1
00:00:05,075 --> 00:00:06,858
If somebody told me a few months ago,
2
00:00:06,859 --> 00:00:08,956
that I'd get to spend
the summer in Manhattan,
3
00:00:08,957 --> 00:00:10,116
not Chatswin,
4
00:00:10,417 --> 00:00:12,894
I'd have said, "when hell freezes over".
5
00:00:12,895 --> 00:00:13,895
Tickets please. Tickets.
6
00:00:15,205 --> 00:00:16,594
Tickets.
7
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,878
But that's exactly what happened.
8
00:00:18,998 --> 00:00:20,630
So while everyone else was
9
00:00:20,649 --> 00:00:22,536
cultivating stage III skin cancer
10
00:00:22,537 --> 00:00:23,877
at the Chatswin Country Club...
11
00:00:23,925 --> 00:00:25,292
Get my Colita, Carmen.
12
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:27,299
I was making a reverse commute.
13
00:00:29,301 --> 00:00:33,066
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
14
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:36,251
I had found an exit strategy
George couldn't say no to.
15
00:00:36,314 --> 00:00:37,953
I had found my grandmother,
16
00:00:38,022 --> 00:00:40,881
or, more accurately, she had found me.
17
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,803
And since Mom had gone A.W.O.L.
18
00:00:42,815 --> 00:00:44,435
And was living in Europe somewhere,
19
00:00:44,469 --> 00:00:46,869
these pictures were the
closest I was gonna get
20
00:00:46,882 --> 00:00:47,986
to a face-to-face.
21
00:00:48,020 --> 00:00:51,524
[ Charizma & Peanut Butter Wolf's
"My World Premiere" ]
22
00:00:51,559 --> 00:00:53,731
I spent my summer living in a loophole.
23
00:00:53,732 --> 00:00:56,345
♪ Let's get dramatic 'cause
I'm new with no static ♪
24
00:00:56,372 --> 00:00:59,099
But like all
loopholes, eventually it had to close.
25
00:00:59,117 --> 00:01:02,553
Sorry, guys. The Loophole
closes at 3:00 a.m. now.
26
00:01:09,055 --> 00:01:11,212
Station stop is Chatswin.
27
00:01:11,246 --> 00:01:13,629
Chatswin, bitches.
28
00:01:19,047 --> 00:01:20,273
Dad!
29
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:21,574
Dad!
30
00:01:21,643 --> 00:01:23,684
Hey! I know you.
31
00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:24,905
Hi, Dad.
32
00:01:24,939 --> 00:01:26,311
Mm!
33
00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:27,541
Nice jacket.
34
00:01:27,575 --> 00:01:29,476
Thanks. It, uh,
35
00:01:29,510 --> 00:01:30,740
it used to be my mom's.
36
00:01:31,347 --> 00:01:32,896
Oh?
37
00:01:34,139 --> 00:01:36,673
So...
what was the best part
38
00:01:36,689 --> 00:01:38,285
about staying with your grandmother?
39
00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:40,837
Mm, probably how early she goes to bed.
40
00:01:42,590 --> 00:01:44,741
So how have things been here?
41
00:01:44,776 --> 00:01:46,526
Quiet.
42
00:01:46,544 --> 00:01:48,695
Anything from the ex?
43
00:01:48,729 --> 00:01:50,914
Eden? No, not a word.
44
00:01:50,948 --> 00:01:53,296
I think I knew it wasn't gonna work.
45
00:01:53,416 --> 00:01:54,751
I think we both did.
46
00:01:54,786 --> 00:01:56,787
I definitely did.
47
00:01:56,821 --> 00:01:59,047
I meant her and I.
48
00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:01,591
Well, then all three
of us then. We all knew.
49
00:02:02,507 --> 00:02:04,659
Love may have eluded George,
50
00:02:04,693 --> 00:02:06,977
but elsewhere, it was blooming.
51
00:02:07,251 --> 00:02:09,096
I'm tired of pretending,
52
00:02:09,131 --> 00:02:12,340
pretending that I can
live without you. I can't.
53
00:02:12,818 --> 00:02:15,086
I want you back, woman,
54
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:19,066
and I am not gonna rest
until you say you're mine.
55
00:02:19,186 --> 00:02:21,493
Say it! Say you're mine.
56
00:02:21,537 --> 00:02:22,941
Can I get either of you a drink?
57
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,178
What'll it be, Carmen?
58
00:02:24,434 --> 00:02:27,669
You want a Horchata or Margarita? Sangria?
59
00:02:27,789 --> 00:02:30,459
They also have a variety
of Caucasian beverages.
60
00:02:30,579 --> 00:02:32,969
Actually, sir, we just switched
over to our winter drink menu.
61
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,115
If Carmen wants a horchata...
62
00:02:35,165 --> 00:02:36,722
Diet soda, please.
63
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:38,507
No ice.
64
00:02:38,541 --> 00:02:39,908
Make it dos.
65
00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:41,760
Thanks.
66
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:42,898
Carmen...
67
00:02:43,018 --> 00:02:45,575
you helped raise our first
baby, and she went Ivy League.
68
00:02:45,576 --> 00:02:47,153
I want a repeat performance.
69
00:02:47,191 --> 00:02:48,623
I understand,
70
00:02:48,886 --> 00:02:51,539
- but Miss Dallas...
- Look, with Jill away on the book tour,
71
00:02:51,558 --> 00:02:53,178
all that baby has is me.
72
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,656
So if I screw up,
73
00:02:55,775 --> 00:02:57,113
that's on you.
74
00:02:58,603 --> 00:03:00,086
I have to go.
75
00:03:00,111 --> 00:03:01,706
Carmen, don't leave.
76
00:03:01,725 --> 00:03:03,289
Carmen! Carmen!
77
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,712
Carmen, I'll make it simple.
78
00:03:06,832 --> 00:03:09,157
Come back to Casa de Werner,
79
00:03:09,158 --> 00:03:12,224
and I'll make it really,
really worth your while.
80
00:03:14,976 --> 00:03:17,079
Can you be more specific?
81
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,063
A gold Corolla?
82
00:03:20,094 --> 00:03:21,932
Carmen, you don't even have a license!
83
00:03:21,966 --> 00:03:24,034
Well, what gold thing have you given me?
84
00:03:24,052 --> 00:03:26,112
Nothing. Not one gold thing.
85
00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:27,938
Carmen, that is unfactual!
86
00:03:27,972 --> 00:03:29,779
You know we can't live without you.
87
00:03:29,967 --> 00:03:31,224
Then counter.
88
00:03:31,274 --> 00:03:32,242
Counter?
89
00:03:32,276 --> 00:03:34,478
You know what? This is crummy.
90
00:03:34,546 --> 00:03:35,892
We have been through a lot together,
91
00:03:35,897 --> 00:03:37,385
and now you're leveraging me?
92
00:03:37,386 --> 00:03:38,774
Who's leveraging you, mommy?
93
00:03:38,775 --> 00:03:40,603
Dalia, honey, Carmen's thinking of leaving.
94
00:03:40,615 --> 00:03:43,669
- Bye, Carmen.
- Not just leaving for now. Leaving for good.
95
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:46,434
- Bye for good, Carmen.
- Dalia, you're not thinking!
96
00:03:46,482 --> 00:03:47,811
Who will put you to sleep at night?
97
00:03:47,812 --> 00:03:50,038
Who will make you taquitos post-pilates?
98
00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:51,300
Stop shaking her!
99
00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:53,622
Who will tell me to stop
shaking you when I shake you?
100
00:03:53,742 --> 00:03:55,649
'Cause you know I'm
inclined to shake you, girl.
101
00:03:56,131 --> 00:03:58,158
I would just like to point out that by now,
102
00:03:58,214 --> 00:04:01,574
old George would be grilling
you for details on your summer,
103
00:04:01,630 --> 00:04:04,966
but you'll notice new
George... he isn't going there.
104
00:04:05,086 --> 00:04:07,562
- Cool.
- It's not that new George isn't curious... he is...
105
00:04:07,606 --> 00:04:10,077
but he knows you're practically an adult,
106
00:04:10,121 --> 00:04:12,474
and you want people to respect
your privacy. He gets it.
107
00:04:12,508 --> 00:04:14,908
I mean, new George sounds great.
108
00:04:15,028 --> 00:04:17,185
So you know where to find
new George if you need him.
109
00:04:17,305 --> 00:04:18,630
He'll be hanging out,
110
00:04:19,037 --> 00:04:20,664
doing your laundry.
111
00:04:22,672 --> 00:04:28,921
[Alih Jay] ♪ Last night I
had a pleasant nightmare ♪
112
00:04:28,922 --> 00:04:31,238
2x01
Homecoming
113
00:04:32,702 --> 00:04:34,892
The jacket wasn't the
only thing I stumbled on
114
00:04:34,893 --> 00:04:36,900
during my summer in Manhattan.
115
00:04:42,219 --> 00:04:44,121
I also found an old cassette tape
116
00:04:44,190 --> 00:04:47,606
and a newfound interest in my mom.
117
00:05:00,113 --> 00:05:02,109
♪ against a woolen sweater ♪
118
00:05:02,110 --> 00:05:03,535
Early McLachlan?
119
00:05:03,710 --> 00:05:05,143
Lisa!
120
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,433
I hide in your room sometimes
when you're not home.
121
00:05:09,197 --> 00:05:10,479
Who's the crooner?
122
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,945
Apparently...
123
00:05:13,376 --> 00:05:14,671
my mom.
124
00:05:14,791 --> 00:05:16,642
I found a box of her stuff
at my grandma's place.
125
00:05:16,673 --> 00:05:18,650
She's... good.
126
00:05:18,713 --> 00:05:19,726
Right?
127
00:05:19,989 --> 00:05:21,491
I'm not a record producer, Tessa.
128
00:05:21,503 --> 00:05:23,136
I've never claimed to be.
129
00:05:23,392 --> 00:05:25,964
I mean, could she play an intimate venue?
130
00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:29,699
Maybe. But if you're asking me
if she could sell out an arena?
131
00:05:29,711 --> 00:05:32,277
- I'm not.
- Good. 'Cause I'm not comfortable speculating.
132
00:05:32,397 --> 00:05:33,910
I wonder if she knew
she wanted to be a singer
133
00:05:33,929 --> 00:05:35,412
when she was my age.
134
00:05:35,532 --> 00:05:37,513
Yeah. She did.
135
00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:40,898
I wonder if I'm like her.
136
00:05:41,236 --> 00:05:43,338
I mean, it'd be cool if I
was like her in some way,
137
00:05:43,351 --> 00:05:44,126
wouldn't it?
138
00:05:44,195 --> 00:05:46,379
Cool? Tessa, I'm not Carson Daly,
139
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,237
but if you can sing like her,
140
00:05:48,243 --> 00:05:51,022
you could definitely hold
your own in the Fall Follies.
141
00:05:51,072 --> 00:05:53,681
Fall Follies? What is it?
Some stupid talent show?
142
00:05:57,185 --> 00:05:57,986
Yes.
143
00:05:58,242 --> 00:05:59,662
You see, child,
144
00:05:59,782 --> 00:06:03,097
every year when the pool
closes for the season,
145
00:06:03,366 --> 00:06:06,903
the umbrellas come down, the awnings go up,
146
00:06:06,954 --> 00:06:09,047
then and only then...
147
00:06:09,053 --> 00:06:12,295
is the sign-up for the
Fall Follies posted.
148
00:06:12,326 --> 00:06:13,233
People around here
149
00:06:13,258 --> 00:06:15,292
take the Follies pretty seriously, Tessa.
150
00:06:15,655 --> 00:06:17,620
My family participates every year,
151
00:06:17,632 --> 00:06:20,861
and every year, my
brother Ryan gets the solo.
152
00:06:21,092 --> 00:06:25,639
But this year, there's gonna be an upset.
153
00:06:25,673 --> 00:06:28,150
Lisa, is this from you?
154
00:06:28,432 --> 00:06:30,140
Because that's a cornish game hen.
155
00:06:30,311 --> 00:06:31,444
Sit down, mother.
156
00:06:32,446 --> 00:06:35,098
You're acting very peculiar.
157
00:06:35,526 --> 00:06:37,209
This reminds me of the time
158
00:06:37,216 --> 00:06:39,581
you chewed that entire package of aspergum.
159
00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:41,239
Did you chew something...
160
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,968
I know, mother.
161
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,680
I'm quite sure that I don't
know what you are talking about.
162
00:06:45,681 --> 00:06:47,172
I know.
163
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,642
Now you listen to me.
164
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:52,712
It was 1991. "Jungle
Fever" had just come out...
165
00:06:52,725 --> 00:06:54,589
I was talking about Ryan.
166
00:06:55,027 --> 00:06:56,765
I know he's adopted.
167
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,037
Fred, get in here.
168
00:07:01,237 --> 00:07:04,165
What's going on? Why is everyone seated?
169
00:07:04,203 --> 00:07:04,872
Oh, is it dinner?
170
00:07:04,897 --> 00:07:07,324
She knows, Fred. Lisa knows.
171
00:07:07,853 --> 00:07:10,796
Oh. Look, it started out
mostly as bachelorette parties.
172
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,655
I was trying to earn money for college.
173
00:07:12,687 --> 00:07:14,295
She knows about Ryan.
174
00:07:14,415 --> 00:07:15,402
Oh.
175
00:07:15,639 --> 00:07:16,828
Uh...
176
00:07:16,879 --> 00:07:19,149
Okay, now, Lisa, you have to understand.
177
00:07:19,181 --> 00:07:21,666
Back then, we thought
your mother was barren.
178
00:07:21,717 --> 00:07:23,000
Turned out I was just frigid.
179
00:07:23,035 --> 00:07:24,685
She couldn't feel joy inside.
180
00:07:24,703 --> 00:07:26,921
Until the day we adopted Ryan.
181
00:07:26,955 --> 00:07:28,642
He was just a few hours old,
182
00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:32,870
but already, he had the most
adorable little six-pack.
183
00:07:33,512 --> 00:07:36,117
We couldn't figure out
why our baby was so ripped
184
00:07:36,124 --> 00:07:38,232
until we met his birth mother.
185
00:07:40,969 --> 00:07:43,068
This is pre-pregnancy, I assume.
186
00:07:43,131 --> 00:07:43,855
Oh, no.
187
00:07:43,906 --> 00:07:45,596
She's full-term.
188
00:07:45,608 --> 00:07:47,647
Oh. That woman put us through hell.
189
00:07:47,648 --> 00:07:49,718
She changed her mind, then unchanged it,
190
00:07:49,724 --> 00:07:51,983
then rechanged it, then
changed it back again.
191
00:07:52,258 --> 00:07:54,354
When we got pregnant with the backup baby,
192
00:07:54,355 --> 00:07:56,128
we were relieved, but...
193
00:07:57,035 --> 00:07:59,754
part of us knew that
she'd come back for him.
194
00:08:00,195 --> 00:08:01,608
So we moved to Chatswin
195
00:08:01,609 --> 00:08:03,384
and altered the spelling of our last name,
196
00:08:03,385 --> 00:08:05,094
and we haven't heard from her since.
197
00:08:05,521 --> 00:08:06,872
I see.
198
00:08:06,906 --> 00:08:09,467
Well, that all sounds very tidy.
199
00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:12,107
And if you want it to stay tidy,
200
00:08:12,289 --> 00:08:14,817
things are gonna change.
201
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,825
- Hey, George.
- In the kitchen!
202
00:08:18,913 --> 00:08:20,990
- Hey.
- Hey, buddy.
203
00:08:21,073 --> 00:08:23,272
You've gotta be kidding me.
204
00:08:23,273 --> 00:08:25,757
It's an iced coffee. Don't judge me.
205
00:08:25,877 --> 00:08:28,864
What is your father doing to you? Huh?
206
00:08:30,098 --> 00:08:31,513
We're on our own here, George.
207
00:08:31,538 --> 00:08:33,277
Opus and me... we're flying solo.
208
00:08:33,334 --> 00:08:35,217
That's why I need you to talk to your girl.
209
00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:37,751
I got a cease and desist letter
this morning from her lawyer.
210
00:08:37,871 --> 00:08:40,642
- Have you been trying to poach Carmen from Dallas?
- No.
211
00:08:40,762 --> 00:08:43,269
I'm trying to recruit Carmen for
Opus. There's a big difference.
212
00:08:43,469 --> 00:08:45,665
So you're saying she was
looking for a job on her own?
213
00:08:45,671 --> 00:08:47,380
Are you calling me out in front of my baby?
214
00:08:47,392 --> 00:08:49,316
Who calls a man out in front of his baby?
215
00:08:49,351 --> 00:08:52,103
Hey. Oh. And still with
the, uh, jacket, huh?
216
00:08:52,109 --> 00:08:53,873
You sure you don't want me to
get that dry-cleaned for you?
217
00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:55,668
Whew! Tessa.
218
00:08:55,924 --> 00:08:58,866
- Oh, it's him. Sorry. My brood has poo'd.
- Oh!
219
00:08:58,910 --> 00:08:59,977
Ugh.
220
00:09:00,011 --> 00:09:01,612
- Dad?
- Yeah?
221
00:09:01,987 --> 00:09:03,332
Can I borrow your guitar?
222
00:09:04,299 --> 00:09:06,085
Aha!
223
00:09:06,363 --> 00:09:09,222
Has someone
been lured to the Isle of Harmonia?
224
00:09:09,247 --> 00:09:11,585
Does thou need a trusty steed
225
00:09:11,586 --> 00:09:15,697
to transport ye to the
knoll of rock 'n' rollia?
226
00:09:16,339 --> 00:09:17,061
Never mind.
227
00:09:17,086 --> 00:09:18,098
Sorry. Sorry. It's yours.
228
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,364
I'll stop talking like that.
229
00:09:19,633 --> 00:09:20,959
So about the guitar...
230
00:09:20,991 --> 00:09:22,204
Yeah?
231
00:09:22,324 --> 00:09:24,387
I'm thinking of signing up
for the Fall Follies thingy...
232
00:09:24,406 --> 00:09:26,621
- Yeah?
- You know, since music runs in my blood.
233
00:09:26,646 --> 00:09:28,634
Yes! You're darned right it does.
234
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:30,187
In fact, when... when I get a paper cut,
235
00:09:30,224 --> 00:09:31,482
it sounds a little something like...
236
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,240
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
237
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,407
♪ whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪
238
00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:37,957
I decided to let George enjoy his solo.
239
00:09:37,988 --> 00:09:39,727
I didn't have the heart to tell him
240
00:09:39,733 --> 00:09:42,093
it wasn't his blood I was referring to.
241
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:52,541
There. Right there. See that, Fred?
242
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,874
See... see how your hand is open?
243
00:09:54,912 --> 00:09:56,157
You're losing the paw.
244
00:09:56,370 --> 00:09:57,927
This is the jazz hands section.
245
00:09:57,959 --> 00:09:59,398
It's the jazz paws section.
246
00:09:59,379 --> 00:10:00,862
Stop talking. Here comes the best part.
247
00:10:00,919 --> 00:10:04,115
♪ Get my dinner from a garbage can ♪
248
00:10:09,326 --> 00:10:10,872
- Fantastic.
- Thanks, Dad.
249
00:10:10,890 --> 00:10:12,035
You're so good. I love that.
250
00:10:12,086 --> 00:10:13,876
Okay, that's enough.
251
00:10:13,927 --> 00:10:14,964
Let's rehearse.
252
00:10:15,084 --> 00:10:18,063
Okay. Lots of energy from the top, guys.
253
00:10:18,097 --> 00:10:21,233
This is our last dress before the tech,
254
00:10:21,267 --> 00:10:23,252
so don't hold back, gang.
255
00:10:23,286 --> 00:10:26,183
Mom, I'm thinking I'm-a doing
it a little higher this year.
256
00:10:26,201 --> 00:10:27,403
You didn't tell him?
257
00:10:27,428 --> 00:10:28,539
♪ Dinner from a garbage ♪
258
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:29,430
♪ can ♪
259
00:10:29,499 --> 00:10:30,692
Tell him.
260
00:10:30,727 --> 00:10:32,177
Tell me what?
261
00:10:32,211 --> 00:10:36,055
Tell him, or I will tell him everything.
262
00:10:38,576 --> 00:10:40,635
Ryan, your father and I have decided
263
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:42,067
to give Lisa the solo this year.
264
00:10:42,187 --> 00:10:43,156
What?
265
00:10:44,376 --> 00:10:45,295
Why?
266
00:10:45,339 --> 00:10:46,825
Get out of the can, son.
267
00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:48,743
- No.
- It's Lisa's turn.
268
00:10:48,795 --> 00:10:50,658
She's gonna sing the line this year.
269
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:51,640
- Mm. No.
- Yes.
270
00:10:51,681 --> 00:10:53,135
- Everybody loves when I do it.
- Get out of the can.
271
00:10:53,192 --> 00:10:54,699
This is the part that they love best.
272
00:10:54,701 --> 00:10:56,643
Yes, but now it's Lisa's
turn to be loved best.
273
00:10:56,644 --> 00:10:58,259
- Get out of the can. Let's get out of the can.
- No. No.
274
00:10:58,272 --> 00:10:59,654
He's in character, Fred. He's in character!
275
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,640
- Get the mister. Get up. Get out of the can.
- Aah!
276
00:11:01,658 --> 00:11:04,759
- Shake him out. Shake him out. Get out of the can, Ryan!
- You get out of the can now. Get out!
277
00:11:04,828 --> 00:11:07,474
Shoo.
278
00:11:07,594 --> 00:11:10,098
Are you happy
now, Lisa? Are you happy?!
279
00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,513
Why, yes, mother.
280
00:11:13,633 --> 00:11:15,898
Yes, I am.
281
00:11:18,695 --> 00:11:23,131
There are just a few small
scratches on the body...
282
00:11:23,781 --> 00:11:25,131
One right there,
283
00:11:25,378 --> 00:11:29,563
and then a tiny crack on the...
one, two, three... fourth fret.
284
00:11:30,114 --> 00:11:33,623
Other than that, she is in mint condish.
285
00:11:35,051 --> 00:11:38,129
I'll just initial it for you.
286
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:40,751
Enjoy.
287
00:11:40,871 --> 00:11:42,399
Thanks.
288
00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:46,753
Looks good on you.
289
00:11:50,941 --> 00:11:53,102
That's not supposed to
be "Peace Train," is it?
290
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,597
- No.
- 'Cause you really gotta open it up
291
00:11:54,604 --> 00:11:56,761
- if you're doing "Peace Train."
- I'm not doing "Peace Train," George.
292
00:11:56,762 --> 00:11:58,062
Oh, okay.
293
00:11:58,182 --> 00:11:59,799
I'm actually
294
00:11:59,817 --> 00:12:01,768
trying to learn a song that my mom wrote.
295
00:12:03,237 --> 00:12:04,204
Oh.
296
00:12:04,238 --> 00:12:06,847
Uh, f... first the jacket? Now the music?
297
00:12:06,967 --> 00:12:09,159
I didn't... I didn't know you were...
298
00:12:09,210 --> 00:12:11,661
You were interested in that kinda... thing.
299
00:12:11,712 --> 00:12:14,943
Well, I... I wasn't before.
300
00:12:15,966 --> 00:12:17,283
But now I am.
301
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:20,203
Yeah.
302
00:12:20,237 --> 00:12:22,475
Is that...
303
00:12:22,890 --> 00:12:23,840
cool?
304
00:12:23,891 --> 00:12:26,926
Cool? Yeah, of course it's cool.
305
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,012
Why wouldn't it be cool?
306
00:12:29,063 --> 00:12:30,880
Yeah.
307
00:12:32,270 --> 00:12:34,599
- Lisa is out of control.
- I know.
308
00:12:34,633 --> 00:12:36,043
Do you know she deleted
309
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:38,753
all my "Californications" from the DVR?
310
00:12:38,787 --> 00:12:40,366
Who deleted those...
311
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,375
filthy recordings doesn't matter.
312
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,539
What matters is Lisa has to be stopped.
313
00:12:44,570 --> 00:12:46,316
I knew we shouldn't have
kept all the family secrets
314
00:12:46,317 --> 00:12:48,709
in the potting shed. It's too accessible.
315
00:12:48,743 --> 00:12:51,002
Lisa knows that the thought of losing Ryan
316
00:12:51,027 --> 00:12:52,329
terrifies us more than anything.
317
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,330
So all we have to figure out is
318
00:12:54,349 --> 00:12:57,039
what terrifies her more than anything.
319
00:12:58,703 --> 00:13:01,037
I think we both know the answer to that.
320
00:13:04,603 --> 00:13:06,218
Carmen. Door.
321
00:13:06,390 --> 00:13:07,724
I'll get it!
322
00:13:07,758 --> 00:13:10,193
Don't you dare move, Carmen! I got it!
323
00:13:14,017 --> 00:13:17,202
Psst! Dalia, this is for Carmen.
324
00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:19,069
Quick! Help me burn it before she sees.
325
00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:19,852
Okay.
326
00:13:19,870 --> 00:13:21,254
Dalia Oprah,
327
00:13:21,288 --> 00:13:24,491
we are in clear and present
danger of losing Carmen.
328
00:13:25,910 --> 00:13:28,839
Uncle Noah keeps sending her
all kinds of gift baskets,
329
00:13:28,889 --> 00:13:30,096
trying to steal her away.
330
00:13:30,121 --> 00:13:33,074
This week alone, I have
burned three dozen roses,
331
00:13:33,194 --> 00:13:34,450
cruise tickets,
332
00:13:34,570 --> 00:13:36,758
and a plush white Teddy Bear, and now...
333
00:13:37,443 --> 00:13:39,212
I have to burn these lemon bars.
334
00:13:40,731 --> 00:13:43,700
It's no use. They won't take.
335
00:13:43,718 --> 00:13:45,881
They're just caramelizing,
getting more delicious.
336
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:49,804
Look at that.
It's downright brulée'd.
337
00:13:53,661 --> 00:13:55,312
Oh, no!
338
00:13:55,346 --> 00:13:58,002
Dalia, they're scrumptious.
339
00:13:59,650 --> 00:14:01,869
Are those my lemon bars?
340
00:14:01,888 --> 00:14:04,059
That's it. I've had enough!
341
00:14:04,084 --> 00:14:05,923
Wait, Carmen! Don't leave!
342
00:14:06,043 --> 00:14:08,213
I know what you did to that Teddy Bear.
343
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:09,696
Oh! Oh!
344
00:14:11,441 --> 00:14:15,094
Oh! Look at the soot, Carmen!
You gotta clean up the soot!
345
00:14:15,095 --> 00:14:16,315
Look at all this Teddy bear soot.
346
00:14:16,334 --> 00:14:17,979
You don't want me tracking Teddy Bear soot
347
00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:19,643
all through the house, do you?
348
00:14:19,763 --> 00:14:22,327
Mommy, I got this.
349
00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:25,080
Carmen...
350
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,214
I just want to let you know that
351
00:14:27,496 --> 00:14:30,736
even if you decide not to
be a housekeeper anymore,
352
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,871
I'll always think of you as a housekeeper.
353
00:14:32,922 --> 00:14:35,742
Even if you, like, cure cancer,
354
00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:38,844
to me, you'll always be a housekeeper.
355
00:14:39,697 --> 00:14:41,968
And I want you to know that.
356
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:49,521
I'm not sure that worked.
357
00:14:57,085 --> 00:14:58,931
Here you go, sir.
358
00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:06,539
Have you ever employed someone
who meant the world to you?
359
00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:08,323
No.
360
00:15:08,929 --> 00:15:10,875
I lost my nanny today,
361
00:15:10,995 --> 00:15:14,629
and the worst part is what
I just said two seconds ago.
362
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:16,000
No offense, Dalia,
363
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:18,183
but why does someone your
age need a nanny anyway?
364
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:21,130
When your day is dark,
a nanny can make it light
365
00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:22,838
by turning on a light.
366
00:15:23,163 --> 00:15:25,653
And if you're hungry, but
you're not in a restaurant,
367
00:15:25,654 --> 00:15:27,974
a nanny can call a restaurant and order in.
368
00:15:28,681 --> 00:15:29,995
And if you're on the beach
369
00:15:30,052 --> 00:15:31,814
and you only see one set of footprints,
370
00:15:32,260 --> 00:15:34,212
it's because your nanny's carrying you.
371
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:37,120
Wow.
372
00:15:37,155 --> 00:15:38,922
And you know how you suck at guitar?
373
00:15:38,956 --> 00:15:41,858
A nanny would pretend like
you don't suck at guitar.
374
00:15:41,909 --> 00:15:43,543
But I'm not your nanny.
375
00:15:43,578 --> 00:15:45,462
Well, thanks for not sugarcoating it.
376
00:15:45,513 --> 00:15:46,435
You suck at guitar.
377
00:15:46,436 --> 00:15:49,216
No. No. No. I... I got
it. Heard and understood.
378
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:50,415
Okay.
379
00:15:53,149 --> 00:15:55,022
Good luck at the talent show.
380
00:15:55,758 --> 00:15:57,479
I didn't need Dalia to tell me
381
00:15:57,516 --> 00:15:59,093
that the only thing I had a talent for
382
00:15:59,118 --> 00:16:01,214
was kidding myself.
383
00:16:06,137 --> 00:16:07,394
Kidding myself into thinking
384
00:16:07,395 --> 00:16:10,285
I had a connection with
someone I'd never even met.
385
00:16:10,579 --> 00:16:13,206
- Lisa, set the table for dinner.
- I'm sorry.
386
00:16:13,207 --> 00:16:15,885
Don't you mean Ryan should
set the table for dinner?
387
00:16:16,005 --> 00:16:17,812
No, I mean you.
388
00:16:17,862 --> 00:16:20,152
And get your feet down.
This isn't San Diego.
389
00:16:20,709 --> 00:16:22,285
I don't like your tone, mother.
390
00:16:22,297 --> 00:16:25,019
Oh, no? Then you're
really not gonna like this.
391
00:16:25,139 --> 00:16:29,136
Your father and I have decided
to give the solo back to Ryan.
392
00:16:31,153 --> 00:16:32,737
Really?
393
00:16:32,771 --> 00:16:34,756
Well...
394
00:16:34,790 --> 00:16:37,438
I guess I'll just have
to tell Ryan the truth.
395
00:16:37,476 --> 00:16:38,893
You could,
396
00:16:38,928 --> 00:16:40,679
but there's a chance he'll leave
397
00:16:40,854 --> 00:16:43,281
to go find his birth mother,
398
00:16:43,299 --> 00:16:46,980
and that would leave just you and I.
399
00:16:47,355 --> 00:16:49,720
Lots of quality time.
400
00:16:50,022 --> 00:16:52,907
You would have my undivided attention.
401
00:16:59,612 --> 00:17:01,165
Well played, mother.
402
00:17:02,567 --> 00:17:04,817
Very well played.
403
00:17:16,356 --> 00:17:17,334
George, open up!
404
00:17:17,353 --> 00:17:19,486
We know you're harboring Carmen!
405
00:17:21,876 --> 00:17:24,497
Oh! He reeks of ranchero!
406
00:17:24,617 --> 00:17:26,531
- She's not here.
- Oh, I see.
407
00:17:26,543 --> 00:17:28,670
And I suppose that's
someone else's gold Corolla
408
00:17:28,671 --> 00:17:32,349
with custom Carmen plates
parked in your driveway.
409
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:35,154
George! Flour or corn?
410
00:17:35,947 --> 00:17:36,835
Corn!
411
00:17:36,879 --> 00:17:38,393
He's trying to steal Carmen.
412
00:17:38,399 --> 00:17:39,757
I am not.
413
00:17:39,877 --> 00:17:41,459
But frankly, I wouldn't blame Carmen
414
00:17:41,465 --> 00:17:43,198
if she didn't wanna work
with either one of you.
415
00:17:43,205 --> 00:17:45,297
You're both acting crazy.
416
00:17:45,551 --> 00:17:47,815
And you know what?
417
00:17:48,047 --> 00:17:50,135
The two of you are so
anxious to hire someone
418
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:53,672
to take care of your kids,
but this time is precious.
419
00:17:53,723 --> 00:17:55,962
And sooner or later,
they're gonna push you away.
420
00:17:56,082 --> 00:17:58,865
And then you're gonna miss
the times when they did.
421
00:18:00,096 --> 00:18:02,551
Trust me. I know.
422
00:18:09,636 --> 00:18:11,463
Okay. Rock-paper-scissors for Carmen.
423
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,015
Yeah.
424
00:18:13,934 --> 00:18:16,645
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
425
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,998
That's it, buddy. We got her!
426
00:18:21,436 --> 00:18:24,026
George had been in the dad game long enough
427
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:25,522
to know that sometimes,
428
00:18:25,540 --> 00:18:27,899
just when you've convinced
yourself that you're not needed,
429
00:18:27,964 --> 00:18:30,952
that might be when your
kid needs you the most.
430
00:18:31,127 --> 00:18:34,780
And now a dance
from the "Medium" fan club
431
00:18:34,805 --> 00:18:36,507
of the TV show "Medium."
432
00:18:40,199 --> 00:18:42,150
Hey! Hey!
433
00:18:42,995 --> 00:18:44,121
You forgot the guitar.
434
00:18:44,140 --> 00:18:46,098
I didn't
forget the guitar, George.
435
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:48,269
It turns out I'm not like her,
436
00:18:48,470 --> 00:18:49,927
and I suck.
437
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,968
You know what?
438
00:18:56,088 --> 00:19:00,147
Sometimes you remind me
so much of your mother.
439
00:19:04,146 --> 00:19:06,198
It's the jacket.
440
00:19:06,318 --> 00:19:08,588
No, it's not the jacket.
441
00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:12,560
I used to have to give your mom a pep talk
442
00:19:12,592 --> 00:19:14,975
every time before she got up onstage.
443
00:19:15,376 --> 00:19:17,847
She always thought she was gonna suck.
444
00:19:19,586 --> 00:19:21,933
And sometimes she did.
445
00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:26,450
But most of the time...
446
00:19:26,981 --> 00:19:28,552
she was pretty damn good.
447
00:19:28,589 --> 00:19:29,478
It was the first time
448
00:19:29,515 --> 00:19:32,018
I had ever heard George
talk like that about my mom,
449
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:33,857
and the old George would
have felt too threatened
450
00:19:33,869 --> 00:19:35,427
to draw a comparison between us,
451
00:19:35,547 --> 00:19:37,398
but the new George must have known
452
00:19:37,404 --> 00:19:39,745
it was gonna make me feel better...
453
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:41,522
because it did.
454
00:19:42,171 --> 00:19:44,744
Wow! Oh, wow.
455
00:19:44,864 --> 00:19:47,728
I honestly still can't
believe that show got canceled.
456
00:19:48,348 --> 00:19:52,483
Up next is Tessa Alt...
oh, she's not back here.
457
00:19:52,603 --> 00:19:55,661
Tessa? Tessa Altman?
458
00:19:56,049 --> 00:19:58,937
Are you in, or are you out?
459
00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:01,773
I'm in.
460
00:20:02,655 --> 00:20:05,246
Hey. It's not too late to do "Peace Train."
461
00:20:05,366 --> 00:20:07,016
Dad.
462
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,546
This is
a song that my mom wrote,
463
00:20:17,666 --> 00:20:20,780
and my dad's the one who
taught me how to play guitar
464
00:20:20,799 --> 00:20:26,062
one million years ago, so
if I suck, it's their fault.
465
00:20:27,795 --> 00:20:32,387
♪ Against a woolen sweater that was blue ♪
466
00:20:33,356 --> 00:20:35,970
♪ that's all that I remember ♪
467
00:20:35,971 --> 00:20:38,456
♪ of you ♪
468
00:20:39,075 --> 00:20:43,899
♪ before you learned to
walk, I learned to run ♪
469
00:20:44,550 --> 00:20:49,679
♪ guess the ants really
go marching one by one ♪
470
00:20:49,686 --> 00:20:52,770
♪ when a train rolls in ♪
471
00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:56,561
♪ the doors open, I get in ♪
472
00:20:56,579 --> 00:20:59,753
♪ last night, I had ♪
473
00:20:59,873 --> 00:21:02,913
♪ a pleasant nightmare ♪
474
00:21:02,925 --> 00:21:04,170
♪ na-na-na-na ♪
475
00:21:04,290 --> 00:21:06,752
There are lots of things besides DNA.
476
00:21:06,779 --> 00:21:08,118
That connect people,
477
00:21:08,238 --> 00:21:11,347
and as the shays watched their potting shed
478
00:21:11,467 --> 00:21:13,211
and all its secrets burn to the ground,
479
00:21:13,217 --> 00:21:14,850
they reminded themselves,
480
00:21:14,970 --> 00:21:17,358
sometimes the things we hold on to...
481
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,348
♪ na-na-na-na ♪
482
00:21:18,354 --> 00:21:21,801
Aren't nearly as important
as the things we let go of.
483
00:21:22,154 --> 00:21:25,136
♪ na-na-na-na ♪
484
00:21:29,644 --> 00:21:34,411
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -