1
00:00:03,213 --> 00:00:05,119
Oh, hey, Stuart, I got you
2
00:00:05,144 --> 00:00:07,677
a little souvenir
from my trip to space.
3
00:00:07,715 --> 00:00:09,865
Well, Howard,
that's very nice of you.
4
00:00:09,904 --> 00:00:11,904
Yeah, maybe. Open it first.
5
00:00:13,637 --> 00:00:16,012
It's my official NASA portrait.
6
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:21,186
"To Stuart, your comic book
store is out of this world.
7
00:00:21,251 --> 00:00:24,095
Just like the guy
in this picture was."
8
00:00:24,530 --> 00:00:27,093
For the record, he also thinks
the Walgreens
9
00:00:27,118 --> 00:00:30,045
and the dry cleaners
are out of this world.
10
00:00:30,182 --> 00:00:31,208
That's not true.
11
00:00:31,233 --> 00:00:32,185
At the Walgreens,
12
00:00:32,210 --> 00:00:36,179
I was "over the moon"
for their store-brand antacids.
13
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:38,505
Hey, Stuart, I see
you're getting ready
14
00:00:38,545 --> 00:00:39,711
for your Halloween party.
15
00:00:39,764 --> 00:00:42,683
Yeah, it's my annual attempt
to meet women.
16
00:00:42,711 --> 00:00:44,978
Ninth time's the charm.
17
00:00:45,892 --> 00:00:47,011
Would you like me to help?
18
00:00:47,042 --> 00:00:50,343
I do have a certain je ne sais
quois when it comes to soirees.
19
00:00:50,844 --> 00:00:53,094
Thanks, but I can't afford
je ne sais quois.
20
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,547
How much for just quois?
21
00:00:55,831 --> 00:00:57,121
You know,
you don't worry about money.
22
00:00:57,152 --> 00:00:58,599
I'll take care of everything.
Really?
23
00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:01,471
Yeah, you'll love it. Ain't no
party like a Koothra-party.
24
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,401
(chuckles)
25
00:01:03,712 --> 00:01:05,126
But you know
what wasn't a party?
26
00:01:05,150 --> 00:01:06,690
That hotel in Kazakhstan
27
00:01:06,715 --> 00:01:08,114
they put you up in
before the launch.
28
00:01:08,139 --> 00:01:09,300
I mean,
it's your last night on Earth.
29
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,216
You'd think you'd get
one porn channel.
30
00:01:13,146 --> 00:01:15,590
Have you noticed
that Howard can take any topic
31
00:01:15,615 --> 00:01:17,865
and use it to remind you
that he went to space?
32
00:01:18,209 --> 00:01:20,276
Interesting hypothesis.
33
00:01:20,666 --> 00:01:22,210
Let's apply the
scientific method,
34
00:01:22,237 --> 00:01:24,391
perform an experiment.
- Okay.
35
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:27,910
Hey, Howard, any thoughts on
where we should get dinner?
36
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:30,022
Anywhere but the Space Station.
(chuckles)
37
00:01:31,138 --> 00:01:34,513
On a good day, dinner was
a bag full of meat loaf.
38
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,570
But, hey, you don't go there
for the food,
39
00:01:36,595 --> 00:01:38,478
you go there for the view.
40
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,414
It's fascinating.
41
00:01:40,772 --> 00:01:42,723
Let me see if I can
duplicate the result.
42
00:01:42,851 --> 00:01:45,039
Howard, I've always thought
43
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,567
the lemon was an
underrated fruit.
44
00:01:47,879 --> 00:01:49,712
Care to weigh in?
45
00:01:50,752 --> 00:01:52,677
Not really.
(chuckles)
46
00:01:52,831 --> 00:01:53,706
Oh, well.
47
00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:56,500
You know, people say the Soyuz
capsule was a lemon.
48
00:01:57,349 --> 00:01:59,937
But, hey, that baby got me
to space and back.
49
00:02:00,021 --> 00:02:02,216
(clicks tongue)
50
00:02:05,795 --> 00:02:09,269
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
51
00:02:09,294 --> 00:02:13,151
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
52
00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:14,448
♪ The Earth began to cool
53
00:02:14,461 --> 00:02:17,481
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
54
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,387
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
55
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:22,186
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
56
00:02:22,205 --> 00:02:24,273
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
57
00:02:24,291 --> 00:02:25,416
♪ Bang! ♪
58
00:02:25,428 --> 00:02:27,928
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x05 ♪
The Holographic Excitation
Original Air Date on October 25, 2012
59
00:02:27,953 --> 00:02:30,453
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
60
00:02:31,491 --> 00:02:33,281
Ladies night
at the Cheesecake Factory.
61
00:02:33,322 --> 00:02:35,248
Does it get any better
than this?
62
00:02:35,370 --> 00:02:36,962
I hope so.
63
00:02:37,966 --> 00:02:41,064
Question. Do you think your
husband's fondness
64
00:02:41,093 --> 00:02:43,160
for turtlenecks is an
expression of longing
65
00:02:43,175 --> 00:02:45,942
for his missing foreskin?
66
00:02:48,107 --> 00:02:50,345
It's not getting any better.
67
00:02:50,435 --> 00:02:51,600
(text alert tone sounds)
68
00:02:53,353 --> 00:02:54,915
Uch. It's Leonard.
69
00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:57,040
He wants to go costume
shopping later.
70
00:02:57,336 --> 00:02:59,678
- I thought you liked Halloween.
- I do, it's just
71
00:02:59,702 --> 00:03:01,973
he wants to go to that party
at the comic book store.
72
00:03:02,026 --> 00:03:04,357
A lot of the guys that hang out
there are kind of creepy.
73
00:03:04,389 --> 00:03:07,106
- Like my husband?
- And my boyfriend?
74
00:03:08,868 --> 00:03:10,415
I'm, I'm sorry, Amy.
75
00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:12,966
You were saying something
about Howard's foreskin?
76
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,815
Nice try, but you have
to go to that party
77
00:03:15,833 --> 00:03:16,692
'cause we're going.
78
00:03:16,716 --> 00:03:17,595
Yeah, I'm gonna go.
79
00:03:17,607 --> 00:03:19,579
It's just not my idea
of a good time.
80
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:22,280
Leonard does thing he doesn't
like to make you happy.
81
00:03:22,347 --> 00:03:25,848
Yeah, he's my boyfriend.
Isn't that, like, his job?
82
00:03:26,719 --> 00:03:27,851
Then what's your job?
83
00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:30,053
Letting him make me happy.
84
00:03:31,874 --> 00:03:33,528
I just think in relationships
85
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,495
you get back
what you put into them.
86
00:03:35,503 --> 00:03:36,936
AMY:
That's not always true.
87
00:03:36,957 --> 00:03:39,160
Last night I gave Sheldon
my best come-hither look,
88
00:03:39,191 --> 00:03:40,729
and he responded
by explaining how
89
00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:43,290
wheat came to be cultivated.
90
00:03:44,979 --> 00:03:47,625
I guess I could probably try
a little harder.
91
00:03:47,768 --> 00:03:50,099
You could start by taking
an interest in his work.
92
00:03:50,242 --> 00:03:51,575
Yeah, that's kind of a problem.
93
00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:52,383
Why?
94
00:03:52,408 --> 00:03:54,691
Not really clear on
what he does.
95
00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:57,486
He's an experimental physicist.
96
00:03:57,511 --> 00:04:00,495
Yeah, I'm not really clear on
what that means.
97
00:04:01,219 --> 00:04:04,164
He takes hypotheses
and designs protocols
98
00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:05,630
to determine their accuracy.
99
00:04:05,655 --> 00:04:07,872
Yeah, you're really
just making it worse.
100
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:12,619
What kind of tea
would you like?
101
00:04:12,694 --> 00:04:15,837
I think I'm gonna try green tea
102
00:04:15,862 --> 00:04:17,161
mixed with lemon zinger.
103
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,806
Two tea bags in one cup?
104
00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:22,957
You're not at a rave.
105
00:04:26,305 --> 00:04:28,807
So, listen, Sheldon,
I was thinking,
106
00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:30,213
since this is gonna be
our first
107
00:04:30,238 --> 00:04:32,194
Halloween party
as boyfriend and girlfriend,
108
00:04:32,213 --> 00:04:36,357
I thought it might be fun for us
to go in a couples costume.
109
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,942
I couldn't agree more.
110
00:04:39,136 --> 00:04:40,992
Really? I find that inconsistent
111
00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:42,947
with everything I know
about you.
112
00:04:43,003 --> 00:04:45,485
Oh, oh, on the contrary.
113
00:04:45,528 --> 00:04:48,271
Couples costumes are one
of the few benefits
114
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:49,755
of being in a relationship.
115
00:04:49,807 --> 00:04:52,308
Now imagine this:
116
00:04:52,366 --> 00:04:55,317
You and I entering
Stuart's party
117
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:58,508
and all eyes turn to see
America's most beloved
118
00:04:58,539 --> 00:04:59,892
and glamorous couple.
119
00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:00,839
Yeah?
120
00:05:00,896 --> 00:05:03,513
R2-D2 and C-3PO!
121
00:05:06,018 --> 00:05:07,887
Dibs on 3PO.
122
00:05:08,989 --> 00:05:11,217
Sheldon, when I said
couples costume,
123
00:05:11,235 --> 00:05:13,367
I meant like Romeo and Juliet
124
00:05:13,395 --> 00:05:15,656
or Cinderella
and Prince Charming,
125
00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:18,801
not two robots from some
silly movie I don't even like.
126
00:05:18,825 --> 00:05:20,577
Okay!
127
00:05:23,295 --> 00:05:24,666
I'm gonna let that slide
128
00:05:24,696 --> 00:05:26,913
because I know you're hopped up
on tea bags.
129
00:05:29,564 --> 00:05:31,789
I make compromises
for you all the time.
130
00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:34,347
Just this once,
can't we find something
131
00:05:34,378 --> 00:05:36,103
that we're both happy with?
132
00:05:37,053 --> 00:05:40,779
Fine. How about one
of the most beguiling
133
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,731
and influential couples
of the 20th century?
134
00:05:43,899 --> 00:05:46,200
Hewlett and Packard.
135
00:05:47,525 --> 00:05:49,827
Dibs on Hewlett.
136
00:05:50,363 --> 00:05:52,120
What, you want to be Hewlett?
137
00:05:54,902 --> 00:05:56,571
(knocking)
Anybody home?
138
00:05:56,603 --> 00:05:58,603
Hey-hey-hey,
what are you doing here?
139
00:05:58,724 --> 00:06:01,062
I just thought I'd
stop by and say hello.
140
00:06:01,081 --> 00:06:03,031
- Oh, what a nice surprise.
- Oh.
141
00:06:03,056 --> 00:06:04,860
I don't think you've
ever seen my lab before.
142
00:06:04,879 --> 00:06:07,129
No, I know.
It's long overdue.
143
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:08,921
So, what ya doing?
144
00:06:08,964 --> 00:06:11,580
Better not be building
a robot girlfriend.
145
00:06:11,818 --> 00:06:14,644
No. Although Howard was
making some real strides
146
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:17,309
in that area until
he met Bernadette.
147
00:06:17,465 --> 00:06:19,066
- You're kidding.
- Nope.
148
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:21,510
Now the Lisatronic 3000
just sits in a box
149
00:06:21,528 --> 00:06:23,416
waiting for the phone to ring.
150
00:06:25,871 --> 00:06:27,908
Ooh! What's going on in here?
151
00:06:27,927 --> 00:06:29,358
Oh, no, no, no,
don't look in there.
152
00:06:29,377 --> 00:06:30,373
What, is it secret?
153
00:06:30,396 --> 00:06:32,149
No, it's a nitrogen laser.
154
00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:35,259
It'll cook your eyeball
like a soft-boiled egg.
155
00:06:35,405 --> 00:06:37,772
Oh. You might want
to put a sign on it.
156
00:06:38,505 --> 00:06:40,350
Sign right there.
157
00:06:41,027 --> 00:06:43,767
Ah. "Danger," sure, sure.
158
00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,211
Yeah. What's, what's that?
159
00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:47,952
Uh, that is an
integrated ion trap
160
00:06:47,970 --> 00:06:49,796
and time-of-flight
mass spectrometer.
161
00:06:49,864 --> 00:06:52,365
Wow. High-techie-techie.
162
00:06:53,917 --> 00:06:55,446
What's this little box?
163
00:06:55,470 --> 00:06:58,674
That is a pencil sharpener.
164
00:06:59,542 --> 00:07:01,459
Ooh, low-techie-techie.
165
00:07:02,542 --> 00:07:04,551
So, what are you
working on right now?
166
00:07:04,583 --> 00:07:06,802
- It's actually pretty neat.
- Yeah?
167
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:09,439
Yeah. It's a front-projected
holographic display
168
00:07:09,467 --> 00:07:11,783
combined with laser-based
finger tracking.
169
00:07:11,801 --> 00:07:13,769
Here, I'll show you.
170
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:17,202
We'll just put this
pencil over here.
171
00:07:17,223 --> 00:07:20,087
Sharp. Thanks to the machine
we saw earlier.
172
00:07:22,951 --> 00:07:24,452
Very good.
173
00:07:24,901 --> 00:07:29,489
And then a laser will map
the reflective surface...
174
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,416
and voilà.
175
00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:37,085
Wow. That is amazing.
176
00:07:40,039 --> 00:07:42,684
You know, there's a foundational
idea in string theory
177
00:07:42,715 --> 00:07:45,516
that the whole universe
may be a hologram.
178
00:07:45,662 --> 00:07:47,578
What do you mean?
179
00:07:48,322 --> 00:07:49,438
(gasps)
180
00:07:49,472 --> 00:07:51,472
Oh!
181
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:52,836
Wow.
182
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:53,979
Uh-huh.
183
00:07:53,999 --> 00:07:56,087
Well, the holographic principle
suggests
184
00:07:56,106 --> 00:07:59,941
that what we all experience
every day in three dimensions
185
00:08:00,036 --> 00:08:04,457
may really just be information
186
00:08:05,046 --> 00:08:07,052
on a surface located
187
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,621
at the farthest reaches
of our cosmos.
188
00:08:12,175 --> 00:08:15,111
So it's possible
that our lives are
189
00:08:15,129 --> 00:08:18,122
really just acting
out a painting
190
00:08:18,147 --> 00:08:21,157
on the largest canvas
in the universe.
191
00:08:22,326 --> 00:08:23,545
Hmm.
192
00:08:23,791 --> 00:08:25,174
What?
193
00:08:26,245 --> 00:08:28,774
Sometimes I forget
how smart you are.
194
00:08:28,962 --> 00:08:30,962
(chuckles)
195
00:08:34,969 --> 00:08:37,336
You should visit more often.
196
00:08:40,261 --> 00:08:41,499
What are you doing?
197
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,282
Take off your clothes.
198
00:08:45,451 --> 00:08:46,783
What? Here? Now?
199
00:08:46,801 --> 00:08:47,869
Yeah. You got a problem
with that?
200
00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:49,667
No, no.
201
00:08:50,392 --> 00:08:51,379
It's kind of crazy.
202
00:08:51,388 --> 00:08:53,074
I've never fooled around
in the lab before.
203
00:08:53,105 --> 00:08:53,911
Really? Never?
204
00:08:53,936 --> 00:08:56,340
No. I did have a shot
with the Lisatronic,
205
00:08:56,379 --> 00:08:59,357
but the extension cord
wasn't long enough.
206
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:08,116
Before I forget, I'd like
your opinion on the menus
207
00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:10,177
I've prepared
for the Halloween party.
208
00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:14,392
The theme is "food
that goes bump in the night."
209
00:09:15,636 --> 00:09:19,428
"Creature from
the Black Forest Ham Lagoon."
210
00:09:19,936 --> 00:09:23,904
On Sesame seed Bunzillas.
211
00:09:24,793 --> 00:09:28,409
"Night of the Living
Garlic Bread"?
212
00:09:29,061 --> 00:09:33,330
It's funny because "bread"
sounds like "dead".
213
00:09:34,297 --> 00:09:37,466
I'm sorry, but these
are just ordinary foods
214
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:40,315
with the names bent
into tortured puns.
215
00:09:40,368 --> 00:09:43,243
The dishes themselves
are in no way Halloweenie.
216
00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:45,857
Ooh, Hallow-weenies!
217
00:09:47,147 --> 00:09:48,270
That's a good one.
218
00:09:48,310 --> 00:09:52,120
They'll pair nicely
with my "Draculoni and Cheese."
219
00:09:52,994 --> 00:09:54,828
How do I do it?!
220
00:09:56,723 --> 00:09:57,832
That reminds me, I was thinking
221
00:09:57,857 --> 00:10:00,554
about wearing my NASA jumpsuit
as a costume.
222
00:10:00,584 --> 00:10:02,007
But then I realized everyone
would be, like,
223
00:10:02,032 --> 00:10:02,827
"Where's your costume?
224
00:10:02,858 --> 00:10:05,042
Why are you wearing your work
clothes, you nut?"
225
00:10:06,928 --> 00:10:09,263
Hello, boys.
226
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,977
What are you smiling at?
227
00:10:14,523 --> 00:10:16,329
Nothing.
228
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,934
You know where's there's
a lot of nothing.
229
00:10:18,998 --> 00:10:21,015
OTHERS:
Space.
230
00:10:25,617 --> 00:10:29,630
Boy, it's nice to sleep in
a bed with gravity again.
231
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:31,245
Did I tell you about the night
232
00:10:31,257 --> 00:10:32,283
my retainer floated out
233
00:10:32,308 --> 00:10:34,051
of my mouth
and into the air lock?
234
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:38,097
Yeah, you mentioned it
once or twice.
235
00:10:38,668 --> 00:10:41,287
So, here we are,
236
00:10:41,323 --> 00:10:43,857
just a couple
of young newlyweds.
237
00:10:44,407 --> 00:10:45,770
What to do?
238
00:10:45,836 --> 00:10:48,419
What to do to you?
239
00:10:52,449 --> 00:10:56,072
Astronaut Wolowitz,
reporting for booty.
240
00:10:58,035 --> 00:11:00,670
Preparing thrusters.
241
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,259
We have liftoff.
242
00:11:07,659 --> 00:11:09,605
Are we clear to jettison
that nightgown?
243
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,687
Okay, we need to talk.
244
00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:13,862
What?
245
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,747
Howie, I know you
went to space.
246
00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:17,734
I'm incredibly proud of you.
247
00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:19,002
But you might want to try
248
00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:20,343
and not bring it up
every minute.
249
00:11:20,690 --> 00:11:23,265
I don't talk about it
every minute.
250
00:11:23,357 --> 00:11:26,508
Tonight at dinner you went on
about it for an hour straight.
251
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:28,398
What was I supposed
to talk about?
252
00:11:28,423 --> 00:11:31,007
We were eating
at Johnny Rockets.
253
00:11:32,662 --> 00:11:33,628
I'm just saying,
254
00:11:33,653 --> 00:11:35,820
people are getting
a little tired of it.
255
00:11:36,456 --> 00:11:39,098
So, I did this amazing thing
256
00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:41,688
and I'm never allowed
to mention it?
257
00:11:42,075 --> 00:11:43,266
Of course you can.
258
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,427
But maybe a good rule would be
259
00:11:45,445 --> 00:11:47,412
to wait for people
to bring it up.
260
00:11:48,932 --> 00:11:51,680
Okay, no problem.
261
00:11:51,768 --> 00:11:52,980
It won't happen again.
262
00:11:53,488 --> 00:11:54,402
I love you.
263
00:11:54,442 --> 00:11:55,942
I love you, too.
264
00:11:58,419 --> 00:12:02,287
I can't tell you how
many times I dreamed
265
00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:05,917
I was in bed here
with you when I was...
266
00:12:06,352 --> 00:12:08,936
you know.
(clicks tongue.)
267
00:12:10,487 --> 00:12:13,500
What, I can't even point?
268
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:21,510
So, basically, this is what's
called mag-lev technology.
269
00:12:21,547 --> 00:12:23,936
It uses very powerful
electromagnets
270
00:12:23,956 --> 00:12:26,639
to create a force strong
enough to overcome gravity.
271
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:28,747
Here, you hold this.
272
00:12:29,203 --> 00:12:30,717
Whoa! That's heavy.
273
00:12:30,736 --> 00:12:33,544
Yeah. Oh, uh, you don't have
on any jewelry, do you?
274
00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:34,832
No. Why?
275
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:37,699
A grad student forgot to take
out one of his piercings.
276
00:12:38,575 --> 00:12:39,938
Now he's on a transplant list
277
00:12:39,963 --> 00:12:42,004
waiting for a nipple his size.
278
00:12:43,123 --> 00:12:46,030
Now watch this.
279
00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:48,634
(low buzzing)
(gasps)
280
00:12:48,717 --> 00:12:52,352
Whoa!
That is very cool.
281
00:12:52,710 --> 00:12:54,351
Sometimes I like
to turn this on
282
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:57,517
and pretend I'm the
super villain Magneto.
283
00:12:58,996 --> 00:13:01,473
It's getting a little
less cool, Leonard.
284
00:13:01,774 --> 00:13:04,800
But what I really am is
a very smart scientist
285
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,646
who understands the
mechanics of the universe
286
00:13:06,677 --> 00:13:08,559
and is wearing the sexy black
underwear you bought him.
287
00:13:08,596 --> 00:13:10,479
There we go.
288
00:13:13,518 --> 00:13:15,952
So, I thought the photo
booth for the party could
289
00:13:15,976 --> 00:13:17,967
either be creepy like
a mummy's tomb,
290
00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:21,006
or they also have the Tardis
from Doctor Who.
291
00:13:21,095 --> 00:13:22,994
A Tardis makes no sense.
292
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,613
It's a time machine
from a science-fiction show.
293
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,204
It has nothing to do
with Halloween.
294
00:13:27,259 --> 00:13:29,743
That being said,
if you don't get a Tardis,
295
00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:31,653
you stink
and your party stinks.
296
00:13:33,555 --> 00:13:34,956
Do you have a preference?
297
00:13:35,013 --> 00:13:36,232
I don't care. Get the Tardis.
298
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:40,635
Yes! This party just
became a major rager.
299
00:13:41,119 --> 00:13:42,230
Oh, by the way,
300
00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:44,451
can I borrow your
bullwhip and fedora?
301
00:13:44,593 --> 00:13:46,446
Yeah, sure, whatever.
302
00:13:46,510 --> 00:13:49,146
I was thinking of dressing up
as Indiana Jones'
303
00:13:49,164 --> 00:13:51,277
mocha-skinned love child.
304
00:13:53,487 --> 00:13:56,072
"Indian" Jones.
305
00:13:57,860 --> 00:13:59,795
Clever.
306
00:13:59,999 --> 00:14:01,199
What's wrong with you?
307
00:14:01,306 --> 00:14:02,507
Nothing.
308
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,594
Oh, Howard, I've got
a party to plan.
309
00:14:04,618 --> 00:14:07,071
Don't make me
pull it out of you.
310
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,433
Okay, here it is.
311
00:14:09,472 --> 00:14:12,161
Bernadette said you guys are
all sick of me
312
00:14:12,198 --> 00:14:14,872
talking about my trip to space.
313
00:14:14,953 --> 00:14:16,609
Is that true?
314
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,990
- No.
- Yes.
315
00:14:20,549 --> 00:14:22,441
We seem to have
different approaches here.
316
00:14:22,472 --> 00:14:25,021
I was going
for helpful honesty.
317
00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:28,111
I have no idea
what you're doing.
318
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,352
It's called being nice.
319
00:14:31,401 --> 00:14:32,934
Okay. If you think
being nice
320
00:14:32,964 --> 00:14:35,131
will get him to shut up,
I'll try it.
321
00:14:37,327 --> 00:14:39,877
You know what, guys? Never mind.
I just won't talk
322
00:14:39,895 --> 00:14:43,397
about the greatest achievement
of my life ever again.
323
00:14:43,536 --> 00:14:46,319
Look at that,
the problem solved itself.
324
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,862
Hello, boys.
325
00:14:57,906 --> 00:15:00,175
What if we were to go
326
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,851
as dinner table favorites
salt and pepper?
327
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,275
You know salt makes me retain
water and my cousin William
328
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,723
was ground to death
in a pepper factory accident.
329
00:15:11,339 --> 00:15:12,639
What about Raggedy Ann and Andy?
330
00:15:12,652 --> 00:15:13,683
I loved them growing up.
331
00:15:13,718 --> 00:15:14,971
No, I don't think so.
332
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,610
Those dolls represent
three things I do not care for:
333
00:15:17,639 --> 00:15:20,307
Clowns, children
and raggediness.
334
00:15:22,669 --> 00:15:24,077
I think it's a lost cause.
335
00:15:24,112 --> 00:15:27,452
No. There are certain things
that say to the world,
336
00:15:27,483 --> 00:15:29,884
"I have a boyfriend,
and he's not made up."
337
00:15:30,951 --> 00:15:32,508
Matching costumes,
338
00:15:32,535 --> 00:15:34,936
hickeys and sex tapes.
339
00:15:36,295 --> 00:15:38,263
Pick one.
340
00:15:38,715 --> 00:15:40,753
What's a hickey?
341
00:15:57,348 --> 00:15:58,775
How do I look?
342
00:15:58,859 --> 00:15:59,733
Fine.
343
00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:04,060
Uh-oh, is someone a little blue?
344
00:16:07,816 --> 00:16:09,620
Come on, Howie,
that's like the funniest thing
345
00:16:09,644 --> 00:16:11,845
I've ever said in my life.
346
00:16:12,383 --> 00:16:13,799
What do you say?
You ready to go?
347
00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:17,270
To tell you the truth,
I'm not really in the mood.
348
00:16:17,342 --> 00:16:18,328
What are you talking about?
349
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:20,328
It'll be fun.
All your friends'll be there.
350
00:16:20,372 --> 00:16:23,002
Yeah, some friends.
They all think I'm boring.
351
00:16:23,039 --> 00:16:25,033
Maybe you should go without me.
352
00:16:25,087 --> 00:16:27,375
No, if I'm there alone,
people might think
353
00:16:27,393 --> 00:16:31,128
I'm just a really short
person from Avatar.
354
00:16:31,332 --> 00:16:33,816
I'm sorry.
I just don't want to go.
355
00:16:33,844 --> 00:16:37,498
Hey, I just spent the last three
hours coloring myself blue.
356
00:16:37,547 --> 00:16:38,841
I'm gonna be washing paint out
357
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:41,005
of my Smurf for a month!
358
00:16:42,587 --> 00:16:44,366
Fine.
359
00:16:44,632 --> 00:16:46,325
Two weeks ago
I was an astronaut.
360
00:16:46,368 --> 00:16:48,918
Yeah, well, now you're a Smurf.
Keep walking.
361
00:16:51,563 --> 00:16:53,880
♪
362
00:16:54,102 --> 00:16:56,877
Oh, my God,
you guys look adorable!
363
00:16:56,901 --> 00:16:58,474
BERNADETTE:
Thanks, so do you.
364
00:16:58,718 --> 00:16:59,700
Slutty cop?
365
00:16:59,725 --> 00:17:01,025
No, sexy cop.
366
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:05,101
Slutty cop only came
with a skirt and two badges.
367
00:17:06,523 --> 00:17:07,960
And Albert Einstein?
368
00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:10,233
Ja, und later
she's going to arrest me
369
00:17:10,258 --> 00:17:13,487
for goink fashter
zen da shpeed of light.
370
00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:16,468
I thought we said
in the car, no accents?
371
00:17:16,499 --> 00:17:18,832
Sorry, Officer.
372
00:17:23,159 --> 00:17:25,075
Hello!
373
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:28,565
It's a great party!
374
00:17:28,596 --> 00:17:30,430
Thank you!
375
00:17:31,492 --> 00:17:33,603
The monster foods,
they're really fun.
376
00:17:33,628 --> 00:17:35,137
Oh, yes, thank you.
377
00:17:35,156 --> 00:17:39,103
I like to think of fun things
like that because I'm fun.
378
00:17:39,127 --> 00:17:42,407
I'm not clinically depressed
at all.
379
00:17:43,475 --> 00:17:45,692
Sheldon, get in here!
380
00:17:55,426 --> 00:17:57,927
I should've picked hickey.
381
00:17:58,105 --> 00:17:59,946
Hey, hey, look at you guys!
382
00:17:59,977 --> 00:18:03,503
I'm Raggedy Ann, and
he's Raggedy C-3PO.
383
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:07,279
It was a compromise.
I lost.
384
00:18:09,169 --> 00:18:10,894
Can you believe
Stuart's walking around
385
00:18:10,925 --> 00:18:12,812
taking credit for this party?
386
00:18:12,844 --> 00:18:13,985
Who cares?
387
00:18:14,028 --> 00:18:16,365
What do you mean "who cares"?
Look at what I pulled off here.
388
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:20,208
The deejay's on fire, there's
a Tardis photo booth in the back room,
389
00:18:20,239 --> 00:18:22,124
and, oh, my God, the food!
390
00:18:22,159 --> 00:18:25,143
Stuart wanted Kraft
Draculoni and cheese.
391
00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:28,052
You're right, the party's
fantastic. Please, tell me more.
392
00:18:28,077 --> 00:18:29,476
I haven't heard enough
about it all week
393
00:18:29,495 --> 00:18:31,662
because hearing about that
never gets old!
394
00:18:31,780 --> 00:18:33,311
Is this about the
space thing again?
395
00:18:33,335 --> 00:18:35,338
Well, I'm not allowed
to talk about it,
396
00:18:35,357 --> 00:18:37,287
but since you brought it up,
I went to space!
397
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:40,337
Space, space, space!
Space, space, space!
398
00:18:41,033 --> 00:18:43,794
Whoa, Drinky Smurf.
399
00:18:45,183 --> 00:18:46,514
Can I talk to you for a second?
400
00:18:46,539 --> 00:18:48,745
Great, now I'm in trouble.
401
00:18:48,808 --> 00:18:50,441
You happy?!
402
00:18:51,245 --> 00:18:53,501
You, out!
403
00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,294
You are being very rude!
404
00:18:56,319 --> 00:18:58,597
No, I'm not.
They're all being rude.
405
00:18:58,628 --> 00:18:59,801
And you're being rude.
406
00:18:59,819 --> 00:19:01,321
Me? What did I do?
407
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:04,345
(falsetto):
"Oh, Howie...
408
00:19:04,597 --> 00:19:07,681
"stop talking
about space so much.
409
00:19:07,945 --> 00:19:10,729
Nobody likes it."
410
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,120
(lowered voice):
I don't sound like that.
411
00:19:16,401 --> 00:19:17,384
You're my wife.
412
00:19:17,427 --> 00:19:18,934
You're supposed
to be on my side.
413
00:19:18,964 --> 00:19:20,940
I'm always on your side.
414
00:19:20,971 --> 00:19:23,993
Then why are you trying
to take this away from me?
415
00:19:24,589 --> 00:19:26,582
Being an astronaut is
416
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,766
the coolest thing
I'm ever gonna do.
417
00:19:29,916 --> 00:19:33,941
If I stop talking about it,
then I'm just...
418
00:19:34,616 --> 00:19:36,516
Just what?
419
00:19:36,813 --> 00:19:40,824
Just plain old
Howard Wolowitz again.
420
00:19:41,187 --> 00:19:44,958
Plain old Howard Wolowitz
is the best guy I know.
421
00:19:45,010 --> 00:19:46,489
You're just saying that.
422
00:19:46,514 --> 00:19:49,656
No, I'm not.
I married him.
423
00:19:49,685 --> 00:19:51,819
On purpose.
424
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,594
Come here.
425
00:19:54,909 --> 00:19:55,915
I love you.
426
00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:57,612
I love you, too.
427
00:20:04,433 --> 00:20:07,652
Nothing to see here.
Just sexy police business.
428
00:20:09,149 --> 00:20:11,733
Just explaining
the theory of relativity.
429
00:20:12,552 --> 00:20:14,303
(whispers):
Twice.
430
00:20:19,582 --> 00:20:20,982
Hey, what you watching?
431
00:20:21,008 --> 00:20:21,720
I don't know.
432
00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:25,785
Raj sent me some video
of Buzz Aldrin.
433
00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:30,046
Here you go.
It's a Milky Way.
434
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:34,238
The Milky Way's
a galaxy in space.
435
00:20:34,438 --> 00:20:36,605
I've been in space.
436
00:20:39,167 --> 00:20:42,003
Here's a Mars bar.
437
00:20:42,399 --> 00:20:44,065
I'm an astronaut.
438
00:20:48,686 --> 00:20:51,084
And this one's a Moon Pie.
439
00:20:51,497 --> 00:20:54,253
I walked on the Moon.
440
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,337
What have you done?
441
00:21:00,734 --> 00:21:02,505
Okay, I get it.
442
00:21:03,374 --> 00:21:09,374
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther