They can't stop, this lot. Crap, crap, crap. Look at them.
Bob! Pipette. Ripped By mstoll
Pipette.
Perspective. He's got to understand life is not all clever chat
from men in Armani's what smell like women.
Life is also sucking up fish shit.
- Ron's the worst. - Ron?
- Big Ron. - Don't tell me, Ron as in Kray?
Ron as in Atkinson - fat and shiny.
Him and Michael, they're the worst.
- Michael? - Fish.
Scatology. When will boys ever get tired of it?
When bears stop going into the woods.
- Way above us, Bob. - Scat what?
When you hear a word ending in "ology", close down, be deaf. You won't get it.
I'm the only ology you need to worry about in your life.
Suck shit. Good boy.
♪ Don't you ever stop long enough to start?
♪ Get your car out of that gear
My name's Laura, I'm a mule from Bogota.
I swallow nine condoms full of coke and guess what?
- What? - It takes 16 hours.
16 long hours on a toilet at Leeds Bradford airport waiting for the glow-in-the-darks to drop.
- That's... - Colossal bowel control.
Four briefs, four Greens. Ps and Ds. First up ten o'clock.
Stop looking at my breasts!
Who are they for?
Billy, Rose, Wendy.
- Mr Hay. - Which for which?
Doesn't matter. Mix and match.
- 12-hour flight plus one hour Heathrow to here. - Plus 16 on the loo.
- 29 hours without a crap. - She's a coked-up with no crapping...
BOTH: Record breaker!
- Thomas, what are you doing? - Gravitas.
- Right. - The older the wig, the more you have.
My wig's too white, it lessens me.
Therefore I'm making it very yellow and very old.
- Tom? - Yes, Billy?
- Your underpants are showing. - They are very yellow and very old.
Why is Laura the mule picked up in Leeds?
Hello, darling. They put a tail on her at Heathrow.
She flies to Leeds Bradford, meets the co-defendant, a man called Friday.
- Wallop! Two for the price of one. - Who's representing the Co-d?
- Me. - Excellent.
Great.
It all seems a bit cut-throat to me.
Is the mule a mule or is she something much more?
Is the Co-d at the airport a low-level runner or is he something much bigger?
Who doesn't wear the trousers?
Have fun.
I'm going to open up a book. Bets on which of the two of you gets the lighter sentence.
Right, ã500 quid on Billy from Johnny Boy. 2 to 1.
ã1.50 on Rose from Wendy at evens.
(Overlapping conversations)
- Can I ask you something? - I love it when people say that.
- What do you think about my chances? - You're the lawyer.
You've got Wendy representing you. Wilson's a wanker. You'll win.
I hit him, though. The whole room saw it.
- He asked for it. - Justification isn't a defence.
- I'll get you the right judge. - Who would be the judge in an ideal world?
- I think you know the answer to that one. - Judge Martin.
Drink.
(Music from bar)
No defence is OK. We've just gotta hold our nerve and take it to the wire.
Because the nearer we get to trial
the more Wilson has to think about being exposed as a racist - he'll crack.
You think so?
He can destroy your career, but if he does he'll cripple his own.
We're relying on his cowardice, Billy. Believe me.
- The drugs case. - Yes?
- Billy and Rose. - Yes?
- And not me. - And not you.
Because?
Because I'm the busiest solicitor in Leeds and unless you can be eight courts at the same time
I need more than one brief in my life.
And Laura Gomez is a woman.
Are you suggesting I'm not the ideal brief for women clients, dearest Stevie?
You're not the ideal brief for women clients, dearest Alex.
I find that deeply offensive.
How much of your life do you spend with your tongue in your cheek?
About as much time as I spend with your tongue in my cheek.
You're a boy's brief at the end of the day.
Yeah, right. Fancy a shag?
OK, boys and girls.
Four briefs, four big crims.
Eyes closed, eyes closed.
Wait for it. Get me a drink, Billy. Go!
- Jimmy. - Jay.
Alan.
If mine's called Donny we're representing the Osmonds.
- Marie. - Yes!
Joke. Frank. Big Frank Green.
They're all Greens, they're all big. Enjoy.
- Tom. - Alex.
If you like, I was thinking, maybe, if you want...
♪ I could be your long-haired lover from Liverpool
♪ And I'll be your sunshine lady from LA
Not me then, Peter? I'm the odd one out.
- I'm going for a crap. - Thanks very much for telling us that.
Not him, then, Peter.
It's only a pleas and directions hearing. Doesn't matter who covers it.
But whoever does the P and Ds has a big foot in the door of the trial.
And if Billy was the paranoid type
he might think you're keeping him away from R versus the Green brothers
in case R versus Billy goes the wrong way and ends his career.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Go on, Peter. A nervous smile.
A lick of the lips.
Glance away. Look down.
You know you want to.
Ooh.
You'd be so good in the witness box.
- Why? - You lie without symptoms.
You're unique.
- Rose? - Yes?
I really appreciate your refreshingly honest approach in your dealings with me.
Triple espresso. Four sugars.
- Vital, is it? - Vital?
Three big shots and hit the ground humming.
Caffeine and good cross-examination.
Like foreplay and sex.
What else is vital, Billy...
...to good barristering?
A senior clerk who treats you as number one, that's what.
You come and work for me, and my boy Wilson won't be pressing charges.
I'll give you such good work
you can start the day with half a cup of tea and a grapefruit segment.
And still be humming at close of play.
Harold Flight, do you plead guilty or not guilty?
Not guilty.
Stuart Flight, do you plead guilty or not guilty?
Not guilty.
- Tonight - I don't know what to do. - What?
- Shall I invite Helen? - Do you want to?
- Well, she's, you know... - Family.
- But...
The great and gorgeous brief provider might not like it.
Personal versus professional. I could handle this if Billy wasn't so wired.
Wired? Who?
Was there something, Mr Hay?
I was telling my learned friend how much of a pleasure it is to appear in front of Your Honour.
I'm sure that goes for all of us from my chambers.
Thank you, Mr Hay.
Your oiliness is so unexpected.
So..."not guiltys" all round. Should be quite a party with so much talent about.
(Clears throat)
Talking of oiliness, here comes the whole of OPEC again.
May it please Your Honour, there is one issue I wanted to raise.
- It is rather delicate. - I'm good at delicate.
Spit it out, Mr Wilson.
It concerns counsel for Jay Green.
Wendy de Souza, she shouldn't be here.
Because?
It's come to my notice this fight with which we're concerned,
may have been witnessed, at least in part, by Miss de Souza.
I think as fellow members of the bar, Mr Wilson,
we can assume she would have told us if she had.
Don't you?
I don't ask rhetorical questions, Mr Wilson.
I'm sure Your Honour is right.
Right, ã50 each. Whoever gets the most lyrics from Sound Of Music into the trial wins.
- So, how's life at the old place? - Much happier without you lot.
- And a lot less interesting. - You er... could have come with us, you know.
Half my life is prosecuting. I don't think I would have fitted in culturally.
Maybe not.
- I was very good in there. - You were very good in there.
- Did I say anything? - Nothing at all.
It's all about gravitas. I didn't speak but I was a massive presence.
- What about tonight, Thomas? - Tonight?
- You've no problem about Helen coming along? - No, absolutely.
Not a problem.
- We could erm... - Yes, we could.
- That would be... - That would be.
- Bye, then. - So long. Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, goodbye.
Bye.
(Mimics) Bye!
- I'm not looking forward to tonight. - Why not?
They're your family. Barristers at play.
- So you're not going to come? - I'll come.
- Just don't try and suck me in. - Say that again.
- What? "Suck me in"? - Fantastic, fantastic.
- I've got a con. Bye. - Bye.
- Alex! - Coming.
- Your English is... - Good.
- Yes. - You look a bit disappointed.
Well...
It would make your job easier if I were poor, naive, oppressed.
You don't look like the average courier.
You're not poor, you're not naive, so... why?
They asked me to do it. I took the risk.
You risked your life. Condoms bust, stomach's full with white powder,
- people die. - Don't patronise me, please.
I was aware of the risk, I did it. That's all.
I don't want you to...
What?
- Don't want me to what? - Say nothing in court.
Just let them sentence me.
- You mind about this one. - The whole thing stinks.
Locking away a woman like that for years while fat cats stay clear of it.
- Is the co-defendant a fat cat? - He's a lot fatter than some would like to say.
- Some meaning Rose? - Some meaning Rose.
It would be a touch inconvenient, Billy,
if you were to manufacture a conflict between your client and Rose's.
I wouldn't manufacture anything.
Because you have one client each, so conflicts are not a problem.
Even barristers who live together are presumed to have separate professional heads.
I represent both and I get paid for representing both.
And you've only got professional head.
You see my problem.
And I'm sure you won't want to make it any more of a problem.
(TV on)
(Chopping)
David Friday.
- What about him? - He and I are old friends.
Three trials, big drugs. Three not guiltys.
- Innocent every time. - Of course.
- Fridge. Help yourself. - Thanks, Mum.
- Is Helen coming? - Yeah.
- Good. - Opener?
Top of the fridge.
Fridge. Help yourself.
Thanks, Mum.
(Mobile rings)
Hello?
Hi, Rose.
No, I'm still with my client. Yeah.
OK. Bye.
Oh.
What? Drink?
- Er... no, I've got to... - Get home?
Nah. Drink. On me, I insist.
People call me stuff.
Mover, fixer.
I've stopped listening. I tell you why.
- I'm everyone. - What?
We're all the same. We're all out there being boys.
- Boys? - Apart from housewives, we're all boys.
And all boys have a front and an underneath.
And the front is a smile and the underneath is the truth.
- What you really are. - Right.
Look at the top. Look at TB and the gleaming Cherie.
Never seen teeth like it. It's like a whole TV channel of their teeth.
Such a nice man out front with his teeth and his smiles and his... headers with Kevin Keegan.
But he closes the door just like everyone else.
He has long half-times with the cups of tea flying and no fucking smiling and the telly turned off.
TB, you, me, we're all the same, Billy. We're all boys.
And we've all got front and we've all got underneath.
Truth.
Apart from housewives.
Tell you what, though. Kids.
It's the only chance you get to be a bit...
To not...
- To not? - Yeah.
- To not? - Be a boy.
- To be a girl, in fact. - I go with that. I ain't afraid of that.
My boy, Rory, call me a dick if you want, but...
...I am.
A girl?
Yeah.
You're a dick and a girl. (Laughs)
- I've always wanted to say that. - Have you?
Have you, Billy?
Come on, we've gotta go - Rose and Billy's.
I like your... hair.
Oh, thank you. I like your hair too.
Look, why don't you... and then I'II?
- No. No. - What?
- Nothing.
- What, Tom? - You go on. I'll see you there.
OK.
Sorry, sorry, I'm being a bit...
- A bit, but it's OK. It's fine. - See you there. I'll be less... bleurgh.
...when I'm there.
You don't want to arrive with me?
It's just...
I don't suppose everyone's favourite solicitor will be quite so coy.
Come here.
I'm sorry.
Hair. Jesus.
(Door slams)
- Good con? - Yeah, ran on a bit.
She's innocent and vulnerable it was difficult to get away.
- If you like. - Innocent, vulnerable and exploited,
but with perfect English and a university education.
- I think my ã1.50's looking a very good bet. - Thank you, Wendy.
Yes, actually, exploited.
But she won't tell me how she's been exploited.
Which is frustrating for you.
- Cos you're pretty keen to find the big victim. - What?
Maybe she's not exploited. Maybe you're looking for it because you want to feel upset.
- Martha's here. She's with him. - (Baby crying)
- Too much. - Meaning?
You should be with him more.
Spending less time with the likes of Miss Gomez?
What's your bloke saying? What's your story?
Not now, Billy.
Why not? We're not looking after Daniel, we may as well work.
We're moving the drugs from you to the next man. We're nowhere, bottom rung of the ladder.
No, that's me, Rose. That's my rung.
We probably shouldn't talk about this now.
We'd do it in court, but we live together, so we may as well do it over gin and tonic.
What? What?
- Let's do it, Rose. Let's do the whole number. - What number?
Let's shut the hell up, we're cutting each other's throats,
and get in there and shout that 14 years is a ridiculously tariff for Laura Gomez
and deterrent is a bollocks argument,
because on the whole, your average coffee morning in Bogota
isn't paying much attention to His Honour Judge Pomp and Circumstance in Leeds Crown Court.
What are you on about, Billy? Are you mad?
Do you seriously think a judge is gonna sit there and listen to that pile of student politics,
and say, "You persuaded me to ignore precedent completely.
I'm happy to ditch the sentencing policy, put out of my mind the will of Parliament,
and I'm going to give a drugs mule a spot of community service."
Sandwich?
How long's it going to be?
Five minutes? Ten?
(Laughter)
- That's a true story. - To Daniel.
- Ah. ALL: To Daniel.
I'd legalise the lot. Class A, everything.
So would I if I didn't think it would put us out of work.
- 50% of crime - drugs related. - Easily.
- Nearly every non-domestic murder in Leeds. - Remember South Africa?
I remember not so long ago throwing eggs at the South African ambassador
and swearing never to buy South African goods as long as apartheid existed. Remember?
I'm not paying money to support racists.
Chilean wine. No, thanks, Mr Pinochet.
But we're all delighted to shove as much coke up our noses as we possibly can.
Supplied by vicious fuckers from Colombia,
who ram coke-filled condoms down the throats of hopeless women,
so that they can maybe die, maybe spend 14 years in an English prison,
or at best make it through for the payment of about 100 US dollars,
which is probably less than each of us can spend in one night snorting.
What's the difference? Who can tell me?
Pinochet, de Klerk, vicious drug barons.
When I was 15, Billy, I had a friend, George Worth.
He died. Bad heroin.
I was there.
I saw him die.
Wouldn't have happened if it had been legal because heroin wouldn't have been de rigueur
and even if he had taken it, it wouldn't have been crap and lethal.
15 years old.
Ooh.
You've told that story before.
What?
And once again - look - not a dry eye in the house.
Everyone, oh, so moved. You are moving, Alex, to yourself.
- Helen! - No, it's a lie.
Well, not the story, its use.
You tell it so you can become someone we ought to love.
Well, I'm not sure you deserve that.
- A little bitter, Helen. - I think that if you...
- Yes, Tom. - What?
- What does that mean? - What does what mean?
A touch on the arm.
"Hush, dear."
- Alex. - Rose.
- That's right, Alex. - You and Tom?
Hm. Me and Tom.
A touch on the arm.
A little possessory gesture from rebound man to bitter woman.
- Alex. - Yes, Tom?
(Front door slams)
- You all right? - I'm sorry.
(Front door slams)
(Exhales)
- Sorry. - Sorry?
It demeans you. We're meant to be angry with him.
- It was... - A terrible evening.
- Really terrible. - (Laughs)
What's happening?
- I'm not very sure. - No.
Did you... At dinner did you say Tom and me because Alex was there?
Or because... it might be true?
Because it might be true.
- I had a silk lined up for him. - A silk doing a cottaging case?
- He's a friend. - The silk?
The cottager.
Friend or friend friend?
Friend.
Ex-friend friend.
And the silk pulled out. The trial starts this morning.
- Who do you want? - Anyone who...
- Who do you want? - Tom Mitford?
(Number dialled)
Mr Mitford, change of plan. You're going cottaging.
(Exhales heavily)
- Breakfast meetings with the list officer. - He's having his back scratched.
- You're up bright and early, miss. - I wanted a word.
About Billy.
Duress.
Where one party threatens a second party
and that second party believes the threat to be real
and that they or a member of their family would be killed or injured if they...
- Stop it. - It's what the big boys do back home.
- Stop shouting at me. - I think that's you, Laura.
Duress. It's the only thing that makes sense.
I also think you're not telling me about it because you're scared.
If the co-defendant sits next to you in the dock
and hears me saying you're being squeezed hard
- he'll send word back to the squeezers. - Who's he?
- Hussein Ali. Pupil. Big legal brain. - Where's Stevie?
- Isn't the solicitor supposed to be here? - Just tell me, Laura!
I won't use it if you don't want me to, if you're scared.
But tell me and I can help you evaluate things, that's all.
Maybe there's something we can do you don't know about.
How old is she? Two? Three?
Could we have a word?
I don't want you talking to her without me. She doesn't need more talking to.
She's intelligent. She's making her own choices.
- Is she? - Yes.
The co-defendant. David Friday.
I should think amongst the Colombian women in here one or two know him.
- Find them, talk to them, get statements. - But that's not what Stevie...
- No, it's not! - Sure.
(Exhales)
Well, he's just lost it.
He's more uptight than he knows about his own trial and...
I'm only telling you this because I think if he does this Gomez case
he'll have a big pointless fight with the judge, he'll get his client more time inside than...
...if someone more balanced were doing it.
- All right? - Go away.
- What? - It's not morning yet. Piss off.
Or is it that you prefer someone softer?
Someone less fierce than the child of your father trying to cut your throat?
- Morning. - Night, sir.
- Top night, Rose, last night. - Just the man.
What? What?
I wanna place a bet. Three grand says Rose gets the lighter sentence.
Fine. Good. I've got the same on Billy.
But don't tell Billy you're betting against him.
- You are him. - Sorry?
You are Billy. Laura Gomez, condom lady. She's all yours.
My money says Rose creams you on sentence.
Rose?
Why am I saying yes to the Rose request?
Because I love and respect her greatly? Maybe.
Cos I care about Billy? Maybe.
Cos I give a fuck about the condom Doris from Bogota?
No.
Because, bottom line, Stevie Goode must not get the hump.
Because solicitors with the hump sit down on the cash flow
and the cash flow is the raison fucking d'Ãªtre of clerking.
End of lesson. Cup of tea, please. Morning, Bob.
- The drugs case is up tomorrow. - Leave it with me.
Don't make it look... when you tell Billy.
The man at the next urinal looked down at me and...
carried on looking down at me.
And was he wearing a stuck-on handle bar moustache?
And was the stuck-on handle bar from a dressing-up box at the local nick,
which was put together by a plod who read Armistead Maupin once upon a time?
You've done this before.
Mr Handle Bar has disappeared off the face of the earth with his Village People costume,
leaving you with the hand of the law feeling your collar.
Rather than other parts of me.
- Tomorrow. - Tomorrow?
He needs it over with.
He meaning Billy Guthrie.
It meaning his trial for punching Leo Wilson, QC.
Because it's playing on his nerves and dominating his perfect life.
That kind of thing.
Just like all my defendants.
But all your defendants don't have me on their side.
Leo Wilson. He's prosecuting your friend,
which is something I wouldn't want for any friend of mine.
Now if Billy's trial is listed for tomorrow all of a sudden,
then the biggest bastard prosecutor in town is no longer available
to prosecute chummy over there.
Because he's the main prosecution witness in Billy's trial.
- Pass me the loofah. - Loofah?
Back scratcher, Peter.
The hole that we've drilled in the wall of the caretaker's unit
gives a good view of the whole toilet area.
- And where was the defendant? - At the urinal closest to us.
- What was he doing? - He was looking at the man at the next urinal,
and masturbating at the same.
- Are you sure? - Sure.
(Shuffles papers)
"My observations provided a good, clear and unobstructed view of the subject and his penis."
- Those are my notes. - I am sorry.
I'm reading from your colleague's notebook.
Oh, look. You're right.
They're exactly the same. Now there's a thing.
The penis. Tell us about it.
- It appeared to be erect, sir. - Appeared to be?
- That's how it seemed. - Seemed?
Was.
Appeared, seemed, was. Which?
Was.
And yet you put appeared in your notebook.
I always put appeared.
It's something I always put.
Are you a philosopher, Officer?
- Do I appear to be questioning you? - Yes. No.
- You are. - And if you were writing up your notes
of what is happening here in court, you wouldn't put "he appeared to be questioning me."
- Is that a question? - Do you know, Officer, I'm not sure that it is.
Is it a question or is it more of an incredulous remark?
Mr Mitford, cross-examination now, speeches later.
- When's Laura Gomez in? - Tomorrow.
Will you get the notes of additional evidence for me?
- You're not doing it. - What?
Oh, no. No, no, you're not doing this.
That is my trial and that woman needs it to be me who does it.
We've got a relationship. You can't fuck around with people like her.
- She's fucked around already. It's not on! - You are otherwise engaged.
- What? - Tomorrow, sir, your trial,
Queen versus Billy Guthrie.
Oh, right. Shit. Right.
Sorry.
My observations provided me with a good, clear and unobstructed view
of the subject and his penis.
Were you and PC Werner looking through the peep hole at the same time?
No, sir. That would not be a feasible proposition.
Were you swapping over every few seconds? "My go, your go. My go, your go."
I don't believe we would have done that, sir.
Am I correct in thinking toilet duty is always volunteered for?
That's correct.
Length of penis.
Angle of penis.
Let's make it easier. Five inches? Six inches?
Seven or eight?
You can phone a friend.
What?
Or ask the audience.
I'd say about average.
Final answer?
We take it right to the wire, Billy. This isn't the wire.
Tomorrow, 10:29, door of the court, that's the wire.
- Who's prosecuting? - Steven Dare.
Well, let's phone him. Let's find out what he's thinking.
No. Wilson has got to be left to stew. We stay silent, we offer nothing.
- Trust me, Billy. - But he's vindictive.
He's the type to go through with it and he's not stupid.
He knows we don't have a real defence.
Why don't you go home, Billy? Be with Daniel.
It'll help.
(Daniel crying)
(Mobile ringtone)
Hello?
(Phone rings)
Hello?
What do you want to say to me, Billy?
My offer stands, Billy. Right up to the big deadline.
Come and work for me, Wilson drops it.
I've a lot of patience, Billy, but justice don't wait.
Tick-fucking-tock, eh, Bill?
- (Door opens) - Counting down the hours.
(Door closes)
- Who was that? - Just the list office.
Giving me the time for tomorrow.
Right. This is more difficult than we thought it would be.
- What, the trial? - The whole thing.
Working together, being awake half the night together.
- It's fine. - No, Billy.
It's all right. You can admit it.
It doesn't diminish us to admit that it's hard.
Anyway, there's the trial problem solved, eh?
I've become a housewife overnight.
Billy.
The world doesn't like lawyers. I'm not going to look like one.
No, judges like men in suits.
Do you think?
Men in suits don't hit other men in suits unless there's a very good reason.
Do you think?
Come here.
Be yourself.
Go in in your pairs. Look at the urinals, and remember the evidence you heard in court.
Go into the caretaker's unit, look through the peephole.
And remember, above all, not to discuss this case while we're here with each other,
or anyone else.
First time?
- Yes, actually. - I could do with a pee, actually.
- I'll erm... - No, no. It's fine. Pop in there.
Pssss-shooo!
(Tuts)
Length? No?
(Zips flies)
Clear and unobstructed view of the penis?
(Running water)
End of story, I should say.
Let me guess.
Representative of Mr Drugs Baron comes to see you and says,
"You don't look the type. How about it?"
He's keen on his mules not looking the type on account of them clearing immigration.
You're strong. You're answer is no.
Back comes the drugs rep the next day and says, "How about it?"
Only this time there's something else.
"If you say no, I'll kill your child."
- The other one told you. - Other one?
Barrister.
Billy, yes.
I'm pleading guilty, I don't want you to say anything.
Please.
Because if I do, Mr Drugs will have your daughter killed.
Please.
I'll see you upstairs.
I'm sure you're going to play this nice and quiet.
Nice and quiet? You know me.
- I'm glad it's Martin, the judge. - It's not.
What? Why?
- I asked them to give us a different judge. - What? When?
- This morning. - Why?
Nobody know this, Billy. He and I we're...
- What, you and he? - Yes.
- So, I thought... - Right. Proper conduct.
- Yeah. - Bloody hell, Wendy.
- David Friday. - I'm here to support Billy, sir.
Rose's taste client. Well connected.
Somewhere decent in the drugs hierarchy.
Friends with lots of Stevie's other tasty clients or am I getting ahead of myself?
- How would I know? - You made her into my girlfriend.
Which wasn't too much of an effort for you.
Two-line whip, you and Stevie.
It says, "Don't rock the boat on behalf of poor Laura Gomez if it will upset Friday
because Friday is a man of significance.
Someone who knows men of serious significance." Right or wrong?
I'm going to wish your best friend good luck.
I can't not fight my corner, it's what I do. I fight.
And I've got three grand on it.
She's being done over in the worst possible way.
- What I am supposed to do? - It's her child they're threatening.
She's not my client, she's yours.
I've got my own client and I'll do the best by him as you'll do the best by Miss Gomez.
- It's not just. - It's the system.
- How's Billy? - Terrible. He looks just terrible.
What are you smirking at?
Our prosecutor.
- Time? - 10:22.
- And happiness is overrated, anyway. - What?
Our chambers without you in it.
- Happier, but less interesting. - Yes.
- We should... - Yes, we should.
I've just got to... Could you er...
(Low moaning)
Ahh!
Sssh!
(Muffled squeals)
(Both moan)
10:27. We're all going to the wire. It's all down to who can hold their nerve.
- Where are you going? - There's something I do before a big case.
- What? - Apply big, loud, very red lipstick.
Good luck, mate. You'll be fine.
I hear you bet on me against Rose.
And now you are me. My best friend pretending to be me versus the love of my life.
Who do you fancy?
Alex.
- These might help. - What are they?
Witness statements of some of the women who know Rose's client.
Use them if you're big enough to upset Stevie.
- I fancy you. - I fancy you too.
- Hello, Billy. - I can't. It's too much what you're asking.
Have you come in here to have a piss or not?
I can't come to work for you.
Someone told me something recently.
And it sounds right from where I'm standing.
But I'd love to know for sure.
What?
Wendy de Souza and Judge Martin - an item.
Let's make it easy for you, Billy.
If my someone is right about the something...
and you turn around now and wash your hands, no words, that'll do me.
- How do I look? - Great. You look really great.
- You haven't dried your hands. - Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
My client has no previous. There's nothing in his phone book, address book or...
- Tonight. Mine. - Great.
...to suggest he's anything other than a runner.
Perhaps it's worth noting that the co-defendant Miss Gomez is bilingual and educated,
hardly a typical drugs mule.
Everything points to my client being low on the hierarchy.
And I'd ask Your Honour to reflect this in your sentencing.
Those are my submissions.
JUDGE: Mr Hay?
My learned friend is very noisy on which of us is the smaller player.
Rather than adding to the noise myself
I'm happy to rely on Your Honour's sound judgment and on the Crown
in deciding this issue.
Miss Image.
The Crown is of the view that is possible to differentiate
as between these two defendants and their roles.
The Crown's view, which we have reached by a route I don't feel able,
for reasons of tact and decorum, to outline in open court,
is that Miss Gomez is only a mule.
Nothing more.
Miss Fitzgerald's client is some way above her in the pecking order.
(Buzz of chatter)
ALEX: Six years, out in four. Brilliant result. Brilliant.
Maybe you're not such a boy's brief after all. Lucky, though.
PA: All parties in the case of Guthrie to Court One, please.
All parties in Guthrie to Court One.
Your Honour, something has... happened in this case.
Something which changes its complexion completely.
The main prosecution witness Leo Wilson QC,
has come to the view he no longer wishes to give evidence incriminating the defendant.
In those circumstances we do not feel we should attempt to proceed against Mr Guthrie.
The Crown will offer no evidence.
I direct that a verdict of "not guilty" be entered, Mr Guthrie.
You're free to go.
Don't ever do that again.
We held our nerve. We held our bloody nerve.
Yeah.
Should have had him in the court with you. Yeah, why not?
- No! Alex. - See his daddy nearly go down.
(Laughter)
Er... there's a problem tonight.
Is it a problem that might go away sometime in the future?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
(Low chatter)
Ron's dead. He's had his last crap.
Fish him out, Bob. And, Bob, do it right.
I mean, not the toilet, don't flush him away.
I don't want to meet dead Ron in the sea in Marbella in August.
- Where shall I put him? - Bury him, Bob.
Bury Big Ron.
- Hello, bastard. - Hello, lovely.
How did you get Miss Shiny to back your woman against my bloke?
- Shagged her in the toilets. - (Chuckles) Very funny. Very funny.
- Oh, my God, you really are... - I really am.
(Rose laughs)
What are you thinking?
Wilson dropped it a bit easy.
What do you mean?
He's a wanker, Marlowe, but he taught me everything I know.
- What would you have done if you were him? - I'd have made us pay.
For Wilson dropping it against Billy.
And we haven't paid.
(Music over dialogue)
(Laughter and chatter)
Night, sir. Sleep well.
Oh, look!
Rose...
Big Ron. He's my raison d'Ãªtre.
- Dead and buried. - Yeah.
Breaks your heart - a thing like that. Ripped By mstoll