,645 --> 00:10:10,596 Ex-jock coming through. Heads up. 280 00:10:13,933 --> 00:10:15,812 Hey, we just wanted to check on you 281 00:10:15,831 --> 00:10:17,853 because you were crying pretty hard in the shower. 282 00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,544 Frosh dogs, get in here and help me 283 00:10:19,568 --> 00:10:20,720 Polish off this case, 284 00:10:20,747 --> 00:10:22,866 seeing as that I'm not even your R.A. Anymore. 285 00:10:23,218 --> 00:10:24,818 - All right. - Yeah, come on in. 286 00:10:24,852 --> 00:10:27,287 These were actually our beers from before, so... 287 00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:28,822 - oh, these are yours? - Yeah, these are ours. 288 00:10:28,856 --> 00:10:29,446 Sorry. 289 00:10:29,477 --> 00:10:31,912 So you guys wanna make a toast or something? 290 00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:35,641 To... Uh... Let's get drunk! 291 00:10:35,663 --> 00:10:37,337 - Yeah! - Now we're talkin'. 292 00:10:37,355 --> 00:10:38,656 All right! 293 00:10:38,682 --> 00:10:39,849 One, two, three, chug race. 294 00:10:39,886 --> 00:10:42,088 Chug race! 295 00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:44,256 You chug it, boy. Chug it! 296 00:10:44,472 --> 00:10:47,141 This is a wrestling figure-four, baby! 297 00:10:47,175 --> 00:10:50,644 Oh... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 298 00:10:50,678 --> 00:10:54,448 ♪ You work at a smile and you go for a ride ♪ 299 00:10:54,482 --> 00:10:58,752 ♪ You had a bad day, the camera don't lie ♪ 300 00:10:58,786 --> 00:11:00,354 ♪ You're coming back down 301 00:11:00,388 --> 00:11:01,955 ♪ and you really don't mind. 302 00:11:01,989 --> 00:11:05,091 ♪ You had a bad day 303 00:11:05,126 --> 00:11:07,227 ♪ You had a bad day 304 00:11:07,262 --> 00:11:09,796 yeah, I just... you know, I gotta go. 305 00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:14,601 I gotta get going, so... Um... Thanks... 306 00:11:14,636 --> 00:11:15,969 And good-bye forever. 307 00:11:16,003 --> 00:11:17,971 Yeah, bye forever. 308 00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:19,306 Bye forever. 309 00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:20,641 Yep. 310 00:11:20,675 --> 00:11:23,777 Pbbbbbbb... 311 00:11:23,811 --> 00:11:25,445 So that guy's gonna kill himself, right? 312 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:26,780 - Yeah. Mm-hmm. - All right. 313 00:11:26,814 --> 00:11:29,483 We're throwing you a party. What? 314 00:11:29,517 --> 00:11:30,750 Yeah, we're throwing you a massive party 315 00:11:30,785 --> 00:11:32,085 that everybody's gonna come to. 316 00:11:32,119 --> 00:11:33,220 And we're gonna make enough money 317 00:11:33,254 --> 00:11:34,854 to keep you in school for now. 318 00:11:34,889 --> 00:11:36,890 - Like van Wilder? - Yeah, like a lot of movies. 319 00:11:36,924 --> 00:11:39,926 - I'm Teck. - All we need is beer... 320 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,095 And drugs... And titties. 321 00:11:42,129 --> 00:11:44,264 You gots ta have some titties, baby. 322 00:11:44,299 --> 00:11:47,067 Well, I got one of those covered. 323 00:11:47,101 --> 00:11:48,768 Yeah, what is up with your moobs? 324 00:11:48,803 --> 00:11:52,239 What? Oh, no, I'm talking about booze. 325 00:11:54,008 --> 00:11:55,342 Confiscated. 326 00:11:55,376 --> 00:11:56,710 Seriously, though, about those titties... 327 00:11:56,744 --> 00:11:57,760 can I feel them? 328 00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:58,818 You know, a lot of people try 329 00:11:58,844 --> 00:11:59,716 and suck their own. 330 00:11:59,734 --> 00:12:01,402 I could titty [Bleep] myself. 331 00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:09,927 ♪ Chick do what? 332 00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,773 Party police. There's still another party. 333 00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,842 Whoa, check it out, man, it's gonna be cool. 334 00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:26,878 - Party police! - Gonna party tonight. 335 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,746 Party police! Everybody stop... 336 00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:29,981 give me that smirnoff ice! 337 00:12:30,015 --> 00:12:31,783 If you guys want to party, 338 00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:33,084 there will be a school-sanctioned rager. 339 00:12:33,118 --> 00:12:37,088 $5. You can get all your booze back. 340 00:12:37,122 --> 00:12:39,090 We're party policemen! Give us your booze! 341 00:12:39,124 --> 00:12:41,125 So what now? I mean, why are we here? 342 00:12:41,159 --> 00:12:43,094 Oh, we're looking for a drug dealer. 343 00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:45,096 You know, my theater department colleagues, 344 00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:47,121 they swear by this guy. - Cool. 345 00:12:47,145 --> 00:12:48,384 - All right. - Let's do it. 346 00:12:48,417 --> 00:12:49,721 We'll probably have to get really high 347 00:12:49,734 --> 00:12:51,494 just to get through the day. 348 00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,771 Hey! Hey, what are you doing? 349 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:55,473 Sorry. I'm sorry. 350 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,375 That's people's work. You can't graffiti here. 351 00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:59,777 - Hey, [Bleep] You! - Oh, we got a clever one. 352 00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,278 Hey, what's your name? 353 00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:03,848 Look out, I'll get him. 354 00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:08,352 Looks about right. 355 00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:12,356 You mean genius. 356 00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:14,926 - Hey, wait. - Wait! 357 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,060 We just want to buy some weed. 358 00:13:16,094 --> 00:13:17,729 Weed? 359 00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:20,164 Oh, hell, yeah, bitch. 360 00:13:20,198 --> 00:13:22,734 I'll attack you with my butterfly kisses. 361 00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:24,669 You guys, we've already got a couple thousand bucks. 362 00:13:24,703 --> 00:13:25,970 This party's going great! 363 00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:28,006 Whoa, nice. 364 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,207 - I need a drink. - Awesome. I love you so much. 365 00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:31,910 Get me a beer, woman! 366 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:34,679 I'm like my dad. He talks that way to my mom. 367 00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:37,015 - Your dad talks like that? - Yeah. 368 00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:40,451 Oh! Guys, I'm not gonna lie, I am so nervous. 369 00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:41,920 I invited Fritz here and, you know, 370 00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:44,255 he's already seen that I can do comedy, 371 00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:46,390 so I prepared a dramatic piece for him. 372 00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:48,893 So I'm gonna do this stirring monologue 373 00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:52,931 from Tim curry in the quintessential film Congo. 374 00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:54,537 - It's an American classic. - Mmhmm. 375 00:13:54,555 --> 00:13:56,095 You have no reason to be nervous. 376 00:13:56,114 --> 00:13:58,502 I'm the one who's about to propose to my girlfriend. 377 00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:00,705 - What? - A lifelong commitment. 378 00:14:00,739 --> 00:14:02,006 You're joking, right? 379 00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,876 I don't joke about love, Anders. 380 00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:05,796 On-ders. 381 00:14:05,858 --> 00:14:06,858 I used to cut myself 382 00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:07,926 to dashboard confessional. 383 00:14:07,961 --> 00:14:09,728 I love love, okay? 384 00:14:10,218 --> 00:14:11,586 Um, here's a joke. 385 00:14:11,645 --> 00:14:13,980 What did three girls say to the one dude? 386 00:14:14,289 --> 00:14:17,593 So you, like, really love her. That's cool. 387 00:14:17,617 --> 00:14:19,785 Ehh, well, she's really the only chick 388 00:14:19,808 --> 00:14:21,876 that lets me make out with her until my tongue hurts. 389 00:14:21,953 --> 00:14:26,188 She's kind of my last shot at lifelong happiness. 390 00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:28,538 Wish me luck. 391 00:14:28,570 --> 00:14:30,896 All right. Don't blow it. 392 00:14:31,207 --> 00:14:33,770 Don't blow it like I'm about to. 393 00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:37,210 Hey, buddy, I couldn't help but overhear 394 00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:39,465 you're being a little nervous Nelly Furtado. 395 00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:41,193 Yeah, I guess. 396 00:14:41,226 --> 00:14:43,794 - You need a friend? - Oh, nah. 397 00:14:43,824 --> 00:14:45,475 Bleh! No. Don't do it. 398 00:14:45,499 --> 00:14:47,701 Blake, try it once, man. Look at me, man. 399 00:14:47,718 --> 00:14:49,052 I got it all figured out, buddy. 400 00:14:50,298 --> 00:14:51,699 Did it cause your eye to do that, or... 401 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,024 - no, I was born with that. - Oh, okay. 402 00:14:53,043 --> 00:14:54,409 Then, yeah, I'll give it a shot. 403 00:14:54,429 --> 00:14:56,097 Doesn't help, I'll tell you that much. 404 00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:59,106 - Where are my beers? - Oh! 405 00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,749 I was just looking for some cranberry juice. 406 00:15:01,784 --> 00:15:05,378 Well... Look no further. 407 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:10,034 Will you marry me? 408 00:15:10,469 --> 00:15:12,874 Adam, are you... are you kidding? 409 00:15:13,005 --> 00:15:14,572 I'm 16. 410 00:15:15,006 --> 00:15:17,073 Debatably the sexiest age. 411 00:15:17,109 --> 00:15:19,720 We doing this or are you gonna pussy out on me? 412 00:15:19,776 --> 00:15:20,914 Chicken. 413 00:15:20,937 --> 00:15:23,575 Adam, no, I... I don't understand what... 414 00:15:23,597 --> 00:15:25,178 - or, I don't know, 415 00:15:25,212 --> 00:15:28,225 you can knock off all that God stuff, right? 416 00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:31,393 And just, pbbbbb... Fug me hard. 417 00:15:31,425 --> 00:15:33,627 - Well... - Hit that caboose. 418 00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:36,693 No, Adam, my faith means everything to me. 419 00:15:36,724 --> 00:15:37,583 Forever? 420 00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:40,994 I am not having sex until I'm married. 421 00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:44,619 Yeah, duh. You thick? 422 00:15:44,648 --> 00:15:45,886 You dumb-dumb. 423 00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:48,286 Obviously, that's why I'm proposing to you. 424 00:15:48,305 --> 00:15:49,272 You know what, Adam, 425 00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:50,816 I think we should take some time off. 426 00:15:50,854 --> 00:15:52,147 And I'll pray for you. 427 00:15:52,554 --> 00:15:54,335 You'll be in my prayers. 428 00:15:54,394 --> 00:15:56,487 You still want me to call you out of class on Tuesday? 429 00:15:56,518 --> 00:15:57,809 I'll take you to sonic. 430 00:15:57,837 --> 00:16:00,127 Wow, okay, you give your heart to someone, right? 431 00:16:00,152 --> 00:16:01,840 And they just rip it out 432 00:16:01,887 --> 00:16:03,842 and in the heart cavity area. 433 00:16:03,895 --> 00:16:06,063 College sucks. It's stupid. 434 00:16:06,392 --> 00:16:08,493 - Really? - Yeah. 435 00:16:08,527 --> 00:16:10,461 I'm having a really great time. 436 00:16:10,634 --> 00:16:11,502 Really? 437 00:16:11,528 --> 00:16:13,617 Of course, I'm from a boring small town 438 00:16:13,636 --> 00:16:18,095 with one stoplight, so this is... this is fun for me. 439 00:16:18,887 --> 00:16:21,279 How religious are you? 440 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,733 I wish this was real. 441 00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:26,042 He would have murdered her. 442 00:16:26,054 --> 00:16:27,955 Hey, it's Blake, right? 443 00:16:28,838 --> 00:16:30,044 Oh, [Bleep] Look at this. 444 00:16:30,063 --> 00:16:32,463 I saw you on campus earlier, and I've gotta say, 445 00:16:32,907 --> 00:16:35,210 pretty convincing French police officer. 446 00:16:35,247 --> 00:16:36,763 - Thank you. - How would you like to be 447 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,532 the understudy of Javert 448 00:16:38,558 --> 00:16:41,458 in this year's production of Les Mis? 449 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:42,942 Understudy. 450 00:16:42,982 --> 00:16:46,351 How 'bout, uh, you study under my nut sack? 451 00:16:46,554 --> 00:16:47,888 Oh! 452 00:16:47,917 --> 00:16:49,412 - Right under there. - There it is. 453 00:16:49,437 --> 00:16:52,348 - There it is. - Sorry, is that a no? 454 00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:56,444 Fritz, life... is a stage. 455 00:16:56,565 --> 00:16:59,610 Smoke weed until you die. That's right. That's right. 456 00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:01,898 Now, why don't you go direct yourself over 457 00:17:01,923 --> 00:17:05,225 to the snack shack and get daddy some airheads? 458 00:17:05,289 --> 00:17:06,478 Bounce, man. 459 00:17:06,502 --> 00:17:08,470 Okay, I will bounce, thank you. 460 00:17:08,589 --> 00:17:10,247 - Bye. - That was good, man. 461 00:17:10,356 --> 00:17:12,223 Acting's for chicks, anyways. 462 00:17:12,245 --> 00:17:13,737 Yo, dudes, check it out. 463 00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:16,371 One semester in cash. We did it. 464 00:17:16,395 --> 00:17:18,149 Oh, man, that is so awesome 465 00:17:18,186 --> 00:17:21,321 because I was feeling very guilty about that. 466 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,108 Why are you feeling guilty, man? 467 00:17:23,155 --> 00:17:26,730 - Well... - Poon! Poon! 468 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,745 Whoo! I'm on the sex train! 469 00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:31,037 Oh, he's pounding the beef out of her. 470 00:17:31,173 --> 00:17:33,879 This is my life! This is my life right now! 471 00:17:33,910 --> 00:17:35,141 - Don't stop. - Whoo! 472 00:17:35,170 --> 00:17:37,537 - Welcome to college. - Pooooon! 473 00:17:37,615 --> 00:17:40,717 - Oh! - Aah! 474 00:17:40,746 --> 00:17:42,680 Oh, doin' her doggy... good night! 475 00:17:42,752 --> 00:17:47,256 My bad. Yo, guys, check me out. 476 00:17:48,312 --> 00:17:51,414 Dude... Yeah! 477 00:17:53,757 --> 00:17:56,415 - You see that? - That's my guy. 478 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:58,594 This is everything I've ever wanted. 479 00:17:58,622 --> 00:18:00,307 That's it, I gotta do it. I'm next. 480 00:18:00,339 --> 00:18:01,905 I'm jumping off that thing next. Do it. 481 00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:04,458 No, you're not. This party's over. 482 00:18:04,482 --> 00:18:07,284 This pool is ours, and you guys all gotta get out of here. 483 00:18:07,304 --> 00:18:08,905 No, we're not going anywhere, okay. 484 00:18:08,945 --> 00:18:10,808 This party's gonna go all night, right? 485 00:18:12,986 --> 00:18:16,321 Yeah, all right, I could let the party ride out. 486 00:18:16,533 --> 00:18:17,771 Cool. Thanks. 487 00:18:17,808 --> 00:18:19,208 - If you pay me. - Hey! 488 00:18:19,222 --> 00:18:22,110 Oh, no, no, no, no. That's his money. 489 00:18:22,294 --> 00:18:23,569 We... we earned that. 490 00:18:23,595 --> 00:18:25,230 Lance, I'm not your bitch any more, all right? 491 00:18:25,344 --> 00:18:28,924 Give it back. Take it from me. 492 00:18:29,336 --> 00:18:31,204 I got a better idea. 493 00:18:31,339 --> 00:18:35,288 Why don't we settle this like men... And swim for it? 494 00:18:35,643 --> 00:18:37,176 Whoa! 495 00:18:41,309 --> 00:18:44,755 Whooooah... It that, like, a swimmer thing? 496 00:18:44,808 --> 00:18:47,311 No, I didn't expect him to do that also. 497 00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:48,553 Damn it. 498 00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:50,488 ♪ Skinny boy's in the place 499 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:01,079 That's it, Holmvik, you're about to get lapped. 500 00:19:01,116 --> 00:19:02,384 Suck my wake. 501 00:19:02,418 --> 00:19:04,819 God, swimming trash talk is horrible. 502 00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:08,623 Okay, now we're gonna, uh, do the swim race. 503 00:19:08,658 --> 00:19:12,059 In three, two... 504 00:19:12,094 --> 00:19:13,395 Go, start swimming now! 505 00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:15,229 - Yeah. - Yeah! 506 00:19:18,334 --> 00:19:20,268 - Swimming! - Yeah. 507 00:19:20,303 --> 00:19:25,473 - Go, Anders. - Go, Anders! 508 00:19:25,508 --> 00:19:26,974 Go, Anders! 509 00:19:27,009 --> 00:19:28,810 Come on, Anders! 510 00:19:33,749 --> 00:19:35,517 I thought that was gonna be it. 511 00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:37,018 This is a lot of swimming. Yeah, I mean... 512 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:39,053 - how much longer do we have to watch this? 513 00:19:39,087 --> 00:19:42,156 This is boring. Wanna smoke some weed? 514 00:19:42,191 --> 00:19:43,525 Yes, I will do anything 515 00:19:43,559 --> 00:19:45,327 besides watch these two naked dudes swim. 516 00:19:45,361 --> 00:19:48,095 All right, everybody stay right where you are. 517 00:19:48,130 --> 00:19:51,999 - Oh... No... no running. - Stop! 518 00:19:52,034 --> 00:19:53,535 No running. 519 00:19:53,569 --> 00:19:55,503 Hey, tell everybody that we threw this party. 520 00:19:55,538 --> 00:19:57,405 All right, let's go, Anders, you got this. 521 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,573 You versus you. 522 00:19:58,607 --> 00:20:00,542 Oh, all right. Hey. Ow. 523 00:20:00,576 --> 00:20:03,678 - Okay. Jesus. - Did I win? 524 00:20:03,713 --> 00:20:06,348 Kicked off campus. 525 00:20:06,382 --> 00:20:08,049 Wow, I did not see that coming. 526 00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:10,518 Whatever, man. Who wants to live in the dorms anyways? 527 00:20:10,553 --> 00:20:13,488 It sucks. Now we can party like last night every night. 528 00:20:13,522 --> 00:20:15,256 I'm gonna drink and have sex so much 529 00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:17,359 I'm probably gonna puke out my dick! 530 00:20:17,393 --> 00:20:18,926 - Yeah. - Yeah! 531 00:20:18,961 --> 00:20:21,252 Yeah, okay, well, living off-campus is expensive. 532 00:20:21,295 --> 00:20:22,932 We might as well check out one of these jobs. 533 00:20:22,965 --> 00:20:24,399 Hello. Hello. 534 00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:25,768 Oh, hi, guys. 535 00:20:25,786 --> 00:20:28,688 I hope you'll consider applying to Telamericorp. 536 00:20:28,804 --> 00:20:31,495 You know, telemarketing can be a very lucrative 537 00:20:31,514 --> 00:20:33,549 part-time job for a student. 538 00:20:33,577 --> 00:20:35,445 - Ha ha, no, thanks. - Yeah. 539 00:20:35,461 --> 00:20:37,264 I don't think we need to be on the phones, 540 00:20:37,312 --> 00:20:39,683 cold-calling strangers and selling steak knives or... 541 00:20:39,741 --> 00:20:40,756 I don't know what you do. - Yeah. 542 00:20:40,783 --> 00:20:42,684 We have our whole lives ahead of us, 543 00:20:42,718 --> 00:20:45,481 which are more than likely gonna be sick! 544 00:20:45,516 --> 00:20:47,098 Yeah. 545 00:20:47,134 --> 00:20:48,734 Do you guys drug test? 546 00:20:48,791 --> 00:20:49,991 - Yeah. - Of course. 547 00:20:50,025 --> 00:20:51,626 Oh! 548 00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:53,340 Oh, hey! That was... 549 00:20:53,372 --> 00:20:55,940 see, I told you that would happen if you wore that. 550 00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:58,067 Is it cool if I just hang out with you guys here? 551 00:20:58,086 --> 00:21:00,020 Nice! 552 00:21:02,188 --> 00:21:07,188 Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for www.Addic7ed.Com Resync for DEMAND by antibio