1 00:00:04,075 --> 00:00:05,858 If somebody told me a few months ago, 2 00:00:05,859 --> 00:00:07,956 that I'd get to spend the summer in Manhattan, 3 00:00:07,957 --> 00:00:09,116 not Chatswin, 4 00:00:09,417 --> 00:00:11,894 I'd have said, "when hell freezes over". 5 00:00:11,895 --> 00:00:12,895 Tickets please. Tickets. 6 00:00:14,205 --> 00:00:15,594 (Click) Tickets. 7 00:00:15,650 --> 00:00:17,878 But that's exactly what happened. 8 00:00:17,998 --> 00:00:19,630 So while everyone else was 9 00:00:19,649 --> 00:00:21,538 cultivating stage III skin cancer 10 00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:22,877 at the Chatswin Country Club... 11 00:00:22,925 --> 00:00:24,292 (Hissing) Get my colita, Carmen. 12 00:00:24,329 --> 00:00:26,299 I was making a reverse commute. 13 00:00:28,301 --> 00:00:32,067 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 14 00:00:32,067 --> 00:00:35,251 I had found an exit strategy George couldn't say no to. 15 00:00:35,314 --> 00:00:36,953 I had found my grandmother, 16 00:00:37,022 --> 00:00:39,881 or, more accurately, she had found me. 17 00:00:39,916 --> 00:00:41,803 And since mom had gone A.W.O.L. 18 00:00:41,815 --> 00:00:43,435 And was living in Europe somewhere, 19 00:00:43,469 --> 00:00:45,869 these pictures were the closest I was gonna get 20 00:00:45,882 --> 00:00:46,986 to a face-to-face. 21 00:00:47,020 --> 00:00:50,524 (Charizma & Peanut Butter Wolf's "My world premiere" playing) 22 00:00:50,559 --> 00:00:52,732 I spent my summer living in a loophole. 23 00:00:52,732 --> 00:00:55,345 * Let's get dramatic 'cause I'm new with no static * 24 00:00:55,372 --> 00:00:58,099 (Lights clank) (Tessa) But like all loopholes, eventually it had to close. 25 00:00:58,117 --> 00:01:01,553 Sorry, guys. The Loophole closes at 3:00 a.m. now. 26 00:01:01,587 --> 00:01:05,257 (Train horn blows) 27 00:01:08,055 --> 00:01:10,212 (Man over P.A.) Station stop is Chatswin. 28 00:01:10,246 --> 00:01:12,629 Chatswin, bitches. 29 00:01:12,666 --> 00:01:15,784 (Indistinct conversations) 30 00:01:18,047 --> 00:01:19,273 (Tessa) Dad! 31 00:01:19,648 --> 00:01:20,574 Dad! 32 00:01:20,643 --> 00:01:22,684 Hey! I know you. 33 00:01:22,733 --> 00:01:23,905 Hi, dad. 34 00:01:23,939 --> 00:01:25,311 Mm! 35 00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:26,541 Nice jacket. 36 00:01:26,575 --> 00:01:28,476 Thanks. It, uh, 37 00:01:28,510 --> 00:01:29,740 it used to be my mom's. 38 00:01:30,347 --> 00:01:31,896 Oh? 39 00:01:33,139 --> 00:01:35,673 So... (Clears throat) what was the best part 40 00:01:35,689 --> 00:01:37,285 about staying with your grandmother? 41 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:39,837 Mm, probably how early she goes to bed. 42 00:01:39,888 --> 00:01:41,556 (Laughs) 43 00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:43,741 So how have things been here? 44 00:01:43,776 --> 00:01:45,526 Quiet. 45 00:01:45,544 --> 00:01:47,695 Anything from the ex? 46 00:01:47,729 --> 00:01:49,914 Eden? No, not a word. 47 00:01:49,948 --> 00:01:52,296 I think I knew it wasn't gonna work. 48 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:53,751 I think we both did. 49 00:01:53,786 --> 00:01:55,787 I definitely did. 50 00:01:55,821 --> 00:01:58,047 I meant her and I. 51 00:01:58,167 --> 00:02:00,591 Well, then all three of us then. We all knew. 52 00:02:01,507 --> 00:02:03,659 Love may have eluded George, 53 00:02:03,693 --> 00:02:05,977 but elsewhere, it was blooming. 54 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,096 I'm tired of pretending, 55 00:02:08,131 --> 00:02:11,340 pretending that I can live without you. I can't. 56 00:02:11,818 --> 00:02:14,086 I want you back, woman, 57 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:18,066 and I am not gonna rest until you say you're mine. 58 00:02:18,186 --> 00:02:20,493 Say it! Say you're mine. 59 00:02:20,537 --> 00:02:21,941 Can I get either of you a drink? 60 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,178 What'll it be, Carmen? 61 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:26,669 You want a horchata or margarita? Sangria? 62 00:02:26,789 --> 00:02:29,459 They also have a variety of Caucasian beverages. 63 00:02:29,579 --> 00:02:31,969 Actually, sir, we just switched over to our winter drink menu. 64 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,115 If Carmen wants a horchata... 65 00:02:34,165 --> 00:02:35,722 Diet soda, please. 66 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,507 No ice. 67 00:02:37,541 --> 00:02:38,908 Make it dos. 68 00:02:38,942 --> 00:02:40,760 Thanks. 69 00:02:40,795 --> 00:02:41,898 Carmen... 