1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:01,557
<i>Previously on "Weeds"...</i>

2
00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:04,038
What kind of stank strain
you brewin' over there?

3
00:00:04,072 --> 00:00:05,474
You want to see
how ours match up?

4
00:00:05,509 --> 00:00:06,742
Who's got the munchies?

5
00:00:06,777 --> 00:00:07,977
63! 63!

6
00:00:08,012 --> 00:00:09,546
Who won?

7
00:00:09,580 --> 00:00:11,180
Show me your plant.

8
00:00:12,015 --> 00:00:13,816
You look cute in that jumpsuit.

9
00:00:13,851 --> 00:00:15,853
I thought this job
was gonna be fun.

10
00:00:15,887 --> 00:00:17,655
I'm your new director
of spiritual life, moreh Andy.

11
00:00:17,690 --> 00:00:20,926
And this is
afternoon discussion time.

12
00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:22,929
Your foundation
was granted a license

13
00:00:22,964 --> 00:00:24,832
to operate a facility
for the homeless of this county.

14
00:00:24,866 --> 00:00:26,200
You have 48 hours.

15
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:27,702
Without tenants
like yourself,

16
00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:29,906
the state inspector
will shut us down.

17
00:00:29,940 --> 00:00:31,040
Boo!

18
00:00:31,075 --> 00:00:32,375
Does that sound pretty good?

19
00:00:33,477 --> 00:00:34,511
Not pregnant.

20
00:00:34,546 --> 00:00:36,080
Andy.
You need to tell him.

21
00:00:36,114 --> 00:00:37,582
You know he'll leave me.

22
00:00:37,616 --> 00:00:39,518
You were off somewhere
not being pregnant.

23
00:00:39,552 --> 00:00:41,688
It's menopause, Andy.
It's not a choice.

24
00:00:41,722 --> 00:00:42,923
You lied.

25
00:00:42,957 --> 00:00:44,759
I'm a rabbi.

26
00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:45,860
So?

27
00:00:45,894 --> 00:00:49,130
I see you -- up there,
watching me.

28
00:00:49,164 --> 00:00:50,731
You know,
that night by the pool,

29
00:00:50,766 --> 00:00:51,399
I really wanted to kiss you.

30
00:00:53,035 --> 00:01:01,793
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync by honeybunny</font>
Corrections by gloriabg
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

31
00:01:55,876 --> 00:01:57,677
A raccoon?

32
00:01:57,711 --> 00:02:00,013
Well, shit fire
and save the matches.

33
00:02:00,048 --> 00:02:01,349
I wish I could have seen that.

34
00:02:01,383 --> 00:02:02,383
Mom?

35
00:02:04,186 --> 00:02:06,421
Crick Montgomery, ma'am.

36
00:02:06,455 --> 00:02:08,490
Oh, who are you?

37
00:02:08,524 --> 00:02:10,359
He's from a tobacco company.

38
00:02:10,393 --> 00:02:13,362
I can show you a business card
if you'd like.

39
00:02:13,397 --> 00:02:15,365
Silas, can I speak with you
a second?

40
00:02:19,771 --> 00:02:21,037
Tobacco?

41
00:02:21,072 --> 00:02:23,040
He wants me to grow for him.

44
00:02:25,878 --> 00:02:27,545
It's this new idea
they're developing.

45
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,714
Still in the early phases,
obviously.

46
00:02:29,748 --> 00:02:31,382
Okay, uh...

47
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:36,855
Tobacco doesn't speak to Silas.
You can talk to me. Capiche?

48
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:37,990
Mom?

49
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:39,959
No. No. No. She's right.
Forgot my manners.

50
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,961
That said, Mrs. Botwin,

51
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:44,197
you and I both care
about the same thing.

52
00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:46,366
Sweet tea?
Debutante balls?

53
00:02:46,401 --> 00:02:48,369
Making sure Johnny Appleseed
over here

54
00:02:48,403 --> 00:02:50,304
doesn't end up
playing for the wrong team.

55
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:51,772
Right, and let me guess.
You're the right team?

56
00:02:51,807 --> 00:02:54,609
Well, between nerd scientists
hamstrung by the FDA

57
00:02:54,644 --> 00:02:56,946
and cowboy capitalists
with a two-century history

58
00:02:56,980 --> 00:02:58,781
of growing,
rolling, and distributing?

59
00:02:58,815 --> 00:03:00,883
I know which pony <i>I'd</i> ride.

60
00:03:02,151 --> 00:03:07,391
Silas is very happy where he is.

61
00:03:07,425 --> 00:03:10,395
Tell him...
that you're...

62
00:03:10,429 --> 00:03:12,397
I <i>was</i> happy.

63
00:03:12,431 --> 00:03:14,766
Until I saw a machine
eat my plant

64
00:03:14,801 --> 00:03:19,938
after being beaten and drowned
in magnesium benzo-something.

65
00:03:19,972 --> 00:03:22,774
Look, why don't I just
leave these with you?

66
00:03:22,809 --> 00:03:25,777
Two tickets, first class,
flying out of Kennedy tomorrow.

67
00:03:25,812 --> 00:03:28,514
We'd love for both of you
to come down and check us out.

68
00:03:28,548 --> 00:03:31,784
I'll just let myself out.

69
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,053
You're phenomenally gifted,

70
00:03:35,088 --> 00:03:36,722
but your talents are
being wasted at Smithjohnson.

71
00:03:36,756 --> 00:03:39,625
I think we can offer you
a heck of a lot more.

72
00:03:43,163 --> 00:03:44,997
North Carolina.

73
00:03:45,032 --> 00:03:46,699
Too hot this time of year.

74
00:03:49,737 --> 00:03:51,704
Here you go.

75
00:03:51,739 --> 00:03:53,539
Thanks.

76
00:03:55,809 --> 00:03:57,609
I used to smoke in college.

77
00:03:57,643 --> 00:04:00,112
Would they make me move
to North Carolina?

78
00:04:00,146 --> 00:04:01,946
I'd have to work on one
of those plantations?

79
00:04:01,981 --> 00:04:03,448
Not unless you want to.

80
00:04:03,482 --> 00:04:05,783
We'll bring that up
at the meeting,

81
00:04:05,817 --> 00:04:07,818
whatever you want to bring up.

82
00:04:07,853 --> 00:04:09,987
Do they even have
plantations anymore?

83
00:04:11,589 --> 00:04:13,222
You seem anxious.

84
00:04:13,257 --> 00:04:16,224
No -- no!
I'm excited for you.

85
00:04:16,258 --> 00:04:18,058
Right?

86
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:19,993
It's like I'm some athlete
being recruited --

87
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:22,494
first class
and a limo out to the airport.

88
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,362
You're the talent.
Remember that.

89
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:27,164
I know.

90
00:04:27,198 --> 00:04:29,631
So, <i>you</i> make the demands,
not them.

91
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:34,468
Just think about it.

92
00:04:34,502 --> 00:04:37,337
Weed sold commercially.

93
00:04:37,371 --> 00:04:43,008
<i>My</i> strain in every Walmart,
gas station,

94
00:04:43,042 --> 00:04:45,643
every Five-and-Dime,
Mom-and-Pop corner drugstore

95
00:04:45,678 --> 00:04:47,445
from New Haven to Sacramento.

96
00:04:49,115 --> 00:04:51,416
I need you to support me.

97
00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:53,184
Of course I support you.

98
00:04:53,219 --> 00:04:56,654
Look at me -- here on this plane
supporting you.

99
00:04:56,689 --> 00:04:58,890
I mean... today.

100
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:02,559
Today is gonna be
totally about you.

101
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:05,061
Okay? I won't even speak
if you don't want me to.

102
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:09,700
I'll just, like, gesture
with those baseball signals.

103
00:05:09,734 --> 00:05:11,368
Whatever you want.

104
00:05:14,906 --> 00:05:16,539
Ooh.

105
00:05:16,574 --> 00:05:18,708
Do you think
they have those sundaes?

106
00:05:18,742 --> 00:05:19,943
Stewardess?

107
00:05:19,977 --> 00:05:22,812
Steward-- stewardess?

108
00:05:31,756 --> 00:05:33,757
Time for work...

109
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:36,994
My little parking attendant.

110
00:05:40,466 --> 00:05:42,433
I heard he did it
under the ark.

111
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,603
I heard the eternal flame
flickered off and then back on.

112
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,104
- Nuh-unh.
- Uh-huh.

113
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:50,040
He totally boned her so hard
the walls shook.

114
00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:53,711
Hey! Who boned who?

115
00:05:53,745 --> 00:05:54,945
You didn't hear?

116
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,614
Rabbi Dave totally
diddled a goy.

117
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,216
Okay.
Oka-- that's enough.

118
00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:00,951
Allen Royce was supposed
to go over his haftorah

119
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,353
with the rabbi.

120
00:06:02,387 --> 00:06:04,455
And when he showed up,
the door was locked

121
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,457
and he could hear everything.

122
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,125
Mm-hmm.

123
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,961
Oh, hello.
Look, it's your mother.

124
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,429
Bye, Jonah.

125
00:06:11,463 --> 00:06:13,130
L'hitraot.

126
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,637
She's always late.

127
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,372
It's cool.
We can wait.

128
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,745
Are you expecting anyone?

129
00:06:27,779 --> 00:06:29,279
All right.
I'm gonna get the door.

130
00:06:29,314 --> 00:06:32,683
Don't stab me in the back.

131
00:06:32,717 --> 00:06:34,685
Oh, thank goodness.

132
00:06:34,719 --> 00:06:36,653
I thought this address
was a joke.

133
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:39,089
Jordan Kovnot,
Edgewood shelter in New Haven.

134
00:06:39,123 --> 00:06:42,025
Doug Wilson,
Douglas S. Wilson Foundation.

135
00:06:42,059 --> 00:06:43,226
Oh.

136
00:06:43,260 --> 00:06:45,028
Just ignore the urine-jar lady
back there.

137
00:06:45,062 --> 00:06:46,997
But let know if she
makes a move this way.

138
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,833
- Uh, this is where you do intake?
- Yeah.

139
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:52,736
Well, obviously, it's
a slow day today, but, uh...

140
00:06:52,770 --> 00:06:55,705
Are you -- are you
seeking shelter yourself, or...?

141
00:06:55,740 --> 00:06:59,142
That's cute, Mr. Wilson.
Oh, this is Jeff.

142
00:06:59,177 --> 00:07:00,878
Jeff's had a bit
of a rough patch,

143
00:07:00,912 --> 00:07:02,045
but he's got
a big interview tomorrow,

144
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,547
Bloomies men's department.

145
00:07:03,581 --> 00:07:05,549
Fingers crossed.

146
00:07:05,583 --> 00:07:09,386
Rudy. Rudy shot two families
and a goat in Iraq.

147
00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:11,888
And he wasn't even there
for the war.

148
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:16,860
Oh, how many Rudys
you got out here?

149
00:07:18,362 --> 00:07:19,829
That many?

150
00:07:19,863 --> 00:07:22,966
Combined overflow from Hartford,
Stamford, West Haven,

151
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,635
Danbury, Bridgeport, Norwalk...

152
00:07:25,669 --> 00:07:27,837
Oh, and I trust
you know the new rules?

153
00:07:27,871 --> 00:07:29,972
You have to take whoever comes
in, maintain 85% occupancy.

154
00:07:30,007 --> 00:07:33,910
DSS will be checking --
weekly.

155
00:07:33,944 --> 00:07:35,912
Oh, Jesus.

156
00:07:35,946 --> 00:07:37,914
Yeah, I'm all over it.
I'm on it, yeah.

157
00:07:37,948 --> 00:07:40,650
New rules. Got it.
85%.

158
00:07:40,684 --> 00:07:43,887
Oh, shit.

159
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:46,322
Said she was carrying
our imaginary child

160
00:07:46,357 --> 00:07:49,226
and then hopped a plane
back to Oakland,

161
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,528
so now I got nothing --
no future, no progeny,

162
00:07:51,563 --> 00:07:55,065
no holding an infant in the palm
of my hand like an eggplant.

163
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:59,035
What's up with your mom?
She doesn't own a watch?

164
00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:03,604
She just got re-married
to a 29-year-old day trader.

165
00:08:03,639 --> 00:08:07,007
Let's see if rabbi Dave
can find you a ride.

166
00:08:09,911 --> 00:08:11,545
Oh, hang on.

167
00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:13,047
Doing some gardening?

168
00:08:13,081 --> 00:08:15,884
Oh. Hey.

169
00:08:15,918 --> 00:08:17,619
Hey.

170
00:08:17,653 --> 00:08:19,488
Uh, Matthew's mom
forgot to pick him up.

171
00:08:19,522 --> 00:08:21,756
Oh, also, just as a heads up...

172
00:08:21,791 --> 00:08:24,760
...kids are spreading rumors

173
00:08:24,794 --> 00:08:28,965
about you diddling someone
under the ark.

174
00:08:28,999 --> 00:08:32,068
It was in my office.
It wasn't under the ark.

175
00:08:32,102 --> 00:08:36,205
Oh, wow. Okay, wow.
Well, way to go, rabbi.

176
00:08:36,239 --> 00:08:40,308
Um... Nancy.

177
00:08:40,342 --> 00:08:41,642
Sorry?

178
00:08:41,677 --> 00:08:44,144
I, um...

179
00:08:44,179 --> 00:08:47,547
was with Nancy.

180
00:08:49,884 --> 00:08:52,184
How did...?
Huh, well, okay.

181
00:08:52,219 --> 00:08:54,820
Na--
Was it Nancy, Nancy?

182
00:08:54,855 --> 00:08:56,956
I'm so sorry.

183
00:08:56,990 --> 00:08:59,292
No, no, no, no, no.
No need.

184
00:08:59,326 --> 00:09:01,962
Um, wow.

185
00:09:01,996 --> 00:09:03,797
Would not have expected that.

186
00:09:03,831 --> 00:09:06,233
Uh, who's Gabby?

187
00:09:06,267 --> 00:09:07,935
My wife -- late.
Late wife.

188
00:09:07,969 --> 00:09:09,303
I planted this for her.

189
00:09:09,337 --> 00:09:11,305
A pear tree -- was.

190
00:09:11,339 --> 00:09:13,774
No!
I'd rather walk home!

191
00:09:13,809 --> 00:09:17,912
I'd rather die than
to have Cody pick me up!

192
00:09:20,449 --> 00:09:23,450
I think this crew
could use some pancakes.

193
00:09:35,863 --> 00:09:37,597
Hush puppies and pulled pork.

194
00:09:37,632 --> 00:09:40,467
Slow-cooked over hickory and oak.
Local delicacies.

195
00:09:40,501 --> 00:09:45,138
I thought smoking
was outlawed in restaurants.

196
00:09:45,173 --> 00:09:47,307
Well, Durham has
a long tradition

197
00:09:47,342 --> 00:09:49,977
of rebelling against authority.

198
00:09:50,012 --> 00:09:52,480
Plus, this is an industry town.

199
00:09:52,514 --> 00:09:54,515
Just about everyone here
is connected to tobacco --

200
00:09:54,549 --> 00:09:56,617
if not them, their parents,
their neighbors.

201
00:09:56,652 --> 00:09:58,319
Their failing health.

202
00:09:58,353 --> 00:10:00,921
Who do you think pays state
children's health insurance?

203
00:10:02,224 --> 00:10:04,291
We give millions
in tax dollars.

204
00:10:04,326 --> 00:10:07,694
Perk of being America's most
lucrative cash crop per acre.

205
00:10:07,729 --> 00:10:09,363
You know what else
is lucrative?

206
00:10:09,397 --> 00:10:11,732
Crack cocaine.

207
00:10:11,766 --> 00:10:14,334
You were saying you wanted
to take us on a tour?

208
00:10:14,369 --> 00:10:16,336
Yes!
Right after lunch.

209
00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:18,204
We'll tour the fields,
the barns.

210
00:10:18,239 --> 00:10:19,873
If you have any questions --

211
00:10:19,907 --> 00:10:21,741
- I have a question.
- Not surprised.

212
00:10:21,776 --> 00:10:24,044
- Slavery.
- Was a long time ago.

213
00:10:24,078 --> 00:10:26,179
Not that long.

214
00:10:26,213 --> 00:10:28,248
Also, I heard
about this Indonesian baby

215
00:10:28,282 --> 00:10:30,417
that smokes
like 10 packs a day.

216
00:10:30,451 --> 00:10:31,885
It's a fat baby

217
00:10:31,919 --> 00:10:33,820
that's literally like
chain-smoking.

218
00:10:33,854 --> 00:10:37,156
Look, tobacco's made mistakes.

219
00:10:37,191 --> 00:10:40,326
We have a complicated past.

220
00:10:40,361 --> 00:10:43,663
My father ran this company
for 45 years

221
00:10:43,698 --> 00:10:46,332
like an old-school
robber baron.

222
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:49,736
But I want to modernize,
diversify, find new markets,

223
00:10:49,770 --> 00:10:51,704
clean up our ingredient list.

224
00:10:51,739 --> 00:10:53,839
Internationally,
we're doing great.

225
00:10:53,874 --> 00:10:57,576
But domestically,
we need a new playbook.

226
00:10:57,611 --> 00:10:59,445
Weed.

227
00:10:59,479 --> 00:11:01,046
Exactly.

228
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:04,483
You know, it's actually cheaper
to grow weed than tobacco,

229
00:11:04,517 --> 00:11:06,118
yet people pay more for it.

230
00:11:06,152 --> 00:11:07,886
You've done your homework.

231
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,420
Um, I'm sorry.

232
00:11:09,455 --> 00:11:13,557
How are you gonna grow weed
if it's still illegal?

233
00:11:13,592 --> 00:11:15,893
'Cause that's the part
I'm confused about.

234
00:11:15,927 --> 00:11:17,962
Can we let him talk?

235
00:11:17,996 --> 00:11:22,433
I want to show you guys
something.

236
00:11:31,744 --> 00:11:33,378
Y'all are gonna love this.

237
00:11:33,413 --> 00:11:35,547
Kemo Sabes.

238
00:11:35,581 --> 00:11:37,249
We've already designed
the packs,

239
00:11:37,283 --> 00:11:38,450
just need the product
to go inside.

240
00:11:38,484 --> 00:11:40,886
Very... retro-looking.

241
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,054
That's 'cause
the logo's from the '70s,

242
00:11:43,089 --> 00:11:44,789
back when it first looked like
weed was gonna be legalized.

243
00:11:44,824 --> 00:11:47,659
Now, we even came up with
an urban brand called "Cliffs."

244
00:11:48,928 --> 00:11:50,995
Urban meaning...

245
00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:53,098
Uh, African-Americans.

246
00:11:53,132 --> 00:11:55,934
It's a smart idea --
weed cigarettes.

247
00:11:55,968 --> 00:11:57,803
But the name... sucks.

248
00:11:57,837 --> 00:12:01,240
Kemo Sabes, chemotherapy.

249
00:12:03,545 --> 00:12:04,945
Fuck a duck.

250
00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:06,680
Maybe we should hire you,
too, right?

251
00:12:06,715 --> 00:12:09,183
I'd love to see the labs.

252
00:12:09,218 --> 00:12:10,518
Funny thing.

253
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,854
That's not exactly possible
right now.

254
00:12:13,889 --> 00:12:15,756
- Why?
- Why not?

255
00:12:15,790 --> 00:12:17,758
'Cause there are no labs.

256
00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:20,427
There's basically
just this cardboard box

257
00:12:20,461 --> 00:12:24,764
and a sackful of money sitting
in an offshore bank account.

258
00:12:24,799 --> 00:12:25,932
Surprise!

259
00:12:25,967 --> 00:12:27,333
I-I don't understand.

260
00:12:27,368 --> 00:12:30,437
Since, as your mother
so wisely noted,

261
00:12:30,471 --> 00:12:31,939
weed isn't legal yet.

262
00:12:31,973 --> 00:12:34,942
We can't officially
kick off our R&D.

263
00:12:34,976 --> 00:12:37,612
Pharma can,
in the name of medical research,

264
00:12:37,646 --> 00:12:39,280
but we're recreational.

265
00:12:39,315 --> 00:12:41,283
Hence, underground.

266
00:12:41,317 --> 00:12:43,018
Hush-hush.

267
00:12:43,052 --> 00:12:44,853
So, then there are others
that you're approaching?

268
00:12:44,888 --> 00:12:46,389
Yes.

269
00:12:46,423 --> 00:12:49,959
So the minute pot becomes legal,
we can hit the ground running.

270
00:12:49,994 --> 00:12:52,462
And what if -- if --
Silas gets caught?

271
00:12:52,496 --> 00:12:55,499
Then this meeting
never happened.

272
00:12:55,533 --> 00:12:58,168
- Right. Back to the airport.
- Mom.

273
00:12:58,203 --> 00:13:00,504
No, sorry --
Not in a chance in hell

274
00:13:00,538 --> 00:13:04,174
you're taking a risk like that
for a big tobacco company.

275
00:13:04,209 --> 00:13:06,943
If they want to do underground
black ops, whatever.

276
00:13:06,978 --> 00:13:09,179
Let 'em prey on
other people's children.

277
00:13:09,213 --> 00:13:10,480
What happened to supporting me?

278
00:13:10,515 --> 00:13:11,681
I <i>am.</i>

279
00:13:13,517 --> 00:13:14,484
No, you're not.

280
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:17,920
Excuse me.

281
00:13:22,726 --> 00:13:24,861
Hey! Come on!

282
00:13:24,895 --> 00:13:26,830
We're men.
We're resilient.

283
00:13:26,864 --> 00:13:28,131
My mom married a dick.

284
00:13:28,165 --> 00:13:29,866
At least she's still alive.

285
00:13:29,901 --> 00:13:31,602
Oh, whoa.
A little dark there, rabbi.

286
00:13:32,971 --> 00:13:35,839
I-I just feel -- I feel
like I cheated on her.

287
00:13:35,873 --> 00:13:38,175
You did not. You can't cheat
on a dead person.

288
00:13:38,209 --> 00:13:40,143
And there's no covenant
in judaism

289
00:13:40,178 --> 00:13:43,013
forbidding you from playing
a little Romeo, right?

290
00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:45,883
As long as it's not
with a child or a donkey

291
00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:48,618
or a gibeonite,
according to Deuteronomy.

292
00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:51,788
If <i>my</i> wife died,
I'd date people.

293
00:13:51,822 --> 00:13:54,524
How can I provide moral guidance
if I myself have transgressed?

294
00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,194
Here's how.
Because you're a man --

295
00:13:57,228 --> 00:14:01,365
flawed, troubled,
but trying, striving.

296
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:04,868
And when you get past this,
which you will, you'll go back

297
00:14:04,902 --> 00:14:09,973
to being the same scholarly,
poker-faced rabbi Dave

298
00:14:10,007 --> 00:14:13,210
that we all know and love...
And fear, a little bit.

299
00:14:13,244 --> 00:14:17,381
Here we go. Silver dollar
with whipped cream and nutella.

300
00:14:17,416 --> 00:14:19,951
Omelet
with Swiss and scallions.

301
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:24,122
And double blueberry tall stack,
extra blueberries.

302
00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:26,191
Oh, uh, I didn't order
blueberries.

303
00:14:26,225 --> 00:14:27,960
Oh, yeah, but they're in season.
You don't want to miss 'em.

304
00:14:31,197 --> 00:14:34,634
All right. Your turn.
Let's talk about Cody.

305
00:14:34,668 --> 00:14:36,936
Um, he farts a lot.

306
00:14:36,970 --> 00:14:40,072
Mm-hmm.
Let's find the silver lining.

307
00:14:40,107 --> 00:14:41,841
Hmm, yeah.
You're one to talk.

308
00:14:41,875 --> 00:14:43,342
I mean, you just got dumped,
and here you are

309
00:14:43,376 --> 00:14:46,912
pretending life is full
of sunshine and rainbows.

310
00:14:46,947 --> 00:14:47,947
Jill left?

311
00:14:47,981 --> 00:14:51,283
Um, yeah, but, I mean...

312
00:14:51,318 --> 00:14:52,885
That was never gonna work.

313
00:14:52,919 --> 00:14:54,787
Andy, Andy, I would never
have burdened you

314
00:14:54,821 --> 00:14:56,455
with my self-doubt had I known.

315
00:14:56,489 --> 00:14:57,990
Please, tell us about it.

316
00:14:58,024 --> 00:14:59,691
Oh, fuck. Again?

317
00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:00,993
Hey.

318
00:15:01,027 --> 00:15:02,094
Sorry, rabbi.

319
00:15:14,242 --> 00:15:16,209
Smoking will kill you, you know.

320
00:15:17,312 --> 00:15:19,847
You scared me.

321
00:15:19,881 --> 00:15:22,182
Well, it's my house.

322
00:15:22,217 --> 00:15:24,985
So technically, I should be
the one who's spooked right now.

323
00:15:26,521 --> 00:15:27,988
You need a light for that?

324
00:15:29,890 --> 00:15:33,693
Even with the tank,
you still...

325
00:15:33,727 --> 00:15:36,162
No, no.
I gave it up eons ago.

326
00:15:37,698 --> 00:15:40,233
You're the one who killed
those millions of people.

327
00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:43,837
Their choice, not mine.

328
00:15:43,871 --> 00:15:47,007
I don't smoke.

329
00:15:47,041 --> 00:15:49,309
Let me guess.

330
00:15:49,343 --> 00:15:53,680
My son Crick brought you
out here to talk Kemo Sabes.

331
00:15:53,714 --> 00:15:57,484
Marijuana,
tobacco's final frontier.

332
00:15:57,518 --> 00:15:59,186
You must be very proud of him.

333
00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:00,921
Are you kidding?

334
00:16:00,955 --> 00:16:05,993
He's a yankee big shot,
pitching crackpot ideas

335
00:16:06,027 --> 00:16:09,329
for a company
that's been workin' fine

336
00:16:09,364 --> 00:16:12,833
for three generations.

337
00:16:12,868 --> 00:16:14,668
But...

338
00:16:14,703 --> 00:16:18,206
we got to pass down
our legacies to... someone.

339
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:22,845
I like the South --
legacies, tradition.

340
00:16:22,879 --> 00:16:26,515
We don't have that up north.

341
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:31,187
We have sarcasm
and iced coffee.

342
00:16:31,221 --> 00:16:33,856
My son...

343
00:16:33,890 --> 00:16:38,527
...he wants to grow
and make mistakes.

344
00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:41,030
My daddy had this phrase.

345
00:16:41,064 --> 00:16:42,698
"You got to bend the saplin'

346
00:16:42,732 --> 00:16:45,735
for it to grow up to be
a proper tree."

347
00:16:45,769 --> 00:16:50,606
Funny thing.
My saplin' don't bend.

348
00:16:50,641 --> 00:16:52,075
Mine won't either.

349
00:16:53,677 --> 00:16:58,547
Live in the same house, but we
haven't spoken for two years.

350
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,989
So what,
that I can't throw a spiral?

351
00:17:08,023 --> 00:17:09,724
Gender roles are changing.

352
00:17:09,759 --> 00:17:12,127
I think I'd make
a really good father.

353
00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:13,294
I could see that.

354
00:17:13,329 --> 00:17:15,096
- Really? - Yeah.
- Stop.

355
00:17:15,131 --> 00:17:17,566
You're a beautiful
human being, Andy.

356
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,168
Y-y-y-you have a gorgeous,
pulpy heart.

357
00:17:20,203 --> 00:17:22,237
Why do I always feel
like you're hitting on me?

358
00:17:22,271 --> 00:17:24,640
Yeah, he's right.
You're like a care bear.

359
00:17:24,674 --> 00:17:27,075
Sick of waiting
for my life to begin.

360
00:17:27,109 --> 00:17:29,210
Like I'm in perpetual purgatory.

361
00:17:29,245 --> 00:17:30,812
You ever feel like that?

362
00:17:30,846 --> 00:17:33,749
Mm, purgatory's --
it's a Roman catholic belief.

363
00:17:33,783 --> 00:17:35,017
You and Nancy.

364
00:17:35,051 --> 00:17:37,285
That happened so fast.

365
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,387
Too fast.

366
00:17:38,421 --> 00:17:40,122
Maybe, maybe not.

367
00:17:40,156 --> 00:17:42,057
Maybe everyone just
needs to jump in.

368
00:17:42,091 --> 00:17:43,325
Look at me.

369
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:45,394
Soon, I'm gonna hit
male menopause.

370
00:17:45,428 --> 00:17:48,997
I'm gonna be drooling during
the day, not even just at night.

371
00:17:49,032 --> 00:17:52,167
Whoa, Andy. My advice?
You need to forget about Jill.

372
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:54,302
Maybe --
maybe try dating someone

373
00:17:54,337 --> 00:17:56,605
who you're not
distantly related to.

374
00:17:56,639 --> 00:17:57,873
Hmm.

375
00:17:57,907 --> 00:17:59,708
You know, we have singles night
every Wednesday.

376
00:17:59,742 --> 00:18:01,276
I could sign you up.

377
00:18:01,310 --> 00:18:03,512
Jesus Christ.

378
00:18:03,546 --> 00:18:05,714
And you, mister. We got to get you home.
We'll talk in the car.

379
00:18:05,748 --> 00:18:08,384
Hey.

380
00:18:08,418 --> 00:18:10,452
I don't know
if I should say this, but...

381
00:18:10,487 --> 00:18:14,490
I don't think Nancy's loved
anyone since Judah died --

382
00:18:14,524 --> 00:18:17,426
like truly, emotionally loved someone,
for what it's worth.

383
00:18:19,062 --> 00:18:22,031
Well, do you think
she's capable?

384
00:18:22,066 --> 00:18:24,534
Hmm.
I have no idea.

385
00:18:24,568 --> 00:18:26,636
<i>She</i> probably has no idea,
or she has an idea, but...

386
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,705
What she really needs

387
00:18:28,739 --> 00:18:31,708
is the exact opposite
of her idea --

388
00:18:31,742 --> 00:18:40,717
someone smart and warm,
even-keeled, romantic...

389
00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:42,252
kind to strangers...

390
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,888
old people...

391
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:48,358
great smile...

392
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:53,898
Thank you.

393
00:19:08,079 --> 00:19:09,446
Just a second.

394
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:11,782
Want a ride?

395
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:15,352
Why is your car on fake fire?

396
00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:16,854
'Cause it's badass --

397
00:19:16,888 --> 00:19:18,989
Goes from 0 to 60
in less than 3.7 seconds.

398
00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:21,391
I think --
I haven't really floored it yet.

399
00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:23,861
You stole from the impound lot?

400
00:19:23,895 --> 00:19:25,229
Borrowed.

401
00:19:25,263 --> 00:19:27,164
One of the perks
of being a parking attendant.

402
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:30,568
You getting in or not?

403
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:31,769
I really shouldn't.

404
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,137
Come on.

405
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,640
Can't a guy take his girlfriend
for a joy ride?

406
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,909
I brought shake shack.

407
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:40,245
Okay. One hour.
That's it.

408
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,593
What are you doing in a barn?

409
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,829
It's a curing barn.

410
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,931
Oh, a-are you cured?

411
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:09,641
Don't be mad at me
for trying to protect you.

412
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:13,312
From what?
Actually liking my job?

413
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:16,648
Uh, from getting involved
with powerful people

414
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:19,817
who don't care about you.

415
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,419
At least pharma's medical,
helps people.

416
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:26,256
Come on.
Weed is not medicine.

417
00:20:26,290 --> 00:20:29,493
I am so fucking sick
of pretending like...

418
00:20:29,527 --> 00:20:35,165
I grow an illegal
and awesomely fun drug,

419
00:20:35,199 --> 00:20:38,334
which I do not
feel guilty about.

420
00:20:38,368 --> 00:20:40,203
Maybe you do, but I don't.

421
00:20:40,237 --> 00:20:42,371
And I don't want to grow it
in some lab

422
00:20:42,406 --> 00:20:47,110
pretending it's some cure
for nausea or anorexia

423
00:20:47,144 --> 00:20:50,779
or in the garage
like it's a hobby.

424
00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:54,450
I want to do it for real, send
my product out into the world.

425
00:20:54,485 --> 00:20:57,788
And if that means teaming up
with some, whatever,

426
00:20:57,822 --> 00:21:01,124
sketchy Southern tobacco company,

427
00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:02,760
then that's what I want to do.

428
00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:07,498
W-when I sold,
I drew lines.

429
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:09,067
What lines?
It's weed.

430
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,036
No kids.

431
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,104
If you think
that when you sell a brick,

432
00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:15,507
pieces of it don't end up
in fucking high schools...

433
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:19,678
Tobacco, uh, has a -- a history
of advertising to children.

434
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:20,846
You're kidding yourself.

435
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,581
I know who I am.

436
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,216
So do I.

437
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:31,490
I know you're an adult,
but I'm still your mother.

438
00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:34,092
And I'm worried about you
and your future,

439
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,428
not tobacco's future
or pot's future.

440
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:37,531
I...

441
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:42,601
And this place,
it -- it's freaky.

442
00:21:42,736 --> 00:21:44,504
I just met Crick's father
on the porch.

443
00:21:44,538 --> 00:21:48,508
They haven't spoken
in two years!

444
00:21:48,543 --> 00:21:50,410
And I'm hot.

445
00:21:50,444 --> 00:21:52,612
This barn smells.

446
00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:55,448
And, you don't...

447
00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:58,151
...want move to North Carolina.

448
00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:17,269
Can we go back in the house now?

449
00:22:23,777 --> 00:22:25,244
Where are the meals?

450
00:22:25,278 --> 00:22:27,079
Where are the beds at?

451
00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:28,213
I have to poop.

452
00:22:28,248 --> 00:22:29,715
I got snacks right here.

453
00:22:29,750 --> 00:22:31,050
There's a bathroom
down on the first floor.

454
00:22:31,084 --> 00:22:32,318
That bathroom needs a key.

455
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:33,852
I lost the key, okay?

456
00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:35,720
Hey, no one leaves.
You got to stay here!

457
00:22:35,754 --> 00:22:38,423
Hey! Hey!
I need 85% occupancy!

458
00:22:38,457 --> 00:22:41,793
You're at 83.7.
I did the math.

459
00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:43,294
This is bullshit.

460
00:22:43,329 --> 00:22:45,330
This is a fucking office.
It's not a shelter.

461
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,365
Well, what if I lay down some
yoga mats, light some incense.

462
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,267
You think
you're the first person

463
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:50,769
who's tried to scam
the homeless?

464
00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:52,371
Last week, some guy

465
00:22:52,405 --> 00:22:54,740
tried to turn me into
a fucking human Wi-Fi hotspot.

466
00:22:54,774 --> 00:22:56,742
"Can you strap this wireless
transmitter to your chest

467
00:22:56,776 --> 00:22:58,210
and walk around?"

468
00:22:58,244 --> 00:23:01,280
Of course I can.
Why? Because I'm vulnerable.

469
00:23:01,314 --> 00:23:04,950
Because I'm seen as a fucking object
instead of a human being!

470
00:23:04,985 --> 00:23:06,451
Because I live in a country

471
00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:07,986
that doesn't believe
in social welfare

472
00:23:08,021 --> 00:23:09,821
and thinks that anyone
who needs a little help

473
00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:13,425
is a teat-sucking sloth junkie
with shit for brains

474
00:23:13,459 --> 00:23:15,927
and fucking cocksucker --
sucking --

475
00:23:15,962 --> 00:23:17,462
Get it out. Get it out.

476
00:23:17,496 --> 00:23:18,963
Oh! Boobies!

477
00:23:18,998 --> 00:23:21,632
Okay. Okay.
Now I know why you're homeless.

478
00:23:21,667 --> 00:23:22,834
I'm gonna report you.

479
00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:23,968
Wha...?

480
00:23:24,002 --> 00:23:25,602
You are going to jail,
shithead.

481
00:23:25,637 --> 00:23:27,170
Mm-hmm.
Send him to jail!

482
00:23:27,205 --> 00:23:28,605
Jail! Jail! Jail! Jail!

483
00:23:28,639 --> 00:23:30,807
Wait! Wait! Wait!
I can handle this!

484
00:23:30,842 --> 00:23:33,143
All right, hold on a second!
You need things, right?

485
00:23:33,177 --> 00:23:35,211
I got a credit card, yeah.

486
00:23:35,245 --> 00:23:36,846
You tell Uncle Doug
what you want.

487
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:37,880
You just shout it out.
Go ahead.

488
00:23:37,915 --> 00:23:39,782
I want some cold beer.

489
00:23:39,817 --> 00:23:41,451
Penthouse, stamford marriott.

490
00:23:41,485 --> 00:23:45,187
And a fuck machine.

491
00:23:46,356 --> 00:23:47,824
Okay. Okay.

492
00:23:47,858 --> 00:23:49,458
I have to poop.

493
00:23:49,493 --> 00:23:52,495
- I'd need new equipment, more spinners.
- Obviously.

494
00:23:52,529 --> 00:23:54,163
And I might want to
hire a staff --

495
00:23:54,198 --> 00:23:55,999
small, a few people.

496
00:23:56,033 --> 00:23:58,167
Your call, Kemo Sabe.
Oh, damn.

497
00:23:58,202 --> 00:24:00,837
Now I can't stop thinking
about bald, sick people.

498
00:24:00,871 --> 00:24:02,739
Anyway, boss.

499
00:24:02,773 --> 00:24:05,743
Wait, this is it?

500
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:07,545
If there's no real contract,

501
00:24:07,579 --> 00:24:10,047
what's to keep us from
taking the money and walking?

502
00:24:10,081 --> 00:24:13,550
This company was built
on a handshake.

503
00:24:13,585 --> 00:24:16,687
Now, we intend to keep
our part of the bargain.

504
00:24:16,721 --> 00:24:19,190
I'm trusting you both to have
the decency to do the same.

505
00:24:22,595 --> 00:24:25,330
Let's bust out the juleps!

506
00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:48,855
Mm. Ain't that Ice Pick's ride?

507
00:24:48,889 --> 00:24:51,023
Nuh-unh, man.
Ice Pick in the joint.

508
00:24:51,057 --> 00:24:52,858
He got caught jerking it
at the public library.

509
00:24:54,227 --> 00:24:56,028
He been trying to get
that online law degree,

510
00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:57,830
like Atticus Finch and shit.

511
00:24:57,864 --> 00:24:58,997
Hold up.

512
00:24:59,032 --> 00:25:00,866
That's definitely
Ice Pick's ride.

513
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:03,602
Who else you know got them
dumb-ass stickers on the side?

514
00:25:03,637 --> 00:25:05,437
Damn.

515
00:25:05,472 --> 00:25:07,272
You think that's Vanessa
he got in there?

516
00:25:07,307 --> 00:25:08,607
Ooh, mnh-mnh.

517
00:25:08,642 --> 00:25:09,809
Come on, man.

518
00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:11,477
You're tickling my foot.

519
00:25:11,511 --> 00:25:13,345
I'm not touching your foot.

520
00:25:15,782 --> 00:25:17,850
Where's my gun?

521
00:25:19,919 --> 00:25:22,889
This one's for Ice Pick.

522
00:25:24,491 --> 00:25:26,959
Studious motherfucker.

523
00:25:29,429 --> 00:25:31,897
Fuck.

524
00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:38,437
- You blinked!
- No!

525
00:25:38,471 --> 00:25:40,472
I thought it was
first one to laugh!

526
00:25:40,506 --> 00:25:42,640
Fine. Well, then you lose
that one, too.

527
00:25:43,809 --> 00:25:46,777
Oh!
Damn your pretty robot eyes.

528
00:25:46,811 --> 00:25:49,113
Oh, I have practice.

529
00:25:49,147 --> 00:25:50,781
Yeah, I have
two 5-year-old cousins.

530
00:25:50,816 --> 00:25:53,951
I have
a 5-year-old nephew.

531
00:25:53,985 --> 00:25:55,785
God, they're great, right?

532
00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:57,954
Oh, it's like you get to learn
the whole world again

533
00:25:57,989 --> 00:25:59,289
from scratch.

534
00:25:59,324 --> 00:26:00,758
Just... Mm.

535
00:26:00,792 --> 00:26:01,925
Mm-hmm.

536
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,261
Um, I have
this 3-seat tandem bike

537
00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:08,599
that I force them to ride --
has long streamers.

538
00:26:08,633 --> 00:26:10,534
It's pretty embarrassing.

539
00:26:10,568 --> 00:26:14,905
Uh -- for them, not for me.

540
00:26:14,940 --> 00:26:18,242
When I was younger, I drove
my bike into a park bench

541
00:26:18,277 --> 00:26:19,910
and had to get
two fingers reattached.

542
00:26:21,146 --> 00:26:24,482
Yeah, I call them
my Franken-fingers.

543
00:26:26,519 --> 00:26:28,653
Oh, God!
Have I totally grossed you out?

544
00:26:29,822 --> 00:26:33,158
I'm sorry.

545
00:26:51,976 --> 00:26:57,113
I figured, since you're
always coming to my pool...

546
00:26:58,349 --> 00:27:00,483
You didn't call me back.

547
00:27:03,387 --> 00:27:05,889
I needed to figure
some things out.

548
00:27:17,335 --> 00:27:19,136
Did you figure them out?

549
00:27:19,171 --> 00:27:21,138
Oh, no.

550
00:27:21,173 --> 00:27:22,974
But I'm starting to.

551
00:27:33,552 --> 00:27:35,686
We should put tin cans
on my bike.

552
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:37,455
Right!

553
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:39,190
- Because it's a tandem.
- Uh-huh.

554
00:27:39,224 --> 00:27:40,624
Andrew Botwin
and Joanna Jacobs.

555
00:27:42,427 --> 00:27:44,228
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Wait! Wait! Wait!

556
00:27:44,262 --> 00:27:46,730
What?
What is that for?

557
00:27:46,765 --> 00:27:47,732
You'll see.

558
00:27:51,622 --> 00:28:01,978
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync by honeybunny</font>
Corrections by gloriabg
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

