1 00:00:00,224 --> 00:00:02,892 Previously on Awkward... 2 00:00:03,929 --> 00:00:05,328 I fucked your girlfriend. 3 00:00:05,330 --> 00:00:06,329 Everyone is talking about you. 4 00:00:06,331 --> 00:00:07,363 Your secret blog-- 5 00:00:07,365 --> 00:00:09,131 Not so secret anymore. 6 00:00:09,133 --> 00:00:10,633 You humiliated me. 7 00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:13,703 Jenna Hamilton tried to kill herself! 8 00:00:13,705 --> 00:00:14,637 Again! 9 00:00:16,173 --> 00:00:17,974 I was dead. 10 00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:19,709 Metaphorically speaking. 11 00:00:19,711 --> 00:00:22,445 Like Sylvia Plath, I'd taken my own life. 12 00:00:22,447 --> 00:00:25,247 Except while hers ended in an oven, 13 00:00:25,249 --> 00:00:26,950 mine ended on the internet. 14 00:00:26,952 --> 00:00:29,418 My blog was no longer a safe haven, 15 00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:31,721 so there was only one way I could take refuge 16 00:00:31,723 --> 00:00:34,023 from the internal slaughter in my head. 17 00:00:34,025 --> 00:00:36,893 I had to put pen to paper. 18 00:00:36,895 --> 00:00:39,261 Turns out, releasing my blog to the public 19 00:00:39,263 --> 00:00:41,397 was not the answer to my problems. 20 00:00:41,399 --> 00:00:43,232 Once again, I was a pariah. 21 00:00:43,234 --> 00:00:45,234 And even though I hadn't forgiven 22 00:00:45,236 --> 00:00:46,803 my mom for writing the letter, 23 00:00:46,805 --> 00:00:48,771 she was wise to my guilt trips. 24 00:00:48,773 --> 00:00:50,707 So I couldn't expect she would let me stay home, 25 00:00:50,709 --> 00:00:53,275 which meant I had to ensure it. 26 00:00:56,981 --> 00:01:00,950 Mom, I have a fever! 27 00:01:03,353 --> 00:01:06,222 My hand wasn't the only thing getting hot and bothered. 28 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,026 My mom was too. 29 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,695 Suddenly I didn't need to play sick anymore. 30 00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:14,864 I was sick, and I needed to escape 31 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:18,568 before I was confronted with what I expected to see-- 32 00:01:18,570 --> 00:01:23,139 My mother with a... 33 00:01:23,141 --> 00:01:24,306 Dad? 34 00:01:24,307 --> 00:01:27,007 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 35 00:01:29,847 --> 00:01:31,480 How are you feeling? 36 00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:33,582 - Uncomfortable. - Understandable. 37 00:01:33,584 --> 00:01:35,584 It's probably a little shocking 38 00:01:35,586 --> 00:01:36,819 to see us together. 39 00:01:36,821 --> 00:01:38,821 Seeing you together, not so shocking. 40 00:01:38,823 --> 00:01:41,958 It's more of where and how. 41 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,159 Mm-hmm. 44 00:01:46,264 --> 00:01:47,563 Your boobs. 45 00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:49,798 Might want to belt up. 46 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,101 I thought you were dating Hannah. 47 00:01:52,103 --> 00:01:53,236 So did I. 48 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,703 I wasn't. 49 00:01:54,705 --> 00:01:56,739 Which is why I came over to clear things up. 50 00:01:56,741 --> 00:02:00,376 And you did. 51 00:02:00,378 --> 00:02:03,279 Are you guys back together? 52 00:02:03,281 --> 00:02:05,714 We're working it out. 53 00:02:05,716 --> 00:02:08,985 Right, there's still work to do. 54 00:02:08,987 --> 00:02:11,888 And if that work was gonna happen in the house, 55 00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:13,822 I had to vacate the premises. 56 00:02:13,824 --> 00:02:17,960 Right, well, I am feeling much better now, 57 00:02:17,962 --> 00:02:19,728 so I'm gonna head to school. 58 00:02:19,730 --> 00:02:21,931 - Well, let me get dressed. - She can drive herself. 59 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,432 She is not driving the slut-wagon. 60 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,301 The thing will only bring her negative attention. 61 00:02:25,303 --> 00:02:26,802 Car or no car, 62 00:02:26,804 --> 00:02:29,505 negative attention was about the only attention 63 00:02:29,507 --> 00:02:31,874 I could expect. 64 00:02:33,543 --> 00:02:36,478 You sure you're feeling okay? 65 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:37,646 You don't look so good. 66 00:02:37,648 --> 00:02:39,015 I'm fine. 67 00:02:39,017 --> 00:02:40,749 I wasn't, but how do you tell your mom 68 00:02:40,751 --> 00:02:42,118 you're about to walk into a public lynching? 69 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,252 Really? 70 00:02:43,254 --> 00:02:45,054 Well, there are a couple small things 71 00:02:45,056 --> 00:02:46,755 that happened recently which are making me 72 00:02:46,757 --> 00:02:48,724 a wee bit apprehensive. 73 00:02:48,726 --> 00:02:50,759 - Bitch! - Like that. 74 00:02:50,761 --> 00:02:52,194 Don't call my daughter a bitch! 75 00:02:52,196 --> 00:02:54,630 Not her, you. 76 00:02:56,934 --> 00:02:58,267 What's going on? 77 00:02:58,269 --> 00:02:59,635 So Jake broke up with me 78 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:00,869 and then caught me making out with Matty, 79 00:03:00,871 --> 00:03:02,171 which shouldn't have been a thing, 80 00:03:02,173 --> 00:03:04,040 'cause I was technically single, 81 00:03:04,042 --> 00:03:05,707 but he thinks I'm a cheater because he didn't know 82 00:03:05,709 --> 00:03:07,109 that I was with Matty before I was with him, 83 00:03:07,111 --> 00:03:08,877 so he thought that we were seeing each other 84 00:03:08,879 --> 00:03:10,579 while I was seeing him, that "him" being Jake. 85 00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:11,613 Following? 86 00:03:11,615 --> 00:03:12,881 So I exposed my blog 87 00:03:12,883 --> 00:03:14,583 and basically everything about myself, 88 00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:16,218 and I didn't realize that there would be collateral damage, 89 00:03:16,220 --> 00:03:18,554 which I guess sort of definitely involves you 90 00:03:18,556 --> 00:03:22,058 and the letter. 91 00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:25,428 Everyone knows I wrote the letter? 92 00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:27,964 You're disgusting. 93 00:03:27,966 --> 00:03:29,798 I know it seems like I did this on purpose 94 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,667 because things aren't resolved between us. 95 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,669 I didn't mean to hurt you. 96 00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:36,872 Have a nice day, honey. 97 00:03:44,114 --> 00:03:45,348 We need to talk. 98 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,782 I can't. Not now. 99 00:03:46,784 --> 00:03:48,917 Please, let me say my piece. 100 00:03:48,919 --> 00:03:51,387 Writing that letter to Jenna was terrible. 101 00:03:51,389 --> 00:03:52,921 - Agreed. - And cruel. 102 00:03:52,923 --> 00:03:54,991 - I get it. - No, you don't. 103 00:03:54,993 --> 00:03:57,994 But I do, because despite how together I may seem 104 00:03:57,996 --> 00:03:59,728 I was once a misfit too. 105 00:03:59,730 --> 00:04:01,897 Yeah, I know it's hard to believe, 106 00:04:01,899 --> 00:04:03,332 but things weren't always smooth sailing 107 00:04:03,334 --> 00:04:04,666 for this old kimosabe. 108 00:04:04,668 --> 00:04:07,936 And do you know who always lifted me up? 109 00:04:07,938 --> 00:04:09,838 - Your mother. - That's right. 110 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,974 And let me tell you, I was pretty heavy back then. 111 00:04:11,976 --> 00:04:14,076 I had a tendency to eat my feelings, 112 00:04:14,078 --> 00:04:17,613 but no matter how heavy my load 113 00:04:17,615 --> 00:04:18,947 or my ass, 114 00:04:18,949 --> 00:04:20,582 my mother could always lighten it 115 00:04:20,584 --> 00:04:22,551 with her unconditional love 116 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,887 because that is what good mothers do. 117 00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:28,290 They love their kids. They don't tear them down. 118 00:04:28,292 --> 00:04:31,560 L-Dawg, I really expected 119 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,562 we were on the road to being besties, 120 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:36,165 but now I-- 121 00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:39,035 I don't think I can even be your friend. 122 00:04:46,777 --> 00:04:48,411 What kinda day are we looking at, 123 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,778 lunch in the bathroom? 124 00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:51,347 Nope, I'm clear for quad exposure. 125 00:04:51,349 --> 00:04:53,849 I'm back in with the mafia, big time. 126 00:04:53,851 --> 00:04:56,552 They got my parents to buy me a car. 127 00:04:56,554 --> 00:04:58,320 You're kidding. Why? 128 00:04:58,322 --> 00:04:59,621 It's a peace offering. 129 00:04:59,623 --> 00:05:01,490 Becca's scared shitless of you, 130 00:05:01,492 --> 00:05:02,858 and by proxy, now me. 131 00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:04,493 Why is she scared of me? 132 00:05:04,495 --> 00:05:05,994 'Cause putting yourself up for public consumption 133 00:05:05,996 --> 00:05:07,696 is, like, batshizat on crack. 134 00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:10,399 You're the scariest kind of loose cannon, Jenna. 135 00:05:10,401 --> 00:05:11,733 You're a suicide bomber. 136 00:05:11,735 --> 00:05:12,868 I wasn't trying to blow myself up. 137 00:05:12,870 --> 00:05:14,270 Motive doesn't matter 138 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,671 but mission accomplished. 139 00:05:15,673 --> 00:05:18,006 Your social suicide scared everyone silent. 140 00:05:18,008 --> 00:05:20,876 I assumed it was merely the calm before the storm, 141 00:05:20,878 --> 00:05:24,080 and as such I was battening down the hatches. 142 00:05:24,082 --> 00:05:26,648 Watch it! 143 00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:28,284 - Jenna. - Sorry, Julie. 144 00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:29,952 Julie. 145 00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:32,321 I had hit the hornets nest-- The Julies. 146 00:05:32,323 --> 00:05:33,889 They were power brokers, 147 00:05:33,891 --> 00:05:36,459 the kind of girls who could make or break a reputation 148 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,894 with a simple smile or a smirk. 149 00:05:38,896 --> 00:05:40,463 Nobody wanted to mess with them, 150 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,099 and I definitely didn't want them to mess with me. 151 00:05:43,101 --> 00:05:45,267 - What you did was ballsy. - And psychotic. 152 00:05:45,269 --> 00:05:46,702 It was a mistake. 153 00:05:46,704 --> 00:05:48,604 No, the mistake was ditching Matty for Jake. 154 00:05:48,606 --> 00:05:50,139 Team Jake all the way! 155 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,308 Seriously, when Matty showed up at the dance, 156 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,709 total panty drop. 157 00:05:53,711 --> 00:05:54,910 Forget you. 158 00:05:54,912 --> 00:05:56,278 Nothing trumps the bit with Jake 159 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,713 when he decked out his mom's minivan. 160 00:05:57,715 --> 00:05:59,815 It wasn't really a bit. 161 00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:01,383 That actually happened. 162 00:06:01,385 --> 00:06:04,120 Whatever. I just loved it. 163 00:06:04,122 --> 00:06:05,387 Anyhoo, gotta go. 164 00:06:05,389 --> 00:06:07,156 Back-up pants a-calling. 165 00:06:09,392 --> 00:06:11,527 That was strange. 166 00:06:11,529 --> 00:06:12,728 And unexpected. 167 00:06:12,730 --> 00:06:13,929 She just said "back-up pants." 168 00:06:13,931 --> 00:06:15,197 That was her quoting you quoting me. 169 00:06:15,199 --> 00:06:17,766 Do you realize what just happened? 170 00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,935 You've just been bitch-backed by the Julies. 171 00:06:19,937 --> 00:06:21,670 - Okay. - You don't get it. 172 00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:23,005 You're, like, a small cable show. 173 00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:24,673 You may not have a budget or marketing, 174 00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,142 but you're interesting 175 00:06:26,144 --> 00:06:27,676 and you're catching on with the right peeps. 176 00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:29,845 Peeps that get you and care what you think. 177 00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,280 Nobody cares what I think. 178 00:06:31,282 --> 00:06:33,282 But ironically, they did. 179 00:06:33,284 --> 00:06:34,716 I had fans. 180 00:06:34,718 --> 00:06:36,552 ♪ And I don't know, know ♪ 181 00:06:36,554 --> 00:06:39,622 ♪ I don't know what I can do for you ♪ 182 00:06:39,624 --> 00:06:41,857 And they wanted dating advice... 183 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:44,527 Psst. 184 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:47,396 Fashion tips... 185 00:06:48,766 --> 00:06:51,200 And a teenage perspective. 