1
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,470
- Yo, pooh bear.
- We watching you, sucker.

2
00:00:15,170 --> 00:00:17,380
- Man, we run this bitch.
- Yeah.

3
00:00:17,570 --> 00:00:20,950
And when you work with your best
friend, it's not even like work.

4
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,200
I feel the same way, bro.
When working is hard work, I stop working.

5
00:00:24,270 --> 00:00:25,410
You know what we should do?

6
00:00:25,410 --> 00:00:28,710
Come up with a catchphrase, so we can say
it when we do something cool like that.

7
00:00:28,710 --> 00:00:31,880
It should be, like, a
combination of our names or...

8
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,910
- Ste-Zel.
- That's it.

9
00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:35,380
How did you just come up with that?

10
00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:37,750
- I'm black.
- Man, you are cool.

11
00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:40,090
Help! Help!

12
00:00:40,420 --> 00:00:42,790
No, no, no, no! Please, no!

13
00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:43,920
Ow, ow, no!

14
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,060
Oh, my God!

15
00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:48,970
Get out of here! Go on! What happened here?

16
00:00:48,970 --> 00:00:52,600
I was just minding my business when
this moose sexually assaulted me.

17
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,590
I'm gonna report this to the
National Park service, congress.

18
00:00:55,590 --> 00:00:58,350
I'll sue your...

19
00:00:58,510 --> 00:01:00,810
What are you doing?
No, no, no, no. Not again, no.

20
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,370
Now we're gonna ask you one more time.
What happened here?

21
00:01:03,370 --> 00:01:05,680
Nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing at all.

22
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:06,710
And whose fault was it?

23
00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:08,360
It was mine. All my fault.

24
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,080
You were asking for it, weren't you?

25
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,910
Walking around dressed like a whore.

26
00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:13,450
- Ain't that right?
- Whatever you say.

27
00:01:13,450 --> 00:01:14,770
I should have never worn this outfit.

28
00:01:14,780 --> 00:01:15,990
Good answer.

29
00:01:15,990 --> 00:01:17,420
Ste-Zel.

30
00:01:33,610 --> 00:01:35,060
What's the emergency?

31
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,970
Woody hasn't used the siren in years.

32
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:38,440
It's got to be something major.

33
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:42,940
It better be. I was having a good dream.

34
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,340
Oh, yeah.

35
00:01:47,450 --> 00:01:51,470
Oh, my God. I had the same dream.

36
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,790
Oh, yeah.

37
00:01:54,730 --> 00:01:56,030
Ste-Zel.

38
00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:58,740
Condition red armageddon shitstorm, people.

39
00:01:58,740 --> 00:02:02,110
The Secretary of the Interior is coming
for a surprise inspection today!

40
00:02:02,110 --> 00:02:05,020
Actually, it's not a surprise.
I put it on his calendar six months ago.

41
00:02:05,030 --> 00:02:07,810
Did you write "check calendar"
on the goddamn calendar?

42
00:02:07,810 --> 00:02:09,780
- Yes.
- Oh, you did, huh?

43
00:02:09,780 --> 00:02:13,010
Okay, we only got a few hours to
get this crap hole into shape

44
00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:16,110
before Sanders gets here.
Ladies, sweep the Park for dead animals.

45
00:02:16,110 --> 00:02:18,920
Sanders? You don't mean
Kirk Sanders, do you?

46
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,320
Yeah, yeah. Kirk Sanders.

47
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,800
Now that's a go-get-'em attitude.

48
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,860
Steve, I want you to start a forest fire.

49
00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:29,400
I'll do it without question, Sir.

50
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,110
Quick question. Why am I doing this?

51
00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:34,640
Because, stupid, when I put
the fire out, I'll be a hero.

52
00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:35,910
I'll get a promotion.

53
00:02:35,910 --> 00:02:41,130
Or at least get some of
those war crimes expunged.

54
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,570
- Yo, Woody, what's my job?
- Since when do you want a job?

55
00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:48,430
If this place shuts down, I don't get paid.

56
00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:50,200
I didn't want to tax you, Denzel.

57
00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:51,930
Just smile and try to be articulate.

58
00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:54,780
- What do you mean "articulate"?
- I'm sorry. Way over your head.

59
00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:56,390
It means well-spoken.

60
00:02:56,390 --> 00:02:58,490
I know what it means, you ignorant bastard.

61
00:02:58,490 --> 00:03:01,490
I want something important to do.
I'll be in charge of starting that fire.

62
00:03:01,490 --> 00:03:04,790
Okay, okay.
I'm sure you can do the job, Denzel.

63
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,420
- Sorry if I was racially insensitive.
- Thank you.

64
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,600
Of course you're qualified to start fires.

65
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,970
How else would he celebrate
an NBA championship?

66
00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:14,490
Ah! Wood-Loy!

67
00:03:21,610 --> 00:03:22,810
Man, screw those guys.

68
00:03:22,810 --> 00:03:25,480
I don't burn things because
my teams win championships.

69
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,250
I do it for the insurance money.

70
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:30,920
Oh, my God. A real black man.

71
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,550
I hope it's not too much to ask,

72
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:36,260
but I'd consider it an honor if you'd
bitch slap me as hard as you can.

73
00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:37,860
What? Get yo ass out of here.

74
00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:40,770
Denzel, that's rude.

75
00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:42,900
"Bitch slap. " That's offensive.

76
00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:44,170
I should slap that bitch.

77
00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:47,600
Steve, you have no idea what's it like to
be the only black person for miles around.

78
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:52,400
Everyone staring at me,
like I'm a criminal!

79
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:55,810
What? I don't see what you're so mad at.

80
00:03:55,810 --> 00:03:57,480
So people enjoy looking at you.

81
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,250
You're, like, a...

82
00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:02,620
- Like a monkey in the zoo?
- Exactly, you're like a monkey in the zoo.

83
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:03,990
Perfect analogy.

84
00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:06,090
Do you know how racist that is?

85
00:04:06,090 --> 00:04:09,460
Racist? Come on.
We both know there's no racism anymore.

86
00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:12,530
It ended the day Martin Luther
King landed on the moon.

87
00:04:12,530 --> 00:04:14,360
Man, you don't know what
you're talking about.

88
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,630
I would love to be black
in today's society.

89
00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:20,000
You set all the trends, and
you get to say the "N" word.

90
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,010
You have no idea how many times
I've wanted to say the "N" word.

91
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,640
You know what, Steve?
I need some time away from your dumb ass.

92
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:30,380
- Wait. You're not mad at me, are you?
- Oh, no. I'm not mad.

93
00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:34,700
Okay, now you're sending mixed signals.

94
00:04:35,230 --> 00:04:38,610
Uh, have you noticed this Park has
more dead animals than live animals?

95
00:04:38,610 --> 00:04:43,650
It might have something
to do with this... tree.

96
00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:49,890
Woody let them install it so he
could get free text messaging.

97
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:53,370
Good-bye, endangered friend.

98
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,790
So, Connie, have you been taking your meds?

99
00:04:56,790 --> 00:04:59,630
Because I noticed you went a little
more bat-shit crazy than usual

100
00:04:59,630 --> 00:05:02,540
when Woody mentioned
the name Kirk Sanders.

101
00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:05,300
Kirk Sanders!

102
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,280
Mm, mm-hmm. Like that.

103
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,320
There's something about me you don't know.

104
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:12,960
Before I came to Brickleberry, I
was trained to be a Navy Seal.

105
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,960
Sanders was my C.O.

106
00:05:16,690 --> 00:05:19,230
I was actually really good at it.

107
00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:21,500
But Sanders discovered my weakness.

108
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,030
And he used it against me.

109
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:25,200
Holy Jesus.

110
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,770
What is that? What the (Bleep) Is that?

111
00:05:27,770 --> 00:05:30,410
Sir, a four-course
Thanksgiving dinner, Sir.

112
00:05:30,410 --> 00:05:34,340
Why did you hide an entire Thanksgiving
dinner in your footlocker?

113
00:05:34,340 --> 00:05:36,750
Sir, I eat when I get nervous, Sir.

114
00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:39,280
So you like Thanksgiving dinner?

115
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:45,180
Well, from now on, you will be
eating Thanksgiving dinner 24/7!

116
00:05:57,300 --> 00:06:02,880
All the weight I gained sort
of affected my performance.

117
00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:08,810
These men are dead because of you!

118
00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:13,190
Now eat! They paid for it. You eat it.

119
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:18,050
And I've had a slight
weight problem ever since.

120
00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:19,560
That man ruined my life.

121
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:24,240
Oh, your life's not so bad. You work here.

122
00:06:27,030 --> 00:06:31,530
This should go up nice and quick. Whoosh!

123
00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:34,970
Hey, Denzel.
I just want to apologize for earlier.

124
00:06:34,970 --> 00:06:37,880
I don't know what it's like to
be in your shoes. We okay now?

125
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,810
- Yeah, we cool.
- Oh, and I got you this.

126
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:43,950
It's a pimp cup. It seemed weird
that you didn't already have one.

127
00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:47,120
- You did not just give me a pimp cup.
- What? You don't like it?

128
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:51,180
Yeah, of course I like it.
But that's beside the point.

129
00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:53,990
To your right, Mr.
Secretary of the Interior,

130
00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:56,100
you'll see that the
mountains are still there.

131
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:57,700
- Feel free to count them.
- Hmm.

132
00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,960
Does that bear have a pilot's license?

133
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,890
No, but don't worry.
I'm not as drunk as he is.

134
00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:03,460
Ooh, a fire.

135
00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:07,270
Can you believe the luck?
Hold onto your hat. This might be heroic.

136
00:07:07,270 --> 00:07:09,970
Just have to hit the water drop button.

137
00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:10,970
Poom!

138
00:07:10,970 --> 00:07:13,980
- That was the fuel dump button!
- Whoops.

139
00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:16,280
You think all black people
walk around with pimp cups?

140
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,780
- I thought you were smarter than that.
- That's unfair!

141
00:07:18,780 --> 00:07:21,260
What have I ever done to make you
think I'm smarter than that?

142
00:07:21,260 --> 00:07:24,720
- Wait, is that gas?
- You're right. Holy cow!

143
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,490
It's raining gas. We're gonna be rich!

144
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:29,650
Ste-Zel.

145
00:07:34,110 --> 00:07:35,770
Man. What happened?

146
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:40,030
Just relax now. You've both suffered
fourth- and fifth-degree burns.

147
00:07:40,030 --> 00:07:42,200
You did very well in surgery,
but I'm afraid there

148
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,020
was a teensy, tiny mistake
with the skin grafts.

149
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:47,370
Mistake? Wait, wait, wait.
What kind of mistake?

150
00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:52,590
I went ahead and took 3% off your bill.

151
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:53,700
Whenever you're ready.

152
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,540
White? Why the hell am I white?

153
00:07:59,590 --> 00:08:02,470
Hey, honest mix-up.
You were both burnt to a crisp.

154
00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:04,660
We knew that one of you
was African-American,

155
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:06,730
and your friend was the
one holding the pimp cup.

156
00:08:06,730 --> 00:08:08,470
That was all the evidence we needed.

157
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,080
Isn't this great, Denzel?

158
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,510
I get a chance to experience
life the way you do,

159
00:08:12,510 --> 00:08:15,430
and you get to discover how
lame it is to be white.

160
00:08:15,430 --> 00:08:17,770
I already know it's lame
to be white, Steve!

161
00:08:17,770 --> 00:08:20,680
Ah, from now on, I'm black Steve.

162
00:08:20,770 --> 00:08:24,060
- I'm not gonna call you black Steve.
- Ah, you just did.

163
00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:26,230
- Holler.
- Ugh.

164
00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:29,450
Doc, look. You got to get me back into
some beautiful black skin, right now.

165
00:08:29,450 --> 00:08:31,570
Ooh, smallish problem. We're all out.

166
00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:33,820
Your friend, black Steve, is very fat.

167
00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:37,180
Aw, man, I can't be white.
Anything but white.

168
00:08:37,180 --> 00:08:39,880
Tell you what, I've got a roll of
Mexican I've been trying to get rid of.

169
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,920
No, no, no. White is fine. Thank you.

170
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:47,110
As any numb nuts can see, the cause
of the fire was not natural.

171
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,610
I'm certain we are dealing with
something far more sinister.

172
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:51,780
Arson.

173
00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:54,980
What kind of depraved monster
would do something like this?

174
00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:59,220
Hmm, for some reason, I have
the feeling he has a mustache.

175
00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:02,550
Most arsonists have a mustache.

176
00:09:02,550 --> 00:09:05,330
Mustache? Arsonist?

177
00:09:05,330 --> 00:09:07,470
Very funny, Malloy.

178
00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:08,990
You little bastard.

179
00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:14,890
My hand to heaven, whoever's behind
this is gonna get the chair!

180
00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:18,850
Hey! I know you.

181
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,010
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.

182
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:24,440
You are that man hooker in
Hanoi that I went down on.

183
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:27,350
That's right.
I'm a male prostitute from Hanoi.

184
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:30,180
- Thanks for going down on me.
- You're welcome.

185
00:09:30,180 --> 00:09:33,280
Woo, you put on a couple pounds,
didn't you, Phuong Kim?

186
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:35,920
Wait. You're not vietnamese.

187
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,890
Now I remember you!

188
00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:41,560
You are that waste of space
that washed out of my program.

189
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:47,440
I knew that you would wind up
in a garbage dump like this.

190
00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:51,850
Who's the nerd?

191
00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:55,410
Malloy, I know he looks like a lame,
white douche, but it's Denzel.

192
00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:57,280
Hey, no matter what color
I am on the outside,

193
00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:00,210
on the inside, I'll always
be a dignified black man.

194
00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:03,330
That makes two of us.

195
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:23,230
- What's up, niggers?
- What? Niggers?

196
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,840
Oh, hell no.

197
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,670
You ain't allowed to say our
word, you white bread cracker.

198
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:31,040
See, Denzel, when Steve says
it, it's empowering and cool,

199
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,610
when we say it, it's a slur.

200
00:10:32,610 --> 00:10:34,610
We? Are you crazy? I'm black!

201
00:10:34,610 --> 00:10:36,240
- No, not really.
- Not so much.

202
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,520
- You watch your mouth, white boy.
- Hey!

203
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,090
See? Don't make black
Steve have to pop off!

204
00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:42,430
Stop talking like that.

205
00:10:42,430 --> 00:10:46,300
- Back up, back up! Back that ass up!
- Fellas! We don't need a race riot here.

206
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,510
But if we have one, I'd
like you to know right now

207
00:10:48,510 --> 00:10:50,220
that I'm siding with the blacks.

208
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:53,540
I'm sure baby powder over here didn't
mean anything by it, black Steve.

209
00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:55,080
Stop calling him black Steve!

210
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:59,100
You need to be cool like menthol's,
relaxed like Jheri Curl, baby.

211
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:02,110
Listen, Woodrow, black
Steve's gots to bounce.

212
00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:04,170
I need to adjust to the
dubious ramifications,

213
00:11:04,170 --> 00:11:06,810
of my unexpected color-ification.

214
00:11:06,810 --> 00:11:09,780
- Malloy, translation.
- He wants the day off because he's black.

215
00:11:09,780 --> 00:11:12,250
- Sounds fair.
- A day off sounds like a good idea.

216
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:14,040
I think I need some
counseling or some shit.

217
00:11:14,050 --> 00:11:16,110
Denied! You've got work to do, Snowflake.

218
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,420
Aw, man. This sucks.

219
00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:22,460
Huh. We need to get you a new look.

220
00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:24,460
Jive turkey.

221
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:25,960
Word up.

222
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:29,080
Hmm, how about a retro look?

223
00:11:29,090 --> 00:11:30,800
Swing low...

224
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,440
Sweet chariot...

225
00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:38,410
Hmm. I like it, but I need
a style that's all my own.

226
00:11:38,410 --> 00:11:39,210
That's it.

227
00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:48,360
Wow. Who are you?

228
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,460
- Black Steve, baby.
- Do you mind if I touch your hair?

229
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,860
Not at all.

230
00:11:55,860 --> 00:11:58,930
See, Denzel! There's no racism.

231
00:11:58,930 --> 00:12:02,090
- These people love me.
- You look dumb as hell.

232
00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:06,710
Well, might as well embrace my new culture.

233
00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:13,010
Bikram yoga.

234
00:12:13,010 --> 00:12:15,230
Babybjorn.

235
00:12:15,730 --> 00:12:17,920
Arcade Fire.

236
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,560
Gluten-free.

237
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:21,360
Ah!

238
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,630
Bro, you forgot your...

239
00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:27,390
Caramel Macchiato.

240
00:12:27,530 --> 00:12:33,350
I can't take being white!
I got to get back to my roots.

241
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,940
Nah, look out! He's gonna grab you!

242
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,230
Hey, reading rainbow!
Don't let them put you on that slave ship!

243
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:50,480
- What are you two doing?
- And let the nagging begin.

244
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,080
I don't nag. I'm sick and tired
of you saying that I nag.

245
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,740
Oh, great. Now I sound like a nag.

246
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,730
- More like a bitch.
- Will you pipe down?

247
00:12:56,730 --> 00:12:58,460
I'm trying to spy on Sanders.

248
00:12:58,460 --> 00:13:00,240
He's got the arson evidence in his cabin.

249
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,730
Good. I hope that pathetic dickhole fries.

250
00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:04,960
I am the dickhole who ordered that fire!

251
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:08,110
- Mm-hmm. That changes nothing.
- Hey, this affects you too, Ethel.

252
00:13:08,110 --> 00:13:10,900
If the FBI traces it back
to Denzel and Steve,

253
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:13,820
all three of us would go up the
river and you'll be out of a job.

254
00:13:13,820 --> 00:13:15,700
I'll be homeless.

255
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:18,910
Steve will be getting
sodomized in the (Bleep)Hole.

256
00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:20,190
Oddly, that's a push.

257
00:13:20,410 --> 00:13:22,080
I need to steal that evidence.

258
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,840
But Sanders is a pro.
Only a ninja could get past him.

259
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,780
Yeah, I know. Too bad Denzel's white now.

260
00:13:26,780 --> 00:13:28,470
I said "ninja."

261
00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:32,240
We don't have a ninja, but
we do have a Navy Seal.

262
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:33,400
I won't do it.

263
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,320
Oh, so I guess you don't
want to keep your job.

264
00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:37,790
Don't you want to keep Woody out of jail?

265
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,050
Stupid question.

266
00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:42,700
Connie, think about it, this is the
Seal mission you never got to perform.

267
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:46,370
You'll finally have the chance to prove
to him that you do have what it takes.

268
00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:48,140
Prove to who? Kirk Sanders?

269
00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:50,600
Kirk Sanders?

270
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:52,300
I love doing that to her.

271
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,150
Black Steve, you're my hero.
Look over here, black Steve.

272
00:13:57,150 --> 00:14:00,210
Yoo-hoo, black Steve.

273
00:14:01,110 --> 00:14:03,590
What seems to be the problem, bacon grease?

274
00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:06,070
Your brake lights are out
and your tags are expired.

275
00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:08,850
- And?
- Look, I'm almost done with my shift.

276
00:14:08,850 --> 00:14:10,780
I'm just gonna let you off with a warning.

277
00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:13,350
A warning? Oh, I see how it is.

278
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,710
A black man can't get a ticket, huh?

279
00:14:15,710 --> 00:14:18,410
Denzel was right. Racism is real.

280
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:21,010
Well, Whitey just pissed
off the wrong brother.

281
00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:25,450
Ass-salami steak 'ums, my brothers,
this morning, I was a black man,

282
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,950
but now, I'm an angry black man.

283
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:32,160
I was the victim of police
discrimination and humiliation.

284
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:37,330
They refused to give me a ticket
because of the color of my skin.

285
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:39,230
I'm confused by your message.

286
00:14:39,230 --> 00:14:42,300
- I can't believe people are buying this.
- Well, I'm lost.

287
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,900
First you were mad that Steve
didn't think there was racism,

288
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:46,290
now you're mad that he does.

289
00:14:46,290 --> 00:14:48,510
He got off with a warning.

290
00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:49,760
Take it easy, egg white.

291
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,020
- We need to support black Steve.
- Man, whatever.

292
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:55,980
I said to myself, "black Steve,
it's time to take a stand."

293
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:59,520
Like when Harriet Tubman
blew up the challenger.

294
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,850
- All right. All right.
- Ah, my longtime friend, Denzel.

295
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,120
I'm not your friend. I hate you.

296
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,490
This man does not represent the black race!

297
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,830
What does he know about the black race?
He's not even black.

298
00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:13,710
I am black, bitch!

299
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:18,240
Take your hands off me, you white devil!

300
00:15:23,670 --> 00:15:26,880
Well Connie, it's go time. Now get psyched.

301
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:32,520
- Hooyah, hooyah, hooyah!
- Ow! You broke my goddamn nose!

302
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,720
Warning. I only got a warning.

303
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,120
Let's break down that word.

304
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:43,690
Warn... to give notice,
advice, or intimidation!

305
00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:44,700
Ing.

306
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:48,540
I do not know what "ing" means, but
if I had to guess, I'd say it means

307
00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:50,180
"(bleep) Black people!"

308
00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:51,970
Man, I am sick of that race-baiting idiot.

309
00:15:51,970 --> 00:15:55,340
Now, Denzel, we need to put
ourselves in his shoes.

310
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:58,410
- We don't know his struggles.
- He's only been black for a week.

311
00:15:58,410 --> 00:16:00,680
It might have been a tough week.
We don't know.

312
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:04,080
Wow, you guys are tolerant.
Maybe I misjudged this town.

313
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,450
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just because we talk like Morons,

314
00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:09,650
don't mean we ain't got a nuanced
understanding of social justice.

315
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:13,260
Personally, I always thought this
town could use a few more synagogues.

316
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:16,290
All right, I get it, but black
Steve don't bother you at all?

317
00:16:16,290 --> 00:16:17,600
I can relate to his message.

318
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,900
We didn't land on Fraggle Rock,
Fraggle Rock landed on us.

319
00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:23,370
Aw, man.

320
00:16:23,370 --> 00:16:25,560
There's got to be a way
to teach Steve a lesson.

321
00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:27,470
That's it. Hey, guys.

322
00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:29,000
You want to help me play
a joke on my friend?

323
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,710
What kind of joke?

324
00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:34,050
Man, come on now.
Don't y'all have white sheets?

325
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:35,900
That was a white sheet.

326
00:16:35,910 --> 00:16:37,880
I'm a bit of a bed wetter.

327
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,710
All right, guys. Now look.
We're not gonna hurt him.

328
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,010
We'll just give him a good scare, okay?

329
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:46,170
Yee-haw!

330
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,860
Ow, ow, ow, ow! Come on, boys.

331
00:16:48,860 --> 00:16:51,810
We gonna catch us a black Steve.

332
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,970
Yee-haw!

333
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:00,790
Where ya headed boy?

334
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,480
I'm off to the square
glasses and bow tie store.

335
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,730
- Get him!
- Unhand me at once!

336
00:17:05,730 --> 00:17:08,130
- Who are you?
- We the KKK, bitch.

337
00:17:08,130 --> 00:17:12,170
Triple "K"? I thought you guys just
provided emergency road services.

338
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:13,970
Ah!

339
00:17:19,530 --> 00:17:21,180
You can do this, Connie.

340
00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:23,480
Thank you, Ethel. Kiss for good luck?

341
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,830
No.

342
00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:26,040
Fingerblast?

343
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,800
Okay, I'm going.

344
00:17:32,710 --> 00:17:36,370
I did it. Take that, Sanders.

345
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:46,450
What's going on? This thing is supposed
to be able to hoist a Sherman tank.

346
00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:49,330
Uh-oh, Ethel. I shouldn't have
eaten those deviled eggs.

347
00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:51,250
What?

348
00:17:52,950 --> 00:17:55,370
What the... aah! Mustard gas!

349
00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:57,000
Ethel! Help!

350
00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,840
Well, what do we have here?
A flying humpback whale?

351
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,310
I'm not flying.

352
00:18:02,310 --> 00:18:05,280
So trying to pull a cover-up, are you?

353
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:09,750
You are way out of your league,
you disgusting fat-ass!

354
00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:11,380
Whoa. Whoa.

355
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:12,390
Whoa.

356
00:18:12,390 --> 00:18:14,920
You will never amount to anything.

357
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,120
Because you are a fat piece of...

358
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,710
Shiii...!

359
00:18:19,710 --> 00:18:21,630
Oh...

360
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:24,220
Oh, Jesus! He's dead.

361
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:25,730
You know what this means?

362
00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:29,700
I completed a mission.
I can be a Navy Seal.

363
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,220
- No fingerblast, Connie.
- Aw.

364
00:18:32,220 --> 00:18:35,220
- What are you gonna do to me?
- Oh, I think you know.

365
00:18:35,230 --> 00:18:38,210
Oh, God. Being black isn't
so much fun anymore.

366
00:18:38,220 --> 00:18:41,480
That's right. It's not all pimp cups
and bitches is it, black Steve?

367
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,450
Up here's a clearing.
It's the perfect spot for a...

368
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:46,240
Klan rally!

369
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,580
Oh, shit.

370
00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:50,460
Hey, brothers. Welcome.
Better late than never.

371
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:53,250
I love the new outfits. Very 2012.

372
00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:56,320
Oh, you know what?
We left our giant rebel flag in the truck.

373
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,590
Oh, we got extras.
Looks like you brought us a present.

374
00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:01,550
Oh, my God.

375
00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:06,950
Is that black Steve Williams,
the civil rights leader?

376
00:19:09,470 --> 00:19:13,430
You guys are all right. Grab him.

377
00:19:14,740 --> 00:19:17,450
Wait, everybody.
Are you sure you want to do this?

378
00:19:17,450 --> 00:19:19,920
Absolutely. Any last words?

379
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,100
I just have a message
for my friend, Denzel.

380
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:23,580
I just want to say I'm sorry.

381
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:26,070
Now, ho... ho... ho... ho... hold on.
I can't remember all that.

382
00:19:26,070 --> 00:19:27,810
Somebody get me an ink pen.

383
00:19:27,810 --> 00:19:29,620
All right. Start over.

384
00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:31,340
I'm sorry about...

385
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:34,350
"I'm sorry about..."

386
00:19:35,830 --> 00:19:37,740
"Forgive me, I love you, see you in hell".

387
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:39,460
Blah, blah, blah. Close enough.
Let's kill him.

388
00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:41,210
- Stop right there!
- Denzel?

389
00:19:41,210 --> 00:19:43,550
That man right there is white.

390
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,280
There was a surgical mix-up.

391
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,660
I am the black man.

392
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:49,620
- He's what?
- My goodness.

393
00:19:49,630 --> 00:19:54,060
You mean we almost hung a white
man because he has black skin?

394
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:57,560
Color really is only skin deep.
It doesn't mean anything.

395
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,170
Aw, man, that's great. You serious?

396
00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:00,860
Hell no. Hang 'em both!

397
00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:03,630
Looks like this is it, bro.
At least we're going out together.

398
00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:05,630
Ste-Zel to the end.

399
00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:09,370
I feel the same way, brother, but I
don't care much for your KKK friends.

400
00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:12,910
Ready? On three. One, two...

401
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,050
Hold on.

402
00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:17,020
It's raining gas, boys!

403
00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:20,080
We're gonna be rich!

404
00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:27,500
Ah, damn it, I meant to
hit the body dump button!

405
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:30,620
Ah, here we go. Poom!

406
00:20:35,230 --> 00:20:37,750
Ah, it's gonna be great being black again.

407
00:20:37,750 --> 00:20:41,560
And although I'll be white Steve,
I won't be the same Steve.

408
00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:44,020
I'll be more mature and sensitive.

409
00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:46,670
Well, friends, there's
something I need to tell you.

410
00:20:46,670 --> 00:20:49,550
- We both Mexican, ain't we?
- How'd you guess?

411
00:20:49,550 --> 00:20:52,900
Andale, andale! A-yi, yi, yi, yi, ya!

412
00:20:53,570 --> 00:20:55,680
Would you like to buy some oranges?