1
00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:02,966
Andy's coming back today.
2
00:00:05,603 --> 00:00:08,797
Andy's coming back today.
Ha!
3
00:00:09,561 --> 00:00:11,080
Andy's coming back today.
4
00:00:11,113 --> 00:00:13,414
David Wallace sent him
on an outward-bound
5
00:00:13,469 --> 00:00:15,459
wilderness adventure
for a whole month
6
00:00:15,519 --> 00:00:17,475
to make him more decisive
and confident.
7
00:00:17,525 --> 00:00:19,200
He sent his own son too.
8
00:00:19,290 --> 00:00:23,142
And the counselor said
they both grew up big time.
9
00:00:25,847 --> 00:00:28,735
How was my summer?
It was pretty mixed.
10
00:00:28,803 --> 00:00:31,538
I invented a new power drink
made of beet run-off.
11
00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:36,038
Mmm. Mmm!
So that's really good.
12
00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:39,979
But I got some disappointing
medical news.
13
00:00:40,811 --> 00:00:42,345
Mr. Schrute,
the results are in.
14
00:00:42,413 --> 00:00:45,281
- You're not the father.
- I told you.
15
00:00:47,651 --> 00:00:50,653
Oh, God!
Oh, my God!
16
00:00:50,721 --> 00:00:53,323
Oh, what a summer.
17
00:00:53,390 --> 00:00:55,591
An emotional roller coaster.
18
00:00:55,659 --> 00:00:58,328
I ran over a turtle
in the parking lot...
19
00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:04,300
But then I saved him by gluing
his shell back together.
20
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:06,502
But I'm not that good
at puzzles...
21
00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:08,604
Oh, that piece doesn't
go there.
22
00:01:08,672 --> 00:01:10,106
Shh.
23
00:01:10,174 --> 00:01:14,377
So I patched him with stuff
from around the office.
24
00:01:14,445 --> 00:01:17,714
But I couldn't get
the pieces to fit right.
25
00:01:17,781 --> 00:01:22,285
Then, one day, while I was
reaching for the glue,
26
00:01:22,353 --> 00:01:25,054
I crushed his shell again.
27
00:01:25,122 --> 00:01:28,991
But I rebuilt him even better
that time.
28
00:01:29,059 --> 00:01:34,964
But it turned out
the turtle was already dead.
29
00:01:35,032 --> 00:01:39,402
Probably when I ran over him
the first time.
30
00:01:39,470 --> 00:01:43,373
For us, um...
Nothing new, really.
31
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,407
The kids are great.
32
00:01:44,475 --> 00:01:45,775
You are really good at modesty.
33
00:01:45,843 --> 00:01:47,844
She's a genius. She painted
this incredible mural
34
00:01:47,911 --> 00:01:49,145
in the kids' room.
35
00:01:49,213 --> 00:01:50,847
There's a hippo leading
a parade of 500 children--
36
00:01:50,914 --> 00:01:53,349
Okay, well, you had
that interesting thing.
37
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,784
Oh... yeah.
38
00:01:54,852 --> 00:01:57,120
Yes, Jim's friend
is starting a new company
39
00:01:57,187 --> 00:01:58,921
based on this idea that Jim had
40
00:01:58,989 --> 00:02:00,289
when they were back in college.
41
00:02:00,357 --> 00:02:02,225
It's sports marketing,
basically,
44
00:02:05,229 --> 00:02:07,997
In Philly, so...
that doesn't really work
45
00:02:08,065 --> 00:02:09,699
for the family.
46
00:02:09,767 --> 00:02:12,902
But watch this guy make
a billion dollars off my idea.
47
00:02:12,970 --> 00:02:15,104
He said if it takes off,
he's gonna buy us a new car.
48
00:02:15,172 --> 00:02:17,240
An Altima or better.
49
00:02:17,307 --> 00:02:19,175
Kelly Kapoor is gone.
50
00:02:19,243 --> 00:02:22,845
Her fiance, Ravi, was hired
as a Pediatrics Professor
51
00:02:22,913 --> 00:02:24,347
at Miami University.
52
00:02:24,415 --> 00:02:26,082
I don't need 'em anymore.
53
00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:28,718
I am going to Miami,
bee-yotches,
54
00:02:28,786 --> 00:02:32,054
to hang with Lebron James
and Gloria Estefan.
55
00:02:32,122 --> 00:02:35,658
Miami University, in Ohio.
56
00:02:35,726 --> 00:02:38,728
On her last day, Kelly was still
a little confused about it.
57
00:02:38,796 --> 00:02:44,200
- Enjoy the snow, losers.
- I'm so happy for you, Kelly.
58
00:02:44,268 --> 00:02:46,135
Shortly after Kelly left,
Ryan quit
59
00:02:46,203 --> 00:02:48,671
and also moved to Ohio,
60
00:02:48,739 --> 00:02:50,573
for what he claimed were
unrelated reasons.
61
00:02:50,641 --> 00:02:52,608
I've actually done a lot
of market research,
62
00:02:52,676 --> 00:02:55,211
and it turns out that
Southwestern Ohio is going to be
63
00:02:55,279 --> 00:02:56,979
the next Silicon Valley.
64
00:02:57,047 --> 00:02:58,381
They call it
the Silicon Prairie.
65
00:02:58,449 --> 00:03:03,886
It's a big university town,
and, uh...
66
00:03:03,954 --> 00:03:06,255
It's not garbage,
it's my clothes.
67
00:03:06,323 --> 00:03:10,960
And that was our summer.
68
00:03:11,028 --> 00:03:14,430
- We good?
- Yeah. Thanks.
69
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:15,731
Don't you guys have everything?
70
00:03:15,799 --> 00:03:18,601
I mean, it's just
a paper company.
71
00:03:18,669 --> 00:03:20,903
Yeah, well, we're more
following you guys
72
00:03:20,971 --> 00:03:22,472
to see how you turn out.
73
00:03:22,539 --> 00:03:24,073
Oh, yeah, I guess we were
74
00:03:24,141 --> 00:03:26,209
kind of dramatic
in the beginning.
75
00:03:26,276 --> 00:03:30,246
Well, I don't think anything's
gonna change in our lives now.
76
00:03:30,314 --> 00:03:32,482
With work and two kids,
there's just--
77
00:03:32,549 --> 00:03:34,450
Nothing interesting's
gonna happen to us
78
00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:38,020
for a long, long time.
79
00:03:59,194 --> 00:04:02,694
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
80
00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:06,479
Andy's coming back today.
81
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,629
Hey, uh, does anybody know
82
00:04:08,653 --> 00:04:09,753
where we throw these out?
83
00:04:09,768 --> 00:04:11,102
Oh, my God.
84
00:04:11,113 --> 00:04:13,976
- It's called a garbage can.
- Helpless.
85
00:04:14,626 --> 00:04:16,938
There's two new guys
back there with me now.
86
00:04:17,019 --> 00:04:20,121
They're in their 20s,
and we really get along.
87
00:04:20,182 --> 00:04:21,545
Looking good.
88
00:04:21,574 --> 00:04:25,749
Just three single guys...
getting into trouble.
89
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,155
They're like the new
Jim and Dwight.
90
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:32,838
Oh, yes, yes.
I see that. Perfect.
91
00:04:33,634 --> 00:04:36,302
Hey, new Jim,
come sit on my face.
92
00:04:36,339 --> 00:04:39,741
No, thank you.
My name's Pete.
93
00:04:40,527 --> 00:04:43,134
No, Pete is not the new Jim.
94
00:04:43,220 --> 00:04:44,554
The only thing
we have in common is that
95
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:47,086
neither of us wants to sit
on Meredith's face.
96
00:04:47,298 --> 00:04:48,931
And if that makes him
the new Jim,
97
00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:52,085
then every human being
in the world is the new Jim.
98
00:04:52,288 --> 00:04:54,455
Andy's here! Old Dwight,
new Dwight, Andy's here.
99
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,328
New Jim, Tuna, Andy's here.
Pam, he's here.
100
00:04:57,735 --> 00:05:00,904
Hey! Ahh.
101
00:05:00,997 --> 00:05:05,100
Wow, I thought about this place
a lot when I was on solo.
102
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,218
Three days on a mountain,
it'll change you.
103
00:05:08,651 --> 00:05:10,193
The things we think we need.
104
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,221
Clocks.
Yeah, right.
105
00:05:12,277 --> 00:05:14,758
It sounds amazing.
Tell us all about it.
106
00:05:14,824 --> 00:05:16,424
What are you still doing here?
107
00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:19,312
Wonderful, thanks.
108
00:05:19,636 --> 00:05:21,363
You know, I had this
really funny dream
109
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,522
during outward bound
that you died.
110
00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:26,722
Brilliant.
111
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,282
See me in my office later.
112
00:05:29,359 --> 00:05:31,827
The new guys.
All right.
113
00:05:31,894 --> 00:05:33,782
- Clark and, um...
- Pete.
114
00:05:33,825 --> 00:05:35,387
Da da da da...
115
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,445
In Outward Bound,
it was all about nicknames.
116
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,183
They called me Iceman.
117
00:05:39,202 --> 00:05:40,888
You will be called "Plop."
118
00:05:40,976 --> 00:05:42,067
What-- Why?
119
00:05:42,079 --> 00:05:43,386
'Cause you're always
taking dumps.
120
00:05:43,407 --> 00:05:44,348
No, I'm not.
121
00:05:44,366 --> 00:05:45,592
Come on, everybody defecates.
122
00:05:45,656 --> 00:05:47,991
Relax, Plop.
You will be called "Fart"
123
00:05:48,027 --> 00:05:50,262
- because you fart all the time.
- I love it.
124
00:05:50,281 --> 00:05:51,966
Actually, Andy,
we call this one
125
00:05:51,997 --> 00:05:53,160
"Dwight Jr."
126
00:05:53,308 --> 00:05:54,565
No, I prefer "Fart."
127
00:05:54,590 --> 00:05:57,373
No, Dwight Jr.
Infinitely better.
128
00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:58,711
You guys look exactly alike.
129
00:05:58,752 --> 00:06:00,890
Dwight, go stand next to him.
130
00:06:01,017 --> 00:06:02,730
- This is insane.
- I don't see it.
131
00:06:02,772 --> 00:06:04,753
I don't either.
I don't either.
132
00:06:04,775 --> 00:06:06,643
Whoa.
133
00:06:06,829 --> 00:06:10,034
Mind blown.
It's like father and son.
134
00:06:12,869 --> 00:06:14,998
It's...
135
00:06:15,052 --> 00:06:17,787
Dwight, you cool if we
call him Dwight Jr.?
136
00:06:18,474 --> 00:06:21,576
Yes.
Yes, I am.
137
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:26,251
That's okay.
138
00:06:26,763 --> 00:06:29,499
- Dwight Jr.
- Ha.
139
00:06:30,024 --> 00:06:31,968
In a way, it's like
I have a son.
140
00:06:32,138 --> 00:06:33,567
And who knows?
Maybe some day
141
00:06:33,586 --> 00:06:36,555
they'll hire someone who looks
like a younger version of him.
142
00:06:36,793 --> 00:06:38,660
And then I'll have a grandson.
143
00:06:38,728 --> 00:06:41,396
Well, I need to give
my cat up for adoption.
144
00:06:41,464 --> 00:06:43,832
- Mmm.
- The one who uses the doorbell,
145
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:45,367
or the one
with the Mexican hat,
146
00:06:45,435 --> 00:06:47,502
or the one
with the rain galoshes,
147
00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:49,304
or the one that you let
go around naked?
148
00:06:49,372 --> 00:06:51,173
Angela's cats are cute.
149
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,443
So cute that you just want
to eat 'em.
150
00:06:54,510 --> 00:06:57,846
But you can't eat cats.
151
00:06:57,914 --> 00:07:01,249
You can't eat cats, Kevin.
152
00:07:01,317 --> 00:07:05,320
- No, the one with the long hair
and the denim pants-- Comstock.
153
00:07:05,388 --> 00:07:06,521
- Oh.
- Okay, look.
154
00:07:06,589 --> 00:07:08,890
He's such a special kitty.
155
00:07:08,958 --> 00:07:11,326
I just want to find him
a good home.
156
00:07:14,764 --> 00:07:19,167
He loves those pants.
157
00:07:19,235 --> 00:07:20,936
I'll take him.
158
00:07:21,003 --> 00:07:22,571
Please.
After the turtle?
159
00:07:22,638 --> 00:07:26,041
I am enormously proud
of what I did for that turtle!
160
00:07:26,109 --> 00:07:28,677
Oscar. Oscar.
Will you take him?
161
00:07:28,745 --> 00:07:30,212
No, I'm a dog person.
162
00:07:30,279 --> 00:07:32,547
If you pray enough,
163
00:07:32,615 --> 00:07:35,350
you can change yourself
into a cat person.
164
00:07:35,418 --> 00:07:37,385
Those guys always
turn back, Angela.
165
00:07:37,453 --> 00:07:39,488
David, outward bound
was incredible.
166
00:07:39,555 --> 00:07:41,623
I was the best at slacklining.
167
00:07:41,691 --> 00:07:42,958
I ate a worm.
168
00:07:43,025 --> 00:07:44,159
Glad to hear it.
169
00:07:44,227 --> 00:07:46,361
You sound really confident
and decisive.
170
00:07:46,429 --> 00:07:48,263
Hey, you wanted to see me?
171
00:07:48,331 --> 00:07:50,699
Yeah.
I gotta go, David.
172
00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:51,967
Why is Nellie still here?
173
00:07:52,034 --> 00:07:53,468
You can only fire Nellie
for cause.
174
00:07:53,536 --> 00:07:56,304
Hmm. Then I will
make up a cause.
175
00:07:56,372 --> 00:07:58,406
Except you just told me
you were gonna make it up.
176
00:07:58,474 --> 00:08:00,809
Now, if she sues,
I have to testify against you.
177
00:08:00,877 --> 00:08:03,211
Then forget
I just told you that.
178
00:08:03,279 --> 00:08:06,081
I can't. I took a course
at the Weintraub Memory Academy.
179
00:08:06,149 --> 00:08:08,583
Sat next to this woman
named Beverly Brook.
180
00:08:08,651 --> 00:08:10,685
She had a Greek salad
for lunch.
181
00:08:10,753 --> 00:08:11,787
See what I mean?
182
00:08:11,854 --> 00:08:14,890
Now I know why Michael
hated you so much.
183
00:08:14,957 --> 00:08:16,792
No, he didn't.
184
00:08:22,031 --> 00:08:25,167
Good boy.
Getting big and strong.
185
00:08:25,234 --> 00:08:26,835
Snack foods!
186
00:08:26,903 --> 00:08:29,404
Yep.
187
00:08:29,472 --> 00:08:30,806
Body by cheez-it.
188
00:08:30,873 --> 00:08:34,442
Ah, humor.
I have it too.
189
00:08:34,510 --> 00:08:37,078
Oh, boy,
I got a couple of tickets
190
00:08:37,146 --> 00:08:39,214
to The Slayer concert
ten months from now.
191
00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:40,726
You interested?
192
00:08:41,311 --> 00:08:43,386
I think I'm busy that night.
193
00:08:43,553 --> 00:08:44,686
Oh, or I would.
194
00:08:44,754 --> 00:08:46,437
Mmm, okay, well,
195
00:08:46,455 --> 00:08:49,465
we're both just kind of learning
as we go, aren't we?
196
00:08:49,575 --> 00:08:50,625
Learning what?
197
00:08:50,651 --> 00:08:55,101
Just... how this is gonna be.
You know.
198
00:08:56,079 --> 00:08:58,286
You have a beautiful
round head.
199
00:08:59,269 --> 00:09:00,232
Okay.
200
00:09:00,269 --> 00:09:02,432
So what kind of farming
you into, huh?
201
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:06,045
More of a fruit man
or a root man?
202
00:09:07,174 --> 00:09:10,869
Hey, is this-- is this code
for, like, gay stuff?
203
00:09:11,012 --> 00:09:12,514
'Cause if so,
that's totally fine.
204
00:09:12,532 --> 00:09:13,399
Like, I'm fine with it.
205
00:09:13,424 --> 00:09:15,959
But you know, you should know
that I'm into the ladies.
206
00:09:16,524 --> 00:09:19,250
Spoken like a true root man.
207
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:21,166
Hey, you know,
if you're ever swamped,
208
00:09:21,199 --> 00:09:23,867
I can make
some sales calls for you.
209
00:09:24,028 --> 00:09:26,396
- My calls?
- So could you give me
210
00:09:26,495 --> 00:09:28,150
a list of all your clients,
or just the leads
211
00:09:28,174 --> 00:09:29,444
that you haven't had time
to pursue yet?
212
00:09:29,472 --> 00:09:30,739
You want a list of my clients?
213
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,025
You want my leads?
214
00:09:32,064 --> 00:09:33,531
- Yeah, I'll just give it a glance.
- Okay.
215
00:09:33,594 --> 00:09:34,623
I'll give it a read.
216
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:36,435
Yeah, with my leads,
and stuff like that.
217
00:09:36,584 --> 00:09:37,427
Yeah.
218
00:09:37,458 --> 00:09:38,940
'Cause you're interested
in going into sales.
219
00:09:38,970 --> 00:09:40,358
- I am.
- Wow, that's great.
220
00:09:40,386 --> 00:09:41,717
- Yeah.
- That's great.
221
00:09:41,743 --> 00:09:44,233
Okay, good.
Let's talk about that, okay?
222
00:09:44,247 --> 00:09:47,249
- Okay.
- You're not getting my clients.
223
00:09:47,672 --> 00:09:49,441
Nice try.
224
00:09:50,453 --> 00:09:52,954
Paranoid?
I'm not familiar with the word.
225
00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:54,623
And I really don't have time
to learn new words
226
00:09:54,646 --> 00:09:55,518
right now, okay?
227
00:09:55,536 --> 00:09:58,474
A pudgy 22-year-old
is trying to take my job.
228
00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:01,965
Jim, get ready for the
battle of your life.
229
00:10:02,071 --> 00:10:03,505
Done. Explain.
230
00:10:03,677 --> 00:10:06,579
The new guys-- Dwight Jr.
is after my job.
231
00:10:06,646 --> 00:10:08,867
Yeah, there is a shark
hiding inside
232
00:10:08,898 --> 00:10:10,230
that adorable little cherub.
233
00:10:10,249 --> 00:10:12,037
Oh, now I get
what Pete was talking about
234
00:10:12,055 --> 00:10:13,255
at the sales meeting yesterday.
235
00:10:13,784 --> 00:10:16,337
Wait, sales--
What sales meeting?
236
00:10:16,372 --> 00:10:17,439
The new guys called one.
237
00:10:17,462 --> 00:10:18,786
The new guys called
a sales meeting?
238
00:10:18,811 --> 00:10:21,336
Clark ended the whole thing
with a karate demonstration.
239
00:10:21,428 --> 00:10:23,278
Did you know there was
a belt above black?
240
00:10:23,601 --> 00:10:25,602
There's no belt above black.
241
00:10:25,744 --> 00:10:27,592
- Is there a belt above black?
- You should ask him.
242
00:10:27,617 --> 00:10:29,252
It's a color
you would never expect.
243
00:10:32,773 --> 00:10:35,117
Too easy.
244
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:38,548
Attention, everyone.
Comstock is still available.
245
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:41,022
Oscar has been flirting
with adopting him,
246
00:10:41,046 --> 00:10:43,426
but still hasn't given me
a definite yes or no.
247
00:10:43,445 --> 00:10:45,470
- Definitely no.
- Fine.
248
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,246
For any interested candidates,
249
00:10:47,265 --> 00:10:49,677
I will be conducting
20-minute interviews.
250
00:10:50,048 --> 00:10:52,354
My ideal situation would be
251
00:10:52,379 --> 00:10:55,158
an independently wealthy
cute couple
252
00:10:55,182 --> 00:10:56,883
with a strong commitment
to education.
253
00:10:57,063 --> 00:10:59,038
Black or white--
I'm fine with either.
254
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:01,442
But not both.
Listen, you're in this,
255
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:04,030
but you need to wow me, okay?
256
00:11:05,405 --> 00:11:06,672
I wanted to talk to you about
257
00:11:06,896 --> 00:11:08,830
our working relationship
this year.
258
00:11:08,867 --> 00:11:10,705
It's going to be terrible.
259
00:11:11,144 --> 00:11:12,630
Not necessarily.
260
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,900
No, I'm going to make sure
that it is.
261
00:11:16,055 --> 00:11:18,371
And if it isn't, I will take
immediate action
262
00:11:18,389 --> 00:11:19,889
to rectify that.
263
00:11:20,538 --> 00:11:24,941
Now, I don't like
to throw around the "B" word,
264
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,960
but I'm gonna be
a huge bitch to you.
265
00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:32,971
Now, this is called
slacklining.
266
00:11:33,043 --> 00:11:34,994
I set up the old slackline
to teach the office
267
00:11:35,019 --> 00:11:37,382
the skills of focus
and discipline.
268
00:11:37,616 --> 00:11:39,426
Or in the case
of certain individuals,
269
00:11:39,506 --> 00:11:43,162
the skills of humiliation
and looking really dumb.
270
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:44,683
If you make it
all the way across,
271
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:45,902
your confidence will soar.
272
00:11:45,931 --> 00:11:49,075
But if you Toby out--
Aah! Aah!
273
00:11:49,932 --> 00:11:51,676
Then you'll feel like
a real Nellie.
274
00:11:51,731 --> 00:11:53,865
How 'bout a hand?
Screw those guys.
275
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:56,845
Now, these are my actual
outward bound counselors,
276
00:11:56,867 --> 00:11:57,934
Rafe and Feather.
277
00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:00,152
- Iceman.
- That's me.
278
00:12:00,308 --> 00:12:02,242
The powder is for
your protection.
279
00:12:02,266 --> 00:12:03,914
Feather has permanent
athlete's foot.
280
00:12:04,188 --> 00:12:06,188
Feather, show them
how you dance
281
00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:09,001
upon the line of slack.
282
00:12:11,402 --> 00:12:13,469
You, uh--
You a sports guy?
283
00:12:13,569 --> 00:12:16,675
- Sure. Uh, boxing, tennis.
- Oh.
284
00:12:16,977 --> 00:12:18,789
Any team sports?
285
00:12:18,945 --> 00:12:21,570
Nascar.
The Amazing Race.
286
00:12:22,599 --> 00:12:24,100
Phillies fan, though, right?
287
00:12:24,417 --> 00:12:25,718
You mean horses?
288
00:12:25,973 --> 00:12:28,573
No, like ba-- baseball.
The baseball team.
289
00:12:28,598 --> 00:12:31,286
I like the Red Sox.
I'm from Vermont, so...
290
00:12:31,525 --> 00:12:34,575
Okay. Good talk.
291
00:12:35,095 --> 00:12:37,289
I have nothing in common
with Plop.
292
00:12:37,384 --> 00:12:39,740
All right, who's next?
Nellie.
293
00:12:40,215 --> 00:12:43,315
Oh, I would rather watch you
and your talented friends.
294
00:12:43,341 --> 00:12:45,242
Nonsense.
Get up here.
295
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:47,454
- Go ahead.
- Come on.
296
00:12:50,916 --> 00:12:53,373
Uh, you gonna wear your heels?
297
00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:55,614
I'm very self-conscious
about my feet.
298
00:12:55,682 --> 00:12:56,715
Okay. Sure.
299
00:12:57,439 --> 00:12:59,916
There you go.
Atta girl.
300
00:12:59,935 --> 00:13:01,603
Hey, all right.
301
00:13:01,627 --> 00:13:04,529
Whoa! You suck.
302
00:13:05,266 --> 00:13:07,241
All right, who's next?
Darryl.
303
00:13:07,268 --> 00:13:08,388
This seems like
the kind of thing
304
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:09,779
white people
with dreadlocks do.
305
00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:12,031
Dwight Jr., this looks
like your speed.
306
00:13:12,098 --> 00:13:14,067
Uh, I guess I can
give it a shot.
307
00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:15,531
Yeah, come on.
Get up here.
308
00:13:16,206 --> 00:13:18,584
- Just hop on up.
- Okay.
309
00:13:18,834 --> 00:13:21,147
Focus on the horizon.
310
00:13:22,783 --> 00:13:25,280
Whoa!
Look at this guy.
311
00:13:28,714 --> 00:13:29,858
I've always been good
at anything
312
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,377
that required balance.
313
00:13:31,472 --> 00:13:33,621
My doctor says I have
gigantic inner ears.
314
00:13:34,194 --> 00:13:36,987
Go, Dwight Jr.
315
00:13:37,057 --> 00:13:39,576
- Yes!
- Boo! Unimpressed.
316
00:13:39,671 --> 00:13:42,109
It's a tightrope for babies.
Boo.
317
00:13:42,159 --> 00:13:43,711
- All right, let's see you do it.
- All right,...
318
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,034
let me show you how a real man
319
00:13:45,051 --> 00:13:46,585
walks across a flaccid cord.
320
00:13:57,633 --> 00:13:59,533
Oh, ho ho ho!
321
00:13:59,790 --> 00:14:01,459
Who ordered the hot apple fail?
322
00:14:01,477 --> 00:14:04,178
Okay, I am just
getting started, okay?
323
00:14:05,602 --> 00:14:08,202
You got this.
This is all you.
324
00:14:09,218 --> 00:14:11,352
Oh!
325
00:14:11,407 --> 00:14:15,038
- Oh...
- Got ourselves a yard sale.
326
00:14:18,004 --> 00:14:19,638
- Oh.
- Whoa.
327
00:14:19,686 --> 00:14:20,787
Balls and face.
328
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:23,402
- It's not a race, Dwight.
- Aah!
329
00:14:26,482 --> 00:14:28,814
- Oh!
- Well, it's official--
330
00:14:28,848 --> 00:14:32,072
Old Dwight is lame,
and new Dwight is cool.
331
00:14:32,113 --> 00:14:33,480
That's not true.
332
00:14:33,724 --> 00:14:36,112
Just give me another chance.
333
00:14:36,149 --> 00:14:37,843
- But your mouth is--
- This is a bloodbath.
334
00:14:37,874 --> 00:14:39,527
All right, I'm calling this.
335
00:14:39,672 --> 00:14:41,372
- What?
- It's enough of this.
336
00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:42,903
Everyone, let's go back
to work.
337
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,529
This is a stupid activity.
338
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,692
I would be embarrassed
to be good at it.
339
00:14:50,013 --> 00:14:51,738
Get--
340
00:14:53,266 --> 00:14:54,967
Idiots!
341
00:15:03,045 --> 00:15:05,367
Slacklining.
Big deal.
342
00:15:05,451 --> 00:15:07,218
Untie that rope,
give it to a couple
343
00:15:07,248 --> 00:15:08,655
of pigtailed school girls,
344
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,018
let them start jumping with it
345
00:15:10,030 --> 00:15:12,538
while chanting a rhyme
and giggling about boys.
346
00:15:12,619 --> 00:15:14,386
Doesn't seem so macho now,
does it?
347
00:15:14,527 --> 00:15:16,621
It's a jump rope!
348
00:15:28,655 --> 00:15:30,712
Dwight!
349
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,332
Pam?
Hey, I'm up here.
350
00:15:34,348 --> 00:15:36,589
Up the ladder.
Come on.
351
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,217
What are you doing?
352
00:15:49,295 --> 00:15:52,133
Come here.
I'll show you.
353
00:15:54,293 --> 00:15:56,395
Why do you want this cat?
354
00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:57,999
Um, I don't want it, really.
355
00:15:58,128 --> 00:15:59,403
How would you support the cat?
356
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,898
What are your ambitions?
357
00:16:00,936 --> 00:16:02,600
I want to start
my own business.
358
00:16:02,937 --> 00:16:04,338
I want to be a millionaire.
359
00:16:04,393 --> 00:16:07,218
Lots of things-- Travel.
Make the world a better place.
360
00:16:07,456 --> 00:16:09,524
Earn an MBA at night.
361
00:16:09,586 --> 00:16:12,021
Have you taken any
concrete steps?
362
00:16:12,157 --> 00:16:15,003
Well, I'm still just...
fitting in here.
363
00:16:15,037 --> 00:16:16,462
You know, getting used
to the new job.
364
00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:19,589
- Mm-hmm.
- But definitely on the agenda.
365
00:16:20,694 --> 00:16:23,579
But that is a good idea, Angela.
I should make a list.
366
00:16:23,796 --> 00:16:26,348
Oh, come on, Pete.
367
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:28,769
God, that's just sad.
368
00:16:28,968 --> 00:16:31,987
If he doesn't watch himself,
he's gonna be here for years
369
00:16:32,106 --> 00:16:34,074
doing nothing.
370
00:16:39,309 --> 00:16:42,378
Wow, maybe Pete is the new Jim.
371
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:49,574
Do you see how the trapeze
completely surrounds the wire?
372
00:16:49,628 --> 00:16:51,849
That means it is
literally impossible
373
00:16:51,873 --> 00:16:53,195
for anyone to fall off.
374
00:16:53,226 --> 00:16:54,671
So you will merely sit below
375
00:16:54,708 --> 00:16:56,109
and be my counterweight
376
00:16:56,134 --> 00:16:57,935
as I pedal across
the parking lot
377
00:16:58,066 --> 00:16:59,166
to that telephone pole,
378
00:16:59,234 --> 00:17:00,599
- I will?
- You will.
379
00:17:00,624 --> 00:17:02,474
Yeah, we weigh about
the same, wouldn't you say?
380
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:06,194
- Sure, if you weigh 105 pounds.
- So you'll do it?
381
00:17:06,241 --> 00:17:08,208
- No.
- Come on!
382
00:17:08,276 --> 00:17:10,477
This will be the only thrill
of your boring life.
383
00:17:10,744 --> 00:17:12,557
Dwight, you may find this
hard to believe,
384
00:17:12,592 --> 00:17:14,417
but I love my boring life...
385
00:17:14,449 --> 00:17:15,883
- Come on.
- Exactly the way it is.
386
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:16,900
- No, Pam.
- Yes.
387
00:17:16,962 --> 00:17:18,301
And there's nothing you can say
388
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,156
that would get me to run
the slightest risk of losing it.
389
00:17:21,247 --> 00:17:23,610
- Please? Please, Pam?
- Find someone else.
390
00:17:23,647 --> 00:17:25,048
I don't know, ask Phyllis.
391
00:17:25,159 --> 00:17:26,827
I can't use Phyllis.
Are you kidding me?
392
00:17:26,882 --> 00:17:28,149
The moment she steps
off this bar
393
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,507
I'll be launched into space.
394
00:17:30,061 --> 00:17:32,625
God, you're so insensitive!
395
00:17:37,325 --> 00:17:38,519
Why are you getting rid of it?
396
00:17:38,580 --> 00:17:39,747
Allergies.
397
00:17:39,828 --> 00:17:41,929
- Your husband?
- No, the baby.
398
00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:44,267
Please, it's my husband's
favorite cat.
399
00:17:44,334 --> 00:17:45,653
He's broken up about it.
400
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,359
It's the only time
I've seen him cry
401
00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:48,483
other than our wedding night.
402
00:17:49,456 --> 00:17:51,802
You know what?
I will take Comstock.
403
00:17:51,872 --> 00:17:55,085
Really?
Oh, Oscar, thank you!
404
00:17:56,146 --> 00:17:57,847
I'll come by after work
and pick him up.
405
00:17:57,884 --> 00:18:01,002
Yay!
Oh, poor Robert.
406
00:18:01,022 --> 00:18:02,556
He won't get to say good-bye.
407
00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:04,421
He has this business dinner
tonight.
408
00:18:05,182 --> 00:18:07,117
Oh, c'est la vie.
409
00:18:07,283 --> 00:18:10,039
Please don't teach
the cat French.
410
00:18:11,306 --> 00:18:13,315
Yeah, good news.
411
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:14,919
Tonight, when you come over
for dinner,
412
00:18:15,134 --> 00:18:18,103
you can play
with your old buddy Comstock.
413
00:18:26,650 --> 00:18:28,026
You ready?
414
00:18:28,124 --> 00:18:29,580
Yeah.
415
00:18:29,752 --> 00:18:31,004
You know what?
I'll meet you down there.
416
00:18:31,029 --> 00:18:32,248
I've just gotta make
a quick call.
417
00:18:32,327 --> 00:18:34,073
Okay.
418
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,779
Okay.
419
00:18:44,138 --> 00:18:46,476
All right...
420
00:18:48,171 --> 00:18:49,978
Oh, God.
421
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,204
Attention, employees
of Dunder Mifflin.
422
00:19:28,271 --> 00:19:31,599
Everyone thinks the new guys
are so cool
423
00:19:31,686 --> 00:19:33,654
'cause they can slackline.
424
00:19:33,721 --> 00:19:35,188
Ooh!
425
00:19:35,256 --> 00:19:38,996
Hey, Clark, this is what
a real salesman looks like.
426
00:19:40,218 --> 00:19:41,796
They say that you only
live once,
427
00:19:41,815 --> 00:19:43,606
and I'm about to prove it.
428
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:46,299
- Dwight Schrute!
- Dwight!
429
00:19:46,954 --> 00:19:48,317
Hey, man, it's Halpert.
430
00:19:48,369 --> 00:19:50,404
Did you go
to the other guy yet?
431
00:19:50,471 --> 00:19:53,464
Great. Don't.
I'm in.
432
00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:58,114
Yeah, yep, I'm all in.
433
00:19:58,813 --> 00:20:02,082
Okay, talk to you soon.
Bye.
434
00:20:06,554 --> 00:20:08,819
Yeah!
435
00:20:11,907 --> 00:20:14,008
Whoo-hoo!
436
00:20:15,954 --> 00:20:17,757
Whoo-hoo!
437
00:20:22,953 --> 00:20:25,374
- Call somebody.
- Hang on!
438
00:20:25,406 --> 00:20:29,176
Hang on!
Hold on, Dwight!
439
00:20:30,945 --> 00:20:33,483
In the parking lot today,
there was a circus.
440
00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:36,091
The copier did tricks
on the high wire.
441
00:20:36,127 --> 00:20:39,087
A lady tried to give away
a baby that looked like a cat.
442
00:20:39,187 --> 00:20:42,689
There was a Dwight impersonator
and a Jim impersonator.
443
00:20:42,757 --> 00:20:44,820
A strongman crushed a turtle.
444
00:20:44,885 --> 00:20:47,873
I laughed and I cried.
445
00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:51,769
Not bad for a day in the life
of a dog food company.
446
00:20:55,226 --> 00:20:57,299
Crap, sorry, Nellie.
447
00:20:57,337 --> 00:21:00,606
Once again, I understand
that old habits die hard,
448
00:21:00,643 --> 00:21:04,023
but if everyone would kindly
walk their refuse
449
00:21:04,068 --> 00:21:06,665
to the trash bins,
instead of tossing them,
450
00:21:06,689 --> 00:21:08,123
then we would--
451
00:21:08,197 --> 00:21:10,131
Oh...
swish.
452
00:21:10,475 --> 00:21:12,008
Oh, it's nothing to do with me.
453
00:21:12,051 --> 00:21:15,901
I just happen to be sitting
near to where the bins are.
454
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:19,044
There are two things
that I am passionate about--
455
00:21:19,518 --> 00:21:23,824
Recycling and revenge.
456
00:21:25,057 --> 00:21:26,062
Fluke.
457
00:21:26,442 --> 00:21:31,442
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