1 00:00:00,570 --> 00:00:02,037 Previously on Weeds... 2 00:00:02,071 --> 00:00:04,039 Your foundation was granted a license 3 00:00:04,073 --> 00:00:06,308 to operate a facility for the homeless of this county. 4 00:00:06,342 --> 00:00:08,210 Make room, everyone. This is Monica. 5 00:00:08,244 --> 00:00:10,169 - All right, who's next? - I'm from the future. 6 00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:13,667 - I can't see very well. What do I do? - Pull over! 7 00:00:13,702 --> 00:00:16,165 License and registration, please. 8 00:00:16,199 --> 00:00:17,763 Andy: I made a horrible decision. 9 00:00:17,797 --> 00:00:21,194 Hi. I'm Jo. I'm Andy's wife. 10 00:00:21,228 --> 00:00:22,827 Didn't you date a rabbi? 11 00:00:22,862 --> 00:00:26,335 [ Sighing ] Mm. Yael. 12 00:00:26,369 --> 00:00:28,671 Yael, Yael, Yael. 13 00:00:28,706 --> 00:00:30,238 She was a rabbinical teacher. 14 00:00:30,273 --> 00:00:32,571 The future is not in dispensaries. 15 00:00:32,605 --> 00:00:34,708 I want to open something bright. 16 00:00:34,742 --> 00:00:39,041 We offer one brand-- our brand-- like MILF, 17 00:00:39,075 --> 00:00:40,443 that you grow. 18 00:00:40,477 --> 00:00:42,411 Can you still get your seedlings from the lab? 19 00:00:42,446 --> 00:00:45,749 - I was fired yesterday. - Mm. Not ideal. 20 00:00:45,783 --> 00:00:47,283 Well, we'll go elsewhere. 21 00:00:47,318 --> 00:00:48,484 Elsewhere? 22 00:00:54,259 --> 00:00:57,737 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 23 00:00:57,772 --> 00:01:00,453 ♪ Little boxes on the hillside ♪ 24 00:01:00,487 --> 00:01:03,451 ♪ little boxes made of ticky-tacky ♪ 25 00:01:03,486 --> 00:01:06,288 ♪ little boxes on the hillside ♪ 26 00:01:06,322 --> 00:01:09,123 ♪ little boxes all the same ♪ 27 00:01:09,157 --> 00:01:11,793 ♪ there's a green one and a pink one ♪ 28 00:01:11,827 --> 00:01:14,790 ♪ and a blue one and a yellow one ♪ 29 00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,789 ♪ and they're all made out of ticky-tacky ♪ 30 00:01:17,823 --> 00:01:20,453 ♪ and they all look just the same ♪ 31 00:01:20,488 --> 00:01:23,354 ♪ and the people in the houses ♪ 32 00:01:23,389 --> 00:01:26,355 ♪ all went to the university ♪ 33 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:29,024 ♪ where they were put in boxes ♪ 34 00:01:29,059 --> 00:01:31,258 ♪ and they came out all the same ♪ 35 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:34,926 ♪ and there's doctors and there's lawyers ♪ 36 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:37,594 ♪ and business executives ♪ 37 00:01:37,629 --> 00:01:40,431 ♪ and they're all made out of ticky-tacky ♪ 38 00:01:40,465 --> 00:01:45,502 ♪ and they all look just the same ♪ 39 00:01:45,536 --> 00:01:49,506 [ Panting ] 40 00:01:49,541 --> 00:01:52,208 [ Children playing ] 41 00:02:00,415 --> 00:02:02,750 [ Birds chirping ] 44 00:02:37,413 --> 00:02:39,381 I should have gone to Conrad's with her. 45 00:02:39,415 --> 00:02:41,183 I'd have convinced him. 46 00:02:41,217 --> 00:02:44,219 No, it's better she went alone, considering their... history. 47 00:02:44,253 --> 00:02:45,887 Is there anyone on this planet 48 00:02:45,921 --> 00:02:47,122 that woman has not slept with? 49 00:02:49,191 --> 00:02:50,377 Sorry. 50 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:51,498 No. It's fine. 51 00:02:51,609 --> 00:02:53,428 I'm completely onto other things-- Great things. 52 00:02:53,462 --> 00:02:55,263 Joanna? 53 00:02:55,297 --> 00:02:56,697 Joanna. 54 00:02:56,732 --> 00:02:57,965 Your wife. 55 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,467 Oh. Her? No, no. I'm talking about Yael. 56 00:03:00,502 --> 00:03:02,669 Yael, at rabbinical school. 57 00:03:02,703 --> 00:03:04,771 Yael of sharp tongue and eyebrows 58 00:03:04,805 --> 00:03:07,173 like the throwing blades of the Mossad. 59 00:03:07,207 --> 00:03:08,307 [ Chuckles ] 60 00:03:08,341 --> 00:03:09,708 That's why you tagged along-- 61 00:03:09,743 --> 00:03:12,844 to bone some ex-girlfriend? 62 00:03:12,879 --> 00:03:16,180 Not just "bone." I'm-a get her. 63 00:03:16,215 --> 00:03:17,849 There's a reason that you need MILF seeds 64 00:03:17,883 --> 00:03:19,383 and Conrad moved to Agrestic. 65 00:03:19,418 --> 00:03:20,751 It's all part of a bigger plan. 66 00:03:20,786 --> 00:03:22,253 It's called Regrestic now. 67 00:03:22,287 --> 00:03:23,554 Yes, it's a repressive, soulless, 68 00:03:23,589 --> 00:03:24,856 brown recluse-infested hellscape, 69 00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:26,524 but I was on a trajectory here, 70 00:03:26,558 --> 00:03:28,359 and I think there's a possibility 71 00:03:28,394 --> 00:03:32,363 that journey was taking me, cowed and limping, 72 00:03:32,398 --> 00:03:35,066 back to her-- back to Yael. 73 00:03:35,101 --> 00:03:37,035 You're losing it. 74 00:03:37,069 --> 00:03:38,736 Or maybe I'm finding it. 75 00:03:38,771 --> 00:03:40,672 Do you guys have a restroom? 76 00:03:40,706 --> 00:03:42,140 And I'm thinking 77 00:03:42,174 --> 00:03:44,309 maybe your journey here wasn't finished, either. 78 00:03:44,343 --> 00:03:45,977 Please. 79 00:03:46,011 --> 00:03:47,412 Aside from my pot strain, 80 00:03:47,446 --> 00:03:48,813 there's nothing back here for me. 81 00:03:48,847 --> 00:03:49,981 Hello? [ Taps desk ] 82 00:03:50,015 --> 00:03:52,283 Excuse me. 83 00:03:53,986 --> 00:03:57,822 See? Bigger plan. 84 00:03:59,758 --> 00:04:02,860 Nancy: Here's Stevie. He's at soccer camp. 85 00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:05,196 - We think he might go pro next year. - He's cute. 86 00:04:05,230 --> 00:04:07,598 I don't have any MILF, okay? I don't have any MILF seeds. 87 00:04:07,633 --> 00:04:10,334 - I don't have any MILF cuttings. - And I don't believe you. 88 00:04:10,369 --> 00:04:11,313 I've been out of the game for years. 89 00:04:11,426 --> 00:04:13,337 You could have saved yourself a trip. 90 00:04:13,372 --> 00:04:14,605 I know you worked for Heylia until a year ago. 91 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,407 - And I know you. - No, thing-- 92 00:04:16,441 --> 00:04:18,075 Yes, no. 93 00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:20,344 Things have changed. I'm in the health game now. 94 00:04:20,379 --> 00:04:22,513 - Health game? - That's right. Juice cleanses. 95 00:04:22,548 --> 00:04:24,916 Got a hook-up with an organic fruit farm out in Temecula. 96 00:04:24,950 --> 00:04:26,450 Profit margins are unbelievable. 97 00:04:26,485 --> 00:04:27,985 I want you to grow for me. 98 00:04:28,019 --> 00:04:29,220 We've got this classic detox, right? 99 00:04:29,254 --> 00:04:30,855 It's basically cayenne and aloe vera. 100 00:04:30,889 --> 00:04:32,323 Grow for me. 101 00:04:32,357 --> 00:04:34,524 Or the root program. Now, the root program's easy. 102 00:04:34,559 --> 00:04:36,694 All it is is carrots, beets, added chlorophyll. 103 00:04:36,728 --> 00:04:38,362 We were good together. 104 00:04:38,396 --> 00:04:41,565 Yes, listen. Here's the funny thing, okay? 105 00:04:41,599 --> 00:04:43,667 The liver does an incredible job of eliminating toxins 106 00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:45,102 so basically these women are paying me $300 107 00:04:45,136 --> 00:04:47,571 to deliver wishes to their house every morning. 108 00:04:47,605 --> 00:04:49,139 You have some, don't you? 109 00:04:49,174 --> 00:04:50,641 Seeds. 110 00:04:50,675 --> 00:04:53,210 It didn't matter. Even if I did, what would I-- 111 00:04:53,245 --> 00:04:54,812 No, no, no! Because-- No, listen! 112 00:04:54,847 --> 00:04:56,314 I am done with grow-houses. 113 00:04:56,348 --> 00:04:57,916 I'm not making that mistake again! 114 00:04:57,950 --> 00:04:59,185 You let me worry about where. 115 00:04:59,219 --> 00:05:01,254 - Don't worry about shit! - I am not-- No! 116 00:05:01,289 --> 00:05:03,790 - I'm not listening to you. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 117 00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:06,426 Aah! Nancy! 118 00:05:06,461 --> 00:05:07,828 Uh, hi, Pam. 119 00:05:07,862 --> 00:05:09,229 Where have you been?! 120 00:05:09,263 --> 00:05:11,098 I haven't seen you in at least a year. 121 00:05:11,132 --> 00:05:12,232 Oh, uh... 122 00:05:12,267 --> 00:05:14,904 Maybe a little longer than that. 123 00:05:14,938 --> 00:05:18,242 Oh, sorry, memory's fuzzy from the shock treatments. 124 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,511 Good news-- The sex addiction is gone. 125 00:05:20,546 --> 00:05:23,515 You and Celia are so cliquey, I never see you anymore. 126 00:05:23,549 --> 00:05:25,150 Are you coming to the wedding? 127 00:05:25,184 --> 00:05:27,486 - What wedding? Alison: - There you are. 128 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:29,822 You have to write checks to the caterer, the cake lady-- 129 00:05:29,856 --> 00:05:33,026 Hi. Are you the harpist? 130 00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:36,029 Excuse me, Mr. Conrad, they need to measure your inseam. 131 00:05:36,063 --> 00:05:38,598 No problem, Lupita. I'll be-- 132 00:05:38,632 --> 00:05:40,133 Aah! La bruja! 133 00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:41,801 My wedding. 134 00:05:41,835 --> 00:05:42,835 Alison: Our wedding. 135 00:05:44,338 --> 00:05:49,275 Driving a known drug vehicle with a busted windshield? 136 00:05:49,309 --> 00:05:51,243 I was just trying to impress my girlfriend. 137 00:05:51,278 --> 00:05:53,946 We know about the scam at the impound lot! 138 00:05:53,981 --> 00:05:55,882 I don't know anything about a scam. 139 00:05:55,916 --> 00:05:58,318 We have the names. Testify-- Incident expunged. 140 00:05:58,352 --> 00:06:01,053 Or you take the auto-theft charge and you do some time. 141 00:06:01,088 --> 00:06:02,622 I've seen your file, Botwin. 142 00:06:02,656 --> 00:06:04,324 You could be a star on the force. 143 00:06:04,358 --> 00:06:06,192 Just gonna throw it away? 144 00:06:06,226 --> 00:06:08,861 For what? Ouellette? 145 00:06:08,896 --> 00:06:12,365 He's a crooked, alcoholic, walking arterial blockage 146 00:06:12,399 --> 00:06:15,668 who does not give a shit about you. 147 00:06:15,702 --> 00:06:18,070 You have 48 hours. 148 00:06:23,176 --> 00:06:25,812 Mm. 149 00:06:25,846 --> 00:06:28,314 I'm experiencing the most powerful déjà vu. 150 00:06:28,349 --> 00:06:30,383 It's like you and I were frozen, 151 00:06:30,417 --> 00:06:32,018 loaded onto a UFO, 152 00:06:32,052 --> 00:06:35,054 flown 10-to-the-power-of-9 parsecs 153 00:06:35,089 --> 00:06:38,557 to the Earth's distant twin planet, 154 00:06:38,592 --> 00:06:40,926 and reanimated for this moment. 155 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,594 And nothing's different 156 00:06:42,629 --> 00:06:45,531 except this planet rotates west to east, 157 00:06:45,565 --> 00:06:49,534 the atmosphere has a little more argon than we're used to, 158 00:06:49,569 --> 00:06:54,874 and you... have bangs now. 159 00:06:54,908 --> 00:06:56,141 I'm sorry. 160 00:06:56,176 --> 00:06:58,944 Do you have a child in Hebrew school? 161 00:06:58,979 --> 00:07:01,948 [ Chuckling ] No. No, I don't have... 162 00:07:01,982 --> 00:07:03,282 I don't have a child. 163 00:07:03,317 --> 00:07:04,951 Yael, don't you remember me? 164 00:07:04,986 --> 00:07:08,355 It's me, Andy Botwin. 165 00:07:08,390 --> 00:07:11,992 No. I'm sorry. 166 00:07:15,464 --> 00:07:21,602 His name is Lars Guin-- Guinard. 167 00:07:21,636 --> 00:07:24,104 He drives hot rods, plays guitar. 168 00:07:24,138 --> 00:07:26,606 Fucking dumb as a bag of rocks. 169 00:07:26,641 --> 00:07:28,942 [ Chuckles ] 170 00:07:28,976 --> 00:07:31,278 Your mom should be locked up. 171 00:07:31,312 --> 00:07:34,781 Oh, she was. [ Chuckles ] 172 00:07:34,816 --> 00:07:39,119 So, how did you end up back here? 173 00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:42,456 I was living in New York after school. 174 00:07:42,491 --> 00:07:47,061 I had the smallest apartment and broke, smelly boyfriend, 175 00:07:47,096 --> 00:07:50,097 but I loved it. 176 00:07:50,132 --> 00:07:51,999 Then my dad got sick. 177 00:07:52,034 --> 00:07:54,669 I'm sorry. 178 00:07:54,703 --> 00:07:57,138 [ Sighs ] 179 00:07:57,172 --> 00:08:01,108 You know, when-- when you left-- 180 00:08:01,143 --> 00:08:02,576 vanished-- 181 00:08:02,610 --> 00:08:07,614 I... I think I remember the sign. 182 00:08:07,648 --> 00:08:11,418 I was heartbroken. 183 00:08:11,452 --> 00:08:17,358 My parents wanted me away from you. 184 00:08:17,392 --> 00:08:20,094 I poked holes in our condoms. 185 00:08:20,128 --> 00:08:23,697 That's why you got pregnant. 186 00:08:23,732 --> 00:08:25,332 I-I was desperate. 187 00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:29,471 I didn't want you to go to Princeton and leave me here. 188 00:08:29,505 --> 00:08:33,575 Megan, I'm-- I'm so sorry. 189 00:08:39,549 --> 00:08:41,450 What the fuck?! 190 00:08:41,484 --> 00:08:43,786 I know. I know. But I loved you and... 191 00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:45,121 And I loved you. 192 00:08:45,155 --> 00:08:48,124 I just loved you. I loved you. 193 00:08:48,158 --> 00:08:50,126 You are the only girl I ever loved. 194 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,628 Still, to this day. 195 00:08:52,663 --> 00:08:55,631 Holy shit. 196 00:08:55,665 --> 00:09:00,803 I've never loved anyone else, never even came close. 197 00:09:00,837 --> 00:09:04,473 Fuck. 198 00:09:04,507 --> 00:09:06,942 [ Breathing heavily ] 199 00:09:11,614 --> 00:09:13,415 [ Sighs ] 200 00:09:17,452 --> 00:09:23,590 Do you still-- still love me? 201 00:09:23,625 --> 00:09:25,525 C-could you? 202 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,361 Is that ridiculous? 203 00:09:28,396 --> 00:09:31,231 No. 204 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,402 It's not ridiculous. 205 00:09:35,436 --> 00:09:37,404 [ Sighs ] 206 00:09:37,438 --> 00:09:41,941 Fuck. [ Sighs ] 207 00:09:45,379 --> 00:09:49,249 What do we do now? 208 00:09:53,822 --> 00:09:55,456 ♪ Ahh, ahh ♪ 209 00:09:55,490 --> 00:10:00,627 ♪ ahh, ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh ♪ 210 00:10:00,661 --> 00:10:01,728 ♪ ahh, ahh, ahh ♪ 211 00:10:03,097 --> 00:10:05,565 Wow! Where'd you learn to break like that? 212 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,067 Our robot butler taught me. 213 00:10:08,102 --> 00:10:10,270 Oh, right, right. 214 00:10:10,304 --> 00:10:12,805 Because you're from the future. [ Scoffs ] 215 00:10:12,839 --> 00:10:15,074 - Ow! - You okay, Doug? 216 00:10:15,108 --> 00:10:17,576 I don't think my family loves me. 217 00:10:17,610 --> 00:10:19,779 Your wife and kids? Of course they love you. 218 00:10:19,813 --> 00:10:21,748 No, fuck those guys. My son's an ass bandit. 219 00:10:21,782 --> 00:10:22,916 My wife married the grandpa from "Cosby." 220 00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,450 And my daughters think I'm dog shit. 221 00:10:24,485 --> 00:10:26,919 I'm talking about my real-life family-- The Botwins. 222 00:10:26,954 --> 00:10:29,122 [ Grunts ] I bought them this house, and they always exclude me, 223 00:10:29,157 --> 00:10:30,957 make me babysit. 224 00:10:30,992 --> 00:10:33,226 Speaking of which, if you see a little Mexican kid 225 00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:35,896 in a soccer jersey running around, give a shout-out. 226 00:10:37,466 --> 00:10:39,600 Where are they now? 227 00:10:39,635 --> 00:10:42,437 Took off on a vacation. Didn't even tell me. 228 00:10:42,471 --> 00:10:45,440 Don't worry, Doug. Everything gets better for you. 229 00:10:45,475 --> 00:10:47,176 What are you talking about? 230 00:10:47,210 --> 00:10:49,978 Soon, you become a very great man. 231 00:10:50,012 --> 00:10:53,514 Man: Ow! 232 00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:56,284 Waltz positions, everybody. 233 00:10:56,318 --> 00:10:57,952 1, 2, 3, 4. 234 00:10:57,987 --> 00:11:00,088 So, what are you doing here? 235 00:11:00,122 --> 00:11:02,257 Alison likes the 'burbs. 236 00:11:02,291 --> 00:11:04,192 Prices were low after the fire, 237 00:11:04,226 --> 00:11:07,261 and, well, I had a few fond memories of the place. 238 00:11:07,296 --> 00:11:08,296 I bought you something. 239 00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,967 It's 5 acres. Good soil. 240 00:11:12,001 --> 00:11:13,702 Plus, I've enrolled you 241 00:11:13,736 --> 00:11:16,338 in the Southwest Compassionate Collective, so you're legal. 242 00:11:16,372 --> 00:11:18,641 You bought a piece of land? 243 00:11:18,675 --> 00:11:21,143 MILF is gonna grow here, Conrad. 244 00:11:21,178 --> 00:11:23,145 - You're gonna make it grow. - That's lovely. 245 00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:25,014 Wow, you got it all figured out. 246 00:11:25,048 --> 00:11:26,682 One small detail. 247 00:11:26,716 --> 00:11:30,452 You can't grow in these valleys. It's all owned. 248 00:11:30,487 --> 00:11:32,121 I bought it. 249 00:11:32,155 --> 00:11:34,289 Owned, as in territory. 250 00:11:34,324 --> 00:11:36,124 Gangs. 251 00:11:36,159 --> 00:11:37,926 You have to pay them a tax. That's if they even okay it. 252 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,128 So I'll go talk to them. 253 00:11:40,163 --> 00:11:43,298 No, you won't. 'Cause guess who's back in charge. 254 00:11:44,434 --> 00:11:46,401 He's out? You're sure? 255 00:11:46,436 --> 00:11:49,404 Oh, yeah. It's 2006 all up in this bitch. 256 00:11:49,439 --> 00:11:51,573 They're running with the same crew, so if I was you, 257 00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:53,408 I'd work on that getting-out-of-town-now thing. 258 00:11:53,443 --> 00:11:55,911 I look forward to a photo. 259 00:11:55,946 --> 00:11:57,446 Be safe. 260 00:11:57,481 --> 00:11:59,182 Your tuition check bounced. 261 00:11:59,216 --> 00:12:00,350 God damn it! 262 00:12:00,384 --> 00:12:04,221 This fucking wedding is killing me. 263 00:12:04,255 --> 00:12:07,525 Do not go to Guillermo. 264 00:12:10,128 --> 00:12:12,129 [ Train whistle owing ] 265 00:12:12,163 --> 00:12:13,797 - Choo-Choo! - Choo-Choo! 266 00:12:13,832 --> 00:12:15,132 [ Laughing ] Yeah! 267 00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:16,433 Nancy: Choo-Choo! 268 00:12:18,069 --> 00:12:20,037 Hey. [ Chuckles ] 269 00:12:20,071 --> 00:12:22,273 Whose birthday are we celebrating? 270 00:12:22,307 --> 00:12:26,610 Or is it, um... A quinceañera? 271 00:12:26,644 --> 00:12:29,513 You got to admit, you guys really like picnics 272 00:12:29,547 --> 00:12:32,216 so sometimes it's kind of hard to identify 273 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:33,651 the specific occasion. 274 00:12:33,685 --> 00:12:35,519 Actually, this one's gonna be a funeral. 275 00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:42,826 Be nice. We're in public. 276 00:12:42,861 --> 00:12:45,729 Ya, bajense todos. Vamonos. 277 00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:49,266 Let's go. Let's go. 278 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,706 You know, I don't get it. 279 00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:59,409 Murder, kidnapping... How did you get out? 280 00:12:59,443 --> 00:13:01,979 I hired me the lawyer that got Jerry Seinfeld's wife off 281 00:13:02,013 --> 00:13:04,481 for stealing that cookbook idea. 282 00:13:04,515 --> 00:13:06,583 Oh, sorry-- "Allegedly." 283 00:13:06,617 --> 00:13:09,486 Yeah. You did what you needed to do to get out. 284 00:13:09,521 --> 00:13:11,656 I never ratted. 285 00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:14,125 They forgot to read me my Miranda rights. 286 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,128 They got the color of the car we were driving wrong. 287 00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:19,965 Evidence was tainted. Whatever. 288 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,934 Well, you're out now. Back on top. 289 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:24,037 - Right where you used to be. - Yeah, that's right. 290 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:26,806 I got me a reboot, like the new "Hobbit" movie. 291 00:13:26,841 --> 00:13:29,209 "The Hobbit" isn't a reboot. 292 00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,711 "Spiderman's" a reboot. 293 00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:32,880 "The Hulk" is a reboot. Which Hulk? 294 00:13:32,915 --> 00:13:34,782 There's two-- or three, counting "The Avengers." 295 00:13:34,817 --> 00:13:37,218 Get the fuck off my train! 296 00:13:40,256 --> 00:13:42,224 You shouldn't have come back. 297 00:13:42,258 --> 00:13:44,560 I told you, you don't belong here. 298 00:13:44,594 --> 00:13:46,395 I'm getting back in the business. 299 00:13:46,429 --> 00:13:47,496 I need your blessing. 300 00:13:47,530 --> 00:13:49,231 You don't have it. 301 00:13:49,266 --> 00:13:52,167 You don't have shit from me, other than mild curiosity and-- 302 00:13:52,202 --> 00:13:53,669 Begrudging admiration? 303 00:13:53,703 --> 00:13:57,673 An undying desire to majorly fuck you up. 304 00:13:57,707 --> 00:14:01,177 Aww. Stop, Guillermo. 305 00:14:01,211 --> 00:14:03,713 Reboot. This is business. 306 00:14:03,747 --> 00:14:07,317 No, blanca. This is personal. 307 00:14:07,351 --> 00:14:09,052 [ Cellphone rings ] 308 00:14:09,086 --> 00:14:10,587 Oye. 309 00:14:10,621 --> 00:14:12,823 Take her somewhere private. I got to take this. 310 00:14:12,857 --> 00:14:14,592 [ Cellphone beeps ] 311 00:14:14,626 --> 00:14:16,894 Man: Let's go. 312 00:14:16,929 --> 00:14:19,531 [ Knock on door ] 313 00:14:19,565 --> 00:14:22,366 Hey, you made it. Come on in. 314 00:14:22,401 --> 00:14:25,569 I got you an orange cranberry scone, but I got hungry. 315 00:14:25,604 --> 00:14:27,905 How you doing? 316 00:14:27,939 --> 00:14:29,907 Been better. 317 00:14:29,941 --> 00:14:31,742 Why? Is everything okay at home? 318 00:14:31,776 --> 00:14:33,243 I told you, I got pinched. 319 00:14:33,278 --> 00:14:36,012 Listen to this guy. 320 00:14:36,047 --> 00:14:38,448 [ Horn honking ] So dramatic. 321 00:14:38,483 --> 00:14:41,251 Here, I got you something. 322 00:14:41,285 --> 00:14:44,721 Signed by Mel Stottlemyre himself. 323 00:14:44,755 --> 00:14:47,390 I ate my first piece of snatch wearing that glove. 324 00:14:47,425 --> 00:14:48,725 They want me to rat. 325 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,862 What are you talking about? 326 00:14:51,896 --> 00:14:53,297 The impound yard. 327 00:14:53,331 --> 00:14:55,266 You mean the one which you stole a car from? 328 00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,968 Borrowed a car, 329 00:14:57,002 --> 00:14:58,669 which you were gonna sell and disappear from the registry. 330 00:14:58,704 --> 00:15:00,071 You know what I'm talking about. 331 00:15:00,105 --> 00:15:02,473 Here's all I know-- You call me in a panic. 332 00:15:02,508 --> 00:15:04,642 I go out, I get you a scone, 333 00:15:04,676 --> 00:15:07,144 I get you a nice, fucking meaningful gift 334 00:15:07,178 --> 00:15:09,646 because you did something so colossally fucking stupid 335 00:15:09,681 --> 00:15:12,482 that you can't get on the force now. 336 00:15:12,517 --> 00:15:14,517 Then I figure you need a little bit of a pick-me-up 337 00:15:14,552 --> 00:15:16,653 because it's got to be a goddamn daunting thing 338 00:15:16,687 --> 00:15:19,723 to fucking reconsider your entire fucking life trajectory! 339 00:15:19,757 --> 00:15:24,060 - Mitch-- - Shut the fuck up, Botwin! 340 00:15:24,095 --> 00:15:26,129 I saved you. 341 00:15:26,164 --> 00:15:28,465 You know what that means? 342 00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:32,002 Do the right fucking thing. 343 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,743 Listen, everybody! 344 00:15:38,777 --> 00:15:41,812 I have seen what's inside this building! 345 00:15:41,847 --> 00:15:43,981 I want you to stop, turn around, and walk away! 346 00:15:44,016 --> 00:15:47,819 There's nothing inside, for we are dying meat! 347 00:15:47,853 --> 00:15:51,489 We're meat, and we're un-special, 348 00:15:51,523 --> 00:15:55,826 and no one remembers us, and we're utterly alone! 349 00:15:55,861 --> 00:16:00,164 So do yourself a favor and walk away! 350 00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:01,765 There's no plan! 351 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,868 There's nothing but randomness and chaos 352 00:16:04,902 --> 00:16:08,872 and entropy and a slow, certain decomposition 353 00:16:08,906 --> 00:16:12,542 of everything you are and everyone you've ever loved 354 00:16:12,576 --> 00:16:19,114 into their tiny, friendless, meaty little components. 355 00:16:25,188 --> 00:16:26,656 Hey, did you get that, man?! 356 00:16:26,690 --> 00:16:28,457 I'm really serious. 357 00:16:28,492 --> 00:16:30,459 [ Horn honks ] 358 00:16:33,763 --> 00:16:34,863 How'd you find me? 359 00:16:34,897 --> 00:16:36,264 Went to your old house. 360 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:38,266 You were leaving. I followed. 361 00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:41,536 Shame. I was looking forward to one of your old barbecues-- 362 00:16:41,571 --> 00:16:43,872 Burnt meat and tecate. 363 00:16:43,906 --> 00:16:45,640 I never burn my meat. 364 00:16:45,674 --> 00:16:46,875 Oh, it's okay. 365 00:16:46,909 --> 00:16:48,410 Happens to every guy now and again. 366 00:16:48,444 --> 00:16:49,978 You're under the impression 367 00:16:50,012 --> 00:16:51,880 you could just make a joke, smile, 368 00:16:51,914 --> 00:16:53,949 do a brick dance, and somehow, what-- 369 00:16:53,983 --> 00:16:55,217 Everything becomes okay? 370 00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:56,852 Worked for me so far. 371 00:16:56,887 --> 00:17:00,990 Nah. We older. Death is closer. 372 00:17:01,024 --> 00:17:02,825 We're gonna work together again. 373 00:17:02,860 --> 00:17:05,661 You miscalculated, blanca. 374 00:17:05,696 --> 00:17:07,263 You still think of us 375 00:17:07,297 --> 00:17:10,266 as the old Nancy and the old Guillermo. 376 00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:13,235 Those two poor fuckers are so innocent. 377 00:17:13,269 --> 00:17:14,870 They don't know that they got 378 00:17:14,905 --> 00:17:17,072 10,000 miles of bad road ahead of them. 379 00:17:17,107 --> 00:17:19,408 Ah. 380 00:17:19,442 --> 00:17:22,677 They got no idea what's coming. 381 00:17:24,313 --> 00:17:25,913 [ Gun cocks ] 382 00:17:25,948 --> 00:17:27,581 Man, put down the gun, cocolo. 383 00:17:27,616 --> 00:17:29,082 No, no, no, you put down the gun, 384 00:17:29,117 --> 00:17:30,417 or I will blow this motherfucker's head 385 00:17:30,451 --> 00:17:31,785 clear to Glendale. 386 00:17:31,819 --> 00:17:34,821 Guillermo, Guillermo, I've seen the future. 387 00:17:34,855 --> 00:17:37,189 The future is in legalized pot. 388 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,391 You think the Chinese, the Vietnamese gangs are tough? 389 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,360 Corporations are the biggest thugs you've ever seen. 390 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,362 I'm offering you an in. 391 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:47,198 You let us grow here, I make you a shareholder. 392 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,533 Ground floor. 393 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,435 Forget Guillermo Garcia Gomez, criminal. 394 00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:53,538 Now it's Guillermo Garcia Gomez, board member. 395 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,473 You get a foothold in on the East Coast 396 00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:57,608 and not with Tres Seis-- You'll get in right. 397 00:17:57,643 --> 00:18:00,511 Money so clean you could-- you could see through it. 398 00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:08,753 So, what, are you guys like boyfriend and girlfriend again? 399 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,422 We were never boyfriend and girlfriend. 400 00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:12,957 Well, we-- 401 00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:15,327 No, we did it, like, what-- One time? 402 00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:17,928 - Twice. - Twice? When was the second time? 403 00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:20,631 Ah, must not have made an impression, then. 404 00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:22,667 [ Train whistle blowing ] 405 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:26,604 So what's it gonna be? 406 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:31,076 Are you gonna stay here, this low-level gangster shit? 407 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,580 You gonna come into the future, with us? 408 00:18:38,719 --> 00:18:42,922 Mm, listen, everybody-- No group therapy tonight... 409 00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:46,759 For I have good news. 410 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:50,630 A prophet came unto me-- came from the future. 411 00:18:50,664 --> 00:18:53,532 He told me that I would be a leader of men. 412 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:56,702 Right away, I knew that future Doug 413 00:18:56,736 --> 00:19:00,039 probably figured out some kind of scam. 414 00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:03,609 So I was up all last night reading tax code, 415 00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:05,611 and did you know an even better shelter 416 00:19:05,646 --> 00:19:09,182 for government tit-money than a charity is religion. 417 00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:11,985 - This is bullshit. I'm out of here. Woman: - Yeah. 418 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,655 You see? Every religion begins with a betrayal. 419 00:19:14,689 --> 00:19:18,892 So, like, at first, I'm all, "free money." 420 00:19:18,926 --> 00:19:22,662 But then I remembered that God actually did touch me. 421 00:19:22,697 --> 00:19:27,833 A few years ago, these asshole Mexicans dumped me into a grave. 422 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:34,006 I prayed to God, and a phone call saved me! 423 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,507 So, go on, Rudy! 424 00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,642 Go back to pooping in a garbage can 425 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,877 and having your nam flashbacks. 426 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,379 Or stay here with me. 427 00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:44,081 Get in on the ground floor of this thing. 428 00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:45,516 Who knows? 429 00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:47,652 This could turn out to be a big hunk of bullshit. 430 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:51,089 But it'll be our hunk of bullshit. 431 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:52,691 That's right, y'all. 432 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:56,261 This is gonna be the most awesomest fucking cult-- 433 00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:58,764 I mean religion-- in the world, 434 00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:04,604 for finally, Doug Wilson is a great man! 435 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:08,742 Now, everyone, it's time for sacraments. 436 00:20:08,776 --> 00:20:11,445 [ All murmuring ] 437 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,115 Doug... 438 00:20:14,149 --> 00:20:16,785 You know I'm not really from the future. 439 00:20:16,819 --> 00:20:18,953 I just have borderline personality disorder. 440 00:20:18,988 --> 00:20:21,756 Shut the fuck up, Greg. Sit down. 441 00:20:21,790 --> 00:20:24,425 That's right-- breathe it in. Take it in, hold it. 442 00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:27,929 Hold in Doug Wilson. Let him live inside you. 443 00:20:27,963 --> 00:20:28,997 [ Inhales deeply ] 444 00:20:30,966 --> 00:20:33,868 The idea of being a cop is maybe the only thing 445 00:20:33,903 --> 00:20:37,405 I've ever loved... including people. 446 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,241 Why would I give that up for some piece of garbage who-- 447 00:20:40,275 --> 00:20:42,410 you're right-- doesn't give a crap about me? 448 00:20:42,444 --> 00:20:44,378 Crowley: Good choice, kid. 449 00:20:44,412 --> 00:20:46,713 Now, who brought you in on the impound-yard scam? 450 00:20:46,748 --> 00:20:49,549 That said, you guys are fucking assholes! 451 00:20:49,584 --> 00:20:51,551 I don't think I want to be part of a force 452 00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:53,253 who pays cowards like you 453 00:20:53,287 --> 00:20:55,054 to get in the way of actual cops doing an actual job. 454 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,726 The fuck are you doing in here?! 455 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,895 What, you fucking came at me?! 456 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,398 [ Laughing ] What the fuck was that?! 457 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:08,133 [ Laughter ] I was in character! 458 00:21:08,168 --> 00:21:09,568 What the fuck is going on? 459 00:21:09,603 --> 00:21:11,037 Well, I got to tell you, 460 00:21:11,071 --> 00:21:12,939 for a second there, I said, "Oh, shit. 461 00:21:12,973 --> 00:21:15,908 He's gonna start singing like Melissa fucking Manchester." 462 00:21:15,943 --> 00:21:18,745 But you didn't, you beautiful little son of a bitch. 463 00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:21,114 - Mwah! - This is all a setup? 464 00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:23,016 You guys aren't Internal Affairs? 465 00:21:23,050 --> 00:21:24,451 No! 466 00:21:24,486 --> 00:21:27,788 Zapf works mail fraud. Crowley's a fucking meter maid. 467 00:21:27,823 --> 00:21:30,258 You did get fucking pulled over 'cause you're a dumb fuck, 468 00:21:30,292 --> 00:21:31,659 but that disappeared. 469 00:21:31,694 --> 00:21:33,328 Fuck you, Mitch! I almost split town! 470 00:21:33,362 --> 00:21:35,364 So you got a little fucking scared. 471 00:21:35,398 --> 00:21:38,067 You're gonna get scared a lot on this fucking job, okay? 472 00:21:38,101 --> 00:21:40,803 I had to figure out what was gonna win out in you-- 473 00:21:40,837 --> 00:21:43,472 Whether it was gonna be fear or fucking loyalty-- 474 00:21:43,507 --> 00:21:45,808 And maybe break your balls a little bit along the way, 475 00:21:45,843 --> 00:21:48,477 you fucking car thief. 476 00:21:48,512 --> 00:21:52,982 No more of that now. [ Laughing ] 477 00:21:53,016 --> 00:21:55,952 So, you want this or what? 478 00:21:58,255 --> 00:22:00,455 [ Dance music playing ] 479 00:22:00,490 --> 00:22:02,524 [ Indistinct conversations ] 480 00:22:02,558 --> 00:22:05,393 Nancy: Can I get a drink? 481 00:22:05,428 --> 00:22:08,229 Excuse me. 482 00:22:08,264 --> 00:22:12,500 Miss Nancy. I'm so sorry about before. 483 00:22:12,534 --> 00:22:15,502 This is my new husband, Federico. 484 00:22:15,537 --> 00:22:18,338 Oh, hello. 485 00:22:18,467 --> 00:22:19,305 _ 486 00:22:19,426 --> 00:22:20,772 _ 487 00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:25,579 Listen, can you e-mail me a recommendation? 488 00:22:25,613 --> 00:22:30,050 Because Courtney Cox needs a new domestic for her house in Ojai. 489 00:22:30,084 --> 00:22:33,053 No problem. Excuse me. 490 00:22:33,087 --> 00:22:36,189 Um, could I-- Oh, could I get a-- 491 00:22:36,224 --> 00:22:37,824 Mom. 492 00:22:40,528 --> 00:22:42,729 Hi, Mrs. Botwin. 493 00:22:42,763 --> 00:22:45,899 Megan-- Holy shit! Hi! 494 00:22:48,069 --> 00:22:50,870 Wow! [ Chuckling ] Wow. 495 00:22:50,905 --> 00:22:52,872 How did this happen? 496 00:22:52,907 --> 00:22:55,876 I don't know. But it's happening. 497 00:22:55,910 --> 00:22:59,012 She's gonna come back with us. 498 00:22:59,046 --> 00:23:03,516 Wow. That's, um... perfect... somehow. 499 00:23:04,818 --> 00:23:07,053 Um... wow. 500 00:23:07,087 --> 00:23:09,088 And here-- seeds. 501 00:23:09,122 --> 00:23:12,157 What's that? 502 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,896 Our future. 503 00:23:26,273 --> 00:23:29,742 Fuck it. 504 00:23:29,777 --> 00:23:33,646 [ Cork pops ] 505 00:23:33,681 --> 00:23:35,648 [ Chuckles ] 506 00:23:35,683 --> 00:23:38,985 Mm. Thanks. 507 00:23:39,019 --> 00:23:41,154 - Congratulations. - Thanks. 508 00:23:41,188 --> 00:23:43,156 And thank you for the advance. 509 00:23:43,190 --> 00:23:46,626 At least now I can pay off some of these fucking vultures. 510 00:23:46,660 --> 00:23:48,728 So you really got this-- this thing, 511 00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:50,430 whatever it is we're doing-- 512 00:23:50,464 --> 00:23:52,398 You really-- you really got it figured out? 513 00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:55,435 God willing and the creek don't rise. 514 00:23:55,469 --> 00:23:59,773 In my experience, the creek... 515 00:23:59,807 --> 00:24:02,109 She always rises. 516 00:24:02,143 --> 00:24:06,580 Maybe we'll get lucky this time. 517 00:24:06,614 --> 00:24:09,983 [ Chuckles ] 518 00:24:10,017 --> 00:24:11,851 Thank you. 519 00:24:21,094 --> 00:24:23,095 Ahh. 520 00:24:31,305 --> 00:24:33,639 You want to get out of here? 521 00:24:33,674 --> 00:24:40,646 Have you taken me to the spot where Judah died? 522 00:24:40,681 --> 00:24:45,819 I avoided driving down this street for three years. 523 00:24:45,853 --> 00:24:49,156 And it's a direct shot to, like, everything. 524 00:24:49,190 --> 00:24:52,826 Oh, my God. This is so dark. 525 00:24:52,861 --> 00:24:56,797 His CD player... was right there. 526 00:24:56,831 --> 00:24:59,299 I don't think I ever got it back. 527 00:24:59,334 --> 00:25:01,968 Do you... think these guys took it? 528 00:25:02,003 --> 00:25:04,304 Should we knock? 529 00:25:04,338 --> 00:25:05,805 "Excuse me. 530 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:07,740 My husband died in front of your house a decade ago, 531 00:25:07,775 --> 00:25:09,576 and I'm pretty sure you took his discman." 532 00:25:09,610 --> 00:25:13,746 Oh, God. This is it. 533 00:25:13,781 --> 00:25:15,248 What? 534 00:25:15,282 --> 00:25:20,119 I told myself I was coming to help you out with the kids. 535 00:25:21,622 --> 00:25:24,257 But the truth is, Nance, I was in the wilderness. 536 00:25:24,291 --> 00:25:26,492 I-I-I was nowhere. 537 00:25:27,695 --> 00:25:28,895 We all were. 538 00:25:28,929 --> 00:25:30,529 Except I still am. 539 00:25:30,564 --> 00:25:33,900 What are you saying? 540 00:25:35,536 --> 00:25:40,506 You are so, so, so, so bad for me. 541 00:25:40,541 --> 00:25:43,876 Stop. You always say this. 542 00:25:43,911 --> 00:25:46,212 I once asked you to release me. 543 00:25:46,246 --> 00:25:48,881 But you wouldn't, and so I followed you home yet again, 544 00:25:48,915 --> 00:25:50,883 - and you knew I fucking would. - Ow, ow. 545 00:25:50,917 --> 00:25:52,417 - Shut up. - And I always would. 546 00:25:52,452 --> 00:25:53,718 Shut up. You're freaking me out. 547 00:25:53,753 --> 00:25:56,221 - Fuck! - Shut up! 548 00:25:56,255 --> 00:25:57,689 I'm not going back to Connecticut with you. 549 00:25:57,723 --> 00:26:00,625 I'm done. 550 00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:03,562 [ Scoffs ] No. 551 00:26:03,596 --> 00:26:07,400 All I wanted was you. 552 00:26:07,434 --> 00:26:11,204 You were all I wanted. And you never wanted me. 553 00:26:11,238 --> 00:26:14,374 Yeah. This is how it happens. 554 00:26:14,409 --> 00:26:16,210 - I leave now. - What? 555 00:26:16,244 --> 00:26:20,214 Please say goodbye to... 556 00:26:20,249 --> 00:26:23,050 No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. 557 00:26:23,085 --> 00:26:24,051 Come on. 558 00:26:24,086 --> 00:26:26,921 Wait. No. 559 00:26:29,758 --> 00:26:32,727 Don't leave me. 560 00:26:47,811 --> 00:26:50,813 [ Clears throat ] 561 00:27:08,465 --> 00:27:11,134 Shh, shh, shh. 562 00:27:11,168 --> 00:27:12,635 [ Both moaning ] 563 00:27:24,882 --> 00:27:30,854 Oh. [ Chuckles ] Fuck, yeah. 564 00:27:32,858 --> 00:27:36,661 [ Both grunting ] 565 00:27:43,268 --> 00:27:46,237 [ Both panting ] 566 00:27:55,146 --> 00:27:57,781 [ Panting ] Wow. 567 00:28:16,469 --> 00:28:18,270 Don't. 568 00:28:18,304 --> 00:28:21,607 No, no, wait, wait. No. 569 00:28:21,641 --> 00:28:23,843 Andy! 570 00:28:23,877 --> 00:28:25,879 [ Gasping ] 571 00:28:28,315 --> 00:28:31,952 Andy! 572 00:28:31,986 --> 00:28:33,954 [ Crying ] 573 00:28:33,988 --> 00:28:35,989 [ Dogs barking in distance ] 574 00:28:40,996 --> 00:28:50,574 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 575 00:28:58,728 --> 00:29:00,354 Life goes on... 576 00:29:00,482 --> 00:29:02,080 gets more complicated... 577 00:29:02,190 --> 00:29:03,571 roads diverge... 578 00:29:03,692 --> 00:29:05,422 I love you so much. 579 00:29:05,599 --> 00:29:09,161 For eight seasons we've welcomed the Botwins into our homes 580 00:29:09,270 --> 00:29:10,709 and into our hearts. 581 00:29:10,814 --> 00:29:12,287 And after 100 episodes, 582 00:29:12,404 --> 00:29:15,818 they never learned a single solitary thing. 583 00:29:15,979 --> 00:29:17,459 _ 584 00:29:17,627 --> 00:29:20,130 Is Andy coming back? Will Nancy choose Andy or the rabbi? 585 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,356 Will Silas wind up with Megan? Will Shane wind up with Ouellette? 586 00:29:22,449 --> 00:29:24,303 Will Doug find religion? Will Guillermo find vengeance? 587 00:29:24,395 --> 00:29:25,592 How could Nancy go legit? 588 00:29:25,692 --> 00:29:27,290 And will the show that's always left you guessing 589 00:29:27,391 --> 00:29:29,271 finally leave you satisfied? 590 00:29:29,478 --> 00:29:31,435 Legendary! 591 00:29:31,523 --> 00:29:32,529 It's the one you've been waiting for. 592 00:29:32,627 --> 00:29:33,700 The one you'll never forget.