1 00:00:00,409 --> 00:00:02,743 Previously on Awkward... 2 00:00:02,745 --> 00:00:04,144 My life was full of unexpected choices. 3 00:00:04,146 --> 00:00:06,580 We've decided not to let a girl come between us. 4 00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:09,149 So you need to choose, him or me. 5 00:00:09,151 --> 00:00:10,784 You should date each other. 6 00:00:10,786 --> 00:00:13,386 But someone had to win, someone had to lose, 7 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:14,621 and I was still left to choose. 8 00:00:21,863 --> 00:00:23,564 I used to think being in love 9 00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:26,600 with two people at once only happened on reality shows, 10 00:00:26,602 --> 00:00:28,535 where finding a soul mate was nudged along 11 00:00:28,537 --> 00:00:31,171 by a dozen roses, a cheese-tastic host, 12 00:00:31,173 --> 00:00:33,173 and a camera crew up your ass. 13 00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:35,475 I never bought that bogus B.S.... 14 00:00:35,477 --> 00:00:37,444 until it happened to me. 15 00:00:37,446 --> 00:00:40,581 I didn't have to choose between Matty or Jake, 16 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:41,949 but I wanted to. 17 00:00:41,951 --> 00:00:43,550 When it came to life-altering decisions, 18 00:00:43,552 --> 00:00:46,853 I resorted to my go-to method of problem solving... 19 00:00:46,855 --> 00:00:48,622 blogging it out. 20 00:00:50,158 --> 00:00:52,859 "Pick Matty." "Pick Jake." 21 00:00:52,861 --> 00:00:54,628 "Matty is the only choice." 22 00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:56,763 "Jake is awesometown." 23 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:59,265 Turns out, my readers were as confused as I was. 24 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:00,567 "Get over it." 25 00:01:00,569 --> 00:01:03,103 "Pick a guy already." "Team Matty." 26 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:06,506 "Team Jake. Team... Jonah? 27 00:01:06,508 --> 00:01:08,575 "We have third period together. 28 00:01:08,577 --> 00:01:10,644 I'm the one with the Jew 'fro." 29 00:01:10,646 --> 00:01:11,945 Oh. 30 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:13,146 It was impossible to think 31 00:01:13,148 --> 00:01:14,648 with the peanut gallery chiming in. 32 00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:17,217 How could I possibly blog my way to an answer 33 00:01:17,219 --> 00:01:19,552 if I couldn't write my truth? 34 00:01:19,554 --> 00:01:21,722 Unless... 35 00:01:21,724 --> 00:01:23,857 I tried my hand at fiction. 36 00:01:23,859 --> 00:01:26,259 It was the six month anniversary 37 00:01:26,261 --> 00:01:28,662 of the first tryst in the utility closet, 38 00:01:28,664 --> 00:01:30,296 and Jenna couldn't stop thinking about it. 39 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:31,665 Those ill-fitting camp shirts, 40 00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:34,567 the filthy space, the cold, dank floor... 41 00:01:34,569 --> 00:01:37,337 it was the most romantic three minutes of her life. 44 00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:43,376 Jenna couldn't help but consider, 45 00:01:43,378 --> 00:01:45,045 should she finally let him turn her 46 00:01:45,047 --> 00:01:46,947 so they could spend eternity together? 47 00:01:46,949 --> 00:01:48,381 Do you know what today is? 48 00:01:48,383 --> 00:01:49,716 Tuesday. 49 00:01:49,718 --> 00:01:50,817 He didn't remember. 50 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,385 Jenna was crushed. 51 00:01:52,387 --> 00:01:55,221 She didn't realize the undead could suck so hard. 52 00:01:57,491 --> 00:02:01,161 Happy anniversary. 53 00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:04,931 He'll never be able to give you what you need. 54 00:02:04,933 --> 00:02:06,366 But I can. 55 00:02:06,368 --> 00:02:08,135 But she couldn't discount Jake, 56 00:02:08,137 --> 00:02:09,703 who she occasionally referred to as Jacob. 57 00:02:09,705 --> 00:02:12,238 Sexy in his own right and an amazing kisser, 58 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,275 Jenna could only imagine how their sex would be. 59 00:02:16,844 --> 00:02:18,545 She thought it would be hot. 60 00:02:18,547 --> 00:02:22,015 For real, Jake's body temp hovered around 150. 61 00:02:25,953 --> 00:02:27,587 My brief foray into fiction 62 00:02:27,589 --> 00:02:30,057 lead me to one obvious conclusion... 63 00:02:30,059 --> 00:02:32,125 I was a hack. 64 00:02:34,896 --> 00:02:37,030 So I wasn't all that great 65 00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,965 when left to my own devices. 66 00:02:38,967 --> 00:02:41,401 What I needed was a push in the right direction, 67 00:02:41,403 --> 00:02:43,036 or any direction. 68 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:45,906 Because I was lost, in love. 69 00:02:45,908 --> 00:02:48,141 Whenever I lost my keys, which happened a lot, 70 00:02:48,143 --> 00:02:49,409 I retraced my steps. 71 00:02:49,411 --> 00:02:51,912 Maybe I needed to retrace my past 72 00:02:51,914 --> 00:02:54,314 to figure out my future. 73 00:02:54,316 --> 00:02:56,216 "If you had a do-over with Matty, 74 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:57,517 how would you handle it?" 75 00:02:57,519 --> 00:03:00,653 A do-over... it was an interesting concept. 76 00:03:00,655 --> 00:03:03,990 And I knew exactly what I would do differently. 77 00:03:09,497 --> 00:03:11,131 I was afraid you weren't gonna show. 78 00:03:11,133 --> 00:03:14,300 - Wait, I'm not going in there. - Why not? 79 00:03:14,302 --> 00:03:15,969 Because if I do, we're gonna have sex. 80 00:03:15,971 --> 00:03:17,604 And I'll be totally into you, 81 00:03:17,606 --> 00:03:19,773 and you'll ignore me, and I'm not cool with that. 82 00:03:19,775 --> 00:03:21,474 So if you wanna get to know me, 83 00:03:21,476 --> 00:03:22,976 ask me out. 84 00:03:28,016 --> 00:03:30,550 Didn't you hear me yelling at you 85 00:03:30,552 --> 00:03:32,418 to come get your clothes when you came in? 86 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,519 Yeah, I heard you. 87 00:03:33,521 --> 00:03:35,355 I just didn't feel like doing it. 88 00:03:35,357 --> 00:03:38,091 Watch your tone, young lady, 89 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:40,526 or you can start doing your own laundry. 90 00:03:40,528 --> 00:03:42,729 This letter came for you. 91 00:03:42,731 --> 00:03:44,631 I'll take the clothes, but... 92 00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:47,600 you might wanna rethink that. 93 00:03:49,138 --> 00:03:51,304 Guys, this is Jenna. 94 00:03:51,306 --> 00:03:52,705 Hey. 95 00:03:52,707 --> 00:03:54,307 Sit next to me. 96 00:03:54,309 --> 00:03:57,110 Jenna, you would look so pretty with a makeover. 97 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,813 Oh, damn, is it "bring a freak to lunch" day? 98 00:03:59,815 --> 00:04:01,748 I totally forgot mine. 99 00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:03,049 Back off, Sadie. 100 00:04:03,051 --> 00:04:05,285 Jenna and I are together now. 101 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,020 We are? 102 00:04:07,022 --> 00:04:09,489 I hope so. 103 00:04:10,892 --> 00:04:13,193 Spoiler alert, you won't last the week. 104 00:04:13,195 --> 00:04:16,096 So forgive me if I don't commit your name to memory. 105 00:04:16,098 --> 00:04:17,597 You're welcome. 106 00:04:17,599 --> 00:04:19,032 Like a hungry coyote, 107 00:04:19,034 --> 00:04:20,633 Sadie preyed on the weak and wounded. 108 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,068 If showed any fear at all, 109 00:04:22,070 --> 00:04:24,271 she'd spend the rest of the year eating me alive. 110 00:04:24,273 --> 00:04:26,006 Well, I already know your name. 111 00:04:26,008 --> 00:04:28,074 It's Sadie Sucks-ton, right? 112 00:04:30,045 --> 00:04:33,579 Sorry. 113 00:04:33,581 --> 00:04:35,081 I'm not sorry. 114 00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:41,021 You are such a bitch. 115 00:04:41,023 --> 00:04:42,689 I like you. 116 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:47,160 So, "J", are you hanging with us today, 117 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:48,561 or are you eating at the V.I.P. table? 118 00:04:48,563 --> 00:04:49,930 It's been, like, a week. 119 00:04:49,932 --> 00:04:51,397 Well, I'd rather eat with you guys, 120 00:04:51,399 --> 00:04:52,899 but I don't wanna hurt Matty's feelings. 121 00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,400 - What about our feelings? - Come on, guys. 122 00:04:54,402 --> 00:04:56,369 It's not like I'm gonna be BFFs with Sadie 123 00:04:56,371 --> 00:04:58,571 and become popular overnight. 124 00:05:03,278 --> 00:05:05,411 Where'd you score the lactoids, Hamilton... 125 00:05:05,413 --> 00:05:07,480 sudden grown spurt or cutlets? 126 00:05:07,482 --> 00:05:09,682 - I got a boob job. - Overnight? 127 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,218 I heal fast. 128 00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:13,486 Do you think I should get implants? 129 00:05:13,488 --> 00:05:14,787 Maybe just a lift. 130 00:05:14,789 --> 00:05:16,823 And a nipple reduction. 131 00:05:16,825 --> 00:05:18,825 Hamilton, can we sidebar? 132 00:05:18,827 --> 00:05:20,693 Isn't it obvious? She's moved on. 133 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:24,630 So feel free to resume your life on the D-list without her. 134 00:05:24,632 --> 00:05:26,833 You're welcome. 135 00:05:26,835 --> 00:05:28,034 Come on, Sadie. 136 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,003 To join the mob, you proved your loyalty 137 00:05:30,005 --> 00:05:31,504 by making your first kill. 138 00:05:31,506 --> 00:05:34,640 To stay popular, I had to sacrifice my friendships. 139 00:05:34,642 --> 00:05:38,211 They're not D-listers... 140 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,645 unless you grade on a curve 141 00:05:39,647 --> 00:05:41,447 the size of her shelf-butt. 142 00:05:43,352 --> 00:05:45,485 Sorry. I'm not sorry. 143 00:05:45,487 --> 00:05:48,388 And just like that, I was made. 144 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:51,524 Nice whore-drobe, skanksquatch. 145 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:55,896 This is the first time you've come up 146 00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,764 on my radar, Miss Hamilton, 147 00:05:57,766 --> 00:05:59,165 and I hope it's the last. 148 00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:02,035 Yeah, me too. 149 00:06:02,037 --> 00:06:03,403 Why am I here? 150 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,071 Because I didn't like mean girls 151 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,439 when I was in high school, 152 00:06:06,441 --> 00:06:07,974 and I don't care for them now. 153 00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:09,309 If you're calling me a mean girl, 154 00:06:09,311 --> 00:06:10,676 you better have the proof to back it up. 155 00:06:10,678 --> 00:06:12,845 Because the way I see it, that's slander. 156 00:06:12,847 --> 00:06:14,680 Oh, no. No, no, no. 157 00:06:14,682 --> 00:06:15,982 I wasn't implying that. 158 00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:19,152 I meant that as a popular, 159 00:06:19,154 --> 00:06:21,854 envied student with good hair 160 00:06:21,856 --> 00:06:23,790 and a great set of bazooms, 161 00:06:23,792 --> 00:06:27,093 you have the opportunity to use your power for good. 162 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:29,296 Okay, val, why don't I start with you? 163 00:06:29,298 --> 00:06:31,031 Unless you keep a lid on the crazy 164 00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:32,565 and stop dressing like a Walmart greeter, 165 00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:34,767 the only action you're ever gonna get 166 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,336 is your annual visit to the gyno. 167 00:06:36,338 --> 00:06:38,438 Sorry. I'm not sorry. 168 00:06:41,323 --> 00:06:43,323 Whenever peeps bitched about high school 169 00:06:43,325 --> 00:06:45,992 being the most painful time of their lives, 170 00:06:45,994 --> 00:06:48,261 I always assumed they were losers. 171 00:06:48,263 --> 00:06:50,897 Because I was halfway through sophomore year 172 00:06:50,899 --> 00:06:52,232 and I was killing it. 173 00:06:52,234 --> 00:06:54,100 Every girl wanted to be me and 174 00:06:54,102 --> 00:06:56,802 every guy wanted to bone... except the gay ones, 175 00:06:56,804 --> 00:06:58,938 who still wanted to see my boobs. 176 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,706 But even though my life was perfect, 177 00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:02,208 I couldn't help by wonder 178 00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:04,177 why the hell was I wasting time 179 00:07:04,179 --> 00:07:06,079 recounting every little thing that happened to me 180 00:07:06,081 --> 00:07:07,980 on some lame blog? 181 00:07:07,982 --> 00:07:11,684 Blogging was stupid. 182 00:07:11,686 --> 00:07:13,253 Hey, pretty girl. 183 00:07:13,255 --> 00:07:15,688 I need your expert opinion. 184 00:07:15,690 --> 00:07:19,192 What do you think of this for the Sotos' cocktail party? 185 00:07:19,194 --> 00:07:20,993 Add earrings. Hoops, not studs. 186 00:07:20,995 --> 00:07:22,262 Change the pumps. And you might wanna 187 00:07:22,264 --> 00:07:24,297 think about busting out the spanx. 188 00:07:24,299 --> 00:07:26,866 Oh. Thanks, honey. 189 00:07:26,868 --> 00:07:29,135 I would be a mess without you. 190 00:07:29,137 --> 00:07:32,505 Oh, and this letter came for you. 191 00:07:32,507 --> 00:07:33,739 Can you read it to me? 192 00:07:33,741 --> 00:07:35,975 My nails are still wet. 193 00:07:37,411 --> 00:07:39,345 Okay. 194 00:07:40,747 --> 00:07:43,116 "Dear, Jenna, as you are now, 195 00:07:43,118 --> 00:07:47,153 you are... awesome! 196 00:07:47,155 --> 00:07:48,888 Words cannot express 197 00:07:48,890 --> 00:07:51,157 how perfect you are in every way. 198 00:07:51,159 --> 00:07:54,227 You are a role model for girls the world over, 199 00:07:54,229 --> 00:07:56,829 because you are beautiful, skinny, 200 00:07:56,831 --> 00:07:58,731 cool and stylish. 201 00:07:58,733 --> 00:08:02,868 I would not change a single thing about you. 202 00:08:02,870 --> 00:08:06,939 Love, mom." 203 00:08:13,581 --> 00:08:15,615 Thanks, Lace. 204 00:08:16,918 --> 00:08:19,352 You can go now. 205 00:08:20,787 --> 00:08:22,555 Okay. 206 00:08:24,432 --> 00:08:26,866 Wow. You look smokin'. 207 00:08:26,868 --> 00:08:29,034 I am smokin'. 208 00:08:30,605 --> 00:08:32,738 I saw Tamara at the game and she asked about you. 209 00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:34,206 You should really hang out with her sometime. 210 00:08:34,208 --> 00:08:35,808 I can't. She's a dork. 211 00:08:35,810 --> 00:08:37,477 And I don't have that luxury now. 212 00:08:37,479 --> 00:08:39,144 As the most popular girl at Palos Hills, 213 00:08:39,146 --> 00:08:41,814 it's my job to worry about what everyone thinks. 214 00:08:41,816 --> 00:08:44,350 And they think about me all the time. 215 00:08:44,352 --> 00:08:46,118 Well, for whatever it's worth, 216 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,720 Tamara misses you. Shut up. 217 00:08:47,722 --> 00:08:50,823 - No, really, she does. - No, really, shut up. 218 00:08:58,966 --> 00:09:01,333 Mmm. 219 00:09:01,335 --> 00:09:02,935 Oh, I can't be horizontal. 220 00:09:02,937 --> 00:09:04,370 I just had a blowout. 221 00:09:04,372 --> 00:09:06,839 Babe, I just got lasered! 222 00:09:06,841 --> 00:09:08,407 Lay off the merch. 223 00:09:08,409 --> 00:09:10,676 I told you, they have to settle in. 224 00:09:10,678 --> 00:09:12,812 It's been three months. 225 00:09:18,179 --> 00:09:19,779 So, are you thinking 226 00:09:19,781 --> 00:09:21,948 limo or town car for the dance? 227 00:09:21,950 --> 00:09:23,382 I told you 20 times, 228 00:09:23,384 --> 00:09:25,451 I want a black on black stretch limo. 229 00:09:25,453 --> 00:09:26,919 Do I need to write it down, 230 00:09:26,921 --> 00:09:29,722 or is reading an issue? 231 00:09:33,627 --> 00:09:35,427 Don't get mad at me for saying this, 232 00:09:35,429 --> 00:09:36,662 but someone has to. 233 00:09:36,664 --> 00:09:38,631 Jenna Hamilton's a raging bitch. 234 00:09:38,633 --> 00:09:40,365 I know. But she hasn't always 235 00:09:40,367 --> 00:09:41,634 been like that, man. 236 00:09:41,636 --> 00:09:44,269 She used to be really cool. 237 00:09:44,271 --> 00:09:48,007 She was the first girl who actually liked me for me... 238 00:09:48,009 --> 00:09:49,508 or so I thought. 239 00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:52,078 So then why do you put up with her crap? 240 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,614 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 241 00:09:54,616 --> 00:09:56,548 I'm sorry, Jenna, you're just... 242 00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:58,951 you're not the same girl I met at camp. 243 00:09:58,953 --> 00:10:00,252 You changed. 244 00:10:00,254 --> 00:10:03,255 And to be honest, I'm kinda into someone else, 245 00:10:03,257 --> 00:10:05,891 someone off the grid and... 246 00:10:05,893 --> 00:10:08,494 and normal and down to earth. 247 00:10:08,496 --> 00:10:10,930 You stupid moron. 248 00:10:10,932 --> 00:10:12,564 You can't break up with me. 249 00:10:12,566 --> 00:10:14,100 I'm breaking up with you. 250 00:10:14,102 --> 00:10:16,702 And for the record, it's not me, it's you. 251 00:10:16,704 --> 00:10:18,638 I don't need you anyway. 252 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,472 I could have anybody I want. 253 00:10:20,474 --> 00:10:23,109 I'm Jenna Hamilton! 254 00:10:32,812 --> 00:10:34,454 Since my due-over fantasy turned out 255 00:10:34,455 --> 00:10:35,687 to be more of a nightmare, 256 00:10:35,689 --> 00:10:38,324 I decided second-guessing myself 257 00:10:38,326 --> 00:10:39,758 wasn't the way to go. 258 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,660 Maybe I had made the right decision 259 00:10:41,662 --> 00:10:43,396 to go into that closet with Matty. 260 00:10:43,398 --> 00:10:46,165 "Enough about Matty. I'm pro Jake. 261 00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,167 How did you tank that relationship?" 262 00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:49,968 Thought that was pretty obvious. 263 00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:53,139 I should've told him the truth about Matty from the beginning. 264 00:10:53,141 --> 00:10:54,673 But I couldn't go back to the scene of the crime 265 00:10:54,675 --> 00:10:58,177 to right the wrong... or could I? 266 00:11:00,947 --> 00:11:02,281 Stop. 267 00:11:02,283 --> 00:11:03,482 Before you kiss me, you should know. 268 00:11:03,484 --> 00:11:04,716 That guy I've been upset about, 269 00:11:04,718 --> 00:11:06,285 it isn't you. It's Matty. 270 00:11:06,287 --> 00:11:07,553 I just had to lay it out there 271 00:11:07,555 --> 00:11:09,055 before you got further invested in me 272 00:11:09,057 --> 00:11:11,023 and I got invested in you because if I didn't, 273 00:11:11,025 --> 00:11:12,458 someone would've gotten hurt... 274 00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:14,660 namely you, with a punch to the face. 275 00:11:14,662 --> 00:11:16,562 So if given the choice between you or Matty, 276 00:11:16,564 --> 00:11:18,864 which normally I would debate for months, 277 00:11:18,866 --> 00:11:20,232 I pick you. 278 00:11:20,234 --> 00:11:21,833 This is a lot to process. 279 00:11:21,835 --> 00:11:24,136 Trust me, you'll be much happier with me 280 00:11:24,138 --> 00:11:25,371 than you'd ever be with Lissa. 281 00:11:25,373 --> 00:11:26,738 So I'll break it off with Matty, 282 00:11:26,740 --> 00:11:29,841 you get rid of Lissa, and we can be together. 283 00:11:32,879 --> 00:11:34,547 What I'm saying is, 284 00:11:34,549 --> 00:11:37,283 I don't think that either one of us has been happy. 285 00:11:37,285 --> 00:11:39,818 I feel like I need some space. 286 00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:42,221 You're transferring to another school? 287 00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:44,056 No, Liss. 288 00:11:44,058 --> 00:11:48,094 I think that we should, you know... 289 00:11:48,096 --> 00:11:50,262 - break up. - But I really like you. 290 00:11:50,264 --> 00:11:52,098 Actions speak louder than words, 291 00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:55,501 which is why I'm gonna be dating your best friend. 292 00:11:55,503 --> 00:11:56,735 What? 293 00:11:56,737 --> 00:11:58,237 Yeah. 294 00:12:00,641 --> 00:12:02,108 Should we be doing this in your room? 295 00:12:02,110 --> 00:12:04,009 In my fantasy, my mom and dad 296 00:12:04,011 --> 00:12:05,544 were out of town... a lot. 297 00:12:05,546 --> 00:12:08,280 My parents are in... Aruba. 298 00:12:08,282 --> 00:12:10,449 It was a win-win for everybody. 299 00:12:10,451 --> 00:12:12,851 Cool. 300 00:12:12,853 --> 00:12:14,320 - Ahh, yeah. - Aah. 301 00:12:14,322 --> 00:12:16,222 - Ahh. - Wait, wait. 302 00:12:16,224 --> 00:12:17,756 Ooh, don't move. 303 00:12:17,758 --> 00:12:19,057 Yeah. 304 00:12:21,596 --> 00:12:23,996 Oh, my God. 305 00:12:23,998 --> 00:12:25,598 Oh, my God. 306 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,634 "T," the sex with mind-blowing. 307 00:12:28,636 --> 00:12:30,369 It wasn't just a physical experience. 308 00:12:30,371 --> 00:12:32,971 It was emotional and spiritual. 309 00:12:32,973 --> 00:12:34,340 There was zero chemistry. 310 00:12:34,342 --> 00:12:36,175 Sorry, man. That blows. 311 00:12:36,177 --> 00:12:37,476 I don't mean to be weird, 312 00:12:37,478 --> 00:12:39,411 but was there chemistry with you and Jenna 313 00:12:39,413 --> 00:12:41,247 - the first time? - Definitely. 314 00:12:41,249 --> 00:12:42,881 So it is me. 315 00:12:42,883 --> 00:12:44,150 Damn it! 316 00:12:44,152 --> 00:12:45,684 Maybe I should try it again. 317 00:12:45,686 --> 00:12:50,022 Hey, do you mind waiting in the car? 318 00:13:04,471 --> 00:13:06,438 I wasn't sure if it was exhaustion 319 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,207 from our recent bone-a-thon, 320 00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:09,642 but Jake was acting strange. 321 00:13:09,644 --> 00:13:11,777 Maybe he was afraid I wasn't as into him 322 00:13:11,779 --> 00:13:13,279 as he was into me. 323 00:13:13,281 --> 00:13:15,581 And there was only one way to set his mind at ease. 324 00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:17,583 I love you. 325 00:13:17,585 --> 00:13:20,118 Awesome. 326 00:13:25,392 --> 00:13:27,426 Awesome? What was that? 327 00:13:27,428 --> 00:13:28,894 You need to back off. 328 00:13:28,896 --> 00:13:31,497 As in, put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it. 329 00:13:31,499 --> 00:13:33,332 You're gonna scare him away. 330 00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:34,900 But I love him. 331 00:13:34,902 --> 00:13:36,168 That's the sex talking. 332 00:13:36,170 --> 00:13:38,170 Yeah. You're in a sex trance. 333 00:13:38,172 --> 00:13:40,005 No, I'm not. 334 00:13:40,007 --> 00:13:41,340 Am I? 335 00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:42,641 You were so right. 336 00:13:42,643 --> 00:13:44,710 Jake's totally cooled it on that skitch. 337 00:13:44,712 --> 00:13:47,479 So instead of looking like an a-hole 338 00:13:47,481 --> 00:13:49,281 by punching Jenna in the face 339 00:13:49,283 --> 00:13:51,317 or putting bleach in her shampoo... 340 00:13:51,319 --> 00:13:53,185 I was just spit-balling. 341 00:13:53,187 --> 00:13:55,020 You're in the perfect position 342 00:13:55,022 --> 00:13:57,723 to swoop in and win him back. 343 00:13:57,725 --> 00:13:59,925 You're welcome. 344 00:13:59,927 --> 00:14:02,160 Now get in there... 345 00:14:02,162 --> 00:14:04,129 and act cool. 346 00:14:04,131 --> 00:14:05,864 Yeah. 347 00:14:05,866 --> 00:14:07,733 I just feel like she's suffocating me 348 00:14:07,735 --> 00:14:09,801 and I can't even talk to her about it. 349 00:14:09,803 --> 00:14:11,670 I'm sorry. Is this weird for you? 350 00:14:11,672 --> 00:14:14,039 No! I like hearing about you and Jenna, 351 00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:15,841 especially how she annoys you. 352 00:14:15,843 --> 00:14:18,377 Well, I probably shouldn't be saying this, 353 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,912 but I think I made a mistake. 354 00:14:20,914 --> 00:14:22,080 I miss you, Liss. 355 00:14:22,082 --> 00:14:23,349 Yay! 356 00:14:23,351 --> 00:14:25,183 We're back together. 357 00:14:29,056 --> 00:14:30,522 Oh, yeah. 358 00:14:30,524 --> 00:14:32,658 Jake's about to pump and dump you. 359 00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:34,526 He's getting back together with dumb-o. 360 00:14:34,528 --> 00:14:36,228 No way. We're in love. 361 00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:38,163 You're in love. He's in awesome. 362 00:14:41,334 --> 00:14:43,235 He is dumping me. 363 00:14:43,237 --> 00:14:44,436 What do I do? 364 00:14:44,438 --> 00:14:46,805 - You need a sexorcism. - No! Save face. 365 00:14:46,807 --> 00:14:49,007 Blindside him with a preemptive dump. 366 00:14:49,009 --> 00:14:51,209 But he's the one. 367 00:14:51,211 --> 00:14:54,280 Sex trance. 368 00:14:54,282 --> 00:14:55,681 Ooh. 369 00:14:55,683 --> 00:14:58,617 I have received many a similar text. 370 00:14:58,619 --> 00:15:00,753 There is no doubt about it, you are toast. 371 00:15:00,755 --> 00:15:02,821 - So how do I keep him? - We have two options. 372 00:15:02,823 --> 00:15:05,257 One, you tattoo Jake's name on your arm 373 00:15:05,259 --> 00:15:07,192 where it's visible to the viewing public. 374 00:15:07,194 --> 00:15:09,261 Then you beg him to stay together. 375 00:15:09,263 --> 00:15:11,129 He'll say yes because he's a sucker. 376 00:15:11,131 --> 00:15:14,633 And then, never get it removed. 377 00:15:14,635 --> 00:15:16,902 Or we could do it the old-fashioned way. 378 00:15:16,904 --> 00:15:20,539 I'm pregnant. 379 00:15:25,613 --> 00:15:27,613 Looks like history's repeating itself. 380 00:15:27,615 --> 00:15:29,214 Maybe you'll have a girl so you can 381 00:15:29,216 --> 00:15:31,249 pass on the legacy of slutitude. 382 00:15:31,251 --> 00:15:33,018 Just because Jake and I are back together, 383 00:15:33,020 --> 00:15:35,354 doesn't mean I'm gonna help you raise your baby. 384 00:15:35,356 --> 00:15:37,690 Unless it's, like, really cute. 385 00:15:41,928 --> 00:15:43,529 This day sucks. 386 00:15:43,531 --> 00:15:45,263 Which is what you should've done 387 00:15:45,265 --> 00:15:47,232 so you wouldn't be in this position. 388 00:15:47,234 --> 00:15:49,267 My advice, give that rugrat up for adoption. 389 00:15:49,269 --> 00:15:50,636 Cute white babies go faster 390 00:15:50,638 --> 00:15:52,204 than singles at a titty bar. 391 00:15:52,206 --> 00:15:53,739 Guys, I'm still eating for one. 392 00:15:53,741 --> 00:15:55,541 I just said that to hold on to Jake. 393 00:15:55,543 --> 00:15:57,008 You were trying to trap him? 394 00:15:58,346 --> 00:15:59,745 You make it sound so horrible. 395 00:15:59,747 --> 00:16:02,614 Jenna, it is horrible. 396 00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:06,518 So you're not pregnant? 397 00:16:08,888 --> 00:16:10,188 Sorry. 398 00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:11,657 I just didn't want to lose you. 399 00:16:11,659 --> 00:16:14,560 Even if you were, we could never be together. 400 00:16:14,562 --> 00:16:16,628 I would love that really cute baby, 401 00:16:16,630 --> 00:16:19,431 but I would never love you. 402 00:16:25,705 --> 00:16:27,373 What are you guys doing here? 403 00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:28,607 Shouldn't you be in Aruba? 404 00:16:28,609 --> 00:16:30,476 We should be. 405 00:16:30,478 --> 00:16:32,210 Seems like we're there a lot these days. 406 00:16:32,212 --> 00:16:34,212 We came home as soon as we got the news. 407 00:16:34,214 --> 00:16:35,647 I'm not pregnant. 408 00:16:35,649 --> 00:16:38,149 It was a last-ditch effort to try an keep Jake. 409 00:16:38,151 --> 00:16:40,486 Oh, thank God. 410 00:16:41,922 --> 00:16:44,790 I am far too hot to be a grandma. 411 00:16:44,792 --> 00:16:46,859 I don't trust you anymore, Jenna, 412 00:16:46,861 --> 00:16:50,763 which is why I need you to pee on this stick. 413 00:16:52,366 --> 00:16:54,332 I can't believe you're making me do this, dad. 414 00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:56,201 I'm so not... 415 00:16:56,203 --> 00:16:58,336 pregnant? 416 00:17:00,306 --> 00:17:01,673 Switch places with me, mama bear. 417 00:17:01,675 --> 00:17:04,743 You don't need to see that. 418 00:17:07,748 --> 00:17:09,281 Dodged a bullet. 419 00:17:14,315 --> 00:17:15,440 Turns out, I couldn't trust 420 00:17:15,441 --> 00:17:17,676 my instincts or my blog, 421 00:17:17,678 --> 00:17:19,912 which apparently was hijacked by an angry muse 422 00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:23,082 determined to send my do-overs off the rails. 423 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:26,485 Or was gut subconsciously trying to protect me 424 00:17:26,487 --> 00:17:28,954 from a miserable future with both guys? 425 00:17:28,956 --> 00:17:31,690 Which meant there was a third party in the mix. 426 00:17:31,692 --> 00:17:35,861 I could pick Jake or Matty or no one. 427 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:39,197 I still can't believe you blew off camp 428 00:17:39,199 --> 00:17:41,734 for summer school. It was so worth it. 429 00:17:41,736 --> 00:17:44,870 With the extra credits, I can graduate early. 430 00:17:54,413 --> 00:17:56,882 Why would you wanna do that? 431 00:17:56,884 --> 00:17:59,785 Because nothing interesting ever happens in high school. 432 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,254 Really, not even getting digitized 433 00:18:02,256 --> 00:18:05,190 by Ricky Schwartz in the back of the bus? 434 00:18:05,192 --> 00:18:08,694 You dirty little... you know what. 435 00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,200 If you had gone to camp, "J," 436 00:18:15,202 --> 00:18:16,902 maybe you'd be a woman of the world too. 437 00:18:16,904 --> 00:18:21,540 Matty McKibben worked at Camp Pookah this summer. 438 00:18:21,542 --> 00:18:24,810 Why does everyone always call that guy by his full name? 439 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,546 Like Matty McKibben would ever notice me. 440 00:18:27,548 --> 00:18:29,181 Camp levels out the playing field. 441 00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:31,150 Imagine if you guys had hooked up, 442 00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:33,552 or had sex in a closet or something. 443 00:18:33,554 --> 00:18:34,820 Boy, this year would be different. 444 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,656 Me and Matty McKibben? Yeah, right. 445 00:18:39,059 --> 00:18:41,927 Oh. Whoa. 446 00:18:41,929 --> 00:18:43,395 I'm sorry about that. 447 00:18:43,397 --> 00:18:45,397 That's okay. 448 00:18:45,399 --> 00:18:47,532 Missed one. 449 00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:51,070 Without so much as a flirtatious wink 450 00:18:51,072 --> 00:18:54,073 from Matty or a coy smile from Jake, 451 00:18:54,075 --> 00:18:55,974 the boys walked off with their girls, 452 00:18:55,976 --> 00:18:59,912 never even bothering to ask Jenna's name. 453 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,693 Isn't it great that Matty and Jake 454 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:17,830 finally came out of the closet? 455 00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:24,464 What I discovered during my journey into the world of fiction, 456 00:19:24,483 --> 00:19:27,410 one, there was no point in hoping for a do-over, 457 00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:29,857 because sometimes, they suck more than the reality, 458 00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:32,409 two, I did not want to write fiction, 459 00:19:32,584 --> 00:19:35,099 three, I couldn't write fiction, 460 00:19:35,219 --> 00:19:38,746 and four, I couldn't write the facts with an audience. 461 00:19:38,935 --> 00:19:41,393 So when it came to the boys, I had no regret. 462 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,821 If I hadn't trusted my instincts, 463 00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:48,589 I would have missed out on some amazing, and incredibly painful experiences. 464 00:19:48,626 --> 00:19:51,292 Experiences that made me who I am. 465 00:19:51,336 --> 00:19:53,426 Who paved the way for who I'd be. 466 00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:56,560 Good, bad or ugly, I was going to go with my gut, 467 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,587 if a do-over wasn't an option 468 00:19:58,593 --> 00:20:00,264 maybe a start over was. 469 00:20:00,445 --> 00:20:02,835 And I finally knew who it would be with. 470 00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:05,426 But why was I telling the public at large? 471 00:20:05,651 --> 00:20:07,534 It should be private. 472 00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:19,400 Synced and corrected by chamallow www.addic7ed.com 473 00:20:19,665 --> 00:20:20,898 Next on Awkward... 474 00:20:20,923 --> 00:20:23,932 Spin the bottle, it was a wreck of a rite of passage. 475 00:20:24,052 --> 00:20:25,797 The bottle didn't know what I wanted, 476 00:20:25,828 --> 00:20:26,992 but I did. 477 00:20:27,042 --> 00:20:30,590 Remember, all good things in my life, are closely followed by something bad. 478 00:20:30,593 --> 00:20:33,339 The other shoe is poised to drop at any moment. 479 00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:35,172 Surprise! 480 00:20:35,173 --> 00:20:36,587 Ever heard of a knock?!