1 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:04,748 Can I help you? 2 00:00:04,749 --> 00:00:07,830 Hi... Gail? 3 00:00:07,831 --> 00:00:10,239 Uhm... My wonderful wife with her heart of gold 4 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:11,725 decided to let our daughter 5 00:00:11,726 --> 00:00:13,459 sleep in our bed a couple of days ago, 6 00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:15,822 Yeah, no, because she had a pretty serious sniffle. 7 00:00:15,823 --> 00:00:19,158 Cause somebody left the window open all night. 8 00:00:19,159 --> 00:00:20,743 Somebody already told somebody that open windows 9 00:00:20,744 --> 00:00:23,029 don't cause colds, viruses do. 10 00:00:23,030 --> 00:00:24,864 Well, somebody spends ten minutes on web md, 11 00:00:24,865 --> 00:00:27,650 and suddenly they're a pediatrician, huh? 12 00:00:27,651 --> 00:00:30,586 Long story short, Gail, we can't get that little angel 13 00:00:30,587 --> 00:00:32,205 - out of our bed. - No, we can't. 14 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,174 Seriously, when she spreads out it's like sleeping 15 00:00:35,175 --> 00:00:37,009 with a hot bean bag chair. 16 00:00:37,010 --> 00:00:38,599 We haven't slept in three nights. 17 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,802 We're living like kidnapped journalists. 18 00:00:40,803 --> 00:00:44,627 - We might kill each other. - We might kill you, Gail. 19 00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:47,909 We're kidding. 20 00:00:47,910 --> 00:00:49,177 Maybe not. 21 00:00:49,178 --> 00:00:51,946 So do you have a book for that? 22 00:00:51,947 --> 00:00:53,781 [Cooing] 23 00:00:53,782 --> 00:00:56,718 I feel like Gail was a Harry Potter poster. 24 00:00:56,719 --> 00:00:59,020 I don't get that reference and I'm totally... 25 00:00:59,021 --> 00:01:01,823 - Whoa. - Oh, my... Jerry. 26 00:01:01,824 --> 00:01:03,191 - It's Jerry. - Oh, God. 27 00:01:03,192 --> 00:01:05,793 - Do you think he saw us? - I doubt it. 28 00:01:05,794 --> 00:01:07,528 If he had, he'd be back here 29 00:01:07,529 --> 00:01:09,497 telling us about some amazing cheese shop he found. 30 00:01:09,498 --> 00:01:12,500 Or some amazing jai alai workout he's doing. 31 00:01:12,501 --> 00:01:13,634 All right, we gotta get outta here. 32 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,470 Yes, we do. We don't need 33 00:01:15,471 --> 00:01:16,971 a book about parenting. Come on, we're good at being... 34 00:01:16,972 --> 00:01:20,775 - No, no, no. - Where's Amy? Where's Amy? 35 00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:22,208 [Cooing] 36 00:01:22,711 --> 00:01:26,881 She's over there. Okay, just... 37 00:01:26,882 --> 00:01:30,151 Just... 38 00:01:30,152 --> 00:01:32,390 Pss-pss-pss-pss, pss-pss-pss, 39 00:01:32,391 --> 00:01:34,088 pss-pss-pss-pss! 40 00:01:34,089 --> 00:01:35,623 - [Whistles] - Hey, she's not a cat. 41 00:01:35,624 --> 00:01:37,262 Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk. 42 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,223 Hey, ice cream. Ice cream! 43 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:40,628 [Laughing] 44 00:01:40,629 --> 00:01:41,963 Go get her. You go get her. 45 00:01:41,964 --> 00:01:43,898 Go in. Go. 46 00:01:53,075 --> 00:01:54,365 [Giggling] 47 00:01:54,843 --> 00:01:55,977 Reagan. 48 00:01:55,978 --> 00:01:57,491 - [Gasps] - Ugh... 49 00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,113 Oh, Jerry! 50 00:01:59,114 --> 00:02:02,204 I did not see you there at all. 51 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:04,218 Ray gun Brinkley. [Imitates laser gun firing] 52 00:02:04,219 --> 00:02:06,521 There's that thing that you do. 53 00:02:06,522 --> 00:02:07,889 - Hey. - Hey, where is 54 00:02:07,890 --> 00:02:10,421 my old college roomie, Chris T. Brinkley? 55 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:12,693 He is right here. 56 00:02:12,694 --> 00:02:15,676 Chris? Chris! 57 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:18,099 Babe, we should do a radish medley. 58 00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,934 Jerry, gosh, we were just... [Clears throat] 59 00:02:19,935 --> 00:02:21,807 Talking about you. 60 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,771 Well, I hope you were talking about my evite 61 00:02:23,772 --> 00:02:25,519 that you didn't respond to. 62 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,730 I'm roasting a pig on Saturday. Yeah. 63 00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:31,860 I'm way into poly-gas now. 64 00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,247 - Polynesian gastronomy. - Oh. 65 00:02:33,248 --> 00:02:34,862 - Wow. - Of course. 66 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,751 It is amazing. Both: Amazing. 67 00:02:36,752 --> 00:02:38,786 - Yeah. - I'm gonna put you two swinos 68 00:02:38,787 --> 00:02:40,254 on the guest list then. 69 00:02:40,255 --> 00:02:42,723 - Uh... - Yeah, I'll put you on there. 70 00:02:42,724 --> 00:02:43,925 Oink! Oink! [Grunts like pig] 71 00:02:43,926 --> 00:02:45,259 - [Snorts] - All right, awesome. 72 00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:46,928 - I'll see you guys. - Wow. 73 00:02:46,929 --> 00:02:48,584 - So psyched I ran into you. - Yeah. 74 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,765 - We're psyched. - Super psyched. 75 00:02:50,766 --> 00:02:51,799 Are you kidding? 76 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,568 - I found these. - What? 77 00:02:53,569 --> 00:02:55,758 - Get off our jock, Gail. - Chill out, Gail. 78 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,772 Are you kidding? Did you not... 79 00:02:57,773 --> 00:02:59,344 - Like... - What? 80 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:01,599 [Upbeat instrumental music] 81 00:03:13,614 --> 00:03:17,396 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 82 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,961 [door opens] 83 00:03:19,962 --> 00:03:22,026 - Quick question. - Mm-hm. 84 00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:23,225 Which ringtone do you like better? 85 00:03:23,226 --> 00:03:25,063 Air horn? [Air horn blows] 86 00:03:25,064 --> 00:03:26,964 Or European ambulance? [Siren wailing] 87 00:03:26,965 --> 00:03:28,800 I'm not in the mood for this right now, seriously. 88 00:03:28,801 --> 00:03:30,935 Amy's back in our bed. I've had no sleep. 89 00:03:30,936 --> 00:03:32,403 - What's up? - Here's the thing. 90 00:03:32,404 --> 00:03:37,008 I kind of agreed to host a camp-out sleepover dealio 91 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:40,812 for Kyle and some other boys this weekend in my backyard. 92 00:03:40,813 --> 00:03:42,213 Your apartment doesn't have a back... 93 00:03:42,214 --> 00:03:43,714 No! 94 00:03:43,715 --> 00:03:45,316 - No, no, no. - Reagan. Reagan, come on. 95 00:03:45,317 --> 00:03:46,350 You won't even notice us back there. 96 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,885 No. 97 00:03:47,886 --> 00:03:48,953 Aside from the tents and the campfire, 98 00:03:48,954 --> 00:03:50,788 maybe some fireworks... 99 00:03:50,789 --> 00:03:52,123 Would be a bad idea. 100 00:03:52,124 --> 00:03:54,826 Scott, you can't handle all that. 101 00:03:54,827 --> 00:03:56,327 Look... 102 00:03:56,328 --> 00:03:58,796 Kyle's been having sort of a rough time 103 00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:02,133 since Connie and I split, and I just... 104 00:04:02,134 --> 00:04:04,576 I wanna do something really fun for him. 105 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,070 [Sighs] 106 00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:09,407 Okay, I am saying yes because I am an amazing aunt 107 00:04:09,408 --> 00:04:12,009 and because I'm so tired that I've lost the ability 108 00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:13,445 to make smart decisions. 109 00:04:13,446 --> 00:04:15,213 - Either way. - Okay. 110 00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:18,149 Oh, and a couple years ago Kyle got hooked on 111 00:04:18,150 --> 00:04:20,051 sleeping in our bed and what we did... 112 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:22,254 I'm not taking advice from my little brother. Seriously. 113 00:04:22,255 --> 00:04:23,822 I know but we figured this thing out where we could just... 114 00:04:23,823 --> 00:04:25,223 [Air horn blows] 115 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:26,558 Uh, Reagan, I'm telling you, we know... 116 00:04:26,559 --> 00:04:28,126 [Siren wailing] 117 00:04:28,127 --> 00:04:29,427 Can I at least have my phone back please? 118 00:04:29,428 --> 00:04:31,563 [Ringtone plays dixie] 119 00:04:31,564 --> 00:04:34,165 I really need you as a buffer at Jerry's party though. 120 00:04:34,166 --> 00:04:35,967 Come on, you gotta be here for the sleepover? 121 00:04:35,968 --> 00:04:37,302 Yes, I do. 122 00:04:37,303 --> 00:04:38,970 Because if something goes horribly wrong, 123 00:04:38,971 --> 00:04:42,574 someone needs to be here to tell Scott, "I told you so." 124 00:04:42,575 --> 00:04:44,909 [Door opens] Well, I tried. 125 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:48,179 I dipped my toe back into the dating pool. 126 00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:49,498 Not for me. 127 00:04:49,949 --> 00:04:51,516 I think it's time to hang up my fancy underpants. 128 00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:53,118 - Oh. - What was wrong with this guy? 129 00:04:53,119 --> 00:04:55,186 Well, as you know, I am a humorous person. 130 00:04:55,187 --> 00:04:57,389 - A bit of a wag. - Yes, you are. 131 00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:58,857 And a man's laughter is very important to me. 132 00:04:58,858 --> 00:05:00,592 - But this guy just giggled. - So? 133 00:05:00,593 --> 00:05:02,927 No, he giggled into his hand. Like a geisha. 134 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,463 [Imitating giggle] 135 00:05:05,464 --> 00:05:06,898 Wait a minute, I know where you might be able to meet 136 00:05:06,899 --> 00:05:08,058 some cool dudes. 137 00:05:08,501 --> 00:05:10,402 Why don't you take Ava with you to Jerry's party? 138 00:05:10,403 --> 00:05:12,771 - Ooh, Jerry, what's he like? - Oh, no, no, no. 139 00:05:12,772 --> 00:05:14,172 Not for Jerry. No, no, no, no, no. 140 00:05:14,173 --> 00:05:16,207 That guy's too much. 141 00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:19,077 He's always into something and it's always really "amazing." 142 00:05:19,078 --> 00:05:22,113 Yeah. Like his amazing steam punk espresso machine. 143 00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:25,083 Or the amazing recumbent bike that he rode across Holland. 144 00:05:25,084 --> 00:05:26,351 He sounds like a nightmare. 145 00:05:26,352 --> 00:05:28,086 Why are you friends with this guy? 146 00:05:28,087 --> 00:05:29,521 We're not friends. We were college roommates. 147 00:05:29,522 --> 00:05:31,189 And he helped me through something... 148 00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:33,925 Chris was feeling homesick his freshman year, 149 00:05:33,926 --> 00:05:36,161 so he packed his bags and he was gonna leave, 150 00:05:36,162 --> 00:05:38,863 and Jerry stood in the doorway and wouldn't let him go. 151 00:05:38,864 --> 00:05:41,032 So basically if it wasn't for Jerry, he'd be stupid. 152 00:05:41,033 --> 00:05:44,102 Aw, 'cause somebody missed his mommy? 153 00:05:44,103 --> 00:05:47,138 My school had a notoriously late parents' weekend. 154 00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:48,540 I tell you what, if you come with me to Jerry's party... 155 00:05:48,541 --> 00:05:50,909 Act as a buffer, I'll introduce you to some guys. 156 00:05:50,910 --> 00:05:52,877 His parties are always very, very dude-heavy. 157 00:05:52,878 --> 00:05:54,012 Total sausage fest. 158 00:05:54,013 --> 00:05:55,480 Sometimes literally. 159 00:05:55,481 --> 00:05:57,916 He went through this artisanal knockwurst phase. 160 00:05:57,917 --> 00:05:59,691 All right. I will help you serve Jerry duty. 161 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,853 - [Chuckles] Oh, you wag. - [Giggles] 162 00:06:01,854 --> 00:06:03,855 - Ew, that is nauseating. - "Jerry duty." 163 00:06:03,856 --> 00:06:05,290 I can't believe I never thought of that. 164 00:06:05,291 --> 00:06:07,325 - I said it a few times. - You said "Jerry duty"? 165 00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:09,094 I said "Jerry duty." I have comic instinct. 166 00:06:09,095 --> 00:06:10,702 You are on a different channel. 167 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:11,828 [Baby cries] 168 00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:15,033 Honey, I can't do this. I'm bringing her to bed. 169 00:06:15,034 --> 00:06:17,209 - Let's try this one last thing. - All right. 170 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,870 But I say we go with my idea. 171 00:06:18,871 --> 00:06:20,872 You and I grab a handful of Benadryl 172 00:06:20,873 --> 00:06:23,408 and check into the airport Sheraton, 173 00:06:23,409 --> 00:06:27,846 blow all our starwood points, and have a 72-hour sleep bender. 174 00:06:27,847 --> 00:06:30,148 Please. 175 00:06:30,149 --> 00:06:32,183 See? I told you it wasn't gonna... 176 00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,152 [Crying stops] 177 00:06:34,153 --> 00:06:37,688 Wow. What, did you dust that pillowcase with Lunesta? 178 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,290 It's got our scent all over it, 179 00:06:39,291 --> 00:06:40,892 so it's sort of like we're right there with her. 180 00:06:40,893 --> 00:06:43,527 - Oh. - It was actually Scott's idea. 181 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,404 Scott... my brother Scott? 182 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,932 So looks like we got our bed to ourselves 183 00:06:47,933 --> 00:06:49,834 for the first time in a week. 184 00:06:49,835 --> 00:06:50,953 Hm. 185 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,977 Thanks for letting me use your costco card to buy stuff 186 00:06:58,978 --> 00:07:00,078 for the sleepover. 187 00:07:00,079 --> 00:07:01,212 Oh, yeah. No, of course. 188 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,448 I needed a six-pack of pants, so... 189 00:07:03,449 --> 00:07:06,451 Oh! Thank you for the advice you gave Chris yesterday. 190 00:07:06,452 --> 00:07:08,920 - That actually worked. - Actually? 191 00:07:08,921 --> 00:07:10,221 Yeah. 192 00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:11,756 Thanks for the backhanded compliment. 193 00:07:11,757 --> 00:07:13,258 Oh, come on. 194 00:07:13,259 --> 00:07:16,094 You seriously blame me for doubting... you know, you? 195 00:07:16,095 --> 00:07:17,521 [Chuckles] 196 00:07:17,997 --> 00:07:19,864 You do realize I've been a parent for longer than you. 197 00:07:19,865 --> 00:07:22,967 I know. How ridiculous is that? 198 00:07:22,968 --> 00:07:24,469 You know what, my whole life 199 00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:26,438 you've criticized everything I've done. 200 00:07:26,439 --> 00:07:28,139 My haircuts, my eating habits, 201 00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:30,617 the names that I picked for pets. 202 00:07:31,143 --> 00:07:32,977 Mr. dog? 203 00:07:32,978 --> 00:07:36,580 But you question my parenting skills and you cross the line. 204 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,249 - I was totally kidding. - Get out. 205 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:41,920 But we're two houses away from the... 206 00:07:41,921 --> 00:07:43,822 - Out. - Are you kid... really? 207 00:07:43,823 --> 00:07:45,356 You're not gonna make a point by me walking 20 extra feet. 208 00:07:45,357 --> 00:07:47,025 - Please leave the car. - Fine. 209 00:07:47,026 --> 00:07:48,393 - Thank you. - Bye. 210 00:07:48,394 --> 00:07:50,161 - Can you unlock it please? - Okay. Go. 211 00:07:50,162 --> 00:07:51,863 No, now it's not. No. Now you locked it again. 212 00:07:51,864 --> 00:07:53,431 - [Lock clicks] - Okay, stop. Don't touch it. 213 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:56,100 Stop with your hand. It's unlocked now. 214 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:57,235 - Fine. - I will see you later. 215 00:07:57,236 --> 00:07:58,436 - Fine. - Take it easy. Bye. 216 00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:01,406 This is ridiculous! 217 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:08,739 Oh, wow! Oh, my... blah... seriously? 218 00:08:11,472 --> 00:08:14,494 ♪ 219 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:17,009 yeah, I bet he doesn't find it as funny as you do. 220 00:08:17,010 --> 00:08:18,978 As a younger brother myself, I didn't like it 221 00:08:18,979 --> 00:08:21,814 when Casey would joke around about my husky modeling. 222 00:08:21,815 --> 00:08:23,883 I will never stop laughing at that. 223 00:08:23,884 --> 00:08:25,418 Yeah. And neither did he. 224 00:08:25,419 --> 00:08:26,786 Which is why I think I got serious about 225 00:08:26,787 --> 00:08:28,387 getting in shape. 226 00:08:28,388 --> 00:08:29,989 Then maybe joking around was a good thing. 227 00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:32,425 You think I enjoy seeing food in terms of sit-ups? 228 00:08:32,426 --> 00:08:34,794 Which reminds me, why did I have gelato for dessert? 229 00:08:34,795 --> 00:08:36,266 What am I, insane? 230 00:08:36,267 --> 00:08:38,391 Oh, my God. Maybe I did damage him. 231 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:39,965 I mean, I tease him about his girlfriends, 232 00:08:39,966 --> 00:08:41,104 now he's divorced. 233 00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:43,469 I teased him about that leno chin of his, 234 00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:45,371 now he's got that Mountain beard thing. 235 00:08:45,372 --> 00:08:47,361 Your words have more weight than you think. 236 00:08:47,774 --> 00:08:51,510 Oh. 237 00:08:51,511 --> 00:08:52,845 All right, so just remember he's gonna try to trick me 238 00:08:52,846 --> 00:08:54,413 into setting a date to hang out 239 00:08:54,414 --> 00:08:55,714 and that's when you start buffering. 240 00:08:55,715 --> 00:08:56,882 Right. And when looking for guys for me, 241 00:08:56,883 --> 00:08:58,617 I prefer no tattoos. 242 00:08:58,618 --> 00:08:59,852 But if they have tattoos, then I want a lot of them. 243 00:08:59,853 --> 00:09:02,288 - Like sleeves. - Okay, yup. 244 00:09:02,289 --> 00:09:04,256 Hey! There he is. 245 00:09:04,257 --> 00:09:06,826 What's up, Chris? So glad you made it, man. 246 00:09:06,827 --> 00:09:08,394 I thought for sure you were gonna call me 247 00:09:08,395 --> 00:09:09,962 with one of those lame excuses... You know, 248 00:09:09,963 --> 00:09:11,997 "oh, my wife's in labor." [Chuckles] 249 00:09:11,998 --> 00:09:14,300 Well, Reagan couldn't make it so I brought my friend Ava here. 250 00:09:14,301 --> 00:09:15,868 - Hi. - Oh, hey. 251 00:09:15,869 --> 00:09:17,536 You're the one with the TV show, right? 252 00:09:17,537 --> 00:09:18,804 - Yes. - I never saw it. 253 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,874 - I don't have a TV. - Ah. How brave. 254 00:09:21,875 --> 00:09:23,676 So where's that pig? 255 00:09:23,677 --> 00:09:24,810 You are standing on it, my friend. 256 00:09:24,811 --> 00:09:25,945 Oh. [Sizzling] 257 00:09:25,946 --> 00:09:27,746 Yeah. 258 00:09:27,747 --> 00:09:29,381 Why put it on the grill when you can dig up your yard? 259 00:09:29,382 --> 00:09:30,916 Figured we cook it in an earth oven, 260 00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:33,155 or as the polynesians call it, "an imu." 261 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,782 No better way to do it. It is amazing... 262 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,742 Amazing. Yeah, there it is. 263 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,625 Hey, is this jazz record doing it for you? 264 00:09:39,626 --> 00:09:41,123 Or do you still only listen to the Cranberries? 265 00:09:41,124 --> 00:09:42,747 Like in the dorm? 266 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,530 Remember waiting for your mom to call you back 267 00:09:44,531 --> 00:09:45,731 on the common room phone? 268 00:09:45,732 --> 00:09:47,466 No, no, no. The jazz is great. 269 00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:48,868 You gotta come with me to this free jazz brunch. 270 00:09:48,869 --> 00:09:50,035 How's your Sunday looking? 271 00:09:50,036 --> 00:09:51,504 Uh... 272 00:09:51,505 --> 00:09:53,506 Oh! 273 00:09:53,507 --> 00:09:55,470 You're... into records? 274 00:09:55,471 --> 00:09:57,343 Try avid collector. 275 00:09:57,344 --> 00:09:59,545 I got a telefunken 220 turntable, 276 00:09:59,546 --> 00:10:02,225 air bearing tone arm with a vacuum clamp. 277 00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:05,176 I love vacuum clamps. 278 00:10:05,177 --> 00:10:07,979 And would like you to tell me more about them 279 00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:09,146 at great length. 280 00:10:09,147 --> 00:10:10,817 [Whispers] Find me my prince. 281 00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:14,318 Whoa. Hey. 282 00:10:14,319 --> 00:10:16,921 Let me guess. Limited-run craft beer in here, right? 283 00:10:16,922 --> 00:10:19,201 - [Chuckles] You know Jerry. - Yeah. 284 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:22,159 So, uh, W.Y.D. What's your deal? 285 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,999 You scoping out babes here? 286 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,331 Oh, no, I actually poured this for my girlfriend. 287 00:10:27,332 --> 00:10:28,799 Oh. Sweet. 288 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,234 Do your thing, bro. 289 00:10:30,235 --> 00:10:33,938 I mean, not 'cause you're black. 290 00:10:33,939 --> 00:10:34,972 [Sighs] 291 00:10:34,973 --> 00:10:36,807 What about you? 292 00:10:36,808 --> 00:10:39,844 You in the mood to fall in love? 293 00:10:39,845 --> 00:10:41,812 - Are you a cop? - No. 294 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,102 - Are you? - No. 295 00:10:46,076 --> 00:10:49,745 Reagan, I know I'm late, but my truck was too small 296 00:10:49,746 --> 00:10:51,680 for Kyle and his friends, so I had to go out 297 00:10:51,681 --> 00:10:52,817 and rent a van. 298 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,917 Which required my driver's license, 299 00:10:54,918 --> 00:10:56,785 which was in my wallet which I had left on a wall. 300 00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,721 Okay, yeah, don't worry about it. 301 00:10:58,722 --> 00:11:01,557 I'm constantly leaving stuff on walls. 302 00:11:01,558 --> 00:11:03,993 Oh. Cool. 303 00:11:03,994 --> 00:11:05,694 Hey, Scott... 304 00:11:05,695 --> 00:11:08,998 Listen, um, I'm sorry about yesterday. 305 00:11:08,999 --> 00:11:10,866 If you need anything just ask me, okay? 306 00:11:10,867 --> 00:11:13,435 - I am here to help. - Sweet. 307 00:11:13,436 --> 00:11:15,104 You can help me arm the kids with swords and shields. 308 00:11:15,105 --> 00:11:16,872 The party theme is game of thrones. 309 00:11:16,873 --> 00:11:18,941 Really? Game of thrones? 310 00:11:18,942 --> 00:11:21,477 Don't you think that's perhaps... 311 00:11:21,478 --> 00:11:26,448 Just too awesome of a theme for a seven-year-old's party? 312 00:11:26,449 --> 00:11:28,897 - I know, right? - Whoo! 313 00:11:28,898 --> 00:11:32,588 Oh, Ava, I would like to introduce you to Dr. Steven... 314 00:11:32,589 --> 00:11:34,957 - Last name which I do not know. - Hello. 315 00:11:34,958 --> 00:11:37,026 Sorry, not a match. 316 00:11:37,027 --> 00:11:38,794 Oh, sorry. 317 00:11:38,795 --> 00:11:40,829 Man, you are something else. You're way too picky. 318 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:43,065 I mean, come on. That guy was a doctor of some sort. 319 00:11:43,066 --> 00:11:46,135 But did you see the size of that guy's watch? 320 00:11:46,136 --> 00:11:48,037 His priorities are totally out of whack. 321 00:11:48,038 --> 00:11:49,672 Besides, he puts one arm around me, 322 00:11:49,673 --> 00:11:50,806 boom, broken clavicle. 323 00:11:50,807 --> 00:11:51,874 Pass. 324 00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:53,442 [Sighs] Ava. 325 00:11:53,443 --> 00:11:57,173 Hey, there, Jackson. Who is very handsome. 326 00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:58,914 Would you mind telling my friend Ava 327 00:11:58,915 --> 00:12:01,784 about your summer home in... Tuscany, was it? 328 00:12:01,785 --> 00:12:04,753 It's really just a villa. On a vineyard. 329 00:12:04,754 --> 00:12:06,933 - Do you like wine? - Not as much as I adore it. 330 00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:08,791 Great. Excuse me one second. 331 00:12:08,792 --> 00:12:10,326 Nice to meet you. 332 00:12:10,327 --> 00:12:11,994 [Kids yelling indistinctly] 333 00:12:11,995 --> 00:12:13,829 - Thanks again for doing this. - Yeah. 334 00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:15,397 Kyle's having a good time, right? 335 00:12:15,398 --> 00:12:16,932 Oh, yeah. Sounds like it. 336 00:12:16,933 --> 00:12:18,767 [Kids yelling indistinctly] 337 00:12:18,768 --> 00:12:23,772 Hey, um, should I or you or I go out there and watch the kids? 338 00:12:23,773 --> 00:12:25,910 At this age you're better off just letting them be. 339 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:27,343 All right. 340 00:12:27,344 --> 00:12:29,039 That parental gem's for free. 341 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,291 Oh. [Clicks tongue] Thank you. 342 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,292 Dad! 343 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:36,285 The sprinklers attacked us. 344 00:12:38,729 --> 00:12:40,823 [Grunts] 345 00:12:40,824 --> 00:12:44,126 This shouldn't take too long to dry... a few weeks. 346 00:12:44,127 --> 00:12:49,225 If you have any extra towels, maybe I can dry the ground? 347 00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,733 You know, I have a better idea. 348 00:12:50,734 --> 00:12:53,635 Why don't we take this wet campout to inside, guys? 349 00:12:53,636 --> 00:12:55,804 - Come on! - Aw, man. 350 00:12:55,805 --> 00:12:56,839 Go on inside. 351 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,318 All: [Groaning] 352 00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,975 [Grunts] 353 00:12:59,976 --> 00:13:02,411 Good work. You got it? 354 00:13:02,412 --> 00:13:03,979 Hitting the gym quite a bit so I'm good. 355 00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:06,949 - It's gonna be good. - [Grunts] 356 00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:08,550 - All right, everybody... - Chris. 357 00:13:08,551 --> 00:13:10,419 - Yeah? - Chris, come on. All right. 358 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:12,488 - Jackson's a no-go. - What's wrong with him? 359 00:13:12,489 --> 00:13:14,590 He eats one chip at a time no matter what the size 360 00:13:14,591 --> 00:13:17,860 in exactly four bites... Like, mwah, waah, mwah. 361 00:13:17,861 --> 00:13:20,062 Last bite's basically kissing fingertips. 362 00:13:20,063 --> 00:13:21,663 Ava, you're being so choosy. 363 00:13:21,664 --> 00:13:23,632 Look, the guy owns a vineyard. You love wine. 364 00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:25,701 I also love chips. 365 00:13:25,702 --> 00:13:27,703 Don't make me choose, Chris. 366 00:13:27,704 --> 00:13:29,037 Hey, Chris, didn't you bring this chick 367 00:13:29,038 --> 00:13:30,939 back to the dorm one night? 368 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,674 [Funny voice] Oh, I don't know, Chris. 369 00:13:32,675 --> 00:13:34,710 Is your roommate asleep? 370 00:13:34,711 --> 00:13:36,345 I wasn't. 371 00:13:36,346 --> 00:13:38,080 [Funny voice] Oh, I really... I'm not sure. 372 00:13:38,081 --> 00:13:40,682 Hey. Hey, Chris. I'm just messing around, man. 373 00:13:40,683 --> 00:13:42,751 - That girl wasn't that fat. - It's cool, Jerry. 374 00:13:42,752 --> 00:13:44,864 - I gotta be going home anyway. - Hey, look, man. 375 00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:47,089 Something's going on between us and you're not leaving here 376 00:13:47,090 --> 00:13:48,576 until we figure it out. 377 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:50,759 Nothing's wrong, Jer, okay? We just... we hung out. 378 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:54,062 I got pig juice all over my going-out slacks and... 379 00:13:54,063 --> 00:13:55,464 I'll see you next year, okay? 380 00:13:55,465 --> 00:13:56,598 - Come on, man. - Come on, Jerry. 381 00:13:56,599 --> 00:13:57,933 - Talk to me. - Come on, dude. 382 00:13:57,934 --> 00:13:59,902 No, I'm not letting you go. Come on. 383 00:13:59,903 --> 00:14:02,632 You wanna know what's wrong? You won't shut up about college. 384 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,807 - Because it was amazing. - No, it wasn't amazing. 385 00:14:04,808 --> 00:14:06,809 What's amazing is that you seem to be into everything, 386 00:14:06,810 --> 00:14:10,612 and yet we still have nothing in common. 387 00:14:10,613 --> 00:14:13,615 I'm sorry, Jerry. 388 00:14:17,954 --> 00:14:20,889 [Bleep], that beer is good. 389 00:14:28,431 --> 00:14:31,900 Kyle? I promised you s'mores and you're gonna get 'em. 390 00:14:31,901 --> 00:14:35,165 Oh, you're gonna make s'mores in my gas fireplace 391 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:36,749 with the fake logs? 392 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,294 That's... inspired. 393 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,962 Whoo! 394 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,444 Camping is so much fun. 395 00:14:42,445 --> 00:14:44,132 It doesn't even matter if you're, like, 396 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,548 inside or outside. 397 00:14:46,549 --> 00:14:48,083 [Blows] Whoa! 398 00:14:48,084 --> 00:14:49,585 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoop! 399 00:14:49,586 --> 00:14:51,320 Don't worry, I got it. Got it. Got it. 400 00:14:51,321 --> 00:14:54,790 - I wanna go home. - Yeah, this is no fun. 401 00:14:56,526 --> 00:14:58,938 All right, listen to me. 402 00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,996 Nobody is going nowhere. 403 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:02,485 Okay? 404 00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:05,501 'Cause we is makin' some s'mores. 405 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,604 Okay? All right. 406 00:15:08,605 --> 00:15:10,706 First dibs on that. Look at that. 407 00:15:10,707 --> 00:15:14,037 So tasty. Look at that. 408 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,878 Mm. 409 00:15:15,879 --> 00:15:18,647 Okay, don't eat those. Don't eat those. They're bad. 410 00:15:18,648 --> 00:15:20,315 Taste like fake logs. Very propan-y. 411 00:15:20,316 --> 00:15:22,251 Might die. Might die. Spitting out. 412 00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:28,427 Sorry about my... being weird at Jerry's party. I-- 413 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,728 oh, no, I get it. 414 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,763 You and Jerry just aren't compatible. 415 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,298 It's just like me and all men. 416 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:34,700 Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that. 417 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,268 What's happening? Seriously? 418 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,303 I just think I'm incredibly picky, 419 00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:39,938 always have been. 420 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,941 And I think that I'm just waiting 421 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:46,411 for my Christopher. 422 00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:48,490 Never should have let you fall into my baby blues. 423 00:15:48,491 --> 00:15:50,282 Your eyes are green. 424 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,750 Yeah, but they've got a lot of blue in there. 425 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,619 No, I didn't mean the Christopher. 426 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,207 Just so we're clear. I meant a Christopher. 427 00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:00,425 Right. No, no, no. No, I didn't mean... 428 00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:02,227 Look, I see how you are with Reagan. 429 00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:04,396 And I just feel like anything less 430 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,632 just isn't worth settling for. 431 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,569 Hey, can you just wait right here one second? 432 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,771 You can't change my mind. 433 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,848 I'm destined to be alone. 434 00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,909 You two lovebirds have a very special song. 435 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,227 What? 436 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,524 [Laughs] 437 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,216 Honey... 438 00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,451 Listen to me, okay? 439 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:30,113 First of all, this Christopher that you have been comparing 440 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,490 to all other men, 441 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,616 his actual name is just Chris. 442 00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,912 And he has many, many, many faults. 443 00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:39,622 Well, let's not get crazy with the "manys," but... 444 00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:43,002 First of all, his toenails are like box cutters, all right? 445 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,637 - Well, what am I gonna do? - Talk about ew, right? 446 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:48,440 Also he is terrible with confrontation... ooh! 447 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,242 I don't want to get into this. 448 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,943 And God forbid there's something wrong with his meal 449 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,945 at a restaurant... he will never send anything back. 450 00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:56,214 Just because I don't like the temperature of the meat 451 00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,682 doesn't mean somebody should lose their job. 452 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,851 And do you like a sharp nose poking your cheek 453 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,853 when you're trying to kiss someone? 454 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,221 Just... 455 00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,290 Well, you struck bone with that one. 456 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,758 I've been turning down guys 457 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,152 because they don't live up to him? 458 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,595 [Chuckles] 459 00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:12,430 All right, let's cool it with the laughter. 460 00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:13,865 Well, you know, there was one guy at the party I liked. 461 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,500 - [Snaps finger] - You did? 462 00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:18,470 - I knew it. Vineyard guy. - Jerry has a vineyard? 463 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,771 - No, mama. - No, no, no, no. 464 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,706 - Jerry? It can't be Jerry. - No! 465 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,876 - He's not even a candidate. - Look, I know it sounds crazy. 466 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,812 But I was too closed off when I was caught up in the Ava show 467 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,841 and Jerry is literally open to everything. 468 00:17:29,842 --> 00:17:32,925 And maybe that's what I need right now. 469 00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:36,389 So Jerry is a match. Thanks, guys. 470 00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,824 [Kisses] 471 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,493 Wow, you were right by the way, that is one pokey nose. 472 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,495 - I know, right? - Oh, come on. 473 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,304 Hey. 474 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,206 Have they been asleep for long? 475 00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:55,473 Yeah, but I was thinking about maybe waking them up 476 00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:58,310 for a midnight game of scream-tag. 477 00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,495 - Scream-tag? - Yeah. 478 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,206 It's like tag, but with screams. 479 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,835 Oh. That sounds like... 480 00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:09,128 - A horrible idea. - A horrible idea. 481 00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:10,755 What's with you tonight? 482 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,891 You're acting all nice and it's, like, freaking me out. 483 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,427 Listen, Scott. 484 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:20,232 I criticized you your whole life, and I just feel like 485 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,367 it might have had sort of a negative effect 486 00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,519 on the way that you turned out. 487 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,230 - And how did I turn out? - Well, you know. 488 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:31,484 Come on, you know. Sort of rough around the edges. 489 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:35,247 But listen it's my fault, okay? I take full responsibility. 490 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,782 Oh, my God. Your ego is insane. 491 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,384 No, listen to me. It's okay. 492 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:40,986 It's okay. 493 00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:44,332 I was a model kid, you know? And you were kind of a mess. 494 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,691 So you couldn't compete with that. 495 00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:47,893 I understand. 496 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,754 So you rebelled and you became this. 497 00:18:49,755 --> 00:18:52,564 I'm sorry to blow up your little theory, 498 00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:53,899 but you weren't the model. 499 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,401 You were the cautionary tale. 500 00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:57,869 Which is why I don't live my life 501 00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:00,014 like drill sergeant Barbie. 502 00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:01,640 Oh. Okay. 503 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,808 Yeah, you're really killing it, Scotty. 504 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,177 You flooded my yard. You burned my carpet. 505 00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:07,946 You let little boys play with swords? 506 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:10,248 - Boys love weaponry. - Oh, really? 507 00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:11,950 Oh, this is safe? Huh? 508 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,385 This is safe? Here? That's safe? 509 00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:14,886 - Ow. Come on. Stop. - You like that? 510 00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,621 - Fine, you wanna play? - You want a little violence? 511 00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:19,691 Ow! Ow! Ow! I didn't hit you that hard! 512 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,393 Stop it! Ow! 513 00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,795 Kids, kids, kids, kids. 514 00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:27,499 All right. 515 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,701 Well, you can say good-bye to these. 516 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,876 [Kids yelling indistinctly] 517 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:40,812 Kyle? Guys? 518 00:19:43,784 --> 00:19:46,085 - What's happening? - Scream-tag. 519 00:19:46,086 --> 00:19:48,121 I wasn't sure if it's the person who is it 520 00:19:48,122 --> 00:19:50,423 who is supposed to be screaming or the person who's being chased 521 00:19:50,424 --> 00:19:53,065 who is supposed to be screaming so I just had them all scream. 522 00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:54,393 This is great, dad! 523 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,736 Thanks for saving Kyle's sleepover. 524 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:59,565 It's my pleasure. 525 00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:01,400 I'm sorry about what I said last night. 526 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,169 - Seriously, Scott. - That's okay. 527 00:20:03,170 --> 00:20:05,286 Your narcissism comes from a good place. 528 00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:08,141 I know. It really does, all right? 529 00:20:08,142 --> 00:20:09,976 - I'm gonna go make breakfast. - Okay. 530 00:20:09,977 --> 00:20:11,511 Should I make my famous homemade donuts? 531 00:20:11,512 --> 00:20:12,912 The kids can help me deep fry the... 532 00:20:12,913 --> 00:20:15,014 You know what? I can just make the breakfast. 533 00:20:15,015 --> 00:20:16,649 And why don't you just go and play... 534 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:20,019 - [Yells] - With the kids. 535 00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:23,456 [Kids yelling indistinctly] 536 00:20:23,457 --> 00:20:25,391 [Yells] 537 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,834 Well, this music is magical. 538 00:20:44,835 --> 00:20:47,787 I like how I can't follow it. Really keeps me on my toes. 539 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,906 This is all about freedom! 540 00:20:49,907 --> 00:20:52,375 They're doing whatever they want! 541 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:56,631 It's a true American art form. 542 00:20:57,214 --> 00:21:00,083 Hey, now we really do have something in common. 543 00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:02,470 - She's amazing. - Yeah, she's amazing. 544 00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,587 You do realize that if this works out 545 00:21:04,588 --> 00:21:06,255 between the two of them, that he will be 546 00:21:06,256 --> 00:21:07,457 in our lives forever. 547 00:21:07,458 --> 00:21:08,558 - Right, honey? - Yeah. 548 00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,393 Okay. 549 00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:12,895 I can't believe we let him "Jerry rig" the whole thing. 550 00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:14,964 "Jerry rig." That's another one I missed. 551 00:21:14,965 --> 00:21:18,000 - I mean, come on. - I've said it so many times. 552 00:21:18,001 --> 00:21:20,502 - You have said it? - It doesn't matter. I love you.