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Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
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00:00:03,296 --> 00:00:06,297
OTHERS: We now pronounce you
husband and wife!
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00:00:09,496 --> 00:00:11,748
(loud rumbling)
I love this part!
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00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,333
Me, too!
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00:00:13,335 --> 00:00:16,803
I have strongly mixed feelings!
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00:00:18,572 --> 00:00:21,557
So, Howard's really
in space, huh?
7
00:00:21,559 --> 00:00:23,253
Mm-hmm, International
Space Station.
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00:00:23,267 --> 00:00:25,367
250 miles that way.
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00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:28,188
Right now, Howard's
staring down at our planet
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00:00:28,206 --> 00:00:31,757
like a tiny Jewish Greek god.
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00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,830
Zeusowitz.
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SHELDON:
I must admit,
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I can't help
but feel a twinge of envy.
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He can look out the window and
see the majesty of the universe
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00:00:42,384 --> 00:00:44,501
unfolding before his eyes.
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His dim, uncomprehending eyes.
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It's like a cat
in an airport carrying case.
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You know, it's not exactly
glamorous up there.
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The water that
the astronauts drink
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is made from each other's
recycled urine.
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Must be nice.
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Nobody wants anything
that comes out of me.
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(sighs): I wonder what he's
doing right this very second.
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Mm, conducting experiments
in zero gravity.
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Peering through his telescope
at the birth of the cosmos.
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Whatever it is, we know his
life will never be the same.
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MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard! Can you hear me?!
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I can hear you
without the phone!
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Don't be snippy.
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I'm just excited to talk
to my baby!
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I'm excited to talk to you, too.
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So, what's this mishegas
about you moving out
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00:01:41,375 --> 00:01:44,543
to go live with
the little Polish girl?!
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How about calling her my wife?
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Wives don't take boys
from their mothers.
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They do.
That's why we marry them!
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I just hope I'm not dead
from a broken heart
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before you get back.
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Ma, please. Everyone from NASA
is listening to this phone call.
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Good. They should know
what a horrible son you are!
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00:02:06,985 --> 00:02:10,187
Okay, Ma, great talking to you!
Gotta go!
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
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♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
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♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
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00:02:27,469 --> 00:02:30,412
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
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00:02:30,431 --> 00:02:32,460
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
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00:02:32,478 --> 00:02:35,217
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
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00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:37,147
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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♪ Bang! ♪
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♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x01 ♪
The Date Night Variable
Original Air Date on September 27, 2012
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
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This is so exciting.
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Soon, my upper lip will
be the same fake blonde
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00:02:53,802 --> 00:02:55,885
as my beautiful best friend.
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00:02:57,058 --> 00:02:59,443
Hey, this is
my natural hair color.
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00:03:01,419 --> 00:03:03,491
Now.
59
00:03:03,682 --> 00:03:06,098
So, does Sheldon have
anything special
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00:03:06,139 --> 00:03:07,527
planned for you tomorrow night?
61
00:03:07,556 --> 00:03:10,223
Oh, yes. According to the
Relationship Agreement,
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00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:12,074
on the anniversary
of our first date,
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00:03:12,095 --> 00:03:14,943
he must take me to a nice
dinner, ask about my day
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00:03:14,974 --> 00:03:16,862
and engage in casual
physical contact
65
00:03:16,874 --> 00:03:20,342
that a disinterested onlooker
might mistake for intimacy.
66
00:03:21,044 --> 00:03:22,994
That's hot.
67
00:03:23,576 --> 00:03:25,911
You kids better use protection.
68
00:03:27,101 --> 00:03:28,707
How long does this stay on?
69
00:03:28,732 --> 00:03:29,745
Just a couple of minutes.
70
00:03:29,768 --> 00:03:31,307
You've really never
done this before?
71
00:03:31,533 --> 00:03:33,577
Once in high school,
but I dozed off
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and woke up with second-degree
chemical burns on my face.
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00:03:36,961 --> 00:03:38,777
Oh, my gosh, that's awful.
74
00:03:38,793 --> 00:03:40,231
The other kids make fun of you?
75
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:43,552
No, I had a cover story;
I told everyone it was herpes.
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So, how's everything going
with you and Leonard?
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(sighs): I don't know,
it's still kind of weird.
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We haven't really recovered
since he proposed to me
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in the middle of sex.