70 00:02:42,018 --> 00:02:44,576 you helped raise our first baby, and she went Ivy League. 71 00:02:44,576 --> 00:02:46,153 I want a repeat performance. 72 00:02:46,191 --> 00:02:47,623 I understand, 73 00:02:47,886 --> 00:02:50,539 - but Miss Dallas... - Look, with Jill away on the book tour, 74 00:02:50,558 --> 00:02:52,178 all that baby has is me. 75 00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:53,656 So if I screw up, 76 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,113 that's on you. 77 00:02:57,603 --> 00:02:59,086 I have to go. 78 00:02:59,111 --> 00:03:00,706 Carmen, don't leave. 79 00:03:00,725 --> 00:03:02,289 Carmen! Carmen! 80 00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:05,712 Carmen, I'll make it simple. 81 00:03:05,832 --> 00:03:08,158 Come back to Casa de Werner, 82 00:03:08,158 --> 00:03:11,224 and I'll make it really, really worth your while. 83 00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:13,941 (Babbles) 84 00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:16,079 Can you be more specific? 85 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,063 A gold Corolla? 86 00:03:19,094 --> 00:03:20,932 Carmen, you don't even have a license! 87 00:03:20,966 --> 00:03:23,034 Well, what gold thing have you given me? 88 00:03:23,052 --> 00:03:25,112 Nothing. Not one gold thing. 89 00:03:25,125 --> 00:03:26,938 Carmen, that is unfactual! 90 00:03:26,972 --> 00:03:28,779 You know we can't live without you. 91 00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:30,224 Then counter. 92 00:03:30,274 --> 00:03:31,242 Counter? 93 00:03:31,276 --> 00:03:33,478 You know what? This is crummy. 94 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,892 We have been through a lot together, 95 00:03:34,897 --> 00:03:36,387 and now you're leveraging me? 96 00:03:36,387 --> 00:03:37,776 Who's leveraging you, mommy? 97 00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:39,603 Dalia, honey, Carmen's thinking of leaving. 98 00:03:39,615 --> 00:03:42,669 - Bye, Carmen. - Not just leaving for now. Leaving for good. 99 00:03:42,701 --> 00:03:45,434 - Bye for good, Carmen. - Dalia, you're not thinking! 100 00:03:45,482 --> 00:03:46,811 Who will put you to sleep at night? 101 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,038 Who will make you taquitos post-pilates? 102 00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,300 Stop shaking her! 103 00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,622 Who will tell me to stop shaking you when I shake you? 104 00:03:52,742 --> 00:03:54,649 'Cause you know I'm inclined to shake you, girl. 105 00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:57,158 I would just like to point out that by now, 106 00:03:57,214 --> 00:04:00,574 old George would be grilling you for details on your summer, 107 00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:03,966 but you'll notice new George... he isn't going there. 108 00:04:04,086 --> 00:04:06,562 - Cool. - It's not that new George isn't curious... he is... 109 00:04:06,606 --> 00:04:09,077 but he knows you're practically an adult, 110 00:04:09,121 --> 00:04:11,474 and you want people to respect your privacy. He gets it. 111 00:04:11,508 --> 00:04:13,908 I mean, new George sounds great. 112 00:04:14,028 --> 00:04:16,185 So you know where to find new George if you need him. 113 00:04:16,305 --> 00:04:17,630 He'll be hanging out, 114 00:04:18,037 --> 00:04:19,664 doing your laundry. 115 00:04:21,672 --> 00:04:27,922 (Alih Jay) * last night I had a pleasant nightmare * 116 00:04:27,922 --> 00:04:30,238 ♪ da-da-da-da, da, da, da, da ♪ 117 00:04:31,702 --> 00:04:33,892 The jacket wasn't the only thing I stumbled on 118 00:04:33,879 --> 00:04:35,900 during my summer in Manhattan. 119 00:04:41,219 --> 00:04:43,121 I also found an old cassette tape 120 00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:46,606 and a newfound interest in my mom. 121 00:04:56,902 --> 00:04:59,094 (Acoustic guitar playing) 122 00:04:59,113 --> 00:05:01,109 (Woman) * against a woolen sweater * 123 00:05:01,109 --> 00:05:02,535 Early McLachlan? (Gasps) 124 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:04,143 Lisa! (Sighs) 125 00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:07,433 I hide in your room sometimes when you're not home. 126 00:05:08,197 --> 00:05:09,479 Who's the crooner? 127 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,945 (Clears throat) Apparently... 128 00:05:12,376 --> 00:05:13,671 my mom. 129 00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:15,642 I found a box of her stuff at my grandma's place. 130 00:05:15,673 --> 00:05:17,650 She's... good. 131 00:05:17,713 --> 00:05:18,726 Right? 132 00:05:18,989 --> 00:05:20,491 I'm not a record producer, Tessa. 133 00:05:20,503 --> 00:05:22,136 I've never claimed to be. 134 00:05:22,392 --> 00:05:24,964 I mean, could she play an intimate venue? 135 00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:28,699 Maybe. But if you're asking me if she could sell out an arena? 136 00:05:28,711 --> 00:05:31,277 - I'm not. - Good. 'Cause I'm not comfortable speculating. 137 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:32,910 I wonder if she knew she wanted to be a singer 138 00:05:32,929 --> 00:05:34,412 when she was my age. 139 00:05:34,532 --> 00:05:36,513 Yeah. She did. 140 00:05:36,526 --> 00:05:37,577 (Music stops) 141 00:05:37,589 --> 00:05:39,898 I wonder if I'm like her. 142 00:05:40,236 --> 00:05:42,338 I mean, it'd be cool if I was like her in some way, 143 00:05:42,351 --> 00:05:43,126 wouldn't it? 144 00:05:43,195 --> 00:05:45,379 Cool? Tessa, I'm not Carson Daly, 145 00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:47,237 but if you can sing like her, 146 00:05:47,243 --> 00:05:50,022 you could definitely hold your own in the Fall Follies. 147 00:05:50,072 --> 00:05:52,681 Fall Follies? What is it? Some stupid talent show? 148 00:05:52,913 --> 00:05:55,772 (Laughs) 149 00:05:56,185 --> 00:05:56,986 Yes. 150 00:05:57,242 --> 00:05:58,662 (Playing "taps") (Lisa) You see, child, 151 00:05:58,782 --> 00:06:02,097 every year when the pool closes for the season, 152 00:06:02,366 --> 00:06:05,903 the umbrellas come down, the awnings go up, 153 00:06:05,954 --> 00:06:08,047 then and only then... 154 00:06:08,053 --> 00:06:11,295 (Pen clicks) is the sign-up for the Fall Follies posted. 155 00:06:11,326 --> 00:06:12,233 People around here 156 00:06:12,258 --> 00:06:14,292 take the Follies pretty seriously, Tessa. 157 00:06:14,655 --> 00:06:16,620 My family participates every year, 158 00:06:16,632 --> 00:06:19,861 and every year, my brother Ryan gets the solo. 159 00:06:20,092 --> 00:06:24,639 But this year, there's gonna be an upset. 160 00:06:24,673 --> 00:06:27,150 Lisa, is this from you? 161 00:06:27,432 --> 00:06:29,140 Because that's a cornish game hen. 162 00:06:29,311 --> 00:06:30,444 Sit down, mother. 163 00:06:31,446 --> 00:06:34,098 You're acting very peculiar. 164 00:06:34,526 --> 00:06:36,209 This reminds me of the time 165 00:06:36,216 --> 00:06:38,581 you chewed that entire package of aspergum. 166 00:06:38,875 --> 00:06:40,239 Did you chew something... 167 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,968 I know, mother. 168 00:06:42,003 --> 00:06:44,681 I'm quite sure that I don't know what you are talking about. 169 00:06:44,681 --> 00:06:46,172 I know. 170 00:06:46,207 --> 00:06:48,642 Now you listen to me. 171 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,712 It was 1991. "Jungle Fever" had just come out... 172 00:06:51,725 --> 00:06:53,589 I was talking about Ryan. 173 00:06:54,027 --> 00:06:55,765 I know he's adopted. 174 00:06:58,019 --> 00:07:00,037 Fred, get in here. 175 00:07:00,237 --> 00:07:03,165 What's going on? Why is everyone seated? 176 00:07:03,203 --> 00:07:03,872 Oh, is it dinner? 177 00:07:03,897 --> 00:07:06,324 She knows, Fred. Lisa knows. 178 00:07:06,853 --> 00:07:09,797 Oh. Look, it started out mostly as bachelorette parties. 179 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,655 I was trying to earn money for college. 180 00:07:11,687 --> 00:07:13,295 She knows about Ryan. 181 00:07:13,415 --> 00:07:14,402 Oh. 182 00:07:14,639 --> 00:07:15,828 Uh... 183 00:07:15,879 --> 00:07:18,149 Okay, now, Lisa, you have to understand. 184 00:07:18,181 --> 00:07:20,666 Back then, we thought your mother was barren. 185 00:07:20,717 --> 00:07:22,000 Turned out I was just frigid. 186 00:07:22,035 --> 00:07:23,685 She couldn't feel joy inside. 187 00:07:23,703 --> 00:07:25,921 Until the day we adopted Ryan. 188 00:07:25,955 --> 00:07:27,642 He was just a few hours old, 189 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:31,870 but already, he had the most adorable little six-pack. 190 00:07:32,512 --> 00:07:35,117 We couldn't figure out why our baby was so ripped 191 00:07:35,124 --> 00:07:37,232 until we met his birth mother. 192 00:07:39,969 --> 00:07:42,068 This is pre-pregnancy, I assume. 193 00:07:42,131 --> 00:07:42,855 Oh, no. 194 00:07:42,906 --> 00:07:44,596 She's full-term. 195 00:07:44,608 --> 00:07:46,648 Oh. That woman put us through hell. 196 00:07:46,648 --> 00:07:48,718 She changed her mind, then unchanged it, 197 00:07:48,724 --> 00:07:50,983 then rechanged it, then changed it back again. 198 00:07:51,258 --> 00:07:53,355 When we got pregnant with the backup baby, 199 00:07:53,355 --> 00:07:55,128 we were relieved, but... 200 00:07:56,035 --> 00:07:58,754 part of us knew that she'd come back for him. 201 00:07:59,195 --> 00:08:00,609 So we moved to Chatswin 202 00:08:00,609 --> 00:08:02,386 and altered the spelling of our last name, 203 00:08:02,386 --> 00:08:04,094 and we haven't heard from her since. 204 00:08:04,521 --> 00:08:05,872 I see. 205 00:08:05,906 --> 00:08:08,467 Well, that all sounds very tidy. 206 00:08:09,124 --> 00:08:11,107 And if you want it to stay tidy, 207 00:08:11,289 --> 00:08:13,817 things are gonna change. 208 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,525 - (Noah) Hey, George. - In the kitchen! 209 00:08:21,513 --> 00:08:23,590 - Hey. - Hey, buddy. 210 00:08:23,673 --> 00:08:25,873 You've gotta be kidding me. 211 00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:28,357 It's an iced coffee. Don't judge me. 212 00:08:28,477 --> 00:08:31,464 What is your father doing to you? Huh? 213 00:08:32,698 --> 00:08:34,113 We're on our own here, George. 214 00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,877 Opus and me... we're flying solo. 215 00:08:35,934 --> 00:08:37,817 That's why I need you to talk to your girl. 216 00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:40,351 I got a cease and desist letter this morning from her lawyer. 217 00:08:40,471 --> 00:08:43,242 - (Laughs) Have you been trying to poach Carmen from Dallas? - No. 218 00:08:43,362 --> 00:08:45,869 I'm trying to recruit Carmen for Opus. There's a big difference. 219 00:08:46,069 --> 00:08:48,265 So you're saying she was looking for a job on her own? 220 00:08:48,271 --> 00:08:49,980 Are you calling me out in front of my baby? 221 00:08:49,992 --> 00:08:51,916 Who calls a man out in front of his baby? 222 00:08:51,951 --> 00:08:54,703 Hey. Oh. And still with the, uh, jacket, huh? 223 00:08:54,709 --> 00:08:56,473 You sure you don't want me to get that dry-cleaned for you? 224 00:08:56,510 --> 00:08:58,268 Whew! Tessa. (Squishing sound) 225 00:08:58,524 --> 00:09:01,466 - Oh, it's him. Sorry. My brood has poo'd. - Oh! 226 00:09:01,510 --> 00:09:02,577 Ugh. 227 00:09:02,611 --> 00:09:04,212 - Dad? - Yeah? 228 00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:05,932 Can I borrow your guitar? 229 00:09:06,899 --> 00:09:08,685 Aha! 230 00:09:08,963 --> 00:09:11,822 (Imitates British accent) Has someone been lured to the Isle of Harmonia? 231 00:09:11,847 --> 00:09:14,205 Does thou need a trusty steed 232 00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:18,297 to transport ye to the knoll of rock 'n' rollia? 233 00:09:18,939 --> 00:09:19,661 Never mind. 234 00:09:19,686 --> 00:09:20,700 (Normal voice) Sorry. Sorry. It's yours. 235 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:21,964 I'll stop talking like that. 236 00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:23,559 So about the guitar... 237 00:09:23,591 --> 00:09:24,804 Yeah? 238 00:09:24,924 --> 00:09:26,987 I'm thinking of signing up for the Fall Follies thingy... 239 00:09:27,006 --> 00:09:29,221 - Yeah? - You know, since music runs in my blood. 240 00:09:29,246 --> 00:09:31,235 Yes! You're darned right it does. 241 00:09:31,235 --> 00:09:32,787 In fact, when... when I get a paper cut, 242 00:09:32,824 --> 00:09:34,082 it sounds a little something like... 243 00:09:34,069 --> 00:09:35,840 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 244 00:09:35,906 --> 00:09:38,007 ♪ whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪ 245 00:09:38,041 --> 00:09:40,557 I decided to let George enjoy his solo. 246 00:09:40,588 --> 00:09:42,327 I didn't have the heart to tell him 247 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:44,693 it wasn't his blood I was referring to. 248 00:09:45,287 --> 00:09:52,705 (Jazz music playing) 249 00:09:52,756 --> 00:09:55,141 There. Right there. See that, Fred? 250 00:09:55,192 --> 00:09:57,474 See... see how your hand is open? 251 00:09:57,512 --> 00:09:58,757 You're losing the paw. 252 00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:00,527 This is the jazz hands section. 253 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:01,998 It's the jazz paws section. 254 00:10:01,979 --> 00:10:03,462 Stop talking. Here comes the best part. 255 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:06,715 * Get my dinner from a garbage can * 256 00:10:06,753 --> 00:10:08,048 (Cheers and applause) 257 00:10:08,168 --> 00:10:10,069 (Laughs) 258 00:10:10,554 --> 00:10:11,883 (Cheers and applause continue) 259 00:10:11,926 --> 00:10:13,472 - Fantastic. - Thanks, dad. 260 00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:14,635 You're so good. I love that. 261 00:10:14,686 --> 00:10:16,476 Okay, that's enough. 262 00:10:16,527 --> 00:10:17,564 Let's rehearse. 263 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:20,663 Okay. Lots of energy from the top, guys. 264 00:10:20,697 --> 00:10:23,833 This is our last dress before the tech, 265 00:10:23,867 --> 00:10:25,852 so don't hold back, gang. 266 00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:28,783 Mom, I'm thinking I'm-a doing it a little higher this year. 267 00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:30,003 You didn't tell him? 268 00:10:30,028 --> 00:10:31,141 ♪ Dinner from a garbage ♪ 269 00:10:31,141 --> 00:10:32,030 (Falsetto voice) * can * 270 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,292 Tell him. 271 00:10:33,327 --> 00:10:34,777 Tell me what? 272 00:10:34,811 --> 00:10:38,655 Tell him, or I will tell him everything. 273 00:10:41,176 --> 00:10:43,235 Ryan, your father and I have decided 274 00:10:43,241 --> 00:10:44,667 to give Lisa the solo this year. 275 00:10:44,787 --> 00:10:45,756 What? 276 00:10:46,976 --> 00:10:47,895 Why? 277 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,425 Get out of the can, son. 278 00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:51,343 - No. - It's Lisa's turn. 279 00:10:51,395 --> 00:10:53,258 She's gonna sing the line this year. 280 00:10:53,283 --> 00:10:54,240 - Mm. No. - Yes. 281 00:10:54,281 --> 00:10:55,735 - Everybody loves when I do it. - Get out of the can. 282 00:10:55,792 --> 00:10:57,299 This is the part that they love best. 283 00:10:57,301 --> 00:10:59,245 Yes, but now it's Lisa's turn to be loved best. 284 00:10:59,245 --> 00:11:00,859 - Get out of the can. Let's get out of the can. - No. No. (Hisses) 285 00:11:00,872 --> 00:11:02,254 He's in character, Fred. He's in character! 286 00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:04,240 - Get the mister. Get up. Get out of the can. - Aah! 287 00:11:04,258 --> 00:11:07,359 - Shake him out. Shake him out. Get out of the can, Ryan! - You get out of the can now. Get out! 288 00:11:07,428 --> 00:11:10,074 (Grunts and hisses) Shoo. 289 00:11:10,194 --> 00:11:12,698 (Shelia) Are you happy now, Lisa? Are you happy?! 290 00:11:12,749 --> 00:11:14,313 (Hisses) 291 00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:16,113 Why, yes, mother. 292 00:11:16,233 --> 00:11:18,498 Yes, I am. 293 00:11:21,295 --> 00:11:25,731 There are just a few small scratches on the body... 294 00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:27,731 One right there, 295 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:32,163 and then a tiny crack on the... one, two, three... fourth fret. 296 00:11:32,714 --> 00:11:36,223 Other than that, she is in mint condish. 297 00:11:37,651 --> 00:11:40,729 I'll just initial it for you. 298 00:11:40,798 --> 00:11:42,068 (Strings resonate) 299 00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:43,351 Enjoy. 300 00:11:43,471 --> 00:11:44,999 Thanks. (Strings resonate) 301 00:11:45,050 --> 00:11:47,005 (Chuckles) 302 00:11:47,055 --> 00:11:49,353 (Chuckles) Looks good on you. 303 00:11:49,387 --> 00:11:53,507 (Playing chords) 304 00:11:53,541 --> 00:11:55,702 That's not supposed to be "Peace Train," is it? 305 00:11:55,771 --> 00:11:57,197 - No. - 'Cause you really gotta open it up 306 00:11:57,204 --> 00:11:59,361 - if you're doing "Peace Train." - I'm not doing "Peace Train," George. 307 00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:00,662 Oh, okay. 308 00:12:00,782 --> 00:12:02,399 I'm actually 309 00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:04,368 trying to learn a song that my mom wrote. 310 00:12:05,837 --> 00:12:06,804 Oh. 311 00:12:06,838 --> 00:12:09,447 Uh, f... first the jacket? Now the music? 312 00:12:09,567 --> 00:12:11,759 I didn't... I didn't know you were... 313 00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:14,261 You were interested in that kinda... thing. 314 00:12:14,312 --> 00:12:17,543 Well, I... I wasn't before. 315 00:12:18,566 --> 00:12:19,883 But now I am. 316 00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:22,803 Yeah. 317 00:12:22,837 --> 00:12:25,075 Is that... 318 00:12:25,490 --> 00:12:26,440 cool? 319 00:12:26,491 --> 00:12:29,526 Cool? Yeah, of course it's cool. 320 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,612 Why wouldn't it be cool? 321 00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,480 Yeah. (Laughs) 322 00:12:38,870 --> 00:12:41,199 - Lisa is out of control. - (Lowered voice) I know. 323 00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:42,643 Do you know she deleted 324 00:12:42,655 --> 00:12:45,353 all my "Californications" from the DVR? 325 00:12:45,387 --> 00:12:46,966 (Whispers) Who deleted those... 326 00:12:46,985 --> 00:12:48,975 filthy recordings doesn't matter. 327 00:12:49,095 --> 00:12:51,139 What matters is Lisa has to be stopped. 328 00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,916 I knew we shouldn't have kept all the family secrets 329 00:12:52,916 --> 00:12:55,309 in the potting shed. It's too accessible. 330 00:12:55,343 --> 00:12:57,602 Lisa knows that the thought of losing Ryan 331 00:12:57,627 --> 00:12:58,929 terrifies us more than anything. 332 00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:00,930 So all we have to figure out is 333 00:13:00,949 --> 00:13:03,639 what terrifies her more than anything. 334 00:13:05,303 --> 00:13:07,637 I think we both know the answer to that. 335 00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:10,490 (Gasps) (Doorbell rings) 336 00:13:11,203 --> 00:13:12,818 Carmen. Door. 337 00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:14,324 (Dallas) I'll get it! 338 00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:16,793 Don't you dare move, Carmen! I got it! 339 00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:18,795 (Door opens and closes) 340 00:13:18,829 --> 00:13:20,497 (Rustling) 341 00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:23,805 Psst! Dalia, this is for Carmen. 342 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,669 Quick! Help me burn it before she sees. 343 00:13:25,789 --> 00:13:26,452 (Mouth full) Okay. 344 00:13:26,470 --> 00:13:27,854 Dalia Oprah, 345 00:13:27,888 --> 00:13:31,091 we are in clear and present danger of losing Carmen. 346 00:13:32,510 --> 00:13:35,439 Uncle Noah keeps sending her all kinds of gift baskets, 347 00:13:35,489 --> 00:13:36,696 trying to steal her away. 348 00:13:36,721 --> 00:13:39,674 This week alone, I have burned three dozen roses, 349 00:13:39,794 --> 00:13:41,050 cruise tickets, 350 00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:43,358 and a plush white Teddy Bear, and now... 351 00:13:43,478 --> 00:13:44,042 (Thud) 352 00:13:44,042 --> 00:13:45,812 I have to burn these lemon bars. 353 00:13:46,263 --> 00:13:47,297 (Hissing) (Gasps) 354 00:13:47,331 --> 00:13:50,300 It's no use. They won't take. 355 00:13:50,318 --> 00:13:52,481 They're just caramelizing, getting more delicious. 356 00:13:52,493 --> 00:13:56,404 (Gasps) Look at that. It's downright brulée'd. 357 00:13:56,607 --> 00:13:57,574 (Hissing stops) 358 00:14:00,261 --> 00:14:01,912 (Mouth full) Oh, no! 359 00:14:01,946 --> 00:14:04,602 Dalia, they're scrumptious. 360 00:14:04,658 --> 00:14:06,216 (Hissing) 361 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,469 Are those my lemon bars? 362 00:14:08,488 --> 00:14:10,659 That's it. I've had enough! 363 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,523 Wait, Carmen! Don't leave! 364 00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,813 I know what you did to that Teddy Bear. 365 00:14:14,933 --> 00:14:16,296 Oh! Oh! 366 00:14:18,041 --> 00:14:21,707 Oh! Look at the soot, Carmen! You gotta clean up the soot! 367 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:22,915 Look at all this Teddy bear soot. 368 00:14:22,934 --> 00:14:24,579 You don't want me tracking Teddy Bear soot 369 00:14:24,554 --> 00:14:26,243 all through the house, do you? 370 00:14:26,363 --> 00:14:28,927 Mommy, I got this. 371 00:14:29,729 --> 00:14:31,680 Carmen... 372 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,814 I just want to let you know that 373 00:14:34,096 --> 00:14:37,336 even if you decide not to be a housekeeper anymore, 374 00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:39,471 I'll always think of you as a housekeeper. 375 00:14:39,522 --> 00:14:42,342 Even if you, like, cure cancer, 376 00:14:42,992 --> 00:14:45,444 to me, you'll always be a housekeeper. 377 00:14:46,297 --> 00:14:48,568 And I want you to know that. 378 00:14:53,686 --> 00:14:56,121 I'm not sure that worked. 379 00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,356 (Playing chords) 380 00:14:57,390 --> 00:15:01,057 (Humming) 381 00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:05,531 Here you go, sir. (Coins clatter) 382 00:15:10,017 --> 00:15:13,139 Have you ever employed someone who meant the world to you? 383 00:15:13,823 --> 00:15:14,923 No. 384 00:15:15,529 --> 00:15:17,475 I lost my nanny today, 385 00:15:17,595 --> 00:15:21,229 and the worst part is what I just said two seconds ago. 386 00:15:21,348 --> 00:15:22,600 No offense, Dalia, 387 00:15:22,582 --> 00:15:24,783 but why does someone your age need a nanny anyway? 388 00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:27,730 When your day is dark, a nanny can make it light 389 00:15:27,850 --> 00:15:29,438 by turning on a light. 390 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,253 And if you're hungry, but you're not in a restaurant, 391 00:15:32,253 --> 00:15:34,574 a nanny can call a restaurant and order in. 392 00:15:35,281 --> 00:15:36,595 And if you're on the beach 393 00:15:36,652 --> 00:15:38,414 and you only see one set of footprints, 394 00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:40,812 it's because your nanny's carrying you. 395 00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:43,720 Wow. 396 00:15:43,755 --> 00:15:45,522 And you know how you suck at guitar? 397 00:15:45,556 --> 00:15:48,458 A nanny would pretend like you don't suck at guitar. 398 00:15:48,509 --> 00:15:50,143 But I'm not your nanny. 399 00:15:50,178 --> 00:15:52,062 Well, thanks for not sugarcoating it. 400 00:15:52,113 --> 00:15:53,035 You suck at guitar. 401 00:15:53,029 --> 00:15:55,816 No. No. No. I... I got it. Heard and understood. 402 00:15:55,850 --> 00:15:57,015 Okay. 403 00:15:59,749 --> 00:16:01,622 Good luck at the talent show. 404 00:16:02,358 --> 00:16:04,079 I didn't need Dalia to tell me 405 00:16:04,116 --> 00:16:05,693 that the only thing I had a talent for 406 00:16:05,718 --> 00:16:07,814 was kidding myself. 407 00:16:12,737 --> 00:16:13,994 Kidding myself into thinking 408 00:16:13,994 --> 00:16:16,885 I had a connection with someone I'd never even met. 409 00:16:17,179 --> 00:16:19,807 - Lisa, set the table for dinner. - I'm sorry. 410 00:16:19,807 --> 00:16:22,485 Don't you mean Ryan should set the table for dinner? 411 00:16:22,605 --> 00:16:24,412 No, I mean you. 412 00:16:24,462 --> 00:16:26,752 And get your feet down. This isn't San Diego. 413 00:16:27,309 --> 00:16:28,885 I don't like your tone, mother. 414 00:16:28,897 --> 00:16:31,619 Oh, no? Then you're really not gonna like this. 415 00:16:31,739 --> 00:16:35,736 Your father and I have decided to give the solo back to Ryan. 416 00:16:37,753 --> 00:16:39,337 Really? 417 00:16:39,371 --> 00:16:41,356 Well... 418 00:16:41,390 --> 00:16:44,038 I guess I'll just have to tell Ryan the truth. 419 00:16:44,076 --> 00:16:45,493 You could, 420 00:16:45,528 --> 00:16:47,279 but there's a chance he'll leave 421 00:16:47,454 --> 00:16:49,881 to go find his birth mother, 422 00:16:49,899 --> 00:16:53,580 and that would leave just you and I. 423 00:16:53,955 --> 00:16:56,320 Lots of quality time. 424 00:16:56,622 --> 00:16:59,507 You would have my undivided attention. 425 00:17:06,212 --> 00:17:07,765 Well played, mother. 426 00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:11,417 Very well played. 427 00:17:26,756 --> 00:17:27,734 George, open up! 428 00:17:27,753 --> 00:17:29,886 We know you're harboring Carmen! 429 00:17:30,006 --> 00:17:31,519 (Door squeaks) 430 00:17:32,276 --> 00:17:34,897 Oh! He reeks of ranchero! 431 00:17:35,017 --> 00:17:36,931 - She's not here. - Oh, I see. 432 00:17:36,943 --> 00:17:39,071 And I suppose that's someone else's gold Corolla 433 00:17:39,071 --> 00:17:42,749 with custom Carmen plates parked in your driveway. 434 00:17:42,869 --> 00:17:45,554 (Carmen) George! Flour or corn? 435 00:17:46,347 --> 00:17:47,235 (Clenches teeth) Corn! 436 00:17:47,279 --> 00:17:48,793 He's trying to steal Carmen. 437 00:17:48,799 --> 00:17:50,157 I am not. 438 00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:51,859 But frankly, I wouldn't blame Carmen 439 00:17:51,865 --> 00:17:53,598 if she didn't wanna work with either one of you. 440 00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:55,697 You're both acting crazy. 441 00:17:55,951 --> 00:17:58,215 And you know what? 442 00:17:58,447 --> 00:18:00,535 The two of you are so anxious to hire someone 443 00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:04,072 to take care of your kids, but this time is precious. 444 00:18:04,123 --> 00:18:06,362 And sooner or later, they're gonna push you away. 445 00:18:06,482 --> 00:18:09,265 And then you're gonna miss the times when they did. 446 00:18:10,496 --> 00:18:12,951 Trust me. I know. 447 00:18:13,866 --> 00:18:16,530 (Door creaks) 448 00:18:20,036 --> 00:18:21,863 Okay. Rock-paper-scissors for Carmen. 449 00:18:21,907 --> 00:18:23,415 Yeah. 450 00:18:24,334 --> 00:18:27,045 Ha ha ha ha ha ha! 451 00:18:27,063 --> 00:18:29,398 That's it, buddy. We got her! 452 00:18:31,836 --> 00:18:34,426 George had been in the dad game long enough 453 00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:35,922 to know that sometimes, 454 00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:38,299 just when you've convinced yourself that you're not needed, 455 00:18:38,364 --> 00:18:41,352 that might be when your kid needs you the most. 456 00:18:41,527 --> 00:18:45,180 (Mr. Wolfe) And now a dance from the "Medium" fan club 457 00:18:45,205 --> 00:18:46,907 of the TV show "Medium." 458 00:18:47,957 --> 00:18:50,542 * 459 00:18:50,599 --> 00:18:52,550 (Whispering) Hey! Hey! 460 00:18:53,395 --> 00:18:54,521 You forgot the guitar. 461 00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:56,498 (Whispering) I didn't forget the guitar, George. 462 00:18:56,792 --> 00:18:58,669 It turns out I'm not like her, 463 00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:00,327 and I suck. 464 00:19:04,616 --> 00:19:06,368 (Lowered voice) You know what? 465 00:19:06,488 --> 00:19:10,547 Sometimes you remind me so much of your mother. 466 00:19:14,546 --> 00:19:16,598 It's the jacket. 467 00:19:16,718 --> 00:19:18,988 No, it's not the jacket. 468 00:19:21,009 --> 00:19:22,960 I used to have to give your mom a pep talk 469 00:19:22,992 --> 00:19:25,375 every time before she got up onstage. 470 00:19:25,776 --> 00:19:28,247 She always thought she was gonna suck. 471 00:19:29,986 --> 00:19:32,333 And sometimes she did. (Chuckles) 472 00:19:35,110 --> 00:19:36,850 But most of the time... 473 00:19:37,381 --> 00:19:38,952 she was pretty damn good. 474 00:19:38,989 --> 00:19:39,878 It was the first time 475 00:19:39,915 --> 00:19:42,418 i had ever heard George talk like that about my mom, 476 00:19:42,538 --> 00:19:44,257 and the old George would have felt too threatened 477 00:19:44,269 --> 00:19:45,827 to draw a comparison between us, 478 00:19:45,947 --> 00:19:47,798 but the new George must have known 479 00:19:47,804 --> 00:19:50,145 it was gonna make me feel better... 480 00:19:50,483 --> 00:19:51,922 because it did. 481 00:19:52,571 --> 00:19:55,144 (Amplified voice) Wow! Oh, wow. 482 00:19:55,264 --> 00:19:58,128 I honestly still can't believe that show got canceled. 483 00:19:58,748 --> 00:20:02,883 Up next is Tessa Alt... oh, she's not back here. 484 00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:06,061 (Singsongy) Tessa? Tessa Altman? 485 00:20:06,449 --> 00:20:09,337 (Normal voice) Are you in, or are you out? 486 00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:12,173 I'm in. 487 00:20:13,055 --> 00:20:15,646 Hey. It's not too late to do "Peace Train." 488 00:20:15,766 --> 00:20:17,416 (Scoffs) Dad. 489 00:20:21,564 --> 00:20:23,310 (Clears throat) 490 00:20:26,031 --> 00:20:27,946 (Amplified voice) This is a song that my mom wrote, 491 00:20:28,066 --> 00:20:31,180 and my dad's the one who taught me how to play guitar 492 00:20:31,199 --> 00:20:36,462 one million years ago, so if I suck, it's their fault. 493 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:42,787 ♪ Against a woolen sweater that was blue ♪ 494 00:20:43,756 --> 00:20:46,415 ♪ that's all that I remember ♪ 495 00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:48,856 ♪ of you ? 496 00:20:49,475 --> 00:20:54,299 ♪ before you learned to walk, I learned to run ♪ 497 00:20:54,950 --> 00:21:00,079 ♪ guess the ants really go marching one by one ♪ 498 00:21:00,086 --> 00:21:03,170 ♪ when a train rolls in ♪ 499 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:06,961 ♪ the doors open, I get in ♪ 500 00:21:06,979 --> 00:21:10,153 ♪ last night, I had ♪ 501 00:21:10,273 --> 00:21:13,313 ♪ a pleasant nightmare ♪ 502 00:21:13,325 --> 00:21:14,570 ♪ na-na-na-na ♪ 503 00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,152 There are lots of things besides D.N.A. 504 00:21:17,179 --> 00:21:18,518 That connect people, 505 00:21:18,638 --> 00:21:21,747 and as the shays watched their potting shed 506 00:21:21,867 --> 00:21:23,611 and all its secrets burn to the ground, 507 00:21:23,617 --> 00:21:25,250 they reminded themselves, 508 00:21:25,370 --> 00:21:27,765 sometimes the things we hold on to... 509 00:21:27,759 --> 00:21:28,748 ♪ na-na-na-na ♪ 510 00:21:28,754 --> 00:21:32,201 Aren't nearly as important as the things we let go of. 511 00:21:32,554 --> 00:21:35,536 ♪ na-na-na-na ♪ 512 00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:39,427 (Song ends) 513 00:21:40,044 --> 00:21:44,811 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -