1 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:11,534 So, I think it's really important 2 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:14,116 that we remember that this isn't about safety. 3 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,325 It's about fear. 4 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,458 Our children do not need to wear helmets to play soccer. 5 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:21,294 They're not helmets. They're headgear. 6 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:24,001 And do you know how many children suffered concussions this year'? 7 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:27,175 I believe it was one. Your child. 8 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:28,839 And I'm really sorry, 9 00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:31,808 but it wasn't even when he was heading the ball. 10 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,884 It was when he ran into the goalpost, so... 11 00:01:33,896 --> 00:01:34,727 That's not true. 12 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:38,023 - Dude, is that the widow? - Yep. 13 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:42,357 She was married to that rabbi who went over the cliff on Avernous Road. 14 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,315 - Swerved to avoid a bear. - I heard about that. 15 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:46,677 Protects against concussions. 16 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,826 She's the one who owns all those stores. 17 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,944 They're hot, and sweaty, and expensive, 18 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:55,624 - and you can't properly head in them. - She's rich and thin. 19 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:58,327 - Your wife's rich. - My wife's a potato. 20 00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,707 A smoothie maker. 21 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:03,253 Look, we're all here every day giving our time to the school. 22 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:05,505 - Who's her kid? - Steve Bloom. 23 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,837 Now suddenly there's an issue that affects your kid, and you show up? 24 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:09,175 Yes. 25 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:12,383 I'm here to argue for the interests of my child. 26 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,434 I think the rabbi adopted him. 27 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:17,509 Our children are in middle school. They don't need us here every single day. 28 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,272 Okay, well, I'd like to put it to a vote. 29 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,474 I wonder if she's lonely. 30 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,997 All those in favor of protective headgear for the soccer team, 31 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,152 please say "aye," 32 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,650 Aye. 33 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,777 You wonder away there, buddy. 34 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,780 Well, you still can't force them to wear it. 35 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,319 Okay. We'll see. 36 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,665 - So how'd it go? - The team is getting helmets, 37 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,292 but that doesn't mean you have to wear one. 38 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,966 That is total bullshit. I want to go to Minnesota. 39 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:50,387 Stevie, it's been a really, really hard year for both of us, 40 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,260 but I'm not sending you to boarding school. 41 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,888 I can't play spring soccer looking like a retard. 42 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,678 Did you tell them you can't head in those things? 43 00:02:57,761 --> 00:03:00,685 I did. I did. But it's not over yet, okay? 44 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,015 Of course it is. 45 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:05,485 They're gonna make us wear them, and my game is gonna suck, 46 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,688 and I'll start hating soccer, so I'll quit, 47 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,990 and then I'll just end up working in one of your stores 48 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,783 like those zombies who worship Uncle Doug. 49 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:12,984 Sounds like a plan. 50 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,617 Mom. I'm serious. 51 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,661 - I sent in the application. - Stevie, can we not do this now, please? 52 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,163 - The academics are really good, too. - Stevie! 53 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,420 After tomorrow, I'm a man. 54 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:29,214 How about we get through your Bar Mitzvah, 55 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:34,298 and then we discuss the rights and privileges of your new adult status? 56 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:35,590 Think about it. 57 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:39,346 We can skip the teen-angsty time where I eventually start to hate you, 58 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:42,268 and we could just have happy holidays. 59 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,769 It's so much healthier. 60 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,439 We spend way too much time together. 61 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,446 You're gonna make me gay. 62 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,907 Go back to class, all right? I'll pick you up at 3:00. 63 00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,652 I'm sure that there's goat's milk at my mom's house. 64 00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,207 Hey. Hey- 65 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:13,296 I'm not angry at her. Why should you be? 66 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,679 If you love me, you'll try to get along. 67 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,472 Please. 68 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:30,771 We're here for Stevie's Bar Mitzvah. Not business. 69 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:31,980 Next, please. 70 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:45,377 Speaking of which, pack of Puff Dragons, please. 71 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,756 You hear that, Flora? 72 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,969 It's time for you to give me back Mama's boobies. 73 00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,550 Don't tell her that. 74 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,847 Timmy, what don't you want to tell me? 75 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,855 You have to pick up the cake yourself tomorrow. 76 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,433 There's time between the service and the party. 77 00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,276 What the F? Can't you get it for me? 78 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:13,731 No. You know I can't. I have to maintain my boundaries. 79 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,408 - Saturdays and Sundays off. - What else? 80 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,370 Do you know what time Andy's flight gets in? 81 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:20,950 Silas handled all the correspondence with him. 82 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,702 All I know is that he RSVP'd yes. 83 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,747 Anyhoo, the caterer is on her way. 84 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,204 You have meetings with two new cup distributors on Monday, 85 00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,539 and here is a stack of stuff to sign. 86 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,749 Legal wants to talk to you about allegations 87 00:05:33,761 --> 00:05:36,049 of serving minors in stores 14 and 43, 88 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:40,717 and the DJ got your playlist, but he said that he won't play the Hava Nagila. 89 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:41,971 He says that it's a cliché. 90 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,885 It's tradition. Make him play it. 91 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:45,558 Fine. 92 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,856 - What else? - After this meeting, you're all clear. 93 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:53,069 But you do have a date on Tuesday 94 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,072 with a game theory strategist named Norman Hass. 95 00:05:56,231 --> 00:06:01,078 He's 60, divorced, two grown kids, runs half-marathons, likes to cook. 96 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,163 Oh, God. 97 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,287 - But, I can always cancel. - No. 98 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,085 All right, then, we'll talk Monday. You have a great weekend, Nancy. 99 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,584 Don't forget dry cleaner on your way home. 100 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,039 Thank you, Tim. 101 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,756 Taste-testing the product? 102 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,809 Virgin. 103 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,391 Got to keep my wits about me. 104 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,940 Not me. I'm higher than a Georgia Pine 24/7. 105 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:32,608 Perfect. 106 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:36,780 - How's life in Dixie? - It's the fucking third world. 107 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,358 I fear for my people, Nance. 108 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,159 Rest of the country has healthcare, 109 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,204 has marijuana, and tax revenue from marijuana. 110 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,579 My dumb-ass, sore-loser region invoked states' rights 111 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,534 and keeps its folks sick and angry. 112 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,003 I bought a townhouse in Chelsea. 113 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,957 My kid is being Bar Mitzvahed tomorrow. I have things to do. 114 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:59,465 - Guess my invite got lost. - I don't really like you, Crick. 115 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,546 I don't think you should have anything to do with my business. 116 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,052 Not how I see it. 117 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,509 You took my money to start it, and I took fair compensation. 118 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:08,558 - Fair? No, I don't think I would say that. - Can we please skip this? 119 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,389 I come bearing good news. 120 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,643 Starbucks wants to buy us. 121 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,281 - What? - All 50 stores. All-in. 122 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,403 How much? 123 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,793 - Why didn't they come to me? - 'Cause I went to them. 124 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,671 - It's my business. - Silas is on board. So is Doug. 125 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,503 So is Conrad. So is Mr. Garcia-Gomez. 126 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,176 Well, bully for you boys. I own 51%. 127 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:41,795 That's why I'm here. 128 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,470 We want to sell. 129 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,925 Well, we must be doing something very right if Starbucks wants to buy us. 130 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:48,969 - Oh, horse shit. - Excuse me? 131 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,479 We can all be set for life, 132 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,634 but you want to hold on to your corporate job so bad? 133 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,485 - It's my corporation. - Come on! 134 00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:00,947 Why buy the cow when you can have a bird in your hand? 135 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,785 - Go have an adventure. - I had my adventures. 136 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,362 Now I date men named Norman. 137 00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:09,907 Jesus! 138 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:13,452 What happened to you? You used to be such a spark plug. 139 00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:17,665 Time and loss have mellowed me. 140 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,335 Well, you ain't dead yet, and this is a win, not a loss. 141 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,342 Listen to me, Nancy. This is an amazing offer. Take it. 142 00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,049 I know it's the right thing. 143 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,092 Go fuck yourself. 144 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,012 You have a great Bar Mitzvah, Mrs. Bloom. 145 00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:42,273 Here it is. Camelot. 146 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:46,697 Botwinlot. Fuckingham Palace. 147 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,080 I would have sucked your dick weeks ago if I had seen this place. 148 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,082 All right. Let's go. 149 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,252 Hello? Mom? 150 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,330 Hi, Megan. 151 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:05,425 Oh, shit. She really is deaf. You weren't kidding, huh? 152 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,093 Hello. 153 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:12,435 I am Beatrice, Mitch's girlfriend. But he won't marry me. 154 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,391 - Hey... - Hey... 155 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,684 - Where's Mom? - Where's Mom? 156 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:21,903 No one's here. We just flew in. 157 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,104 I'm Tiffani. 158 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:26,199 I think it's really awesome of you to marry, you know... 159 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,490 Thank you. 160 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:37,123 So, Silas, how's business in California? 161 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,247 Oh, it's fine, Mitch. How's retirement? 162 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:41,463 It's fucking great. 163 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:45,719 I got half my bennies, and the rest I fill in with all sorts of shit I got going on. 164 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:50,891 I sold four Frank Thomas rookie cards this morning to some little Japanese fucker. 165 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:55,015 The guy must have been out of his mind to pay what he did for the Big fucking Hurt. 166 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:59,266 I mean, the guy was a solid .300 career hitter, 167 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,522 but a real disappointment when you think about it. 168 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,899 You're a real disappointment when you think about it. 169 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:08,900 It's not even lunchtime. 170 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,409 It's not every day your half-Mexican half-brother gets Bar Mitzvahed. 171 00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,332 Still can't believe that's your brother. 172 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,080 He's so much hotter than you. 173 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,252 - She looks a lot like your dad. - Funny. 174 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,627 - Has Lars met his granddaughter? - I'm not gonna talk about this. 175 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,632 Like there are any secrets left in this family. 176 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:31,339 There are plenty of secrets left in this family. 177 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,220 Secrets are the privilege of the rich. 178 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:37,137 - What the fuck does that even mean? - Never mind. It's just... 179 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,522 I've been done with secrets for years. 180 00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:42,062 - No more. - Really? 181 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:44,394 Okay- 182 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,572 Did you guys know Shane once killed a woman? 183 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,113 Welcome home. 184 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:58,412 Your dry cleaning will be ready in 53 seconds. 185 00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,834 You sure Uncle Andy's coming? 186 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,713 Of course he is. He RSVP'd. 187 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,206 He'll come. 188 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,213 - Payment received. Thank you. - He didn't come to the funeral. 189 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:10,292 Well, the funeral was about Daddy. This is about you. He'll show up for you. 190 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,551 How do you know? You don't talk to him. 191 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,311 He talks to Silas. Ask Silas. 192 00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,493 Do you even know if Silas is coming? 193 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,099 What if no one shows up? 194 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,060 What if we threw a Bar Mitzvah and no one came? 195 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,941 Then it's more cake for us. 196 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,155 And all your friends are coming. 197 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,482 They keep calling it "the Jewish party." 198 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,236 Well, it is. It's the Jewish party. 199 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,454 And you're the guest of honor. 200 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:41,035 - If Daddy were here... - Please don't go there. 201 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,002 I won't go there if you cut the shit. 202 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:46,248 And there'll be presents and cash. 203 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,007 Enough to pay for boarding school? 204 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,926 Oh, relentless. You're relentless. 205 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,755 Look who's talking. 206 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,263 This isn't my dress. 207 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,428 Hello! 208 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,691 Hello! Is anyone human here? 209 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,990 Can I get you a drink, Guru Doug? 210 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:15,535 Thank you, Cinnamon. I would like watermelon juice. 211 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,408 It's winter. There's no watermelon juice. 212 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,030 But I want some. 213 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,328 I'll find you some, Guru Doug. 214 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,586 Wow. That's impressive. 215 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,756 What can I say? She wants to make me happy. 216 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,582 - Is it working? - Fuck yeah. 217 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,964 I'm loved. I'm rich. Very rich. 218 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,136 I bought Stevie a helicopter for his Jewish party. 219 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:37,057 Have I mentioned I sleep with all three of them? 220 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,428 Sometimes at the same time. 221 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,725 It's very spiritual. 222 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:41,469 Good to know. 223 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,688 So, where's Nancy? 224 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:47,609 I called her. She had a meeting. She'll be here soon. 225 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,690 - The meeting? - The meeting. 226 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,401 - What's "the meeting"? - We got an offer. 227 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,783 - On what? - On the stores, the whole company. 228 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,579 Perfect. The rich get richer. 229 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,907 Hey. You chose a side, Officer. 230 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,536 Sorry our business became legal and ruined all your fun. 231 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,164 - I need a drink. - Honey, this young man wants a drink. 232 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,340 - What would you like? - Scotch. 233 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,298 We don't touch alcohol. Would you like a sacrament beverage? 234 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,178 What the fuck is a sacrament beverage? 235 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,971 Pot drink. What your mom sells. It's our elixir. 236 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,676 Why do you think my people all work at her shops? 237 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,519 So you can exploit them for cheap labor. 238 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:29,313 Hey, watch it. We are happy and productive. We are doing good for the world. 239 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,065 We feed the hungry, we put people to work, 240 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:36,275 and all we ask for in exchange is total devotion. 241 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,833 Who are all these people? 242 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,547 Friends. Out-of-towners. 243 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,714 - Do I even know them? - You know your brothers. 244 00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:01,891 Hopefully, Andy's in there somewhere. 245 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:09,517 Oh, my God! Is that Flora? 246 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,727 She got so big! 247 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:14,692 Nancy, lam trying to nurse. 248 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:17,570 I... I see that. 249 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:24,114 - Does the baby want another blanket? - The baby's fine. 250 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:29,210 Congratulations, Stevie. - Thanks, Megan. 251 00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:34,466 - Hey, Mom. I'm... I'm going in. - Okay, sweetie. I'll be in in a sec. 252 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:38,094 Hey, baby. 253 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:42,557 Hey. It's Nana. I'm your nana. Remember me? 254 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,602 Please, don't distract her. 255 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,265 Sorry. 256 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:57,272 So, did you guys have a good trip up? 257 00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,904 Relatively easy? 258 00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,154 Megan? 259 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,540 It's really cold out. 260 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:14,043 I'm still not exactly sure 261 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:17,296 what it is I ever did to you. 262 00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:21,387 And would it have killed you 263 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:25,842 to put her in one of those little dresses I bought'? 264 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,643 They were from Paris. 265 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:33,315 I love Silas, too, you know? 266 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:37,938 Very much. I just want him to be happy, 267 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,900 and hopefully that's what you want, too, 268 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,611 or I might have to kill you. 269 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,409 Did you say something? 270 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:52,707 Oh, I just asked if I could hold the baby, but you just... Later, okay? 271 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,879 I'll let you nurse in peace. 272 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,637 Me and Sanjay married 10 years next month. 273 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,223 I don't understand. How do you do it? 274 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:12,522 Separate bedrooms, separate bathrooms, and no questions. 275 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,772 Oh, I feel you. 276 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:16,063 - You want to see my babies? - Yeah. 277 00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:22,487 These are my boys. That's Jimmy-Jam. He big now. 278 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:27,617 And that's Tay-Tay and Freon, and that's little Obama. 279 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:30,539 Oh, so adorable, huh? 280 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,538 - You got kids? - Three girls and a boy. 281 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,331 - Yeah'? You got pictures? - Oh, no. 282 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,504 They're all grown up now. My son doesn't talk to me. 283 00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:37,751 What? 284 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,424 Oh, you can't go through life not talking to your child. 285 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:44,012 What's the matter with you? Go make that shit right. 286 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:50,226 Did Andy tell you he was coming? 287 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,473 I've had way too much cock in my mouth to be a vegan. 288 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:59,315 See, I didn't need to hear all that. I'm just trying to eat my salad. 289 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:02,021 - You ever hear from Ignacio? - No. 290 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,649 I haven't talked to him since he started his cosplay company. 291 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:08,737 So, my brother-in-law, Andy, he's supposed to be here for Stevie. 292 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,663 He should be here. 293 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,957 What the fuck is that? 294 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,913 Oh, it's from my sister, Jill. She's living in India. 295 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:22,876 It's Kali, the goddess of time and change. 296 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:29,216 You start as earthbound handmaiden, but if you ascend to celestial helpmate, 297 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:33,019 you'll share the quarters with us in Guru Doug's holy chambers. 298 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:36,267 You people are fucking nuts. You know that, right? 299 00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:37,439 Press that button. 300 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:42,695 - You just started my car. - Cool. What else can it do? 301 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:44,773 That's it. 302 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:48,030 - How's Isabel? - You mean Bruce? 303 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,906 Bruce? 304 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:55,371 Yeah. Sex change. Isabel is a boy. 305 00:17:55,449 --> 00:18:00,546 If you can only fit one finger in, she's too young. 306 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,839 Five fingers, she's too old. 307 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,593 It's the finger test. 308 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,643 You want to be a man, you got to know this shit. 309 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,599 Hey, have you heard from Andy at all? 310 00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:21,608 How much you weigh? 311 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,777 That's a personal question. 312 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:27,948 You want to wrestle, you let me know. 313 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,778 No one's eating, and I think Andy's a no-show. 314 00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:34,239 I live on a boat. 315 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,414 Sail away with me. 316 00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:40,165 - Oh, Christ. - I've always loved you, Nancy. 317 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,835 This will never happen. 318 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,173 I had to give it a shot. 319 00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:47,627 Conrad's about to be a daddy again. 320 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,838 Yeah. His wife's expecting twins any day now. 321 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,139 - That's why he ain't here. - You got kids? 322 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,101 Sure, I got kids. I got 10 kids, man. 323 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:56,677 Two of my oldest boys 324 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,729 are running bath salts up from Mexico for me now. 325 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,098 Couldn't be prouder. 326 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:05,023 - Jesus. What is this obsession with sons? - They're your legacy. 327 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:12,403 - I wish I was there, too. How's it going? - I think we've sold, maybe, two paintings. 328 00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:13,819 Which ones? 329 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:16,326 Waffle Summer and The Big One Green. 330 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,952 Oh, I love The Big Green One. 331 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:20,376 The Big One Green, not The Big Green One. 332 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,286 Oh, someone's at the door. Do you want to hold on? 333 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,960 No, but I will call you later from the hotel. Love you. 334 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:26,382 Love you. 335 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,095 - Who is it? - Flower delivery for Josh Wilson. 336 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,017 Oh, he didn't. I should be the one... 337 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,394 Oh, my God. 338 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,066 Oye, muchacho. 339 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,916 Sorry. I don't speak Spanish. 340 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,674 You don't speak Spanish? Seriously? 341 00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:12,091 Esteban Reyes Jr. doesn't speak Spanish? 342 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,553 That's wrong. That's a fucking disgrace. 343 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:20,102 So, you and my birth dad were tight, huh? 344 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:24,398 We had a complicated relationship. 345 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,568 He was brilliant. 346 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,108 And scary. 347 00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,482 I respected him. 348 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:36,903 What's that? 349 00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:44,540 I'm on this high-carb diet thing where you eat cereal in the morning 350 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,746 and then pasta the rest of the day. 351 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:50,174 I lost 12 pounds, but, man, I'm sick of it. 352 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,424 Things we do for health, huh? 353 00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:54,879 My dad was scary? 354 00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:56,930 Yeah. 355 00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,431 But in a real calm way, you know? 356 00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:02,845 Which made him even scarier. 357 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,391 He kept a white lion in the house. 358 00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:09,231 I saw him feed a snitch to it once. 359 00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:12,151 Your mother ever tell you about the lion? 360 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,152 Wait. 361 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:17,993 What? 362 00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:20,788 No. My dad was a politician. 363 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,415 He was framed by the drug cartels 364 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:26,370 for trying to fight them and then killed in prison. 365 00:21:29,747 --> 00:21:33,001 Son, your dad was a gangster, not a pussy. 366 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,341 Okay? What the hell your mother been telling you? 367 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:39,340 He wasn't killed in prison? 368 00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,300 Yeah, that part's true, 369 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:46,522 but your father was king shit narco jefe numero uno. 370 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:51,562 And you're his only son. You need to know this shit. 371 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:59,451 - Hey. - Hey, lady. 372 00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,947 You throw one hell of a shindig, 373 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:07,206 and I love that you're wearing that slinky red dress 374 00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:08,752 at your age. 375 00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:10,587 It's good on you. 376 00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:13,874 I'll see you in church. Jew church. 377 00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:15,543 Come on, people. 378 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,589 No. No, you're not. You're not driving anywhere. 379 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:20,386 - Not with my kid in the car. - Then I'll drive. Give it here. 380 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:23,718 Shane. What happened to you? 381 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,807 He became a man. 382 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,182 Come on, Bea-Bea. 383 00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:32,485 Let's make like a bread truck and haul buns! 384 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:36,989 No. No. I don't think so. 385 00:22:45,322 --> 00:22:47,040 - You want a mangosteen nectar? - Jesus Christ. 386 00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:50,495 - False prophet. It's all about me now. - I've read the articles. 387 00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:53,623 You're looking good. You still gay? 388 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,826 Still gay. Still hate you. What am I doing here, Doug? 389 00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:58,715 - I'd like to reconnect. - Oh. Go fuck yourself. 390 00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,721 I have people that'll do that for me. 391 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:04,217 Josh, I've changed. I'm enlightened now. 392 00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:06,097 Let's have a relationship. 393 00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:09,765 A relationship? You want a relationship? 394 00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:12,520 You kicked me out of the house at the age of 17, disowned me, 395 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,193 told me that you hoped that I choked on a cock, 396 00:23:14,268 --> 00:23:16,737 then you ran out on Mom and the girls and never came back. 397 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:18,280 Oh, I'm all good with them now. 398 00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:21,025 Gave your mom all the back alimony and child support, 399 00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:22,610 bought each of the girls a condo. 400 00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:24,528 - You want a condo? - No, I don't. 401 00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:27,536 And I don't have anything to say to you, so I'm leaving. 402 00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:32,541 I believe Rocket... Guru Doug is still talking to you. 403 00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:34,964 Get out of my way. 404 00:23:43,964 --> 00:23:45,841 I should have led with the condo offer. 405 00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:51,814 Andy. 406 00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:59,529 Oh, my God. 407 00:24:00,064 --> 00:24:02,112 Josh, what are you doing here? 408 00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:04,410 Doug kidnapped me and tried to get me to like him. 409 00:24:04,485 --> 00:24:05,987 Listen, I'm waiting for a cab, and it's freezing out. 410 00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:09,165 - Do you mind if I... - No, sure. Come in. 411 00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:14,332 Josh, oh, my God. 412 00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:17,539 Can I get you something to eat? 413 00:24:17,623 --> 00:24:21,594 We have teff salad, ostrich kabobs, Happy Herbert's. 414 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:23,421 We have so much food. No one ate. 415 00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,223 I'm good. Thanks. 416 00:24:26,674 --> 00:24:27,766 You... 417 00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:31,387 - You're all grown up. - Yeah. Time will do that. 418 00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:33,439 You're looking good, Ms. B. 419 00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:35,515 Keeping up on all the latest cosmetic innovations? 420 00:24:35,849 --> 00:24:37,101 I like the tiger stripes. 421 00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:41,856 Well, a girl's got to reinvent herself. 422 00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:43,615 Can I get you a drink? 423 00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:44,988 You know what? I really just... I want to get home. 424 00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:47,587 They scared my dog, and she probably peed all over the hardwood. 425 00:24:47,695 --> 00:24:49,823 Oh. You have nice floors? 426 00:24:49,905 --> 00:24:51,452 I have beautiful floors. 427 00:24:53,409 --> 00:24:54,752 Are you happy? 428 00:24:55,411 --> 00:25:00,383 I'm good. I got to say, I'm... I'm really good. 429 00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:03,631 I'm glad, Josh. I'm really glad. 430 00:25:03,711 --> 00:25:04,963 You're married? 431 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:06,888 A painter. Alan Spiller. 432 00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:10,142 No kidding! I own The Big Blue One. 433 00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:12,015 - The Blue One Big. - Right, right. 434 00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:17,441 How funny is that? He's your husband. He's so talented. 435 00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:19,777 - Are you an artist, too? - I'm a lawyer. 436 00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:22,029 Oh! Sorry. 437 00:25:22,104 --> 00:25:23,864 I know. Well, I always was good at bullshit. 438 00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:25,319 I mean, at least now they're paying me for it, right? 439 00:25:25,399 --> 00:25:27,618 But I'm all solid-citizen and everything. 440 00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:29,366 - Kids? - Talking about it. 441 00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:34,158 Well, just pray they don't grow up to be teenagers like you were. 442 00:25:34,992 --> 00:25:36,494 I turned out all right. 443 00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:40,589 Yeah. How does that happen? 444 00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:43,171 You get lucky, therapy, 445 00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:47,926 and I got to say that Doug was a piece of shit, but my mom was awesome. 446 00:25:48,589 --> 00:25:50,057 Is awesome. 447 00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:51,975 I mean, she always fought for me. 448 00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,388 That's me. 449 00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:58,766 Listen, it's really good seeing you, Ms. B. 450 00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:01,609 - Take care. - You, too, Josh. 451 00:26:02,436 --> 00:26:04,734 - You look hot. - Yeah. Thanks. 452 00:26:17,743 --> 00:26:19,120 Silas. 453 00:26:22,498 --> 00:26:24,546 I changed her last. 454 00:26:24,875 --> 00:26:25,876 It's your mother. 455 00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:31,553 - What time is it'? - It's very late, and Andy's not here yet. 456 00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:33,676 Mom, I'm sleeping. 457 00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:36,815 What time was his plane supposed to get in? 458 00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,643 He said he'd be here for dinner. 459 00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:42,476 How often do you talk to him? 460 00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:45,896 Not a lot. 461 00:26:45,979 --> 00:26:47,947 He got really busy after the restaurant opened. 462 00:26:48,148 --> 00:26:49,570 What restaurant? 463 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:54,034 Why won't he talk to me? What's his problem? 464 00:27:03,163 --> 00:27:04,380 Andy lives in Ren Mar. 465 00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:08,302 Really? In that house? 466 00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:11,592 Redid the whole place. Looks great. 467 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:14,220 And Lenny? 468 00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:16,427 He died four years ago. 469 00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:21,849 Andy said Lenny's last words were, "You got to be fucking kidding me." 470 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:26,983 And he's got a daughter. 471 00:27:29,022 --> 00:27:30,239 She's three. 472 00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:33,368 Her name's Leni, but with an "I." 473 00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:35,241 L-E-N-I. 474 00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:38,873 - Like Riefenstahl? - Who? 475 00:27:39,449 --> 00:27:41,543 A not-good namesake. 476 00:27:42,703 --> 00:27:45,502 Yeah, well, she's a pistol. 477 00:27:46,790 --> 00:27:49,794 And beautiful. 478 00:27:51,044 --> 00:27:52,466 Sassy. 479 00:27:53,422 --> 00:27:54,890 He's amazing with her. 480 00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:59,554 And the... The mother? 481 00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:00,975 Her name's Annika. 482 00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:03,410 She was a waitress at the restaurant. 483 00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:06,568 He always loved waitresses. 484 00:28:07,728 --> 00:28:11,028 "They bring you food, and when you sit, their boobs are at eye level." 485 00:28:16,153 --> 00:28:17,700 Are they married? 486 00:28:18,572 --> 00:28:20,745 No. Friends. 487 00:28:21,742 --> 00:28:24,746 They share custody. All amicable. 488 00:28:25,287 --> 00:28:27,085 He has a restaurant. 489 00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:31,301 That's perfect. 490 00:28:31,585 --> 00:28:34,179 It's nice. It's small. 491 00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:37,599 It's one of those places that people come, and he just cooks whatever he feels like. 492 00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:40,644 All fresh and seasonal and everything. 493 00:28:42,596 --> 00:28:44,269 He's been written up a few times. 494 00:28:48,227 --> 00:28:51,106 He's made a very sweet life. 495 00:28:56,443 --> 00:28:58,036 I think he's happy, Mom. 496 00:28:58,195 --> 00:29:00,994 - Yeah? - Yeah. 497 00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:06,336 He's not coming, is he? 498 00:29:44,241 --> 00:29:48,838 Making frittatas. Leek and asparagus. 499 00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:54,168 You know, we got lots of leftovers. 500 00:29:54,334 --> 00:29:56,382 Yeah, well, still gonna make them. 501 00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:59,632 Where is everybody? I figured there'd be a full house. 502 00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:02,138 - Andy! 503 00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:04,595 Look at that little nipple sucker! 504 00:30:04,678 --> 00:30:08,023 Hi, Flora. Hey, you delicious little thing. 505 00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:10,146 It's your Uncle Andy. I know it's been a while. 506 00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:12,227 You remember me'? Huh? 507 00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:14,734 Is that a tooth? Do I see a tooth? 508 00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:16,315 - Two. - Two teeth? 509 00:30:16,398 --> 00:30:17,695 Good work. 510 00:30:19,026 --> 00:30:24,658 - Nancy, do you have any goat milk? - No, I have oat and hemp. 511 00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:27,827 - But no goat? - No goat. Sorry. 512 00:30:28,368 --> 00:30:31,042 Your daddy should listen to me, shouldn't he? 513 00:30:31,371 --> 00:30:33,624 - You only like goat milk. - Oh, no. 514 00:30:33,707 --> 00:30:36,130 Hey, would you run to the store, then, Nance? 515 00:30:36,209 --> 00:30:37,927 I would go, but I'm in the middle, here. 516 00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:42,382 Yes. I'll see you in a bit. 517 00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:24,012 Our scripture says how good it is 518 00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:27,686 when brothers and sisters can dwell together in harmony. 519 00:31:27,761 --> 00:31:29,513 Today let us come together and worship 520 00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:32,395 as these two young people show what they have learned, 521 00:31:32,474 --> 00:31:33,521 what they have been, 522 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,355 and demonstrate what they mean to our people and to our nation, 523 00:31:37,437 --> 00:31:39,110 and let us say, Amen. 524 00:31:39,189 --> 00:31:40,486 Amen. 525 00:31:47,781 --> 00:31:52,958 My Torah portion is Exodus, and I wrote a whole nice speech 526 00:31:53,036 --> 00:31:56,711 about how it's a metaphor for the immigrant experience, 527 00:31:56,790 --> 00:31:59,134 but I'm not gonna read that. 528 00:32:00,127 --> 00:32:05,634 I wrote a new speech last night, and I like it better, 529 00:32:06,133 --> 00:32:08,636 so that's what I'm gonna read. 530 00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:13,898 My name is not really Steven Bloom. 531 00:32:14,349 --> 00:32:19,321 I mean, David Bloom adopted me, and I loved him very much, 532 00:32:19,521 --> 00:32:23,446 but before I was Steven Bloom, I was Steven Botwin, 533 00:32:23,733 --> 00:32:26,327 and that wasn't right, either. 534 00:32:27,154 --> 00:32:31,910 Because, really, I'm Esteban Reyes Jr. 535 00:32:32,826 --> 00:32:36,797 My father was a Mexican gangster and drug kingpin, 536 00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:39,295 and the former mayor of Tijuana. 537 00:32:39,833 --> 00:32:42,712 And I think he was Catholic. 538 00:32:43,753 --> 00:32:46,176 And my mother is Methodist. 539 00:32:47,716 --> 00:32:53,018 I know she converted for Dave, but, seriously, once a Methodist... 540 00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:57,184 So, I'm not Jewish. 541 00:32:58,185 --> 00:32:59,186 At all. 542 00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:02,193 My brothers are half Jewish. 543 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:04,574 Maybe not Silas. 544 00:33:05,525 --> 00:33:07,198 My uncle is full-on, 545 00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:12,370 and the man I called "Dad" for years was a rabbi. 546 00:33:14,409 --> 00:33:18,334 But, nope, not me. 547 00:33:19,372 --> 00:33:20,965 I am not chosen. 548 00:33:23,293 --> 00:33:26,888 And, honestly, I don't choose to be. 549 00:33:28,215 --> 00:33:30,638 I don't know what my religion is. 550 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:35,105 It may turn out to be there-is-no-God-ism. 551 00:33:36,056 --> 00:33:40,903 I'll let you all know where I land. 552 00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:48,324 In the meantime, I'd like to take this time to call bullshit on this whole show, 553 00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:50,199 which is what it is. 554 00:33:50,737 --> 00:33:55,743 It's one big show for family and friends to feel good about, 555 00:33:56,243 --> 00:34:01,921 but I don't feel so good, and I don't know who I am. 556 00:34:04,501 --> 00:34:06,595 And I want to go to boarding school. 557 00:34:10,674 --> 00:34:12,221 Thank you. 558 00:34:12,968 --> 00:34:16,097 China Birenbaum-Katz will speak next about Shimini. 559 00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:26,189 Oh, my God. 560 00:34:26,273 --> 00:34:29,322 I don't think I'm Jewish, either. I'm Chinese, for God's sake. 561 00:34:29,401 --> 00:34:31,779 You're Jewish, China. You are Jewish. 562 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:33,742 And Mom and I love you. 563 00:34:33,822 --> 00:34:38,043 We love you, China. Give your speech. Don't let him throw you. This is your day. 564 00:34:40,996 --> 00:34:44,170 Thank you so much for coming. The party's still on. 565 00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:47,462 Thank you. Hi. Thank you so much for coming. 566 00:34:47,877 --> 00:34:49,049 Thank you... 567 00:34:50,463 --> 00:34:53,307 He was awesome. Worth the trip. 568 00:35:09,316 --> 00:35:10,784 Are you gonna yell at me? 569 00:35:12,235 --> 00:35:13,578 No. 570 00:35:14,237 --> 00:35:17,081 - And we're still having the party? - Yes. 571 00:35:17,282 --> 00:35:20,877 We are still having the party. 572 00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:22,496 Are you mad? 573 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,755 You know, I'm not. 574 00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:34,091 I'm... I'm really not. 575 00:35:36,343 --> 00:35:38,391 That was... 576 00:35:41,056 --> 00:35:42,478 Quite a speech. 577 00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:46,194 Why didn't you tell me the truth about my dad'? 578 00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:50,235 What is the truth about your dad? 579 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,995 Guillermo said he was a king, and I'm the prince. 580 00:36:00,950 --> 00:36:04,705 When you wiki him, none of the stuff Guillermo talks about comes up. 581 00:36:05,205 --> 00:36:07,549 You can't believe everything you wiki, huh? 582 00:36:09,542 --> 00:36:12,421 - And, technically, you are Jewish. - What are you talking about? 583 00:36:12,629 --> 00:36:15,678 You had a bris. You entered into the covenant. 584 00:36:15,757 --> 00:36:19,682 Andy insisted on it. If anyone's your real father, it's him. 585 00:36:23,890 --> 00:36:26,643 Just what I need. More fathers. 586 00:36:29,062 --> 00:36:34,068 But you look like Esteban. He was 587 00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:37,947 very handsome. 588 00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:44,707 And he was so proud to have a son. 589 00:36:48,665 --> 00:36:50,884 Your history is very confusing to me. 590 00:36:54,838 --> 00:36:56,556 I'm gonna let you go to boarding school. 591 00:36:57,757 --> 00:37:01,011 - Are you serious? - I'm serious. 592 00:37:08,268 --> 00:37:11,272 Go. Play soccer. 593 00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:15,150 Make friends. Never learn to hate me. 594 00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:20,572 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 595 00:37:20,989 --> 00:37:23,617 Sit down, Prince Steven. 596 00:37:25,034 --> 00:37:28,629 Eat your leftovers. Save your energy for the party. 597 00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:43,395 Come on! I need you to come get the cake with me. 598 00:37:43,470 --> 00:37:48,522 - Mom, I have a really bad... - Now! Do it! Move it! Now! 599 00:37:49,726 --> 00:37:51,728 Mommy wants to spend some time with you, okay? 600 00:38:05,825 --> 00:38:08,374 I'm talking about getting you some help, Shane, 601 00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:11,081 - 'cause you're not doing very well. - I'm doing fine. 602 00:38:11,831 --> 00:38:13,333 Can I help you? 603 00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:16,677 Hey. Picking up. Bloom. 604 00:38:17,796 --> 00:38:20,675 - Do you guys have a bathroom? - Sorry. Employees only. 605 00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:22,634 It's cool, sweetheart. It's cool. 606 00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:26,642 These florentines? Fuck, yeah, florentines. 607 00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:36,439 It's supposed to say, "Mazel Tov, Stevie." 608 00:38:36,731 --> 00:38:37,948 Okay- 609 00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:45,703 14 letters times $1.50 comes to $21.50. 610 00:38:46,407 --> 00:38:48,501 - What the fuck are you talking about? - Shane, please. 611 00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:52,001 Each letter costs $1.50. 612 00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:54,583 - Letters are free. - Who say letters are free? 613 00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:56,376 Me. The police. 614 00:38:56,751 --> 00:38:59,049 The Constitution! The First Amendment! But it's cool. It's cool. 615 00:38:59,128 --> 00:39:01,802 I'll buy your vowel, Princess Florentine Cookie. 616 00:39:01,881 --> 00:39:04,134 I'll let you fleece me for my A's and my B's 617 00:39:04,217 --> 00:39:06,891 and my L-M-N-O's while I stand here like some dope, 618 00:39:06,970 --> 00:39:08,643 some big fucking dope. 619 00:39:09,931 --> 00:39:13,026 - You said, "Mazel Tov, Steven"? - Stevie! 620 00:39:13,101 --> 00:39:16,605 S-T-E-V-I-E! 621 00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:27,665 How much is it now? 622 00:39:28,241 --> 00:39:29,834 You're lucky I'm Russian. 623 00:39:58,605 --> 00:40:00,699 It's lonely at the top. I miss you, man. 624 00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:03,951 Did you hear Dean's little girl got a dick now? 625 00:40:04,068 --> 00:40:07,163 I know. He put up my drywall. Does great work. 626 00:40:07,614 --> 00:40:10,242 Look at this. Celebration of manhood. 627 00:40:10,867 --> 00:40:13,791 Family all together. It's beautiful. 628 00:40:13,995 --> 00:40:15,997 I'm not sure why the kid's dressed like Scarf ace. 629 00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:21,553 My one regret about leaving was not seeing him grow up. 630 00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:26,633 I got to go. 631 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,596 - Who is it? - UPS. 632 00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:35,580 You've got to be fucking kidding me. 633 00:40:41,230 --> 00:40:44,404 Shane, come home. Live with me. 634 00:40:44,484 --> 00:40:46,532 - You can have your old room back. - Mom. 635 00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:50,206 I'm not making this offer because I'm afraid to be alone. 636 00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:51,954 I'm making it because I'm your mother, 637 00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:54,627 and I care about you, and you're not in a good way. 638 00:40:54,702 --> 00:40:56,875 - L... - Hear me out. 639 00:40:57,622 --> 00:40:58,919 It's time to grow up. 640 00:40:58,998 --> 00:41:02,002 I don't think moving back in with my mommy is gonna help me grow up. 641 00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:03,503 You shot a cake. 642 00:41:03,670 --> 00:41:05,923 I know. I know. I'm a mess. I'm gonna deal with it. 643 00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:08,095 - How? - I'll break up with Tiffani. 644 00:41:08,174 --> 00:41:09,471 Not good enough. 645 00:41:09,801 --> 00:41:12,224 - I'll take some time off. - More. 646 00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:15,933 - I'll see a therapist. - Almost there. 647 00:41:18,309 --> 00:41:19,731 I'll check into rehab. 648 00:41:21,938 --> 00:41:23,190 Good. 649 00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:26,826 Ouellette went to this place in the Catskills that... 650 00:41:26,901 --> 00:41:31,247 You may not do anything Ouellette has done. 651 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:35,201 Okay- 652 00:41:37,537 --> 00:41:39,631 I'll find a different place. 653 00:41:40,456 --> 00:41:42,299 I'll get real help. 654 00:41:43,126 --> 00:41:44,924 Professional help. 655 00:41:50,216 --> 00:41:51,217 I'm ready. 656 00:41:53,678 --> 00:41:54,930 Good. 657 00:41:56,723 --> 00:41:59,192 Maybe we can find you a rehab place in Pittsburgh. 658 00:42:13,656 --> 00:42:15,408 I'm very fond of you. 659 00:42:23,750 --> 00:42:25,002 You want a jackfruit smoothie? 660 00:42:27,253 --> 00:42:28,425 I had more I wanted to say. 661 00:42:28,504 --> 00:42:31,474 - You ever heard of a phone? - I wanted to do this face-to-face. 662 00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:33,096 I'm a face-to-face guy. It's one of my things. 663 00:42:33,259 --> 00:42:36,809 I conduct a whole face-to-face weekend in Idyllwild every Arbor Day. 664 00:42:36,888 --> 00:42:40,062 Three grand per head. That includes soup, jerky and a tote bag. 665 00:42:41,684 --> 00:42:44,358 Josh, wait! Wait! I sucked a dick once. 666 00:42:49,067 --> 00:42:50,694 Jesus, Dad. 667 00:42:50,777 --> 00:42:54,702 Guru Dad, actually. But that is not the point. 668 00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:58,001 Josh, please come back. Hear me out. Please? 669 00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:01,121 I fucked up. 670 00:43:03,498 --> 00:43:09,050 I have a blind cousin. You two should meet. 671 00:43:12,256 --> 00:43:14,054 - Hey, guys... - Hey. 672 00:43:14,133 --> 00:43:17,433 Hey, baby. You want to dance with Nana? 673 00:43:19,472 --> 00:43:25,150 Megan, I had three babies of my own. I promise I won't break her. 674 00:43:34,862 --> 00:43:35,909 Okay- 675 00:43:35,988 --> 00:43:42,086 I tried to be nice, I tried to be generous, and she treats me like I beat you 676 00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:44,664 and put cigarettes out on your arm. 677 00:43:46,332 --> 00:43:48,255 I tried to do what was in our best interests. 678 00:43:48,334 --> 00:43:54,592 I probably failed often and spectacularly, but you turned out to be a remarkable man, 679 00:43:54,674 --> 00:43:56,676 so I must have done something right? 680 00:44:00,555 --> 00:44:04,685 God damn it, Silas. Make your wife be nice to me. 681 00:44:06,185 --> 00:44:08,028 Like I can make her do anything. 682 00:44:08,479 --> 00:44:11,733 She's gonna do and say and feel whatever she wants. 683 00:44:11,816 --> 00:44:14,740 There's nothing I can or will do about it. 684 00:44:16,696 --> 00:44:21,076 I love you, Mom, but she's where I live. She's how I spend my days. 685 00:44:22,410 --> 00:44:23,627 Oh, my God. 686 00:44:23,703 --> 00:44:25,623 You like it... You like it when she's mean to me. 687 00:44:25,663 --> 00:44:27,290 You resent me, and you can't say it. 688 00:44:28,082 --> 00:44:30,460 If I have a problem with you, I'll tell you. 689 00:44:30,543 --> 00:44:32,423 I don't need my wife to stick her hand up my ass 690 00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:33,846 and make my mouth move. 691 00:44:35,715 --> 00:44:38,093 Were you mother of the year'? No. 692 00:44:39,051 --> 00:44:40,428 Did you hurt me? Yes. 693 00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:44,189 Do I carry around resentment 694 00:44:44,265 --> 00:44:47,144 and spend my days railing against what could have been 695 00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:49,103 if only I'd had a normal childhood? 696 00:44:51,355 --> 00:44:52,572 I don't. 697 00:44:53,858 --> 00:44:55,235 I really don't. 698 00:44:58,988 --> 00:45:04,119 I wake up in the morning, I kiss my baby, and I kiss my beautiful wife. 699 00:45:06,245 --> 00:45:10,341 I swim in the ocean, and I grow my plants, and I feel lucky. 700 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,638 Sorry, Mom. 701 00:45:21,385 --> 00:45:22,853 It's not about you. 702 00:45:32,271 --> 00:45:33,739 Yeah. 703 00:45:52,458 --> 00:45:55,086 Oh, thank God. Where the hell have you been? 704 00:45:55,169 --> 00:45:58,218 I have been so worried. I almost called the police. 705 00:45:58,297 --> 00:46:01,392 I checked the home cam, and Barbie has peed all over the floor. 706 00:46:01,634 --> 00:46:03,261 I made up with my dad. 707 00:46:05,638 --> 00:46:06,685 Holy shit. 708 00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:09,313 Yep. I guess they're ice skating in hell about now. 709 00:46:12,645 --> 00:46:14,113 Ain't life strange? 710 00:46:21,445 --> 00:46:22,492 Hey. 711 00:46:38,963 --> 00:46:40,840 Oh, God. 712 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:48,185 Come here. 713 00:47:01,861 --> 00:47:03,829 I'm sorry about your dad. 714 00:47:06,032 --> 00:47:08,660 "He didn't die. He busted out of the game." 715 00:47:08,743 --> 00:47:11,246 That's what he had me put on his headstone. 716 00:47:11,329 --> 00:47:15,960 And you have a kid, who you named after a Nazi. 717 00:47:16,042 --> 00:47:18,716 Well, she was a pioneer of filmmaking. 718 00:47:18,836 --> 00:47:21,430 I don't believe in holding grudges. 719 00:47:22,131 --> 00:47:23,633 I missed you. 720 00:47:25,259 --> 00:47:27,011 Silas seems happy. 721 00:47:27,094 --> 00:47:29,062 Yeah. Megan's good for him. 722 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,024 And Shane... 723 00:47:32,099 --> 00:47:34,648 Shane needs a new circle of friends. 724 00:47:35,436 --> 00:47:36,483 You think? 725 00:47:39,231 --> 00:47:40,232 Come back. 726 00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:46,205 It won't be like it used to be. It'll be better. 727 00:47:47,573 --> 00:47:49,173 Nance, my plane leaves tomorrow morning, 728 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,670 I have Leni at 3:00, Annika has to get to work by 4:00. 729 00:47:53,079 --> 00:47:57,755 Sunday is daddy-daughter movie night. We're seeing Herbie The Love Bug. 730 00:47:57,917 --> 00:48:01,592 I'll give you 40% of the business. 731 00:48:02,463 --> 00:48:03,965 50%. 732 00:48:04,256 --> 00:48:06,179 Equal partners. What you always wanted. 733 00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:10,555 I don't want 50% of your business. 734 00:48:10,763 --> 00:48:14,358 Take it all. The whole thing. 735 00:48:14,433 --> 00:48:17,687 Take all the money, and... And start your own restaurant here. 736 00:48:17,770 --> 00:48:22,571 God knows downtown needs it. And you can... You can bring your kid. 737 00:48:23,442 --> 00:48:26,321 You know that yard at the house? 738 00:48:26,862 --> 00:48:32,369 We'll get a big swing set with a tower thing 739 00:48:32,451 --> 00:48:34,954 and a tube slide. 740 00:48:35,204 --> 00:48:40,461 And there's a hill up the street, and I have two toboggans in the garage... 741 00:48:40,543 --> 00:48:43,262 The nice wood kind. 742 00:48:43,921 --> 00:48:47,471 Your kid should toboggan and... And jump in leaves 743 00:48:49,468 --> 00:48:54,565 and walk in the gray, dirty slush the day after it snows, 744 00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:56,734 get salt stains on her shoes. 745 00:48:57,143 --> 00:49:00,568 She should know the feeling of walking to school in a blizzard 746 00:49:01,981 --> 00:49:06,327 and not feeling her own limbs. It builds character. 747 00:49:06,610 --> 00:49:09,079 Nance, I have a life I like. I'm not leaving it. 748 00:49:11,782 --> 00:49:12,908 Okay- 749 00:49:13,659 --> 00:49:16,708 I get it. Surf. You want surf. 750 00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:18,585 I'll come to you. 751 00:49:19,165 --> 00:49:21,588 I lived in Ren Mar before. I'll do it again. 752 00:49:21,667 --> 00:49:24,591 I don't need the house. I'll sell it. It's just a reminder. 753 00:49:24,670 --> 00:49:25,671 Stop it. 754 00:49:25,754 --> 00:49:29,304 Andy, my husband is dead, and my family... 755 00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:30,509 Stop it. 756 00:49:31,594 --> 00:49:33,016 You're gonna be fine. 757 00:49:35,347 --> 00:49:37,941 Things happen. Things change. We can't control it. 758 00:49:38,017 --> 00:49:40,486 But the one thing that you can control is how you think about it. 759 00:49:40,561 --> 00:49:44,907 So look at it this way, you're free. You did your job. Now it's done. 760 00:49:45,816 --> 00:49:48,365 No one there to answer to. 761 00:49:48,861 --> 00:49:52,365 - No one to come home to. - No one to hold you back 762 00:49:53,282 --> 00:49:55,626 from becoming the person you always wanted to be, 763 00:49:55,701 --> 00:49:57,374 doing only what you want to do. 764 00:49:59,205 --> 00:50:00,923 Who is that? 765 00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:03,380 What is that? 766 00:50:04,585 --> 00:50:06,337 Time for you to figure it out. 767 00:50:13,052 --> 00:50:15,430 You helped me when I was lost, gave me a home. 768 00:50:19,183 --> 00:50:21,982 A family and purpose. 769 00:50:23,229 --> 00:50:25,072 And I'll always be grateful to you. 770 00:50:25,272 --> 00:50:29,493 And I'll always, always love you, Pants, but I can't be near you. 771 00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:33,368 That doesn't work. But you're gonna be fine. 772 00:50:33,447 --> 00:50:37,168 You're so strong. So, time for you to face yourself. 773 00:51:04,603 --> 00:51:06,321 Okay, fine. Sell. 774 00:51:06,564 --> 00:51:10,364 Sell it. I'm done. Let it go. 775 00:51:12,278 --> 00:51:15,077 You made me happier than a puppy with two peckers, Nancy. 776 00:51:15,155 --> 00:51:17,624 - Yeah, yeah. - I really think you're making... 777 00:51:21,245 --> 00:51:23,088 And then there were none. 778 00:51:57,197 --> 00:51:59,871 Before we eat dessert, I just want to thank you all 779 00:51:59,950 --> 00:52:02,794 for coming to my almost-Bar Mitzvah. 780 00:52:04,079 --> 00:52:09,757 I want to thank my brother Silas and Megan, and my Uncle Andy and Uncle Doug, 781 00:52:09,835 --> 00:52:13,465 and all my mom's friends who flew in from California. 782 00:52:13,797 --> 00:52:17,267 I want to thank my brother Shane and all my friends. 783 00:52:17,343 --> 00:52:19,016 I love you all. 784 00:52:20,054 --> 00:52:22,728 But most of all, I want to thank you, Mom. 785 00:52:25,893 --> 00:52:29,363 You've always been there for me, and I love you. 786 00:52:34,985 --> 00:52:38,660 And I'm going to boarding school next year, so let's party!