1
00:00:02,962 --> 00:00:05,530
And the next wedding gift is...
2
00:00:05,531 --> 00:00:06,897
a gravy boat.
3
00:00:06,899 --> 00:00:08,864
Ooh, one gravy boat.
4
00:00:08,866 --> 00:00:09,998
That's from Sheldon.
5
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,399
He told me he had it engraved.
6
00:00:11,401 --> 00:00:13,334
"In the event of a divorce,
7
00:00:13,336 --> 00:00:15,902
please return
to Sheldon Cooper."
8
00:00:15,904 --> 00:00:20,071
One "inappropriate,
9
00:00:20,073 --> 00:00:23,107
yet I wish I thought
of that" gravy boat.
10
00:00:23,109 --> 00:00:24,607
When I get married
I'm going to register
11
00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:26,208
at the UCLA Cadaver Lab.
12
00:00:26,210 --> 00:00:28,277
Ew, why?
13
00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,112
'Cause I've always wanted
a whole human skeleton
14
00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:32,447
and they are really spendy.
15
00:00:33,882 --> 00:00:36,350
So, you actually see you and
Sheldon getting married someday?
16
00:00:36,352 --> 00:00:38,085
Not just someday.
17
00:00:38,087 --> 00:00:39,386
In exactly four years.
18
00:00:39,388 --> 00:00:40,853
But don't tell Sheldon.
19
00:00:40,855 --> 00:00:42,088
He's still a flight risk.
20
00:00:43,289 --> 00:00:45,423
What about you, Penny?
21
00:00:45,425 --> 00:00:46,991
What about me what?
22
00:00:46,993 --> 00:00:49,626
Do you think you and Leonard
might ever get married?
23
00:00:50,761 --> 00:00:53,329
Oh, well, you know,
24
00:00:53,331 --> 00:00:56,931
Leonard is great.
25
00:00:56,933 --> 00:00:58,900
But do you think
you'll ever get married?
26
00:00:58,902 --> 00:01:00,634
He's a sweetie.
27
00:01:01,636 --> 00:01:03,269
You're not answering
the question.
28
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:04,203
Do you love him?
29
00:01:04,205 --> 00:01:06,872
Yeah, sure, of course
I love him.
30
00:01:06,874 --> 00:01:08,040
It doesn't sound like it.
31
00:01:08,042 --> 00:01:09,607
Well, I do.
32
00:01:10,642 --> 00:01:11,742
Do you tell him that?
33
00:01:11,744 --> 00:01:14,877
No, he'd just take it
the wrong way.
34
00:01:14,879 --> 00:01:16,145
What does that mean?
35
00:01:16,147 --> 00:01:20,180
It means he is special
and smart and nice and...
36
00:01:20,182 --> 00:01:21,148
Are you gonna break up with him?
37
00:01:21,150 --> 00:01:22,015
No!
38
00:01:22,017 --> 00:01:24,150
Maybe. I don't know.
39
00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:26,151
I had no idea you were unhappy.
40
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,652
That's the thing: I'm not.
41
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,753
I'm not unhappy at all.
It's just... I don't know...
44
00:01:38,961 --> 00:01:40,628
Do you ever feel that way
about Howard?
45
00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:42,730
Oh, that's not really
a fair comparison.
46
00:01:42,732 --> 00:01:45,866
I'm basically married
to a sexy Buzz Lightyear.
47
00:01:47,168 --> 00:01:48,635
Amy, you?
48
00:01:48,637 --> 00:01:50,137
Can't help ya, kid.
49
00:01:50,139 --> 00:01:53,139
Whenever I'm around Sheldon, I
feel like my loins are on fire.
50
00:01:54,174 --> 00:01:55,308
In the good way.
51
00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:57,776
Not the urinary tract
infection way.
52
00:01:59,546 --> 00:02:03,248
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
53
00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:06,884
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
54
00:02:06,886 --> 00:02:08,452
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
55
00:02:08,454 --> 00:02:10,920
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
56
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:13,155
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
57
00:02:13,157 --> 00:02:15,991
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
58
00:02:15,993 --> 00:02:18,026
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
59
00:02:18,028 --> 00:02:19,028
♪ Bang! ♪
60
00:02:19,029 --> 00:02:22,329
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x02 ♪
The Decoupling Fluctuation
Original Air Date on October 4, 2012
61
00:02:22,330 --> 00:02:25,530
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
62
00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:28,906
Hey, buddy, how's
it going up there?
63
00:02:28,907 --> 00:02:30,507
You don't have to shout, Raj.
64
00:02:30,509 --> 00:02:34,244
It's not like I'm an astronaut
floating around in outer space.
65
00:02:34,246 --> 00:02:37,081
Oh, wait, I am.
66
00:02:40,184 --> 00:02:42,953
So, is it everything
you hoped it would be?
67
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,254
It's better.
68
00:02:44,256 --> 00:02:48,259
I wake up every morning
and I just can't believe
69
00:02:48,261 --> 00:02:50,661
I'm on this
incredible adventure.
70
00:02:50,663 --> 00:02:51,729
Hey, Froot Loops,
71
00:02:51,731 --> 00:02:54,532
did you clean the space toilet?
72
00:02:55,701 --> 00:02:59,136
Excuse me.
I'm talking to my friends.
73
00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:02,540
You know the rules:
new guy scrubs the toilet.
74
00:03:03,942 --> 00:03:07,778
If you do good job,
next time we give you brush.
75
00:03:11,584 --> 00:03:13,017
Funny.
76
00:03:13,019 --> 00:03:14,051
We're always
77
00:03:14,053 --> 00:03:16,353
giving each other
a hard time up here.
78
00:03:16,355 --> 00:03:18,021
It's kind of like
being in a frat.
79
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:22,759
You know, joking, kidding
around, hurting feelings.
80
00:03:22,761 --> 00:03:23,827
Okay, my turn.
81
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,461
Let me talk to him.
Go ahead.
82
00:03:25,463 --> 00:03:27,363
2311 North Los Robles Avenue,
83
00:03:27,365 --> 00:03:30,800
Pasadena, California
to International Space Station.
84
00:03:30,802 --> 00:03:32,469
Can you read me? Over.
85
00:03:34,105 --> 00:03:36,773
Yes, I read you, Sheldon.
86
00:03:36,775 --> 00:03:38,141
Copy that. Over.
87
00:03:38,143 --> 00:03:40,177
What are you doing?
88
00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:42,345
I am talking to a man in space.
89
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,847
If you don't have the
90
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:46,249
then he might as well be at the
Coffee Bean over on Lake Street.
91
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,685
You're out of your mind,
Sheldon.
92
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:52,355
That's a negative.
My mother had me tested. Over.
93
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,491
Come on, scrub it up, Loops.
94
00:03:55,493 --> 00:03:58,260
All right, all right.
95
00:03:58,262 --> 00:03:59,561
I gotta go.
96
00:03:59,563 --> 00:04:02,130
There's a meteor shower.
97
00:04:02,132 --> 00:04:03,832
You want to see a meteor shower?
98
00:04:03,834 --> 00:04:06,868
Take a look at what Dimitri
just left you in the toilet.
99
00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:12,975
Bye.
100
00:04:12,977 --> 00:04:15,310
Over and out.
101
00:04:15,312 --> 00:04:17,045
Bye, buddy!
102
00:04:18,282 --> 00:04:19,348
Hello.
103
00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:20,716
Hey, Stuart, come on in.
104
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:21,917
What are you doing here?
105
00:04:21,919 --> 00:04:25,287
Um, Raj invited me to go
to the movies with you guys.
106
00:04:25,289 --> 00:04:27,490
Excuse me.
107
00:04:28,525 --> 00:04:30,527
I didn't authorize this.
108
00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,664
Sheldon, you are not in charge.
109
00:04:33,666 --> 00:04:35,266
That's mighty sassy for a man
110
00:04:35,268 --> 00:04:37,535
with a roommate performance
review around the corner.
111
00:04:38,871 --> 00:04:40,104
What's the big deal?
112
00:04:40,106 --> 00:04:41,706
You guys are bringing
your girlfriends.
113
00:04:41,708 --> 00:04:42,940
I didn't want to sit by myself.
114
00:04:42,942 --> 00:04:45,410
The big deal is
I was expecting us
115
00:04:45,412 --> 00:04:47,312
to be an intimate group of five.
116
00:04:47,314 --> 00:04:48,479
Now, we're going to be a...
117
00:04:48,481 --> 00:04:50,682
faceless mass of six.
118
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,652
It'll be fine.
Just, uh, pretend he's Wolowitz.
119
00:04:55,354 --> 00:04:56,588
Hmm.
120
00:04:59,025 --> 00:05:01,360
Do you like Raisinets?
121
00:05:01,362 --> 00:05:02,828
I can take them or leave them.
122
00:05:02,830 --> 00:05:05,063
At the movies, Wolowitz
always eats Raisinets.
123
00:05:05,065 --> 00:05:07,800
Would you feel more comfortable
if I ate Raisinets?
124
00:05:07,802 --> 00:05:11,037
Well, it's hardly my business
what you eat,
125
00:05:11,039 --> 00:05:12,539
as long as it doesn't crunch
during the film
126
00:05:12,541 --> 00:05:13,907
and it's Raisinets.
127
00:05:15,543 --> 00:05:16,810
Okay.
128
00:05:16,812 --> 00:05:17,777
Should we go?
129
00:05:17,779 --> 00:05:19,112
Yeah, but, one more question.
130
00:05:19,114 --> 00:05:20,147
If you're going
to replace Wolowitz,
131
00:05:20,149 --> 00:05:21,181
I need to know
a little more about you.
132
00:05:21,183 --> 00:05:22,182
All right.
133
00:05:22,184 --> 00:05:24,084
Wolowitz went to MIT.
134
00:05:24,086 --> 00:05:25,752
What's your educational
background?
135
00:05:25,754 --> 00:05:27,420
I went to art school.
136
00:05:27,422 --> 00:05:28,855
Equally ridiculous. Let's go.
137
00:05:51,047 --> 00:05:55,184
This insistence on hand-holding
is preposterous.
138
00:05:55,186 --> 00:05:56,319
Well, I like it.
139
00:05:56,321 --> 00:05:57,320
Yeah, of course you do.
140
00:05:57,322 --> 00:05:58,989
You're a girl.
141
00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:02,159
You like all kinds
of hippy-dippy things.
142
00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:04,829
Just watch the movie.
143
00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:08,332
It's not fair.
144
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:11,202
Penny isn't making Leonard
hold hands.
145
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,438
There might
be a reason for that.
146
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,742
Sweaty?
147
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,110
Unhygienic?
148
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,445
Looks dumb?
149
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:21,946
Take your pick.
150
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:24,382
Penny said she's not sure
151
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,283
she wants to be Leonard's
girlfriend anymore.
152
00:06:29,287 --> 00:06:34,056
Wrong. She just took a sip
from his Diet Dr. Pepper.
153
00:06:34,058 --> 00:06:35,258
So?
154
00:06:35,260 --> 00:06:38,461
So, if she wants to end
her pair-bond with Leonard,
155
00:06:38,463 --> 00:06:40,396
why on earth would she guzzle
a witches' brew
156
00:06:40,398 --> 00:06:42,799
of his soda and spit?
157
00:06:42,801 --> 00:06:45,635
It's complicated.
158
00:06:45,637 --> 00:06:49,071
String theory is complicated.
159
00:06:49,073 --> 00:06:50,840
That's just yucky.
160
00:06:53,778 --> 00:06:56,046
Don't get any ideas.
161
00:06:59,684 --> 00:07:02,319
All right, for the sake of
argument, let's say that's true.
162
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:04,454
Why doesn't Penny
just end the relationship?
163
00:07:04,456 --> 00:07:06,257
She's not sure how she feels.
164
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:09,627
How can she not be sure
how she feels?
165
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:12,897
You know, when I have
a feeling, I know it.
166
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:15,933
Trains? Love them.
167
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,136
Swordfish?
I love them, too.
168
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:21,806
They're fish with a sword
for a nose.
169
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,845
Regardless, don't say anything
to Leonard.
170
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:29,881
Now you're asking me
to keep a secret
171
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:32,083
from my best friend,
colleague, and roommate?
172
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,152
Yes, please, Penny will kill me.
173
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:37,121
Fine.
174
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,723
FYI: secret-keeping?
175
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:41,226
Hate it.
176
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:44,629
Hand-holding?
Not a fan.
177
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,899
Hammerhead shark?
I love that thing.
178
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:51,036
Yeah, it's another fish
with a tool on its head.
179
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,438
Raisinet?
180
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,241
Shh, we're trying
to watch the movie.
181
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:02,548
This is not working out
with him.
182
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:17,263
What are you doing?
183
00:08:17,265 --> 00:08:19,065
I think I might
have tartar buildup.
184
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:25,938
My tongue won't go as far
forward as it used to.
185
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,974
Maybe your tongue is shrinking.
186
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:36,814
Nope.
187
00:08:42,087 --> 00:08:44,522
Oh, you have no idea
how annoying this is.
188
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:48,426
I'm starting
to get a sense of it.
189
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:52,564
Don't worry. I'll take you
to the dentist tomorrow.
190
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,432
Thank you.
191
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,567
I appreciate that.
192
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,269
You're good people, Leonard.
193
00:09:06,945 --> 00:09:08,345
There's something
I need to tell you.
194
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,813
Okay.
195
00:09:11,882 --> 00:09:13,683
I can't tell you.
196
00:09:13,685 --> 00:09:15,953
Why?
197
00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:19,423
I can't tell you
why I can't tell you.
198
00:09:20,458 --> 00:09:24,061
So I guess there's two things
I can't tell you.
199
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,464
I wish there were more.
200
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:30,233
Good night.
201
00:09:35,706 --> 00:09:36,740
I'm sorry.
202
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,208
This is really important.
203
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,776
What is it?
204
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:44,347
I like The Transformers.
205
00:09:45,816 --> 00:09:49,152
Do you like The Transformers?
206
00:09:49,154 --> 00:09:52,856
Where exactly did your mother
have you tested?
207
00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:55,291
Leonard,
208
00:09:55,293 --> 00:09:57,126
The Transformers teach us
209
00:09:57,128 --> 00:10:00,530
that things are not always
what they appear to be.
210
00:10:00,532 --> 00:10:01,998
You know, like, uh,
211
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,834
a semi truck might
be an alien robot,
212
00:10:05,836 --> 00:10:10,707
or, uh, someone in a romantic
relationship, uh, might feel
213
00:10:10,709 --> 00:10:12,475
differently than they appear to.
214
00:10:12,477 --> 00:10:15,111
Or a conversation
215
00:10:15,113 --> 00:10:17,881
about The Transformers
might actually be
216
00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,284
about someone in this room.
217
00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:29,160
I'm going to pause
to let that sink in.
218
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,030
Okay, I think I understand.
219
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,265
You do?
220
00:10:33,267 --> 00:10:38,070
The guy who seems like
an emotionless robot is you...
221
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:44,509
but your relationship with Amy
is causing you to transform
222
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:48,880
into a red-blooded man
with sexual desires.
223
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:56,154
That is literally the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.
224
00:11:03,965 --> 00:11:05,264
Leonard?
225
00:11:05,266 --> 00:11:06,599
Leonard.
226
00:11:06,601 --> 00:11:08,367
Leonard?
227
00:11:08,369 --> 00:11:09,834
What?
228
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,970
Are you sleeping?
229
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,105
I was. Now I'm having
a nightmare.
230
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:17,875
What do you want?
231
00:11:20,344 --> 00:11:22,880
Never mind.
I still can't tell you.
232
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:26,783
Penny?
233
00:11:26,785 --> 00:11:29,052
Mmm.
234
00:11:34,425 --> 00:11:35,458
Penny.
235
00:11:35,460 --> 00:11:38,561
Mm-hmm, mmm.
236
00:11:38,563 --> 00:11:39,929
Penny.
237
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:45,001
Oh, my God.
238
00:11:45,003 --> 00:11:45,835
Sheldon?
239
00:11:45,837 --> 00:11:48,237
You frightened me.
240
00:11:51,608 --> 00:11:53,910
What are you doing
in my bedroom?
241
00:11:53,912 --> 00:11:55,411
Yeah, well, I knocked
on the front door,
242
00:11:55,413 --> 00:11:56,378
but you didn't hear it.
243
00:11:56,380 --> 00:11:58,414
How did you even get in,
you weirdo?
244
00:11:58,416 --> 00:12:00,049
Yeah, really?
245
00:12:00,051 --> 00:12:02,484
I've seen strange men traipsing
in and out of here for years,
246
00:12:02,486 --> 00:12:04,653
but when I do it, it's weird?
247
00:12:05,955 --> 00:12:07,088
What do you want, Sheldon?
248
00:12:07,090 --> 00:12:09,691
Oh, I was having a
little trouble sleeping
249
00:12:09,693 --> 00:12:10,825
and I just thought,
250
00:12:10,827 --> 00:12:14,029
uh, seeing as you're up,
we could talk.
251
00:12:15,231 --> 00:12:16,298
Talk about what?
252
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,532
Oh, I don't know.
253
00:12:17,534 --> 00:12:21,636
Uh, weather, uh, fish
you could do carpentry with.
254
00:12:22,705 --> 00:12:24,373
Why Leonard is such
an attractive
255
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:25,908
and desirable boyfriend.
256
00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:28,044
Yeah, pick one-- your choice.
257
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:29,679
Sheldon.
258
00:12:29,681 --> 00:12:32,182
Did you know that Leonard
has a perfect driving record
259
00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:34,684
and enjoys
the insurance discounts
260
00:12:34,686 --> 00:12:35,785
that go along with that?
261
00:12:35,787 --> 00:12:38,254
Hubba-hubba.
262
00:12:38,256 --> 00:12:41,457
Okay, go home, crazy man.
263
00:12:41,459 --> 00:12:43,693
Yeah. Did you know that
264
00:12:43,695 --> 00:12:46,529
while Leonard is not considered
a tall fellow in our country,
265
00:12:46,531 --> 00:12:49,399
in today's North Korea,
he's downright average.
266
00:12:50,601 --> 00:12:52,735
Talk about a keeper.
267
00:12:54,271 --> 00:12:55,638
Okay, what did Amy tell you?
268
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,173
Oh, very well.
269
00:12:57,175 --> 00:12:59,242
I can't keep up
this clever charade any longer.
270
00:12:59,244 --> 00:13:01,844
She told me
271
00:13:01,846 --> 00:13:03,879
that you were thinking
of ending it with Leonard.
272
00:13:03,881 --> 00:13:06,648
Okay, you listen to me.
273
00:13:06,650 --> 00:13:09,218
I think it's really sweet you're
trying to protect your friend,
274
00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:10,752
but this is none
of your business. Got it?
275
00:13:10,754 --> 00:13:14,789
Excuse me. This is not
about protecting my friend.
276
00:13:19,428 --> 00:13:22,598
I'm a big fan of homeostasis.
277
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:23,699
Do you know what that is?
278
00:13:23,701 --> 00:13:26,235
Of course not.
Yeah.
279
00:13:26,237 --> 00:13:30,273
Homeostasis refers
to a system's ability
280
00:13:30,275 --> 00:13:32,141
to regulate
its internal environment
281
00:13:32,143 --> 00:13:35,011
and maintain a constant
condition of properties
282
00:13:35,013 --> 00:13:37,213
like temperature or pH.
283
00:13:37,215 --> 00:13:40,650
Worst bedtime story ever.
284
00:13:40,652 --> 00:13:44,254
My point is
285
00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:46,089
I don't like when things change.
286
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:48,057
So, regardless of your feelings,
287
00:13:48,059 --> 00:13:50,426
I would like you
to continue dating Leonard.
288
00:13:51,462 --> 00:13:52,929
And also,
289
00:13:52,931 --> 00:13:55,799
while we're on the subject, you
recently changed your shampoo.
290
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:58,268
I'm not comfortable
with the new scent.
291
00:13:59,503 --> 00:14:01,804
Please stop this madness
and go back to green apple.
292
00:14:03,808 --> 00:14:06,042
Okay, honey, I have
a lot to figure out,
293
00:14:06,044 --> 00:14:09,546
and until I do, you are not
to say a word to Leonard.
294
00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:10,781
Do you understand?
295
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,150
I do.
296
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,884
You clear
on the shampoo issue?
297
00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:15,319
Get out.
298
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,091
Penny?
299
00:14:21,093 --> 00:14:22,192
What?
300
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:25,162
Please don't hurt my friend.
301
00:14:26,531 --> 00:14:28,532
That is the last thing
I want to do.
302
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,500
Thank you.
303
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,637
Coconut? What were you thinking?
304
00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:34,672
Are you a hula girl?
305
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,908
Get out!
306
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,318
Hello?
307
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,288
What the hell is wrong with you?
You told Sheldon?
308
00:14:48,290 --> 00:14:50,157
Do you know what a terrible
position this puts me in?
309
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:52,760
Hang on, please.
310
00:14:54,729 --> 00:14:55,729
Hello?
311
00:14:55,731 --> 00:14:57,431
Yeah, just a heads-up:
312
00:14:57,433 --> 00:14:59,533
Penny knows that you blabbed
about Leonard.
313
00:14:59,535 --> 00:15:01,236
She's pretty mad.
314
00:15:01,238 --> 00:15:03,305
I know.
315
00:15:03,307 --> 00:15:05,241
She's yelling at me right now.
316
00:15:05,243 --> 00:15:09,346
All right then,
so we're all on the same page.
317
00:15:09,348 --> 00:15:12,216
Yeah.
318
00:15:13,385 --> 00:15:15,353
Hey, Bernie.
319
00:15:15,355 --> 00:15:16,554
There's my hubby.
320
00:15:16,556 --> 00:15:18,023
How's everything going up there?
321
00:15:18,025 --> 00:15:19,824
Oh, it's okay.
322
00:15:19,826 --> 00:15:22,160
Space is beautiful.
323
00:15:22,162 --> 00:15:26,030
Earth is beautiful.
Same old, same old.
324
00:15:26,032 --> 00:15:27,564
What's wrong?
325
00:15:27,566 --> 00:15:28,599
Nothing.
326
00:15:28,601 --> 00:15:30,133
Everything's fine.
327
00:15:30,135 --> 00:15:31,301
Howard.
328
00:15:33,972 --> 00:15:37,174
The other astronauts
are being mean to me.
329
00:15:39,811 --> 00:15:41,312
No, what are they doing?
330
00:15:41,314 --> 00:15:44,382
Well, like for instance, the
other day when I was asleep,
331
00:15:44,384 --> 00:15:47,985
one of the guys went
on a space walk and glued
332
00:15:47,987 --> 00:15:52,957
a big-eyed rubber alien mask
to the outside of my window.
333
00:15:54,393 --> 00:15:57,328
When I woke up, I screamed
for like nine minutes.
334
00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,430
Oh, Howie.
335
00:15:59,432 --> 00:16:01,799
You can see it if you want.
It's on YouTube.
336
00:16:01,801 --> 00:16:05,970
Google "astronaut screams
for nine minutes."
337
00:16:05,972 --> 00:16:08,273
Why don't you stand up to them?
338
00:16:08,275 --> 00:16:10,609
What am I supposed to say?
339
00:16:10,611 --> 00:16:12,778
I don't know.
340
00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:15,381
Say, "Being mean is lame.
341
00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:18,951
What's cool is being nice."
342
00:16:24,224 --> 00:16:27,160
Great, I'll do that when
I want to be the first guy
343
00:16:27,162 --> 00:16:30,129
in space to get a wedgie.
344
00:16:30,131 --> 00:16:32,865
Do you want me
to call somebody at NASA?
345
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,567
No.
346
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:36,035
My mom already tried that.
347
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:38,838
It only made things worse.
348
00:16:40,006 --> 00:16:42,474
Gelatinous Sphere.
349
00:16:42,476 --> 00:16:45,176
Focused Locust.
350
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:48,446
Temple of Yip.
351
00:16:48,448 --> 00:16:51,349
I'm sorry. Wolowitz
would never play that card.
352
00:16:52,184 --> 00:16:56,253
All right,
Lesser Demon Turtle.
353
00:16:56,255 --> 00:16:59,156
Fairy God Monster, I win.
354
00:16:59,158 --> 00:17:02,660
Your desperate need
for friendship makes you weak.
355
00:17:04,963 --> 00:17:06,297
So, what are you
guys doing later?
356
00:17:06,299 --> 00:17:08,766
Stuart and I were thinking
of going out for a drink.
357
00:17:08,768 --> 00:17:10,168
We're gonna try
to meet some girls.
358
00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:12,003
'Cause that's what we do.
359
00:17:13,739 --> 00:17:14,873
Watch out, ladies:
360
00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:19,344
a little coffee and cream
coming your way.
361
00:17:20,313 --> 00:17:23,982
In case you didn't follow that,
I'm the coffee.
362
00:17:24,584 --> 00:17:25,751
Leonard?
363
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:28,520
Maybe you'd like to go
with them to meet girls.
364
00:17:28,522 --> 00:17:30,790
Why would I be interested?
I have Penny.
365
00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:33,593
Yeah, for now.
366
00:17:34,528 --> 00:17:36,829
But that woman has
a death wish, Leonard.
367
00:17:36,831 --> 00:17:40,600
She talks to strangers;
she pets unfamiliar dogs;
368
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,001
and it is ridiculously easy
369
00:17:42,003 --> 00:17:45,571
to break
into her apartment.
370
00:17:45,573 --> 00:17:47,373
If I were you,
371
00:17:47,375 --> 00:17:48,574
I'd get a back-up.
372
00:17:48,576 --> 00:17:51,110
You can't just replace
someone you care about
373
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,012
with some other random person.
374
00:17:53,014 --> 00:17:56,515
No, please don't ruin this
for me.
375
00:17:57,851 --> 00:18:00,453
Do you remember
how upset I was
376
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:03,155
when they replaced Edward Norton
as the Hulk?
377
00:18:03,157 --> 00:18:06,025
Yes, you walked around
for a week saying,
378
00:18:06,027 --> 00:18:09,028
"Sheldon unhappy
with casting choice."
379
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:14,233
But, then Mark Ruffalo
was the Hulk in The Avengers,
380
00:18:14,235 --> 00:18:15,934
and he was even better.
381
00:18:15,936 --> 00:18:16,935
What's your point?
382
00:18:16,937 --> 00:18:18,404
Call me a romantic.
383
00:18:18,406 --> 00:18:20,139
I like to think
384
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:23,976
that your Mark Ruffalo
is still out there somewhere.
385
00:18:25,445 --> 00:18:27,513
This is ridiculous.
Are we gonna play cards or not?
386
00:18:27,515 --> 00:18:29,782
I like Mark Ruffalo, too.
387
00:18:29,784 --> 00:18:33,318
Yeah, settle down there,
Fake Wolowitz.
388
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,422
No one likes a kiss-up.
389
00:18:38,892 --> 00:18:42,061
So, I had to take Sheldon
to the dentist this morning.
390
00:18:42,063 --> 00:18:43,962
Really?
Yup.
391
00:18:43,964 --> 00:18:45,698
I told him if he didn't
bite the hygienist,
392
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:48,233
I'd take him for ice cream.
393
00:18:48,235 --> 00:18:49,501
Mmm.
394
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:52,839
I didn't have to take him
for ice cream.
395
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,474
Uh-huh.
396
00:18:54,476 --> 00:18:55,642
You okay?
397
00:18:55,644 --> 00:18:56,843
You seem a little distracted.
398
00:18:59,246 --> 00:19:03,349
Look, there's something
I need to tell you.
399
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,616
Oh.
400
00:19:04,618 --> 00:19:05,684
Yeah, okay.
401
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,520
I don't really know
how to say this.
402
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:08,621
Just say it.
403
00:19:08,623 --> 00:19:11,323
Okay. Here goes.
404
00:19:11,325 --> 00:19:13,091
Mm-hmm.
405
00:19:19,399 --> 00:19:22,000
You slept with him?
406
00:19:22,002 --> 00:19:23,669
I didn't know what else to do.
407
00:19:23,671 --> 00:19:26,038
He had those big, sad eyes.
408
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,875
Oh, sure, you had no choice.
409
00:19:32,411 --> 00:19:34,212
He looked at me like this.
410
00:19:37,817 --> 00:19:39,017
Well, if that's all it takes,
411
00:19:39,019 --> 00:19:40,485
it's a good thing
you don't have a dog.
412
00:19:43,623 --> 00:19:45,991
Don't worry.
413
00:19:45,993 --> 00:19:47,993
You'll have plenty of chances
to break up with him:
414
00:19:47,995 --> 00:19:49,662
Your wedding day,
your honeymoon,
415
00:19:49,664 --> 00:19:52,165
your 50th anniversary.
416
00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:53,233
Look, it's fine.
417
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,934
We're not getting married, okay?
418
00:19:54,936 --> 00:19:59,172
We're keeping things,
you know, homeostasis.
419
00:20:00,841 --> 00:20:04,377
It's so cute
when she tries.
420
00:20:08,116 --> 00:20:10,150
It's from Leonard.
421
00:20:10,152 --> 00:20:11,785
"Last night was amazing.
422
00:20:11,787 --> 00:20:12,919
"You're amazing.
423
00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:15,722
I'm so lucky to have you
in my life."
424
00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:19,760
Please, stop it.
425
00:20:23,636 --> 00:20:25,471
Hey, Bernie, guess what?
426
00:20:25,473 --> 00:20:27,740
I stood up to the other
astronauts like you said
427
00:20:27,742 --> 00:20:30,476
and I got to tell you,
last night was the first time
428
00:20:30,478 --> 00:20:32,578
in a week I got
a good night's sleep.
429
00:20:39,286 --> 00:20:42,621
Oh, Howie.
430
00:20:42,623 --> 00:20:44,924
What's wrong?
You look upset.
431
00:20:44,926 --> 00:20:47,493
Nope, this is my proud face.
432
00:20:47,495 --> 00:20:51,495
== sync, corrected by elderman ==