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It's alive!
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ Alvin is the cool-munk ♪
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♪ he really loves to rock ♪
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♪ together we're the Chipmunks ♪
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♪ I jerk off in Dave's so-o-o-ck ♪
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Alvin!
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This is my jam.
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I swear to God, I'm gonna get backstage
and blow one of those Chipmunks!
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What did you just say?
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Yeah! Least one of them.
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Hopefully all of them.
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But they don't have penises, Traci.
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They're animatronic.
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Kendra, they're not animatronic.
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I think I heard they're mutants.
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They're regular Chipmunks
that got radiated.
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Don't care. Blowing one!
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Whoo!
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Wow.
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One, two, three, four.
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Mr. Seville, I'm new here,
so I wanted to double-check.
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What's your policy on groupies?
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Groupies?
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Oh, hi -- me, me!
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Wait a minute, are you saying
that human girl is sexually
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interested in the boys?
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That's disgusting.
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Get her the hell out of here.
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I'm gonna go pray for her soul.
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Wow, a real groupie, just
like other rock stars have.
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Don't even think about it, Alvin.
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It's bestiality.
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It's against God's plan.
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Theodore, we're
four-foot-high Chipmunks.
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We're proof that God is dead.
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I'm going to whack me
off a piece of that.
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I didn't actually think
I'd get this far.
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Lucky you.
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Yeah, you smell different
than I thought.
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Like, less dreamy and more gamey.
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I talked a big game in
front of my friends.
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And now
this has to happen.
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Oh, are you crying?
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I can't find your junk.
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Oh, hang on.
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My genitals retract!
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Oh, God. I'm going home now.
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Aww.
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Hope my friends didn't
go home without me.
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Ye-e-e-e-s!
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This is so much better
than masturbating!
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And Kendra thought you
were animatronic.
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Nope. Mutated by radiation.
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Yeah!
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High five!
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Yeah!
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This is my jam!
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Aww.
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Mom and dad couldn't afford our
Christmas presents because the
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price of gas is so high.
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But I've been extra good.
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Swear I'm gonna [bleep]
some [bleep] up next year.
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Did somebody say "energy crisis"?
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Not in those exact
words, Captain America.
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The high cost of energy is
crippling America, kids.
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But what can we do?
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We can lick this problem if
we all do our part together.
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Turn the dial down to 68
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degrees, and we'll use
less heating oil.
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We're not gonna do that.
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My feet get cold.
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Uh, okay. Next tip.
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Electronics still use energy
even when turned off.
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Make sure to unplug them.
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That sounds exhausting.
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Pass.
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Uh... clothes dryers are 20%
of a home's energy bill.
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Dry your laundry outdoors,
and save power.
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I never wait that long.
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Nobody's gonna do that.
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Oh, fine. [Bleep] you then.
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Sorry we couldn't afford
gifts this year, kids.
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That's okay.
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It's enough that you don't force us to
live like a bunch of broke-ass hippies.
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Aww.
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My feet are [bleep] freezing.
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Lassie, what's wrong, girl?
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Timmy fell -- oh, wrong verb?
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Dropped... put... spread...
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Timmy spread...peanut butter...
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on his balls...and you had to--
Oh, I'm so sorry, Lassie.
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Let's all give a round of
applause to 6-year-old
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Bosco Albert, who's making our
flight from Atlanta to L.A. all
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by himself.
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Also, it looks like the
in-flight meal was over three
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weeks old and almost certainly
teeming with bacteria.
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Thank you so much.
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Excuse me, I need to use the --
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FAA regulations require that
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you stay in your seat with
your seatbelt fully fastened.
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This isn't happening.
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I'm not gonna make it.
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God forgive me!
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Oh, dear, get out of the way!
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Ladies and gentlemen, this
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is your captain, reminding you
that getting out of your seat
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is against f--
Aw, who am I kidding?
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I'm out of my seat squatting over
a coffee pot up here, people.
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Do what you have to do.
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Oh, God!
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I told you before, I don't
get on no damn plane.
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Oh, what's the big deal, B.A.?
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It's personal.
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Rosemary's here to share some
news with her baby daddy.
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Now, does Stan --
It's "Satan."
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Sorry.
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Does Satan know why he's here today?
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No, Lonnie, he has no idea.
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Well', let's bring him out.
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Satan.
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Thank you.
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Hi, Satan, how are you?
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I'm doing great, Lonnie, amazing.
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I'm here with my beautiful baby mama.
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Now, Satan, you and Rosemary have
raised little Adrian together.
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Happiest years of my life, Lonnie.
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But we performed a paternity
test, and I have the results
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right here.
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Say what?
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Satan, you...are... not the father.
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How could you?
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What am I gonna tell mee-maw?!
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Coming up... Joseph, you are not
the father of Mary's child.
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Ah! I told you.
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I told you that's not my kid.
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That's not my kid.
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Let's meet Jesus' real father.
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God.
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Yeah. Hey, hey, hey.
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You don't know me.
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You don't know me.
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Did you just change
back from a werewolf?
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Yeah.
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You've been licking your
balls, haven't you?
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Well, they don't lick themselves.
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Our kids have made a 180-degree
change, Ms. Poppins.
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How do you do it?
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Oh, let's just say I have my secrets.
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Ta-ta!
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Secrets?
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I don't like the sound of that.
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Oh, thank God we bought that nanny cam.
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A spoonful of sugar
will help this go down.
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Did we say she could
medicate the children?
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Did she saw a hole in my table?
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This room is a mess.
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Oh, great, and she's also a witch.
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Hello, police.
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Oh, dear.
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Land your umbrella!
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Put your hands over your head!
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Now, just a minute.
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Now, bitch, now!
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Such language.
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A spoonful of sugar
will help this go down.
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She's going for a gun!
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Oh, sometimes a warning
shot is quite polite.
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Ahhhh!
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But sometimes, you got to grow a dick.
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Aah!
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Hey, Woody.
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I got some wood for you to peck on.
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Woodpecker!
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you.
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This school play is so boring.
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I was literally daydreaming
about that horrible day I spent
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fly-fishing with your brother.
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Shh!
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Yeah, baby, I'm killing it tonight!
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The sex we're having is
literally so bad that I'm
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00:07:05,202 --> 00:07:08,036
daydreaming about the time you
told me about fly-fishing during
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that boring school play.
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What were you just thinking, dear?
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What could've made him kill himself?
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Think I figured it out.
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I'm knitting a sweater
for my granddaughter.
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She's part of a human centipede.
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Gentlemen, if we properly
reconstructed this DNA, we're
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about to meet the first dinosaur
to walk the earth in 65 million
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years.
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Wow, radical place you got here, dude.
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Show me the nearest half-pipe,
'cause I'm a rebel with a
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totally rude 'tude.
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Burn it all.
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Burn it all!
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Ahh.
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00:08:02,361 --> 00:08:03,326
Hey, what's up?
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Gather 'round, Joes.
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00:08:04,730 --> 00:08:06,329
Our orders just came though.
203
00:08:06,364 --> 00:08:08,665
What's cobra up to this time, Duke?
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00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:09,933
No, not cobra.
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Apparently we're being
deployed to Afghanistan.
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Hmm. Okay.
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Yo, Joe?
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00:08:15,873 --> 00:08:17,406
Yo, Joe!
209
00:08:17,441 --> 00:08:20,343
Who wants to jump on Google and
find out what a "Taliban" is?
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00:08:20,411 --> 00:08:21,943
Oh, okay.
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00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:25,046
I was concerned about your
colorful unit training my men,
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00:08:25,082 --> 00:08:27,949
Duke, until I heard about
your experience with ruthless
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00:08:27,984 --> 00:08:28,983
terrorist organizations.
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00:08:29,052 --> 00:08:31,620
You can count on G.I. Joe to
keep a low profile, colonel.
215
00:08:31,655 --> 00:08:33,956
Now if you could just point
me toward the local Petco.
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00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:36,792
Seems the flight didn't agree
with our exotic birds.
217
00:08:36,827 --> 00:08:38,527
Polly, watch the eyes!
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Aah! Ow!
219
00:08:39,363 --> 00:08:43,265
You simply knock out an enemy,
throw on his clothes, and
220
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"Ahoy, Matey," you're undercover.
221
00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:46,969
Questions anyone?
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00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:47,703
Estevez?
223
00:08:47,738 --> 00:08:49,338
I'm not Estevez, sir.
224
00:08:49,373 --> 00:08:50,072
I'm Hammond.
225
00:08:50,108 --> 00:08:51,273
Oh, of course. Sorry.
226
00:08:51,342 --> 00:08:52,374
I meant you, Estevez.
227
00:08:52,443 --> 00:08:53,542
I'm Sanderson, sir.
228
00:08:54,378 --> 00:08:57,613
It's so hard to tell you guys apart
with your matching uniforms.
229
00:08:57,649 --> 00:08:59,782
Where's Estevez?
230
00:08:59,817 --> 00:09:02,418
There is no Estevez.
231
00:09:03,221 --> 00:09:06,423
Son, you shoot like that in the
field, and your enemy could
232
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:07,190
end up dead.
233
00:09:07,225 --> 00:09:11,161
The idea is to herd them back to
the enemy line, safe and sound.
234
00:09:11,196 --> 00:09:14,064
Hey, this laser rifle's
loaded with bullets.
235
00:09:14,933 --> 00:09:16,333
Amateur hour, guys.
236
00:09:16,368 --> 00:09:19,903
Intel is suggesting the
insurgents are massing here,
237
00:09:19,971 --> 00:09:21,071
here, and here.
238
00:09:21,106 --> 00:09:23,373
'Scuse me, colonel, but
shouldn't we be more concerned
239
00:09:23,441 --> 00:09:24,974
with the enemy's weather dominator?
240
00:09:25,010 --> 00:09:26,643
It's about a million degrees outside.
241
00:09:26,678 --> 00:09:27,477
It's the desert.
242
00:09:27,546 --> 00:09:30,447
Well, then, some other kind of
dominator -- sand dominator, maybe.
243
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,181
I don't know.
244
00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:32,282
Just spitballing here.
245
00:09:32,317 --> 00:09:34,017
Sir, the insurgents are moving.
246
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All right, send out a division.
247
00:09:35,820 --> 00:09:39,088
Y-o-o-o-o Jo-o-o-e!
248
00:09:40,392 --> 00:09:43,826
Send out a division to...
All right, this is it.
249
00:09:43,862 --> 00:09:46,929
Remember, keep your heads, and
everything will be just --
250
00:09:46,998 --> 00:09:47,830
They're shooting at us!
251
00:09:47,899 --> 00:09:49,566
Oh, my God, they're
actually shooting at us!
252
00:09:49,601 --> 00:09:50,166
Aah!
253
00:09:50,202 --> 00:09:51,668
Get out of the chopper!
254
00:09:51,703 --> 00:09:54,571
Aah!
255
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,274
Move, move, move.
256
00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,943
Does anyone else feel
like a dumbass right now?
257
00:10:00,513 --> 00:10:04,115
Yo-o-o-o Joe!
258
00:10:04,184 --> 00:10:05,750
Oh, no!
259
00:10:05,819 --> 00:10:06,851
Great job, team.
260
00:10:06,886 --> 00:10:10,388
Those insurgents won't
know what hit them.
261
00:10:10,457 --> 00:10:11,589
Great job, team.
262
00:10:11,658 --> 00:10:14,325
Those insurgents didn't
know what hit them.
263
00:10:14,394 --> 00:10:16,127
All right, troops you got them now.
264
00:10:16,196 --> 00:10:16,661
Herd him.
265
00:10:16,730 --> 00:10:17,866
Herd him back to the line.
266
00:10:17,901 --> 00:10:18,766
Good job, team.
267
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,835
He'll be turning tail any second.
268
00:10:21,571 --> 00:10:23,772
Oh, it's a [bleep] meat grinder.
269
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:28,310
Who will protect the world from Cobra
after we've yo'd our last Joe?
270
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,013
Look at those fools.
271
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:35,584
I knew the Joes couldn't handle
the rigors of actual combat.
272
00:10:36,421 --> 00:10:37,220
What the [bleep] was that?
273
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:38,221
We're in there!
274
00:10:38,256 --> 00:10:39,222
Go, go, go, go, go!
275
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,489
What the [bleep]
276
00:10:40,525 --> 00:10:42,292
Bitch, protect your commander.
277
00:10:42,327 --> 00:10:45,616
You win this day, SEAL team 6.
278
00:10:45,736 --> 00:10:46,890
But next time.
279
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,600
Good job, every--
280
00:10:50,669 --> 00:10:52,809
Good job, good --
281
00:10:55,774 --> 00:10:57,307
Good job, everyone.
282
00:10:57,342 --> 00:11:07,884
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
283
00:11:07,953 --> 00:11:09,152
♪ Ba-bock, bock, bock-a bock-a ♪
284
00:11:09,221 --> 00:11:10,153
♪ bock, bock, bock ♪
285
00:11:10,189 --> 00:11:11,072
Ba-bock!
286
00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:12,524
Bock.