1 00:00:12,173 --> 00:00:14,274 According to our Mayan calendar, 2 00:00:14,308 --> 00:00:16,443 the world will be destroyed 3 00:00:16,477 --> 00:00:19,045 at the end of the 13th baktun. 4 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:22,882 Unless we appease the gods' anger with a human sacrifice. 5 00:00:22,917 --> 00:00:25,919 Don't worry. We got a guy here we really been fattening up. 6 00:00:25,953 --> 00:00:27,220 Is it you? 7 00:00:27,254 --> 00:00:29,055 Not me. That guy. 8 00:00:29,090 --> 00:00:30,724 More cricket fajitas! 9 00:00:30,758 --> 00:00:33,059 Oh, my brave, brave glutton. 10 00:00:33,094 --> 00:00:36,830 I'll be so lonely when they sacrifice you to the gods. 11 00:00:36,864 --> 00:00:39,199 What?! 12 00:00:39,233 --> 00:00:41,151 No one said anything about a sacrifice! 13 00:00:41,185 --> 00:00:44,504 Although I... I did kind of space out during orientation. 14 00:00:44,538 --> 00:00:46,222 All right already, let's get this done 15 00:00:46,257 --> 00:00:48,858 while our doomed civilization is still flourishing here. 16 00:00:48,893 --> 00:00:50,860 Oh. Any words of comfort? 17 00:00:50,895 --> 00:00:53,063 Oh, yeah, sure. Even though you know it's coming, 18 00:00:53,097 --> 00:00:54,731 when you see your own beating heart, 19 00:00:54,765 --> 00:00:56,166 try to act surprised, huh? 20 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,700 It's some kid's first time. 21 00:00:57,735 --> 00:01:00,136 Fear not, my beloved blood offering. 22 00:01:00,171 --> 00:01:02,055 I have a plan. 23 00:01:02,089 --> 00:01:03,823 Tell me, High Priest, 24 00:01:03,858 --> 00:01:06,326 are you interested in women? 25 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,660 What priest isn't? 26 00:01:07,695 --> 00:01:09,062 Before we make love, 27 00:01:09,096 --> 00:01:11,498 would you mind putting a sack over your head? 28 00:01:11,532 --> 00:01:14,167 Is there any other way? 29 00:01:14,201 --> 00:01:15,318 Nice and tight. 30 00:01:15,352 --> 00:01:17,520 Now enter the Room of Pleasure, Ooh. 31 00:01:17,571 --> 00:01:19,572 and I shall join you shortly. 32 00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:24,110 Now, uh, I got to warn you. I'm into rough stuff. 33 00:01:24,145 --> 00:01:26,613 Ooh, that's a good start, but, you know, make it hurt. 34 00:01:26,647 --> 00:01:28,114 Heh. Ooh! 35 00:01:28,149 --> 00:01:31,201 That whooshing sound is really turning me... 36 00:01:31,969 --> 00:01:33,353 Oh! 37 00:01:33,387 --> 00:01:35,221 Uh. Oh, yeah. Ah. 38 00:01:41,212 --> 00:01:43,630 Man, soccer's even boring for the ball. 39 00:01:43,664 --> 00:01:44,964 Quetzal H. Coatl! 40 00:01:44,999 --> 00:01:46,800 We sacrificed the wrong person! 41 00:01:46,834 --> 00:01:50,370 Now the earth will be destroyed after the 13th baktun. 44 00:01:55,509 --> 00:01:56,709 Let's see, uh, 45 00:01:56,744 --> 00:01:58,378 converting to base 10, 46 00:01:58,412 --> 00:02:01,147 assuming for the birth of Jesus, 47 00:02:01,182 --> 00:02:04,184 invent and then carry the leap year, 48 00:02:04,218 --> 00:02:07,887 and the world will end in 2012! 49 00:02:09,023 --> 00:02:11,457 And it will be Obama's fault! 50 00:02:17,198 --> 00:02:19,065 Hey, uh, Marge, I'm setting my watch. 51 00:02:19,099 --> 00:02:20,333 What baktun is it? 52 00:02:20,367 --> 00:02:22,101 13th! Oh! 53 00:02:24,805 --> 00:02:26,906 Oh! What have we here? 54 00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:29,926 Ow! 55 00:02:39,036 --> 00:02:41,154 What the hell! 56 00:02:41,179 --> 00:02:45,179 ♪ The Simpsons 24x02 ♪ Moonshine River Original Air Date on October 7, 2012 57 00:02:45,204 --> 00:02:49,204 == sync, corrected by elderman == 58 00:03:05,095 --> 00:03:08,131 Ow! Ow! 59 00:03:19,234 --> 00:03:22,086 Welcome to the grand opening of our whatchamacallit, 60 00:03:22,121 --> 00:03:24,756 which, thanks to the lobbying of Lisa Simpson, 61 00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:27,358 we built instead of a new baseball stadium. 62 00:03:27,392 --> 00:03:29,310 At least the pennant works both ways. 63 00:03:29,344 --> 00:03:33,080 Professor Frink will now throw a switch, which will either 64 00:03:33,098 --> 00:03:36,634 answer certain obscure questions of subatomic physics 65 00:03:36,668 --> 00:03:39,287 or destroy the universe. 66 00:03:46,762 --> 00:03:49,297 Oh, my God particle! 67 00:03:49,331 --> 00:03:50,832 What is it, Professor? 68 00:03:50,866 --> 00:03:53,468 You can tell your grandchildren you were here 69 00:03:53,502 --> 00:03:56,571 when humanity finally learned that this accelerator 70 00:03:56,605 --> 00:03:59,140 is much too small to tell us anything important. 71 00:04:00,476 --> 00:04:02,243 Thanks a lot, Liser! 72 00:04:02,277 --> 00:04:05,046 That money could've been used for a war! 73 00:04:26,668 --> 00:04:28,870 Aah! No one takes Willie's mop! 74 00:04:30,305 --> 00:04:31,889 Take the mop! Take the mop! 75 00:04:34,660 --> 00:04:35,976 Huh? 76 00:04:37,346 --> 00:04:40,281 A mini black hole! 77 00:04:41,316 --> 00:04:43,551 Whee...! 78 00:04:43,585 --> 00:04:45,553 Oh, no! I got to take it away 79 00:04:45,587 --> 00:04:47,622 before more clueless kids fall into it. 80 00:04:47,656 --> 00:04:49,323 Geronimo...! 81 00:04:49,358 --> 00:04:50,424 Wha...! 82 00:05:00,352 --> 00:05:02,620 I's rich! 83 00:05:02,654 --> 00:05:05,289 I's poor and shack-less. 84 00:05:09,361 --> 00:05:10,328 Lisa, do you 85 00:05:10,362 --> 00:05:12,396 have a stray dog down there? 86 00:05:12,431 --> 00:05:15,333 Um, it's a lot worse than a stray dog. 87 00:05:15,367 --> 00:05:16,734 Two stray dogs?! 88 00:05:16,768 --> 00:05:17,869 It's a black hole! 89 00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:19,503 That was gonna be my next guess. 90 00:05:19,538 --> 00:05:21,322 Are you sure your next guess wasn't 91 00:05:21,356 --> 00:05:22,990 three stray dogs? 92 00:05:23,025 --> 00:05:24,242 Maybe. 93 00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:26,827 A black hole?! 94 00:05:26,862 --> 00:05:29,030 I'm sorry, can we call it that? 95 00:05:29,064 --> 00:05:31,182 Yes. It's the preferred term. 96 00:05:31,216 --> 00:05:33,584 And most scientists believe that what enters a black hole 97 00:05:33,619 --> 00:05:35,186 never comes out. 98 00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:38,322 But some think they may be a gateway to other universes. 99 00:05:38,357 --> 00:05:40,508 Hey! Could it open a pretzel bag for me? 100 00:05:40,542 --> 00:05:42,009 Help a brother out, B.H. 101 00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:43,444 Whoo-hoo! 102 00:05:43,478 --> 00:05:44,712 D'oh! 103 00:05:47,716 --> 00:05:50,551 Guys! Stop throwing things in the hole! 104 00:05:50,586 --> 00:05:52,052 The more you throw in, the bigger 105 00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:54,055 and more dangerous it becomes! 106 00:05:54,089 --> 00:05:57,425 Come on. You can't look at that infinitely dense little guy 107 00:05:57,459 --> 00:05:59,410 and not want to feed it something. 108 00:05:59,444 --> 00:06:00,711 Dad, don't pat it! 109 00:06:00,746 --> 00:06:02,246 Why shouldn't... 110 00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:05,616 Why you little... 111 00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:08,920 I'm nature's perfect choking machine! 112 00:06:08,954 --> 00:06:10,705 Okay, that's it! 113 00:06:10,739 --> 00:06:13,307 I'm putting a baby gate across the black hole. 114 00:06:13,342 --> 00:06:16,294 And don't throw anything more into it! 115 00:06:16,328 --> 00:06:18,412 Yes, Homer? 116 00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:20,097 Dad, that's creepy. 117 00:06:20,132 --> 00:06:22,082 Sorry. 118 00:06:22,734 --> 00:06:26,103 ("Gone Gone Gone" plays) 119 00:06:26,138 --> 00:06:29,106 I know we shouldn't feed this, 120 00:06:29,141 --> 00:06:31,475 but grease brings raccoons. 121 00:06:31,510 --> 00:06:33,894 ♪ Gone, gone, gone ♪ 122 00:06:33,929 --> 00:06:35,713 ♪ Really gone ♪ 123 00:06:35,747 --> 00:06:38,382 ♪ Gone, gone, gone ♪ 124 00:06:38,417 --> 00:06:42,103 ♪ 'Cause you done me wrong ♪ 125 00:06:42,137 --> 00:06:44,472 ♪ Done me wrong... ♪ 126 00:06:44,506 --> 00:06:46,691 ♪ Ah, ah... ♪ 127 00:06:46,725 --> 00:06:47,975 Huh? 128 00:06:48,010 --> 00:06:49,944 Oh-oh! 129 00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:04,925 Quit bageling my English muffins! 130 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,094 The black hole is looking a lot bigger. 131 00:07:07,128 --> 00:07:09,597 Does anybody want to admit to throwing things in? 132 00:07:09,631 --> 00:07:10,831 No. Not me. 133 00:07:10,866 --> 00:07:12,299 Do we even still have that thing? 134 00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:15,453 And I have to ask, has anyone seen the cat? 135 00:07:20,192 --> 00:07:21,525 Now what? 136 00:07:23,862 --> 00:07:28,816 Okay, it's possible someone may have started a business 137 00:07:28,850 --> 00:07:31,485 called Magic Craphole Waste Removal, 138 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,871 but it wasn't me. Ew! 139 00:07:46,985 --> 00:07:48,019 Yar! 140 00:07:48,053 --> 00:07:49,186 Yar, ar. 141 00:07:49,221 --> 00:07:50,671 Stop! 142 00:07:50,706 --> 00:07:54,008 This is a black hole, not a lawn-and-leaf bag! 143 00:07:54,042 --> 00:07:57,645 If one more thing gets in there, it could reach critical mass. 144 00:08:01,717 --> 00:08:02,750 I did it! 145 00:08:02,784 --> 00:08:04,785 I hit my first home run! 146 00:08:04,820 --> 00:08:05,953 No...! 147 00:08:07,189 --> 00:08:08,689 I'm still proud of you, buddy. 148 00:08:08,724 --> 00:08:12,326 And look! I got money to take you for pizza! 149 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,462 You saw that I had the money, right? 150 00:08:52,384 --> 00:08:54,902 Welcome, trans- dimensional visitors. 151 00:08:54,936 --> 00:08:59,240 We have received your many gifts with gratitude. 152 00:08:59,274 --> 00:09:01,342 Haw-haw! 153 00:09:01,376 --> 00:09:04,645 We have built our society around the treasures you have sent. 154 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:06,430 Our most popular magazine is 155 00:09:06,465 --> 00:09:09,300 your Presidents' Day Mattress Blowout insert. 156 00:09:10,769 --> 00:09:13,604 Oufarite food is your banana peel. 157 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,774 And we listen to all our music 158 00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:19,443 on the most wonderful device ever created, 159 00:09:19,478 --> 00:09:20,811 the Zune. 160 00:09:20,846 --> 00:09:23,747 Zune, Zune, Zune. 161 00:09:23,782 --> 00:09:25,649 Treasures? Gifts? You've got it all wrong. 162 00:09:25,684 --> 00:09:27,551 That stuff is just our old... 163 00:09:27,586 --> 00:09:30,504 - Wonderful stuff. Enjoy it. - Zune. 164 00:09:38,131 --> 00:09:41,767 Day 1: We bought this camera because strange things 165 00:09:41,801 --> 00:09:45,638 have been going on at our house in the dead of night. 166 00:09:48,642 --> 00:09:52,444 And if anyone finds this footage after we're all missing or dead, 167 00:09:52,479 --> 00:09:54,663 remember me as a hero. Dad, 168 00:09:54,698 --> 00:09:56,932 you forgot to pick me up after Little League. 169 00:09:56,967 --> 00:09:59,668 You tossed your car keys in my bean plant. 170 00:09:59,703 --> 00:10:01,103 A hero! 171 00:10:01,137 --> 00:10:02,905 Homer, is that my camera? 172 00:10:02,939 --> 00:10:04,473 Hero, away! 173 00:10:05,508 --> 00:10:07,543 Night 1. 174 00:10:08,845 --> 00:10:10,279 Want to snuggle? 175 00:10:11,615 --> 00:10:13,582 Not with the camera on. 176 00:10:13,617 --> 00:10:14,850 Uh, I turned it off. 177 00:10:14,884 --> 00:10:16,585 Looks like the red light's on. 178 00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:19,455 I swear I am not filming! 179 00:10:19,489 --> 00:10:22,925 Note to self-- edit out my lies. 180 00:10:22,959 --> 00:10:24,627 Oh! 181 00:10:50,553 --> 00:10:52,221 Wait! Don't kill the monster without me! 182 00:10:54,024 --> 00:10:56,625 I'm right behind you, honey! We have stairs? 183 00:10:56,660 --> 00:10:58,394 Ow! D'oh! Aah! D'oh! 184 00:10:59,813 --> 00:11:01,563 What the...? Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh! 185 00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:08,821 What the...? 186 00:11:11,524 --> 00:11:13,726 Why is this happening to us?! 187 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,729 I don't know, I don't know! I'm sure I don't know! 188 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,364 Oh, sweetie. 189 00:11:18,398 --> 00:11:21,233 Sometimes a mysterious, invisible being from Hell 190 00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:24,036 waits for a family to go to sleep then kills them. 191 00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:25,404 Now, go to bed. But... 192 00:11:25,438 --> 00:11:27,089 Uh-uh. School night. 193 00:11:27,123 --> 00:11:30,225 Now, you're sure I bought enough cameras 194 00:11:30,260 --> 00:11:32,177 and extended warranties to catch that ghost? 195 00:11:32,211 --> 00:11:33,712 Sir, whatever happens in this house, 196 00:11:33,730 --> 00:11:35,347 these cameras will pick it up. 197 00:11:35,382 --> 00:11:37,132 Ooh, I can't wait for tonight's massacre. 198 00:11:55,151 --> 00:11:57,720 - Hey, Marge. - Mmm... 199 00:11:57,754 --> 00:11:59,855 Oh. Like what you see, huh? 200 00:11:59,889 --> 00:12:01,457 Mmm... 201 00:12:01,491 --> 00:12:03,692 I like it when you don't say words. 202 00:12:03,727 --> 00:12:05,561 Come here, you. Mmm... 203 00:12:05,595 --> 00:12:08,364 Mmm... 204 00:12:29,803 --> 00:12:31,136 Eh, eh. 205 00:12:31,171 --> 00:12:33,255 Yeah, that's hellfire, all right. 206 00:12:33,289 --> 00:12:35,908 Someone in this family has made a deal with the devil, 207 00:12:35,942 --> 00:12:38,010 and now the devil wants his due. 208 00:12:38,044 --> 00:12:40,479 Now, remember, this creature feeds on your fear... 209 00:12:40,513 --> 00:12:42,798 What the hell was that?! 210 00:12:44,784 --> 00:12:47,953 Actually, he feeds on more than just fear. 211 00:13:02,569 --> 00:13:04,470 Give back my baby! 212 00:13:04,504 --> 00:13:06,004 We had a deal! 213 00:13:06,039 --> 00:13:07,940 Mom, what's going on?! 214 00:13:07,974 --> 00:13:09,842 Don't act so surprised, Marge. 215 00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:11,543 You knew this day was coming! 216 00:13:11,578 --> 00:13:13,195 Let's see what we're dealing with here. 217 00:13:14,464 --> 00:13:16,165 It's Moe with wings! 218 00:13:16,199 --> 00:13:17,983 Moe Szyslak? 219 00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:20,702 Come on, he's much more hideous and evil than me! 220 00:13:22,088 --> 00:13:25,340 I brought this on us all. 221 00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:27,876 It began when I was a girl... 222 00:13:33,733 --> 00:13:35,300 Hail Satan. 223 00:13:35,335 --> 00:13:37,736 What are you doing? Trying to summon the devil. 224 00:13:37,770 --> 00:13:39,538 Why? Nothing good on TV. 225 00:13:39,572 --> 00:13:40,906 We have no boyfriends. 226 00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:42,808 We're bored. Something to do. 227 00:13:42,842 --> 00:13:45,978 Hail Satan, the Minister of Sinister, 228 00:13:46,012 --> 00:13:48,497 Rude Dude with a Bad 'Tude. 229 00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:53,936 Save us, Marge. 230 00:13:53,970 --> 00:13:56,371 We'll never make fun of any man you date or marry. 231 00:13:56,406 --> 00:13:58,440 Mmm. Uh, Mr. Demon? Mmm? 232 00:13:58,475 --> 00:14:01,026 Could you... come back for my sisters later? 233 00:14:02,412 --> 00:14:04,713 Very well. You have 30 years. 234 00:14:04,747 --> 00:14:06,248 But when I return, Marge, 235 00:14:06,282 --> 00:14:09,084 I shall take your favorite child. 236 00:14:09,118 --> 00:14:12,087 I thought I was the favorite! 237 00:14:12,121 --> 00:14:14,389 Not the favorite! Not the favorite! 238 00:14:14,424 --> 00:14:16,788 Listen, pal, you seem like an honest guy. 239 00:14:16,813 --> 00:14:17,593 Mm. 240 00:14:17,594 --> 00:14:21,063 Is there any other deal that you can accept? 241 00:14:21,097 --> 00:14:22,664 Three-way. 242 00:14:22,699 --> 00:14:24,600 Hmm. You, me and Marge? 243 00:14:24,634 --> 00:14:26,668 Mmm, demon, demon, you. 244 00:14:26,703 --> 00:14:30,772 I guess it's one of those things a dad has to do. 245 00:14:30,807 --> 00:14:32,941 Now, before we start, what's the safe word? 246 00:14:32,976 --> 00:14:34,243 Cinnamon. 247 00:14:34,277 --> 00:14:35,711 Ooh, I like that. 248 00:14:35,745 --> 00:14:38,413 Now, I'd like to try something new, if you don't mind. 249 00:14:38,448 --> 00:14:41,016 Cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon! Cinnamon! 250 00:14:48,444 --> 00:14:49,945 You know, it's really not fair. 251 00:14:49,979 --> 00:14:51,747 You're charging 200 bucks for a comic 252 00:14:51,781 --> 00:14:53,615 that says 25 cents on the cover. 253 00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:56,251 The only way to buy that comic book for 25 cents 254 00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:58,170 is to go back to 1974. 255 00:14:58,204 --> 00:14:59,805 That's impossible! 256 00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:01,006 Mmm? 257 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,108 Or is it? 258 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,317 Wow, it worked! 259 00:15:12,352 --> 00:15:13,919 My time machine has worked! 260 00:15:13,953 --> 00:15:17,122 This is the most fantastically powerful invention 261 00:15:17,156 --> 00:15:19,424 in mankind's history! 262 00:15:19,459 --> 00:15:20,626 Here, kid, hold my keys 263 00:15:20,660 --> 00:15:22,160 while I grab some lunch. 264 00:15:31,788 --> 00:15:33,789 ♪ ♪ 265 00:15:43,499 --> 00:15:45,734 1974! 266 00:15:45,752 --> 00:15:47,669 I won't be needing this! 267 00:15:55,428 --> 00:15:57,579 Now to get my comic book and explore a world 268 00:15:57,614 --> 00:15:59,565 where no one's mad at George Lucas. 269 00:16:01,734 --> 00:16:04,219 Eh, pretty good. A little preachy. 270 00:16:04,253 --> 00:16:06,438 Well, well, well, if it isn't Homer Simpson 271 00:16:06,472 --> 00:16:09,241 and Barney Gumble. Hmm? 272 00:16:09,275 --> 00:16:11,643 Allow me, gentlemen. 273 00:16:11,678 --> 00:16:14,079 It's Homer! Before his boobs came in! 274 00:16:20,637 --> 00:16:22,204 Hey, Homer. Who are you? 275 00:16:22,238 --> 00:16:24,106 I'm your unwanted son from the future 276 00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:25,707 who killed all your fun! 277 00:16:25,742 --> 00:16:28,243 Why, you little... 278 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:31,380 Excuse me. Is this room 106? 279 00:16:31,414 --> 00:16:35,133 (instrumental version of "Close to You" playing) 280 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:38,687 Let go of him! 281 00:16:38,721 --> 00:16:40,689 What kind of jerk strangles a little boy?! 282 00:16:40,723 --> 00:16:42,691 Would you go to the prom with me? 283 00:16:42,725 --> 00:16:44,760 Promenade? With you? 284 00:16:44,794 --> 00:16:46,995 Forget it, bub! 285 00:16:48,731 --> 00:16:51,300 It was love at first sight, and you ruined it! 286 00:16:51,334 --> 00:16:53,368 It was not love at first sight! 287 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:54,770 What do you know? 288 00:16:54,804 --> 00:16:56,288 I know who I'm in love with! 289 00:16:56,322 --> 00:16:58,056 You're looking at him. You're an idiot. 290 00:16:58,091 --> 00:16:59,908 You're the idiot! 291 00:16:59,942 --> 00:17:02,577 Don't act like I'm the first person that ever said that. 292 00:17:02,612 --> 00:17:05,080 You are the first person who ever said that! 293 00:17:05,114 --> 00:17:06,915 Shut up and go to the prom with me! 294 00:17:06,949 --> 00:17:08,800 Ay, caramba! If you guys don't get together, 295 00:17:08,835 --> 00:17:11,737 what does that mean for me in the future? 296 00:17:11,771 --> 00:17:15,557 I don't exist?! 297 00:17:15,591 --> 00:17:17,225 Or my life 298 00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:20,062 might be a hell of a lot better! 299 00:17:20,096 --> 00:17:23,065 Ma'am, whatever you do, do not marry that ape. 300 00:17:23,099 --> 00:17:25,901 Mmm. 301 00:17:25,935 --> 00:17:29,054 Whatever you say, little boy. 302 00:17:30,256 --> 00:17:31,406 Come here! 303 00:17:32,942 --> 00:17:35,310 Now, to return to a future where I'm either rich 304 00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,679 or allowed to stand in front of a rich guy's house. 305 00:17:37,714 --> 00:17:39,681 Either way, better than now. 306 00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:50,292 Stupid kid steals my future. 307 00:17:50,326 --> 00:17:51,643 Well, I'm going to... 308 00:17:51,678 --> 00:17:54,046 Ice cream with cookie dough?! 309 00:17:55,331 --> 00:17:57,833 Unnecessarily big TVs! 310 00:17:57,867 --> 00:18:00,268 Thursday Night Football? 311 00:18:00,303 --> 00:18:02,938 And the globe feels so warm! 312 00:18:02,972 --> 00:18:05,607 I am in awe of the future. 313 00:18:09,212 --> 00:18:11,213 Okay, that's not so great. 314 00:18:14,701 --> 00:18:16,518 Here's your smoothie, sweetheart. 315 00:18:16,552 --> 00:18:20,439 Why would I suck smoothie when I can suck face with you, 316 00:18:20,473 --> 00:18:22,441 Mrs. Artie Ziff? 317 00:18:25,995 --> 00:18:27,979 My dad is Artie Ziff? 318 00:18:28,014 --> 00:18:30,449 Indeed! Which makes you 319 00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:31,850 Barty Ziff. 320 00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:35,787 Oy, caramba! 321 00:18:35,822 --> 00:18:37,723 Achem! 322 00:18:37,757 --> 00:18:39,691 Good morning, beloved son. 323 00:18:39,726 --> 00:18:41,543 Enjoy your luxurious life, 324 00:18:41,577 --> 00:18:44,079 including your own bully butler. 325 00:18:44,113 --> 00:18:46,715 Will that be haw-haw, sir? 326 00:18:46,749 --> 00:18:47,966 Give yourself a wedgie. 327 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,002 Excellent choice. 328 00:18:51,037 --> 00:18:53,505 I've met some jive turkeys in the '70s, 329 00:18:53,539 --> 00:18:55,140 but that turkey's the jivest. 330 00:18:55,174 --> 00:18:57,242 Hey, you! This is my peeping tree. 331 00:18:57,276 --> 00:18:59,811 Young me? What brings you to the present? 332 00:18:59,846 --> 00:19:02,581 I traveled through space and time to make Marge settle for me 333 00:19:02,615 --> 00:19:04,015 because she doesn't know better. 334 00:19:04,050 --> 00:19:06,218 Well, if we put our heads together, 335 00:19:06,252 --> 00:19:07,853 we could think of a plan! 336 00:19:09,222 --> 00:19:11,823 I got to ask, what happened? 337 00:19:11,858 --> 00:19:14,359 Was I in a forest fire or something? 338 00:19:14,393 --> 00:19:16,695 No 339 00:19:17,897 --> 00:19:19,047 I love my life, I love it not. 340 00:19:19,081 --> 00:19:20,348 I love my life, I love it not. 341 00:19:20,383 --> 00:19:22,584 You're just like Indiana Jones, son. 342 00:19:22,618 --> 00:19:25,420 A role played by Richard Dreyfuss in our universe. 343 00:19:28,090 --> 00:19:29,858 I'm here to take my life back! 344 00:19:29,892 --> 00:19:32,093 I thought this might happen, 345 00:19:32,128 --> 00:19:35,964 so I mastered Brazilian jujitsu. 346 00:19:35,998 --> 00:19:38,517 Crawl atop me, and meet your doom! 347 00:19:38,568 --> 00:19:40,252 Not so fast. 348 00:19:40,286 --> 00:19:42,087 Say hello to the United Federation 349 00:19:42,121 --> 00:19:45,457 of Homers Through History. 350 00:19:47,443 --> 00:19:49,194 Crush them... 351 00:19:49,228 --> 00:19:51,463 in the name of Jebus! 352 00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,421 Okay, guys, let's regroup. 353 00:19:59,455 --> 00:20:00,789 We'll come back with more Homers 354 00:20:00,823 --> 00:20:02,157 and start fresh in the morning. 355 00:20:06,012 --> 00:20:08,763 ("Close to You" plays) 356 00:20:11,484 --> 00:20:14,286 Oh, what's she doing here? 357 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,754 I'll tell you what I'm doing. 358 00:20:15,788 --> 00:20:19,224 I'm realizing that I married the wrong man. 359 00:20:19,537 --> 00:20:23,657 Oh, you poor, sweet, simple Homers. 360 00:20:23,691 --> 00:20:26,493 I was supposed to be with all of you! 361 00:20:29,364 --> 00:20:31,331 Even you, Caveman Homer. 362 00:20:31,366 --> 00:20:32,566 That's Renaissance Homer. 363 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,434 Well, cardinal or cannibal, 364 00:20:34,469 --> 00:20:38,272 I wish that 20 years ago, I had chosen love. 365 00:20:38,306 --> 00:20:39,673 Mmm... 366 00:20:41,442 --> 00:20:42,826 Let me get this straight. 367 00:20:42,861 --> 00:20:45,896 None of you had time to take out the garbage? 368 00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:47,915 Make Egyptian Slave Homer do it. 369 00:20:47,949 --> 00:20:50,350 It's always me. 370 00:20:56,481 --> 00:21:00,481 == sync, corrected by elderman ==