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00:00:01,470 --> 00:00:03,254
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:06,361
OTHERS: We now pronounce you
husband and wife!
3
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,812
(loud rumbling)
I love this part!
4
00:00:11,814 --> 00:00:13,397
Me, too!
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00:00:13,399 --> 00:00:16,867
I have strongly mixed feelings!
6
00:00:18,636 --> 00:00:21,621
So, Howard's really
in space, huh?
7
00:00:21,623 --> 00:00:23,523
Mm-hmm, International
Space Station.
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00:00:23,525 --> 00:00:25,625
250 miles that way.
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00:00:25,627 --> 00:00:28,412
Right now, Howard's
staring down at our planet
10
00:00:28,414 --> 00:00:31,965
like a tiny Jewish Greek god.
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00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:35,035
Zeusowitz.
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SHELDON:
I must admit,
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I can't help
but feel a twinge of envy.
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He can look out the window and
see the majesty of the universe
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00:00:42,561 --> 00:00:44,678
unfolding before his eyes.
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His dim, uncomprehending eyes.
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It's like a cat
in an airport carrying case.
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00:00:54,490 --> 00:00:57,574
You know, it's not exactly
glamorous up there.
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The water that
the astronauts drink
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00:00:59,611 --> 00:01:02,162
is made from each other's
recycled urine.
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Must be nice.
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Nobody wants anything
that comes out of me.
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(sighs): I wonder what he's
doing right this very second.
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Mm, conducting experiments
in zero gravity.
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Peering through his telescope
at the birth of the cosmos.
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Whatever it is, we know his
life will never be the same.
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MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard! Can you hear me?!
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I can hear you
without the phone!
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Don't be snippy.
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I'm just excited to talk
to my baby!
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I'm excited to talk to you, too.
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So, what's this mishegas
about you moving out
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00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:44,788
to go live with
the little Polish girl?!
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How about calling her my wife?
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Wives don't take boys
from their mothers.
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They do.
That's why we marry them!
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I just hope I'm not dead
from a broken heart
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before you get back.
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Ma, please. Everyone from NASA
is listening to this phone call.
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Good. They should know
what a horrible son you are!
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00:02:07,312 --> 00:02:10,514
Okay, Ma, great talking to you!
Gotta go!
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
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♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
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♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
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00:02:27,533 --> 00:02:30,150
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
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00:02:30,152 --> 00:02:32,769
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
49
00:02:32,771 --> 00:02:35,455
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
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00:02:35,457 --> 00:02:37,374
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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♪ Bang! ♪
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♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x01 ♪
The Date Night Variable
Original Air Date on September 27, 2012
53
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
54
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This is so exciting.
55
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Soon, my upper lip will
be the same fake blonde
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00:02:53,977 --> 00:02:56,060
as my beautiful
best friend.
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00:02:56,895 --> 00:02:59,280
Hey, this is
my natural hair color.
58
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,618
Now.
59
00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:05,787
So, does Sheldon have
anything special
60
00:03:05,789 --> 00:03:07,572
planned for you
tomorrow night?
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00:03:07,574 --> 00:03:10,241
Oh, yes. According to the
Relationship Agreement,
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00:03:10,243 --> 00:03:12,093
on the anniversary
of our first date,
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00:03:12,095 --> 00:03:15,263
he must take me to a nice
dinner, ask about my day
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00:03:15,265 --> 00:03:17,215
and engage in casual
physical contact
65
00:03:17,217 --> 00:03:20,685
that a disinterested onlooker
might mistake for intimacy.
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00:03:20,687 --> 00:03:22,637
That's hot.
67
00:03:23,939 --> 00:03:26,274
You kids better use protection.
68
00:03:26,276 --> 00:03:28,893
How long does
this stay on?
69
00:03:28,895 --> 00:03:30,028
Just a couple of minutes.
70
00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:31,312
You've really never
done this before?
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00:03:31,314 --> 00:03:33,865
Once in high school,
but I dozed off
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and woke up with second-degree
chemical burns on my face.
73
00:03:37,087 --> 00:03:38,903
Oh, my gosh,
that's awful.
74
00:03:38,905 --> 00:03:40,488
The other kids
make fun of you?
75
00:03:40,490 --> 00:03:43,792
No, I had a cover story;
I told everyone it was herpes.
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So, how's everything going
with you and Leonard?
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(sighs): I don't know,
it's still kind of weird.
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We haven't really recovered
since he proposed to me
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in the middle of sex.
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00:03:53,270 --> 00:03:55,887
Oh. Boo-hoo.
81
00:03:55,889 --> 00:03:57,789
If Sheldon proposed
to me during sex,
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00:03:57,791 --> 00:04:01,559
my ovaries would grab on to him
and never let go.
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00:04:05,981 --> 00:04:10,485
Leonard, where do you stand
on the anthropic principle?
84
00:04:10,487 --> 00:04:13,188
Interesting question. On the
one hand, I always thought...
85
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You don't even know
what it is, do you?
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The anthropic principle states
that if we wish to explain
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00:04:19,696 --> 00:04:22,197
why our universe exists
the way it does,
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the answer is that
it must have qualities
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that allow intelligent
creatures to arise
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00:04:27,537 --> 00:04:29,704
who are capable of
asking the question.
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00:04:29,706 --> 00:04:33,174
As I am doing
so eloquently right now.
92
00:04:33,176 --> 00:04:36,211
I know what
the anthropic principle is.
93
00:04:36,213 --> 00:04:38,596
Of course.
I just explained it to you.
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Now, where do you
stand on it?
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00:04:42,168 --> 00:04:44,302
Where do you stand on it?
Strongly pro.
96
00:04:44,304 --> 00:04:47,071
Then I believe that God
created the world in six days,
97
00:04:47,073 --> 00:04:49,774
and on the seventh,
he made you to annoy me.
98
00:04:53,562 --> 00:04:55,146
Hey, guys.
Hey.
99
00:04:55,148 --> 00:04:57,065
Yeah, wait, Raj,
where do you stand
100
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:58,700
on the anthropic
principle?
101
00:04:58,702 --> 00:05:00,852
I'm all for it.
Attaboy!
102
00:05:00,854 --> 00:05:02,186
Well, hang on.
Why do you believe
103
00:05:02,188 --> 00:05:03,905
that he knows
what it is and I don't?
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00:05:03,907 --> 00:05:06,624
Oh, Leonard.
Let's not take a saw
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00:05:06,626 --> 00:05:09,193
to the branch
we're sitting on, shall we?
106
00:05:09,195 --> 00:05:10,745
Hey, uh,
if you guys
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00:05:10,747 --> 00:05:13,832
are free tonight, I heard about
a spa where you soak your feet
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in a pool full of little fish
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that eat all the dead skin
right off them.
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I don't need
to tell you,
111
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in Los Angeles, sandal
season is year round.
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Actually, I'm hanging
out with Penny.
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Oh, okay. Sounds like
it's me and you, Sheldon.
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How about we sic some guppies
on those puppies?
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As I've stated before
on numerous occasions,
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the only sea creature I would
even consider being eaten by
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is the Kraken, because
the last words I would hear are:
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"Release the Kraken."
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That never gets old.
120
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"Release the Kraken!"
Oh, chills.
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Besides, I'm having
dinner with Amy.
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00:05:52,088 --> 00:05:54,923
Oh, okay. I'll just go home
and be alone.
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W-Which is cool.
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I eat alone, I sleep alone,
I cry alone, so...
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Cool.
126
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Darn. If you weren't busy,
I'd ask you to join us.
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Really? I can
come? Thanks!
128
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Sheldon, are you sure
you want to be bringing Raj
129
00:06:13,109 --> 00:06:14,726
on your date night
with Amy?
130
00:06:14,728 --> 00:06:16,477
Oh, absolutely.
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I have a contractual obligation
to provide Amy with conversation
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and casual
physical contact,
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but nowhere is it specified
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that I can't outsource that
to an Indian.
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BERNADETTE:
Howie?
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Howie?
137
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Hey, there's my beautiful bride!
138
00:06:38,919 --> 00:06:40,218
Can you see me?
139
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I can.
How are you?
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(chuckles):
I'm amazing.
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00:06:43,723 --> 00:06:46,174
I mean, this is
even better than I dreamed.
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I look out the window, and...
it's all so unbelievable.
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Good for you.
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00:06:52,265 --> 00:06:56,734
I just had a seemingly endless
dinner with your mom.
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00:06:57,569 --> 00:06:59,904
Oh, yeah? That's nice.
146
00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:02,607
It was. Until I found out
you never told her
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we're not gonna live with her.
148
00:07:04,094 --> 00:07:07,528
Let's talk about that
for a minute.
149
00:07:08,414 --> 00:07:11,649
Hey, look, this pen is floating.
150
00:07:11,651 --> 00:07:14,702
How crazy is that?
151
00:07:17,873 --> 00:07:20,341
You said you told her,
but you never did!
152
00:07:20,343 --> 00:07:23,828
Okay, okay, I know
you're upset, but...
153
00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:28,266
let me share something
I've learned since I got here.
154
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You realize
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how small your problems are
156
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when you're looking down
on them from space.
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(chuckles)
158
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Now, come on, that's got
to make you feel better.
159
00:07:38,828 --> 00:07:41,996
How clear is the image
of me on that screen?
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00:07:41,998 --> 00:07:43,531
Pretty clear.
161
00:07:43,533 --> 00:07:46,334
Do I look like I feel better?
162
00:07:46,336 --> 00:07:51,122
I mean, it's not, like,
HD quality.
163
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Listen, mister, you're
gonna talk to your mother
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and you're gonna fix this,
or that thing I said
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I was gonna do to you
the minute you got home,
166
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you can do to yourself.
167
00:08:02,534 --> 00:08:05,420
(Russian accent): Like he's been
doing since he got here.
168
00:08:10,542 --> 00:08:14,062
Sheldon, this place
is so romantic.
169
00:08:14,064 --> 00:08:15,680
Oh, I'm glad you like it.
170
00:08:15,682 --> 00:08:17,065
Raj picked it out.
171
00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:21,102
Well, when you see him,
tell him I say thank you.
172
00:08:21,104 --> 00:08:22,820
Tell him yourself.
173
00:08:22,822 --> 00:08:24,655
Yoo-hoo!
174
00:08:24,657 --> 00:08:26,324
Over here!
175
00:08:28,077 --> 00:08:30,712
I don't understand.
What's he doing here?
176
00:08:30,714 --> 00:08:31,779
I invited him.
177
00:08:31,781 --> 00:08:33,948
On our date?
178
00:08:33,950 --> 00:08:35,783
Sheldon, that's not okay.
179
00:08:35,785 --> 00:08:37,335
Yes, it is.
180
00:08:37,337 --> 00:08:40,471
There's a loophole
in the Relationship Agreement.
181
00:08:40,473 --> 00:08:42,240
You found a loophole?
182
00:08:44,426 --> 00:08:47,328
Sorry I started without you.
I'm a little nervous.
183
00:08:47,330 --> 00:08:50,098
It's been a long time
since I've been on a date.
184
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:54,552
I can't believe I bleached
my mustache for this.
185
00:08:54,554 --> 00:08:55,803
You should go
to my girl.
186
00:08:55,805 --> 00:08:57,939
She'll knock out
those sideburns for free.
187
00:09:04,608 --> 00:09:06,674
You know, Amy,
I don't even think
188
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,943
you and I have had
a real conversation.
189
00:09:08,945 --> 00:09:12,063
Let's use tonight to get to know
each other a little better.
190
00:09:12,065 --> 00:09:13,765
You start.
191
00:09:16,635 --> 00:09:18,553
Go home.
192
00:09:18,555 --> 00:09:20,738
I don't understand.
193
00:09:20,740 --> 00:09:23,608
Sheldon, how could you do this?
It's our second anniversary.
194
00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:25,343
It's your anniversary?!
195
00:09:25,345 --> 00:09:28,346
Oh, my God, I had no idea.
196
00:09:28,348 --> 00:09:30,865
Amy, please,
let me make this right.
197
00:09:30,867 --> 00:09:32,016
Thank you.
198
00:09:32,018 --> 00:09:33,351
My pleasure.
Waiter?
199
00:09:33,353 --> 00:09:35,954
A bottle of champagne
and three glasses.
200
00:09:36,822 --> 00:09:38,022
Oh, boy,
201
00:09:38,024 --> 00:09:40,491
isn't this romantic?
202
00:09:40,493 --> 00:09:42,694
Oh, I hope that's
a rhetorical question,
203
00:09:42,696 --> 00:09:44,862
because I have no clue.
204
00:09:46,882 --> 00:09:49,167
This is great.
What's the occasion?
205
00:09:49,169 --> 00:09:51,002
No occasion. You know,
things have been
206
00:09:51,004 --> 00:09:53,838
a little weird between us,
so I wanted to throw together
207
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,173
a fun night
just for you.
208
00:09:55,175 --> 00:09:57,425
That is so sweet.
I got all your favorites.
209
00:09:57,427 --> 00:09:58,593
Beer, wings, sliders.
210
00:09:58,595 --> 00:10:00,228
We can watch the
football game.
211
00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:02,430
I even painted my stomach.
212
00:10:04,066 --> 00:10:06,217
"Go sports"?
Well...
213
00:10:06,219 --> 00:10:08,236
in case you were in
the mood for baseball,
214
00:10:08,238 --> 00:10:11,155
I didn't want to
look ridiculous.
215
00:10:11,157 --> 00:10:12,556
This is awesome.
I love it!
216
00:10:12,558 --> 00:10:13,557
Good, I'm glad.
217
00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:15,143
Gosh, I worked
my ass off today.
218
00:10:15,145 --> 00:10:16,577
This is exactly
what I needed.
219
00:10:16,579 --> 00:10:18,329
Great. Just relax and enjoy.
220
00:10:18,331 --> 00:10:19,814
Tonight is all about you.
221
00:10:19,816 --> 00:10:21,449
Ah, thank you!
222
00:10:21,451 --> 00:10:24,052
(chuckles, sighs)
223
00:10:24,054 --> 00:10:27,839
So, where exactly are we
in this relationship?
224
00:10:28,674 --> 00:10:29,874
Oh, come on!
225
00:10:29,876 --> 00:10:32,043
I just told you
I had a hard day.
226
00:10:32,045 --> 00:10:33,795
You're right, I'm sorry.
Let's watch the game.
227
00:10:33,797 --> 00:10:35,146
Great.
228
00:10:35,148 --> 00:10:36,481
(sighs)
229
00:10:36,483 --> 00:10:39,350
I just know the longer
we wait to talk about it,
230
00:10:39,352 --> 00:10:41,419
the weirder it gets.
231
00:10:41,421 --> 00:10:45,106
Sweetie, can I just be
the girl tonight?
232
00:10:45,108 --> 00:10:47,108
Absolutely.
You're the girl, I'm the guy.
233
00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:48,626
Now, you watch
your football game
234
00:10:48,628 --> 00:10:50,628
while I make you a
little plate here.
235
00:10:50,630 --> 00:10:52,463
Thank you!
236
00:10:53,465 --> 00:10:54,699
(knocking)
237
00:10:54,701 --> 00:10:55,867
Oh, I'll get it.
238
00:10:55,869 --> 00:10:58,119
Go sports!
(chuckles)
239
00:10:59,655 --> 00:11:02,073
Hello-lo-lo.
240
00:11:02,075 --> 00:11:03,207
What are you doing here?
241
00:11:03,209 --> 00:11:04,993
I thought you were out
th Sheldon and Amy.
242
00:11:04,995 --> 00:11:06,127
I was, but it's
their anniversary
243
00:11:06,129 --> 00:11:08,012
and I didn't want
to be a third wheel,
244
00:11:08,014 --> 00:11:09,297
so I figured I'd come over here
245
00:11:09,299 --> 00:11:11,615
and hang out with you
and Penny on your date.
246
00:11:11,617 --> 00:11:14,002
Well, it's not really
a great time.
247
00:11:14,004 --> 00:11:15,887
Penny and I have some things
we need to talk about.
248
00:11:15,889 --> 00:11:17,672
No, we don't!
Come on in!
249
00:11:17,674 --> 00:11:19,457
Sweet!
250
00:11:19,459 --> 00:11:23,845
(quietly): I can't believe
I shaved my stomach for this.
251
00:11:29,284 --> 00:11:31,569
Hey, Froot Loops.
252
00:11:34,656 --> 00:11:36,691
You got a phone call.
253
00:11:36,693 --> 00:11:37,842
Who is it?
254
00:11:37,844 --> 00:11:39,827
A woman who says
she's your mother
255
00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:42,246
but sounds like
your father.
256
00:11:45,918 --> 00:11:47,985
Hey, Ma.
257
00:11:47,987 --> 00:11:50,088
You know, we could
see each other
258
00:11:50,090 --> 00:11:52,006
if you turn on the computer.
259
00:11:52,008 --> 00:11:54,342
I'm not going near
that fakakta thing.
260
00:11:54,344 --> 00:11:57,261
I'll catch a computer virus!
261
00:11:58,097 --> 00:12:01,349
You can't catch
a computer virus.
262
00:12:01,351 --> 00:12:06,187
Oh, so now you're an astronaut
and a doctor?
263
00:12:06,189 --> 00:12:09,474
(voice cracks):
What do you want, Ma?
264
00:12:09,476 --> 00:12:13,277
Your wife says you have
something important to tell me.
265
00:12:14,063 --> 00:12:17,115
Okay, here it is.
266
00:12:17,117 --> 00:12:21,569
Bernadette and I are starting
a life together and...
267
00:12:21,571 --> 00:12:24,522
Oh, God!
You are gonna leave me!
268
00:12:24,524 --> 00:12:25,689
Ma...
269
00:12:25,691 --> 00:12:27,024
It's okay.
270
00:12:27,026 --> 00:12:29,494
Your father left me,
you left me--
271
00:12:29,496 --> 00:12:33,047
I guess I'm just the kind
of person people like to leave.
272
00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:37,468
It's not... definite.
273
00:12:37,470 --> 00:12:39,637
I'll talk to Bernadette.
274
00:12:39,639 --> 00:12:40,805
Don't bother.
275
00:12:40,807 --> 00:12:43,091
I'll just go sit in a hole
in the ground
276
00:12:43,093 --> 00:12:45,876
so I'm no trouble when I die.
277
00:12:46,762 --> 00:12:48,479
Stop it, Ma.
278
00:12:48,481 --> 00:12:52,216
I'm sure I can get
Bernie to come around.
279
00:12:52,218 --> 00:12:53,885
I knew it!
280
00:12:53,887 --> 00:12:55,520
I knew she was behind this!
281
00:12:55,522 --> 00:12:58,156
You listen to me,
if you want to be a man,
282
00:12:58,158 --> 00:13:01,943
you can't let a woman
tell you what to do!
283
00:13:01,945 --> 00:13:03,111
Okay,
284
00:13:03,113 --> 00:13:04,996
okay.
(sighs)
285
00:13:04,998 --> 00:13:08,399
I can't believe these people
won the Cold War.
286
00:13:10,402 --> 00:13:13,704
Now, can we please
change the subject?
287
00:13:13,706 --> 00:13:14,839
Fine.
288
00:13:14,841 --> 00:13:16,974
Explain why
you've been gone so long
289
00:13:16,976 --> 00:13:19,043
and I haven't gotten
a single letter.
290
00:13:19,045 --> 00:13:22,513
Not even a lousy postcard!
291
00:13:23,665 --> 00:13:26,417
(TV sports announcer talking)
292
00:13:26,419 --> 00:13:30,254
You know, I'm growing to like
American football.
293
00:13:30,256 --> 00:13:32,290
Yeah, it's fun, isn't it?
Well...
294
00:13:32,292 --> 00:13:35,143
it's not the balls-to-the-wall
action of badminton or cricket,
295
00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:37,261
but hey...
296
00:13:37,263 --> 00:13:39,497
what is?
297
00:13:40,632 --> 00:13:42,099
All right, who's ready
for another beer?
298
00:13:42,101 --> 00:13:43,668
I'm good.
No, thank you.
299
00:13:43,670 --> 00:13:45,203
Girls.
300
00:13:46,038 --> 00:13:48,806
(sighs): I am having
the nicest time.
301
00:13:48,808 --> 00:13:50,942
You guys are like
family to me.
302
00:13:50,944 --> 00:13:52,143
You know that, right?
303
00:13:52,145 --> 00:13:54,128
That's great.
Get out.
304
00:13:54,130 --> 00:13:55,663
What? Why?
305
00:13:55,665 --> 00:13:57,915
Penny and I have some issues
we need to talk about.
306
00:13:57,917 --> 00:13:58,883
Oh...
307
00:13:58,885 --> 00:14:01,135
pish on your issues!
308
00:14:02,004 --> 00:14:04,071
You guys are fine.
309
00:14:04,073 --> 00:14:06,123
Yes, you hit some bumps
along the way.
310
00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:07,391
I mean, Penny,
311
00:14:07,393 --> 00:14:10,328
you've always known how this man
has felt about you,
312
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:12,847
but you made him
grovel for affection.
313
00:14:12,849 --> 00:14:13,981
Okay, hold on...
314
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,183
Now, don't blame yourself.
315
00:14:15,185 --> 00:14:17,485
He was a groveler from way back.
316
00:14:18,904 --> 00:14:22,874
But the point is,
the two of you got past it.
317
00:14:22,876 --> 00:14:24,675
And, Leonard,
you go and propose
318
00:14:24,677 --> 00:14:26,861
to this poor girl
in the middle of sex?
319
00:14:26,863 --> 00:14:29,697
That was some weak tea, dude.
320
00:14:30,532 --> 00:14:32,416
Some people might
say it was romantic.
321
00:14:32,418 --> 00:14:34,151
Yeah, no.
322
00:14:34,153 --> 00:14:38,489
But yet, here you two are,
still together.
323
00:14:38,491 --> 00:14:41,659
And that's even after you and I
had our crazy naked night.
324
00:14:41,661 --> 00:14:42,910
Okay...
That's enough.
325
00:14:42,912 --> 00:14:44,445
I'm just saying
326
00:14:44,447 --> 00:14:46,163
that after everything
you've been through,
327
00:14:46,165 --> 00:14:48,299
you get to look
into each other's eyes
328
00:14:48,301 --> 00:14:50,968
and say "I love you."
329
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,987
And that's beautiful.
330
00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:59,026
Actually, to this day,
she's never really said it.
331
00:14:59,962 --> 00:15:02,496
Oh, Penny!
That's ridiculous!
332
00:15:03,532 --> 00:15:04,498
You know you love him!
333
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,033
You look him in the eyes
and you say it.
334
00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:07,034
Raj...
Oh, come on,
335
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:09,120
you know you want to say it.
Say it.
336
00:15:09,788 --> 00:15:12,056
Say you love him.
337
00:15:13,909 --> 00:15:16,360
Say it!
338
00:15:20,048 --> 00:15:22,600
I really thought
she would say it.
339
00:15:29,725 --> 00:15:34,528
Have I ever told you you're
like a sexy praying mantis?
340
00:15:35,380 --> 00:15:38,649
Every time you drink alcohol.
341
00:15:38,651 --> 00:15:41,719
You know what's wonderful
about the praying mantis?
342
00:15:42,521 --> 00:15:45,406
They devour their mate.
343
00:15:45,408 --> 00:15:47,208
Your point being?
344
00:15:54,333 --> 00:15:56,801
Dessert is served.
345
00:15:57,636 --> 00:16:00,338
I just had cobbler.
346
00:16:01,206 --> 00:16:02,840
You know what?
347
00:16:02,842 --> 00:16:04,625
I'm done with this.
348
00:16:06,178 --> 00:16:07,578
W-Where are
you going?
349
00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:09,180
I'm leaving.
350
00:16:09,182 --> 00:16:10,765
You can't leave.
351
00:16:10,767 --> 00:16:12,199
I need you.
352
00:16:14,052 --> 00:16:16,237
You do?
353
00:16:16,239 --> 00:16:17,955
Yes.
354
00:16:17,957 --> 00:16:20,191
You're my ride.
355
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,895
Sheldon, you either say
something meaningful
356
00:16:24,897 --> 00:16:28,416
and from the heart,
or you and I are done.
357
00:16:30,035 --> 00:16:31,485
All right.
358
00:16:32,604 --> 00:16:35,456
Please.
359
00:16:38,327 --> 00:16:40,911
Amy...
360
00:16:40,913 --> 00:16:43,414
when I look in your eyes
361
00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:45,616
and you're looking
back in mine,
362
00:16:45,618 --> 00:16:49,503
everything feels
not quite normal,
363
00:16:49,505 --> 00:16:52,039
because I feel
364
00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:55,893
stronger and weaker
at the same time.
365
00:16:55,895 --> 00:17:01,799
I feel excited and,
at the same time, terrified.
366
00:17:01,801 --> 00:17:04,134
The truth is,
367
00:17:04,136 --> 00:17:07,071
I don't know
what I feel, except...
368
00:17:07,073 --> 00:17:11,242
I know what kind of man
I want to be.
369
00:17:12,744 --> 00:17:14,578
Sheldon...
370
00:17:14,580 --> 00:17:16,414
that was beautiful.
371
00:17:16,416 --> 00:17:17,581
I should hope so.
372
00:17:17,583 --> 00:17:19,967
That's from the first
Spider-Man movie.
373
00:17:24,706 --> 00:17:27,558
I'll take it.
374
00:17:28,377 --> 00:17:29,794
Good.
375
00:17:29,796 --> 00:17:32,179
Now, I assume
we're splitting the check?
376
00:17:36,518 --> 00:17:37,668
Hey, Stuart.
377
00:17:37,670 --> 00:17:40,805
Oh, hey. I was actually
just about to close up.
378
00:17:40,807 --> 00:17:42,139
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave.
379
00:17:42,141 --> 00:17:43,724
No, no. It's
okay. Hang out.
380
00:17:43,726 --> 00:17:44,809
You sure?
381
00:17:44,811 --> 00:17:47,278
Yeah, you're
my first customer today.
382
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,430
All right. Great.
383
00:17:49,432 --> 00:17:50,848
I'm, uh, having a nightcap.
384
00:17:50,850 --> 00:17:52,349
You want to join me?
385
00:17:52,351 --> 00:17:53,517
What are you drinking?
386
00:17:53,519 --> 00:17:56,520
Coffee liqueur
in a Chewbacca mug.
387
00:17:56,522 --> 00:17:59,373
I call it a sad-tini.
388
00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:01,959
Perfect for the night
I'm having. Thank you.
389
00:18:01,961 --> 00:18:05,212
Hmm. Nice not
to drink alone.
390
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:06,864
Amen to that.
391
00:18:06,866 --> 00:18:08,549
Sometimes I pour
392
00:18:08,551 --> 00:18:11,385
a little chardonnay
into my dog's water bowl.
393
00:18:11,387 --> 00:18:13,554
You're kidding.
394
00:18:13,556 --> 00:18:16,640
She's kind of a mean drunk,
but what are you gonna do?
395
00:18:16,642 --> 00:18:17,925
Cheers.
396
00:18:17,927 --> 00:18:19,376
Cheers.
397
00:18:19,378 --> 00:18:21,145
A little music?
Sure.
398
00:18:21,147 --> 00:18:24,815
(soft Brazilian jazz playing)
399
00:18:24,817 --> 00:18:27,401
Mmm. Bossa nova.
400
00:18:27,403 --> 00:18:30,988
You listen to that with
your hips as well as your ears.
401
00:18:30,990 --> 00:18:32,389
Mmm.
402
00:18:33,775 --> 00:18:35,910
Oh.
403
00:18:35,912 --> 00:18:37,995
Something about...
404
00:18:37,997 --> 00:18:40,414
Latin music just
makes me feel like
405
00:18:40,416 --> 00:18:43,501
I'm on a white sand beach
in Rio.
406
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,370
Yeah.
407
00:18:46,372 --> 00:18:50,458
The sun, the waves,
the beautiful bodies,
408
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:54,094
tanned and glistening
with sweat.
409
00:18:54,096 --> 00:18:56,580
(Brazilian jazz continues)
410
00:19:09,227 --> 00:19:10,928
I should go.
Yeah.
411
00:19:11,763 --> 00:19:14,064
Uh, thank you
for the drink.
412
00:19:14,066 --> 00:19:16,567
No problem.
413
00:19:16,569 --> 00:19:17,451
(sighs)
414
00:19:17,453 --> 00:19:19,403
Hey, Stuart.
Yeah?
415
00:19:19,405 --> 00:19:22,623
Do you want to...
hang out tomorrow night,
416
00:19:22,625 --> 00:19:25,292
maybe grab a bite to eat
or catch a late movie?
417
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:29,112
Yeah, I-I'd like to,
but I'm a little tight on funds.
418
00:19:29,114 --> 00:19:30,631
No problem. My treat.
419
00:19:30,633 --> 00:19:32,216
I'll swing by after work.
420
00:19:32,218 --> 00:19:33,501
Okay.
421
00:19:33,503 --> 00:19:35,135
Okay.
422
00:19:38,957 --> 00:19:41,842
I could do worse.
423
00:19:46,630 --> 00:19:48,166
BERNADETTE: Aw, that's such
good news, Howie.
424
00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:49,566
Thank you for telling her.
425
00:19:49,568 --> 00:19:52,686
Hey, I'm a grown man;
I'm gonna live with my wife.
426
00:19:52,688 --> 00:19:57,107
My mother's just gonna have
to learn to make do on her own.
427
00:19:57,109 --> 00:19:58,892
Was she upset?
428
00:19:58,894 --> 00:20:02,262
Who can tell?
She yells everything.
429
00:20:03,815 --> 00:20:06,066
She might have been upset.
430
00:20:06,068 --> 00:20:08,702
She might have been hungry.
431
00:20:08,704 --> 00:20:11,155
Thanks for fixing it.
432
00:20:11,157 --> 00:20:12,656
I love you.
433
00:20:12,658 --> 00:20:13,907
I love you, too.
434
00:20:13,909 --> 00:20:15,909
Sweet dreams.
I'll talk to you tomorrow?
435
00:20:15,911 --> 00:20:18,779
Good night, Rocket Man.
436
00:20:18,781 --> 00:20:21,448
To infinity and beyond, baby.
437
00:20:21,450 --> 00:20:22,883
(clicks tongue)
438
00:20:24,018 --> 00:20:25,452
Loops.
439
00:20:25,454 --> 00:20:27,955
You realize you just
lied your ass off
440
00:20:27,957 --> 00:20:30,057
to your wife
and your mother.
441
00:20:30,059 --> 00:20:31,425
I know.
442
00:20:31,427 --> 00:20:33,544
What are you gonna do
when you get back to Earth?
443
00:20:33,546 --> 00:20:34,895
Oh, I'm never going back.
444
00:20:34,897 --> 00:20:38,897
== sync, corrected by elderman ==