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Oh. Boo-hoo.
81
00:03:55,771 --> 00:03:57,427
If Sheldon proposed
to me during sex,
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00:03:57,441 --> 00:04:01,209
my ovaries would grab on to him
and never let go.
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00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:10,464
Leonard, where do you stand
on the anthropic principle?
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00:04:10,487 --> 00:04:12,850
Interesting question. On the
one hand, I always thought...
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You don't even know
what it is, do you?
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The anthropic principle states
that if we wish to explain
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00:04:19,633 --> 00:04:21,985
why our universe exists
the way it does,
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the answer is that
it must have qualities
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00:04:24,745 --> 00:04:27,201
that allow intelligent
creatures to arise
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00:04:27,231 --> 00:04:29,398
who are capable of
asking the question.
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00:04:29,550 --> 00:04:33,018
As I am doing
so eloquently right now.
92
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:36,227
I know what
the anthropic principle is.
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00:04:36,420 --> 00:04:38,803
Of course.
I just explained it to you.
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00:04:39,541 --> 00:04:41,766
Now, where do you stand on it?
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00:04:41,793 --> 00:04:44,055
- Where do you stand on it?
- Strongly pro.
96
00:04:44,186 --> 00:04:46,784
Then I believe that God
created the world in six days,
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00:04:46,799 --> 00:04:49,500
and on the seventh,
he made you to annoy me.
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00:04:53,644 --> 00:04:54,631
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
99
00:04:54,655 --> 00:04:56,756
Yeah, wait, Raj,
where do you stand
100
00:04:56,775 --> 00:04:58,337
on the anthropic principle?
101
00:04:58,351 --> 00:05:00,126
- I'm all for it.
- Attaboy!
102
00:05:00,141 --> 00:05:01,920
Well, hang on.
Why do you believe
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00:05:01,945 --> 00:05:03,609
that he knows
what it is and I don't?
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00:05:03,620 --> 00:05:06,405
Oh, Leonard.
Let's not take a saw
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00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:09,006
to the branch
we're sitting on, shall we?
106
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:10,616
Hey, uh, if you guys
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00:05:10,635 --> 00:05:13,503
are free tonight, I heard about
a spa where you soak your feet
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in a pool full of little fish
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that eat all the dead skin
right off them.
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I don't need to tell you,
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in Los Angeles, sandal
season is year round.
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Actually, I'm hanging
out with Penny.
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Oh, okay. Sounds like
it's me and you, Sheldon.
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How about we sic some guppies
on those puppies?
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As I've stated before
on numerous occasions,
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the only sea creature I would
even consider being eaten by
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is the Kraken, because
the last words I would hear are:
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"Release the Kraken."
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That never gets old.
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"Release the Kraken!"
Oh, chills.
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Besides, I'm having
dinner with Amy.
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Oh, okay. I'll just go home
and be alone.
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W-Which is cool.
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I eat alone, I sleep alone,
I cry alone, so...
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Cool.
126
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Darn. If you weren't busy,
I'd ask you to join us.
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Really? I can
come? Thanks!
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Sheldon, are you sure
you want to be bringing Raj
129
00:06:13,222 --> 00:06:14,399
on your date night with Amy?
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Oh, absolutely.
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I have a contractual obligation
to provide Amy with conversation
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and casual physical contact,
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but nowhere is it specified
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that I can't outsource that
to an Indian.
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BERNADETTE:
Howie?
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Howie?
137
00:06:35,681 --> 00:06:38,469
Hey, there's my beautiful bride!
138
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:39,650
Can you see me?
139
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I can.
How are you?
140
00:06:42,092 --> 00:06:43,438
(chuckles):
I'm amazing.
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00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,955
I mean, this is
even better than I dreamed.
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I look out the window, and...
it's all so unbelievable.
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Good for you.
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I just had a seemingly endless
dinner with your mom.
145
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Oh, yeah? That's nice.
146
00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:02,327
It was. Until I found out
you never told her
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we're not gonna live with her.
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00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:07,323
Let's talk about that
for a minute.
149
00:07:08,734 --> 00:07:11,356
Hey, look, this pen is floating.
150
00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:14,621
How crazy is that?
151
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,087
You said you told her,
but you never did!
152
00:07:20,124 --> 00:07:23,609
Okay, okay, I know
you're upset, but...
153
00:07:23,806 --> 00:07:28,242
let me share something
I've learned since I got here.
154
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You realize how small your problems are
155
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when you're looking down
on them from space.
156
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(chuckles)
157
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Now, come on, that's got
to make you feel better.
158
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How clear is the image
of me on that screen?
159
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Pretty clear.
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Do I look like I feel better?
161
00:07:46,874 --> 00:07:50,262
I mean, it's not, like,
HD quality.
162
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Listen, mister, you're
gonna talk to your mother
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and you're gonna fix this,
or that thing I said
164
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I was gonna do to you
the minute you got home,
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you can do to yourself.
166
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(Russian accent): Like he's been
doing since he got here.
167
00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:13,662
Sheldon, this place
is so romantic.
168
00:08:13,696 --> 00:08:15,312
Oh, I'm glad you like it.
169
00:08:15,402 --> 00:08:16,785
Raj picked it out.
170
00:08:18,268 --> 00:08:20,795
Well, when you see him,
tell him I say thank you.
171
00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:22,896
Tell him yourself.
172
00:08:23,079 --> 00:08:24,198
Yoo-hoo!
173
00:08:24,227 --> 00:08:25,894
Over here!
174
00:08:27,797 --> 00:08:30,432
I don't understand.
What's he doing here?
175
00:08:30,465 --> 00:08:32,015
I invited him.
176
00:08:32,295 --> 00:08:33,657
On our date?
177
00:08:33,738 --> 00:08:35,571
Sheldon, that's not okay.
178
00:08:35,811 --> 00:08:36,967
Yes, it is.
179
00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:40,128
There's a loophole
in the Relationship Agreement.
180
00:08:40,405 --> 00:08:42,172
You found a loophole?
181
00:08:44,352 --> 00:08:47,615
Sorry I started without you.
I'm a little nervous.
182
00:08:47,637 --> 00:08:49,689
It's been a long time
since I've been on a date.
183
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:54,201
I can't believe I bleached
my mustache for this.
184
00:08:54,462 --> 00:08:55,462
You should go to my girl.
185
00:08:55,487 --> 00:08:57,621
She'll knock out
those sideburns for free.
186
00:09:04,422 --> 00:09:06,358
You know, Amy,
I don't even think
187
00:09:06,384 --> 00:09:08,651
you and I have had
a real conversation.
188
00:09:08,672 --> 00:09:11,790
Let's use tonight to get to know
each other a little better.
189
00:09:12,198 --> 00:09:13,898
You start.
190
00:09:16,718 --> 00:09:18,636
Go home.
191
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:20,268
I don't understand.
192
00:09:20,305 --> 00:09:23,173
Sheldon, how could you do this?
It's our second anniversary.
193
00:09:23,249 --> 00:09:24,982
It's your anniversary?!
194
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,953
Oh, my God, I had no idea.
195
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,736
Amy, please,
let me make this right.
196
00:09:30,762 --> 00:09:31,475
Thank you.
197
00:09:31,494 --> 00:09:32,994
My pleasure.
Waiter?
198
00:09:33,023 --> 00:09:35,624
A bottle of champagne
and three glasses.
199
00:09:36,549 --> 00:09:37,452
Oh, boy,
200
00:09:37,469 --> 00:09:39,936
isn't this romantic?
201
00:09:40,138 --> 00:09:42,226
Oh, I hope that's
a rhetorical question,
202
00:09:42,254 --> 00:09:44,420
because I have no clue.
203
00:09:46,908 --> 00:09:48,665
This is great.
What's the occasion?
204
00:09:48,690 --> 00:09:50,684
No occasion. You know,
things have been
205
00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:53,700
a little weird between us,
so I wanted to throw together
206
00:09:53,717 --> 00:09:54,767
a fun night just for you.
207
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:57,052
That is so sweet.
I got all your favorites.
208
00:09:57,072 --> 00:09:58,302
Beer, wings, sliders.
209
00:09:58,322 --> 00:09:59,728
We can watch the football game.
210
00:09:59,757 --> 00:10:01,957
I even painted my stomach.
211
00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:06,238
- "Go sports"?
- Well...
212
00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:07,659
in case you were in
the mood for baseball,
213
00:10:07,683 --> 00:10:10,275
I didn't want to
look ridiculous.
214
00:10:10,645 --> 00:10:12,351
This is awesome.
I love it!
215
00:10:12,366 --> 00:10:13,245
Good, I'm glad.
216
00:10:13,261 --> 00:10:14,845
Gosh, I worked
my ass off today.
217
00:10:14,872 --> 00:10:16,240
This is exactly what I needed.
218
00:10:16,269 --> 00:10:17,925
Great. Just relax and enjoy.
219
00:10:17,945 --> 00:10:19,237
Tonight is all about you.
220
00:10:19,255 --> 00:10:21,117
Ah, thank you!
221
00:10:21,178 --> 00:10:23,779
(chuckles, sighs)
222
00:10:24,593 --> 00:10:28,199
So, where exactly are we
in this relationship?
223
00:10:28,401 --> 00:10:29,767
Oh, come on!
224
00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:31,407
I just told you
I had a hard day.
225
00:10:31,428 --> 00:10:33,293
You're right, I'm sorry.
Let's watch the game.
226
00:10:33,318 --> 00:10:34,667
Great.
227
00:10:35,081 --> 00:10:36,414
(sighs)
228
00:10:36,872 --> 00:10:38,806
I just know the longer
we wait to talk about it,
229
00:10:38,828 --> 00:10:40,895
the weirder it gets.
230
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,709
Sweetie, can I just be
the girl tonight?
231
00:10:45,016 --> 00:10:47,016
Absolutely.
You're the girl, I'm the guy.
232
00:10:47,599 --> 00:10:49,162
Now, you watch
your football game
233
00:10:49,174 --> 00:10:51,922
while I make you a little plate here.
- Thank you!
234
00:10:52,942 --> 00:10:54,176
(knocking)
235
00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:55,356
Oh, I'll get it.
236
00:10:55,384 --> 00:10:57,634
Go sports!
(chuckles)
237
00:10:59,206 --> 00:11:01,624
Hello-lo-lo.
238
00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:03,033
What are you doing here?
239
00:11:03,054 --> 00:11:04,560
I thought you were out
with Sheldon and Amy.
240
00:11:04,578 --> 00:11:05,999
I was, but it's
their anniversary
241
00:11:06,024 --> 00:11:07,424
and I didn't want
to be a third wheel,
242
00:11:07,447 --> 00:11:08,730
so I figured I'd come over here
243
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:11,067
and hang out with you
and Penny on your date.
244
00:11:11,794 --> 00:11:13,557
Well, it's not really
a great time.
245
00:11:13,567 --> 00:11:15,450
Penny and I have some things
we need to talk about.
246
00:11:15,478 --> 00:11:17,261
No, we don't!
Come on in!
247
00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:19,721
Sweet!
248
00:11:19,829 --> 00:11:24,215
(quietly): I can't believe
I shaved my stomach for this.
249
00:11:28,829 --> 00:11:31,114
Hey, Froot Loops.
250
00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:36,246
You got a phone call.
251
00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:37,569
Who is it?
252
00:11:37,808 --> 00:11:39,333
A woman who says
she's your mother
253
00:11:39,349 --> 00:11:41,766
but sounds like your father.
254
00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:47,676
Hey, Ma.
255
00:11:47,714 --> 00:11:49,709
You know, we could
see each other
256
00:11:49,728 --> 00:11:51,475
if you turn on the computer.
257
00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,837
I'm not going near
that fakakta thing.
258
00:11:53,864 --> 00:11:56,781
I'll catch a computer virus!
259
00:11:57,786 --> 00:12:00,955
You can't catch
a computer virus.
260
00:12:00,977 --> 00:12:05,575
Oh, so now you're an astronaut
and a doctor?
261
00:12:06,228 --> 00:12:09,028
(voice cracks):
What do you want, Ma?
262
00:12:09,203 --> 00:12:13,004
Your wife says you have
something important to tell me.
263
00:12:13,746 --> 00:12:16,634
Okay, here it is.
264
00:12:17,119 --> 00:12:21,224
Bernadette and I are starting
a life together and...
265
00:12:21,235 --> 00:12:24,186
Oh, God!
You are gonna leave me!
266
00:12:24,251 --> 00:12:25,170
Ma...
267
00:12:25,186 --> 00:12:26,519
It's okay.
268
00:12:26,753 --> 00:12:29,068
Your father left me,
you left me--
269
00:12:29,104 --> 00:12:32,655
I guess I'm just the kind
of person people like to leave.
270
00:12:35,224 --> 00:12:36,943
It's not... definite.
271
00:12:36,978 --> 00:12:39,145
I'll talk to Bernadette.
272
00:12:39,253 --> 00:12:40,419
Don't bother.
273
00:12:40,446 --> 00:12:42,453
I'll just go sit in a hole
in the ground
274
00:12:42,469 --> 00:12:45,252
so I'm no trouble when I die.
275
00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:48,014
Stop it, Ma.
276
00:12:48,044 --> 00:12:51,682
I'm sure I can get
Bernie to come around.
277
00:12:51,732 --> 00:12:52,963
I knew it!
278
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:55,209
I knew she was behind this!
279
00:12:55,249 --> 00:12:57,696
You listen to me,
if you want to be a man,
280
00:12:57,704 --> 00:13:01,072
you can't let a woman
tell you what to do!
281
00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:02,860
Okay,
282
00:13:02,877 --> 00:13:04,591
okay.
(sighs)
283
00:13:04,725 --> 00:13:08,126
I can't believe these people
won the Cold War.
284
00:13:10,516 --> 00:13:13,396
Now, can we please
change the subject?
285
00:13:13,633 --> 00:13:14,492
Fine.
286
00:13:14,524 --> 00:13:16,657
Explain why
you've been gone so long
287
00:13:16,677 --> 00:13:18,458
and I haven't gotten
a single letter.
288
00:13:18,503 --> 00:13:21,971
Not even a lousy postcard!
289
00:13:23,392 --> 00:13:26,144
(TV sports announcer talking)
290
00:13:26,777 --> 00:13:29,747
You know, I'm growing to like
American football.
291
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:31,812
- Yeah, it's fun, isn't it?
- Well...
292
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,627
it's not the balls-to-the-wall
action of badminton or cricket,
293
00:13:34,653 --> 00:13:36,769
but hey...
294
00:13:37,553 --> 00:13:39,512
what is?
295
00:13:40,284 --> 00:13:41,751
All right, who's ready
for another beer?
296
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,344
- I'm good.
- No, thank you.
297
00:13:43,672 --> 00:13:45,205
Girls.
298
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,715
(sighs): I am having
the nicest time.
299
00:13:48,741 --> 00:13:50,875
You guys are like family to me.
300
00:13:50,908 --> 00:13:51,741
You know that, right?
301
00:13:51,772 --> 00:13:53,755
That's great.
Get out.
302
00:13:54,394 --> 00:13:55,348
What? Why?
303
00:13:55,392 --> 00:13:57,730
Penny and I have some issues
we need to talk about.
304
00:13:57,762 --> 00:13:58,368
Oh...
305
00:13:58,393 --> 00:14:00,643
pish on your issues!
306
00:14:01,794 --> 00:14:03,614
You guys are fine.
307
00:14:03,824 --> 00:14:06,318
Yes, you hit some bumps
along the way.
308
00:14:06,364 --> 00:14:07,537
I mean, Penny,
309
00:14:07,587 --> 00:14:09,929
you've always known how this man
has felt about you,
310
00:14:09,963 --> 00:14:12,100
but you made him
grovel for affection.
311
00:14:12,126 --> 00:14:13,160
Okay, hold on...
312
00:14:13,173 --> 00:14:14,616
Now, don't blame yourself.
313
00:14:14,637 --> 00:14:16,937
He was a groveler from way back.
314
00:14:18,293 --> 00:14:22,263
But the point is,
the two of you got past it.
315
00:14:22,421 --> 00:14:24,220
And, Leonard,
you go and propose
316
00:14:24,290 --> 00:14:26,271
to this poor girl
in the middle of sex?
317
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,116
That was some weak tea, dude.
318
00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:31,904
Some people might
say it was romantic.
319
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,656
Yeah, no.
320
00:14:34,972 --> 00:14:38,241
But yet, here you two are,
still together.
321
00:14:38,566 --> 00:14:41,074
And that's even after you and I
had our crazy naked night.
322
00:14:41,105 --> 00:14:42,243
- Okay...
- That's enough.
323
00:14:42,262 --> 00:14:43,795
I'm just saying
324
00:14:43,991 --> 00:14:46,000
that after everything
you've been through,
325
00:14:46,025 --> 00:14:47,853
you get to look
into each other's eyes
326
00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:50,542
and say "I love you."
327
00:14:50,870 --> 00:14:52,887
And that's beautiful.
328
00:14:55,744 --> 00:14:58,963
Actually, to this day,
she's never really said it.
329
00:14:59,143 --> 00:15:01,986
Oh, Penny!
That's ridiculous!
330
00:15:02,913 --> 00:15:03,879
You know you love him!
331
00:15:03,931 --> 00:15:05,464
You look him in the eyes
and you say it.
332
00:15:05,479 --> 00:15:06,634
- Raj...
- Oh, come on,
333
00:15:06,649 --> 00:15:08,733
you know you want to say it.
Say it.
334
00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:11,594
Say you love him.
335
00:15:13,384 --> 00:15:15,567
Say it!
336
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,638
I really thought
she would say it.
337
00:15:29,856 --> 00:15:34,154
Have I ever told you you're
like a sexy praying mantis?
338
00:15:35,562 --> 00:15:38,229
Every time you drink alcohol.
339
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:41,677
You know what's wonderful
about the praying mantis?
340
00:15:42,065 --> 00:15:44,640
They devour their mate.
341
00:15:45,395 --> 00:15:47,195
Your point being?
342
00:15:53,946 --> 00:15:56,414
Dessert is served.
343
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:59,926
I just had cobbler.
344
00:16:00,819 --> 00:16:02,453
You know what?
345
00:16:02,998 --> 00:16:04,781
I'm done with this.
346
00:16:05,791 --> 00:16:07,191
W-Where are
you going?
347
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:08,677
I'm leaving.
348
00:16:08,795 --> 00:16:10,378
You can't leave.
349
00:16:10,405 --> 00:16:11,837
I need you.
350
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:15,884
You do?
351
00:16:15,946 --> 00:16:17,662
Yes.
352
00:16:17,732 --> 00:16:19,966
You're my ride.
353
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:24,629
Sheldon, you either say
something meaningful
354
00:16:24,654 --> 00:16:28,173
and from the heart,
or you and I are done.
355
00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,047
All right.
356
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,680
Please.
357
00:16:38,353 --> 00:16:40,253
Amy...
358
00:16:41,044 --> 00:16:43,138
when I look in your eyes
359
00:16:43,228 --> 00:16:45,428
and you're looking
back in mine,
360
00:16:45,937 --> 00:16:49,331
everything feels
not quite normal,
361
00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:51,911
because I feel
362
00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:55,385
stronger and weaker
at the same time.
363
00:16:55,552 --> 00:17:01,456
I feel excited and,
at the same time, terrified.
364
00:17:02,407 --> 00:17:03,863
The truth is,
365
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:06,915
I don't know
what I feel, except...
366
00:17:07,304 --> 00:17:10,873
I know what kind of man
I want to be.
367
00:17:12,357 --> 00:17:14,191
Sheldon...
368
00:17:14,524 --> 00:17:15,754
that was beautiful.
369
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:16,808
I should hope so.
370
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,211
That's from the first
Spider-Man movie.
371
00:17:24,481 --> 00:17:26,815
I'll take it.
372
00:17:27,902 --> 00:17:29,319
Good.
373
00:17:29,446 --> 00:17:31,993
Now, I assume
we're splitting the check?
374
00:17:36,105 --> 00:17:37,175
Hey, Stuart.
375
00:17:37,202 --> 00:17:40,230
Oh, hey. I was actually
just about to close up.
376
00:17:40,289 --> 00:17:41,428
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave.
377
00:17:41,453 --> 00:17:43,464
No, no. It's
okay. Hang out.
378
00:17:43,527 --> 00:17:44,314
You sure?
379
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,822
Yeah, you're
my first customer today.
380
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,874
All right. Great.
381
00:17:48,913 --> 00:17:50,746
I'm, uh, having a nightcap.
382
00:17:50,783 --> 00:17:52,169
You want to join me?
383
00:17:52,227 --> 00:17:53,196
What are you drinking?
384
00:17:53,275 --> 00:17:56,065
Coffee liqueur
in a Chewbacca mug.
385
00:17:56,135 --> 00:17:58,986
I call it a sad-tini.
386
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,619
Perfect for the night
I'm having. Thank you.
387
00:18:01,735 --> 00:18:04,755
Hmm. Nice not
to drink alone.
388
00:18:04,895 --> 00:18:06,545
Amen to that.
389
00:18:07,147 --> 00:18:08,426
Sometimes I pour
390
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:11,297
a little chardonnay
into my dog's water bowl.
391
00:18:12,281 --> 00:18:13,219
You're kidding.
392
00:18:13,238 --> 00:18:16,178
She's kind of a mean drunk,
but what are you gonna do?
393
00:18:16,698 --> 00:18:17,324
Cheers.
394
00:18:17,365 --> 00:18:18,814
Cheers.
395
00:18:18,884 --> 00:18:20,651
- A little music?
- Sure.
396
00:18:21,235 --> 00:18:24,380
(soft Brazilian jazz playing)
397
00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:27,014
Mmm. Bossa nova.
398
00:18:27,978 --> 00:18:30,566
You listen to that with
your hips as well as your ears.
399
00:18:30,603 --> 00:18:32,002
Mmm.
400
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:34,919
Oh.
401
00:18:35,756 --> 00:18:37,839
Something about...
402
00:18:37,922 --> 00:18:39,905
Latin music just
makes me feel like
403
00:18:39,922 --> 00:18:43,216
I'm on a white sand beach
in Rio.
404
00:18:44,455 --> 00:18:45,789
Yeah.
405
00:18:45,985 --> 00:18:49,950
The sun, the waves,
the beautiful bodies,
406
00:18:50,073 --> 00:18:53,451
tanned and glistening
with sweat.
407
00:18:53,709 --> 00:18:56,193
(Brazilian jazz continues)
408
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:10,916
- I should go.
- Yeah.
409
00:19:11,807 --> 00:19:13,601
Uh, thank you for the drink.
410
00:19:13,679 --> 00:19:15,919
No problem.
411
00:19:16,182 --> 00:19:17,064
(sighs)
412
00:19:17,347 --> 00:19:19,297
- Hey, Stuart.
- Yeah?
413
00:19:19,724 --> 00:19:22,165
Do you want to...
hang out tomorrow night,
414
00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:24,857
maybe grab a bite to eat
or catch a late movie?
415
00:19:24,907 --> 00:19:28,725
Yeah, I-I'd like to,
but I'm a little tight on funds.
416
00:19:28,889 --> 00:19:30,406
No problem. My treat.
417
00:19:30,721 --> 00:19:32,017
I'll swing by after work.
418
00:19:32,079 --> 00:19:32,936
Okay.
419
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:34,673
Okay.
420
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:41,329
I could do worse.
421
00:19:46,382 --> 00:19:48,192
BERNADETTE: Aw, that's such
good news, Howie.
422
00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:49,483
Thank you for telling her.
423
00:19:49,514 --> 00:19:52,632
Hey, I'm a grown man;
I'm gonna live with my wife.
424
00:19:52,696 --> 00:19:57,115
My mother's just gonna have
to learn to make do on her own.
425
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,943
Was she upset?
426
00:19:59,121 --> 00:20:02,489
Who can tell?
She yells everything.
427
00:20:04,198 --> 00:20:05,986
She might have been upset.
428
00:20:06,058 --> 00:20:08,275
She might have been hungry.
429
00:20:09,656 --> 00:20:11,287
Thanks for fixing it.
430
00:20:11,371 --> 00:20:12,669
I love you.
431
00:20:12,691 --> 00:20:13,847
I love you, too.
432
00:20:13,885 --> 00:20:15,885
Sweet dreams.
I'll talk to you tomorrow?
433
00:20:16,175 --> 00:20:18,465
Good night, Rocket Man.
434
00:20:18,895 --> 00:20:21,562
To infinity and beyond, baby.
435
00:20:21,614 --> 00:20:23,047
(clicks tongue)
436
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:25,608
Loops.
437
00:20:25,718 --> 00:20:27,933
You realize you just
lied your ass off
438
00:20:27,964 --> 00:20:30,064
to your wife and your mother.
439
00:20:30,209 --> 00:20:31,575
I know.
440
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,714
What are you gonna do
when you get back to Earth?
441
00:20:33,929 --> 00:20:35,773
Oh, I'm never going back.
442
00:20:36,785 --> 00:20:42,785
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther