1
00:00:02,398 --> 00:00:04,065
WOLOWITZ:
Hey, Bernie.
2
00:00:04,067 --> 00:00:06,951
Hey, how's my little
astronautie hottie?
3
00:00:06,953 --> 00:00:08,386
Okay, I guess.
4
00:00:08,388 --> 00:00:11,122
It's just,
being cooped up in this...
5
00:00:11,124 --> 00:00:13,541
tin can for weeks on end
is starting to get to me.
6
00:00:13,543 --> 00:00:15,210
Well, hang in there.
You just have a couple more
7
00:00:15,212 --> 00:00:16,561
days to go,
and then you'll be home.
8
00:00:16,563 --> 00:00:18,947
I know.
9
00:00:18,949 --> 00:00:20,031
I got to get back to work.
10
00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:21,032
I love you.
11
00:00:21,034 --> 00:00:22,033
Love you too.
12
00:00:22,035 --> 00:00:23,134
Hey, Bernie?
13
00:00:23,136 --> 00:00:27,088
Before you go, can you
do something for me?
14
00:00:27,090 --> 00:00:28,540
What do you want me to do?
15
00:00:28,542 --> 00:00:31,226
Okay, here it is.
16
00:00:31,228 --> 00:00:34,545
I really miss gravity.
17
00:00:34,547 --> 00:00:39,351
Can you drop something
so I can watch it fall?
18
00:00:40,836 --> 00:00:43,221
Really, you're serious?
19
00:00:46,308 --> 00:00:49,978
Okay.
20
00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:53,865
Oh, baby, you're killing me.
21
00:00:56,018 --> 00:00:57,735
Ugh.
22
00:00:57,737 --> 00:00:58,703
Hey, Sheldon?
23
00:00:58,705 --> 00:01:00,004
Hi. This came
for you today.
24
00:01:00,006 --> 00:01:00,955
It's from your mom.
25
00:01:00,957 --> 00:01:02,424
Oh!
26
00:01:02,426 --> 00:01:04,175
Thank you, Penny.
Mm-hmm.
27
00:01:04,177 --> 00:01:06,044
Yeah, w... here.
28
00:01:08,314 --> 00:01:10,014
For your troubles.
29
00:01:10,016 --> 00:01:13,218
Oh, boy, a whole dollar.
30
00:01:13,220 --> 00:01:15,186
Now, I can quit my paper route.
31
00:01:16,472 --> 00:01:17,839
So, what's in it?
32
00:01:17,841 --> 00:01:19,124
Mmm, doesn't matter.
33
00:01:19,126 --> 00:01:22,026
Half the time, he just ends up
playing with the box.
34
00:01:22,028 --> 00:01:25,596
Yeah, it's journals and research
papers I wrote as a child.
35
00:01:25,598 --> 00:01:27,949
Aw, how cute.
36
00:01:27,951 --> 00:01:29,300
Is this like a diary?
37
00:01:29,302 --> 00:01:32,053
No, that's my
potty training journal.
38
00:01:32,055 --> 00:01:34,489
Really, your
potty training journal?
39
00:01:34,491 --> 00:01:35,540
Yeah.
40
00:01:35,542 --> 00:01:37,242
And forgive my crude penmanship.
41
00:01:37,244 --> 00:01:39,777
I didn't start typing
until I was six.
42
00:01:42,047 --> 00:01:45,383
"August 7, 8:42 a.m.
This is humiliating.
43
00:01:45,385 --> 00:01:46,951
What was wrong with diapers?"
44
00:01:46,953 --> 00:01:48,970
(giggles)
45
00:01:48,972 --> 00:01:51,055
There are some charts
in the back
46
00:01:51,057 --> 00:01:52,724
where I kept track
of shape, color
47
00:01:52,726 --> 00:01:54,959
and consistency.
Oh!
48
00:01:55,711 --> 00:01:57,479
Disgusting.
49
00:01:57,481 --> 00:02:01,299
No, what's disgusting
is he's still keeping track.
50
00:02:02,101 --> 00:02:03,518
Why do you need
all this stuff...?
51
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:04,652
No, no, no, no...
Sorry!
52
00:02:04,654 --> 00:02:05,904
I am glad you asked.
53
00:02:05,906 --> 00:02:07,021
Oh!
54
00:02:07,023 --> 00:02:10,358
Yeah, are you familiar
with the Higgs boson?
55
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:13,328
Of course, it is...
it's been in the news.
56
00:02:13,330 --> 00:02:16,281
And it's a very famous boson.
57
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:18,700
Nice try.
58
00:02:18,702 --> 00:02:21,369
Now, in 1964, Dr. Peter Higgs,
59
00:02:21,371 --> 00:02:23,371
accomplished self-promoter
and physicist,
60
00:02:23,373 --> 00:02:26,291
he wrote a paper
postulating the existence
61
00:02:26,293 --> 00:02:28,826
of a subatomic particle
called the Higgs boson.
62
00:02:28,828 --> 00:02:30,261
Now, initially,
63
00:02:30,263 --> 00:02:34,132
the paper was rejected, but
recently, he was proven right.
64
00:02:34,134 --> 00:02:36,851
And now he's on the fast
track to win a Nobel prize.
65
00:02:36,853 --> 00:02:40,021
Yeah, that's basically what I said.
Yeah...
66
00:02:40,023 --> 00:02:44,675
The point is Higgs
is being celebrated for work
67
00:02:44,677 --> 00:02:46,644
he did 50 years ago, so that
68
00:02:46,646 --> 00:02:49,013
got me thinking,
perhaps I've already hit
69
00:02:49,015 --> 00:02:52,033
upon the idea
that will win me my Nobel prize.
70
00:02:52,035 --> 00:02:53,985
I didn't know
they gave Nobel prizes
71
00:02:53,987 --> 00:02:56,187
for making boom-boom
in the potty.
72
00:02:57,373 --> 00:02:59,023
You really think
73
00:02:59,025 --> 00:03:01,960
there's some kind
of scientific discovery in here?
74
00:03:01,962 --> 00:03:04,462
Well, this box only covers
my work through nursery school.
75
00:03:04,464 --> 00:03:06,080
There's a good deal
more to come.
76
00:03:06,082 --> 00:03:09,200
I didn't really hit my academic
stride until I cut out
77
00:03:09,202 --> 00:03:11,886
that time-suck
known as "playing outdoors."
78
00:03:11,888 --> 00:03:13,838
LEONARD:
So, you're going to spend
79
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,540
hours and hours combing
through all this stuff?
80
00:03:15,542 --> 00:03:17,675
(gasps) That's a good point.
81
00:03:17,677 --> 00:03:19,594
My time is much too valuable.
82
00:03:19,596 --> 00:03:22,096
You know, perhaps I should
find someone to do it for me.
83
00:03:22,098 --> 00:03:23,815
You know, someone with
a rudimentary understanding
84
00:03:23,817 --> 00:03:28,069
of science, but whose real
talents lie in menial labor.
85
00:03:32,791 --> 00:03:34,692
Not gonna happen.
86
00:03:34,694 --> 00:03:37,111
Yeah, well, if I didn't
think you could handle it,
87
00:03:37,113 --> 00:03:38,496
I wouldn't be asking.
88
00:03:38,498 --> 00:03:41,399
If you want help,
just hire a grad student.
89
00:03:41,401 --> 00:03:42,567
Maybe I could do it.
90
00:03:42,569 --> 00:03:45,253
You, really?
91
00:03:45,255 --> 00:03:48,006
You can assess
the quality of my work?
92
00:03:48,008 --> 00:03:49,507
Okay, um, here.
93
00:03:49,509 --> 00:03:51,626
I wrote this
when I was five years old.
94
00:03:51,628 --> 00:03:56,080
"A proof that algebraic topology
can never have a non-self
95
00:03:56,082 --> 00:03:59,183
contradictory set
of abelian groups."
96
00:04:03,122 --> 00:04:06,090
I'm just a blonde monkey
to you, aren't I?
97
00:04:10,312 --> 00:04:12,730
You said it, not me.
98
00:04:12,732 --> 00:04:16,401
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
99
00:04:16,403 --> 00:04:19,988
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
100
00:04:19,990 --> 00:04:21,539
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
101
00:04:21,541 --> 00:04:24,158
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
102
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,311
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
103
00:04:26,313 --> 00:04:29,113
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
104
00:04:29,115 --> 00:04:31,232
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
105
00:04:31,234 --> 00:04:32,108
♪ Bang! ♪
106
00:04:32,109 --> 00:04:36,109
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x03 ♪
The Higgs Boson Observation
Original Air Date on October 11, 2012
107
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:40,110
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
108
00:04:41,807 --> 00:04:44,809
All right, Ms. Jenson.
109
00:04:44,811 --> 00:04:47,645
Uh, before we begin,
may I offer you a refreshment?
110
00:04:47,647 --> 00:04:49,981
Water, coffee, tea,
111
00:04:49,983 --> 00:04:52,150
a marijuana cigarette?
112
00:04:53,019 --> 00:04:54,469
No, thanks. I'm fine.
113
00:04:54,471 --> 00:04:56,004
Now, are you sure?
114
00:04:56,006 --> 00:04:59,107
Everyone's smoking them.
115
00:04:59,109 --> 00:05:01,543
I think they're the best.
116
00:05:01,545 --> 00:05:02,928
I don't do drugs.
117
00:05:02,930 --> 00:05:04,546
Excellent, yeah.
118
00:05:04,548 --> 00:05:05,830
That was a ruse.
119
00:05:05,832 --> 00:05:07,332
They're not the best.
120
00:05:07,334 --> 00:05:09,167
Physics is the best.
121
00:05:09,169 --> 00:05:10,502
And by the way,
122
00:05:10,504 --> 00:05:13,004
coffee was also
an unacceptable choice.
123
00:05:13,006 --> 00:05:16,725
All right, so I see here
you're from Des Moines, Iowa.
124
00:05:16,727 --> 00:05:19,311
Uh, you're summa cum laude
in theoretical physics
125
00:05:19,313 --> 00:05:20,679
from Stanford University.
126
00:05:20,681 --> 00:05:25,684
Oh, and two years ago, you had
a persistent ear infection.
127
00:05:25,686 --> 00:05:27,953
I hope that didn't
cause any hearing loss.
128
00:05:27,955 --> 00:05:29,754
No, of course not.
129
00:05:29,756 --> 00:05:31,239
How did you know about that?
130
00:05:31,241 --> 00:05:33,908
I did a comprehensive
background check.
131
00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:37,629
Medical records, credit reports,
criminal history.
132
00:05:37,631 --> 00:05:40,615
(muffled): I trust you paid off
those parking tickets.
133
00:05:40,617 --> 00:05:42,033
Yes, I did.
134
00:05:42,035 --> 00:05:45,203
Hearing unimpaired, good.
135
00:05:45,205 --> 00:05:48,139
Look, Dr. Cooper,
I really want this position.
136
00:05:48,141 --> 00:05:50,008
It would be
an incredible honor to work
137
00:05:50,010 --> 00:05:51,593
for a man of your brilliance.
138
00:05:51,595 --> 00:05:55,213
Flattery will not get you
this job, Ms. Jenson.
139
00:05:55,215 --> 00:05:57,682
It's not flattery
if it's the truth.
140
00:05:57,684 --> 00:06:00,018
Oh, well, thank you.
141
00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:01,486
Welcome aboard.
142
00:06:03,139 --> 00:06:05,023
You talk to Howard lately?
143
00:06:05,025 --> 00:06:06,107
Uh, yeah, last night.
144
00:06:06,109 --> 00:06:09,494
He kept making me
drop pencils for him.
145
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,415
I got uncomfortable.
146
00:06:13,417 --> 00:06:14,732
Hey, Sheldon,
hope you're hungry.
147
00:06:14,734 --> 00:06:16,618
They're serving
macaroni and...
148
00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:19,120
(voice deepens):
cheese.
149
00:06:21,307 --> 00:06:23,508
(mocking):
Smooth.
150
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:26,845
Hi.
151
00:06:26,847 --> 00:06:27,929
Hello.
152
00:06:27,931 --> 00:06:29,681
Sheldon, aren't you
going to introduce us?
153
00:06:29,683 --> 00:06:31,800
No. I have people
for that now.
154
00:06:31,802 --> 00:06:33,468
You're up.
155
00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:35,586
I'm Alex,
Dr. Cooper's new assistant.
156
00:06:35,588 --> 00:06:38,256
Ah, congratulations and may God
have mercy on your soul.
157
00:06:39,925 --> 00:06:41,259
I'm Leonard. This is Raj.
158
00:06:41,261 --> 00:06:42,560
It's nice to meet you.
159
00:06:42,562 --> 00:06:44,112
I'm so excited
to be working with Dr...
160
00:06:44,114 --> 00:06:45,113
Yeah, please reserve
161
00:06:45,115 --> 00:06:47,065
chitchat for your breaks,
Ms. Jenson.
162
00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:49,984
Yeah, FYI,
there will be no breaks.
163
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,239
I should probably get to work.
164
00:06:56,158 --> 00:06:57,325
She seems nice.
165
00:06:57,327 --> 00:06:58,576
Hey, you already
got a girlfriend.
166
00:06:58,578 --> 00:07:00,278
I call dibs.
167
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,064
All I said was,
"She seems nice."
168
00:07:03,066 --> 00:07:04,949
Yeah, well, I love her.
169
00:07:08,687 --> 00:07:10,889
(phone rings)
170
00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:14,826
Hey, I wasn't expecting
to hear from you today.
171
00:07:14,828 --> 00:07:16,010
Everything okay?
172
00:07:16,012 --> 00:07:18,730
Uh, no, not really.
173
00:07:19,882 --> 00:07:21,533
What's wrong?
174
00:07:21,535 --> 00:07:23,435
Well, remember the...
Soyuz capsule
175
00:07:23,437 --> 00:07:25,253
they were sending
to bring us home?
176
00:07:25,255 --> 00:07:26,221
Uh-huh.
177
00:07:26,223 --> 00:07:27,489
It's delayed.
178
00:07:27,491 --> 00:07:29,307
We're gonna be here
at least another week.
179
00:07:29,309 --> 00:07:30,608
Maybe ten days.
180
00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:33,411
It's the Russians,
so you don't know.
181
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:38,700
They left dogs up here
in the '60s.
182
00:07:40,653 --> 00:07:42,203
Come on, Howard.
183
00:07:42,205 --> 00:07:44,289
No one's leaving you up there.
184
00:07:44,291 --> 00:07:46,541
I don't know how much longer
I can take this.
185
00:07:46,543 --> 00:07:50,428
I can't sleep, and zero gravity
is giving me crazy acid reflux.
186
00:07:50,430 --> 00:07:51,463
(inhales)
187
00:07:51,465 --> 00:07:54,215
I'm down to my last three Tums.
188
00:07:55,501 --> 00:07:57,302
You're going to be fine.
189
00:07:57,304 --> 00:07:59,938
You survived that Weight
Watchers cruise with your mom.
190
00:08:01,624 --> 00:08:04,809
And they ran out
of low-fat ice cream on day two.
191
00:08:06,245 --> 00:08:09,347
Just calm down and take
a few deep breaths.
192
00:08:09,349 --> 00:08:10,815
Okay, okay.
193
00:08:10,817 --> 00:08:14,035
(breathing deeply)
194
00:08:14,037 --> 00:08:17,322
What am I doing?
I'm using up all the oxygen.
195
00:08:20,743 --> 00:08:25,113
If I die, promise you'll never
have sex with another man.
196
00:08:30,319 --> 00:08:32,921
Oh, yeah.
197
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,642
I'm a man-eater now.
198
00:08:37,644 --> 00:08:41,763
Okay, for the final touch,
this is an eyelash curler.
199
00:08:41,765 --> 00:08:45,517
You just place it on your lashes
and squeeze it closed.
200
00:08:45,519 --> 00:08:48,069
Oh, I don't know.
201
00:08:48,071 --> 00:08:50,855
Looks like something used
by Tinker Bell's gynecologist.
202
00:08:53,859 --> 00:08:57,061
Who I hope for her sake
is not Captain Hook, so...
203
00:09:02,067 --> 00:09:03,201
Who are you calling?
204
00:09:03,203 --> 00:09:04,669
I'm going to
video-chat Sheldon.
205
00:09:04,671 --> 00:09:05,587
Mmm.
206
00:09:05,589 --> 00:09:07,038
If my new look
leads to phone sex,
207
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,157
I'm going to have to ask you
to leave the room.
208
00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:12,827
ALEX:
Dr. Cooper's office.
209
00:09:12,829 --> 00:09:14,762
Oh, hello. Who are you?
210
00:09:14,764 --> 00:09:17,031
I'm Alex,
Dr. Cooper's assistant.
211
00:09:17,033 --> 00:09:17,999
Can I help you?
212
00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:19,450
I'd like to speak to Sheldon.
213
00:09:19,452 --> 00:09:21,953
I'm sorry. He's asked me
to hold all calls
214
00:09:21,955 --> 00:09:24,255
unless you're Stephen Hawking,
his mother
215
00:09:24,257 --> 00:09:26,591
or himself from the future.
216
00:09:27,426 --> 00:09:28,693
All right.
217
00:09:28,695 --> 00:09:30,528
Well, tell him Amy called.
Last name?
218
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:31,929
He knows my last name.
219
00:09:31,931 --> 00:09:33,598
I'm his girlfriend.
220
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,533
We have a contract
and everything.
221
00:09:35,535 --> 00:09:37,785
I'll send you a PDF.
222
00:09:38,654 --> 00:09:41,539
All right, I will
tell him you called.
223
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,660
Hmm, that's weird.
What?
224
00:09:45,662 --> 00:09:49,113
Sheldon told me he had
a new assistant named Alex.
225
00:09:49,115 --> 00:09:51,366
He didn't mention
that Alex was a girl.
226
00:09:51,368 --> 00:09:53,868
Maybe he didn't notice.
227
00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:55,136
You're right.
228
00:09:55,138 --> 00:09:56,754
I don't have to worry
about Sheldon.
229
00:09:56,756 --> 00:09:59,474
(laughing):
No, you do not.
230
00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:03,328
It's her I have to worry about.
231
00:10:03,330 --> 00:10:04,846
Oh, Amy, really?
232
00:10:04,848 --> 00:10:06,881
She is not going to come on
to Sheldon.
233
00:10:06,883 --> 00:10:08,266
Oh, really?
234
00:10:08,268 --> 00:10:10,685
Look at this face.
235
00:10:13,055 --> 00:10:15,573
How can any woman
spend eight hours a day
236
00:10:15,575 --> 00:10:19,060
alone with this face
and not fall in love with it?
237
00:10:19,062 --> 00:10:21,062
Well, for starters,
238
00:10:21,064 --> 00:10:24,198
at some point,
that face starts talking.
239
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,006
Amy, this is crazy.
240
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,874
You have nothing
to be suspicious about.
241
00:10:35,876 --> 00:10:37,092
I'm not suspicious.
242
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:39,545
I just want to stop in,
say hi to my boyfriend
243
00:10:39,547 --> 00:10:40,963
and meet his new assistant.
244
00:10:40,965 --> 00:10:43,932
Aha!
245
00:10:47,420 --> 00:10:48,837
Can we go now?
246
00:10:48,839 --> 00:10:50,005
Hang on.
247
00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:57,913
What are you doing?
248
00:10:57,915 --> 00:10:59,448
Isn't it obvious?
249
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,818
I'm spreading my scent
to mark my territory.
250
00:11:04,070 --> 00:11:07,239
Come on, Amy.
That is not gonna work.
251
00:11:07,241 --> 00:11:10,409
Really? Because just before you
became my best friend,
252
00:11:10,411 --> 00:11:13,412
I did this
all over your apartment.
253
00:11:18,051 --> 00:11:20,452
Has your, uh, assistant
said anything about me?
254
00:11:20,454 --> 00:11:22,170
In fact, she has.
255
00:11:22,172 --> 00:11:26,608
Uh, her exact words were,
"What is that guy's problem?"
256
00:11:27,427 --> 00:11:30,762
I'm in her head.
Let the dance begin.
257
00:11:33,466 --> 00:11:35,484
Here's your frozen yogurt,
Dr. Cooper.
258
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:36,818
This should be fun.
259
00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:38,553
Half chocolate,
half vanilla,
260
00:11:38,555 --> 00:11:40,439
side by side, not swirled?
Yes.
261
00:11:40,441 --> 00:11:42,407
Half a teaspoon of sprinkles?
Rainbow, not chocolate.
262
00:11:42,409 --> 00:11:44,226
Two cherries?
One on top, one on the bottom.
263
00:11:44,228 --> 00:11:46,194
Stems removed?
Um...
264
00:11:46,196 --> 00:11:47,412
top one, yes.
265
00:11:47,414 --> 00:11:49,097
I didn't check the one
on the bottom.
266
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:51,199
Oh...!
267
00:11:52,902 --> 00:11:54,820
I'm so sorry, Dr. Cooper.
268
00:11:54,822 --> 00:11:56,171
It's all right, Alex.
269
00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:58,974
I'm not mad at you;
I'm just disappointed.
270
00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:02,361
Wait, Alex.
Do you want to join us?
271
00:12:02,363 --> 00:12:03,378
Um...
272
00:12:03,380 --> 00:12:04,713
Uh, Alex, a moment.
273
00:12:04,715 --> 00:12:07,749
I need a word with
Dr. Hofstadter.
274
00:12:09,836 --> 00:12:11,186
Do you think it's appropriate
275
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,722
for her to sit with us,
given her station?
276
00:12:14,707 --> 00:12:16,892
Given her what?
277
00:12:16,894 --> 00:12:20,145
If I've learned anything from
British television shows on PBS,
278
00:12:20,147 --> 00:12:24,983
it's that servants dine
downstairs with their own kind.
279
00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:27,769
What?
280
00:12:27,771 --> 00:12:30,271
It's a kindness, Leonard.
281
00:12:30,273 --> 00:12:33,041
Otherwise, you're cruelly
tempting them with a glimpse
282
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:36,411
of a world that's just beyond
their soot-stained fingertips.
283
00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:39,447
Oh, sure.
284
00:12:39,449 --> 00:12:40,782
Please join us.
285
00:12:40,784 --> 00:12:44,169
Oh, okay. Thank you.
286
00:12:44,171 --> 00:12:45,971
So, Alex, what's the topic
of your dissertation?
287
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,006
I'm looking
for Trojan asteroids
288
00:12:48,008 --> 00:12:49,574
at Earth's L-Five
Lagrange point.
289
00:12:49,576 --> 00:12:51,593
Oh, that happens to be
290
00:12:51,595 --> 00:12:53,729
Dr. Koothrappali's
field of expertise.
291
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:56,431
You two have a lot
to talk about.
292
00:12:58,184 --> 00:12:59,952
Is that true?
293
00:13:11,247 --> 00:13:12,647
Is he all right?
294
00:13:12,649 --> 00:13:14,866
No.
295
00:13:17,737 --> 00:13:22,507
But compared to your boss,
he's the poster boy for sanity.
296
00:13:22,509 --> 00:13:25,160
It's okay, I've been around
scientists all my life.
297
00:13:25,162 --> 00:13:26,878
My dad's an astronomer at SETI.
298
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:30,349
Oh, SETI-- the Search for
Extraterrestrial Intelligence.
299
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:33,051
You should introduce him
to Sheldon. The search is over.
300
00:13:33,053 --> 00:13:36,337
So, what kind of research
are you doing?
301
00:13:36,339 --> 00:13:37,589
High-energy lasers.
302
00:13:37,591 --> 00:13:38,774
Ooh. Military?
303
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,776
Not yet, but I can remove
unwanted hair
304
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,343
from two miles away.
305
00:13:42,345 --> 00:13:44,345
(both chuckle)
306
00:13:44,347 --> 00:13:45,313
You were right.
307
00:13:45,315 --> 00:13:46,848
I had nothing
to worry about.
308
00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:49,051
That skank's your
problem, not mine.
309
00:13:49,886 --> 00:13:52,353
You're very funny,
Dr. Hofstadter.
310
00:13:52,355 --> 00:13:53,288
LEONARD:
Thank you.
311
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,857
Aah! Cherry stem!
Cherry stem!
312
00:13:55,859 --> 00:13:57,976
(coughing, gagging)
313
00:13:59,078 --> 00:14:02,264
How you doing, Howie?
You feeling a little better?
314
00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:06,852
Oh, a lot better, thanks.
One sec.
315
00:14:07,870 --> 00:14:10,922
Listen close.
I don't have a lot of time.
316
00:14:10,924 --> 00:14:12,224
I need you to go to my house.
317
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,559
In my bedroom, you'll find
a model rocket.
318
00:14:14,561 --> 00:14:17,479
I want you to take it
and bring it back to your place.
319
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,114
Okay...
320
00:14:19,116 --> 00:14:22,350
Step two: Build a version
roughly 14 stories high.
321
00:14:23,436 --> 00:14:25,687
Fill it full of rocket fuel
and come get me.
322
00:14:25,689 --> 00:14:28,056
(whispers):
I'll leave the door unlocked.
323
00:14:30,893 --> 00:14:32,894
Howie, honey, maybe you should
talk to someone,
324
00:14:32,896 --> 00:14:35,197
let them know you're having
a little anxiety.
325
00:14:35,199 --> 00:14:36,998
No, no, I'm fine.
326
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,000
No anxiety!
327
00:14:39,002 --> 00:14:41,069
(quietly):
We should probably talk in code.
328
00:14:41,071 --> 00:14:43,738
From now on, "frog" is me,
"sandwich" means you
329
00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:46,341
and "lemon" means rocket.
So, come on, sandwich,
330
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:49,711
build me a lemon 'cause froggy
wants to come home!
331
00:14:54,917 --> 00:14:58,887
Look at you,
putting on a brave face.
332
00:14:58,889 --> 00:15:01,256
There's nothing
to be brave about.
333
00:15:01,258 --> 00:15:02,524
Everything's fine.
334
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,142
Really?
335
00:15:04,144 --> 00:15:06,528
I don't know how much you know
about primate behavior,
336
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,864
but Sheldon's assistant
was clearly courting Leonard.
337
00:15:10,399 --> 00:15:12,734
Were she a mandrill,
she would have bent over
338
00:15:12,736 --> 00:15:14,319
and displayed her brightly
colored hindquarters
339
00:15:14,321 --> 00:15:16,538
like a big red welcome mat.
340
00:15:17,974 --> 00:15:20,108
By the way, you try that
at the junior prom,
341
00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:21,827
you get kicked out.
342
00:15:23,629 --> 00:15:26,882
Okay, maybe she was flirting
with him, but who cares?
343
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,049
Look, I don't even know
344
00:15:28,051 --> 00:15:29,918
where my relationship is
with Leonard is right now.
345
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,087
So says your
prefrontal cortex.
346
00:15:32,089 --> 00:15:34,256
But meanwhile, the limbic system
of your brain is calculating
347
00:15:34,258 --> 00:15:37,008
that if another woman
is attracted to Leonard,
348
00:15:37,010 --> 00:15:38,343
it must be because
he's desirable.
349
00:15:38,345 --> 00:15:40,929
Well, of course
he's desirable.
350
00:15:40,931 --> 00:15:42,681
I mean, he's great.
351
00:15:42,683 --> 00:15:45,984
He's smart, he's sweet,
and, ooh, in the bedroom, whew,
352
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:48,854
let me tell you,
he really tries.
353
00:15:51,307 --> 00:15:53,325
So it does bother you.
354
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,977
Fine, it bothers
me a little.
355
00:15:55,979 --> 00:15:57,245
No. You know what?
356
00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,197
This is stupid.
It doesn't bother me.
357
00:16:00,783 --> 00:16:02,367
Okay, it bothers me.
358
00:16:03,336 --> 00:16:05,486
But only because she
wouldn't stop laughing.
359
00:16:05,488 --> 00:16:07,789
Leonard is not that funny.
360
00:16:09,125 --> 00:16:10,258
And there you have it;
361
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:13,044
prefrontal cortex reasoning
versus limbic lust.
362
00:16:13,046 --> 00:16:15,430
If this were a boxing match,
they might call it
363
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:19,334
"The thrilla adjacent
to the amygdala."
364
00:16:19,336 --> 00:16:21,803
(laughs)
365
00:16:21,805 --> 00:16:23,188
If you were
a brain scientist,
366
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,941
you would be busting
a gut right now!
367
00:16:29,629 --> 00:16:31,363
So, how was work today?
368
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,148
Ah, it was
all right, I guess.
369
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:36,301
Got to Heimlich a
cherry stem out of Sheldon.
370
00:16:36,303 --> 00:16:38,203
Caught Raj right in the eye.
371
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:39,704
Oh!
372
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,207
You're kidding.
373
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:43,491
No, Raj had to go to the nurse.
374
00:16:43,493 --> 00:16:46,127
Wow. Anything else?
375
00:16:46,129 --> 00:16:50,799
Mmm, the nurse is a woman,
so he couldn't talk to her.
376
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,700
She had to bring him
a Grover puppet
377
00:16:52,702 --> 00:16:54,869
so he could point at what hurt.
378
00:16:58,674 --> 00:17:00,292
Is that it?
379
00:17:00,294 --> 00:17:02,210
Isn't that enough?
380
00:17:02,212 --> 00:17:04,246
It had the weaponized fruit
and a puppet.
381
00:17:04,248 --> 00:17:06,181
What more do you want?
382
00:17:06,183 --> 00:17:09,550
Oh, good, Leonard, you're here.
Science news.
383
00:17:09,552 --> 00:17:12,437
This will interest you.
And, Penny, feel free
384
00:17:12,439 --> 00:17:13,855
to paint your nails.
385
00:17:15,224 --> 00:17:17,058
What do you got?
386
00:17:17,060 --> 00:17:18,526
I believe Alex may
have unearthed
387
00:17:18,528 --> 00:17:19,995
the grade school
science project
388
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:22,230
that could be my ticket
to the Nobel Prize.
389
00:17:22,232 --> 00:17:23,198
Behold.
390
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,368
"Magnets: What Do
They Stick To?"
391
00:17:27,870 --> 00:17:32,007
If the answer is "metal,"
it's not exactly groundbreaking.
392
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,593
The original title was
"A Rederivation
393
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,178
of Maxwell's Equations
Regarding Electromagnetism""
394
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:39,965
I dumbed it down because some
of the more religious people
395
00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:42,583
in town were starting
to say I was a witch.
396
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,422
Sheldon thinks the approach in
this paper might change the way
397
00:17:47,424 --> 00:17:48,923
we calculate ferromagnetic
hysteresis.
398
00:17:48,925 --> 00:17:51,893
Oh, it's about time.
I hated the old way.
399
00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:55,013
Hi. I'm Penny.
Alex.
400
00:17:55,015 --> 00:17:56,564
Uh, do you work
with Dr. Hofstadter?
401
00:17:56,566 --> 00:17:58,316
In a way.
402
00:18:00,503 --> 00:18:04,239
We've kind of been involved
in a five-year experiment.
403
00:18:04,241 --> 00:18:06,441
Oh. Well, you're lucky.
He seems very talented.
404
00:18:06,443 --> 00:18:09,277
And I'm sure a lot of people
want to work with him.
405
00:18:09,279 --> 00:18:12,447
Well, a lot of people can't.
406
00:18:12,449 --> 00:18:14,466
Uh, hey.
407
00:18:15,334 --> 00:18:16,468
Where are we going?
408
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:19,721
My limbic system wants
to take your pants off.
409
00:18:22,441 --> 00:18:23,842
She seems nice.
410
00:18:23,844 --> 00:18:27,362
Notice people on your own time.
We're working.
411
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:38,683
Hey, Howie, how you feeling?
412
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,284
Better. Much better.
413
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:43,671
The other astronauts
held me down,
414
00:18:43,673 --> 00:18:46,624
gave me a shot.
415
00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:54,098
Oh...
416
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,668
Attention, people of Earth:
417
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:02,873
Tonight, there will be two moons
in the sky.
418
00:19:04,259 --> 00:19:06,043
Howie, stop that.
419
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,346
NASA's watching this!
420
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:11,799
Put your pants back on!
421
00:19:11,801 --> 00:19:12,716
Whee! Whee!
422
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:16,718
== sync, corrected by elderman ==