﻿1
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♪ <i>Two... two, three...</i> ♪

2
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 7x10
- Near-Death Wish -

3
00:00:10,118 --> 00:00:16,112
Sync and corrections by Tony for
www.Addic7ed.Com

4
00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:24,916
Welcome back
to the clippie awards,

5
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honoring the year's most
accomplished delivery boys.

6
00:00:28,321 --> 00:00:32,557
Our next category
is best newcomer on a bicycle.

7
00:00:32,591 --> 00:00:33,825
Good luck, Dwight.

8
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(Bell dings)

9
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And the nominees are

10
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Johnny Jensen from rent-a-cat,

11
00:00:39,733 --> 00:00:43,101
Nezzbin Zalgabarg,
ten-minute underwear,

12
00:00:43,336 --> 00:00:47,072
and Dwight Conrad, speedy wig.

13
00:00:47,606 --> 00:00:49,408
And the clippie goes to...

14
00:00:49,442 --> 00:00:51,676
(Grunting)

15
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Little Johnny Jensen!

16
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(Applause)

17
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Oh, don't feel bad, son.

18
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,722
We couldn't be
more proud of you.

19
00:01:03,756 --> 00:01:05,823
Unless, of course,
you had won the award.

20
00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:08,660
Man, you're so lucky
to have your family here.

21
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:11,296
The stupid Professor
didn't even show up for me.

22
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:14,466
I'd just like to thank
my awesome parents.

23
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We love you, Johnny!

24
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Shh!

25
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Now to get all serious.

26
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It's time to pay tribute
to the brave delivery boys

27
00:01:23,576 --> 00:01:25,710
who gave their lives
this past year

28
00:01:25,745 --> 00:01:28,546
in the line of duty.

29
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Gene Tinker, bus.

30
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Charles Kiley, train.

31
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Mike Pisarik, lion.

32
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They're on the truck
to heaven now.

33
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Up next, the award
for best delivery boy:

34
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Newspaper, phone book,
or miscellaneous.

35
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Miscellaneous, that's me.

36
00:01:52,705 --> 00:01:54,272
The nominees are:

37
00:01:54,307 --> 00:01:55,707
Gene tinker,

38
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,108
Charles kiley,

39
00:01:57,142 --> 00:01:58,376
Mike Pisarik,

40
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and Philip J. Fry.

41
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And the clippie goes to...

44
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(Applause)

45
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Sign here.

46
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Wow.
Uh, (Clears throat)

47
00:02:17,730 --> 00:02:20,198
I'd like to thank the academy
of delivery sciences,

48
00:02:20,232 --> 00:02:22,033
my lovely robot, Bender,

49
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and most of all, my dear nephew,

50
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Professor Farnsworth.

51
00:02:27,239 --> 00:02:30,308
He always has time for me,

52
00:02:30,343 --> 00:02:32,076
whether it's sending me
on a delivery,

53
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:35,279
or just pulling me aside
to tell me I'm doing a bad job.

54
00:02:35,314 --> 00:02:36,448
And why?

55
00:02:36,482 --> 00:02:37,949
Because he's family,

56
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and family is always there
for each other.

57
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,254
(Groans) I'm sorry,

58
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,956
but I can't keep reading
this tissue of lies.

59
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,391
The truth is,

60
00:02:46,425 --> 00:02:49,594
Professor Farnsworth is a cold,
heartless jerk!

61
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And the fish sticks were limp!

62
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,906
Ooh, hefty.

63
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:04,242
You could really bash
in a skull with this thing.

64
00:03:04,276 --> 00:03:06,110
I know, right?

65
00:03:07,946 --> 00:03:09,347
(Clears throat loudly)

66
00:03:09,382 --> 00:03:10,448
What?

67
00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:12,083
Oh, your awards show.

68
00:03:12,117 --> 00:03:13,918
I'm sorry I couldn't make it,

69
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but I had a very good reason.

70
00:03:16,188 --> 00:03:17,989
Perhaps you'd favor us with it?

71
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,357
My pleasure.

72
00:03:19,392 --> 00:03:22,126
You see, I came down
with a searing case

73
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,762
of who gives a crap.

74
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(Giggles)

75
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(Growling)

76
00:03:26,699 --> 00:03:29,166
Oh, I wish I had
more living relatives.

77
00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:30,869
What about
the Professor's parents?

78
00:03:30,903 --> 00:03:32,303
They're still alive?

79
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:35,106
Sure, they exhibit
all the telltale signs...

80
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toenails growing,
hearts pumping fluid,

81
00:03:37,877 --> 00:03:39,611
the whole shmagoigle.

82
00:03:39,645 --> 00:03:41,279
So where do these fossils live,

83
00:03:41,313 --> 00:03:43,448
in sedimentary rock?

84
00:03:43,482 --> 00:03:46,017
(Laughing)

85
00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,619
No.

86
00:03:47,653 --> 00:03:49,721
According to
his next of kin file,

87
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they live
in a virtual retirement home

88
00:03:51,891 --> 00:03:53,625
on the near-death star.

89
00:03:53,659 --> 00:03:54,692
I've been there.

90
00:03:54,727 --> 00:03:55,993
Let's boldly go

91
00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:58,095
where we've gone before.

92
00:04:13,412 --> 00:04:14,679
Halt!

93
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,314
Visitors are forbidden.

94
00:04:16,348 --> 00:04:17,582
Oh, really?

95
00:04:17,616 --> 00:04:19,150
Does that rule apply to...

96
00:04:19,184 --> 00:04:20,351
Clippie winners?

97
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,519
I'm sorry, sir.

98
00:04:21,554 --> 00:04:23,855
Go right in.

99
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:26,190
That's Philip J. Fry.

100
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:29,393
Ned and velma Farnsworth,

101
00:04:29,428 --> 00:04:31,563
423 Shadybrook Lane.

102
00:04:31,597 --> 00:04:33,698
Let's hover-roll.

103
00:04:35,935 --> 00:04:39,270
Fry, you're so confident and
take charge on this trip.

104
00:04:39,304 --> 00:04:40,872
It's kind of a turn-on.

105
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:43,307
Not now, Leela,
I'm trying to meet old people.

106
00:04:47,446 --> 00:04:51,749
("Also Sprach Zarathustra"
plays)

107
00:04:51,784 --> 00:04:54,385
(Doorbell rings)

108
00:04:57,289 --> 00:04:59,357
My God...

109
00:04:59,391 --> 00:05:01,693
It's full of geezers.

110
00:05:11,069 --> 00:05:13,104
Hey, why are they hooked up
like that?

111
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:16,107
Is it some kind of craft-matic
adjustable death bed?

112
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:17,742
(Chuckles) Don't be ridiculous.

113
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,578
Their bodies are being used
to generate electricity.

114
00:05:20,613 --> 00:05:23,615
The idea came from an old
movie called <i>the matrix.</i>

115
00:05:23,649 --> 00:05:25,550
But-but wouldn't
almost anything

116
00:05:25,584 --> 00:05:27,819
make a better battery
than a human body?

117
00:05:27,853 --> 00:05:29,086
Like a potato?

118
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,555
Or a battery?

119
00:05:30,589 --> 00:05:32,790
Plus, no matter
how much energy they produced,

120
00:05:32,825 --> 00:05:35,426
it would take more energy
than that to keep them alive.

121
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,928
I know, I know.

122
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,563
It sounds absurd.

123
00:05:38,597 --> 00:05:40,632
In fact,
when <i>the matrix</i> first came out,

124
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it seemed like
the single crummiest, laziest,

125
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most awful, dimwitted idea

126
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,438
in the entire history
of science fiction,

127
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,774
but it turned out to be true.
Who knew?

128
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,676
Good work, writer
of <i>the matrix.</i>

129
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,446
This is it, room 1119.

130
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,281
Aw, it's my relatives.

131
00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,752
I'm gonna call them
Gram-Gram and Shabba-doo.

132
00:06:00,786 --> 00:06:02,587
They look just like you, Fry.

133
00:06:02,621 --> 00:06:04,756
Arms, legs, ugly.

134
00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:07,959
Too bad we can't visit them
in their virtual world.

135
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,928
We can.
Just moisten your heads

136
00:06:09,962 --> 00:06:12,430
and put on these
real-to-virtual adapter caps.

137
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:19,938
Hmm, electricity plus hats
with wires on them.

138
00:06:19,972 --> 00:06:21,505
Are you sure this is safe?

139
00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:24,776
It's not just safe,
it's 40% safe.

140
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(Electrical crackling,
grunting)

141
00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:39,256
(Yelling)

142
00:06:46,065 --> 00:06:48,399
(Yelling)

143
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:52,804
Told you it was safe.

144
00:06:57,085 --> 00:07:00,788
Wow, so this is my relatives'
virtual old-folks home.

145
00:07:10,765 --> 00:07:13,200
There's only one word for it:
Terrible.

146
00:07:13,235 --> 00:07:15,536
And also horrible.

147
00:07:15,570 --> 00:07:17,037
This is their room.

148
00:07:17,071 --> 00:07:20,173
They're gonna be so
excited to meet me.

149
00:07:20,208 --> 00:07:22,610
Hi.

150
00:07:22,644 --> 00:07:24,111
I'm your distant relative.

151
00:07:24,145 --> 00:07:25,779
Forget it, you flimflammer.

152
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:28,716
I can smell a scam a mile away.

153
00:07:31,219 --> 00:07:32,686
Reverse mortgages.

154
00:07:32,721 --> 00:07:35,222
Get your reverse
mortgages here.

155
00:07:35,257 --> 00:07:37,157
Oh, come in, come in.

156
00:07:39,227 --> 00:07:41,795
So, you're really
my grandson, huh?

157
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,530
Well, it's not quite
that simple.

158
00:07:43,565 --> 00:07:45,699
See, I got frozen, and your son,

159
00:07:45,734 --> 00:07:48,636
Professor Farnsworth, is my
great-great-great-great-great...

160
00:07:48,670 --> 00:07:50,404
Huh?
What?

161
00:07:50,438 --> 00:07:53,206
Yep, I'm your grandson
all right.

162
00:07:53,241 --> 00:07:54,642
A grandson?

163
00:07:54,676 --> 00:07:56,410
My, you're a big boy.

164
00:07:56,444 --> 00:07:57,711
What are you, a...

165
00:07:57,746 --> 00:07:59,212
A junior in high school?

166
00:07:59,247 --> 00:08:00,581
Most recently, yes.

167
00:08:00,615 --> 00:08:02,082
Oh, you look so thin.

168
00:08:02,116 --> 00:08:05,319
Can I offer you some
virtual ham casserole?

169
00:08:05,353 --> 00:08:07,087
Sounds delicious.

170
00:08:07,121 --> 00:08:09,390
Mmm.

171
00:08:09,424 --> 00:08:11,224
(Sighs)

172
00:08:11,259 --> 00:08:14,295
Nobody's eaten my food
like that in ages.

173
00:08:14,329 --> 00:08:17,331
I don't cook much since
we moved out of reality.

174
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,002
(High-pitched droning)

175
00:08:22,036 --> 00:08:23,937
(Snoring)

176
00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:28,409
And that's how I got this scar
above my eye,

177
00:08:28,443 --> 00:08:30,411
and this fork inside my lung.

178
00:08:30,445 --> 00:08:32,245
(Chuckles) That's a doozy.

179
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,114
Hey, look at this.

180
00:08:34,148 --> 00:08:35,949
I can pull my thumb off.

181
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,585
Oh, stop, Shabba-doo,
you're freaking me out.

182
00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:40,621
Don't let him get your nose.

183
00:08:40,655 --> 00:08:42,122
(Laughter)

184
00:08:42,156 --> 00:08:43,624
(Snorts)

185
00:08:43,658 --> 00:08:44,925
Oh, lord.

186
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:46,293
(Snoring resumes)

187
00:08:46,328 --> 00:08:48,429
It's so nice
to have more family.

188
00:08:48,463 --> 00:08:49,930
All I had was the Professor,

189
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:51,965
and he's kind of crotchety
and moldy.

190
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:54,267
You should have seen
him when he was little.

191
00:08:54,302 --> 00:08:57,270
My golly, he was
crotchety and moldy.

192
00:08:57,305 --> 00:08:59,473
We miss him terribly,

193
00:08:59,507 --> 00:09:02,309
but it sure has been nice
spending time with you.

194
00:09:02,344 --> 00:09:05,011
It gets lonely and
depressing around here,

195
00:09:05,046 --> 00:09:08,449
with no entertainment
except the rigged bingo!

196
00:09:08,483 --> 00:09:10,451
Old man (Distantly):
<i>Prove it, loser!</i>

197
00:09:10,485 --> 00:09:11,952
Well, we should get going.

198
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:13,787
It was great to meet you,
though,

199
00:09:13,822 --> 00:09:16,824
and hear about how bursitis
transcends physical existence.

200
00:09:16,858 --> 00:09:19,727
(Sniffles)
Keep up with your studies, huh?

201
00:09:19,761 --> 00:09:20,994
What?

202
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:22,629
Oh, God, I'm still here?

203
00:09:24,532 --> 00:09:26,066
I'll miss you guyyyyys...

204
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:33,206
I don't think Gram-Gram
likes that place,

205
00:09:33,241 --> 00:09:35,242
and I know Shabba-don't.

206
00:09:35,276 --> 00:09:37,110
I sure wish
they could come with us.

207
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,850
(Alarm sounds)

208
00:09:42,884 --> 00:09:44,885
Guards (Chanting):
Elder abuse! Elder abuse!

209
00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:46,520
(Screaming)

210
00:09:46,554 --> 00:09:47,821
Go it! Fastly!

211
00:09:47,856 --> 00:09:49,423
(Engine whines)

212
00:09:49,457 --> 00:09:51,091
It won't start.

213
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,193
The batteries are dead.

214
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,898
I'm about to lose
history's greatest life

215
00:09:57,932 --> 00:10:00,701
all because of some
useless old people.

216
00:10:00,735 --> 00:10:02,235
They're not useless.
(Grunts)

217
00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:04,004
They can cook ham casserole...
(Grunts)

218
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:06,339
And watch TV
at incredible volume...

219
00:10:06,374 --> 00:10:08,341
(Grunts)
And they generate electricity...

220
00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:09,410
(Gasps) That's it!

221
00:10:09,444 --> 00:10:10,811
(Grunting)

222
00:10:13,581 --> 00:10:14,815
(Engine starts)

223
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:26,359
We can cut them off.

224
00:10:26,394 --> 00:10:28,228
Turn left at Miriam Feinberg.

225
00:10:29,464 --> 00:10:30,664
I meant Feingold!

226
00:10:42,777 --> 00:10:45,946
It's so nice to meet
the Professor's parents.

227
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:47,581
I'm Dr. Zoidberg.

228
00:10:47,615 --> 00:10:48,816
I'm very important.

229
00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:50,116
Leela:
Hey, Zoidberg,

230
00:10:50,151 --> 00:10:52,085
you forgot to empty
this trash can.

231
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:54,455
Don't hit me!

232
00:10:54,489 --> 00:10:57,324
I bet the Professor will be
thrilled to see you again.

233
00:10:57,358 --> 00:10:58,826
Oh, Professor.

234
00:10:58,860 --> 00:11:01,227
Some special old people
are here for you.

235
00:11:01,262 --> 00:11:03,630
Are they my zombies
from hammacher schlemmer?

236
00:11:03,665 --> 00:11:04,832
(Gasps)

237
00:11:04,866 --> 00:11:06,800
Mama? Daddy?

238
00:11:06,835 --> 00:11:09,135
Son!
Hiya, kiddo!

239
00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:11,605
Leave me alone!

240
00:11:11,639 --> 00:11:14,975
I never want to see you again!

241
00:11:15,009 --> 00:11:17,110
What crawled up his geritol?

242
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:20,514
Well, to be honest,
a few troubling things

243
00:11:20,548 --> 00:11:22,315
did happen in our past.

244
00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:25,251
Lady, all of human history
happened in your past!

245
00:11:25,286 --> 00:11:26,854
(Laughs)

246
00:11:26,888 --> 00:11:30,824
Eh, let's not let those
dark days ruin our visit.

247
00:11:30,859 --> 00:11:34,461
Philip, what do you say we go
out today and live it up?

248
00:11:34,496 --> 00:11:35,796
Live it up?

249
00:11:35,830 --> 00:11:37,764
I'd be surprised
if you live it out!

250
00:11:37,799 --> 00:11:39,633
(Laughs) Whoo!

251
00:11:39,667 --> 00:11:41,502
You're on fire!

252
00:11:41,536 --> 00:11:43,804
♪

253
00:12:00,688 --> 00:12:02,956
♪

254
00:12:16,738 --> 00:12:19,006
(laughing)

255
00:12:20,909 --> 00:12:23,544
Whoa, looks like
you guys had fun.

256
00:12:23,578 --> 00:12:25,012
Did we ever!

257
00:12:25,046 --> 00:12:26,747
Gram-Gram fell down
at the ice cream store

258
00:12:26,781 --> 00:12:28,148
and we got free ice cream!

259
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,083
Now let's all go take a nap!

260
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:31,284
(Whooping)

261
00:13:00,114 --> 00:13:03,850
Professor, Amy and I
are concerned that... oh!

262
00:13:03,885 --> 00:13:06,152
(Sobbing)

263
00:13:07,889 --> 00:13:09,957
Aw. What's wrong?

264
00:13:09,991 --> 00:13:13,193
I just want my parents
to love me.

265
00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:14,561
God, how I hate them!

266
00:13:14,596 --> 00:13:16,362
Of course they love you!

267
00:13:16,397 --> 00:13:17,965
Not like they love Fry!

268
00:13:17,999 --> 00:13:19,967
They never
played with me like that.

269
00:13:20,001 --> 00:13:21,935
They were always "too tired."

270
00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:23,870
Oh, what awful parents!

271
00:13:23,905 --> 00:13:27,040
Come closer, I'll tell you
the whole story.

272
00:13:27,075 --> 00:13:30,343
Tell you what, let's get an
opaque bubble layer going.

273
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:34,748
Okay, go.

274
00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:39,219
It all started a century
and a half ago.

275
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:42,589
<i>I had a perfectly normal</i>
<i>adolescence in new New York.</i>

276
00:13:42,624 --> 00:13:45,458
<i>But my parents were</i>
<i>simple hedge fund managers</i>

277
00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:48,261
<i>who couldn't appreciate</i>
<i>my interest in science.</i>

278
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:51,064
Mom, dad, look what I made!

279
00:13:51,099 --> 00:13:52,465
(Yawns)

280
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,901
That's wonderful, dear.

281
00:13:54,936 --> 00:13:58,805
Here you go, squeakers.

282
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:02,442
<i>I was accepted to mit</i>
<i>at the age of 14,</i>

283
00:14:02,476 --> 00:14:04,611
<i>but my parents</i>
<i>crushed my dreams</i>

284
00:14:04,646 --> 00:14:06,246
<i>like a discarded frog head!</i>

285
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,815
Honey, I'm afraid
we can't let you go.

286
00:14:08,850 --> 00:14:10,984
You're just not
emotionally mature enough

287
00:14:11,019 --> 00:14:12,485
for college yet.

288
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,354
(Mumbling): "Not mature
enough for college yet!"

289
00:14:14,388 --> 00:14:17,090
(Sobs loudly)

290
00:14:17,125 --> 00:14:19,660
<i>Worried that city life</i>
<i>was filling my head</i>

291
00:14:19,694 --> 00:14:22,029
<i>with an unhealthy</i>
<i>respect for education,</i>

292
00:14:22,063 --> 00:14:23,830
<i>my parents moved us to...</i>

293
00:14:23,865 --> 00:14:26,133
<i>A peaceful farm!</i>

294
00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:28,201
(Sobbing)

295
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,703
I think that's sweet.

296
00:14:29,737 --> 00:14:30,971
Oh, shut up!

297
00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:33,373
(Cow mooing, chickens clucking)

298
00:14:33,407 --> 00:14:36,276
You're all I have left,
squeakers.

299
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:37,610
(Bird screeches)

300
00:14:37,645 --> 00:14:39,345
(Screaming)

301
00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:41,715
Oh, God, I hated that place!

302
00:14:41,749 --> 00:14:43,216
My parents kept me
there for years!

303
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,951
So when I finally ran away,

304
00:14:44,986 --> 00:14:48,055
I vowed never to
speak to them again!

305
00:14:48,089 --> 00:14:51,725
That's a really sad
and long story, Professor.

306
00:14:51,759 --> 00:14:53,293
But you'll never get over this

307
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,895
unless you go to
your parents now

308
00:14:54,929 --> 00:14:57,130
and tell them honestly
how you feel.

309
00:14:57,165 --> 00:14:58,965
(Sniffs) You're right.

310
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,667
I will.

311
00:15:00,702 --> 00:15:04,071
Oh, I hate you,
I hate you, I hate you!

312
00:15:04,105 --> 00:15:05,572
You ruined my life!

313
00:15:05,606 --> 00:15:07,074
Good-bye!

314
00:15:07,108 --> 00:15:09,442
(Sobbing)

315
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:17,913
That is one crazy,
uncircumcised old man.

316
00:15:22,954 --> 00:15:24,489
(Door opens, Fry panting)

317
00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:27,058
I almost headed off the
Professor at the east river,

318
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,893
but the wind caught
his skin flaps

319
00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:31,196
and sent him parasailing
over the queensboro bridge.

320
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,597
Why would he go to queens?

321
00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:34,065
He doesn't need tires.

322
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,934
Our old farm was in queens.

323
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:39,704
He must've gone back there to
defile it with his nudity!

324
00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:41,272
Come on, hurry!

325
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:43,308
(Groaning painfully)

326
00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:48,313
Why are you so eager to
find the Professor, Fry?

327
00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:49,814
Aren't you mad at him?

328
00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:51,082
Of course I'm mad.

329
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,317
That's been established.

330
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:53,784
I just want to find him

331
00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:55,320
for Gram-Gram and
Shabba-doo's sake.

332
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:56,654
Who?

333
00:15:56,688 --> 00:15:58,256
Faster, faster!

334
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,491
Okay, stop short!

335
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,826
(Grunts)

336
00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:04,762
There's the old place.

337
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,399
Ned:
Hasn't changed a bit.

338
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:10,135
Put on your glasses, sweetie.

339
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,003
(Screams)

340
00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:15,640
(Hooting)

341
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:17,275
(Professor whimpering, sobbing)

342
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,510
(Gasps)

343
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:19,777
I hear something!

344
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,517
(Fry gasps)

345
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:26,951
It's the Professor!

346
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:30,321
Yes, everyone look at the freak!

347
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:33,424
His parents didn't love him,
so they kept him here,

348
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:36,827
a hundred Miles
from the nearest microscope!

349
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:38,463
Why?

350
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:39,864
Why?!

351
00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:41,266
Oh...

352
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,767
He deserves the truth, velma.

353
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:44,602
I think he's old enough
to handle it.

354
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,103
Cupcake...

355
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:48,173
We never told you this, but...

356
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,508
You had an older brother.

357
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,977
Wha...?

358
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:57,148
Velma:
<i>In many ways, he was like you.</i>

359
00:16:57,183 --> 00:17:01,052
<i>He loved science and was</i>
<i>desperate to go to college.</i>

360
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:02,887
<i>He even looked</i>
<i>a little like you.</i>

361
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:07,325
But the sad fact was...

362
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,528
Oh, how can I
put this delicately?

363
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,330
He was a crazy-ass nutjob!

364
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:13,731
Thank you, ned.

365
00:17:13,765 --> 00:17:15,333
But so what?

366
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:19,170
He was our crazy-ass nutjob,
and we loved him.

367
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,573
(Screams, groans)

368
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:24,842
Velma: <i>Every night, the poor
boy had terrors in his sleep.</i>

369
00:17:24,876 --> 00:17:27,579
<i>His pajamas would be</i>
<i>soaked with sweat.</i>

370
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:30,047
Yeah, sweat. Right.

371
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:32,917
Velma: <i>We'd stay at his
bedside all night,</i>

372
00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:36,487
<i>and whenever he'd start moaning</i>
<i>and sweating his pants,</i>

373
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:39,390
<i>we'd read to him</i>
<i>from his favorite book.</i>

374
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,926
81, thallium.

375
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,894
82, lead.

376
00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:46,331
82, bismuth.

377
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:49,267
Ned: <i>The poor little psycho never
could've survived on his own.</i>

378
00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:52,103
<i>So we kept him on</i>
<i>the farm as long as we could.</i>

379
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:55,406
Velma:
<i>But one night he ran away,</i>

380
00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:57,609
<i>taking nothing but</i>
<i>the clothes on his back.</i>

381
00:17:57,643 --> 00:18:00,678
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

382
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:03,013
(Screaming)

383
00:18:06,985 --> 00:18:10,955
Velma: <i>He was admitted to a
prestigious institution...</i>

384
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:13,424
<i>a mental institution!</i>

385
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,893
Ned: <i>Got himself a full
wackademic scholarship.</i>

386
00:18:15,927 --> 00:18:19,364
<i>And we never saw him again!</i>

387
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:22,367
We couldn't let you end up
like your older brother.

388
00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:25,803
That's why we kept you
on the farm and helped you get

389
00:18:25,837 --> 00:18:28,539
your online doctorate
in rodeo studies.

390
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,575
Rodeo studies?

391
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:33,244
We did it out of
love for you, Floyd.

392
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,813
Floyd? Who the hell's Floyd?

393
00:18:35,847 --> 00:18:37,214
I'm Hubert!

394
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,549
You're Hubert?

395
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:40,285
The older brother?

396
00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:41,619
(Gasping)

397
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,053
But... we thought

398
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:44,889
you were still in
an institution!

399
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:46,257
Oh, no, no, no, no.

400
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,593
I was out within 25 years.

401
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:51,796
It felt like a minute
compared to grad school.

402
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:54,965
Oh, hubie, we're so happy
to see you again!

403
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,233
Wait.

404
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:57,735
Was all that true?

405
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,137
Did you really sit up
with me every night?

406
00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:01,773
You bet, sport.

407
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,809
That's why we were always
too tired to play with you.

408
00:19:04,843 --> 00:19:07,111
I'm so sorry we never
got the chance.

409
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:11,115
Oh, mama!

410
00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:12,617
Daddy!

411
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,952
(Sobbing)

412
00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:17,355
(Clears throat)

413
00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:19,791
Uh, this may not
be the best time,

414
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,993
but a couple years ago,
a homeless rodeo clown

415
00:19:23,028 --> 00:19:24,829
named Floyd came to
the door claiming he was...

416
00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:26,497
Bender!

417
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:29,634
Why do you always have
to be the center of attention?

418
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,843
You're sure you want to go back
to the near-death star?

419
00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:40,678
Oh, my, yes.

420
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,314
Our muscles are sore,
our bones ache.

421
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,049
My damn skin even hurts.

422
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,517
It's no dream house,

423
00:19:46,552 --> 00:19:48,720
but we get fed
through our spines

424
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,788
and the rent is reasonable.

425
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:54,726
Don't worry.

426
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,794
I'll come back
and visit sometime.

427
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,363
How about December,

428
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,131
when they inject the holidays
into our brains?

429
00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:03,234
That sounds nice, Gram-Gram.

430
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:04,702
Well, son,

431
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,738
I guess this is
good-bye again.

432
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:08,205
Not quite yet.

433
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,074
I took the liberty
of reprogramming

434
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:11,676
your retirement simulation.

435
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,012
Why don't I come in
for a moment

436
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:16,347
and show you around?

437
00:20:25,056 --> 00:20:27,558
Good virtual God!

438
00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:29,260
It's our old farm!

439
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:31,262
It's beautiful!

440
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:35,266
Appearances... just a simple
matter of appearances.

441
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,001
Speaking of which...

442
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:39,804
(Gasps)

443
00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:43,173
Velma:
My boy!

444
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,410
My beautiful boy!

445
00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:47,512
One last chance to play...

446
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:49,280
if you're not too tired?

447
00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:52,249
Not too tired to chase you,
you cute little nutjob!

448
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,051
Come on, velma!

449
00:20:54,085 --> 00:20:55,553
Someone needs tickles!
I'm gonna get you!

450
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,388
Here I come!
(Laughing)

451
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,791
I almost got you!
Come here, you.

452
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:04,562
Sync and corrections by Tony for
www.Addic7ed.Com

