1 00:00:00,879 --> 00:00:03,354 All right, everybody. Great season of softball, 2 00:00:03,368 --> 00:00:04,703 I'm super proud of you, guys. 3 00:00:04,726 --> 00:00:06,615 And I think you're gonna like this 4 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,587 little highlight reel that I've put together. 5 00:00:09,098 --> 00:00:10,789 Dunder Mifflin! 6 00:00:10,883 --> 00:00:12,303 Andy Bernard presents... 7 00:00:12,399 --> 00:00:14,719 Summer Softball, epic fails! 8 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,474 Fail. 9 00:00:17,630 --> 00:00:19,062 Fail. 10 00:00:19,089 --> 00:00:21,209 - That's me. - Fail. 11 00:00:21,228 --> 00:00:22,479 Is this like a blooper reel? 12 00:00:22,526 --> 00:00:25,127 A blooper reel? What is this, 2005? 13 00:00:25,222 --> 00:00:27,122 Do I look like Bob Saget? 14 00:00:27,149 --> 00:00:28,643 Fail! 15 00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:31,279 Who's this guy? 16 00:00:31,402 --> 00:00:33,268 ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow meow, meow, meow, meow ♪ 17 00:00:33,270 --> 00:00:34,501 Look at him dance. Fail! 18 00:00:34,586 --> 00:00:35,619 Fail. 19 00:00:36,290 --> 00:00:37,566 I deserve that. 20 00:00:37,675 --> 00:00:40,566 ♪ Doont-de-doont-de-doont, doont-de-doont-de-doont ♪ 21 00:00:40,628 --> 00:00:41,844 That was a triple. 22 00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:44,634 Can't take the fail? Get out of the fail video! 23 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:45,759 My pleasure. 24 00:00:45,799 --> 00:00:47,278 Hi, I'm Pete. 25 00:00:47,334 --> 00:00:49,927 Puberty is such a drag, man. 26 00:00:50,029 --> 00:00:53,061 And I'm Clark. I like to eat toilet paper. 27 00:00:53,135 --> 00:00:54,768 We fail. 28 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:58,544 I'd like to take a solemn moment to remember Jerry, 29 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,827 in the warehouse, who passed away this year. 30 00:01:05,890 --> 00:01:07,824 Well, that's all, folks. 31 00:01:08,063 --> 00:01:09,996 Ski you later, everybody. 32 00:01:10,067 --> 00:01:11,690 Thanks for a great season. 33 00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:13,385 What was that? 34 00:01:13,410 --> 00:01:16,058 That was just normal video with you making vulgar noises. 35 00:01:16,095 --> 00:01:18,054 Well, I worked with what I had, Oscar. 36 00:01:18,091 --> 00:01:21,672 Next time, do more fail-ier stuff, okay? 37 00:01:21,779 --> 00:01:23,416 What happened to that video I sent you? 38 00:01:23,477 --> 00:01:25,467 Oh, that wasn't-- that didn't work. 39 00:01:25,577 --> 00:01:26,643 That was... not the right thing. 40 00:01:26,645 --> 00:01:27,710 - Wait, let's see it. - Play it. 41 00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:30,413 - I think I got it right here. - No-- 42 00:01:36,987 --> 00:01:38,988 Oh! 43 00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:41,357 Forgot about this. 44 00:01:42,794 --> 00:01:44,093 That was not a fail. 45 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,108 That was actually a serious accident 46 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,051 that could've resulted in severe bodily harm. 47 00:01:48,092 --> 00:01:49,905 - Fail, fail, fail. - You're all failing right now. 48 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,869 Congratulations on your epic fail 49 00:01:51,887 --> 00:01:54,020 of the use of the word fail. 50 00:02:05,357 --> 00:02:07,607 Oh, God. 51 00:02:08,805 --> 00:02:10,071 What's going on? 52 00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:12,461 Nothing, nothing is going on. Keep moving, please. 53 00:02:12,492 --> 00:02:13,564 What's he measuring? 54 00:02:13,573 --> 00:02:15,811 Okay, excuse me, I'm the landlord. 55 00:02:15,827 --> 00:02:17,060 This is between me and the management, 56 00:02:17,062 --> 00:02:18,361 no one else, please. 57 00:02:18,375 --> 00:02:19,975 It's an EMF hotspot. 58 00:02:19,995 --> 00:02:21,394 Oh, my God! 59 00:02:21,421 --> 00:02:23,903 It stands for electromagnetic fields generally caused 60 00:02:23,908 --> 00:02:26,539 by a concentration of wiring in one area, 61 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,829 especially if poorly insulated. 62 00:02:28,893 --> 00:02:29,919 Dwight? 63 00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:33,147 Um, okay, I'm just walking into this. 64 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:36,179 Am I to understand there's a beehive in the wall? 65 00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:38,942 You think I have a machine for measuring beehives? 66 00:02:39,018 --> 00:02:40,718 I was just asking a question, Toby. 67 00:02:40,752 --> 00:02:42,218 How are you not murdered every hour? 68 00:02:42,889 --> 00:02:45,880 Well, I'm not getting paid to work in a microwave oven. 69 00:02:45,952 --> 00:02:49,127 Okay, listen, everything here is up to code. 70 00:02:49,214 --> 00:02:51,915 Oh, the wires need insulation. 71 00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:55,298 It's a wire, people. I'm not buying it a fur coat. 72 00:03:00,037 --> 00:03:01,371 - Thank you. - You got it. 73 00:03:01,404 --> 00:03:04,778 Last week, I finally told Pam about the other job 74 00:03:04,797 --> 00:03:06,881 - I took in Philly, the side job. - Thank you. 75 00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:10,331 And she was so incredibly cool about it. 76 00:03:10,548 --> 00:03:14,392 And now, I just want to do something huge for her. 77 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,962 Like if we were in some biker bar, 78 00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:18,513 and she mouthed off to some bikers, 79 00:03:18,543 --> 00:03:21,225 and they came lumbering over, and I was like, "wham! 80 00:03:21,259 --> 00:03:23,693 Gotta go through me first." 81 00:03:32,653 --> 00:03:33,908 Andy, could I have a word, please? 82 00:03:33,932 --> 00:03:34,978 Um, it won't take a moment. 83 00:03:34,991 --> 00:03:36,442 It's extremely important, 84 00:03:36,473 --> 00:03:38,507 and it really has to happen now. 85 00:03:39,047 --> 00:03:41,159 Fine, I will give you one minute-- 86 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,865 Oh, please, don't use the hourglass. 87 00:03:42,905 --> 00:03:45,072 You have one minute, and your minute has begun, 88 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,275 and no time will be added at the end, 89 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,161 even to accommodate this sentence 90 00:03:49,201 --> 00:03:52,069 with all of its baroque-dependent clauses 91 00:03:52,091 --> 00:03:55,760 and cascading turns of phrase. 92 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,860 I'm trying to adopt a baby. 93 00:03:57,949 --> 00:04:00,926 A baby what? A human? 94 00:04:01,357 --> 00:04:04,225 And the agency require character reference 95 00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:05,309 from my employer. 96 00:04:05,342 --> 00:04:06,342 Oh. 97 00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:07,667 You won't have to do anything. 98 00:04:07,679 --> 00:04:08,933 I would write the letter myself. 99 00:04:08,952 --> 00:04:10,674 You'd just need to sign it, so-- 100 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:16,490 Okay, and fall right into your plagiarism-entrapment scheme? 101 00:04:16,587 --> 00:04:18,191 - I don't think so. - It's not-- 102 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:21,538 And I happen to notice you're down to about 30 seconds here. 103 00:04:21,556 --> 00:04:23,157 Well, then, if I could just convince you that you-- 104 00:04:23,188 --> 00:04:25,450 And those sand grains are tumbling with fury down-- 105 00:04:25,469 --> 00:04:28,057 It's not entrapment if I'm writing-- 106 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:29,459 Time's up! 107 00:04:29,679 --> 00:04:31,033 Fine. 108 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,376 Sure, I'll read her letter, 109 00:04:33,401 --> 00:04:35,032 and if she tells the truth 110 00:04:35,063 --> 00:04:37,634 about how evil and unfit to be a mother she is, 111 00:04:37,664 --> 00:04:39,721 then, yeah, I'll sign that. 112 00:04:39,819 --> 00:04:43,187 "Statistical correlations exist between EMF radiation 113 00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:45,641 and various health hazards, 114 00:04:45,643 --> 00:04:48,945 but mainstream studies are inconclusive." 115 00:04:48,947 --> 00:04:51,581 That means you can't make me do squat. 116 00:04:51,683 --> 00:04:52,682 You better fix this. 117 00:04:52,753 --> 00:04:53,908 I already ditched my uterus, 118 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,671 and I ain't losing any more good parts. 119 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,387 You people don't realize what you're asking. 120 00:04:57,389 --> 00:04:59,188 I'd have to rip open the walls. 121 00:04:59,190 --> 00:05:01,978 I'd have to shut this place down for a week. 122 00:05:02,993 --> 00:05:05,126 Week off. That'd be great. 123 00:05:16,292 --> 00:05:18,022 Hey, if you don't want to teach me PowerPoint, 124 00:05:18,046 --> 00:05:18,802 just say so. 125 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:20,190 I don't want to teach you PowerPoint. 126 00:05:20,211 --> 00:05:22,478 Come on. Just show me PowerPoint. 127 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,843 - Just do the tutorial. - You're the tutorial. 128 00:05:24,905 --> 00:05:27,195 No, dude, I'm not. I'm not the tutorial. 129 00:05:27,252 --> 00:05:28,359 - You could be. - Mm-mm. 130 00:05:31,455 --> 00:05:32,889 What are you doing? 131 00:05:32,891 --> 00:05:34,557 Getting my wife a week off from work. 132 00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,506 You popped one kernel. 133 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,744 Awesome, right? 134 00:05:40,865 --> 00:05:42,865 So Creed is that dude's stepdad? 135 00:05:43,435 --> 00:05:44,838 Correct. 136 00:05:45,737 --> 00:05:48,181 Well, I don't know about the rest of you, 137 00:05:48,206 --> 00:05:50,637 but I'm just going to say it; I'm nervous. 138 00:05:50,742 --> 00:05:52,742 I have no idea what health problems 139 00:05:52,744 --> 00:05:53,907 this is all going to cause. 140 00:05:53,927 --> 00:05:55,434 - He's right. - What? Come on. 141 00:05:55,446 --> 00:05:56,745 I'm getting older. I'm losing my hair. 142 00:05:56,748 --> 00:05:58,502 - I'm sorry. - I'm gonna grow a third arm. 143 00:05:58,564 --> 00:06:00,040 I know what Jim is trying to do. 144 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,384 He's trying to get big, bad Dwight 145 00:06:01,386 --> 00:06:03,186 to shell out for a huge repair job, 146 00:06:03,188 --> 00:06:05,421 while Lucky Jimbo gets a paid vacation. 147 00:06:05,423 --> 00:06:07,190 Well, sorry, Lucky Jimbo, 148 00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:09,559 I can live very happily in a magnetic field. 149 00:06:09,561 --> 00:06:12,595 Most of my childhood heroes got their powers that way. 150 00:06:13,196 --> 00:06:15,820 Side effects of EMF include headaches-- 151 00:06:15,841 --> 00:06:17,089 Had them all my life. 152 00:06:17,131 --> 00:06:18,647 Breast pain-- 153 00:06:18,736 --> 00:06:21,237 No nobbies, no probbies. Nice try, Jim. 154 00:06:21,295 --> 00:06:22,861 Oof. Infertility. 155 00:06:23,312 --> 00:06:27,381 Yeah, right. 156 00:06:34,218 --> 00:06:37,653 Ah, there's my popcorn. Can you just grab that for me? 157 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:41,182 Keep your snacks on your side, Jim, idiot. 158 00:06:41,259 --> 00:06:44,566 - What the--? - What? 159 00:06:44,963 --> 00:06:46,496 Some of these kernels have crowned. 160 00:06:46,529 --> 00:06:50,004 That's impossible 'cause that's a brand-new bag. 161 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,245 Oh, my God. 162 00:06:56,286 --> 00:06:58,220 Andy! 163 00:07:01,326 --> 00:07:02,914 I'm going to drive you up to the lake, 164 00:07:03,014 --> 00:07:04,347 give you a whole week on the water, 165 00:07:04,373 --> 00:07:06,268 just you, me, and the kids. 166 00:07:06,363 --> 00:07:08,296 Oh, can we stop by that pie stand on the way? 167 00:07:08,411 --> 00:07:10,912 You mean, "Laverne's Pies, Tires Fixed Also"? Yes. 168 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,897 We will be doing that, and we'll be getting a dozen. 169 00:07:12,924 --> 00:07:15,158 A dozen different pies? 'Cause that means rhubarb. 170 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,159 Why would you say that? 171 00:07:16,161 --> 00:07:17,627 I meant four apple, four blueberry, 172 00:07:17,629 --> 00:07:19,751 two cherry, one peach, one chocolate. 173 00:07:19,782 --> 00:07:20,699 I thought that was implied. 174 00:07:20,724 --> 00:07:22,087 Yeah, okay, then. 175 00:07:22,113 --> 00:07:24,513 Ladies and gentlemen, I have heard your complaints, 176 00:07:24,519 --> 00:07:26,795 and we reached a settlement. 177 00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:27,982 So... 178 00:07:28,046 --> 00:07:30,747 We will be leaving the office for one whole week. 179 00:07:30,794 --> 00:07:32,327 Nice job. 180 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,567 In my contract, it is stipulated 181 00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:36,619 that I provide a temporary work space. 182 00:07:36,682 --> 00:07:38,282 It will arrive in one hour. 183 00:07:38,397 --> 00:07:39,478 What? 184 00:07:39,617 --> 00:07:40,950 - What's this? - Oh! 185 00:07:40,952 --> 00:07:42,818 - What? - Bring it in. 186 00:07:42,820 --> 00:07:45,521 Roll into the future with work bus. 187 00:07:45,523 --> 00:07:48,157 Say good-bye to wasteful buildings. 188 00:07:48,159 --> 00:07:49,590 These days, a mobile office 189 00:07:49,608 --> 00:07:51,471 isn't just for hotshot politicians. 190 00:07:51,496 --> 00:07:53,425 Now anyone can rent a work bus. 191 00:07:53,456 --> 00:07:54,922 If you've got a parking lot, 192 00:07:55,009 --> 00:07:57,509 a work space is just a phone call away. 193 00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:58,583 In this age 194 00:07:58,636 --> 00:08:01,030 of belt-tightening and less-empowered workers, 195 00:08:01,074 --> 00:08:02,073 a work bus 196 00:08:02,095 --> 00:08:05,645 is how tomorrow gets things done. 197 00:08:09,259 --> 00:08:10,825 - Shh! - Shh! 198 00:08:11,002 --> 00:08:12,179 Shh! $23.99 a page, yes. 199 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:14,063 - Six. Yes. - Yeah. 200 00:08:14,065 --> 00:08:15,098 Oh, sorry about that. 201 00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,132 Oh, my God! 202 00:08:16,134 --> 00:08:17,967 Oops. Sorry. 203 00:08:17,969 --> 00:08:19,257 Lose weight. 204 00:08:19,293 --> 00:08:21,460 I'm trying. Sorry. 205 00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:25,169 Ah. 206 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,938 The Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare 207 00:08:26,950 --> 00:08:28,307 pre-adoption standard? 208 00:08:28,325 --> 00:08:30,926 Oh, of course, you were adopted. 209 00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:33,198 I wish. 210 00:08:33,244 --> 00:08:36,728 No, I made some short lists, I had a couple of sleepovers, 211 00:08:36,755 --> 00:08:39,718 but I never managed to get in the end-zone. 212 00:08:39,781 --> 00:08:42,014 I don't know what it was. 213 00:08:42,072 --> 00:08:43,810 Not lovable, maybe? 214 00:08:43,929 --> 00:08:45,128 Oh, well. 215 00:08:45,130 --> 00:08:46,972 Listen, I'm really struggling with this form. 216 00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:49,503 But as you know the system, do you think maybe you could-- 217 00:08:49,776 --> 00:08:52,043 Absolutely, I know exactly what they want to hear. 218 00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:53,269 I would-- I would love to help. 219 00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:56,005 Oh, thank you so much. 220 00:08:56,037 --> 00:08:58,145 Just don't tell Andy because-- 221 00:08:58,176 --> 00:08:59,175 - He hates me. - And-- 222 00:08:59,202 --> 00:09:00,483 - Thinks I'm a monster. - That-- 223 00:09:00,512 --> 00:09:03,079 - Should go back to Loch Ness. 224 00:09:03,106 --> 00:09:06,361 Stretch. All right. 225 00:09:06,418 --> 00:09:09,152 How many times do you need to take a stroll? 226 00:09:09,154 --> 00:09:12,622 I-- my legs cramp up, okay? It's a circulation issue. 227 00:09:12,642 --> 00:09:14,141 Boy, I will hammer-spank your rear. 228 00:09:14,155 --> 00:09:15,662 All right, all right, gang. 229 00:09:15,694 --> 00:09:17,527 Let's just settle down. You're yelling in her face. 230 00:09:17,529 --> 00:09:18,995 It's a medical thing. 231 00:09:18,997 --> 00:09:20,296 Just-- You good? 232 00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:23,032 I'm good. I-- 233 00:09:23,034 --> 00:09:25,201 I'm so sorry for all of this. 234 00:09:25,641 --> 00:09:27,141 It's okay. 235 00:09:27,186 --> 00:09:30,354 You know what they say, a change is as good as a rest. 236 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,600 I-- I need to get to the paper, please. 237 00:09:32,677 --> 00:09:33,676 Sorry. 238 00:09:33,678 --> 00:09:34,523 Oh, God! 239 00:09:34,581 --> 00:09:35,880 - Oh, oh, my God! - Okay-- 240 00:09:35,957 --> 00:09:37,456 - Oh! - I'll get you a napkin. 241 00:09:37,546 --> 00:09:39,013 Can someone get napkins, please? 242 00:09:39,084 --> 00:09:41,250 You know what, it's fine. It's fine, let me just-- 243 00:09:41,252 --> 00:09:42,251 It's fine. 244 00:09:42,271 --> 00:09:45,039 Pam, I'm really sorry. I just-- 245 00:09:45,202 --> 00:09:47,202 I'm-- I'm really sorry about all that. 246 00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:53,097 Really? Smirking? 247 00:09:53,431 --> 00:09:55,333 What can I say? I love justice. 248 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,416 You forced me to spend money on needless repairs, 249 00:09:57,441 --> 00:09:59,710 and now you're locked in a prison bus, 250 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,766 and your woman drips with beverage. 251 00:10:01,906 --> 00:10:03,823 Hey, Dwight, I was trying to do something nice for Pam. 252 00:10:03,848 --> 00:10:05,782 Can you just help me out? 253 00:10:05,786 --> 00:10:07,876 Can we maybe take this thing somewhere, 254 00:10:07,901 --> 00:10:10,264 or do something to not make this the worst day ever? 255 00:10:10,388 --> 00:10:13,151 It's not my responsibility to solve your marriage problems 256 00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:16,538 by spending my money on gas. 257 00:10:17,942 --> 00:10:20,010 Andy! 258 00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:21,412 Yo! Toonces. 259 00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:22,211 You're the boss. 260 00:10:22,236 --> 00:10:23,805 Don't you think we'd all be a lot more productive 261 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:24,831 if while we were doing work, 262 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,188 we looked up and saw 263 00:10:26,206 --> 00:10:28,173 the best rural pie stand in Pennsylvania? 264 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,546 Ooh, I know I'd be more productive. 265 00:10:30,562 --> 00:10:32,543 - As would I. - No question. 266 00:10:32,586 --> 00:10:34,753 No! No! This is a work bus. 267 00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:37,210 The wheels are for transporting the work space 268 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,787 to and from the work site. 269 00:10:38,829 --> 00:10:40,095 What are you talking about? 270 00:10:40,121 --> 00:10:42,722 You're not the boss, Andy is. Andy? 271 00:10:42,831 --> 00:10:47,198 Pies, pies, pies, pies, pies, pies. 272 00:10:47,284 --> 00:10:51,257 All right! The fat people have spoken. 273 00:10:51,411 --> 00:10:53,645 Dwight, get this bus moving. 274 00:10:56,625 --> 00:11:00,048 Next stop, Laverne's Pies, Tires Fixed Also. 275 00:11:00,165 --> 00:11:02,398 Oh, yes! 276 00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,863 Yeah, Jim! 277 00:11:06,337 --> 00:11:07,525 So it looks like this work bus 278 00:11:07,556 --> 00:11:09,919 was a pretty good idea after all, huh? 279 00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:12,020 Get your foot behind the yellow line. 280 00:11:12,029 --> 00:11:14,029 You got it. 281 00:11:14,061 --> 00:11:16,829 Yeah, Jim! 282 00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:27,786 - Stop. - Come back. 283 00:11:27,826 --> 00:11:29,289 - Too late. - Mm. 284 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,991 ♪ Shabooya roll call, shabooya-ya-ya ♪ 285 00:11:33,024 --> 00:11:34,275 ♪ Shabooya roll call ♪ 286 00:11:34,306 --> 00:11:35,740 ♪ Yeah ♪ 287 00:11:35,764 --> 00:11:37,014 ♪ I like to paint ♪ 288 00:11:37,015 --> 00:11:38,650 - ♪ Yeah ♪ - ♪ You think you're better? ♪ 289 00:11:38,681 --> 00:11:40,114 - ♪ Yeah ♪ - ♪ Oh, no, you ain't ♪ 290 00:11:40,138 --> 00:11:41,237 ♪ Roll call ♪ 291 00:11:41,270 --> 00:11:42,914 ♪ Shabooya-ya-ya ♪ 292 00:11:42,948 --> 00:11:46,316 ♪ Shabooya roll call, shabooya-ya-ya ♪ 293 00:11:46,388 --> 00:11:47,754 ♪ Shabooya roll call ♪ 294 00:11:47,818 --> 00:11:49,284 - ♪ My name is Kevin ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 295 00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:51,364 - ♪ That is my name ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 296 00:11:51,403 --> 00:11:53,103 - ♪ They call me Kevin ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 297 00:11:53,118 --> 00:11:55,318 ♪ Roll call ♪ 298 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,754 ♪ Shabooya-ya-ya shabooya roll call ♪ 299 00:11:58,756 --> 00:12:02,058 ♪ Shabooya-ya-ya shabooya roll call ♪ 300 00:12:10,915 --> 00:12:11,949 Thanks. 301 00:12:11,970 --> 00:12:15,205 Playing a little hooky from work today. 302 00:12:17,062 --> 00:12:19,313 Oh, my God. 303 00:12:19,921 --> 00:12:23,178 Dunder Mifflin road trip 2012! 304 00:12:23,380 --> 00:12:26,915 Okay, now a serious one. 305 00:12:27,049 --> 00:12:28,916 Hey, where's Dwight? He should be a part of this. 306 00:12:31,244 --> 00:12:33,245 Has he been acting kind of weird to you lately? 307 00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:35,791 If by "lately," you mean for the last 12 years, yeah. 308 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,789 No, I mean, he's sulking. That's not like him. 309 00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:39,493 He's just mad that we're all having fun. 310 00:12:39,808 --> 00:12:42,742 Then why isn't he scheming or preparing to avenge? 311 00:12:44,112 --> 00:12:47,047 He's fine. He's indestructible. 312 00:12:48,405 --> 00:12:51,185 Always say that a child is placed for adoption, 313 00:12:51,210 --> 00:12:53,477 never surrendered. 314 00:12:53,584 --> 00:12:55,217 We're not hostages. 315 00:12:55,313 --> 00:12:58,347 Although I have considered kidnapping one. 316 00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:01,543 Oh, and never say that. 317 00:13:02,374 --> 00:13:05,157 I am so excited thinking about this child 318 00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,196 you're going to adopt. 319 00:13:06,222 --> 00:13:07,986 I wish I could just wave a magic wand 320 00:13:08,011 --> 00:13:10,478 and make you a parentless five-year-old again. 321 00:13:10,551 --> 00:13:12,551 I would snap you up. 322 00:13:12,578 --> 00:13:14,457 Oh. 323 00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:17,005 Next stop, pies. 324 00:13:17,035 --> 00:13:18,501 Next stop, pies! 325 00:13:18,703 --> 00:13:21,953 Next stop, pies, next stop, pies! 326 00:13:21,971 --> 00:13:23,837 Let's go, driver! 327 00:13:23,864 --> 00:13:26,995 Laverne packs up the pie wagon at 5:00, so-- 328 00:13:27,165 --> 00:13:29,733 At 5:00? That's only 20 minutes from now. 329 00:13:30,048 --> 00:13:33,216 The pie shop is 13 miles away. 330 00:13:33,468 --> 00:13:35,282 So at 55 miles an hour, 331 00:13:35,309 --> 00:13:37,810 that just gives us 5 minutes to spare. 332 00:13:37,837 --> 00:13:39,870 So, wait, when pies are involved, 333 00:13:39,890 --> 00:13:42,412 you can suddenly do math in your head? 334 00:13:42,662 --> 00:13:46,801 Hold on, Kevin, how much is 19,154 pies 335 00:13:47,011 --> 00:13:49,545 divided by 61 pies? 336 00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:52,940 314 pies. 337 00:13:53,361 --> 00:13:55,394 What if it were salads? 338 00:13:55,427 --> 00:13:57,846 Well, it's the-- 339 00:13:58,876 --> 00:14:03,195 carry the four and the-- it doesn't work. 340 00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:06,035 I'm sorry to spoil Jim's fantastic voyage, everyone, 341 00:14:06,059 --> 00:14:07,425 but we're almost out of gas. 342 00:14:07,456 --> 00:14:09,456 Okay, well, I saw a station about a mile back, 343 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,746 so chop, chop. 344 00:14:10,764 --> 00:14:13,198 That name brand place? No, forget about it, sorry. 345 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:16,454 The tanks are so big on this thing, 5¢ a gallon extra? 346 00:14:16,544 --> 00:14:17,543 It really adds up. 347 00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:18,609 Are you kidding me? 348 00:14:18,646 --> 00:14:20,313 - Dwight, come on. - Hey. 349 00:14:20,388 --> 00:14:21,755 Honey, I don't think we should push him. 350 00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:22,979 Oh, no, I'm going to push him. 351 00:14:23,001 --> 00:14:24,776 You know why? Because you are getting a pie. 352 00:14:24,811 --> 00:14:26,377 Why? 'Cause you deserve it. 353 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:27,575 And what is he doing? 354 00:14:27,613 --> 00:14:29,300 He's trying to drive us all around the countryside, 355 00:14:29,331 --> 00:14:31,532 looking for gas because he knows we won't get there. 356 00:14:31,562 --> 00:14:32,577 Is that what we want? 357 00:14:32,602 --> 00:14:33,696 No! 358 00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:35,503 Stop ordering me around, Jim! 359 00:14:35,611 --> 00:14:37,511 Pies! 360 00:14:37,532 --> 00:14:38,531 When do we want it? 361 00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:41,811 - Pies. - Okay, fine. 362 00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,846 You win, Jim. You win. 363 00:14:45,871 --> 00:14:47,116 We have been battling for a long time, 364 00:14:47,141 --> 00:14:48,507 but, you know what, you win. 365 00:14:48,538 --> 00:14:50,277 'Cause you are the winner, you are the alpha male. 366 00:14:50,295 --> 00:14:51,215 There you go. 367 00:14:51,239 --> 00:14:52,837 Alpha male, go buy your wife a pie. 368 00:14:52,868 --> 00:14:54,368 Go buy the whole world a pie. 369 00:14:54,417 --> 00:14:56,498 That's impossible. 370 00:14:57,278 --> 00:14:58,578 - Oh, no! - Dwight! 371 00:14:59,037 --> 00:15:00,102 - What are you doing? - Dwight! 372 00:15:00,104 --> 00:15:01,470 - What the hell? - Whoa, Dwight. 373 00:15:01,472 --> 00:15:04,573 - Dwight. - What? 374 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,663 Well, now I don't even feel like pie. 375 00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:09,992 Wait. 376 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,592 No, it's back. 377 00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,633 Just drive away. 378 00:15:15,937 --> 00:15:17,534 Phyllis, that's not safe. 379 00:15:17,559 --> 00:15:19,859 Guys, we only have 18 minutes left. 380 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:23,043 At 61 miles an hour, we're just going to barely make it. 381 00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,883 Go up and check on him, he's upset. 382 00:15:24,964 --> 00:15:26,530 You know he's doing all this on purpose. 383 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:28,342 Please, just make sure he's okay. 384 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,569 Hurry it up, for God's sake. 385 00:15:31,589 --> 00:15:33,222 They're going to be out of banana cream. 386 00:15:33,249 --> 00:15:34,405 Banana cream's the first to go. 387 00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:35,791 We'd be lucky to get pumpkin at this point. 388 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,019 What? 389 00:15:39,044 --> 00:15:40,477 Dwight? 390 00:15:40,772 --> 00:15:42,267 Why are you such a jerk? 391 00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:45,076 I'm trying to do something for my wife, and you keep-- 392 00:15:45,126 --> 00:15:46,895 - I'm barren, Jim. 393 00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:48,644 What? 394 00:15:48,685 --> 00:15:50,706 My trouser hives are void of honey. 395 00:15:50,734 --> 00:15:53,878 I had congress with Angela, and the child that she bore 396 00:15:53,976 --> 00:15:55,943 did not issue from my loins. 397 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:59,214 Thought I would be a father, and instead I am a eunuch, 398 00:15:59,929 --> 00:16:02,522 neutered by my own building. 399 00:16:03,079 --> 00:16:06,114 Is this about the popcorn, or the X on the ceiling? 400 00:16:06,403 --> 00:16:08,585 Dwight, that was a prank. 401 00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,818 You mean you flooded my building 402 00:16:10,820 --> 00:16:13,454 with dangerous electromagnetic radiation as a prank? 403 00:16:13,481 --> 00:16:14,900 - No. - That's genius. 404 00:16:14,958 --> 00:16:16,290 That's the best prank you've ever done. 405 00:16:16,316 --> 00:16:17,916 I'll take it. 406 00:16:21,469 --> 00:16:22,119 Andy? 407 00:16:22,165 --> 00:16:23,778 Who is it? 408 00:16:24,097 --> 00:16:26,197 - Um, is this a good time? - Yeah. 409 00:16:26,256 --> 00:16:29,591 Perfect time, right in the middle of a rooftop crisis. 410 00:16:29,706 --> 00:16:32,206 Fine, yeah, let me read it. What do we have here? 411 00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:38,457 You've made this very easy for me. 412 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,981 It's unsignable. 413 00:16:39,983 --> 00:16:42,712 Oh. What, is there something--? 414 00:16:42,730 --> 00:16:46,932 It's inaccurate, dishonest, and, in a word, dong-water. 415 00:16:47,735 --> 00:16:49,779 Oh, well, perhaps I could reword some of it-- 416 00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:50,479 Here's the thing. 417 00:16:50,527 --> 00:16:52,059 You asked me to do you a favor, 418 00:16:52,061 --> 00:16:53,883 I did it, I read it. 419 00:16:53,905 --> 00:16:56,943 Thank you very much to me for my time. 420 00:16:57,534 --> 00:16:59,471 Good luck with your impossible dream. 421 00:17:02,017 --> 00:17:03,451 All right, then. 422 00:17:13,022 --> 00:17:14,322 Dwight, sometimes it takes couples 423 00:17:14,343 --> 00:17:15,643 years to get pregnant. 424 00:17:15,676 --> 00:17:18,445 Really? How long did it take you and Pam to conceive? 425 00:17:18,488 --> 00:17:19,487 That doesn't matter. 426 00:17:19,507 --> 00:17:21,009 What position did you use to conceive, 427 00:17:21,024 --> 00:17:22,524 regular or lady-on-her-back? 428 00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:24,625 You used lady-on-her-back, didn't you, freak? 429 00:17:24,664 --> 00:17:26,464 Yuck, gross. Never mind, Jim. 430 00:17:37,126 --> 00:17:39,693 British women, famously over-emotional, 431 00:17:39,707 --> 00:17:42,107 am I right? 432 00:17:42,178 --> 00:17:43,978 I don't think that's Nellie. 433 00:17:44,017 --> 00:17:46,502 - What? - Oh. 434 00:17:46,603 --> 00:17:49,070 Oh, no, no, no. It's all right. 435 00:17:49,085 --> 00:17:51,610 Really, it isn't your fault. 436 00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:55,537 No, no. It's-- You were so kind, 437 00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,762 and it isn't anything to do with you. 438 00:17:58,836 --> 00:18:01,504 Did you ever think that because you own the building, 439 00:18:01,575 --> 00:18:03,494 everyone in it, 440 00:18:03,578 --> 00:18:05,011 we're all kind of like your children. 441 00:18:05,326 --> 00:18:07,982 You know, there's a phrase about that in German, 442 00:18:08,146 --> 00:18:09,345 bilden-kinder, 443 00:18:09,372 --> 00:18:11,973 used almost exclusively by childless landlords 444 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,502 to console themselves, but now, 445 00:18:14,639 --> 00:18:17,106 I really understand it. 446 00:18:17,146 --> 00:18:21,649 Well, now you have a bus full of real building-kinder. 447 00:18:21,663 --> 00:18:23,081 - Bilden-kinder. - Okay. 448 00:18:23,219 --> 00:18:27,138 And they're all dangerously close to not getting pie. 449 00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:30,134 And there's only one guy who can save them. 450 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,666 It's not me. 451 00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:33,144 - I agree. - Oh! 452 00:18:33,185 --> 00:18:34,822 Oh. 453 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,324 Hey, how did it go? 454 00:18:36,384 --> 00:18:37,618 - It was pretty good, actually. - Yeah? 455 00:18:37,654 --> 00:18:39,220 We bonded, we got to t-- 456 00:18:39,235 --> 00:18:40,234 - Oh! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 457 00:18:40,236 --> 00:18:41,802 - Dwight, Dwight! - Dwight! 458 00:18:41,804 --> 00:18:43,838 That's what happens when you don't get out of the way. 459 00:18:43,877 --> 00:18:46,178 Out of the way! 460 00:18:47,028 --> 00:18:48,066 You feel okay now? 461 00:18:48,091 --> 00:18:49,190 Oh, better than okay. 462 00:18:49,239 --> 00:18:50,489 And you know what, honey? 463 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,580 I'm going to get you that rhubarb pie. 464 00:18:52,615 --> 00:18:53,983 Well, actually, rhubarb 465 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:55,278 - is the one pie that I don't-- - Don't, don't. 466 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,668 Everybody, hang on! 467 00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:11,165 Pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie! 468 00:19:23,656 --> 00:19:25,056 Oh. 469 00:19:25,114 --> 00:19:26,747 I changed my mind. 470 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:29,024 - Oh, you signed it? - Yeah. 471 00:19:29,153 --> 00:19:31,635 Not as is, obviously. 472 00:19:32,109 --> 00:19:33,242 Made a couple of changes, 473 00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:35,950 added some sentences at the end. 474 00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:38,761 Trust me, it needed it. 475 00:19:39,195 --> 00:19:43,064 But, yeah, whatever. 476 00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,104 "She's tough in business, but tender 477 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,605 with the people she cares about. 478 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,075 She'll make a wonderful mother to any child 479 00:19:54,139 --> 00:19:56,539 who can overlook weird accents." 480 00:20:00,817 --> 00:20:04,463 - I insult you, Oscar. - What? 481 00:20:04,646 --> 00:20:07,814 I insult you to your face. 482 00:20:08,091 --> 00:20:10,124 I don't know what you're talking about. 483 00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:12,969 Then why don't you do something about it? 484 00:20:13,197 --> 00:20:15,167 Kevin, are you trying to get me to hit you 485 00:20:15,212 --> 00:20:16,311 in the face with my pie? 486 00:20:16,638 --> 00:20:18,776 You don't have the guts. 487 00:20:18,811 --> 00:20:23,847 You stupid, dumb, doo-doo face. 488 00:20:30,379 --> 00:20:32,498 Yes! 489 00:20:32,782 --> 00:20:36,017 Oh, my God. I'm getting so stuffed. 490 00:20:40,178 --> 00:20:42,079 We did it. 491 00:20:42,125 --> 00:20:44,291 You did it. 492 00:20:51,530 --> 00:20:53,578 ♪ Yeah ♪ 493 00:20:53,603 --> 00:20:55,570 ♪ Yeah ♪ 494 00:20:55,603 --> 00:20:57,870 ♪ Yeah ♪ 495 00:20:57,872 --> 00:21:00,072 ♪ Yeah ♪ 496 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:14,920 Roll call. 497 00:21:14,922 --> 00:21:15,955 Roll call. 498 00:21:15,957 --> 00:21:17,523 Roll call. 499 00:21:17,525 --> 00:21:18,591 Roll call. 500 00:21:18,687 --> 00:21:20,493 What?