186 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:54,136 Suddenly everyone needed my opinion on their life 187 00:06:54,138 --> 00:06:55,437 and to weigh in on mine. 188 00:06:55,439 --> 00:06:57,339 It was overwhelming 189 00:06:57,341 --> 00:06:58,674 and exhilarating. 190 00:06:58,676 --> 00:07:00,643 I was a tastemaker. 191 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:05,513 Ugh, how is the hamil-troll's star rising while mine falls? 192 00:07:05,515 --> 00:07:07,315 The bitch really crossed the line 193 00:07:07,317 --> 00:07:09,217 exposing my relationship with Ricky. 194 00:07:09,219 --> 00:07:10,619 I call shenanigans. 195 00:07:10,621 --> 00:07:12,120 She didn't ho and tell. 196 00:07:12,122 --> 00:07:13,689 Everyone already knew about you and Ricky. 197 00:07:13,691 --> 00:07:14,923 Ho and tell? 198 00:07:14,925 --> 00:07:16,257 Don't make me puke 199 00:07:16,259 --> 00:07:18,460 with that side-stooge's lingo. 200 00:07:18,462 --> 00:07:19,962 Look, I know Jenna's blog 201 00:07:19,964 --> 00:07:21,362 didn't paint you in the best light. 202 00:07:21,364 --> 00:07:23,632 But you gotta give her credit. She can spell. 203 00:07:23,634 --> 00:07:25,166 I'm not going to give her credit 204 00:07:25,168 --> 00:07:27,803 for anything except inducing my stress. 205 00:07:27,805 --> 00:07:31,006 She totally exaggerated Ricky's past indiscretions 206 00:07:31,008 --> 00:07:32,540 on that retarded blog, 207 00:07:32,542 --> 00:07:35,376 which is why I now have the worst breakout 208 00:07:35,378 --> 00:07:36,712 of my life. 209 00:07:36,714 --> 00:07:38,279 See? 210 00:07:38,281 --> 00:07:39,915 Tia! 211 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,783 Please, stop with the slang 212 00:07:41,785 --> 00:07:44,419 or I'm gonna slap you. 213 00:07:44,421 --> 00:07:46,121 Why are you looking at me like that? 214 00:07:46,123 --> 00:07:47,522 I don't think you're breaking out. 215 00:07:47,524 --> 00:07:50,125 You've been making out. That is a kiss blister. 216 00:07:50,127 --> 00:07:51,960 What the hell is a kiss blister? 217 00:07:51,962 --> 00:07:54,630 Herpes. 218 00:07:54,632 --> 00:07:57,833 This is not that. 219 00:07:57,835 --> 00:08:00,301 It's a zit. 220 00:08:00,303 --> 00:08:01,937 Good luck with everything. 221 00:08:08,111 --> 00:08:09,811 You should say something. 222 00:08:09,813 --> 00:08:13,314 What is there to say that hasn't already been said? 223 00:08:13,316 --> 00:08:14,482 Or read? 224 00:08:14,484 --> 00:08:15,450 Good point. 225 00:08:15,452 --> 00:08:17,585 With all my newfound validation, 226 00:08:17,587 --> 00:08:19,420 I had almost forgotten 227 00:08:19,422 --> 00:08:21,256 the one opinion that mattered most. 228 00:08:21,258 --> 00:08:23,158 Make that the two opinions. 229 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,559 Maybe it is a good time to talk. 230 00:08:24,561 --> 00:08:26,427 'Cause my new positive approval rating 231 00:08:26,429 --> 00:08:28,596 could be rubbing off on them too. 232 00:08:28,598 --> 00:08:30,231 - Right? - I don't know about them. 233 00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:32,100 But it's definitely rubbing off on me. 234 00:08:32,102 --> 00:08:34,402 People have been rocking my slanguage left and right. 235 00:08:34,404 --> 00:08:36,237 I've heard three Tamara "isms" 236 00:08:36,239 --> 00:08:37,572 in the first two periods alone. 237 00:08:37,574 --> 00:08:40,075 Although Amy Dube doesn't really get 238 00:08:40,077 --> 00:08:43,611 that a "Fail Mary" isn't a good thing. 239 00:08:43,613 --> 00:08:45,047 Go. Talk to them. 240 00:08:45,049 --> 00:08:46,882 What's the worst that could happen? 241 00:08:46,884 --> 00:08:48,516 They could spit in my face. 242 00:08:48,518 --> 00:08:50,986 They could, but they won't. 243 00:08:59,428 --> 00:09:01,797 Turns out my great expectations, 244 00:09:01,799 --> 00:09:03,364 not so great. 245 00:09:10,478 --> 00:09:11,912 Hey, do you mind if we switch seats? 246 00:09:11,914 --> 00:09:14,281 I do. I'm not on your team. 247 00:09:14,283 --> 00:09:16,116 I am. You could switch with me. 248 00:09:16,118 --> 00:09:20,020 Thanks, but my objective is to get further from someone, 249 00:09:20,022 --> 00:09:21,054 not closer. 250 00:09:21,056 --> 00:09:23,524 - Can we trade? - No. 251 00:09:23,526 --> 00:09:26,026 You're lame. No wonder Jenna dumped you. 252 00:09:26,028 --> 00:09:28,128 All right, frenchies, 253 00:09:28,130 --> 00:09:31,331 Miss Kang had an emergency and had to go home, 254 00:09:31,333 --> 00:09:34,668 probably 'cause she ate some bad creme fraiche this morning. 255 00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:37,938 Some creme not-so-fraiche, huh? 256 00:09:39,507 --> 00:09:41,007 C'est la vie. 257 00:09:41,009 --> 00:09:42,810 Well, I didn't have time to call in a sub, 258 00:09:42,812 --> 00:09:44,478 so you're watching a movie. 259 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:45,979 It's called Jules and Jim. 260 00:09:45,981 --> 00:09:48,214 So in case you wanna tune out and take a napster, 261 00:09:48,216 --> 00:09:49,750 here are the highlights. 262 00:09:49,752 --> 00:09:52,586 "Two best friends fall in love with the same woman, 263 00:09:52,588 --> 00:09:54,788 who leaves the insecure one for the passionate one, 264 00:09:54,790 --> 00:09:56,657 causing friction between them. 265 00:09:56,659 --> 00:09:59,125 Then the woman drives one of them off a bridge." 266 00:09:59,127 --> 00:10:02,128 A stupid suicidal girl comes in between two friends. 267 00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:03,764 That sounds familiar. 268 00:10:03,766 --> 00:10:06,333 Oh, it's just like Jenna Hamilton's life. 269 00:10:06,335 --> 00:10:08,134 Except the movie is better 270 00:10:08,136 --> 00:10:11,404 because the girl actually dies. 271 00:10:11,406 --> 00:10:13,106 I hope you're taking notes, 272 00:10:13,108 --> 00:10:15,576 'cause Matty's not in the wrong-- You are. 273 00:10:15,578 --> 00:10:16,944 Listen, I appreciate your opinion, 274 00:10:16,946 --> 00:10:18,612 but you don't have all the information. 275 00:10:18,614 --> 00:10:20,547 Actually, I do. I read the blog. 276 00:10:20,549 --> 00:10:22,115 Good for you, but there's no way 277 00:10:22,117 --> 00:10:24,585 a stupid movie's gonna give me a new perspective. 278 00:10:24,587 --> 00:10:28,388 I'm never talking to that asshole again. 279 00:10:34,496 --> 00:10:37,764 We should talk. 280 00:10:37,766 --> 00:10:40,200 Why didn't you just tell me that the camp girl was Jenna? 281 00:10:40,202 --> 00:10:41,401 I don't know, man. 282 00:10:41,403 --> 00:10:42,803 I was still figuring it all out 283 00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,872 when suddenly you were into her, 284 00:10:44,874 --> 00:10:46,940 and every time I tried to tell you, 285 00:10:46,942 --> 00:10:48,274 it got more complicated. 286 00:10:48,276 --> 00:10:49,877 More complicated than this? 287 00:10:49,879 --> 00:10:52,746 Dude, I don't want our friendship to go out this way. 288 00:10:52,748 --> 00:10:55,181 - Neither do I. - So what do we do? 289 00:10:55,183 --> 00:10:56,583 We just move on. 290 00:10:56,585 --> 00:10:58,284 And we tell each other the truth, okay? 291 00:10:58,286 --> 00:11:00,253 About everything. 292 00:11:00,255 --> 00:11:01,722 Yeah. Good for me. 293 00:11:01,724 --> 00:11:03,790 Me too. 294 00:11:03,792 --> 00:11:04,625 Well... 295 00:11:04,627 --> 00:11:08,461 - So you should know-- - So you should know-- 296 00:11:08,463 --> 00:11:11,932 - I still love Jenna. - I still love Jenna. 297 00:11:14,670 --> 00:11:16,036 Can you help get me somewhere safe 298 00:11:16,038 --> 00:11:17,103 and out of the spotlight? 299 00:11:17,105 --> 00:11:18,405 I got you, J. 300 00:11:18,407 --> 00:11:19,806 Back off, sycophants. 301 00:11:19,808 --> 00:11:21,542 Jenna doesn't have all the answers. 302 00:11:21,544 --> 00:11:23,476 But you do have all the answers. 303 00:11:23,478 --> 00:11:25,211 Have you read my blog? 304 00:11:25,213 --> 00:11:27,014 I don't. My life is a mess. 305 00:11:27,016 --> 00:11:28,415 Au contraire. 306 00:11:28,417 --> 00:11:29,850 That's French for "on the contrary." 307 00:11:29,852 --> 00:11:31,117 I gathered. 308 00:11:31,119 --> 00:11:32,886 Your life isn't a mess. It's amazing. 309 00:11:32,888 --> 00:11:35,255 You have friends, a bro-down, 310 00:11:35,257 --> 00:11:36,757 and a very nice way with words, 311 00:11:36,759 --> 00:11:39,426 which I know because I devoured every last one of them, 312 00:11:39,428 --> 00:11:41,261 virtually speaking of course. 313 00:11:41,263 --> 00:11:42,629 Of course. 314 00:11:42,631 --> 00:11:44,297 So here's what I need to know. 315 00:11:44,299 --> 00:11:46,232 I was bracing myself. 316 00:11:46,234 --> 00:11:49,202 Will you help me write my memoir? 317 00:11:50,739 --> 00:11:52,505 This is getting insane. I'm not a role model. 318 00:11:52,507 --> 00:11:54,608 No, you're a Lifetime movie. 319 00:11:54,610 --> 00:11:57,811 Seriously, we should think about adapting your blog. 320 00:11:57,813 --> 00:11:59,479 This isn't a movie, this is my life, 321 00:11:59,481 --> 00:12:01,048 and I don't have a remote to take control 322 00:12:01,050 --> 00:12:03,951 or delete the traumatic episodes involving Matty and Jake. 323 00:12:03,953 --> 00:12:06,119 They're never gonna talk to me again. 324 00:12:06,121 --> 00:12:07,888 That's so major! 325 00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:09,222 May-jer! 326 00:12:09,224 --> 00:12:10,724 May-jor! 327 00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:13,927 May-jer, may-jor. 328 00:12:13,929 --> 00:12:16,196 Lose the E and stress the O. 329 00:12:16,198 --> 00:12:17,664 Amazeballs. And so are you. 330 00:12:17,666 --> 00:12:19,633 You really dodged a bullet with that Ricky reject. 331 00:12:19,635 --> 00:12:22,069 Rumor has it he's rocking some nasty STDs 332 00:12:22,071 --> 00:12:23,904 in his sex-cretins. 333 00:12:23,906 --> 00:12:25,005 Sex-cretions. 334 00:12:25,007 --> 00:12:26,740 But he is a cretin, that's for sure. 335 00:12:27,743 --> 00:12:30,543 See, Jenna? Nothing to worry about. 336 00:12:30,545 --> 00:12:32,479 You're on a positively positive upswing. 337 00:12:32,481 --> 00:12:34,114 The boys are bound to come around. 338 00:12:34,116 --> 00:12:35,582 No doubt. 339 00:12:35,584 --> 00:12:37,718 I mean, it's not like you gave them herpes. 340 00:12:43,825 --> 00:12:45,391 Shit. 341 00:12:58,673 --> 00:13:00,707 Finally, the tide had turned, 342 00:13:00,709 --> 00:13:02,542 and I was about to get the smackdown 343 00:13:02,544 --> 00:13:04,077 I had anticipated. 344 00:13:04,079 --> 00:13:07,447 Okay, here we go. 345 00:13:07,449 --> 00:13:09,683 Lay it on me. I'm ready. 346 00:13:09,685 --> 00:13:13,086 We've decided not to let a girl come between us. 347 00:13:13,088 --> 00:13:14,254 I understand. 348 00:13:14,256 --> 00:13:16,890 So you need to choose. 349 00:13:16,892 --> 00:13:19,893 Him or me. 350 00:13:19,895 --> 00:13:21,327 Team Jake! 351 00:13:22,865 --> 00:13:25,999 Team Jake! Team Jake! Team Jake! 352 00:13:34,092 --> 00:13:35,692 I know. 353 00:13:35,694 --> 00:13:38,128 I know! Just let me be! 354 00:13:38,130 --> 00:13:39,763 Mom? 355 00:13:39,765 --> 00:13:41,431 I'm home. 356 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,534 - Please don't. - Hello. 357 00:13:44,536 --> 00:13:47,738 I'm fine. 358 00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:51,574 My mother is not a monster. 359 00:13:51,576 --> 00:13:52,909 Has this been happening all day? 360 00:13:52,911 --> 00:13:54,811 Honey, don't worry about it. 361 00:13:54,813 --> 00:13:56,246 How 'bout a snack? 362 00:13:56,248 --> 00:13:59,282 Apparently my stigma hadn't disappeared. 363 00:13:59,284 --> 00:14:01,417 It transferred to my mother. 364 00:14:01,419 --> 00:14:03,153 Mom, I'm so sorry. 365 00:14:03,155 --> 00:14:05,722 You have nothing to apologize for. 366 00:14:05,724 --> 00:14:06,957 I deserve this. 367 00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:08,792 This isn't tit for tat, I swear. 368 00:14:08,794 --> 00:14:10,193 I know. 369 00:14:10,195 --> 00:14:11,895 Because even though you haven't forgiven me, 370 00:14:11,897 --> 00:14:14,430 you have never been cruel. 371 00:14:14,432 --> 00:14:16,099 But I have. 372 00:14:16,101 --> 00:14:19,502 That letter was cruel. 373 00:14:19,504 --> 00:14:21,805 So why did you write it? 374 00:14:27,813 --> 00:14:29,045 The day I wrote it, 375 00:14:29,047 --> 00:14:31,014 my mother laid into me, 376 00:14:31,016 --> 00:14:33,950 telling me that I wasn't raising you right. 377 00:14:33,952 --> 00:14:37,220 And instead of tuning her out, 378 00:14:37,222 --> 00:14:39,322 I tuned her in. 379 00:14:39,324 --> 00:14:43,093 And I did what I never wanted to do. 380 00:14:43,095 --> 00:14:47,197 I attacked you the way that she has always attacked me, 381 00:14:47,199 --> 00:14:50,633 and it wasn't right or fair. 382 00:14:50,635 --> 00:14:52,269 It was just a family pattern 383 00:14:52,271 --> 00:14:54,437 that apparently I couldn't break. 384 00:14:54,439 --> 00:14:55,605 We need to call dad. 385 00:14:55,607 --> 00:14:56,840 No, please don't call him. 386 00:14:56,842 --> 00:14:58,308 He can fix this. 387 00:14:58,310 --> 00:15:00,443 I know, but he can't fix me. 388 00:15:00,445 --> 00:15:02,445 I'm a monster. 389 00:15:02,447 --> 00:15:04,514 That's not true. 390 00:15:04,516 --> 00:15:07,284 Jenna. 391 00:15:07,286 --> 00:15:10,954 Your dad didn't stay with me for me. 392 00:15:10,956 --> 00:15:12,322 He stayed for you. 393 00:15:12,324 --> 00:15:15,525 And while I will always be your mother 394 00:15:15,527 --> 00:15:19,696 and I will always love you, 395 00:15:19,698 --> 00:15:23,566 you have a choice. 396 00:15:23,568 --> 00:15:28,138 You don't have to love me. 397 00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:30,974 Again, my life was full of unexpected choices. 398 00:15:30,976 --> 00:15:34,845 Choices that I didn't want to make. 399 00:15:35,147 --> 00:15:38,314 You can handle this with medication. 400 00:15:38,316 --> 00:15:40,483 I don't want to take medication. 401 00:15:40,485 --> 00:15:43,153 I want to wring Ricky's neck. 402 00:15:43,155 --> 00:15:44,454 And you should. 403 00:15:44,456 --> 00:15:46,322 A real man would have disclosed. 404 00:15:46,324 --> 00:15:47,524 He's branded you for life. 405 00:15:47,526 --> 00:15:48,891 So should I break up with him? 406 00:15:48,893 --> 00:15:50,092 I don't know. 407 00:15:50,094 --> 00:15:52,295 Who else is gonna want you now? 408 00:15:52,297 --> 00:15:55,465 Actually, a lot of guys. 409 00:15:55,467 --> 00:15:57,167 According to the commercials, 410 00:15:57,169 --> 00:15:58,568 one out of every four. 411 00:16:00,405 --> 00:16:01,971 It's my doctor. 412 00:16:01,973 --> 00:16:03,594 I'm too nervous. Answer it. 413 00:16:04,426 --> 00:16:05,549 Hi. 414 00:16:07,418 --> 00:16:08,483 Yes, this is Sadie. 415 00:16:11,463 --> 00:16:12,665 It's not herpes. 416 00:16:13,732 --> 00:16:15,199 - So it's nothing. - I told you so. 417 00:16:17,016 --> 00:16:20,711 I was just about to break up with Ricky thanks to you... 418 00:16:21,325 --> 00:16:24,937 I'm gonna go before I wring your neck. 419 00:16:27,198 --> 00:16:28,798 Dropped a new word today. 420 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,801 "Adora-whore-able." 421 00:16:31,803 --> 00:16:33,269 Adora-whore-able? What's it mean? 422 00:16:33,271 --> 00:16:34,671 Slutty yet sweet. 423 00:16:34,673 --> 00:16:35,938 You've heard it? 424 00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:37,373 Unfortunately. 425 00:16:37,375 --> 00:16:39,242 Amanda Shillingford said it in reference to me 426 00:16:39,244 --> 00:16:40,743 on my way out of Geometry. 427 00:16:40,745 --> 00:16:43,613 God, I'm so on fire! I'm trendsetting. 428 00:16:43,615 --> 00:16:45,848 And I'm trending in two categories, 429 00:16:45,850 --> 00:16:48,351 hashtag Jenna-pick-Jake and Jenna-pick-Matty. 430 00:16:48,353 --> 00:16:49,885 Why can't everyone just mind their own business? 431 00:16:49,887 --> 00:16:51,421 You need to breathe. 432 00:16:51,423 --> 00:16:54,724 And then tell us, who's it gonna be? 433 00:16:54,726 --> 00:16:57,327 - Is it Matty or me? - No pressure or anything. 434 00:16:57,329 --> 00:16:58,794 I appreciate that. 435 00:16:58,796 --> 00:17:00,230 But we need to know. 436 00:17:00,232 --> 00:17:03,633 And so did everyone else. 437 00:17:03,635 --> 00:17:05,602 I just-- I can't think like this. 438 00:17:05,604 --> 00:17:08,137 Then don't. We'll do it for you. 439 00:17:08,139 --> 00:17:09,839 I can vouch for Matty. 440 00:17:09,841 --> 00:17:12,342 He's a good-looking guy with a great head of hair 441 00:17:12,344 --> 00:17:14,009 and a really big heart. 442 00:17:14,011 --> 00:17:15,378 Wow. That means a lot, man. 443 00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:17,046 And see, it's that kind of thoughtfulness 444 00:17:17,048 --> 00:17:18,814 that makes Jake the better contender. 445 00:17:18,816 --> 00:17:20,916 He's about the best kind of friend to have around 446 00:17:20,918 --> 00:17:22,585 when the going gets tough. 447 00:17:22,587 --> 00:17:24,687 Well, you're no slouch in that department either, man. 448 00:17:24,689 --> 00:17:26,256 I don't know, what would I have done without you 449 00:17:26,258 --> 00:17:28,157 when my brother went to rehab last year? 450 00:17:28,159 --> 00:17:29,626 And when my mom had that cancer scare, 451 00:17:29,628 --> 00:17:30,993 you were right by my side. 452 00:17:30,995 --> 00:17:32,562 And I'll be there again. 453 00:17:34,398 --> 00:17:36,899 So? 454 00:17:36,901 --> 00:17:39,902 I've made a decision. 455 00:17:39,904 --> 00:17:41,203 You should date each other. 456 00:17:53,790 --> 00:17:55,456 Is mom coming to dinner? 457 00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:57,192 She went to bed. 458 00:17:57,194 --> 00:17:58,660 It's 6:00. 459 00:17:58,662 --> 00:18:00,262 She's had a rough couple of days, 460 00:18:00,264 --> 00:18:03,064 and she's gonna get through it. 461 00:18:03,066 --> 00:18:05,400 With you? 462 00:18:05,402 --> 00:18:07,803 I'm not going anywhere. 463 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:16,577 Did you only stay with mom for me? 464 00:18:16,579 --> 00:18:18,446 Your mom tell you that? 465 00:18:18,448 --> 00:18:21,482 Yeah. 466 00:18:21,484 --> 00:18:24,186 Uh, when we were younger, 467 00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:27,488 I did and said a lot of awful things to her, 468 00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:33,428 things she's forgiven but clearly hasn't forgotten. 469 00:18:33,430 --> 00:18:36,397 I-- I wasn't always the best guy. 470 00:18:38,434 --> 00:18:39,835 Let's be real, 471 00:18:39,837 --> 00:18:41,937 she hasn't always been the best either. 472 00:18:41,939 --> 00:18:43,071 No, I know. 473 00:18:43,073 --> 00:18:45,073 But you've got to cut her some slack. 474 00:18:45,075 --> 00:18:48,543 Because what you don't know is that I wasn't always around 475 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:50,846 as much as I should have been. 476 00:18:50,848 --> 00:18:53,114 And when I was, 477 00:18:53,116 --> 00:18:55,150 you didn't want me to hold you. 478 00:18:55,152 --> 00:18:56,617 That's not true. 479 00:18:56,619 --> 00:18:58,553 You were the only one who could put me to sleep. 480 00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,155 With your mom's song. 481 00:19:00,157 --> 00:19:02,824 Singing that lullaby 482 00:19:02,826 --> 00:19:06,427 was the only way to get you to calm down. 483 00:19:06,429 --> 00:19:09,764 So your mom taught it to me. 484 00:19:09,766 --> 00:19:12,133 She wanted me to be your hero. 485 00:19:12,135 --> 00:19:14,402 You are my hero, dad. 486 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:17,705 And your mom is mine. 487 00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:25,613 In an unexpected turn of events, 488 00:19:25,615 --> 00:19:28,449 I was neither a winner nor a loser. 489 00:19:28,451 --> 00:19:30,118 I was a chooser. 490 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,286 But someone had to win. 491 00:19:31,288 --> 00:19:32,754 Someone had to lose. 492 00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:34,589 And I was still left to choose. 493 00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,157 It was a big decision 494 00:19:36,159 --> 00:19:38,293 and not an easy one to make. 495 00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:48,036 So I had chosen... 496 00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:53,041 my mom. 497 00:19:55,945 --> 00:20:01,283 ♪ Special wonderful surprise ♪ 498 00:20:01,285 --> 00:20:04,252 ♪ rest your eyes ♪ 499 00:20:04,254 --> 00:20:07,522 ♪ rest your eyes ♪ 500 00:20:07,524 --> 00:20:13,094 ♪ what a blessing you will make ♪ 501 00:20:13,096 --> 00:20:15,696 ♪ when you wake ♪ 502 00:20:15,698 --> 00:20:18,766 ♪ when you wake ♪ 503 00:20:18,768 --> 00:20:24,205 ♪ strong and beautiful you'll be ♪ 504 00:20:24,207 --> 00:20:27,175 ♪ next to me ♪ 505 00:20:27,177 --> 00:20:30,845 ♪ next to me ♪ 506 00:20:31,425 --> 00:20:32,711 Next on Awkward... 507 00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,916 "If you had to do-over, how would you handle it?" 508 00:20:34,918 --> 00:20:36,784 A do-over-- It was an interesting concept. 509 00:20:36,786 --> 00:20:38,186 I was afraid you weren't gonna show. 510 00:20:38,188 --> 00:20:40,322 Wait. 511 00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:41,990 "Enough about Matty. I'm pro-Jake." 512 00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:43,558 So I'll break it off with Matty, 513 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,892 you get rid of Lissa, and we can be together. 514 00:20:44,894 --> 00:20:46,227 Cool. 515 00:20:46,229 --> 00:20:47,795 I didn't have to choose between Matty or Jake, 516 00:20:47,797 --> 00:20:48,964 but I wanted to. 517 00:20:48,966 --> 00:20:50,765 And I finally knew who it would be with.