1
00:00:02,473 --> 00:00:03,767
WOLOWITZ:
Hey, Bernie.
2
00:00:03,798 --> 00:00:06,682
Hey, how's my little
astronautie hottie?
3
00:00:07,759 --> 00:00:08,953
Okay, I guess.
4
00:00:09,006 --> 00:00:11,012
It's just,
being cooped up in this...
5
00:00:11,074 --> 00:00:13,491
tin can for weeks on end
is starting to get to me.
6
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,214
Well, hang in there.
You just have a couple more
7
00:00:15,256 --> 00:00:16,931
days to go,
and then you'll be home.
8
00:00:16,981 --> 00:00:18,237
I know.
9
00:00:18,305 --> 00:00:19,824
I got to get back to work.
10
00:00:19,851 --> 00:00:20,770
I love you.
11
00:00:20,809 --> 00:00:21,622
Love you too.
12
00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:22,739
Hey, Bernie?
13
00:00:22,767 --> 00:00:26,719
Before you go, can you
do something for me?
14
00:00:27,134 --> 00:00:28,584
What do you want me to do?
15
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:31,004
Okay, here it is.
16
00:00:31,109 --> 00:00:34,134
I really miss gravity.
17
00:00:34,209 --> 00:00:39,167
Can you drop something
so I can watch it fall?
18
00:00:41,299 --> 00:00:43,684
Really, you're serious?
19
00:00:46,789 --> 00:00:49,246
Okay.
20
00:00:50,542 --> 00:00:53,680
Oh, baby, you're killing me.
21
00:00:56,550 --> 00:00:57,568
Ugh.
22
00:00:57,605 --> 00:00:58,674
Hey, Sheldon?
23
00:00:58,705 --> 00:00:59,924
Hi. This came
for you today.
24
00:00:59,949 --> 00:01:00,824
It's from your mom.
25
00:01:00,851 --> 00:01:02,130
Oh!
26
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,736
- Thank you, Penny.
- Mm-hmm.
27
00:01:03,783 --> 00:01:05,650
Yeah, w... here.
28
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:10,001
For your troubles.
29
00:01:10,841 --> 00:01:13,190
Oh, boy, a whole dollar.
30
00:01:13,264 --> 00:01:15,230
Now, I can quit my paper route.
31
00:01:16,516 --> 00:01:17,602
So, what's in it?
32
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:18,464
Mmm, doesn't matter.
33
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:21,395
Half the time, he just ends up
playing with the box.
34
00:01:21,878 --> 00:01:25,366
Yeah, it's journals and research
papers I wrote as a child.
35
00:01:25,391 --> 00:01:27,529
Aw, how cute.
36
00:01:27,625 --> 00:01:29,076
Is this like a diary?
37
00:01:29,207 --> 00:01:31,958
No, that's my
potty training journal.
38
00:01:32,623 --> 00:01:34,799
Really, your
potty training journal?
39
00:01:34,836 --> 00:01:36,933
Yeah. And forgive my
crude penmanship.
40
00:01:36,951 --> 00:01:39,484
I didn't start typing
until I was six.
41
00:01:42,028 --> 00:01:45,110
"August 7, 8:42 a.m.
This is humiliating.
42
00:01:45,141 --> 00:01:46,548
What was wrong with diapers?"
43
00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:48,607
(giggles)
44
00:01:48,954 --> 00:01:50,782
There are some charts
in the back
45
00:01:50,807 --> 00:01:52,474
where I kept track
of shape, color
46
00:01:52,506 --> 00:01:54,739
and consistency.
- Oh!
47
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:56,946
Disgusting.
48
00:01:56,987 --> 00:02:00,312
No, what's disgusting
is he's still keeping track.
49
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,326
Why do you need
all this stuff...?
50
00:02:03,344 --> 00:02:04,404
- No, no, no, no...
- Sorry!
51
00:02:04,423 --> 00:02:05,717
I am glad you asked.
52
00:02:05,763 --> 00:02:06,785
Oh!
53
00:02:06,816 --> 00:02:09,810
Yeah, are you familiar
with the Higgs boson?
54
00:02:09,872 --> 00:02:13,274
Of course, it is...
it's been in the news.
55
00:02:13,305 --> 00:02:16,256
And it's a very famous boson.
56
00:02:17,149 --> 00:02:18,188
Nice try.
57
00:02:18,213 --> 00:02:21,199
Now, in 1964, Dr. Peter Higgs,
58
00:02:21,239 --> 00:02:23,358
accomplished self-promoter
and physicist,
59
00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:25,940
he wrote a paper
postulating the existence
60
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:28,734
of a subatomic particle
called the Higgs boson.
61
00:02:28,752 --> 00:02:30,123
Now, initially,
62
00:02:30,154 --> 00:02:33,773
the paper was rejected, but
recently, he was proven right.
63
00:02:33,827 --> 00:02:36,799
And now he's on the fast
track to win a Nobel prize.
64
00:02:37,109 --> 00:02:39,901
- Yeah, that's basically what I said.
- Yeah...
65
00:02:40,834 --> 00:02:44,460
The point is Higgs
is being celebrated for work
66
00:02:44,485 --> 00:02:46,406
he did 50 years ago, so that
67
00:02:46,443 --> 00:02:48,941
got me thinking,
perhaps I've already hit
68
00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:51,983
upon the idea
that will win me my Nobel prize.
69
00:02:52,035 --> 00:02:53,675
I didn't know
they gave Nobel prizes
70
00:02:53,694 --> 00:02:55,894
for making boom-boom
in the potty.
71
00:02:57,973 --> 00:02:58,853
You really think
72
00:02:58,875 --> 00:03:01,298
there's some kind
of scientific discovery in here?
73
00:03:01,368 --> 00:03:04,449
Well, this box only covers
my work through nursery school.
74
00:03:04,508 --> 00:03:05,946
There's a good deal
more to come.
75
00:03:05,969 --> 00:03:08,995
I didn't really hit my academic
stride until I cut out
76
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:11,704
that time-suck
known as "playing outdoors."
77
00:03:12,481 --> 00:03:14,170
LEONARD: So, you're going
to spend hours and hours
78
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:15,608
combing through all this stuff?
79
00:03:15,661 --> 00:03:17,293
(gasps)
That's a good point.
80
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:19,244
My time is much too valuable.
81
00:03:19,353 --> 00:03:21,816
You know, perhaps I should
find someone to do it for me.
82
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,598
You know, someone with
a rudimentary understanding
83
00:03:23,629 --> 00:03:27,881
of science, but whose real
talents lie in menial labor.
84
00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:34,098
Not gonna happen.
85
00:03:34,129 --> 00:03:36,755
Yeah, well, if I didn't
think you could handle it,
86
00:03:36,779 --> 00:03:38,162
I wouldn't be asking.
87
00:03:38,973 --> 00:03:41,115
If you want help,
just hire a grad student.
88
00:03:41,157 --> 00:03:42,313
Maybe I could do it.
89
00:03:42,344 --> 00:03:44,772
You, really?
90
00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:47,515
You can assess
the quality of my work?
91
00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:49,274
Okay, um, here.
92
00:03:49,471 --> 00:03:51,588
I wrote this
when I was five years old.
93
00:03:52,471 --> 00:03:55,965
"A proof that algebraic topology
can never have a non-self
94
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:59,103
contradictory set
of abelion groups."
95
00:04:03,716 --> 00:04:06,684
I'm just a blonde monkey
to you, aren't I?
96
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,368
You said it, not me.
97
00:04:12,776 --> 00:04:16,123
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
98
00:04:16,147 --> 00:04:19,814
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
99
00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:21,354
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
100
00:04:21,385 --> 00:04:24,183
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
101
00:04:24,204 --> 00:04:26,147
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
102
00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:28,978
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
103
00:04:28,996 --> 00:04:31,113
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
104
00:04:31,153 --> 00:04:32,027
♪ Bang! ♪
105
00:04:32,047 --> 00:04:34,547
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x03 ♪
The Higgs Boson Observation
Original Air Date on October 11, 2012
106
00:04:34,572 --> 00:04:37,572
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
107
00:04:38,067 --> 00:04:40,748
All right, Ms. Jenson.
108
00:04:40,792 --> 00:04:43,554
Uh, before we begin,
may I offer you a refreshment?
109
00:04:43,593 --> 00:04:45,837
Water, coffee, tea,
110
00:04:45,917 --> 00:04:48,084
a marijuana cigarette?
111
00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:50,481
No, thanks. I'm fine.
112
00:04:50,506 --> 00:04:51,869
Now, are you sure?
113
00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:54,096
Everyone's smoking them.
114
00:04:55,081 --> 00:04:57,515
I think they're the best.
115
00:04:57,985 --> 00:04:59,047
I don't do drugs.
116
00:04:59,078 --> 00:05:00,360
Excellent, yeah.
117
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:01,683
That was a ruse.
118
00:05:01,748 --> 00:05:03,248
They're not the best.
119
00:05:03,368 --> 00:05:05,201
Physics is the best.
120
00:05:05,429 --> 00:05:06,573
And by the way,
121
00:05:06,604 --> 00:05:08,829
coffee was also
an unacceptable choice.
122
00:05:08,922 --> 00:05:12,641
All right, so I see here
you're from Des Moines, Iowa.
123
00:05:12,699 --> 00:05:15,283
Uh, you're summa cum laude
in theoretical physics
124
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:16,682
from Stanford University.
125
00:05:16,922 --> 00:05:21,447
Oh, and two years ago, you had
a persistent ear infection.
126
00:05:21,764 --> 00:05:23,771
I hope that didn't
cause any hearing loss.
127
00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:25,638
No, of course not.
128
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,392
How did you know about that?
129
00:05:27,551 --> 00:05:29,729
I did a comprehensive
background check.
130
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:33,479
Medical records, credit reports,
criminal history.
131
00:05:33,558 --> 00:05:36,542
(muffled): I trust you paid off
those parking tickets.
132
00:05:37,102 --> 00:05:38,111
Yes, I did.
133
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,962
Hearing unimpaired, good.
134
00:05:41,490 --> 00:05:44,006
Look, Dr. Cooper,
I really want this position.
135
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,000
It would be
an incredible honor to work
136
00:05:46,032 --> 00:05:47,615
for a man of your brilliance.
137
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:51,232
Flattery will not get you
this job, Ms. Jenson.
138
00:05:51,631 --> 00:05:53,861
It's not flattery
if it's the truth.
139
00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:56,286
Oh, well, thank you.
140
00:05:56,304 --> 00:05:57,770
Welcome aboard.
141
00:05:59,523 --> 00:06:00,893
You talk to Howard lately?
142
00:06:00,941 --> 00:06:02,366
Uh, yeah, last night.
143
00:06:02,524 --> 00:06:05,599
He kept making me
drop pencils for him.
144
00:06:07,202 --> 00:06:09,337
I got uncomfortable.
145
00:06:10,177 --> 00:06:11,522
Hey, Sheldon,
hope you're hungry.
146
00:06:11,553 --> 00:06:12,953
They're serving macaroni and...
147
00:06:12,986 --> 00:06:15,272
(voice deepens):
Cheese.
148
00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:20,511
(mocking):
Smooth.
149
00:06:22,427 --> 00:06:23,761
- Hi.
- Hello.
150
00:06:24,022 --> 00:06:25,772
Sheldon, aren't you
going to introduce us?
151
00:06:25,805 --> 00:06:27,880
No. I have people
for that now.
152
00:06:27,912 --> 00:06:29,578
You're up.
153
00:06:29,617 --> 00:06:31,495
I'm Alex,
Dr. Cooper's new assistant.
154
00:06:31,531 --> 00:06:34,696
Ah, congratulations and may God
have mercy on your soul.
155
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,381
I'm Leonard. This is Raj.
156
00:06:37,419 --> 00:06:38,648
It's nice to meet you.
157
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,216
I'm so excited
to be working with Dr...
158
00:06:40,236 --> 00:06:41,183
Yeah, please reserve
159
00:06:41,214 --> 00:06:43,039
chitchat for your breaks,
Ms. Jenson.
160
00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:46,102
Yeah, FYI,
there will be no breaks.
161
00:06:47,322 --> 00:06:50,235
I should probably get to work.
162
00:06:52,254 --> 00:06:53,081
She seems nice.
163
00:06:53,099 --> 00:06:54,461
Hey, you already
got a girlfriend.
164
00:06:54,492 --> 00:06:56,352
I call dibs.
165
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,029
All I said was,
"She seems nice."
166
00:06:59,063 --> 00:07:00,946
Yeah, well, I love her.
167
00:07:04,809 --> 00:07:07,011
(phone rings)
168
00:07:08,498 --> 00:07:10,935
Hey, I wasn't expecting
to hear from you today.
169
00:07:10,987 --> 00:07:11,913
Everything okay?
170
00:07:11,937 --> 00:07:14,655
Uh, no, not really.
171
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:17,217
What's wrong?
172
00:07:17,241 --> 00:07:19,905
Well, remember the...
Soyuz capsule
173
00:07:19,936 --> 00:07:21,330
they were sending
to bring us home?
174
00:07:21,377 --> 00:07:22,055
Uh-huh.
175
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,249
It's delayed.
176
00:07:23,294 --> 00:07:24,963
We're gonna be here
at least another week.
177
00:07:24,998 --> 00:07:26,002
Maybe ten days.
178
00:07:26,027 --> 00:07:28,828
It's the Russians,
so you don't know.
179
00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:34,772
They left dogs up here
in the '60s.
180
00:07:37,212 --> 00:07:38,277
Come on, Howard.
181
00:07:38,302 --> 00:07:39,996
No one's leaving you up there.
182
00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:42,127
I don't know how much longer
I can take this.
183
00:07:42,146 --> 00:07:46,327
I can't sleep, and zero gravity
is giving me crazy acid reflux.
184
00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:47,185
(inhales)
185
00:07:47,237 --> 00:07:49,987
I'm down to my last three Tums.
186
00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:53,352
You're going to be fine.
187
00:07:53,376 --> 00:07:56,272
You survived that Weight
Watchers cruise with your mom.
188
00:07:57,734 --> 00:08:00,919
And they ran out
of low-fat ice cream on day two.
189
00:08:02,505 --> 00:08:05,424
Just calm down and take
a few deep breaths.
190
00:08:05,471 --> 00:08:06,937
Okay, okay.
191
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:09,869
(breathing deeply)
192
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:13,357
What am I doing?
I'm using up all the oxygen.
193
00:08:16,715 --> 00:08:20,630
If I die, promise you'll never
have sex with another man.
194
00:08:26,522 --> 00:08:28,685
Oh, yeah.
195
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:33,310
I'm a man-eater now.
196
00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:37,760
Okay, for the final touch,
this is an eyelash curler.
197
00:08:37,843 --> 00:08:41,199
You just place it on your lashes
and squeeze it closed.
198
00:08:41,779 --> 00:08:43,942
Oh, I don't know.
199
00:08:44,031 --> 00:08:47,066
Looks like something used
by Tinker Bell's gynecologist.
200
00:08:50,357 --> 00:08:53,559
Who I hope for her sake
is not Captain Hook, so...
201
00:08:58,145 --> 00:08:59,279
Who are you calling?
202
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:00,804
I'm going to
video-chat Sheldon.
203
00:09:00,850 --> 00:09:01,766
Mmm.
204
00:09:01,849 --> 00:09:03,480
If my new look
leads to phone sex,
205
00:09:03,511 --> 00:09:05,628
I'm going to have to ask you
to leave the room.
206
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:08,876
ALEX:
Dr. Cooper's office.
207
00:09:08,907 --> 00:09:10,934
Oh, hello. Who are you?
208
00:09:11,046 --> 00:09:13,115
I'm Alex,
Dr. Cooper's assistant.
209
00:09:13,128 --> 00:09:14,094
Can I help you?
210
00:09:14,130 --> 00:09:15,579
I'd like to speak to Sheldon.
211
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:18,062
I'm sorry. He's asked me
to hold all calls
212
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:19,960
unless you're Stephen Hawking,
his mother
213
00:09:19,984 --> 00:09:22,318
or himself from the future.
214
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:24,424
All right.
215
00:09:24,443 --> 00:09:26,505
- Well, tell him Amy called.
- Last name?
216
00:09:26,558 --> 00:09:27,609
He knows my last name.
217
00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:29,300
I'm his girlfriend.
218
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,168
We have a contract
and everything.
219
00:09:31,192 --> 00:09:33,442
I'll send you a PDF.
220
00:09:35,439 --> 00:09:38,324
All right, I will
tell him you called.
221
00:09:39,802 --> 00:09:41,920
- Hmm, that's weird.
- What?
222
00:09:42,509 --> 00:09:45,253
Sheldon told me he had
a new assistant named Alex.
223
00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:47,317
He didn't mention
that Alex was a girl.
224
00:09:47,372 --> 00:09:49,872
Maybe he didn't notice.
225
00:09:50,311 --> 00:09:51,297
You're right.
226
00:09:51,328 --> 00:09:52,699
I don't have to worry
about Sheldon.
227
00:09:52,729 --> 00:09:55,202
(laughing):
No, you do not.
228
00:09:57,648 --> 00:09:59,206
It's her I have to worry about.
229
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,993
Oh, Amy, really?
230
00:10:01,014 --> 00:10:02,761
She is not going to come on
to Sheldon.
231
00:10:02,818 --> 00:10:04,201
Oh, really?
232
00:10:04,384 --> 00:10:06,801
Look at this face.
233
00:10:09,296 --> 00:10:11,716
How can any woman
spend eight hours a day
234
00:10:11,735 --> 00:10:15,220
alone with this face
and not fall in love with it?
235
00:10:16,141 --> 00:10:17,266
Well, for starters,
236
00:10:17,292 --> 00:10:20,426
at some point,
that face starts talking.
237
00:10:25,156 --> 00:10:26,361
Amy, this is crazy.
238
00:10:26,386 --> 00:10:28,139
You have nothing
to be suspicious about.
239
00:10:28,173 --> 00:10:29,453
I'm not suspicious.
240
00:10:29,472 --> 00:10:31,923
I just want to stop in,
say hi to my boyfriend
241
00:10:31,944 --> 00:10:33,291
and meet his new assistant.
242
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:35,865
Aha!
243
00:10:40,042 --> 00:10:41,303
Can we go now?
244
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,515
Hang on.
245
00:10:49,374 --> 00:10:50,391
What are you doing?
246
00:10:50,594 --> 00:10:51,900
Isn't it obvious?
247
00:10:51,975 --> 00:10:55,343
I'm spreading my scent
to mark my territory.
248
00:10:57,836 --> 00:10:59,762
Come on, Amy.
That is not gonna work.
249
00:10:59,801 --> 00:11:02,699
Really? Because just before you
became my best friend,
250
00:11:02,724 --> 00:11:05,725
I did this
all over your apartment.
251
00:11:10,367 --> 00:11:12,930
Has your, uh, assistant
said anything about me?
252
00:11:13,064 --> 00:11:14,589
In fact, she has.
253
00:11:14,638 --> 00:11:19,074
Uh, her exact words were,
"What is that guy's problem?"
254
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:23,585
I'm in her head.
Let the dance begin.
255
00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:27,908
Here's your frozen yogurt,
Dr. Cooper.
256
00:11:27,983 --> 00:11:29,235
This should be fun.
257
00:11:29,298 --> 00:11:30,980
Half chocolate, half vanilla,
258
00:11:31,005 --> 00:11:32,811
side by side, not swirled?
- Yes.
259
00:11:32,844 --> 00:11:34,961
- Half a teaspoon of sprinkles?
- Rainbow, not chocolate.
260
00:11:34,993 --> 00:11:36,730
- Two cherries?
- One on top, one on the bottom.
261
00:11:36,745 --> 00:11:38,711
- Stems removed?
- Um...
262
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:39,944
top one, yes.
263
00:11:39,963 --> 00:11:41,479
I didn't check the one
on the bottom.
264
00:11:41,503 --> 00:11:43,603
Oh...!
265
00:11:45,092 --> 00:11:47,045
I'm so sorry, Dr. Cooper.
266
00:11:47,118 --> 00:11:48,094
It's all right, Alex.
267
00:11:48,118 --> 00:11:50,919
I'm not mad at you;
I'm just disappointed.
268
00:11:53,008 --> 00:11:54,741
Wait, Alex.
Do you want to join us?
269
00:11:54,804 --> 00:11:56,788
- Um...
- Uh, Alex, a moment.
270
00:11:56,818 --> 00:11:59,852
I need a word with
Dr. Hofstadter.
271
00:12:02,365 --> 00:12:03,478
Do you think it's appropriate
272
00:12:03,502 --> 00:12:06,036
for her to sit with us,
given her station?
273
00:12:07,667 --> 00:12:09,249
Given her what?
274
00:12:09,466 --> 00:12:12,717
If I've learned anything from
British television shows on PBS,
275
00:12:12,789 --> 00:12:17,368
it's that servants dine
downstairs with their own kind.
276
00:12:18,589 --> 00:12:20,321
What?
277
00:12:20,793 --> 00:12:22,645
It's a kindness, Leonard.
278
00:12:22,702 --> 00:12:25,657
Otherwise, you're cruelly
tempting them with a glimpse
279
00:12:25,697 --> 00:12:29,065
of a world that's just beyond
their soot-stained fingertips.
280
00:12:30,403 --> 00:12:32,017
Oh, sure.
281
00:12:32,078 --> 00:12:33,216
Please join us.
282
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:35,850
Oh, okay. Thank you.
283
00:12:35,967 --> 00:12:38,516
So, Alex, what's the topic
of your dissertation?
284
00:12:38,565 --> 00:12:40,333
I'm looking
for Trojan asteroids
285
00:12:40,364 --> 00:12:41,930
at Earth's L-Five
Lagrange point.
286
00:12:42,047 --> 00:12:44,064
Oh, that happens to be
287
00:12:44,099 --> 00:12:46,233
Dr. Koothrappali's
field of expertise.
288
00:12:46,278 --> 00:12:48,978
You two have a lot
to talk about.
289
00:12:51,218 --> 00:12:52,986
Is that true?
290
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,400
Is he all right?
291
00:13:05,728 --> 00:13:07,945
No.
292
00:13:10,816 --> 00:13:15,048
But compared to your boss,
he's the poster boy for sanity.
293
00:13:15,456 --> 00:13:17,882
It's okay, I've been around
scientists all my life.
294
00:13:17,913 --> 00:13:19,459
My dad's an astronomer at SETI.
295
00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:22,690
Oh, SETI-- the Search for
Extraterrestrial Intelligence.
296
00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:25,430
You should introduce him
to Sheldon. The search is over.
297
00:13:27,151 --> 00:13:28,782
So, what kind of research
are you doing?
298
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:29,995
High-energy lasers.
299
00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:30,900
Ooh. Military?
300
00:13:30,931 --> 00:13:33,431
Not yet, but I can remove
unwanted hair
301
00:13:33,457 --> 00:13:34,615
from two miles away.
302
00:13:34,646 --> 00:13:36,646
(both chuckle)
303
00:13:36,688 --> 00:13:37,386
You were right.
304
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,867
I had nothing to worry about.
305
00:13:38,903 --> 00:13:41,104
That skank's your
problem, not mine.
306
00:13:42,939 --> 00:13:44,784
You're very funny,
Dr. Hofstadter.
307
00:13:44,821 --> 00:13:45,754
LEONARD:
Thank you.
308
00:13:45,788 --> 00:13:48,355
Aah! Cherry stem!
Cherry stem!
309
00:13:48,438 --> 00:13:50,555
(coughing, gagging)
310
00:13:51,994 --> 00:13:54,213
How you doing, Howie?
You feeling a little better?
311
00:13:54,283 --> 00:13:58,869
Oh, a lot better, thanks.
One sec.
312
00:14:00,641 --> 00:14:03,350
Listen close.
I don't have a lot of time.
313
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:05,384
I need you to go to my house.
314
00:14:05,408 --> 00:14:06,928
In my bedroom, you'll find
a model rocket.
315
00:14:06,953 --> 00:14:09,871
I want you to take it
and bring it back to your place.
316
00:14:10,554 --> 00:14:11,374
Okay...
317
00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:14,647
Step two: Build a version
roughly 14 stories high.
318
00:14:15,902 --> 00:14:18,153
Fill it full of rocket fuel
and come get me.
319
00:14:18,261 --> 00:14:20,628
(whispers):
I'll leave the door unlocked.
320
00:14:23,077 --> 00:14:25,078
Howie, honey, maybe you should
talk to someone,
321
00:14:25,103 --> 00:14:26,954
let them know you're having
a little anxiety.
322
00:14:27,002 --> 00:14:29,177
No, no, I'm fine.
323
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,892
No anxiety!
324
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,605
(quietly):
We should probably talk in code.
325
00:14:33,656 --> 00:14:36,399
From now on, "frog" is me,
"sandwich" means you
326
00:14:36,419 --> 00:14:38,944
and "lemon" means rocket.
So, come on, sandwich,
327
00:14:38,981 --> 00:14:42,349
build me a lemon 'cause froggy
wants to come home!
328
00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:51,373
Look at you,
putting on a brave face.
329
00:14:52,306 --> 00:14:53,901
There's nothing
to be brave about.
330
00:14:53,945 --> 00:14:55,211
Everything's fine.
331
00:14:55,236 --> 00:14:56,711
Really?
332
00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:58,740
I don't know how much you know
about primate behavior,
333
00:14:58,761 --> 00:15:01,742
but Sheldon's assistant
was clearly courting Leonard.
334
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,193
Were she a mandrill,
she would have bent over
335
00:15:04,212 --> 00:15:06,024
and displayed her brightly
colored hindquarters
336
00:15:06,068 --> 00:15:08,285
like a big red welcome mat.
337
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,329
By the way, you try that
at the junior prom,
338
00:15:12,354 --> 00:15:14,071
you get kicked out.
339
00:15:15,996 --> 00:15:19,335
Okay, maybe she was flirting
with him, but who cares?
340
00:15:19,431 --> 00:15:20,348
Look, I don't even know
341
00:15:20,372 --> 00:15:22,239
where my relationship is
with Leonard is right now.
342
00:15:22,492 --> 00:15:24,486
So says your prefrontal cortex.
343
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:27,224
But meanwhile, the limbic system
of your brain is calculating
344
00:15:27,262 --> 00:15:29,095
that if another woman
is attracted to Leonard,
345
00:15:29,132 --> 00:15:31,026
it must be because
he's desirable.
346
00:15:31,173 --> 00:15:33,491
Well, of course he's desirable.
347
00:15:33,503 --> 00:15:34,823
I mean, he's great.
348
00:15:34,862 --> 00:15:38,268
He's smart, he's sweet,
and, ooh, in the bedroom, whew,
349
00:15:38,296 --> 00:15:41,164
let me tell you,
he really tries.
350
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:45,478
So it does bother you.
351
00:15:45,831 --> 00:15:48,481
Fine, it bothers me a little.
352
00:15:48,796 --> 00:15:49,705
No. You know what?
353
00:15:49,735 --> 00:15:51,685
This is stupid.
It doesn't bother me.
354
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,974
Okay, it bothers me.
355
00:15:55,984 --> 00:15:57,591
But only because she
wouldn't stop laughing.
356
00:15:57,615 --> 00:15:59,916
Leonard is not that funny.
357
00:16:01,435 --> 00:16:02,568
And there you have it;
358
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,379
Prefrontal cortex reasoning
versus limbic lust.
359
00:16:06,093 --> 00:16:08,477
If this were a boxing match,
they might call it
360
00:16:08,511 --> 00:16:11,842
"The thrilla adjacent
to the amygdala."
361
00:16:11,864 --> 00:16:14,331
(laughs)
362
00:16:14,465 --> 00:16:15,848
If you were a brain scientist,
363
00:16:15,869 --> 00:16:18,803
you would be busting
a gut right now!
364
00:16:22,371 --> 00:16:23,696
So, how was work today?
365
00:16:23,714 --> 00:16:25,497
Ah, it was all right, I guess.
366
00:16:25,579 --> 00:16:28,730
Got to Heimlich a
cherry stem out of Sheldon.
367
00:16:29,538 --> 00:16:30,830
Caught Raj right in the eye.
368
00:16:30,884 --> 00:16:32,383
Oh!
369
00:16:33,181 --> 00:16:34,557
You're kidding.
370
00:16:34,607 --> 00:16:36,138
No, Raj had to go to the nurse.
371
00:16:36,172 --> 00:16:38,616
Wow. Anything else?
372
00:16:38,808 --> 00:16:42,833
Mmm, the nurse is a woman,
so he couldn't talk to her.
373
00:16:43,330 --> 00:16:44,886
She had to bring him
a Grover puppet
374
00:16:44,911 --> 00:16:47,193
so he could point at what hurt.
375
00:16:51,027 --> 00:16:52,645
Is that it?
376
00:16:53,004 --> 00:16:54,811
Isn't that enough?
377
00:16:54,859 --> 00:16:56,766
It had the weaponized fruit
and a puppet.
378
00:16:56,789 --> 00:16:58,722
What more do you want?
379
00:16:59,281 --> 00:17:01,993
Oh, good, Leonard, you're here.
Science news.
380
00:17:02,018 --> 00:17:05,093
This will interest you.
And, Penny, feel free
381
00:17:05,118 --> 00:17:06,534
to paint your nails.
382
00:17:07,676 --> 00:17:08,611
What do you got?
383
00:17:08,649 --> 00:17:10,549
I believe Alex may
have unearthed
384
00:17:10,574 --> 00:17:12,218
the grade school
science project
385
00:17:12,249 --> 00:17:14,482
that could be my ticket
to the Nobel Prize.
386
00:17:14,754 --> 00:17:15,720
Behold.
387
00:17:16,234 --> 00:17:19,402
"Magnets: What Do
They Stick To?"
388
00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:24,243
If the answer is "metal,"
it's not exactly groundbreaking.
389
00:17:24,525 --> 00:17:26,840
The original title was
"A Rederivation
390
00:17:26,865 --> 00:17:29,878
of Maxwell's Equations
Regarding Electromagnetism ""
391
00:17:29,922 --> 00:17:32,707
I dumbed it down because some
of the more religious people
392
00:17:32,721 --> 00:17:35,337
in town were starting
to say I was a witch.
393
00:17:36,712 --> 00:17:39,208
Sheldon thinks the approach in
this paper might change the way
394
00:17:39,233 --> 00:17:41,456
we calculate ferromagnetic
hysteresis.
395
00:17:41,604 --> 00:17:44,572
Oh, it's about time.
I hated the old way.
396
00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:47,341
- Hi. I'm Penny.
- Alex.
397
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,949
Uh, do you work
with Dr. Hofstadter?
398
00:17:49,370 --> 00:17:51,120
In a way.
399
00:17:53,182 --> 00:17:56,829
We've kind of been involved
in a five-year experiment.
400
00:17:56,870 --> 00:17:59,540
Oh. Well, you're lucky.
He seems very talented.
401
00:17:59,571 --> 00:18:01,765
And I'm sure a lot of people
want to work with him.
402
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:04,629
Well, a lot of people can't.
403
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,469
Uh, hey.
404
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,121
Where are we going?
405
00:18:09,149 --> 00:18:12,400
My limbic system wants
to take your pants off.
406
00:18:15,451 --> 00:18:17,008
She seems nice.
407
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:21,015
Notice people on your own time.
We're working.
408
00:18:25,303 --> 00:18:27,126
Hey, Howie, how you feeling?
409
00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:28,885
Better. Much better.
410
00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:32,238
The other astronauts
held me down,
411
00:18:32,269 --> 00:18:35,220
gave me a shot.
412
00:18:40,218 --> 00:18:42,819
Oh...
413
00:18:42,946 --> 00:18:45,596
Attention, people of Earth:
414
00:18:45,778 --> 00:18:51,609
Tonight, there will be two moons
in the sky.
415
00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:54,764
Howie, stop that.
416
00:18:55,078 --> 00:18:56,947
NASA's watching this!
417
00:18:57,019 --> 00:19:00,470
Put your pants back on!
418
00:19:00,522 --> 00:19:02,689
Whee!
419
00:19:05,132 --> 00:19:07,585
Whee!
420
00:19:07,682 --> 00:19:13,682
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther