1
00:00:02,121 --> 00:00:04,689
And the next wedding gift is...
2
00:00:04,690 --> 00:00:06,056
a gravy boat.
3
00:00:06,058 --> 00:00:08,023
Ooh, one gravy boat.
4
00:00:08,025 --> 00:00:09,157
That's from Sheldon.
5
00:00:09,159 --> 00:00:10,558
He told me he had it engraved.
6
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:12,493
"In the event of a divorce,
7
00:00:12,495 --> 00:00:15,061
please return
to Sheldon Cooper."
8
00:00:15,063 --> 00:00:19,230
One "inappropriate,
9
00:00:19,232 --> 00:00:22,266
yet I wish I thought
of that" gravy boat.
10
00:00:22,268 --> 00:00:23,766
When I get married
I'm going to register
11
00:00:23,768 --> 00:00:25,367
at the UCLA Cadaver Lab.
12
00:00:25,369 --> 00:00:27,436
Ew, why?
13
00:00:27,438 --> 00:00:29,271
'Cause I've always wanted
a whole human skeleton
14
00:00:29,273 --> 00:00:31,606
and they are really spendy.
15
00:00:33,041 --> 00:00:35,509
So, you actually see you and
Sheldon getting married someday?
16
00:00:35,511 --> 00:00:37,244
Not just someday.
17
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,545
In exactly four years.
18
00:00:38,547 --> 00:00:40,012
But don't tell Sheldon.
19
00:00:40,014 --> 00:00:41,247
He's still a flight risk.
20
00:00:42,448 --> 00:00:44,582
What about you, Penny?
21
00:00:44,584 --> 00:00:46,150
What about me what?
22
00:00:46,152 --> 00:00:48,785
Do you think you and Leonard
might ever get married?
23
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,488
Oh, well, you know,
24
00:00:52,490 --> 00:00:56,090
Leonard is great.
25
00:00:56,092 --> 00:00:58,059
But do you think
you'll ever get married?
26
00:00:58,061 --> 00:00:59,793
He's a sweetie.
27
00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:02,428
You're not answering
the question.
28
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:03,362
Do you love him?
29
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:06,031
Yeah, sure, of course
I love him.
30
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,199
It doesn't sound like it.
31
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:08,766
Well, I do.
32
00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:10,901
Do you tell him that?
33
00:01:10,903 --> 00:01:14,036
No, he'd just take it
the wrong way.
34
00:01:14,038 --> 00:01:15,304
What does that mean?
35
00:01:15,306 --> 00:01:19,339
It means he is special
and smart and nice and...
36
00:01:19,341 --> 00:01:20,307
Are you gonna break up with him?
37
00:01:20,309 --> 00:01:21,174
No!
38
00:01:21,176 --> 00:01:23,309
Maybe. I don't know.
39
00:01:23,311 --> 00:01:25,310
I had no idea you were unhappy.
40
00:01:25,312 --> 00:01:26,811
That's the thing: I'm not.
41
00:01:26,813 --> 00:01:28,912
I'm not unhappy at all.
It's just... I don't know...
44
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,787
Do you ever feel that way
about Howard?
45
00:01:39,789 --> 00:01:41,889
Oh, that's not really
a fair comparison.
46
00:01:41,891 --> 00:01:45,025
I'm basically married
to a sexy Buzz Lightyear.
47
00:01:46,327 --> 00:01:47,794
Amy, you?
48
00:01:47,796 --> 00:01:49,296
Can't help ya, kid.
49
00:01:49,298 --> 00:01:52,298
Whenever I'm around Sheldon, I
feel like my loins are on fire.
50
00:01:53,333 --> 00:01:54,467
In the good way.
51
00:01:54,469 --> 00:01:56,935
Not the urinary tract
infection way.
52
00:01:58,705 --> 00:02:02,407
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
53
00:02:02,409 --> 00:02:06,043
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
54
00:02:06,045 --> 00:02:07,611
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
55
00:02:07,613 --> 00:02:10,079
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
56
00:02:10,081 --> 00:02:12,314
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
57
00:02:12,316 --> 00:02:15,150
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
58
00:02:15,152 --> 00:02:17,185
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
59
00:02:17,187 --> 00:02:18,986
♪ Bang! ♪
60
00:02:19,011 --> 00:02:23,011
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x02 ♪
The Decoupling Fluctuation
Original Air Date on October 4, 2012
61
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:27,012
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
62
00:02:28,013 --> 00:02:31,341
KOOTHRAPPALI: Hey, buddy, how's
it going up there?
63
00:02:31,342 --> 00:02:32,942
You don't have to shout, Raj.
64
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,679
It's not like I'm an astronaut
floating around in outer space.
65
00:02:36,681 --> 00:02:39,516
Oh, wait, I am.
66
00:02:42,619 --> 00:02:45,388
So, is it everything
you hoped it would be?
67
00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:46,689
WOLOWITZ:
It's better.
68
00:02:46,691 --> 00:02:50,694
I wake up every morning
and I just can't believe
69
00:02:50,696 --> 00:02:53,096
I'm on this
incredible adventure.
70
00:02:53,098 --> 00:02:54,164
DIMITRI:
Hey, Froot Loops,
71
00:02:54,166 --> 00:02:56,967
did you clean the space toilet?
72
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:01,571
Excuse me.
I'm talking to my friends.
73
00:03:01,573 --> 00:03:04,975
You know the rules:
new guy scrubs the toilet.
74
00:03:06,377 --> 00:03:10,213
If you do good job,
next time we give you brush.
75
00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:14,017
(mock laughing)
76
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:15,452
Funny.
77
00:03:15,454 --> 00:03:16,486
We're always
78
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,788
giving each other
a hard time up here.
79
00:03:18,790 --> 00:03:20,456
It's kind of like
being in a frat.
80
00:03:20,458 --> 00:03:25,194
You know, joking, kidding
around, hurting feelings.
81
00:03:25,196 --> 00:03:26,262
Okay, my turn.
82
00:03:26,264 --> 00:03:27,896
Let me talk to him.
Go ahead.
83
00:03:27,898 --> 00:03:29,798
2311 North Los Robles Avenue,
84
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:33,235
Pasadena, California
to International Space Station.
85
00:03:33,237 --> 00:03:34,904
Can you read me? Over.
(imitates walkie-talkie static)
86
00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:39,208
Yes, I read you, Sheldon.
87
00:03:39,210 --> 00:03:40,576
Copy that. Over.
(imitates walkie-talkie static)
88
00:03:40,578 --> 00:03:42,612
What are you doing?
89
00:03:42,614 --> 00:03:44,780
I am talking to a man in space.
90
00:03:44,782 --> 00:03:46,282
If you don't have the
(walkie-talkie static)
91
00:03:46,284 --> 00:03:48,684
then he might as well be at the
Coffee Bean over on Lake Street.
92
00:03:49,953 --> 00:03:52,120
You're out of your mind,
Sheldon.
93
00:03:52,122 --> 00:03:54,790
That's a negative.
My mother had me tested. Over.
94
00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:56,458
(imitates walkie-talkie static)
95
00:03:56,460 --> 00:03:57,926
Come on, scrub it up, Loops.
96
00:03:57,928 --> 00:04:00,695
All right, all right.
97
00:04:00,697 --> 00:04:01,996
I gotta go.
98
00:04:01,998 --> 00:04:04,565
There's a meteor shower.
99
00:04:04,567 --> 00:04:06,267
You want to see a meteor shower?
100
00:04:06,269 --> 00:04:09,303
Take a look at what Dimitri
just left you in the toilet.
101
00:04:13,642 --> 00:04:15,410
Bye.
102
00:04:15,412 --> 00:04:17,745
Over and out.
(imitates walkie-talkie static)
103
00:04:17,747 --> 00:04:19,480
Bye, buddy!
104
00:04:19,482 --> 00:04:20,715
(knocking)
105
00:04:20,717 --> 00:04:21,783
Hello.
106
00:04:21,785 --> 00:04:23,151
Hey, Stuart, come on in.
107
00:04:23,153 --> 00:04:24,352
What are you doing here?
108
00:04:24,354 --> 00:04:27,722
Um, Raj invited me to go
to the movies with you guys.
109
00:04:27,724 --> 00:04:29,925
Excuse me.
110
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,962
I didn't authorize this.
111
00:04:34,164 --> 00:04:36,099
Sheldon, you are not in charge.
112
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:37,701
That's mighty sassy for a man
113
00:04:37,703 --> 00:04:39,970
with a roommate performance
review around the corner.
114
00:04:41,306 --> 00:04:42,539
What's the big deal?
115
00:04:42,541 --> 00:04:44,141
You guys are bringing
your girlfriends.
116
00:04:44,143 --> 00:04:45,375
I didn't want to sit by myself.
117
00:04:45,377 --> 00:04:47,845
The big deal is
I was expecting us
118
00:04:47,847 --> 00:04:49,747
to be an intimate group of five.
119
00:04:49,749 --> 00:04:50,914
Now, we're going to be a...
120
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,117
faceless mass of six.
121
00:04:54,686 --> 00:04:57,087
It'll be fine.
Just, uh, pretend he's Wolowitz.
122
00:04:57,789 --> 00:04:59,023
Hmm.
123
00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:03,795
Do you like Raisinets?
124
00:05:03,797 --> 00:05:05,263
I can take them or leave them.
125
00:05:05,265 --> 00:05:07,498
At the movies, Wolowitz
always eats Raisinets.
126
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:10,235
Would you feel more comfortable
if I ate Raisinets?
127
00:05:10,237 --> 00:05:13,472
Well, it's hardly my business
what you eat,
128
00:05:13,474 --> 00:05:14,974
as long as it doesn't crunch
during the film
129
00:05:14,976 --> 00:05:16,342
and it's Raisinets.
130
00:05:17,978 --> 00:05:19,245
Okay.
131
00:05:19,247 --> 00:05:20,212
Should we go?
132
00:05:20,214 --> 00:05:21,547
Yeah, but, one more question.
133
00:05:21,549 --> 00:05:22,582
If you're going
to replace Wolowitz,
134
00:05:22,584 --> 00:05:23,616
I need to know
a little more about you.
135
00:05:23,618 --> 00:05:24,617
All right.
136
00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:26,519
Wolowitz went to MIT.
137
00:05:26,521 --> 00:05:28,187
What's your educational
background?
138
00:05:28,189 --> 00:05:29,855
I went to art school.
139
00:05:29,857 --> 00:05:31,290
Equally ridiculous. Let's go.
140
00:05:53,482 --> 00:05:57,619
This insistence on hand-holding
is preposterous.
141
00:05:57,621 --> 00:05:58,754
Well, I like it.
142
00:05:58,756 --> 00:05:59,755
Yeah, of course you do.
143
00:05:59,757 --> 00:06:01,424
You're a girl.
144
00:06:01,426 --> 00:06:04,594
You like all kinds
of hippy-dippy things.
145
00:06:04,596 --> 00:06:07,264
Just watch the movie.
146
00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:10,767
It's not fair.
147
00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:13,637
Penny isn't making Leonard
hold hands.
148
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:16,873
There might
be a reason for that.
149
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:20,177
Sweaty?
150
00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:21,545
Unhygienic?
151
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:22,880
Looks dumb?
152
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,381
Take your pick.
153
00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:26,817
Penny said she's not sure
154
00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:28,718
she wants to be Leonard's
girlfriend anymore.
155
00:06:31,722 --> 00:06:36,491
Wrong. She just took a sip
from his Diet Dr. Pepper.
156
00:06:36,493 --> 00:06:37,693
So?
157
00:06:37,695 --> 00:06:40,896
So, if she wants to end
her pair-bond with Leonard,
158
00:06:40,898 --> 00:06:42,831
why on earth would she guzzle
a witches' brew
159
00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:45,234
of his soda and spit?
160
00:06:45,236 --> 00:06:48,070
It's complicated.
161
00:06:48,072 --> 00:06:51,506
String theory is complicated.
162
00:06:51,508 --> 00:06:53,275
That's just yucky.
163
00:06:56,213 --> 00:06:58,481
Don't get any ideas.
164
00:07:02,119 --> 00:07:04,754
All right, for the sake of
argument, let's say that's true.
165
00:07:04,756 --> 00:07:06,889
Why doesn't Penny
just end the relationship?
166
00:07:06,891 --> 00:07:08,692
She's not sure how she feels.
167
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:12,062
How can she not be sure
how she feels?
168
00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:15,332
You know, when I have
a feeling, I know it.
169
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:18,368
Trains? Love them.
170
00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:20,571
Swordfish?
I love them, too.
171
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:24,241
They're fish with a sword
for a nose.
172
00:07:26,945 --> 00:07:29,280
Regardless, don't say anything
to Leonard.
173
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,316
Now you're asking me
to keep a secret
174
00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:34,518
from my best friend,
colleague, and roommate?
175
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,587
Yes, please, Penny will kill me.
176
00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:39,556
(sighs)
Fine.
177
00:07:39,558 --> 00:07:41,158
FYI: secret-keeping?
178
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,661
Hate it.
179
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:47,064
Hand-holding?
Not a fan.
180
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:50,334
Hammerhead shark?
I love that thing.
181
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:53,471
Yeah, it's another fish
with a tool on its head.
182
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,873
Raisinet?
183
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:58,676
Shh, we're trying
to watch the movie.
184
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:04,983
This is not working out
with him.
185
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,987
(slurping)
186
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:12,791
(clicking tongue)
187
00:08:18,397 --> 00:08:19,698
What are you doing?
188
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,500
I think I might
have tartar buildup.
189
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:28,373
My tongue won't go as far
forward as it used to.
190
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,409
Maybe your tongue is shrinking.
191
00:08:38,016 --> 00:08:39,249
Nope.
192
00:08:44,522 --> 00:08:46,957
Oh, you have no idea
how annoying this is.
193
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:50,861
I'm starting
to get a sense of it.
194
00:08:52,097 --> 00:08:54,999
Don't worry. I'll take you
to the dentist tomorrow.
195
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,867
Thank you.
196
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:59,002
I appreciate that.
197
00:08:59,004 --> 00:09:00,704
You're good people, Leonard.
198
00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:10,780
There's something
I need to tell you.
199
00:09:10,782 --> 00:09:12,248
Okay.
200
00:09:14,317 --> 00:09:16,118
I can't tell you.
201
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,388
Why?
202
00:09:18,390 --> 00:09:21,858
I can't tell you
why I can't tell you.
203
00:09:22,893 --> 00:09:26,496
So I guess there's two things
I can't tell you.
204
00:09:26,498 --> 00:09:28,899
I wish there were more.
205
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:32,668
Good night.
206
00:09:33,237 --> 00:09:35,671
(sighs)
207
00:09:38,141 --> 00:09:39,175
I'm sorry.
208
00:09:39,177 --> 00:09:40,643
This is really important.
209
00:09:40,645 --> 00:09:42,211
What is it?
210
00:09:42,213 --> 00:09:43,813
(sighs)
211
00:09:43,815 --> 00:09:46,782
I like The Transformers.
212
00:09:48,251 --> 00:09:51,587
Do you like The Transformers?
213
00:09:51,589 --> 00:09:55,291
Where exactly did your mother
have you tested?
214
00:09:55,293 --> 00:09:57,726
Leonard,
215
00:09:57,728 --> 00:09:59,561
The Transformers teach us
216
00:09:59,563 --> 00:10:02,965
that things are not always
what they appear to be.
217
00:10:02,967 --> 00:10:04,433
You know, like, uh,
218
00:10:04,435 --> 00:10:08,269
a semi truck might
be an alien robot,
219
00:10:08,271 --> 00:10:13,142
or, uh, someone in a romantic
relationship, uh, might feel
220
00:10:13,144 --> 00:10:14,910
differently than they appear to.
221
00:10:14,912 --> 00:10:17,546
Or a conversation
222
00:10:17,548 --> 00:10:20,316
about The Transformers
might actually be
223
00:10:20,318 --> 00:10:22,719
about someone in this room.
224
00:10:28,326 --> 00:10:31,595
I'm going to pause
to let that sink in.
225
00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:34,465
Okay, I think I understand.
226
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,700
You do?
227
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:40,505
The guy who seems like
an emotionless robot is you...
228
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:46,944
but your relationship with Amy
is causing you to transform
229
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:51,315
into a red-blooded man
with sexual desires.
230
00:10:54,419 --> 00:10:58,589
That is literally the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.
231
00:11:07,465 --> 00:11:09,698
(sighs)
232
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:10,999
Leonard?
233
00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:12,334
Leonard.
234
00:11:12,336 --> 00:11:14,102
Leonard?
235
00:11:14,104 --> 00:11:15,569
LEONARD:
What?
236
00:11:15,571 --> 00:11:17,705
Are you sleeping?
237
00:11:17,707 --> 00:11:19,840
I was. Now I'm having
a nightmare.
238
00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:23,610
What do you want?
239
00:11:26,079 --> 00:11:28,615
Never mind.
I still can't tell you.
240
00:11:31,085 --> 00:11:32,518
SHELDON (knocking):
Penny?
241
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,787
Mmm.
242
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,193
Penny.
243
00:11:41,195 --> 00:11:44,296
Mm-hmm, mmm.
244
00:11:44,298 --> 00:11:45,664
Penny.
(screams)
245
00:11:45,666 --> 00:11:46,865
(screams)
246
00:11:49,569 --> 00:11:50,736
Oh, my God.
247
00:11:50,738 --> 00:11:51,570
Sheldon?
248
00:11:51,572 --> 00:11:53,972
You frightened me.
249
00:11:57,343 --> 00:11:59,645
What are you doing
in my bedroom?
250
00:11:59,647 --> 00:12:01,146
Yeah, well, I knocked
on the front door,
251
00:12:01,148 --> 00:12:02,113
but you didn't hear it.
252
00:12:02,115 --> 00:12:04,149
How did you even get in,
you weirdo?
253
00:12:04,151 --> 00:12:05,784
Yeah, really?
254
00:12:05,786 --> 00:12:08,219
I've seen strange men traipsing
in and out of here for years,
255
00:12:08,221 --> 00:12:10,388
but when I do it, it's weird?
256
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:12,823
What do you want, Sheldon?
257
00:12:12,825 --> 00:12:15,426
Oh, I was having a
little trouble sleeping
258
00:12:15,428 --> 00:12:16,560
and I just thought,
259
00:12:16,562 --> 00:12:19,764
uh, seeing as you're up,
we could talk.
260
00:12:20,966 --> 00:12:22,033
Talk about what?
261
00:12:22,035 --> 00:12:23,267
Oh, I don't know.
262
00:12:23,269 --> 00:12:27,371
Uh, weather, uh, fish
you could do carpentry with.
263
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,108
Why Leonard is such
an attractive
264
00:12:30,110 --> 00:12:31,643
and desirable boyfriend.
265
00:12:31,645 --> 00:12:33,779
Yeah, pick one-- your choice.
266
00:12:33,781 --> 00:12:35,414
Sheldon.
267
00:12:35,416 --> 00:12:37,917
Did you know that Leonard
has a perfect driving record
268
00:12:37,919 --> 00:12:40,419
and enjoys
the insurance discounts
269
00:12:40,421 --> 00:12:41,520
that go along with that?
270
00:12:41,522 --> 00:12:43,989
Hubba-hubba.
271
00:12:43,991 --> 00:12:47,192
Okay, go home, crazy man.
272
00:12:47,194 --> 00:12:49,428
Yeah. Did you know that
273
00:12:49,430 --> 00:12:52,264
while Leonard is not considered
a tall fellow in our country,
274
00:12:52,266 --> 00:12:55,134
in today's North Korea,
he's downright average.
275
00:12:56,336 --> 00:12:58,470
Talk about a keeper.
276
00:13:00,006 --> 00:13:01,373
Okay, what did Amy tell you?
277
00:13:01,375 --> 00:13:02,908
Oh, very well.
278
00:13:02,910 --> 00:13:04,977
I can't keep up
this clever charade any longer.
279
00:13:04,979 --> 00:13:07,579
She told me
280
00:13:07,581 --> 00:13:09,614
that you were thinking
of ending it with Leonard.
281
00:13:09,616 --> 00:13:12,383
Okay, you listen to me.
282
00:13:12,385 --> 00:13:14,953
I think it's really sweet you're
trying to protect your friend,
283
00:13:14,955 --> 00:13:16,487
but this is none
of your business. Got it?
284
00:13:16,489 --> 00:13:20,524
Excuse me. This is not
about protecting my friend.
285
00:13:21,393 --> 00:13:23,561
(sighs)
286
00:13:25,163 --> 00:13:28,333
I'm a big fan of homeostasis.
287
00:13:28,335 --> 00:13:29,434
Do you know what that is?
288
00:13:29,436 --> 00:13:31,970
Of course not.
Yeah.
289
00:13:31,972 --> 00:13:36,008
Homeostasis refers
to a system's ability
290
00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:37,876
to regulate
its internal environment
291
00:13:37,878 --> 00:13:40,746
and maintain a constant
condition of properties
292
00:13:40,748 --> 00:13:42,948
like temperature or pH.
293
00:13:42,950 --> 00:13:46,385
Worst bedtime story ever.
294
00:13:46,387 --> 00:13:49,989
My point is
295
00:13:49,991 --> 00:13:51,824
I don't like when things change.
296
00:13:51,826 --> 00:13:53,792
So, regardless of your feelings,
297
00:13:53,794 --> 00:13:56,161
I would like you
to continue dating Leonard.
298
00:13:57,197 --> 00:13:58,664
And also,
299
00:13:58,666 --> 00:14:01,534
while we're on the subject, you
recently changed your shampoo.
300
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:04,003
I'm not comfortable
with the new scent.
301
00:14:05,238 --> 00:14:07,539
Please stop this madness
and go back to green apple.
302
00:14:09,543 --> 00:14:11,777
Okay, honey, I have
a lot to figure out,
303
00:14:11,779 --> 00:14:15,281
and until I do, you are not
to say a word to Leonard.
304
00:14:15,283 --> 00:14:16,516
Do you understand?
305
00:14:16,518 --> 00:14:17,885
I do.
306
00:14:17,887 --> 00:14:19,619
You clear
on the shampoo issue?
307
00:14:19,621 --> 00:14:21,054
Get out.
308
00:14:23,424 --> 00:14:25,792
(sighs)
309
00:14:25,794 --> 00:14:26,826
Penny?
310
00:14:26,828 --> 00:14:27,927
What?
311
00:14:27,929 --> 00:14:30,897
Please don't hurt my friend.
312
00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:34,267
That is the last thing
I want to do.
313
00:14:34,269 --> 00:14:35,235
Thank you.
314
00:14:36,637 --> 00:14:38,104
(sniffing)
315
00:14:38,106 --> 00:14:39,372
Coconut? What were you thinking?
316
00:14:39,374 --> 00:14:40,407
Are you a hula girl?
317
00:14:40,409 --> 00:14:42,643
Get out!
318
00:14:43,811 --> 00:14:46,246
(phone rings)
319
00:14:49,618 --> 00:14:52,053
Hello?
320
00:14:52,055 --> 00:14:54,023
What the hell is wrong with you?
You told Sheldon?
321
00:14:54,025 --> 00:14:55,892
Do you know what a terrible
position this puts me in?
322
00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:57,293
(call waiting beeps)
323
00:14:57,295 --> 00:14:58,495
Hang on, please.
324
00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:01,464
Hello?
325
00:15:01,466 --> 00:15:03,166
Yeah, just a heads-up:
326
00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:05,268
Penny knows that you blabbed
about Leonard.
327
00:15:05,270 --> 00:15:06,971
She's pretty mad.
328
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:09,040
I know.
329
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,976
She's yelling at me right now.
330
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:15,081
All right then,
so we're all on the same page.
331
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:17,951
Yeah.
332
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,088
Hey, Bernie.
333
00:15:21,090 --> 00:15:22,289
There's my hubby.
334
00:15:22,291 --> 00:15:23,758
How's everything going up there?
335
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,559
Oh, it's okay.
336
00:15:25,561 --> 00:15:27,895
Space is beautiful.
337
00:15:27,897 --> 00:15:31,765
Earth is beautiful.
Same old, same old.
338
00:15:31,767 --> 00:15:33,299
What's wrong?
339
00:15:33,301 --> 00:15:34,334
Nothing.
340
00:15:34,336 --> 00:15:35,868
Everything's fine.
341
00:15:35,870 --> 00:15:37,036
Howard.
342
00:15:39,707 --> 00:15:42,909
The other astronauts
are being mean to me.
343
00:15:45,546 --> 00:15:47,047
No, what are they doing?
344
00:15:47,049 --> 00:15:50,117
Well, like for instance, the
other day when I was asleep,
345
00:15:50,119 --> 00:15:53,720
one of the guys went
on a space walk and glued
346
00:15:53,722 --> 00:15:58,692
a big-eyed rubber alien mask
to the outside of my window.
347
00:16:00,128 --> 00:16:03,063
When I woke up, I screamed
for like nine minutes.
348
00:16:03,065 --> 00:16:05,165
Oh, Howie.
349
00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:07,534
You can see it if you want.
It's on YouTube.
350
00:16:07,536 --> 00:16:11,705
Google "astronaut screams
for nine minutes."
351
00:16:11,707 --> 00:16:14,008
Why don't you stand up to them?
352
00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:16,344
What am I supposed to say?
353
00:16:16,346 --> 00:16:18,513
I don't know.
354
00:16:18,515 --> 00:16:21,116
Say, "Being mean is lame.
355
00:16:21,118 --> 00:16:24,686
What's cool is being nice."
356
00:16:29,959 --> 00:16:32,895
Great, I'll do that when
I want to be the first guy
357
00:16:32,897 --> 00:16:35,864
in space to get a wedgie.
358
00:16:35,866 --> 00:16:38,600
Do you want me
to call somebody at NASA?
359
00:16:38,602 --> 00:16:40,302
No.
360
00:16:40,304 --> 00:16:41,770
My mom already tried that.
361
00:16:41,772 --> 00:16:44,573
It only made things worse.
362
00:16:45,741 --> 00:16:48,209
Gelatinous Sphere.
363
00:16:48,211 --> 00:16:50,911
Focused Locust.
364
00:16:50,913 --> 00:16:54,181
Temple of Yip.
365
00:16:54,183 --> 00:16:57,084
I'm sorry. Wolowitz
would never play that card.
366
00:16:57,919 --> 00:17:01,988
All right,
Lesser Demon Turtle.
367
00:17:01,990 --> 00:17:04,891
Fairy God Monster, I win.
368
00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:08,395
Your desperate need
for friendship makes you weak.
369
00:17:10,698 --> 00:17:12,032
So, what are you
guys doing later?
370
00:17:12,034 --> 00:17:14,501
Stuart and I were thinking
of going out for a drink.
371
00:17:14,503 --> 00:17:15,903
We're gonna try
to meet some girls.
372
00:17:15,905 --> 00:17:17,738
'Cause that's what we do.
373
00:17:19,474 --> 00:17:20,608
Watch out, ladies:
374
00:17:20,610 --> 00:17:25,079
a little coffee and cream
coming your way.
375
00:17:26,048 --> 00:17:29,717
In case you didn't follow that,
I'm the coffee.
376
00:17:30,319 --> 00:17:31,486
SHELDON:
Leonard?
377
00:17:31,488 --> 00:17:34,255
Maybe you'd like to go
with them to meet girls.
378
00:17:34,257 --> 00:17:36,525
Why would I be interested?
I have Penny.
379
00:17:36,527 --> 00:17:39,328
Yeah, for now.
380
00:17:40,263 --> 00:17:42,564
But that woman has
a death wish, Leonard.
381
00:17:42,566 --> 00:17:46,335
She talks to strangers;
she pets unfamiliar dogs;
382
00:17:46,337 --> 00:17:47,736
and it is ridiculously easy
383
00:17:47,738 --> 00:17:51,306
to break
into her apartment.
384
00:17:51,308 --> 00:17:53,108
If I were you,
385
00:17:53,110 --> 00:17:54,309
I'd get a back-up.
386
00:17:54,311 --> 00:17:56,845
You can't just replace
someone you care about
387
00:17:56,847 --> 00:17:58,747
with some other random person.
388
00:17:58,749 --> 00:18:02,250
No, please don't ruin this
for me.
389
00:18:03,586 --> 00:18:06,188
Do you remember
how upset I was
390
00:18:06,190 --> 00:18:08,890
when they replaced Edward Norton
as the Hulk?
391
00:18:08,892 --> 00:18:11,760
Yes, you walked around
for a week saying,
392
00:18:11,762 --> 00:18:14,763
"Sheldon unhappy
with casting choice."
393
00:18:15,998 --> 00:18:19,968
But, then Mark Ruffalo
was the Hulk in The Avengers,
394
00:18:19,970 --> 00:18:21,669
and he was even better.
395
00:18:21,671 --> 00:18:22,670
What's your point?
396
00:18:22,672 --> 00:18:24,139
Call me a romantic.
397
00:18:24,141 --> 00:18:25,874
I like to think
398
00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:29,711
that your Mark Ruffalo
is still out there somewhere.
399
00:18:31,180 --> 00:18:33,248
This is ridiculous.
Are we gonna play cards or not?
400
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:35,517
I like Mark Ruffalo, too.
401
00:18:35,519 --> 00:18:39,053
Yeah, settle down there,
Fake Wolowitz.
402
00:18:39,055 --> 00:18:42,157
No one likes a kiss-up.
403
00:18:44,627 --> 00:18:47,796
So, I had to take Sheldon
to the dentist this morning.
404
00:18:47,798 --> 00:18:49,697
Really?
Yup.
405
00:18:49,699 --> 00:18:51,433
I told him if he didn't
bite the hygienist,
406
00:18:51,435 --> 00:18:53,968
I'd take him for ice cream.
407
00:18:53,970 --> 00:18:55,236
Mmm.
408
00:18:55,238 --> 00:18:58,574
I didn't have to take him
for ice cream.
409
00:18:58,576 --> 00:19:00,209
Uh-huh.
410
00:19:00,211 --> 00:19:01,377
You okay?
411
00:19:01,379 --> 00:19:02,578
You seem a little distracted.
412
00:19:04,981 --> 00:19:09,084
Look, there's something
I need to tell you.
413
00:19:09,086 --> 00:19:10,351
Oh.
414
00:19:10,353 --> 00:19:11,419
Yeah, okay.
415
00:19:11,421 --> 00:19:13,255
I don't really know
how to say this.
416
00:19:13,257 --> 00:19:14,356
Just say it.
417
00:19:14,358 --> 00:19:17,058
Okay. Here goes.
418
00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:18,826
Mm-hmm.
419
00:19:25,134 --> 00:19:27,735
You slept with him?
420
00:19:27,737 --> 00:19:29,404
I didn't know what else to do.
421
00:19:29,406 --> 00:19:31,773
He had those big, sad eyes.
422
00:19:31,775 --> 00:19:35,610
Oh, sure, you had no choice.
423
00:19:38,146 --> 00:19:39,947
He looked at me like this.
424
00:19:43,552 --> 00:19:44,752
Well, if that's all it takes,
425
00:19:44,754 --> 00:19:46,220
it's a good thing
you don't have a dog.
426
00:19:49,358 --> 00:19:51,726
Don't worry.
427
00:19:51,728 --> 00:19:53,728
You'll have plenty of chances
to break up with him:
428
00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:55,397
Your wedding day,
your honeymoon,
429
00:19:55,399 --> 00:19:57,900
your 50th anniversary.
430
00:19:57,902 --> 00:19:58,968
Look, it's fine.
431
00:19:58,970 --> 00:20:00,669
We're not getting married, okay?
432
00:20:00,671 --> 00:20:04,907
We're keeping things,
you know, homeostasis.
433
00:20:06,576 --> 00:20:10,112
It's so cute
when she tries.
434
00:20:12,182 --> 00:20:13,849
(phone beeps)
435
00:20:13,851 --> 00:20:15,885
It's from Leonard.
436
00:20:15,887 --> 00:20:17,520
"Last night was amazing.
437
00:20:17,522 --> 00:20:18,654
"You're amazing.
438
00:20:18,656 --> 00:20:21,457
I'm so lucky to have you
in my life."
439
00:20:24,328 --> 00:20:25,495
Please, stop it.
440
00:20:33,218 --> 00:20:35,053
WOLOWITZ:
Hey, Bernie, guess what?
441
00:20:35,055 --> 00:20:37,322
I stood up to the other
astronauts like you said
442
00:20:37,324 --> 00:20:40,058
and I got to tell you,
last night was the first time
443
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:42,160
in a week I got
a good night's sleep.
444
00:20:42,162 --> 00:20:43,628
(laughing)
445
00:20:48,868 --> 00:20:52,203
Oh, Howie.
446
00:20:52,205 --> 00:20:54,506
What's wrong?
You look upset.
447
00:20:54,508 --> 00:20:57,075
Nope, this is my proud face.
448
00:20:57,077 --> 00:21:01,077
== sync, corrected by elderman ==