1
00:00:02,582 --> 00:00:04,592
Oh, hey, Stuart,
I got you
2
00:00:04,593 --> 00:00:07,126
a little souvenir
from my trip to space.
3
00:00:07,128 --> 00:00:09,596
Well, Howard,
that's very nice of you.
4
00:00:09,598 --> 00:00:11,598
Yeah, maybe. Open it first.
5
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,834
It's my official
NASA portrait.
6
00:00:17,371 --> 00:00:20,406
"To Stuart, your comic book
store is out of this world.
7
00:00:20,408 --> 00:00:23,610
Just like the guy
in this picture was."
8
00:00:23,612 --> 00:00:25,879
For the record, he also thinks
the Walgreens
9
00:00:25,881 --> 00:00:29,549
and the dry cleaners
are out of this world.
10
00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:30,717
That's not true.
11
00:00:30,719 --> 00:00:32,051
At the Walgreens,
12
00:00:32,053 --> 00:00:36,022
I was "over the moon"
for their store-brand antacids.
13
00:00:36,024 --> 00:00:37,757
Hey, Stuart, I see
you're getting ready
14
00:00:37,759 --> 00:00:38,925
for your Halloween party.
15
00:00:38,927 --> 00:00:41,628
Yeah, it's my annual attempt
to meet women.
16
00:00:41,630 --> 00:00:43,897
Ninth time's the charm.
17
00:00:45,099 --> 00:00:46,633
Would you like me to help?
18
00:00:46,635 --> 00:00:49,936
I do have a certain je ne sais
quoi when it comes to soirees.
19
00:00:49,938 --> 00:00:52,405
Thanks, but I can't afford
je ne sais quoi.
20
00:00:52,407 --> 00:00:54,674
How much for just quoi?
21
00:00:54,676 --> 00:00:56,309
You know,
you don't worry about money.
22
00:00:56,311 --> 00:00:58,278
- I'll take care of everything.
- Really?
23
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,813
Yeah, you'll love it. Ain't no
party like a Koothra-party.
24
00:01:00,815 --> 00:01:03,149
(chuckles)
25
00:01:03,151 --> 00:01:04,884
But you know
what wasn't a party?
26
00:01:04,886 --> 00:01:06,019
That hotel in Kazakhstan
27
00:01:06,021 --> 00:01:07,720
they put you up in
before the launch.
28
00:01:07,722 --> 00:01:09,022
I mean,
it's your last night on Earth.
29
00:01:09,024 --> 00:01:10,790
You'd think you'd get
one porn channel.
30
00:01:12,359 --> 00:01:14,460
Have you noticed
that Howard can take any topic
31
00:01:14,462 --> 00:01:17,964
and use it to remind you
that he went to space?
32
00:01:17,966 --> 00:01:20,033
Interesting hypothesis.
33
00:01:20,035 --> 00:01:21,267
Let's apply the
scientific method,
34
00:01:21,269 --> 00:01:23,636
perform an experiment.
- Okay.
35
00:01:23,638 --> 00:01:27,073
Hey, Howard, any thoughts on
where we should get dinner?
36
00:01:27,075 --> 00:01:29,142
Anywhere but the Space Station.
(chuckles)
37
00:01:30,244 --> 00:01:33,813
On a good day, dinner was
a bag full of meat loaf.
38
00:01:33,815 --> 00:01:36,099
But, hey, you don't go there
for the food,
39
00:01:36,101 --> 00:01:37,984
you go there for the view.
40
00:01:37,986 --> 00:01:39,552
It's fascinating.
41
00:01:39,554 --> 00:01:41,887
Let me see if I can
duplicate the result.
42
00:01:41,889 --> 00:01:44,440
Howard, I've
always thought
43
00:01:44,442 --> 00:01:46,559
the lemon was an
underrated fruit.
44
00:01:46,561 --> 00:01:48,394
Care to weigh in?
45
00:01:48,396 --> 00:01:51,748
Not really. (chuckles)
46
00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:53,499
Oh, well.
47
00:01:53,501 --> 00:01:55,785
You know, people say the Soyuz
capsule was a lemon.
48
00:01:57,037 --> 00:01:59,238
But, hey, that baby got me
to space and back.
49
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,424
(clicks tongue)
50
00:02:05,045 --> 00:02:08,381
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
51
00:02:08,383 --> 00:02:12,101
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
52
00:02:12,103 --> 00:02:13,636
♪ The Earth began to cool
53
00:02:13,638 --> 00:02:16,306
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
54
00:02:16,308 --> 00:02:19,075
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
55
00:02:19,077 --> 00:02:21,327
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
56
00:02:21,329 --> 00:02:23,313
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
57
00:02:23,315 --> 00:02:25,248
♪ Bang! ♪
58
00:02:25,273 --> 00:02:29,273
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x05 ♪
The Holographic Excitation
Original Air Date on October 25, 2012
59
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:33,275
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
60
00:02:34,473 --> 00:02:36,340
Ladies night
at the Cheesecake Factory.
61
00:02:36,342 --> 00:02:38,543
Does it get any better
than this?
62
00:02:38,545 --> 00:02:40,327
I hope so.
63
00:02:40,329 --> 00:02:44,198
Question. Do you think your
husband's fondness
64
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,267
for turtlenecks is an
expression of longing
65
00:02:46,269 --> 00:02:49,036
for his
missing foreskin?
66
00:02:50,739 --> 00:02:54,559
It's not getting any better.
67
00:02:54,561 --> 00:02:55,726
(text alert tone sounds)
68
00:02:55,728 --> 00:02:58,279
Uch. It's Leonard.
69
00:02:58,281 --> 00:03:00,347
He wants to go costume
shopping later.
70
00:03:00,349 --> 00:03:02,233
- I thought you liked Halloween.
- I do, it's just
71
00:03:02,235 --> 00:03:04,819
he wants to go to that party
at the comic book store.
72
00:03:04,821 --> 00:03:07,488
A lot of the guys that hang out
there are kind of creepy.
73
00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:10,524
- Like my husband?
- And my boyfriend?
74
00:03:12,044 --> 00:03:13,995
I'm, I'm sorry, Amy.
75
00:03:13,997 --> 00:03:16,530
You were saying something
about Howard's foreskin?
76
00:03:16,532 --> 00:03:18,666
Nice try, but you have
to go to that party
77
00:03:18,668 --> 00:03:19,884
'cause we're going.
78
00:03:19,886 --> 00:03:20,968
Yeah, I'm gonna go.
79
00:03:20,970 --> 00:03:22,753
It's just not my idea
of a good time.
80
00:03:22,755 --> 00:03:26,040
Leonard does thing he doesn't
like to make you happy.
81
00:03:26,042 --> 00:03:29,543
Yeah, he's my boyfriend.
Isn't that, like, his job?
82
00:03:29,545 --> 00:03:31,262
Then what's your job?
83
00:03:31,264 --> 00:03:33,447
Letting him make me happy.
84
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,601
I just think in relationships
85
00:03:36,603 --> 00:03:38,552
you get back
what you put into them.
86
00:03:38,554 --> 00:03:39,987
AMY:
That's not always true.
87
00:03:39,989 --> 00:03:42,556
Last night I gave Sheldon
my best come-hither look,
88
00:03:42,558 --> 00:03:44,058
and he responded
by explaining how
89
00:03:44,060 --> 00:03:47,228
wheat came
to be cultivated.
90
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:50,698
I guess I could probably try
a little harder.
91
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:53,584
You could start by taking
an interest in his work.
92
00:03:53,586 --> 00:03:54,919
Yeah, that's kind of a problem.
93
00:03:54,921 --> 00:03:55,887
Why?
94
00:03:55,889 --> 00:03:58,172
Not really clear on
what he does.
95
00:03:58,174 --> 00:04:00,591
He's an experimental
physicist.
96
00:04:00,593 --> 00:04:03,577
Yeah, I'm not really clear on
what that means.
97
00:04:04,796 --> 00:04:07,315
He takes hypotheses
and designs protocols
98
00:04:07,317 --> 00:04:08,916
to determine
their accuracy.
99
00:04:08,918 --> 00:04:11,135
Yeah, you're really
just making it worse.
100
00:04:13,388 --> 00:04:15,856
What kind of tea
would you like?
101
00:04:15,858 --> 00:04:19,310
I think I'm gonna try
green tea
102
00:04:19,312 --> 00:04:20,611
mixed with lemon zinger.
103
00:04:20,613 --> 00:04:23,564
Two tea bags in one cup?
104
00:04:23,566 --> 00:04:25,783
You're not at a rave.
105
00:04:28,937 --> 00:04:31,706
So, listen, Sheldon,
I was thinking,
106
00:04:31,708 --> 00:04:33,991
since this is gonna be
our first
107
00:04:33,993 --> 00:04:35,743
Halloween party
as boyfriend and girlfriend,
108
00:04:35,745 --> 00:04:39,447
I thought it might be fun for us
to go in a couples costume.
109
00:04:39,449 --> 00:04:41,966
I couldn't agree more.
110
00:04:41,968 --> 00:04:44,218
Really? I find that inconsistent
111
00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:46,654
with everything I know
about you.
112
00:04:46,656 --> 00:04:48,789
Oh, oh, on the contrary.
113
00:04:48,791 --> 00:04:51,425
Couples costumes are one
of the few benefits
114
00:04:51,427 --> 00:04:52,893
of being in a relationship.
115
00:04:52,895 --> 00:04:55,396
Now imagine this:
116
00:04:55,398 --> 00:04:58,349
you and I entering
Stuart's party
117
00:04:58,351 --> 00:05:01,852
and all eyes turn to see
America's most beloved
118
00:05:01,854 --> 00:05:03,020
and glamorous couple.
119
00:05:03,022 --> 00:05:04,188
Yeah?
120
00:05:04,190 --> 00:05:06,807
R2-D2 and C-3PO!
121
00:05:08,343 --> 00:05:10,995
Dibs on 3PO.
122
00:05:10,997 --> 00:05:14,665
Sheldon, when I said
couples costume,
123
00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:16,500
I meant like Romeo and Juliet
124
00:05:16,502 --> 00:05:18,869
or Cinderella
and Prince Charming,
125
00:05:18,871 --> 00:05:22,173
not two robots from some
silly movie I don't even like.
126
00:05:22,175 --> 00:05:23,841
Okay!
127
00:05:26,378 --> 00:05:27,878
I'm gonna let that slide
128
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,097
because I know you're hopped up
on tea bags.
129
00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:35,019
I make compromises
for you all the time.
130
00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:37,671
Just this once,
can't we find something
131
00:05:37,673 --> 00:05:39,140
that we're both happy with?
132
00:05:39,142 --> 00:05:43,811
Fine. How about one
of the most beguiling
133
00:05:43,813 --> 00:05:46,947
and influential couples
of the 20th century?
134
00:05:46,949 --> 00:05:49,250
Hewlett and Packard.
135
00:05:50,369 --> 00:05:53,070
Dibs on Hewlett.
136
00:05:53,739 --> 00:05:55,289
What, you want to be Hewlett?
137
00:05:57,709 --> 00:05:59,877
(knocking)
Anybody home?
138
00:05:59,879 --> 00:06:01,879
Hey-hey-hey,
what are you doing here?
139
00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:04,382
I just thought I'd
stop by and say hello.
140
00:06:04,384 --> 00:06:06,217
- Oh, what a nice surprise.
- Oh.
141
00:06:06,219 --> 00:06:08,302
I don't think you've
ever seen my lab before.
142
00:06:08,304 --> 00:06:10,554
No, I know.
It's long overdue.
143
00:06:10,556 --> 00:06:12,006
So, what ya doing?
144
00:06:12,008 --> 00:06:14,892
Better not be building
a robot girlfriend.
145
00:06:14,894 --> 00:06:17,561
No. Although Howard was
making some real strides
146
00:06:17,563 --> 00:06:20,514
in that area until
he met Bernadette.
147
00:06:20,516 --> 00:06:22,266
- You're kidding.
- Nope.
148
00:06:22,268 --> 00:06:24,435
Now the Lisatronic 3000
just sits in a box
149
00:06:24,437 --> 00:06:26,070
waiting for the phone to ring.
150
00:06:29,491 --> 00:06:31,058
Ooh! What's going on in here?
151
00:06:31,060 --> 00:06:32,576
Oh, no, no, no,
don't look in there.
152
00:06:32,578 --> 00:06:33,727
What, is it secret?
153
00:06:33,729 --> 00:06:35,329
No, it's a nitrogen laser.
154
00:06:35,331 --> 00:06:38,416
It'll cook your eyeball
like a soft-boiled egg.
155
00:06:38,418 --> 00:06:40,785
Oh. You might want
to put a sign on it.
156
00:06:40,787 --> 00:06:44,038
Sign right there.
157
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,091
Ah. "Danger," sure, sure.
158
00:06:47,093 --> 00:06:48,259
Yeah. What's, what's that?
159
00:06:48,261 --> 00:06:51,262
Uh, that is an
integrated ion trap
160
00:06:51,264 --> 00:06:53,013
and time-of-flight
mass spectrometer.
161
00:06:53,015 --> 00:06:55,516
Wow. High-techie-techie.
162
00:06:56,618 --> 00:06:58,719
What's this little box?
163
00:06:58,721 --> 00:07:02,890
That is a pencil
sharpener.
164
00:07:02,892 --> 00:07:04,809
Ooh, low-techie-techie.
165
00:07:04,811 --> 00:07:07,594
So, what are you
working on right now?
166
00:07:07,596 --> 00:07:10,114
- It's actually pretty neat.
- Yeah?
167
00:07:10,116 --> 00:07:12,616
Yeah. It's a front-projected
holographic display
168
00:07:12,618 --> 00:07:14,869
combined with laser-based
finger tracking.
169
00:07:14,871 --> 00:07:17,104
Here, I'll show you.
170
00:07:17,106 --> 00:07:20,291
We'll just put this
pencil over here.
171
00:07:20,293 --> 00:07:22,710
Sharp. Thanks to the machine
we saw earlier.
172
00:07:25,964 --> 00:07:27,465
Very good.
173
00:07:28,583 --> 00:07:33,504
And then a laser will map
the reflective surface...
174
00:07:33,506 --> 00:07:36,223
and voilà.
175
00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:40,561
Wow. That is amazing.
176
00:07:43,482 --> 00:07:45,933
You know, there's a foundational
idea in string theory
177
00:07:45,935 --> 00:07:48,736
that the whole universe
may be a hologram.
178
00:07:48,738 --> 00:07:50,654
What do you mean?
179
00:07:51,523 --> 00:07:52,639
(gasps)
180
00:07:52,641 --> 00:07:54,641
Oh!
181
00:07:54,643 --> 00:07:56,243
Wow.
182
00:07:56,245 --> 00:07:57,361
Uh-huh.
183
00:07:57,363 --> 00:07:58,979
Well, the holographic principle
suggests
184
00:07:58,981 --> 00:08:02,816
that what we all experience
every day in three dimensions
185
00:08:02,818 --> 00:08:08,289
may really just be information
186
00:08:08,291 --> 00:08:10,157
on a surface located
187
00:08:10,159 --> 00:08:13,260
at the farthest reaches
of our cosmos.
188
00:08:14,463 --> 00:08:18,665
So it's possible
that our lives are
189
00:08:18,667 --> 00:08:21,101
really just acting
out a painting
190
00:08:21,103 --> 00:08:24,388
on the largest canvas
in the universe.
191
00:08:24,390 --> 00:08:26,390
Hmm.
192
00:08:26,392 --> 00:08:27,775
What?
193
00:08:27,777 --> 00:08:31,729
Sometimes I forget
how smart you are.
194
00:08:31,731 --> 00:08:33,731
(chuckles)
195
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,687
You should visit
more often.
196
00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:44,625
What are you doing?
197
00:08:46,411 --> 00:08:48,462
Take off your clothes.
198
00:08:48,464 --> 00:08:50,047
What? Here? Now?
199
00:08:50,049 --> 00:08:51,248
Yeah. You got a problem
with that?
200
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:54,218
No, no. It's kind of crazy.
201
00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:56,387
I've never fooled around
in the lab before.
202
00:08:56,389 --> 00:08:57,671
Really? Never?
203
00:08:57,673 --> 00:08:59,390
No. I did have a shot
with the Lisatronic,
204
00:08:59,392 --> 00:09:02,810
but the extension cord
wasn't long enough.
205
00:09:07,682 --> 00:09:10,935
Before I forget, I'd like
your opinion on the menus
206
00:09:10,937 --> 00:09:13,270
I've prepared
for the Halloween party.
207
00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:17,724
The theme is "food
that goes bump in the night."
208
00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:22,947
"Creature from
the Black Forest Ham Lagoon."
209
00:09:22,949 --> 00:09:26,917
On Sesame seed Bunzillas.
210
00:09:27,919 --> 00:09:32,072
"Night of the Living
Garlic Bread"?
211
00:09:32,074 --> 00:09:36,343
It's funny because "bread"
sounds like "dead".
212
00:09:37,929 --> 00:09:40,798
I'm sorry, but these
are just ordinary foods
213
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,417
with the names bent
into tortured puns.
214
00:09:43,419 --> 00:09:46,520
The dishes themselves
are in no way Halloweenie.
215
00:09:46,522 --> 00:09:49,089
Ooh, Hallow-weenies!
216
00:09:50,442 --> 00:09:51,758
That's a good one.
217
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:55,429
They'll pair nicely
with my "Draculoni and Cheese."
218
00:09:56,464 --> 00:09:58,148
How do I do it?!
219
00:10:00,118 --> 00:10:01,368
That reminds me, I was thinking
220
00:10:01,370 --> 00:10:02,936
about wearing my NASA jumpsuit
as a costume.
221
00:10:02,938 --> 00:10:04,655
But then I realized everyone
would be, like,
222
00:10:04,657 --> 00:10:05,939
"Where's your costume?
223
00:10:05,941 --> 00:10:08,125
Why are you wearing your work
clothes, you nut?"
224
00:10:09,661 --> 00:10:11,996
Hello, boys.
225
00:10:15,734 --> 00:10:17,084
What are you smiling at?
226
00:10:17,086 --> 00:10:19,670
Nothing.
227
00:10:20,572 --> 00:10:22,122
You know where's there's
a lot of nothing.
228
00:10:22,124 --> 00:10:24,141
OTHERS:
Space.
229
00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:32,966
Boy, it's nice to sleep in
a bed with gravity again.
230
00:10:32,968 --> 00:10:34,768
Did I tell you
about the night
231
00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:35,686
my retainer floated out
232
00:10:35,688 --> 00:10:37,154
of my mouth
and into the air lock?
233
00:10:37,156 --> 00:10:41,992
Yeah, you mentioned it
once or twice.
234
00:10:41,994 --> 00:10:44,078
So, here we are,
235
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:47,031
just a couple
of young newlyweds.
236
00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:48,666
What to do?
237
00:10:48,668 --> 00:10:51,251
What to do to you?
238
00:10:55,156 --> 00:10:59,710
Astronaut Wolowitz,
reporting for booty.
239
00:11:01,129 --> 00:11:03,764
Preparing thrusters.
240
00:11:04,666 --> 00:11:06,767
We have liftoff.
241
00:11:10,672 --> 00:11:13,006
Are we clear to jettison
that nightgown?
242
00:11:13,008 --> 00:11:15,059
Okay, we need to talk.
243
00:11:15,061 --> 00:11:17,111
What?
244
00:11:17,113 --> 00:11:18,979
Howie, I know you
went to space.
245
00:11:18,981 --> 00:11:20,948
I'm incredibly
proud of you.
246
00:11:20,950 --> 00:11:22,533
But you might want to try
247
00:11:22,535 --> 00:11:23,851
and not bring it up
every minute.
248
00:11:23,853 --> 00:11:26,537
I don't talk about it
every minute.
249
00:11:26,539 --> 00:11:29,690
Tonight at dinner you went on
about it for an hour straight.
250
00:11:29,692 --> 00:11:31,825
What was I supposed
to talk about?
251
00:11:31,827 --> 00:11:34,411
We were eating
at Johnny Rockets.
252
00:11:34,413 --> 00:11:36,880
I'm just saying,
253
00:11:36,882 --> 00:11:39,049
people are getting
a little tired of it.
254
00:11:39,051 --> 00:11:42,136
So, I did this
amazing thing
255
00:11:42,138 --> 00:11:45,055
and I'm never allowed
to mention it?
256
00:11:45,057 --> 00:11:46,540
Of course you can.
257
00:11:46,542 --> 00:11:48,875
But maybe a good
rule would be
258
00:11:48,877 --> 00:11:50,844
to wait for people
to bring it up.
259
00:11:50,846 --> 00:11:55,048
Okay, no problem.
260
00:11:55,050 --> 00:11:56,100
It won't happen again.
261
00:11:56,102 --> 00:11:57,884
I love you.
262
00:11:57,886 --> 00:11:59,386
I love you, too.
263
00:12:01,239 --> 00:12:04,608
I can't tell you how
many times I dreamed
264
00:12:04,610 --> 00:12:09,363
I was in bed here
with you when I was...
265
00:12:09,365 --> 00:12:11,949
you know.
(clicks tongue.)
266
00:12:11,951 --> 00:12:15,919
What, I can't even point?
267
00:12:24,158 --> 00:12:27,794
So, basically, this is what's
called mag-lev technology.
268
00:12:27,796 --> 00:12:30,830
It uses very powerful
electromagnets
269
00:12:30,832 --> 00:12:33,549
to create a force strong
enough to overcome gravity.
270
00:12:33,551 --> 00:12:35,551
Here, you hold this.
271
00:12:35,553 --> 00:12:37,670
Whoa! That's heavy.
272
00:12:37,672 --> 00:12:40,139
Yeah. Oh, uh, you don't have
on any jewelry, do you?
273
00:12:40,141 --> 00:12:42,291
No. Why?
274
00:12:42,293 --> 00:12:44,811
A grad student forgot to take
out one of his piercings.
275
00:12:44,813 --> 00:12:47,096
Now he's on a
transplant list
276
00:12:47,098 --> 00:12:48,931
waiting for a
nipple his size.
277
00:12:50,267 --> 00:12:52,902
Now watch this.
278
00:12:52,904 --> 00:12:55,471
(low buzzing)
(gasps)
279
00:12:55,473 --> 00:12:59,108
Whoa!
That is very cool.
280
00:12:59,110 --> 00:13:01,360
Sometimes I like
to turn this on
281
00:13:01,362 --> 00:13:04,497
and pretend I'm the
super villain Magneto.
282
00:13:05,783 --> 00:13:08,084
It's getting a little
less cool, Leonard.
283
00:13:08,086 --> 00:13:11,337
But what I really am is
a very smart scientist
284
00:13:11,339 --> 00:13:13,089
who understands the
mechanics of the universe
285
00:13:13,091 --> 00:13:15,441
and is wearing the sexy black
underwear you bought him.
286
00:13:15,443 --> 00:13:17,326
There we go.
287
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:22,632
So, I thought the photo
booth for the party could
288
00:13:22,634 --> 00:13:24,717
either be creepy like
a mummy's tomb,
289
00:13:24,719 --> 00:13:27,687
or they also have the Tardis
from Doctor Who.
290
00:13:27,689 --> 00:13:29,639
A Tardis makes no sense.
291
00:13:29,641 --> 00:13:32,508
It's a time machine
from a science-fiction show.
292
00:13:32,510 --> 00:13:34,076
It has nothing to do
with Halloween.
293
00:13:34,078 --> 00:13:36,562
That being said,
if you don't get a Tardis,
294
00:13:36,564 --> 00:13:38,447
you stink
and your party stinks.
295
00:13:39,967 --> 00:13:41,567
Do you have a preference?
296
00:13:41,569 --> 00:13:43,069
I don't care. Get the Tardis.
297
00:13:43,071 --> 00:13:47,456
Yes! This party just
became a major rager.
298
00:13:48,408 --> 00:13:49,458
Oh, by the way,
299
00:13:49,460 --> 00:13:51,110
can I borrow your
bullwhip and fedora?
300
00:13:51,112 --> 00:13:53,246
Yeah, sure, whatever.
301
00:13:53,248 --> 00:13:56,332
I was thinking of dressing up
as Indiana Jones'
302
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:58,084
mocha-skinned love child.
303
00:14:00,087 --> 00:14:02,672
"Indian" Jones.
304
00:14:04,141 --> 00:14:06,459
Clever.
305
00:14:06,461 --> 00:14:07,810
What's wrong with you?
306
00:14:07,812 --> 00:14:09,378
Nothing.
307
00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:11,314
Oh, Howard, I've got
a party to plan.
308
00:14:11,316 --> 00:14:14,116
Don't make me
pull it out of you.
309
00:14:14,118 --> 00:14:16,152
Okay, here it is.
310
00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:18,938
Bernadette said you guys are
all sick of me
311
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:21,757
talking about my trip to space.
312
00:14:21,759 --> 00:14:23,192
Is that true?
313
00:14:23,194 --> 00:14:26,162
- No.
- Yes.
314
00:14:27,231 --> 00:14:29,699
We seem to have
different approaches here.
315
00:14:29,701 --> 00:14:31,400
I was going
for helpful honesty.
316
00:14:31,402 --> 00:14:34,904
I have no idea
what you're doing.
317
00:14:34,906 --> 00:14:38,024
It's called being nice.
318
00:14:38,026 --> 00:14:39,375
Okay. If you think
being nice
319
00:14:39,377 --> 00:14:41,544
will get him to shut up,
I'll try it.
320
00:14:44,014 --> 00:14:46,799
You know what, guys? Never mind.
I just won't talk
321
00:14:46,801 --> 00:14:50,303
about the greatest achievement
of my life ever again.
322
00:14:50,305 --> 00:14:53,088
Look at that,
the problem solved itself.
323
00:14:59,696 --> 00:15:02,231
Hello, boys.
324
00:15:04,501 --> 00:15:07,453
What if we were to go
325
00:15:07,455 --> 00:15:10,106
as dinner table favorites
salt and pepper?
326
00:15:10,108 --> 00:15:12,992
You know salt makes me retain
water and my cousin William
327
00:15:12,994 --> 00:15:16,412
was ground to death
in a pepper factory accident.
328
00:15:18,114 --> 00:15:19,332
How about
Raggedy Ann and Andy?
329
00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:20,466
I loved them
growing up.
330
00:15:20,468 --> 00:15:21,751
No, I don't think so.
331
00:15:21,753 --> 00:15:24,286
Those dolls represent
three things I do not care for:
332
00:15:24,288 --> 00:15:26,956
clowns, children
and raggediness.
333
00:15:29,426 --> 00:15:30,960
I think it's a lost cause.
334
00:15:30,962 --> 00:15:34,463
No. There are certain things
that say to the world,
335
00:15:34,465 --> 00:15:36,866
"I have a boyfriend,
and he's not made up."
336
00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,301
Matching costumes,
337
00:15:39,303 --> 00:15:41,704
hickeys and sex tapes.
338
00:15:42,839 --> 00:15:44,807
Pick one.
339
00:15:44,809 --> 00:15:47,576
What's a hickey?
340
00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:05,294
How do I look?
341
00:16:05,296 --> 00:16:06,445
Fine.
342
00:16:06,447 --> 00:16:10,716
Uh-oh, is someone a little blue?
343
00:16:14,604 --> 00:16:16,772
Come on, Howie,
that's like the funniest thing
344
00:16:16,774 --> 00:16:18,975
I've ever said in my life.
345
00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:20,393
What do you say?
You ready to go?
346
00:16:20,395 --> 00:16:24,146
To tell you the truth,
I'm not really in the mood.
347
00:16:24,148 --> 00:16:25,398
What are you talking about?
348
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,017
It'll be fun.
All your friends'll be there.
349
00:16:28,019 --> 00:16:30,185
Yeah, some friends.
They all think I'm boring.
350
00:16:30,187 --> 00:16:31,704
Maybe you should go
without me.
351
00:16:31,706 --> 00:16:34,156
No, if I'm there alone,
people might think
352
00:16:34,158 --> 00:16:37,893
I'm just a really short
person from Avatar.
353
00:16:37,895 --> 00:16:40,379
I'm sorry.
I just don't want to go.
354
00:16:40,381 --> 00:16:44,333
Hey, I just spent the last three
hours coloring myself blue.
355
00:16:44,335 --> 00:16:46,085
I'm gonna be
washing paint out
356
00:16:46,087 --> 00:16:48,220
of my Smurf for a month!
357
00:16:49,156 --> 00:16:51,223
Fine.
358
00:16:51,225 --> 00:16:53,259
Two weeks ago
I was an astronaut.
359
00:16:53,261 --> 00:16:55,811
Yeah, well, now you're a Smurf.
Keep walking.
360
00:16:58,381 --> 00:17:01,150
♪
361
00:17:01,152 --> 00:17:03,686
Oh, my God,
you guys look adorable!
362
00:17:03,688 --> 00:17:04,854
BERNADETTE:
Thanks, so do you.
363
00:17:04,856 --> 00:17:06,672
Slutty cop?
364
00:17:06,674 --> 00:17:07,890
No, sexy cop.
365
00:17:07,892 --> 00:17:12,895
Slutty cop only came
with a skirt and two badges.
366
00:17:12,897 --> 00:17:14,697
And Albert Einstein?
367
00:17:14,699 --> 00:17:16,999
Ja, und later
she's going to arrest me
368
00:17:17,001 --> 00:17:20,703
for goink fashter
zen da shpeed of light.
369
00:17:20,705 --> 00:17:23,456
I thought we said
in the car, no accents?
370
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:25,791
Sorry, Officer.
371
00:17:29,496 --> 00:17:32,131
Hello!
372
00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:35,417
It's a great party!
373
00:17:35,419 --> 00:17:37,253
Thank you!
374
00:17:37,255 --> 00:17:41,223
The monster foods,
they're really fun.
375
00:17:41,225 --> 00:17:42,641
Oh, yes, thank you.
376
00:17:42,643 --> 00:17:46,028
I like to think of fun things
like that because I'm fun.
377
00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:49,648
I'm not clinically depressed
at all.
378
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:51,867
Sheldon, get in here!
379
00:18:01,695 --> 00:18:04,497
I should've picked hickey.
380
00:18:04,499 --> 00:18:06,632
Hey, hey,
look at you guys!
381
00:18:06,634 --> 00:18:10,419
I'm Raggedy Ann, and
he's Raggedy C-3PO.
382
00:18:11,254 --> 00:18:14,123
It was a compromise.
I lost.
383
00:18:15,675 --> 00:18:17,760
Can you believe
Stuart's walking around
384
00:18:17,762 --> 00:18:19,261
taking credit
for this party?
385
00:18:19,263 --> 00:18:20,963
Who cares?
386
00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:23,099
What do you mean "who cares"?
Look at what I pulled off here.
387
00:18:23,101 --> 00:18:27,136
The deejay's on fire, there's
a Tardis photo booth in the back room,
388
00:18:27,138 --> 00:18:29,238
and, oh, my God, the food!
389
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,224
Stuart wanted Kraft
Draculoni and cheese.
390
00:18:32,226 --> 00:18:34,276
You're right, the party's
fantastic. Please, tell me more.
391
00:18:34,278 --> 00:18:36,478
I haven't heard enough
about it all week
392
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,647
because hearing about that
never gets old!
393
00:18:38,649 --> 00:18:40,232
Is this about the
space thing again?
394
00:18:40,234 --> 00:18:41,884
Well, I'm not allowed
to talk about it,
395
00:18:41,886 --> 00:18:44,670
but since you brought it up,
I went to space!
396
00:18:44,672 --> 00:18:47,406
Space, space, space!
Space, space, space!
397
00:18:47,408 --> 00:18:50,659
Whoa, Drinky Smurf.
398
00:18:51,545 --> 00:18:53,412
Can I talk to you
for a second?
399
00:18:53,414 --> 00:18:55,831
Great, now I'm in trouble.
400
00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:57,466
You happy?!
401
00:18:58,151 --> 00:19:00,136
You, out!
402
00:19:00,787 --> 00:19:03,439
You are being very rude!
403
00:19:03,441 --> 00:19:05,691
No, I'm not.
They're all being rude.
404
00:19:05,693 --> 00:19:06,742
And you're being rude.
405
00:19:06,744 --> 00:19:08,060
Me? What did I do?
406
00:19:08,062 --> 00:19:11,814
(falsetto):
"Oh, Howie...
407
00:19:11,816 --> 00:19:14,900
"stop talking
about space so much.
408
00:19:14,902 --> 00:19:17,686
Nobody likes it."
409
00:19:17,688 --> 00:19:21,290
(lowered voice):
I don't sound like that.
410
00:19:22,976 --> 00:19:24,126
You're my wife.
411
00:19:24,128 --> 00:19:25,861
You're supposed
to be on my side.
412
00:19:25,863 --> 00:19:28,113
I'm always on your side.
413
00:19:28,115 --> 00:19:30,649
Then why are you trying
to take this away from me?
414
00:19:30,651 --> 00:19:32,918
Being an astronaut is
415
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:37,039
the coolest thing
I'm ever gonna do.
416
00:19:37,041 --> 00:19:40,709
If I stop talking about it,
then I'm just...
417
00:19:40,711 --> 00:19:42,611
Just what?
418
00:19:42,613 --> 00:19:47,316
Just plain old
Howard Wolowitz again.
419
00:19:47,318 --> 00:19:51,570
Plain old Howard Wolowitz
is the best guy I know.
420
00:19:51,572 --> 00:19:53,239
You're just saying that.
421
00:19:53,241 --> 00:19:56,558
No, I'm not.
I married him.
422
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,694
On purpose.
423
00:19:59,729 --> 00:20:01,563
Come here.
424
00:20:01,565 --> 00:20:02,898
I love you.
425
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:04,566
I love you, too.
426
00:20:11,408 --> 00:20:14,627
Nothing to see here.
Just sexy police business.
427
00:20:16,213 --> 00:20:18,214
Just explaining
the theory of relativity.
428
00:20:18,965 --> 00:20:20,716
(whispers):
Twice.
429
00:20:29,505 --> 00:20:30,905
Hey, what you watching?
430
00:20:30,907 --> 00:20:31,541
I don't know.
431
00:20:31,542 --> 00:20:35,577
Raj sent me some video
of Buzz Aldrin.
432
00:20:36,121 --> 00:20:40,106
Here you go.
It's a Milky Way.
433
00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:44,510
The Milky Way's
a galaxy in space.
434
00:20:44,512 --> 00:20:46,679
I've been in space.
435
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:52,352
Here's a Mars bar.
436
00:20:52,354 --> 00:20:54,020
I'm an astronaut.
437
00:20:59,410 --> 00:21:01,093
And this one's a Moon Pie.
438
00:21:01,095 --> 00:21:04,614
I walked on the Moon.
439
00:21:04,616 --> 00:21:06,766
What have you done?
440
00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:11,833
Okay, I get it.
441
00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:15,835
== sync, corrected by elderman ==